Maud follows a pattern distinct from the rest of the ponies in Equestria. What happens though when she meets Cheese Sandwich, a pony with a vitality of spirit she’s all too familiar with? Is it love? Maud Pie x Cheese Sandwich! Rock out!
Maud follows a pattern distinct from the rest of the ponies in Equestria: in different ways all of the Pie clan does. What happens though when she meets Cheese Sandwich, a pony with a vitality of spirit she’s all too familiar with? Is it love?
Most ponies wore their colors on their coats, or they dyed their manes, or they paraded in gregarious dresses. She knew she was different; she wore her colors on the inside. In a land of sunshine and rainbows, the frowner was deviant. Others would often accost her, asking what was wrong. Several stallions even thought she was challenging them; they tried feebly to put a smile on her face. Invariably after the third or fourth date, they would realize she was unshakeable in her disposition. The most promising candidate sadly left before he could see her faintest smile. On his walk out, he even called her a ‘sourpuss’ and ‘downer’. If only they saw beyond the small speck on her surface they would know that a rich mineral vein was underneath. Still she did not openly advertise.
It was the way she simply was. The Pie clan was taught to value every gesture and show of emotion. In the dusty quarry where they farmed rocks, it was a life of isolation similar to a monastery. Ambient magical energy in the ground caused precious gems to manifest within boulders. The Pie clan had long lived on a leyline where magic converged and pooled. When they weren’t breaking or halving stone for their mineral deposits, it was so silent a pony could hear her heartbeat and those around her. They offered shelter and board for vagrant once. It was some former starlet, Trixie the something was her name. The mare did not seem to be a friend of the quiet and she worked in a frenzied pace letting the sound of her striking pickaxe drown out the thoughts in her head. After a month and half of working the fields, the light blue mare secured her pay and left them citing the maddening silence. Maud liked the silence, she found herself in it. The serenity it brought was a piece of heaven. Then there was her sister…
If the Pie clan was abnormal amongst the rest of Equestria, Pinkie Pie could be said to be a deviant amongst the deviants. A rebel amongst rebels? A dab of color in the drab, she was. From accounts of others, Maud knew her sister even amongst the extroverted was an extraordinary exception. Her sister’s spirit was not the hollow hell of a shell she’d seen others project, nay Pinkie’s cider cup runneth over. Pinkie was able to make Pa and Ma to smile, something of which was rarer than a blue moon. Pinkie’s rebellion or revolution had caused a stir within her long ago if not within the family as a whole. Maud had cloistered herself in the university studying geology and now had a degree to hang over her mantle place. It was a long time coming but she was going to set out into the world… to catalog all the varieties of rock.
Maude pulled back the handle to open her booth in the train car. She nearly broke the handle off as she did. A rock farmer’s lifestyle would enhance the strength of any who lived it. Combined with natural Earth Pony strength, Maud’s muscles were well toned. She was not boastful though, for the pride often came at a price. Those who knew themselves did not need to demonstrate what they could do should the meaningful moment come. She smirked internally, entering the train she had passed a troop train car, she knew she could destroy half those Royal Guards in hoof wrestling without so much as breaking a sweat. She’d collect their betting bits and have her pocket purse flushed with coin. She had done it before. Nay today they would live; she had poetry to write. She opened the tiny black book and took a quill from her satchel.
Maud’s Journal; Page 42
Rock rich in ore, what lies in your core?
Fluorspar, amethyst, diamond, or more?
Rock away to the roadside, they cannot see
Do they bother with what’s inside before they toss thee?
Rock we live on a bigger rock, that’s science it’s true
Most don’t know or care, what is a girl to do?
Suddenly the door to her cabin opened. She set her journal aside and pulled out her ticket, expecting the conductor. Instead she saw a brown maned pony with a cheesy color coat complexion. He wore a dark brown poncho and western style hat. The stallion promptly sat in the seat opposite her.
“Hey good lookin’ miss, mind if I sit here? It’s a nice day isn’t it?”
She had reserved a booth for herself, paid in full. “Yes,” said Maud.
“Yeah, I disagree though. It’s not a nice day.” He dramatically lowered his hat’s brim to hide his eyes. The stallion hung his head low seemingly in a depressive state.
