Private Blueblood

by zombieboy671

First published

Blueblood has an attitude adjustment

With Celestia and Luna tired of prince Blueblood's pompous ass the two princesses decide that Bloodblue needs a personality adjustment. So with their infinite wisdom they send Blueblood to boot camp for a serious attitude adjustment.

(Author: I've never been to boot camp so if any military bronies are reading this I'll gladly take any suggestions and feed back it really doesn't matter what branch or nation you represent giving you're own personal insight would be greatly appreciated)

(Prologue) A normal day as a prince

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My life is perfect. I'm royalty ponies bow before me, give me attention and if anyone dare crosses me they will have to deal with my auntie princess Celestia.
A normal day for me is the sound of a choir singing me awake. After being awaken from my slumber I'll enjoy an hour in the royal spa while at least six expert mares pamper me to their full abilities no cost is too high for royalty such as myself. After a nice hour in the royal spa I walk to my wardrobe full of the finest clothes made from the most exotic materials silks and cottons of every color of the rainbow. Once I've outfitted myself in the finest clothes it's time for breakfast. A dandy lion omelet with toasted bread covered in premium zap apple jelly with the crust cut and a spot of mare grey tea. Once I've eaten I'll take a stroll though Canterlot with my entourage watching the pony races or indulging in noble affairs. After a day of excellent food and excellent company I'll return to the castle. With the sun falling in the sky I return once again to the dinning hall for dinner. A seedsar salad comprised of only the most lush greens and afterward a desert that the gods themselves will have made it a strawberry short cake made from pearl white milk, straw berries produced from only the top tier farms, and whipped cream from only the best dairy cows throughout Equestria. Stomach full of food and fatigued from today's events I retire to my bed chambers to recover. Just another normal day for me prince Blueblood.

A prince's temper

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The sun was still making it's way though the sky. It was still early as Celestia's horn glowed as she only slightly moved the sun over the horizon to signal morning. Satisfied with her work Celestia opened her chamber room doors. The guards posted by her door stiffened their postures and saluted their princess of the sun. As Celestia walked down the hall she heard the voice of a familiar over papered stallion.

"Calm down my prince there is no reason to continue this fuss over a few harsh words"! Said a solar guard.

"Harsh words,HARSH WORDS, this old fart has insulted me calling me an ass"!!!

Celestia had finally rounded the corner finding her nephew being restrained by two guards while another tried to diffuse the situation.

"Tell me guard what is the meaning of this"?

"The princess". All three guards bowed their heads in respect to their princess.

"Princess it's good to see you again" Iron shield stepped forward and gave a salute.

"General good to see you again, last time I saw you was back when you had quelled the diamond rebellion, that was years ago so how are you old friend"?

"The usual protocol princess, but ever since your sister's return the borders have been becoming active, with multiple other races, and some dangerous creatures mucking about with out border towns. Many of our outposts near our borders have sent in reports detailing some interesting information some which concern national security. I will need to discuss these matters in private with you."


"Auntie do you really know this cretan" Blueblood yelled trying to get Celestia's attention.

Celestia's response to Blueblood's was very blunt, rather than responding Blueblood was given a cold death stare followed by a cold shoulder. Blueblood's little temper tantrum was then halted, turning a grown stallion into a little colt who got a scolding from his mother.

"Guards resume your normal posts, as for you Blueblood I'll speak to you later about your behavior". Celestia gave one last look to her nephew then walked along side General Iron Shield down the hall.

As everyone left Blueblood was left by himself, he'd never been treated in such a way as he just was by his aunt. When ever there was a problem that concerned Blueblood he was always bailed out by his aunt. But now he was the one to be scolded and shamed. As everyone left Blueblod felt his blood boil at the thought of losing and being the LOSER. Blueblood had slowly began to make his way out the castle to clear his thoughts and maybe find somepony who's dumb enough to annoy him today.

The city of Cantorlot was a lively city, ponies from all parts of kingdom were in the city some conducting business,seeking pleasure, or just there for a chance to see the sun goddess or moon goddess. Blueblood was well known within walls, with his social status as a prince he'd grown strong ties to the nobles of Cantorlot if there was any gossip to hear whether it be political, economical, or just plain gossip about ponies he was well informed. Walking the streets Blueblood was given a path to walk, many ponies had knew of Blueblood's status making sure to not to get on his bad side. Blueblood had several incidents with ponies who weren't familiar with him all ending with guards being sent to calm the situation down. The thing was Blueblood was hoping for someone to step out of line so he could blow off some steam.

"CLEAR THE STREETS WE HAVE RETURNING SOLDIERS FROM THE BADLANDS"yelled a wall guard pony.

" Oh wonderful more military dogs" Blueblood huffed

The city gates opened to reveal the expeditionary unit an entire battalion composed of unicorn, Pegasus,and earth ponies. The many soldiers wore various types of armors some heavy and bulky while others were sleek and tight. The ponies marched in columns at the very end of the it was was a wagon carrying wounded soldiers. Many were critically wounded but the wagon also carried bodybags.

Hushed whispered could be heard from on looking ponies.

