Ponies settling on the western edge of the Crystal Empire have been disappearing and there are rumors of Changelings in the area. Shining Armor leads an investigation, with Cadence following right behind. Written in the form of a journal.
The following journal is the unofficial report detailing the military operation MCS3E0102, opened to the public at the discretion of Her Royal Council of Protection and Her Royal Council of Information. Sensitive information has been omitted in order to protect the Crystal Empire and her citizens.
Issued by Senior Librarian Agatha, approved by Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, on fourth day of February in the year of 1204.
Property of the Crystal Empire Library and Crystal Empire Archives. Return immediately if found.
The following journal is the unofficial report detailing the military operation MCS3E0102, opened to the public at the discretion of Her Royal Council of Protection and Her Royal Council of Information. Sensitive information has been omitted.
Issued by Senior Librarian Agatha, approved by Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, on fourth day of February in the year of 1204.
Property of the Crystal Empire Library and Crystal Empire Archives. Return immediately if found.
//
Author's Note:
Traditionally, during an op, the highest ranking officer will detail the events in a formally written report, which is then collected and cataloged in the uttermost classified section of the imperial archives, accessible only to the top brass and highest government officials. This writeup deals with sensitive and often restricted information, including official casualty statistics, interrogation methods and results, locations, and usage of experimental ordnance not yet known by the general public.
I have been told the official report makes a rather dull read.
The second in command is in charge of writing the unofficial report, which is opened to the public after being carefully edited and can be found in the military wing of the Crystal Empire Library. It's purpose has been to display a sense of government and military transparency and much more leeway is given to the writer. Personality is, quite surprisingly, encouraged, possibly to dispute the claims of guards being nothing more than emotionless brutes. If nothing else, the unofficial report serves as excellent advertisement for recruitment and makes a wonderful read if you're into history and tales of adventure.
Because Captain Ironhoof is not affiliated with the Crystal Empire, the responsibility of preparing the unofficial report falls on me, the third in command. Rarely does this task fall upon the shoulders of an officer ranked any lower than a first lieutenant and I can only hope that my abilities will be up to par. It is quite an honor and I will do my best to make this as informative and entertaining as possible.
Just don't expect me to say 'Dear Diary' or draw smiley faces in the margins.
*
04-FB-1204
We were briefed on the mission today. Several settlers of the recently established colonies in the west have mysteriously disappeared without any trace and there have been reported sightings of dark insectoid creatures in the area, similar to the ones that had attacked Canterlot during Her Majesty's wedding. Nothing has been confirmed, but the threat of invasion has placed Her Royal Council of Protection on high alert.
To avoid spreading panic nationwide, the number of military personnel involved in the operation was limited to three squads of four, a total of twelve guards. The mission is primarily reconnaissance, to either verify or debunk changeling presence near our borders. Rescue is, officially, a secondary objective, though knowing the Guard-Captain our priorities will change.
We will first investigate the western settlements with the reported missing ponies, then push into the tundra if more information is necessary before coming to a decision. We will then return to the Crystal Empire and submit our findings to the Council, which will then deem whether full-scale military action is needed.
Prince-Consort and Guard-Captain Shining Armor will be leading the operation. Considering his prior encounter with the changelings, I am surprised the Council approved his participation, but it is a happy surprise, and I am comforted knowing that the Guard-Captain will be with us.
We will be supported by a squad of guards from Canterlot, led by Captain Ironhoof. I do not know much about the stallion as I did not have much access to his record, but no doubt he is an impressive soldier. Accompanying him will be a pair of researchers, who we are told to be some of the leading experts on changeling behavior and can perform identification spells. They should be arriving within the week.
As I sat during the briefing, I could not help but notice that the princess seemed troubled. Her eyes never left Guard-Captain Shining Armor.
*
06-FB-1204
I met my squad today. Their names are a sensitive matter and cannot be revealed. I can, however, provide rank, personality, and physical description:
The corporal is of average stature, violet, and sparkles in the light. A native crystal pony, he is quiet stallion until the subject of his homeland is brought up, and then the problem becomes trying to shut him up. I have affectionately dubbed him 'Sparky'.
Below Sparky is PFC 'Tick', another crystal pony though his coat does not shine unless the magical ceremonial armor is worn. He's a little larger than both Sparky and I, a fact he has no problem rubbing in our faces. I call him Tick because his apparent lack of respect toward the chain of command really ticks me off. He claims to be joking, and Sparky vouches for him, as does his record. I will have to wait and see.
Finally we have PFC 'Private'. An unoriginal nickname, yes, but I felt it more appropriate than 'Kiss-ass'. A pegasus, like myself but a little leaner, Private is the textbook example of a teacher's pet; he was first to salute and last to put his hoof down. I entertained the thought of accusing him of insubordination for not being at ease when I gave the rest command, just to see how he would react. He has an impeccable performance record (always punctual, always organized, etc), but nothing too notable and his combat scores are barely above average.
We ran a few laps together before calling it a day. I gave each of them a condensed copy of the official briefing, told them to study it, then prepare for an inventory check tomorrow morning.
*
07-FB-1204
Everypony arrived on time and had studied the briefing, even Tick. I was quite pleased and was more than happy to answer what questions I could with what knowledge I had. Many of them, I believe, were less than satisfied with my answers.
