The Girl I Left Behind Me

by Backslasherton

First published

A human soldier with a Royal Crush doesn't come home one day.

A human soldier goes for a mission one day with a bad feeling.
A princess finds out that her crush returns her feelings.
A soldier doesn't come home.
A princess grieves.
And a man returns to the girl he left behind him.

Coverart is "Exhaustion" by KumKrum on DeviantArt. (Apparently the artist deleted the drawing above, so I can't link it anymore.)

The Girl I Left Behind Me (Old)

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I came to Equestria three years ago. Since then, I have fought many creatures and battles for the Princesses.The general populace doesn’t know about me, and I intend to keep it that way. I fight so they don’t have to. The only ponies who aren’t the princess who know about me are my squad members, and one or two of their best Generals. But a life of secrecy isn’t so bad. I mean, I got a private room in the castle and I’m fairly certain that the princess fancies me. Anywho, life was great until yesterday. That was when everything went to hell.


“Attention!” Jackson shouted. Eleven ponies straightened up in line and saluted. These were the elites, Jackson’s squad members. They were exceptionally trained soldiers in every category. Archery, swords, hand to hand, you name it.

“Alright troops, if we do well on this mission, we all get leave time. So let’s not delay any longer, debriefing time. There has been sightings of a terrorist band hiding in some diamond dog caves close to Ponyville. We get in, take as many willing prisoners as we can, and whoever aren’t willing, we take by force. Once we’re out, I contact the princess and she sends armored carriages and you all will load them on. I’ll meet up with you at Canterlot. Any questions?” No one raised a hand or spoke up. “Alright. Be at the airstrip by seven hundred hours.” Everyone saluted the Commander and walked off to their barracks. The Commander in question looked down at his watch and saw it was almost six forty-five. Just enough time for him to do one last thing.

I got a bad feeling about this mission. He thought. but I have to do it for Equestria.Well, and for her, but that was a given.


“Hello Jackson, what can I help you with?” Celestia asked the man from atop her throne. She has that smile. Jackson thought. That smile of a girl who has a crush. In truth, so did Jackson, but he was too scared to act on it. Funny ain’t it? I’ve fought dragons, griffins, diamond dogs, minotaurs, chimeras, manticores, you name it, I’ve fought it. Never felt true fear. A girl has a crush on me and I have a crush on her? I’m terrified.

“About to go on a mission. Thought I’d drop by and talk a bit before I leave.” He said with a shrug.

“What’s wrong?” She asked with a slightly more serious tone.

“I literally just said I’m about to go on a-”

“No that’s not it, you’re nervous. You’re never nervous about a mission.” She said, walking towards him.

He sighed. “I got a bad feeling about this mission. I just feel somethings going to happen. Which actually why I’m here.” He sighed and rubbed his forehead. “Celestia, if I don’t return-”

“Jackson…” She said sadly.

“If I don’t return, General Ironside will give you a package. There will be note in that package for you, my will, and a few other things.” He sighed and glanced down at his watch. “I must leave now. Goodbye, Celestia.” He said before giving her a quick kiss. The dumbfounded princess watched him walk away before realizing that he returned her feelings. She smiled and walked back to her throne to get ready for day court.

Good luck, Jackson.


“I’m sorry, Celestia. We all are. He was a good man and we couldn’t have asked for a better leader. But, when he died, he wanted me to give you this package.” The General handed Celestia a wooden box with “Douglas” engraved on top. “I shall give you your privacy now.”

“Thank you.” Celestia said calmly. The General bowed before walking out. She traced her hoof over the engravement of her late lover’s last name. She unlatched the box and slowly lifted the lid. Inside was two envelopes atop a wrapped parcel. One of the envelopes was mark “Will” and the other “Celestia”. She grabbed the one marked “Celestia” first. and opened it. Inside was a note and a silver pocket watch. The note read,

Dear Celestia,

If you are reading this, I am dead. Ironside should have given this to you one month after my death, meaning that the search should be over and you either found my body, or called off the search for other reasons. In any case, I wanted to tell you something. I may have already told you this, but I know you love me. To be honest? I always kind of knew. Yet I never acted on that because it scared me. The high and mighty human, scared of a little crush. Funny, isn’t it? I reckon about now you’ve pieced together what I’m going to say. I love you too, Celestia. Yet I was too much of a coward to tell you in life. Or maybe I did. If I did, then congrats to me. If not, well, now you know. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you months ago when I first found out.

You always asked me why I fought for a country in a world that wasn’t mine, and I always said “It’s not like I have anything else to do.” because I was a smart ass. The reason is, I do it because you work so hard to keep peace, and I wanted to help. Equestria is so much better than my home world, and I wanted to keep that statement true. So that’s why.