Maud was beginning to like this pony that is if he didn’t continue. He continued…
He popped up his head. “It’s not a nice day. It’s a fantastic day!” He bounced on the seat cushions. He jumped out of his poncho and hat, to reveal a yellow t shirt underneath. “A celebration for pony kind! We should all be happy to be alive! What makes you happy?”
“I like rocks.”
“I see. Those are some mighty delicious rock candy necklaces you got there!”
“Here, have them.” Maud threw the collection of candy rings onto his neck. She wasn’t a candy addict. Her snacking preference was salty. She could chew rock salt all day.
He nearly toppled over from the weight of the many candied necklaces. “Shucks miss, these are heavy. I guess I’ll have to eat them! Thanks a bunch.” The stallion happily began munching on the crunchy sugar crystals.
Maud was less than pleased. Her silence and serenity was being invaded.
In between noisy chewing the stallions spoke. “So what do you do for a livin’?”
Maud sat back to avoid the flecks of candy crystals flying from his mouth as he spoke. “I’m a geologist. I study rocks.”
“Woweee you’re going to be a tough customer. I’m a party planner. Be it wingding, hoedown, hootenanny, or shindig, I'm your pony. It’s my job to make ponies smile. I bet I could put a smile on your face. I bet you dinner!”
Maud remained steadfast. “You won’t.”
“Of course not!” He reached into his satchel. “Not alone! This is my good friend and partner, Boneless Two!” He pulled out a rubberized chicken toy out of his satchel. The toy squeaked as he set onto the seat. He tried to throw his voice making the chicken talk. “Hiya there miss, I’m here to put a smile on your face! I’m Boneless, what’s your name now?” The tiny chicken took off its tinier hat and bowed.
“Maud.” she spoke. She blinked slightly when she realized she had responded to a questioned posed by a rubber chicken puppeteered by a grown stallion. She supposed she had developed a habit of talking to inanimate objects. Her pet rock, Boulder, was a source of great emotional venting for her. She once even shouted at it, in so far that she spoke in a slightly elevated tone. Her pet resided in her chest pocket by her heart.
Boneless squeaked. “Well gee, me and Cheese Sandwich here are going to make you smile before this train trip is done!”
Cheese laughed. “That’s right, Boneless. We’re going to make her smile!”
Maud was tempted roll her eyes.
Boneless squeaked as he flapped his little wings and bobbed his head. “Where do bat ponies, keep their savings?”
“A blood bank,” Maud replied. She heard that one from Pinkie ages ago.
Boneless crossed his chicken wings. “Well, that’s a surprise you know your jokes! Okay another one! How do you make a small fortune in the Canterlot racing derby?”
“You start with a large fortune.” Maud did not so much as blink.
Cheese smiled in preparation for his next joke. “What do you call when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver?”
She took a while but wasn’t able to think of the answer. He was talking about minerals; she should have known yet she drew a blank.
“SWAG in your bag!” Cheese had a tiny drum set and cymbal to play punctuating the joke.
Maud wanted to slap herself. Her geologist training should have prepared her. The elements he mentioned were represented by letters in the periodic table. S was sulfur, W was tungsten, and AG represented silver. “Those were elements…” It was funny to her. Her lips quivered but she was rock solid. She refused to smile. There was no way this amateur was going to get her to. Her stoicism was stone; like the jagged rocks off the Coast of Woe she had dashed ships before. Her own personal debate raged on inside for a while, behind the same expressionless face.
The train chugged along as the world passed by outside the window unaware of any of her internal musings. Maud came back from her daze to find Cheese flicking through a small little black book. “Yowza is this your poetry?” Cheese's eyeballs poured over the pages.
“That’s mine,” said Maud, sternly.
His smile disappeared as he read on. “It’s good, but sorta sad. Those rocks are awful lonesome.”
Maud snatched her private journal away. She was breathing heavily in anger which amounted to a slight puff. She placed her hoof on his and pressed ever so slightly. She didn’t like to show of her rockbreaker's strength but she squeezed him slightly to stress her point. She knew a little more and she’d hear the crunch of his bones.