Inventory went smoothly and the following is a list of the supplies we were assigned:
Guard Polearm (3) - standardized by the Crystal Empire for basic combat
Light Rations (4) - enough for a couple of days; will be replaced with Heavy Rations at the final checkpoint
Heavy Wool Cloak + Hood (4) - big enough to go over armor; a must when trudging through the Arctic
Snow Goggles (4 pairs) - supposedly, they keep the snow from getting into your eyes, I'm pretty sure they do nothing
Short Sword + Scabbard (1) - issued to yours truly; I'd much rather have a spear
As we would receive most of our supplies from the western settlements, we did not have much to pack. Resupplying at the final settlement will prove much more challenging. Might as well appreciate the ease while I can, I suppose.
Guard-Captain Shining Armor was here as well, along with the squad under his command. We exchanged greeting, salutes, jests and jabs, and went our own ways.
He took a moment to respond when I inquired about his wife, the princess. I had thought nothing of it at the time, my attention more focused on his own inquiries of my single status, but now that I have time to think I am afraid that I may have overstepped my bounds. I hope I have not offended him.
*
10-FB-1204
The support from Canterlot has been delayed due to weather conditions. The railway is currently under repairs. Nothing to do but to wait.
I went out earlier for a cool glass of nectar and met this lovely young mare, gleaming in the light of the moon. I approached her and offered to buy her a drink when her coltfriend returned from the restroom. What an embarrassment. I count myself fortunate that the stallion was so understanding.
I only wished he hadn't given me such a pitying look.
*
12-FB-1204
Having little else to do, I visited the library and borrowed a few examples of past unofficial reports. Some were barely a page long and others had multiple volumes, much of which had little to do with the actual operation. I found shopping lists, vulgar doodles, and poorly prosed poetry. One particular journal I discovered contained the poorly written retelling of a popular piece of literature, in which the author included himself simply in order to have the female lead fall for him.
I'm beginning to wonder whether if someone actually goes through and edits these reports before releasing them to the public. An experiment: the <EXPUNGED> can be found at <EXPUNGED> during <EXPUNGED>. Now all I have to do is wait for this to be published.
Thankfully, I found a few diamonds in the trough, which read kind of like adventure novels and were quite enjoyable. It's a pity the endings of some of them were ruined by dark stains that rendered the final pages completely illegible. I've convinced myself they are coffee stains.
*
14-FB-1204
The guards from Canterlot have arrived at last. Guard-Captain Shining Armor, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, and myself met the good captain at the palace. Captain Ironhoof is, without a doubt, the largest unicorn I've ever seen. He greeted us while in full armor and apologized for the delay. He made a joke of how unpredictable the weather could be, and I didn't have the heart or the courage to remind him about the pegasus weather teams.
I kept an eye on Guard-Captain Shining Armor, knowing that he was originally from Canterlot and had hoped to base my opinions on Ironhoof based on the Guard-Captain's reaction. He appeared indifferent, no, distracted, as if something was bothering him. Her Majesty was also staring at the Prince-Consort, her professional smile wavering from time to time.
I did not have time to contemplate Her Majesty and the Prince-Consort's unusual behavior, as I was soon introduced to the two researchers who would be accompanying us and would require our protection. Again, I cannot provide their real names as the anonymity of civilian personnel must be maintained.
'Professor' was your stereotypical university professor, right down to the tweed jacket and thick rimmed glasses. He was a brown unicorn and spoke with a posh accent and a vast vocabulary. I'm not sure what he said to me as we shook hooves, but based on the smirk he wore, I'm willing to bet it wasn't very nice.
The other unicorn was young mare, perhaps a couple of years younger than I. She was a sleek dark violet and had a short light purple mane, with streaks of red and gold running down it. Her tail was the same color, though unlike her mane she had kept it long. Her cutie mark was a <EXPUNGED>, a symbol of an intellectual, on the body of a model, with well-toned flanks and a coat so smooth it shined. Her hair shimmered in the sunlight, brighter than any crystal. Her eyes were green, like jade and when she finally smiled she flashed teeth as white as milk pearls. Hearing her voice was like listening the song of chimes, musical and bright.
The mission has once again been delayed. The insufferable Professor claims to be too exhausted for the trip and must recuperate. Nopony is happy, but there is little we can do.
There is some silver lining to be found, however. While waiting for Professor to regain his strength, the rest of us have been productive. Shimmer has provided us all a brief but extensive and informative lesson on changelings, namely on how to identify those disguised as ponies. According to her, while changelings are cunning and their disguises are impressive, they lack creativity and can only mimic the form of ponies they have seen. Additionally, most changelings, while in disguise, can only repeat words and phrases they've heard the original say, thus limiting their capability of speech. Shimmer also debunked the rumors of changelings being able to steal the memories of the ponies they mimic. After seeing the way she looked at him afterward, I'm glad it was Sparky who asked about that instead of me.
Princess Mi Amore Cadenza was also there and asked almost as many questions as her husband. I suppose there is nothing wrong with a little curiosity but an entire notebook full of notes for a single, one hour lecture seems a little excessive.
I had hoped to catch Shimmer alone after the lesson, to run by the idea of using pass codes for identification while perhaps inviting her for some crystal corn on the cob for lunch, but she soon occupied herself with teaching the few unicorn guards present spell which would allow us to distinguish pony from changeling. I decided to stay behind and watch, though I understood absolutely nothing. All I could tell was that the spell was extremely complicated as even Guard-Captain Shining Armor struggled with it at first.
