Fluttershy's Love
Fluttershy clutched the letter to her chest with both hooves. She had poured her heart into the letter. Everything she felt and everything she wanted to feel had gone into the crafting of this one letter.
What if she didn’t like it? What if she didn’t read it? What if she said no? What if… What if…
Buck up, Fluttershy, she told herself, biting her lip and looking down at where the letter was supposed to go. She had planned it all out. She would wait up here until the right moment… She would go down and just leave the letter behind. Applejack would know it was from her. How could she not?
You did sign your name.
“Oh… right.” She waited… where was Applejack? She’d watched her for so long that she thought she knew her route every day. The woodland critters knew too, about her crush-
“Crushes are for fillies, Fluttershy,” she said, taking a firm tone with herself, “You’re in love with her. You can say it.”
“I know… but I’ve never said anything,” she replied, her voice barely a whisper. “How could she know?”
“That’s what the letter is for. You wrote it, you put everything into it. She’ll see your heart, and no matter what she’ll still love you for who you are.”
“Oh, I know, but…” worry dogged at her mind still, “What if she’s not-”
She cut herself off, “Does that matter? Even if she doesn’t love you the same way, surely she deserves to know. Let her decide for herself.”
“Oh, you’re right,” she said. Sighing, she looked at the letter again, so neatly enveloped, bulging both with paper and her love. “But… Maybe tomorrow? It doesn’t look like she’s around.”
An errant wind came up and tugged the letter out of her hooves and sent it fluttering to the ground.
“No!”
She dove after the letter, flying faster than she ever had before, and was about to catch the letter between her teeth, but another gust tossed it above her, then another caught it and sent it sailing off into the blue. She could only watch as it fluttered farther away, breath caught in her throat. She worked so hard on it and she didn’t know if she had it in her to try again. She was about to take off after it again when Applejack came out of the barn.
“Oh, hey there Fluttershy,” Applejack called up from the ground.
“Eep!” Letter forgotten, she tried to hide behind her tail. She was afraid to land. What if… Oh, Fluttershy… Will you ever be able to tell her?
“What’s up?”
“Oh…” Think Fluttershy, think! What’s up? She looked around for anything to comment on but her feelings, but all she could think of was her feelings. Then something fluttered down into her field of view - answer and bane together.
“The letter! I need to get the letter!” She pointed a hoof at the letter, and started to go after it, but Applejack’s voice stopped her again.
“What’re you doin’ deliverin’ mail, sugar cube? Ain’t that the mailmare’s job?”
Fluttershy wanted to go after the letter, but she also wanted to talk with Applejack. Every moment was like a dream, and a nightmare, all rolled up into one.
Maybe, just this once, she could overcome her fear and admit her feelings. Frozen by indecision, she could only watch as the wind seemed to carry the letter directly to Applejack by some strange twist of luck.
“Oh.” She looked at the letter’s addressee, “Did little ol’ Miss Delivery give you my mail again?”
“Uhm…” Fluttershy clutched her tail closer, hiding her nose in the comforting coolness.
Applejack tore open the letter and unfolded it on the ground to read it right there in front of her. This wasn’t part of her plan! But she couldn’t move. What if… What if…
She watched as Applejack read the letter, her stomach churning the entire time. Applejack never looked up, only turning the pages mechanically. The longer she was quiet, the longer she read, the more Fluttershy wanted to fly away.
“Fluttershy…” she called up again when the last page lay stacked neatly atop the envelope.
“Yes?”
“Come down here, sugar cube. I reckon we oughta talk.”
“I…” Fluttershy gulped, then did the hardest thing she had ever done. She landed in front of the love of her life, uncertain what she was going to say.
To her surprise, the first thing to greet her when her hooves touched ground was a kiss.
“Sugarcube, you shoulda told me sooner, but there’s one thing I think you should know if we’re going to be together... Like this.” Applejack kissed her again and all Fluttershy could do was melt into it. Her heart racing like it never had before.
“What is it you want to tell me?” she asked when the kiss ended several heart pounding moments later.
“This is a dream.”
Fluttershy snapped awake. She’d fallen asleep at her desk again. Before her were the scattered remnants of a dozen letters started but not finished. The ink on the most recent began to run as she cried.
“I can’t… I just can’t!” She shoved all the papers off her desk in a fit of grief and despair. All except one.
She couldn’t get rid of it.
Dear Fluttershy,
You are cordially invited to attend the wedding of Applejack and…
She just couldn’t bring herself to read anymore. She hadn’t even taken it all the way out of the envelope. She couldn’t know. She mustn’t know! But still it sat there, taunting her with what might have been and what now would never be.
She pushed away from the desk and drew out her own private journal and lay down in her bed to write a new entry.
Dear Diary,
I thought that I could show her that I loved her by being as kind as I could be. I thought that kindness would be the balm that would soothe her hurts. I dreamed that we could be together, and I thought being kind to her would be the best way to show her how much I loved her.
I thought kindness would solve everything...