“My Miss Maud, that’s some strength you go there.” Cheese tried to smile through pressure and pain.
Her strength and outward emotions were things Maud strived to control otherwise she might break the world. She removed her hoof. “You should leave.”
They heard a knock on the cabin. “Tickets please,”
Maud looked to see Cheese had disappeared. All was left was his rubber chicken that dangled by a wing from the top head luggage compartment door.
The conductor opened the door and stepped into the booth. In his blundering and thundering, the conductor, walked with the authority of a police pony. “Tickets please.”
Maud gave the conductor her ticket for him to stamp. As she did the conductor heard the rustling in the top compartment.
“Miss is there someone else there with you? We’ve been looking for a stowaway. The bum sweet talked himself onto the train.” The conductor eyed the top head luggage compartment. He grimaced when he saw a rubber chicken stuck on the luggage compartment door. The chicken was a flag for suspicion.
It was the moment of truth. Part of her wanted to rat out the intruder, Cheese would get kicked off and she’d be given her peace. She didn’t even have say a thing. Inaction was an action unto itself as often was her choice. The conductor was reaching to open the compartment.
Maud spoke. “It’s just me. You can’t tell anyone.” She blocked the conductor from moving forward subtly by standing up.
The conductor looked at the Cheese’s colorful saddle bag and party confetti all over the compartment. The vibrant things clashed severely with Maud’s gray coat and the muted colors of her robe. “That doesn’t seem like the stuff you’d carry.”
“I’m a ventriloquist comedian. I like to keep my act and my life separate.”
“Really?”
“Watch, I can make that chicken talk.” Maud pointed a hoof at the rubber toy.
The conductor looked at the chicken with a skeptically raised brow.
Maud repeated louder. “I said I can make that chicken talk.”
Boneless spoke. “Yes she can! We’re a travelling act! Biggest sensation in Equestria! I’m the funny one!”
“No I am.” said Maud in her monotone.
The conductor laughed. “The old contrast act huh? Your dead pan versus the chicken’s humor. That’s some talent, Miss.” He turned towards the cabin door. “Well if you see some bum in a poncho with a hat, shout out.”
“I will.” Maud and the chicken spoke at once.
The conductor swung his head back.
Maud spoke again. “I will.”
“Ha, your lip sync could use some work.” The conductor left chuckling and returned to grumbling in the train hallways. “When I catch that stowaway bum! A beating I say! Maybe two beatings! Then out he goes!”
After she was sure the conductor had passed their train car. Maud tapped the luggage compartment to signal the all clear. In the window the setting sun, painted the desert landscape with hues of cerise, orange, and gold.
Cheese Sandwich swung down and smiled harder than she had seen him thus far. “Miss, you saved my hide!” He looked out at the window and the passing desert. The place was barren and inhospitable. “Getting kicked off the train in the desert is a death sentence.”
Maud sighed. “You can’t afford a train ticket?”
“Nah, you don’t wanna hear my sob story.”
She insisted. “Tell me.”
Cheese Sandwich, frowned for the first time she had seen him. His fluffy mane deflated slightly. “Well miss, I’m the premiere party planner in Equestria. Ponies pay me fortunes to host parties for them. I use the money I get to plan the next party. I never turn a profit or save a bit; I figured their smiles was reward enough. Recently a customer didn’t pay… I turned bust. Reality isn’t a party… unfortunately. I’ve been betting ponies meals for smiles for a while."
He sighed, sinking into his seat. “It takes something out of ya… Right now I’m feeling maybe the biggest joke is my life...”
This pony was insufferable. He barged into her cabin. He disturbed her quiet contemplation. He even violated her most sacred diary. Yet this genuine moment from him showed her how she misjudged him. Had she not wanted him out she would have noticed how distended his stomach was. She understood it now; he wasn’t asking her out on a date, he was actually starving. Regardless of his situation, he’d been smiles all up till this moment. He wasn’t groveling for a meal but rather he worked for it. His attempts to make her smile almost even worked. There was a glow from his personality that inspired her fiercely… all these emotions and thoughts remained inside of course.