Her Majesty was the first pupil to master the magic. Considering her natural abilities, I should not have been surprised but I was. Perhaps I had just thought it unusually that the princess had even bothered learning the spell. But, as I said before, there's nothing wrong with a little curiosity.
A theory: learning about the changeling might be a sort of coping mechanism for the princess. I suspect the memory of being kidnapped and imprisoned by these creatures has yet to fade, and this second threat worries Her Majesty at a personal level far more than she allows it to appear.
On the related note of curiosity, I have learned that Shimmer detests corn, especially on the cob.
*
19-FB-1204
If anypony has been paying attention to the dates of these entries you may note of a three day gap between this writing and the last one. The truth of the matter is that I get motion sickness if I try to read or write while on a moving transport. It is no coincidence it is a three day train ride from the capital of the Crystal Empire to <EXPUNGED>. Thus, to avoid any appearance of nausea in front of my squad, I've neglected in my recording.
Not that there was much time to write. Much to my surprise, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza was traveling with us. According to the Guard-Captain, she was to accompany us only as far as <EXPUNGED>, where she would remain to boost morale among the fearful colonists. Guard-Captain Shining Armor seemed to place a heavy amount of emphasis on the word 'only', to which Her Majesty responded with a terrifying glare at his direction. As such, with a princess in tow, our responsibilities grew much larger and a good portion of my time was split between assigning guard shifts around the princess's private compartment and guarding her myself.
Now that I think about it, it seems like a waste of effort, really. Guard-Captain Shining Armor was by Her Majesty's entire side the whole time and I know he would sooner leave the realm of the living than have a single hair on Her Majesty's head harmed.
The two seem to be arguing about something. I didn't hear what but a lot of shouting could be heard from Her Majesty's private compartment, often followed by a time of silence. I do not know what to make of it. Captain Ironhoof has made several lewd and suggestive jests regarding the sudden silence and is unfortunately very willing to share the stories of his own experiences. He is divorced, and I can't say I'm too surprised.
Very little happened on the train ride and so, many idle guards turned to gossip. I blame Captain Ironhoof if the paparazzi publishes anything along the lines of the princess and her prince-consort having make-up sex on public transportation. I very well couldn't order anypony to run laps but I had secretly hoped for some engine malfunction, forcing us to pull the train ourselves. We could have all used the exercise, I'm sure.
To make matters worse, Professor had brought with him a deck of cards, which made keeping discipline even more difficult. I found Tick playing old maid with Professor and one of the Canterlot guards on the third day. I'm almost positive Tick rigged the game; there's no way I could have ended up with the queen of clubs every freaking time.
Each day, like a gentleman, I would go up to the service compartment, prepare a cup of fresh coffee, and offer it Shimmer. On the first day, she gave it back, saying she could not drink it with sugar. On the second day, she returned the cup without taking a sip, telling me that she did not take her coffee with cream. On the third and final day, she politely declined, saying that she preferred tea to coffee. At least she enjoyed the donuts.
Anyways, today we've arrived and have settled into a hotel. Tomorrow we begin the investigation. I'm too tired to make any notes on the town itself right now. Maybe tomorrow.
*
20-FB-1204
<EXPUNGED> is one of the more recent western settlements. It has all the necessities of a small town and a solid local government and as one of the first colonies to harness the natural orichalcum ore deposits nearby, it has the potential to becoming one of the richest and grandest cities of the Crystal Empire, rivaling even perhaps Equestria's Manehattan.
Or, at least, it had the potential. The recent kidnappings have seemed to halt development completely. Few ponies, besides armed members of the municipal militia, can be found outdoors. Almost all the stores are closed and boarded up, their owners either among the missing or left the colony to safer towns. The partially built structures abandoned in the middle of construction gives the entire town an eerie sense of decay and hopelessness. Most obvious is the cinema that stands right next to the hotel that serves as our temporary headquarters. Beams of wood stick out of the glass, like broken bones stabbing through skin. Having a room with a window and a view has never been more depressing.
Investigation began today, early in the morning. Guard-Captain Shining Armor and his team escorted Princess Mi Amore Cadenza as she met the governor and her council. Ironhoof and his squad took Professor and looked for clues around the last rumored sighting of a changeling. Meanwhile, my team were to protect Shimmer as we questioned the chief of the militia and went over what information they had acquired from the kidnappings. The plan was to later meet up with Ironhoof and then check around the places where the missing settlers were last accounted for.
We could not determine any pattern based on the profiles of the missing ponies. It was a varied mix of stallions, mares, colts, and fillies of every color and every age. Even a few militia members were taken. Shimmer brought up a very good point, noting that every pony that had disappeared had at least one relative, be it parent, spouse, or offspring. Considering the changeling abilities and limitations, this implies that, if there really is a changeling presence, they've been here long enough to gather data to create convincing disguises.
Beyond that, we've learned nothing useful. There's nothing that suggests without a doubt that changeling are indeed responsible for the recent disappearances, nor, equally important, where the missing ponies could have possibly gone. We have very little solid evidence that the disappearances are even connected.
I had hoped that scouring the locations where the ponies were last seen would be more fruitful but we had to postpone our investigation to tomorrow on Professor's account. According to him, today's activities had left him enervated and he required an interlude of relief. I'm pretty sure he was just tired.