I just now realized, I won’t be able to meet your sister. I’m terribly sorry for that. Now, to explain something, I write one of these letters every time I go on a mission and give them to Ironside to replace the last one. I’m writing this before I go on a mission to dispel a terrorist band close to Ponyville, so I hope this is the right one.

It seems I’m running out of time to write this, so I’ll finish it off with some parting words.

Celestia, no matter what happens, raise the sun each and every day and raise the moon each and every night without sorrow. In two more years, Luna will be back and Twilight begin her destiny as an Element of Harmony. I will always be smiling in death, and let me tell you, I am terrified of death. So if I can smile while dead, you can sure as hell give a grin or two when you’re still alive. All jokes aside, I may be gone, but do not fall to grief. Twilight still needs a teacher, you know.

Goodbye Celestia.

-R. J. Douglas


Celestia placed the letter back in the envelope and looked at the pocket watch. It had elegant curves engraved all around the edges with R.D.J. engraved in the center. She open the watch to see stoppen hands. The hands of the watch were stuck on seven forty-two AM.

Why does that seem familiar? She thought.

She looked at the watch and saw a small crack on the glass and a bit of red stuck in the crack. Then she realized why that time was so familiar.


“Commander Richard Jackson Douglas, age thirty seven. Time of death, seven forty-two AM on May 14th 998 AN.” The soldier said solemnly to his princess. Before uncovering a body from underneath a white sheet in the back of the carriage. The Princess nodded before the soldier covered the body back up and closing the doors. “What do you want us to do, your majesty?”

“Bury him in the Royal Cemetery.” Celestia said solemnly. The soldier nodded before climbing into the front of the carriage and leaving. At her side stood her beloved student, who had been there for her as she grieved. The two turned and walked back to the castle as Celestia started to quietly cry again.


The Princess wiped her eyes and grabbed the one marked “Will.” and quickly read it. All it said was what to do with his belongings after he died. He gave all of his books to Twilight, all of his swords to Ironside, and the rest to Celestia. She put the note back in it envelope and placed it next to the letter.

Next up was the parcel underneath the envelopes. She pulled the string off and unwrapped it. Inside was his formal uniform to the military he belonged to back on his home world. She looked for a flag or a marking of it’s country of origin, but found none. Not that she’d recognize it, but she was just curious.

Looking back in the chest, she saw one last thing at the bottom of the chest. A flag of what was mostly likely the Earth country she had just been trying to identify, folded into a triangle. Unfolding it, she saw it had thirteen stripes, alternating between red and white with dozens of white stars on a blue square. But when she unrolled it, a stack of paper bound together by metal rings fell out. She grabbed it and read the title.

The Star Spangled Banner

National Anthem of The United States of America

Full Orchestra & Choir Score

She paged through the stack, looking at all the parts and the lyrics. She was no musician herself, but she could read basic Choir charts. As she was looking through the stack, she saw another piece of paper tucked into the book. She looked at the page with curiosity, as it resembled sheet music, but not entirely.

“The Girl I Left Behind Me Guitar Tab With Lyrics.” She read aloud. She recognized the words, as Jackson had played that song quite often. She closed her eyes and remembered his singing and strumming of that foreign instrument. Eventually she started singing it aloud to herself.


Halfway through, a male voice joined in.


She finished with a sigh and leaned back against her bed frame, eyes still closed. Suddenly, she shot upright, eyes wide open. There, standing in front of her, stood a man in a tattered suit and tie, stained red in a few places.


“My favorite song.”

The Girl I Left Behind Me (Rewrite)

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October 4th marks the 3rd year of my time in Equestria. During that time I’ve been the first of many things in this nation. When I appeared in the castle through… rather odd methods, as I’ve been told, I had with me only a few of my personal belongings. My phone (which was quickly an expensive paperweight), my wallet, my keys, and my pistol. It was a Colt M1911A1 from WW2. It was my choice for a concealed carry. A pistol was always strapped to my person. It kept me calm knowing I could defend myself. A fantastic weapon by any human’s standards, but the ponies have nothing like it. I intend to keep it that way, and their princess agrees.

Because of this mutual agreement, I helped establish a group whose sole purpose was to seek and destroy any attempts to further weaponry to the level that mankind achieved. The Department of Arms Race Prevention. My idea for the, based off of Earth conventions. Our job is to control the development and usage of advanced weaponry in an attempt to prevent a global arms race resulting in a world war. We on Earth have seen too many times that that’s what it leads to.

Call us what you will, but we’re not hypocrites. We don’t use any of the weapons we capture and ensure that no one else does either. I sometimes question if this is all even worth it. Someone someday will screw up and some bizarre pony World War 1 will break out and all this will be for naught. That’s my greatest fear. But in the meantime, I intend to prevent that as best I can.


“Ten-hut! Commander approaching!”