Maud thought of her sister, Pinkie was once in a slump. Rock farming at days’ end was repetitive menial labor. She heard in other lands, they conscripted convicts to do the work. The sanctuary was easily a prison. Despite her disdain for sweets she taught her sister how to make rock candy. A new tradition was started between them and after they made the first batch of the crystal treats, Pinkie had forgotten her sorrow. Seeing Cheese Sandwich, she felt she had do something. She swore she could hear her pet rock tell her to be ‘bolder’.
She spoke in the most comforting inflection she could which filter out in her monotone voice. “I like you. Your antics remind me of my sister, Pinkie Pie.”
His mane popped back up slightly. “Well it’s funny you should say,” Cheese rubbed the back of his mane. “I actually—”
“You, me, and dinner.”
Cheese was shaken by her sudden offer. “What?! Sure… but I didn’t win the bet. I didn’t make ya smile.”
Whoever said Earth Ponies had no magic did not witness this moment. As was her choice, she let him see the colors within. The gray mare’s lips curled upwards. The last of the sunset light caught her teeth. It was a stupid grin, but brilliantly the smile gleamed like a star descended.
Cheese was so surprised by her he dropped his rubber chicken squeaking to the floor.
Maud planted a small kiss on the cheek of the stunned stallion. “I’ll rock your world.”
Cutie Marks were supposedly the manifestation of a pony’s special talent or calling in life. Maud hid hers at nearly all times. To her the emblems on their flanks were more a curse than any divine blessing. One look and other ponies could judge you based upon your probably profession, your favorite pastime, or your prospects for future success. Some even wore clothes to accentuate their marks when they got a favorable one. While the abstract ones presented a sea of possibility; what if you had a toilet plunger for your mark… what if you had a plain rock? Others basked in the assurance it gave them, Maud wished at times to have been born into the other races which didn’t have so defined a life goal. They forever stumbled in the darkness but were free. She wondered whether they at times felt the desire for destiny when she wanted to escape? Perhaps perspective was another Tartarus.
Rock researcher, or geologist, she would have liked her career if she paid any mind to it. The eternal debate between nurture and nature wasn’t lost on her. She considered her place of birth, her parents, and her upbringing. As eldest sister everything was pulling her towards becoming first of the next generation of rock breakers. She would find a goodly stallion and he would father foals that would continue the long line and so on and so forth. They might as well have already picked a spot for her funeral plot in the family cemetery. Maybe a nice granite headstone that wrote ‘Here lies another Pie’. Pinkie Pie though changed all that. Her sister had received a mark not related to rocks. It got Maud thinking about her own ‘fate’. She had gotten her mark and it seemed every bit likely she’d die a rock breaker. Her family’s congratulations were agonizing for her. She resolved to be a researcher instead; perhaps it was a compromise to what destiny had deemed and her own wish to defer.
Whereas Pinkie Pie had proved a different path was possible, Maud sought to walk it. Rock farming to many was an outwardly absurd profession. In her family it was done by ‘senses’, Ma and Pa partly tolerated Pinkie’s deviant behavior because she had the keenest ‘sense’ that seemed unfailing. In university Maud learned that they were actually feeling for the magical ley lines in the land and that moving boulders was quite logical. Certain areas would permit the magical ambient energies to manifest gemstones far faster within boulders. She would have spent her entire life not knowing if she didn’t go to school. She remembered when she expressed her wish to study rocks rather than just break them; Ma and Pa Pie acted as if she had questioned the divinity of Celestial sisters. Pa almost shouted. However, an agreement was struck when Maud demanded to be considered as an employee of the family. She worked to pay for university on her own. As eldest sister, she imagined she had paved the path a bit for Pinkie to leave the rock farm.
So far from home however it dawned on her that she had gone past even the distance it took to get to her university. Ma and Pa had not traveled so far in their long lives. In fact most of the Pie clan never ventured more than a day’s walking distance anywhere from their home. She suspected she may have even broken her sister’s record though she didn’t know how far Pinkie had traveled. Where was this homesickness coming from? All her life she wished to go away now beyond the threshold she missed the rock farm. Her thoughts gave her inspiration. She opened her journal and began writing.