Guard-Captain Shining Armor was, understandably, very unhappy with our progress. Ironhoof's efforts yielded as much useful information as mine. We had absolutely no data to either confirm or disconfirm hostile changeling presence in the Crystal Empire, nor did we have any idea where to look. We're all hoping to find something, anything, any clue or lead, tomorrow at the last known locations of the missing ponies. We will have a lot of ground to cover in the morning so, with permission from the Guard-Captain, I sent my guards to an early bed after a light supper. I felt they deserved the break and I took it upon myself to escort Shimmer, who had decided to take a short walk through the hotel.
Seeing as we were both on edge, I tried lightening the mood by mentioning the weather and how much cooler the air was here in the west than at the capital. Shimmer apologized and said she hadn't noticed. I explained that most non-pegasus didn't, since the weather normally went over their heads.
She has a musical laugh. I wish it lasted longer.
It was getting late so we returned to our room. To maximize security, each squad would sleep in the same room as the one they were protecting; Guard-Captain Shining Armor and his guards with Her Majesty, Ironhoof with Professor, and I with Shimmer. As we approached the door I suddenly realized the dangerous implications. And though she hides it well, I'm sure she has considered them too, and the thought of sleeping in such proximity with so many stallions must be nerve-racking.
I wanted to set aside any and all of the young mare's anxieties and was prepared to assure her of my squad-mates' discipline and professionalism, but I was interrupted by the sudden opening of the door to the princess's quarters. Out stepped a very nervous looking Professor. He quickly wiped his brow with a handkerchief, apologized, and hurried to his own room. Guard-Captain Shining Armor stepped out a moment later, wearing a rather smug grin. He had a quick talk with the old intellect, he told us, and expected no more delays. Then, wishing us a good night, he shut the door.
At this point I must admit I lost my nerve, and just as Shimmer was about to open the door I blurted out that if she was uncomfortable, we guards could sleep just outside of the room.
Which is the reason why I am currently writing this entry on the balcony, exposed to the elements and the cold Crystal Empire evening. The others were not happy with this decision but at least Sparky and Tick got carpet to lay on as they protected the door entrance while Private and I defended the window.
I can't wait for my shift to end. Private kicks in his sleep.
*
21-FB-1204
So, apparently I snore. Private's a trooper, I'll give him that.
As a unit, we waited for Shimmer to freshen up and headed down for breakfast. We arrived about the same time Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and her escort. Her guards, with the exception of the Guard-Captain who appeared more relaxed than he ever did since the beginning of the assignment, all seemed a tad nervous and, for some odd reason, would not, or could not, look at Her Majesty or at the Guard-Captain.
Perhaps as equally strange was the behavior of the princess and her husband during breakfast. When she felt certain that nopony was looking, she'd give the Guard-Captain a quick kiss, which Guard-Captain Shining Armor would swiftly return. I must have been staring because Her Majesty began to stare back, and I quickly lowered my head to hide my blush as I ate my oatmeal.
During the short meal I had the opportunity to ask Shimmer if she had slept well. She said she did, though there had been some noise next door, from Her Highness's room. Odd but the princess seemed safe. Seemed.
Well, any worries I had were put to rest after each of us was subjected to the identification spell and a brief questioning and was asked to recite the pass code. Princess Mi Amore Cadenza was indeed Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, and I was almost killed for pointing a blade at Her Majesty. I'm glad the princess was so forgiving and that Guard-Captain Shining Armor mistook my paranoia and panic for vigilance.
We're about to continue the investigation now. I'll report the findings during my lunch break.
-
Lunch consisted of a small cream cheese and tomato sandwich. Could have used a little avocado.
Again, our search provides no proof of Changeling infiltration. The locations that served potential scenes of the crime were, like the identities of the missing ponies themselves, seemingly random and without purpose. The front of the school, the entrance of a cafe, just outside the hotel, in the back alley next to the militia barracks, it seemed that every sort of pony disappeared at every sort of location.
Changeling abductors would explain the situation, but nothing demonstrates their actual existence. We're getting nowhere fast, and it doesn't help that militia members continually get in our way. I understand they want to help, but telling us what they'd do if they ever got their hooves on the kidnappers, whatever they were, does not help. I couldn't bring myself to make them leave so I got Private to do it for me. I wonder if either Ironhoof or Guard-Captain Shining Armor are having better luck than my team. I hope so.
I'm going to take a walk to clear my head. Shimmer wants to see the militia chief to see if she could go over the profiles one more time. Maybe she'll find some sort of connection between the kidnapped ponies and the supposed locations of the kidnappings we can't. While I'm there I'll ask the chief if he could keep his guards from interfering.
-
Some ponies believe in a higher power, beyond that of the celestial sisters, one who reigns and rules over our very destinies and over fate itself. I'm not entire sure how I feel about that idea but if that all-powerful and all-knowing being does exists, then thank you.
The militia headquarters was close by so there wasn't much opportunity for conversation. She did ask me if all the structures in the Crystal Empire were built with crystals. I answered yes, most of them, though I explained that many traditional buildings were created and carved straight out of growing crystals and stones and there was the occasional Equestrian outpost made of their usual fare of plaster and wood.
The barracks were dark and quiet when we arrived. I had thought that perhaps the chief had left for a late meal. Shimmer argued that would not explain the lack of militia or why the lights were out. Then again, most of the militia members were trying to help us in the investigation.