The seated ponies came to their hooves as a human approached. He wore a grey, starched, two piece dark grey suit with a white shirt and tan overcoat. His dress was immaculate, clean, and proper. He swung his coat off and threw it onto the table at the front of the crowd. The man waved, and the crowd took their seats again. He stood before them with his hands crossed in front of him. His expression was flat. Emotionless. His gaze swept across the members of the crowd.


“I don’t think I need to stress the importance of this operation.” The man called out to the crowd. “So listen up, pay attention and don’t miss anything. Civilian lives are at stake. Children.”


He walked over to the table and picked up a stack of photos.


“A band of diamond dog terrorists were spotted outside Ponyville in a cave around the Everfree forest.” He held up the photos. “To put it lightly, they’re a massive threat to the locals and the national government. The princess herself is watching this one. The thousandth anniversary of the Nightmare is soon.”


Whispers broke out in the crowd.


“Quiet!” The commander called out. “You all can read a damn calender, you knew that that was going to happen. What, are we five?”


The members of the crowd hushed and looked around. He shook his head.


“As I was saying,” The commander continued. “This is important to the Royal family. So no screwing around. Got it?”


“Yes sir!”


“Alright, we’ll move in through the front entrance here…”


“Sir.” Two voices called in unison. The clank of metal as two armor-clad bodies straightened their posture.


“At ease.” A male voice called. The armor rattled again as the bodies relaxed. “Is her majesty in?”


“Yes, sir.” A single voice responded.


“Is she currently with someone?”


“No, sir.”


“Alright. Open the doors.”


The rattle returned with the guards’ salutes, and the large doors thundered as they were pulled open. More salutes, then the clop as the guards’ hooves returned to the floor. Not long after: the click of shoes as a man walked through the doors.


“Well good morning, Commander.” A motherly voice called across the room.


“Good morning, your majesty.”


“What can I do for you this morning?”


The door boomed shut.


“Well, the department is about to go out for a mission. Thought you might be interested to know.” The commander scratched his head and looked down. “Briefings and all that.”


“Commander, I’m well aware of the mission at hand.”


“Ah, yeah. Well uh…” He chuckled to himself. “Just wanted to be sure.”


The white mare smiled softly.


“Jack, if you’d like to speak to me personally, you don’t need to jump through hoops.”


“Yeah, well….” Jack fiddled with the magazine flap on his belt. “I guess I’m overly cautious.”


“Is something on your mind?” Celestia asked. Jackson sighed.


“It’s this op.” Jack sat on the steps of the throne room. “I got a bad feeling about it.”


“What’s wrong with it?”


“I don’t know. Too many unknowns.” He shook his head. “I’d like to have more intel. Plan a bit more. I’d like to be the Russians, and right now I’m a pothead teenager from Chicago looking to make a quick buck.”


“What?”


“Sorry. Terrible attempt at several obscure references from my home.” Jack reached for his mag pouch again. Celestia laughed softly and sat next to Jack, reaching around him with a wing.


“You always resorted to humor whenever you’re stalling.”


“I lost Joey due to lack of intel. I don’t want to lose anyone else because I didn’t know they had any RPGs.”


“Jack, I don’t think you need to worry about any RPGs here.”


“Yeah. Thankfully.” Jack shook his head. “Celestia…”


Jack froze, and shook his head. Celestia pulled him closer.


“There’s nothing to be worried about, Jack.”


“Not it’s not…” Jack hesitated. He laughed and shook his head. “Yeah. I guess.”


Celestia tilted her head.


“What are you not telling me?”


Jack shook his head and stood.


“I’ve never been good at this sort of thing, an-an-and even in high school I wasn’t ever able to do this. I let that one girl go because I choked and didn’t talk to her after she asked me out, and the other one because I was too scared to hold her hand after six months.”


“Jack what are you trying to say here?”


“I love you.” Jack exploded. Quickly, he pulled himself back together and looked to the ground as he started pacing. “W-What I meant to say is…”


“Jack.” Celestia stopped him. “Did you say what you meant to say?”


Jack stopped in his tracks and looked her in the eye. He opened his mouth, but froze. She raised an eyebrow. He closed his mouth and his eyes fell to the ground. He nodded.


“Yes.”


“Well what’s so wrong with that?”


“Because everytime I get in any relationship, I screw it up some way.”


“From the sounds of it, it seems like you got better each time.” She smiled. “Third time's the charm?”


“No, actually, the hand holding one was in 6th grade and the not talking one was 9th or 10th grade year.”


“Does that matter?”


“I don’t know. I just…” Jack sighed. “I don’t want to screw it up again.”


“You won’t. There’s nothing you can do that’ll ‘screw it up’ more than those in the past have already done.”


The two stared at each other. Jack nodded, and dropped his head.


“Alright.” Jack said. Celestia smiled.