Maud’s Journal: Page 43
Sedimentary rock, the weakest of stone
Makes me sentimental to see you alone
Many ponies ignore you because you are small
But together you can build into a mighty wall
Single sedimentary rock, you left your family
Was it worth it to be loose but free?
She closed her poetry book and the world around her came back to her senses. She was in a dining car of the train with Cheese. Maud beheld his physical peculiarity; the stallion seemed to have limitless void in his belly. Buying him dishes sated her curiosity, and he was onto his sixth dish. Cheese was devouring plates of food in the matter of mere seconds. His stomach reminded her of the deeper holes in their rock farm quarry; in particular the Devil’s Pit, a mining tunnel which seemingly extended into the very bowels of the earth. The slightest whisper could echo until oblivion. She enjoyed telling the pit her secrets and fears.
Cheese pointed to her journal. “So, good looking, watcha got cooking?”
“A poem.” Maud hugged the book close to her. Her thoughts and internal monologue were written in the tiny tome; Cheese had already invaded them by carelessly reading some passages before. For that she almost broke him.
“Those lonely rocks again? How many of those you got?”
“Thousands.”
Cheese blinked and coughed slightly on his meal. Rather than express a horrifying sense of reflection upon pony mortality and remarking on her ‘wasted’ time before the eventual grave, Cheese was interested. “About rocks? Wowee, that takes talent. That’s rather pro—” He rolled his eyes in his head as he contemplated an appropriate word. “—prodigious of you.”
She thought he was going to say ‘prolific’ as her sister had often used to describe her volume of work. She supposed for the similarities Cheese was his own stallion; rather than a male copy clone of her sister. She smiled, inwardly.
“This chow is good! Thanks again!” Cheese chewed with his mouth open almost got some of his spit onto her salad.
She moved her dish towards her. “Eat or talk. Not both.” Maud was abhorred by his lack of table manners, but she forgave him due to his starvation. She chewed her own meal slowly letting the leafy greens crunch under her grinding teeth. She didn’t so much savor the flavor but she enjoyed the texture.
“I’m mighty grateful, but are you sure we should be in the dining car? What if that conductor comes back?”
“Here,” said Maud, giving Cheese her train ticket. The conductor had been too distracted to stamp hers.
“Miss Maud, without a ticket they’ll throw you out.”
“They can try.” Maud raised a hoof.
Cheese seemed to remember her freakish strength and nodded meekly in agreement. He finished the last of his food in a great gulp. He looked guiltily at his stack of white porcelain plates. “This won’t stand; I’m going to pay you back.”
“How?” His feeding habits halved her savings. Maud was looking for a realistic solution to refill her treasury.
“I’m a merchant of smiles! Next town, I’ll help host a party or something! You’ll see!” Cheese declared.
Maud rose from her seat.
Cheese called after her. “Where are ya to going? Miss Maud? Miss Maud?”
She paused to reply. “Merchants need money.”
It was no was no longer an option, she would raid the troop train car. Her entry would be calm and commanding; they wouldn’t know what hit them. The guards were not her target; their coin purses were. Her destination would arrive soon so she decided to go for the fattest one for the biggest pay day.
Maud tapped her hoof on the armor of a Royal Guard. The two Royal Guards stopped their conversation and turned to her. She spoke in her monotone voice. “Take me to your leader.” Her alien mannerism and monotone caused the guards to look at each other questioningly.
“She’s harmless, why not?” said the left soldier.
“What can a cute little Earth Pony mare do?” The other guard shrugged.
The left guard coughed. “Don’t let the Captain hear you say that.”
“You want to meet our Captain?” said the right guard.
Maud gave a nod.
“Two of you?” said the right guard.
Maud looked back to find Cheese had followed her like a lost puppy. She nodded again.
Inside the troop train car, Maud spotted a dozen and half guards casually playing cards, drinking cider, or making conversation. She noticed oddly that there was a chest in the center of the cabin wrapped in chains that were bolted down to the floor.
An impatient blue color coated Earth Pony Mare pranced around the cabin. “This is soooo boorringg!”
“Captain, protecting this cargo is important.”