Shimmer went ahead, saying that the chief probably wouldn't mind if they looked around. She headed straight to the chief's office, where we had seen the profiles yesterday. I started to follow but something crinkled beneath my hoof. My broken reflection stared back at me as I looked down. Looking back up, I saw that one of the glass panels for one of the other offices was broken.
I nearly dropped my sword as I heard the scream, a mare's scream. Without a second thought I rushed toward the militia chief's office and flung the door open.
Crouched right above Shimmer was a dark equine shaped creature, barely visible in the dark. To the side sat the chief's motionless body. The creature bared sharp deadly fangs as it snarled at me when I entered and flared the semitransparent wings on its back that buzzed threateningly. It glowered with dull, glass-like eyes that seemed to glow demonically.
Realizing that it had been distracted by my arrival, Shimmer threw her weight up and forward, knocking the creature back into the bookcase standing behind them. As I hurried to her side, a glass paperweight that had been sitting on the edge of the bookcase fell and shattered against the intruder's horned head. We watched the thing sway and stumble before collapsing.
Shimmer and Professor confirmed that what we knocked out was most definitely a changeling. It currently rests in a barrack cell, with four guards inside with it and four guards stationed at the entrance. We now have evidence of changeling activity but not of the extent, nor the location or condition of the missing ponies. Guard-Captain Shining Armor and Ironhoof will begin interrogating our captive later tonight, as soon as it has woken up.
The Guard-Captain and Her Majesty had another argument. I do not know what it was about nor do I dare ask, but Guard-Captain Shining Armor left the princess's room very cross and order me to spare some guards and make sure Her Majesty did not leave the safety of her room. I think Princess Mi Amore Cadenza heard him because I believe I heard something crash against the other side of the door.
While Professor was extremely excited to see a living specimen and spent his time in the barracks, waiting eagerly for the interrogation to begin, Shimmer refused to go near the cell holding the changelimg, and she shivered at the very mention of it.
The hotel kitchen has an old shaved ice machine, and we found some syrup. She prefers ice cream, she told with a small smile. At least she stopped shivering.
We talked as we ate the frozen treats. I learned more about her home, Canterlot, and she learned more about mine. I told her of the best shaved ice anypony could ever find in the world, she told me about a donut shop I had to see if I ever did visit. She told me how beautiful the sunset was as the sun disappeared behind the mountain and how gorgeous the night skies were, I tried to describe the amazing aurora we were graced every winter solace. I told her about the Crystal Fair and all the decorations and the crystal ewes, and she spoke of the royal wedding in Canterlot. She became quiet shortly after.
Seeing her discomfort, I did not pursue the topic but Shimmer just shook her head and sighed. She explained that it was a close encounter with the invaders that day that led to her fascination and her research, but it was also a very frightening experience and today, well, today just brought out a few bad memories.
I wish I could have said something, anything really. Maybe place a hoof on her shoulder, tell her it was alright, I don't know. She found her voice before I found mine, and what she said left me searching for it again:
"You know, when this is all over, I wouldn't mind visiting here again, for a vacation. The Crystal Empire's a nice place. You'll have to show me that aurora next time, okay? I'm holding you to it."
Then she left, leaving me with my mouth stupidly hanging open. She has an amazing smile.
I can see the end of our mission at last. With a prisoner in our possession, it's only a matter of time before we learn just how many changelings we'll be dealing with and where the rest of the vermin are, then this reconnaissance mission becomes a rescue. We've encountered a few bumps along the way but the royal guard always stands strong. Every day I spend with my fellow soldiers I learn something. From every operation, be it successful or not, there's always something to take away.
This time, I have learned to never be discouraged. Even when the chips are down and things look bleak, stand strong and move forward, and never be afraid to hope. We began this mission with delays and dead ends but in the end w-
I apologize for the abrupt end in the last entry and for missing a day. The events that followed came by so fast, I'm still having some trouble processing it all.
On the night of my last entry, while I was in middle of recording, one of Ironhoof's subordinates had rushed over and called for our immediate assistance. I explained to the panicking stallion that I was under orders to protect the princess. That delay may have cost many lives, and that guilt weighs heavily upon me, like an anchor tied to a pony lost at sea.
That night, as we celebrated our lucky capture, the town was attacked. The creature had somehow communicated with its brethren, which organized an escape. The number of changelings that had attacked the barracks is uncertain, with reports ranging from ten to a few hundred.
They had rushed into the barracks, biting and screeching and hitting their way to the cell where we were holding our captive. The guards that had survived explained that the darkness made it impossible to distinguish between friend or foe, and in the confusion and chaos, they were overwhelmed.
Two members of the militia positioned at the cell entrance suffered from broken bones and other serious injuries. One of Guard-Captain Shining Armor's lieutenants who had volunteered to assist them was rushed to the hospital, requiring extensive care. What the doctors could do there was limited, and he was immediately shipped to the nearby city by train..
The inside of the cell was an outright massacre. None of the four guards stationed with the captive were alive when I arrived. PFC 'Private', always eager to serve, was one of the them, but there was little time for grief.
Guard-Captain Shining Armor was silent as he identified the bodies and recorded the official causalities. He sent Ironhoof and his soldiers to prepare our gear and sent me back to the hotel to check on the princess. As I left the barracks, I almost tripped over Professor. He simply sat there, rocking himself gently and cleaning blood off the broken lens of his spectacles.