"Poor soldiers"

'These guys are heroes"

" No no honey don't look"

"But mommy I wanna look"

Blueblood stood within the crowd. His thoughts were returning to back to his own feeling about the military.

"Nothing but meat for the grinder" Blueblood whispered.

"Nothing but desperate failures" Blueblood's voice began to rise.

Blueblood began to attract the attention of the crowd. Ponies all around him turned their heads in his direction. Blueblood's voice rised in volume till he yelled out into the crowd his voice almost sounding like if he were singing. The various uniform soldiers took note of Blueblood and shot him hateful looks

"What in tartarus are you saying you bucking fool" a large golden clad armored stallion was face to face with Blueblood.

"You heard me you grunt you're nothing but meat, a failure at life pony who failed in normal society so you became nothing but a tool for when politicians can't talk their way to peace. You're a savage, dumb, meat head used to catch arrows, magic fire, and sharp edges of swords" Blueblood faced the stallion with animosity growing in his eyes.

"Really at least I'm not some weak punk noble who can toss bits at his problems" yelled the young soldier.

"My money is what pays for your food and clothes grunt so you best shut your fowl sewer of a mouth, do you not know who I am I'm the nephew of princess Celestia"

"Well your great and powerful aunt is the one who got my father killed during the diamond rebellion P.F.C (poor, fucking,civilian) , it's also why the borders are becoming active, I just know it."


Both ponies were locked eye to eye.

"What is all this commotion by order of the royal guard clear the streets" ordered a golden clad stallion.

Blueblood broke his gaze from his opponent and yelled to the guard.

"By royal order of prince Blueblood I overrule the order unless you'd rather be my opposition guard".

Once the guard had heard the voice of Blueblood he stood down fully knowing the consequences if he didin't heed the warning.

The once cleared road had became a corral, various ponies waiting for Blueblood and the young private to start an all out street fight. Among the crowd stood the soldiers of the expeditionary battalion, many hard boiled veterans who'd grown short tempers when civilians voiced their negative opinions about the military. Along with the soldiers stood the royal guard sworn to protect those of royal blood they stood steadfast waiting for the slightest bit of conflict.

"Private stand down now" a loud and commanding voice boomed in the crowd.

The watchful crowd opened way for a stallion wearing a uniform unlike the rest of the soldiers. Rather than heavy armor this stallion wore a dress uniform and a visor cap.

"Captain sir" Hardknocks stood to attention

"Private I have half the mind to have your ass transferred back to whatever hole you came from" the captain was inchs away from the privates face yelling.

As Blueblood watched he couldn't help but laugh seeing the private being torn a new one.
"hahahaha"

"Now all of you get back into formation or I'll have your leave time suspended" the captain was done with the private he didn't pay any attention to Blueblood never even looking in his general direction.

"Yeah that's right march off you army pukes hahaha, and also Private tell your Dad I said hi when you get home".

Once those words had left Blueblood's mouth, a golden hoof knocked Blueblood straight in the jaw. The actions of the private lit a powder keg of complete chaos within the street. Blueblood wasted no time in retaliating his horn glowed with a blue aura that shot out a beam of energy at the private sending him flying. Seeing their fellow soldier take a blow the entire battalion's enlisted stallions ran straight into the fight to teach Blueblood once you fuck with one of the herd your fucking with the entire herd. The nearby royal guards standing by also rushed in to aid the prince and try to minimize the violence but their actions only fueled the overall chaos.

The once clam and orderly street had become a mess of scattered fighting. Civilians within the immediate area ran in terror shrieking and grasping their loved ones hoofs in hope to escape the fighting. Bolts of magic were castes left and right. Guard ponies hoping to stabilize the situation used telekinetic and paralyzingly spells to stop the soldiers from harming the prince or any of the other guards. The soldiers that rushed in to fight used elemental spells to stun and incapacitate the guards. While some used magic others used their hoofs to engage their opponents up close dealing quick jabs that took down guards.

The brawl spiral out of control the guards nearby could no longer stand against the soldiers. So the remaining guards out classed did the only logical thing call for reinforcements. Droves of royal guards swarmed the area. Fighting to the bitter end the soldiers withstood the guards for a while but were eventually stopped and arrest. Bloodblood had suffered multiple bruises, scrapes, and a bloody nose and after the fight was examined by paramedics. The entire battalion was brought down and arrested. Many witnesses claimed the it started because of the soldiers while others blames Blueblood. Beacause of the multiple accounts the guards decided to take key suspects and hold them for questioning and eventual court sentencing.

Dirty,sweaty and still anger Blueblood was taken into custody.

Equestria Visitor's Handbook Introduction

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Hello reader and welcome to the wonderful land of Equestria. This handy dandy handbook will provide information for those not accustom to the country. The following things will be covered within the handbook. Equestrian laws, government, military, pivotal points of history, time, measurements, local lingo, and social customs. We at the Equestrian Foreign immigration Bureau would like to extend a hoof of friendship to all it's visitors. Those hoping to live, work, and take in Equine culture we also hope you have will be accepted into our society. We hope your time in Equestria is an enjoyable one full of laughs,adventures and memorable experiences.