“Blah! So says you. We’re guarding a stick!”
“Scepter of light.” said the lieutenant.
“It’s a stinking stick.” The Captain pouted.
The Captain was a female Earth Pony? It was strange but it didn’t deter her. Maud tapped the Captain on her shoulder. “Hey, hoof wrestling?”
The Captain smiled as she turned toward Maud. “You wanna challenge da Captain Blueberry Frost to hoof wrestling?”
“Yes.” said Maud. She produced her still sizeable bag of bits.
Blueberry smiled. “Well if you’re goin’ to let money do yer talkin’ so will I!” The Captain pulled out an equally sizeable purse.
A table was pulled to the middle of the cabin; the bets were placed on it. Their hooves met and the match had begun.
Blueberry smiled confidently. “Yer going down! Dem bits are mine!”
Guard armor was troublesome; it hid the flanks and the guard’s marks. Rank and file soldiers even had enchantments that made their coats uniform colors of gray or white. Maud could never tell a weekend warrior from a career mare, but still she was confident that she could defeat most. Officers though didn’t adhere to such a strict uniform standard. Blueberry Frost seemed like a name suited for a civilian rather than a soldier. Maud struggled though to pull her the Captain’s hoof down, had she misjudged her opponent or misjudged herself? She maintained her calm hoping it would unnerve her opponent.
“You got a good poker face!” Blueberry growled as she applied more torque and pressure.
Maud barely met the increase in strength. Was her opponent a former fellow rock breaker? The Captain pushed back with equal force. Two mountains of might collided. Like tectonic plates grinding against one another, the cabin shook from the earthquake of their making.
And then the table broke snapping at all four legs. Maud saw her moment.
Splinters flew as both ponies fell forward as the furniture snapped. Cheese and the guards protected their faces from the flying wood. When all was clear, it was then when everypony saw Maud victorious.
Maud announced with aplomb but no note of boast. “I win.” She proceeded to collect both chain purses into her saddlebags. She was about the bits not the winning. She’d let others boast if they had won.
“No way! Not fair the table gave out! I ain't giving in! That don’t count! I demand a rematch!” Blueberry pointed a hoof.
She hid it but her hoof was hurting. She couldn’t afford another match. She calmly spoke hoping to douse her passion. “No.”
“Grrrr! Rematch now!” Blueberry pounded her hoofs on the wooden flooring like petulant child.
The Captain was belligerent. She wouldn’t add fire to her anger. She said in her normal tone. “No.”
Maud had misgauged Blueberry’s ego. She thought her power to read ponies was better. By the Captain’s accent she was Southern Equestrian, notoriously stubborn folk. The Captain seemed angrier and to be near to blowing a fuse. Even the guards back away as a fight seemed brewing. Blueberry growled. “A hoof wrestling rematch or… we duel! Hoof to hoof combat!”
The Royal Guards made “ooo” noises at the challenge.
Cheese leaned against a table. “Whoops!” The table tilted and catapulted the contents of cider mug into his face.
The Guards turned to him. One of the Guards snickered.
Cheese then slipped on the cider on the floor. Reaching for another table he caused another wooden mug to splash his face with cider. The mug ended up on his head like a hat.
Cheese lifted the mug. “I guess this round is on me!”
The Guards roared in laughter. Blueberry joined in. They seemed to a be a fan of slapstick humor. The tension evaporated in the levity.
The Captain sighed. “Okay, you win.” Blueberry leaned in uncomfortably close to Maud. “Hey want to get a drink later?”
“No,” said Maud.
Blueberry sighed, smiled, and pointed to the door. “Alright, get out of here!”
They exited the troop train car to the angry face of the conductor. He pointed a hoof at Cheese.
Cheese took out the ticket Maud gave him.
The conductor grunted and pointed a hoof at Maud. “Now yours.”
Cheese bumped into Maud’s flank. She felt him pass her the ticket with his hind hoof. After shifting it to her fore hoof, Maud promptly showed the same ticket to Conductor.
The Conductor narrowed his eyes. “I want see both your tickets. At once!”
Cheese tugged nervously on his t-shirt collar. Maud maintained her general composure but blinked.