Before the hour had ended, we received new orders from the Guard-Captain: pursue the changeling and track them down to their base of operations. Rations were distributed and we brought out the snow gear. In addition to the Guard-Captain's lieutenant and an injured sergeant under Ironhoof, Professor would be left behind. For perhaps the first time since this affair began, I agreed that the poor old pony was in no condition to be traveling.
Guard-Captain Shining Armor extended this relieve of duty to Shimmer, telling her that the mission had grown far more dangerous than they had predicted. I wish she had accepted, but instead she simply looked the Guard-Captain in the eye and reminded him that, with Professor out of action, she was the most qualified unicorn to perform the identification spell.
She's right, we need her. We're about to try and chase after some of the most dangerous and mysterious beings seen in Equestria, creatures whose weapons include shadows and the ignorance of their enemies. Her knowledge is more useful than our blades and our armor, vital for the success of the mission. Her life is vital.
Princess Mi Amore Cadenza wished to join us but the Guard-Captain stood firm. He refused to acknowledge her pleads. Even when Her Majesty grew passionate and her cries became angry shouts, Guard-Captain Shining Armor simply shouldered his pack, pushed her aside, and walked away. The rest of us quickly followed. I've never seen the princess lose control like that.
Ironhoof wondered if leaving Her Majesty behind was a good idea. He noted of her magical abilities and how powerful of an asset she could be. There is some wisdom in the captain's words but I have to agree with the Guard-Captain; as a princess, she's too important to risk losing. If she was lost, the entire nation could collapse. The princess not only a leader, but also a symbol for the Crystal Empire, the living embodiment of the Crystal Heart itself. Who knows if the Crystal Empire could survive if she did not.
"She's too valuable," Guard-Captain Shining Armor had said. And that was the last word.
We've been marching through the tundra ever since, breaking only trice for a short meal and rest. I worry about Shimmer. She isn't used to this sort of exercise but she hides her weariness well. She was very grateful, however, when I offered to carry her supplies for a distance and even gave me a small tired smile.
We are fortunate the spring blizzard season hasn't begun yet. The wind still chills us to the bones, even with our heavy coats on, but it is manageable, and at least there's decent visibility. The lack of recent snowfall has made tracking easier, and the prints of the fleeing changelings haven't been too difficult to find. Shimmer has tried to reason why they'd bother walking instead of flying in order to throw off pursuers, but she has yet to decide on a satisfactory theory. It also seems rather foolish on their part to stay together instead of splitting into smaller groups, as indicated by the prints. Perhaps we've overestimated changeling intelligence, and these creatures were actually nothing more than marauding herd animals.
We will be heading off soon, and I know I better get some sleep before we do, but right now I'm a little nervous. I wonder if Shimmer knows she clings to things in her sleep. It's adorable, but it makes writing this entry a bit of a challenge.
*
23-FB-1204
It's been awhile since I've actually flown in the open sky. My job doesn't present too many chances like this, and I would grateful for the opportunity if it weren't for the circumstances.
The tracks gave us direction but told us nothing of distance. It would be useful to know just how far the changelings were and how much further we had left. As the only pegasus, it became my duty to scout ahead, using the cover of the clouds, and return to the rest of the unit with as much information as I could gather.
It seemed like a solid plan, one I applauded Sparky for coming up with, but I've overestimated myself. Something about the western Arctic air makes it difficult to breath at high altitudes but I need to be at those high altitudes if I want a decent vantage point. The clouds are thinner as well, so I can't rely on them as resting posts if I get tired. And if an unpredicted storm kicks up, well, I don't have a chance. I'm beginning to feel for the first pegasi that settled in Equestria, as they battle through that legendary blizzard. It's not even snowing and I'm having difficulties, what a laugh.
Well, in the end, I got used to the lack of oxygen and the less-than-optimal conditions but soon faced a new problem. At my height, there was little chance of me being spotted by the enemy but at the same time, I could barely see anything below me. You'd think finding a cluster of black on a canvas of white would be easy but all I could see was snow, snow, and more snow. Maybe if I had a spyglass, I could determine the location of the changelings, but right now I had trouble even finding our camp.
I dreaded my return back, but the Guard-Captain understood the difficulties I faced and did his best not to appear disappointed. I wish I had better news to bring, something to cheer everypony up. To make matters worse, the Guard-Captain had set aside extra rations for me, saying that I needed the additional energy as the flyer. Nopony was willing to share that extra portion with me, and each bite leaves me feeling emptier than before. I've done nothing to deserve this special treatment.
I'll try again tomorrow, at a lower altitude. I'll risk being seen by the enemy, but if we're going to achieve anything, it's a necessary risk I need to take.
*
24-FB-1204
Been flying since morning. Found an emptied ditch about a mile ahead. The disturbed snow suggests a possible campsite, possibly by the changelings. Not sure.
Taking shelter tonight next to the remains of a dead tree. Lost a tinderbox. Too tired to write more.
*
25-FB-1204
We found signs of changelings. We came across a few bodies buried next to a fire pit filled with ashes. The cold preserved the corpses, which made it difficult to determine the time of death, but we eventually concluded they couldn't have dead longer than a day, likely less. Cause of death was likely either exhaustion or hypothermia, due to the lack of visible wounds, but without a proper autopsy we couldn't be sure entirely.
