A bookish beginning
Twilight had just found a book hidden in the very back of the Canterlot Castle's Royal Library. She had brought her find into town, flaunting it around Canterlot, rubbing it in everyponies faces that she had a book from the forbidden wing. I forgot to mention that she it found in the forbidden wing? Well she did.
Finally somepony told that if she was so f***ing proud of it, maybe she sit down and actually read the damn thing. Just to show them who's boss, she did.
The first page in BIG BLOCK LETTERS were the words Once Upon a Time.
WHAT THE F***!!? What was this? A foals storybook?!
She flipped the page. In much smaller letters (OH THANK CELESTIA!!!) said:
So the last year had been a very eventful year. You can read about the events on pages 111, 64, 78 and 91. Now as Celestia and Luna the two beautiful sisters (Although Celestia was much more so) finally began to find some peace, YET ANOTHER DAMN EVENT HAPPENED!!! Oh who are Celestia and Luna? Well, I, Celestia AM YOUR F***ING QUEEN SO SHOW SOME DAMN RESPECT!!! And Luna WAS Princess of the night, in till she went crazy and I had to take over. Look, let me start from the beginning:
So me and Luna ruled over Equestria. I was the older, so I, naturally got to rule over the day when the ponies, work and frolic. Day is the time everypony loves. It's the time filled with light and happiness. Now my sister, Luna on the other hoof.....Being the younger she ruled over the night. You know the scary time, that everypony hates. It's filled with death and despair. I made sure my sister Luna knew this by telling her over and over again, everytime I saw her. As a matter of fact, I at one point made a vow that the only words I would speak to her for a the next thousand years would be "Luna, I'm better then you, because day is amazing and night is boring. There is a reason everypony sleeps through night, you know."
So she eventually said "You know what Tia? F*** you and your day. It's going to be night forever because I'm not moving the moon. So you can just go f*** yourself." Then she transformed into her power form, Nightmare Moon. You see, us Alicorns have special forms that are a million times more powerful then are normal forms. However, there is a catch. If we transform into them, we don't get to leave that form for a thousand years. And even then, we don't get out unless we get blasted by the full power of an ancient relic! And we can't change are opinions from how they were when we transformed for the whole time we're in our power form.
So I got the Elements of Harmony, which were these powerful relics that represent friendship! I don't know how they worked with only one pony, since they needed friendship to work, but whatever. I used to wield them with Luna, but since I apparently didn't need her to use them, well, proves that she was totally worthless all along. They ended up sending her to the moon! And I was completely able to handle the day and the night! Yet another thing that proved Luna was completely useless!
Anyway, after I put Luna where she belonged, a big, booming voice from the sky spoke to me. It said "You have banished the one you share the connection to the Elements with. You may never be able to use them again. In a thousand years, your sister will return. New bearers of the Elements will arise and turn her back into your sister."
"CRAP!! I HAVE TO DEAL WITH HER AGAIN"
But the voice was gone.
...
"What the f*** did I just read" Twilight said.
Then in a flash of light, the book was gone.