“Guards! We have stowaways.” The conductor shouted as he pounded his hoof on the troop train car door.
Blueberry opened the door. “These two are okay.”
The Conductor protested. “They’re suspicious! You’re Royal Guard! Check them out!”
Maud felt Blueberry’s eyes on her. Blueberry grinned while licking her lips. “I already did.” Blueberry turned back to Conductor. “The gray one is a prude but okay too.”
The Conductor grudgingly grimaced and left with a huff.
“Prude?” Maud turned back to the door where Blueberry had disappeared behind.
“Wowee, you got your bits and I got my life! This is great! Maybe my luck has turned around.” Cheese cheered and did at cartwheels.
Maud recalled Cheese’s clumsiness in the troop train in the light of the finesse he showed by passing her the train ticket. Now she didn’t know how, but he was doing celebratory cartwheels. She knew there was more to Cheese’s aloft demeanor. He had helped her avoid a fight she didn’t know she could win or not. Maud for all her stony stoicism that was reminiscent of the Guards, she knew she wasn’t a soldier. She could never stand to be ordered or the mindless marching. In a match of equal strength skill would win. The prospects of such a duel in retrospection scared her in that she so sorely misjudged her abilities and that of others.
She turned to Cheese. “Thank you.”
“For what? Miss Maud? You did all the work. What did I do?”
“You know.” She remained silent after; it was an effective tactic to get ponies to reflect upon her words. It was also good for extracting information since many ponies would desperately attempt to fill the silence with inane jabbering. She waited for him to connect the dots. Cheese simply shrugged. She tapped her hooves on a table and pretended to lean on it.
Cheese chuckled. “Ha, Miss Maud, you impress me more every moment.”
Maud took a dish towel from her pouch and wiped some of the cider from his face. The towel was given to her by some generous pony had offered to make her some clothing. She didn’t want to impose and had simply taken the towel.
“Awww you ruined your nice scarf.”
Pinkie declared it to be a ‘scarf’, Maud never thought anyone could share her sister’s divergent thinking. Cheese was smiling widely, even after playing the fool. After she finished wiping his face she told him.
“Maud, you don’t have to clean me up.”
“I want to.” Maud finished wiping down Cheese’s face and mane.
She made their way back to the cabin with Cheese in tow. Along the way Cheese bumped into another passenger, an unicorn mare with a white coat and green eyes.
“Sorry about that miss.”
The unicorn mare batted her emerald eyes. “You have a fine face, stranger. Might I borrow… you?”
Maud stepped in and simply glared at the unicorn. She let her presence speak for itself.
“I see he’s spoken for. I apologize then.” the unicorn mare nodded and continued on her way. Maud could swear she see a green flash when the unicorn changed train cars.
“My Cheese Sense is tingling on that one.”
“What sense?”
“My Cheese Sense, it’s sort of my instinct when I get it I have to drop everything and take up my new mission. Or it just tells me something. I could be anything.”
‘Cheese Sense’ sounded a lot like ‘Pinkie Sense’ to Maud’s mind. Something told her that Cheese might have made a good rock farmer just for that intuition of his. At least that was her insight.
Maud asked. “What do you sense about me?”
“I got good vibes about you. My Cheese Sense tingled when I passed this here cabin.” He knocked on their door. “That told me I had to meet you.”
Maud refused to believe that there meeting had any ring of destiny. “You weren’t hungry?”
Cheese chuckled. “That too, but hey I could have taken other customers.”
Maud entered on ahead despite her best wasn’t able to hide her slight limp.
“Your hoof is hurting. You going to be okay there?”
“I’m fine.” Maud sat down letting the pressure off her hoof.
Cheese sat opposite of her. “Miss Maud, you do indeed have one doozy of a poker face. However, I can read you.”
“Do you?” She smiled inwardly, she was rock solid, and there was no way he could break inside.
“Yep, all colors have shades. By your tone, you’re smiling inside.” Cheese smiled looking into her blue eyes while hers locked onto his green. “Now you’re smiling on the outside too.”