We considered sending the bodies back to be studied, but both Captain Ironhoof and Guard-Captain Shining Armor agreed that we couldn't afford to decrease our number any lower than it already is. It was a waste of energy and of research resources, and no doubt Professor would be disappointed, but before we left, we reburied the bodies. Maybe on our way back we can retrieve them.
Apparently changeling bodies decay quite rapidly when exposed to air, which makes it difficult for researchers like Shimmer to gather information on their anatomy. If that's the case, I wonder why these changelings buried the dead ones when letting the cadavers decay would make our pursuit more difficult. It's possible that it was a sign of respect to their fallen comrades or that the changelings are not yet aware that they are being trailed. I sure hope it's the latter.
We lost another tinderbox, plus a pack of matches got wet. If worst comes to worst, we can rely on unicorn magic for fire starting, but our fuel is still limited. Tomorrow, we will spare a moment to take inventory. Tonight, however, there will be no fire and we must bundle tightly together in order to conserve heat.
Shimmer has set her sleeping bag next to mine. I'm already feeling warmer. Definitely redder.
*
26-FB-1204
Well, in our haste it seems we've under-packed. We've got enough rations to last us for a little under a month, if stretched, but only enough fire starting materials for another week. A fire isn't always necessary, as demonstrated by last night, but it's luxury we're bound to miss. It'll be a hit to morale, at the very least.
Perhaps more disturbing is the lack of tents. We hadn't had much need for those canvas shelters so far, but if the weather suddenly changes and it starts snowing again, we run the risk of becoming sick or, worst case scenario, freezing to death.
Guard-Captain Shining Armor and Captain Ironhoof debating on whether it would be wiser to retreat for more supplies and reinforcements, but we might lose our trail if we do so.
I went on another scouting flight and found another campsite ahead of us, this time less than a mile away. There weren't any graves but plenty of tracks. The changelings were here, there's no doubt.
On a more personal note, I am running low on ink and quills. There is nothing I can do to replenish my ink supply, I can't spare any of my feather to use as substitute pens. Pegasus feathers do not make very good quills anyways. In order to conserve my diminishing writing supplies, my reports will become less frequent and more concise.
*
27-FB-1204
Nothing notable. No fire tonight.
*
02-MR-1204
Expanded scouting radius by twenty five meters. Nothing discovered.
*
04-MR-1204
Expanded scouting radius by fifty meters. Another abandoned campsite discovered. Buried bodies confirm changeling activity. Proximity unknown, estimated a couple of days ahead.
*
05-MR-1204
Tick developed a cough and took some medicine.
No new discoveries.
*
07-MR-1204
Tick is better.
Another abandoned camp found, no bodies.
Thought I saw a changeling, just a stump.
*
08-MR-1204
Well, it turns out Shimmer has a whole bunch of extra ink and pens on her, and she was more than willing to share after discovering I was keeping a journal. I was a little reluctant in accepting, since I was sure her research would require those supplies more than I did, but when I brought that up in my protest, she giggled and told me that she hadn't written a single note since she arrived at the Crystal Empire. Most of the recorded research was taken care of by Professor, she explained.
In return, I would write down any revolutionary discoveries we come across on changelings on her behalf. A fair trade, I suppose, though it feels like I've just been coerced into doing somepony's homework for them. The way Shimmer puts it is a little nicer; she calls me her guardian scribe, a guard and a scribe. Funny, it feels like a promotion.
Ironhoof reprimanded us for laughing so loudly. Understandable, considering our mission, but getting triple guard shift as punishment seems a little excessive. I was shivering, and my teeth were chattering by the time I got back to my sleeping bag. She kept it warm.
There are more clouds out tonight. I'll have more cover when I'm scouting tomorrow but I'm worried about the lack of moonlight. These reports are going to be harder to finish if I can't find an alternative light source. My penmanship is pretty dismal as it is.
*
05-MR-1204
The clouds are getting thicker. They can almost hold my weight now, and that's worrying. If it starts snowing now we'll lose the trail, and the changelings will escape.
It's a race against time but on the bright side, we seem to be getting closer. The latest campsite we found still had the smoking remains of a fire. Optimism runs high in the group, even as the threat of stormy weather literally hangs over our heads.
With the possibility of a confrontation at its highest, Guard-Captain Shining Armor and Captain Ironhoof have been preparing battle plans. Details are still a bit sketchy since our intelligence on our quarry has been limited. If only I could find those changelings and spy on them properly.
Shimmer has gotten curious about my reports. I think she wants to give them a read, but if she asks I'm afraid I'll have to turn her down. This journal isn't ready for public viewing yet, and I hope she understands if I have to explain.
The moon's gone tonight, leaving me with only the light of the stars. It's getting pretty late as it is, so that's enough for tonight. I really shouldn't keep writing these entries so late, it can't be good for my eyes. My vision's a little blurry right now, and I think I'm beginning to see things.
I wasn't the only pony to notice smoke trailing up into the sky last night. The guards on duty, who were much more attentive at the time than I, alerted the Guard-Captain immediately, and we were on the move again within the hour. We just stopped for a short break and to take a bite to eat.
Guard-Captain Shining Armor and Captain Ironhoof are discussing battle plans again, only this time they're also considering a possible attack from behind. If the smoke we saw last night was from a camp of a changeling splinter group, that would mean that our adversary is aware of our presence and is likely waiting ahead of us with an ambush prepared. If we were to engage the main group, the splinter group could attack us from behind, throwing us into a chaotic battle on two fronts. It doesn't take a strategic genius to recognize an opportune pincer movement as obvious as this.