“Well I believe you ha-” The princess was suddenly cut off as Jack pushed himself close to her and kissed her. The connection was short, but sent the message. Jack pulled away and swung open the door to the throne room.


“Well then.” Celestia said.


“Your majesty...”


“Good afternoon, Sergeant. What can I do for you?”


“Your majesty, I’m so sorry...”


“What is it, Sergeant? What happened? Where’s Commander Douglas?”


“I’m so sorry.”


The silence of the early morning was deafening. The light drizzle sprinkled on the grass and statues scattered across the field. The immaculate landscaping reflected what little light there was in the cloudy sky. Two figures stood alone in front of an odd looking statue. It portrayed a human male in an immaculate uniform with a saber clipped to his side. At the bottom of the statue, on the base, was an inscribed message.

General Richard Jackson Douglas

Founding Commander in Chief of D.A.R.P.

November 5th, 960 - December 14th, 999

“The key to being a successful combat leader is to earn respect,

not because of rank, but because you are a man.”

Major Richard “Dick” Winters

“He was a wonderful man, princess.”


“He was.”


“He helped a lot of people and he did a lot of great things.”


“He did.”


Twilight looked to her side at her teacher, but she didn’t look back. The princess’s eyes were glued to the man’s name. Her normally warm and kind nature was gone. Her face was still and cold. The radiance in her eyes was gone. She stared, unmoving. Her student dropped her head and shook her head.


“I’m sorry.”


“He left this for you, your majesty.”


“Thank you, Lieutenant Shroud.”


The Lieutenant saluted stiffly, and walked away. The guards pulled the doors shut behind her.


The tall mare sat alone in the center of the chamber. The darkness of the room engulfed the edges of the marble walls of the interior of the castle. Two french doors were open on the far end of the room. The muffled grey light from the overcast sky flooded into the room.


In front of the princess sat a simple pine wood box. It was roughly medium sized, with two hinges and a latch. On the top, the letters RJD was branded into the wood. The princess reached out and touched the wood. She felt the grooves in the wood from the burning of the letters. She lifted the latch and swung the box open. On the top was two large envelopes. The first one had the word “Will” written on it.


She grabbed the top envelope and pulled open the wax seal. The letter inside was short and direct to the point. The second page was an inventory-like list of all of Jack’s belongings with a specific destination for each thing. The list wasn’t long.


She set the pages back inside the envelope and put it aside. Looking into the box again, she saw her name written on the second envelope. She broke the seal again and pulled out a short letter.

Dear Princess Celestia,

Today is December 14th. In a little bit I’ll be heading out to the yard to brief Lion Company on Operation Dog Romeo, aka The Diamond Dog Raid. I write one of these during all of my pre-planning for briefings. I lost a good friend of mine too early and left too much to say unsaid. So I’m saying it here now.

I love you. It started a long time ago. I don’t know when. But I do. Given all that I screwed up my past relationships, I never chose to make a move. Maybe someday I’ll get it together enough to do it. I doubt it.

Anyway. I hoped that one day I’d be able to get home. But I’m not sure if I would stay. If there was a way to go back and forth whenever possible, I’d be ecstatic. There’s so much of Earth I want to show you. The Texas capital. The wonders of the world. My ranch home in Lockhart. You’d’ve loved the Grand Canyon. And swimming in Barton Springs. I hope that you never get this letter, and that I’ll be able to do all that.

I don’t know what else to write. I normally have so much more, but not this time. I dunno. Anyway I just wanted to wrap this up.

You always asked me why I did so much for Equestria. Why I broke my promise of retirement from military for the rest of my life. After I lost Joey in Afghanistan, I swore to myself I was done. But when I came here to Equestria, a place that was so wonderfully peaceful, I wanted to preserve that. I don’t want to see some kind of disturbing pony world war.

What caused most of the beginnings of our conflict was the weapons we had. My hopes are that if there is a war, we can limit that casualties by making sure no one has the capacity to kill on the level that mankind did in 1914. Ten million deaths, twenty million wounded, and that was only the military personel. You can see why this sort of thing would be devastating to Equestria.

I’ll see you where ever we meet again.

Richard Jackson Douglas

Celestia set down the letter and wiped her eyes. She peered into the box again. Next inside was a flag of a non Equestrian country. She recognized it. The red and white stripes with the blue square and white stars. The flag was folded in a triangle. She set it aside and pulled the last object out of the box. A folded parchment sat at the bottom. She smiled sadly as she read it after unfolding the paper.


“The Girl I Left Behind Me” Celestia said aloud. Look over the page, she started singing along to the words written on the page. Her smile turned fond as she closed her eyes and remembered the song when Jackson sang it. She could even almost hear his voice sing in the room with her. She leaned back on her haunches as she sat remembering.


Suddenly her eyes shot open and she jerked forward. The man across the room smiled.


“My favorite song.”