Maud held her hoof to her mouth. She felt her lips, they were indeed curved upwards. She gasped. Again it was unintentional facial expression. What was happening to her? She bet it was that salad she ate. Something seriously was wrong. Did he cast a spell or something?
Cheese gently took her hoof. “Let’s see here. Ah, nothing serious. I made the same mistake cartwheeling once. We just popped this back here.”
Maud winced slightly when she felt her hoof ‘pop’. Afterwards she held it and examined it. The pain was gone.
“No heavy lifting for a several days now, Miss Maud.”
They sat for a moment of silence listening to the natural bump sounds as the train continued its course.
For all her introversion, though her mane was purple she wasn’t a shrinking violet. In matter of fact she associated such cowardice of character to be a weakness of will. Maud made always sure she let others know what she wanted; she wasn’t shy, but if it was nothing then she didn’t say. Again her pet pebble seated in the pocket by her heart spoke telling her to be ‘bolder’. Even at university with a whole nation of stallions, she never found one that could quite understand her rocky rhythm. Cheese understood and she felt she had been with him her whole life. In a form Cheese truly had been with her during her life, in that he was a dead ringer for her inspirational sister. Love could indeed move mountains and there was a spark here.
“I like you.”
Cheese’s smile slowly broke. “Miss Maud, you’re getting awful close. I like you too. I ought to set things straight things before they get out of hoof.”
Her head auto completed this conversation. The available responses did not seem favorable.
“You mentioned a sister named Pinkie Pie… I met her… in fact I styled my entire life to an extent on her life changing act. I mean look at my mane!” He laughed as he pointed to his hair that was similar to Pinkie’s. “She threw a party for me that changed my outlook… forever. I’ve been smiling and giving smiles ever since. That’s my dream.”
How could she have been so blind? His uncanny similarities to her sister’s persona were unmistakable. He was in love with… Pinkie? As the train chugged along she knew what lay at the end of rail line. Maud felt her heart shatter like brittle shale.
“I understand. You love, my sister Pinkie.”
Cheese smiled. “Of course! I love her.”
His enthusiasm drove that chisel spike harder into her heart. The fissure crack threatened to halve her personage. Destiny yet again was her enemy.
Cheese continued. “For all my shenanigans, I could never match her act. I love Pinkie’s natural ability. I can bring a smile for a while… but that will fade. I get tired… I don’t think I’d be a good for a relationship. I’m not stable. I’m not good with money. Let’s face it,” Cheese chuckled hollowly, “I’m a bit of a bum. Miss Maud, you can find a better stallion to call your own…”
Wait? He wasn’t romantically attracted to Pinkie? Instead Cheese was having self doubts? Maud thought a love triangle was impending, she’d read melodramatic romance novel with the same lead in. She sighed in relief.
Cheese misinterpreted her sigh as rejection and smiled sadly. “I’ll leave you now. It’s been incredible, Miss Maud.”
Maud put her hooves on his shoulders and pushed him back in his seat.
“Cheese, don’t go.”
Cheese blushed at her proximity and at her firm strength. “Miss Maud?”
She rubbed her muzzle gingerly against his. The talkative stallion was struck silent.
The shuffling of armor suits echoed through the train. Royal Guards either had lances mounted on their war saddles or sabers in their mouths. Captain Blueberry Frost directed the soldiers with her lance.
“Find them!” She growled. “They stole bucking stick!”
Her lieutenant corrected. “The scepter of light.”
“Find them! I want this train searched top to bottom!”
“Trains go sideways.”
Blueberry boiled with anger. She glared at her lieutenant Pegasus officer.
The lieutenant folded his wings over his eyes to hide from the Earth Pony’s gaze of death.
“Search every cabin! They ain’t gonna get away!”
A guard signaled them with his saber. “We found the cabin!”
The door to Maud’s cabin exploded off its hinges. Blueberry had bucked it open with a single hoof. She stepped through and directed her lance towards Cheese.
“You’re under arrest!”
Maud stepped protectively in front of Cheese. “State the charges.”
Blueberry chewed on her words. “For being a no good account jerk after I vouched for y’all and for stealing an artifact of vital national importance! You’re under arrest too, prude!”
Maud held her ground and braced her legs as she pushed Cheese back.