Alternatively, it is very possible that our stalkers are reinforcements sent by Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, along with additional supplies. We could definitely use the support, but the positivity we've all been emitting nights before has disappeared, like dew evaporating and leaving behind a fog of pessimism.
I offered to fly out and see if I could confirm who was following us. The two commanding officers are currently considering the idea.
Time to get moving, will write later.
*
I came back after a two hour flight with a report. I managed to find what I believe to be the source of the smoke that caused so much panic. It was from a crude, unprofessionally made campfire, which pretty much rules out the possibility of additional horsepower. The campsite itself was small and there weren't too many clues, but the lack of prints suggest either a very small group or a squad of flyers. I didn't encounter any other flying creatures during my trip, bird, beast, or changeling, but that could mean numerous things. Perhaps whatever are chasing us are very stealthy flyers, or maybe they're just really slow, and I missed them on my way, or maybe I'm just really unobservant.
Sparky's calling me over. We're having a meeting right now.
*
After a good half hour of deliberation, we have decided on a course of action.
Continuing our pursuit of the fleeing changelings is foolish if we're being chased by the enemy as well. An attack from behind would likely prove fatal for the entire party. Instead, we will focus our energy on engaging our pursuers. While the number of changelings we would face if we encountered the main enemy group is unknown, we at least have some inkling of the size of the group behind us. Based on the size of the camp found earlier, the number of hunters isn't large, no bigger than your basic squad of four. We can take them.
There was some debate on whether it was wise to simply let the larger main group go free. We'd lose the opportunity find the core changeling headquarters, but on the other hoof focusing our energies on the changelings behind us presents the possibility of capturing another changeling, and we can always try pulling that information from that prisoner.
For the time being, I will continue monitoring the activities of both groups, but more focus will be placed on the group behind us in order to determine their path and the best position for an ambush. I've got a busy day tomorrow, better get some sleep.
*
07-MR-1204
I had to cut reconnaissance short today. I must've slept on my wing funny last night, because I had a little trouble taking off and staying airborne. There wasn't much to report, besides another depressing weather update. The clouds have become thicker and heavier than ever and at a faster rate than I had assumed. Weather in the Arctic just isn't natural, so unpredictable. I wish I could have done more, but we'd need an entire army of pegasi to contain the upcoming blizzard. I'd say we have maybe a week before it hits at full strength.
Lunch break's over, I'll write again before bed.
*
No stars or moonlight tonight. Can't even tell if this is legible. Guess I'll turn in early tonight.
*
08-MR-1204
We awoke today not by the usual rays of the sun. The clouds have hidden them away and have become so thick I've had trouble getting through them. My vision was limited, and I had to spend almost an entire hour kicking away clouds before I could continue scouting.
That hour and energy proved well spent, however, as it was during my little chore that I noticed another camp, only this time occupied. It was difficult to make out details, but we do know now that our pursuer(s? I only saw one figure) are indeed equine in structure and, rather oddly, larger than the average pony. A different breed of changeling perhaps? Shimmer says that she's never heard of separate breeds, considering how the ability to transform and immediately alter one's structure would negate the need for specialization. She admits that the idea is possible and would make a wonderful thesis topic.
*
Shimmer's Notes, for future reference:
- Specialized changeling types? To be explored. Hopeful for live capture of potential specimen, dubbed 'Specimen C*I'. Will advise extra caution when dealing with Specimen C*I.
- Potential reasons for specialization
+ For varying jobs - unlikely, task of infiltration seems universal among changelings, rely mainly on disguises anyways, specific for direct combat? Possible
+ Random chance mutation - not enough info on genetic makeup to explore hypothesis
+ Shape based on differing diets - not enough info on physiology to expand
+ Designation of rank - the invasion of Canterlot saw changelings with bluer skin and with more layers, similar in
appearance to crude armor, also consider unique appearance of the q-
*
Shimmer's been with the Guard-Captain and Captain Ironhoof for sometime. I wonder what was so urgent? Just my luck, she spilled ink all over my coat's, and I have no means to clean it. Speaking of which, I think I'm beginning to reek. This mission has taken a far greater toil on me than I'm comfortable admitting.
Break's over, here's hoping there's a moon tonight.
*
A heavy atmosphere rests on our camp. We ate our meals in silence and went to bed in silence. No jests from Tick about my little 'diary' or trivia about the tundra from Sparky tonight. Nopony feels like talking.
Guard-Captain Shining Armor called for a meeting before dinner. At his side sat Shimmer, who seemed to be finding more interest in the snowy ground than our eyes. The Guard-Captain opened by telling us Shimmer had made some "very interesting" observations. Those chosen words may have had a hint of humor in them but the way he spoke them sent a chill down my spine. The word 'interesting' has never filled me with more apprehension.
Guard-Captain Shining Armor nodded to Captain Ironhoof, who continued with a quick recap of the prior events, specifically the planned ambush as defense for the upcoming attack from behind and the blizzard threatening above. He then went through a few additional details for the preemptive strike and the ambushing spot, which would be at a small crag of a buried hill. The higher ground would provided some leverage for our unicorn guards acting as improv snipers.
At this point we were all becoming impatient, and PFC Tick became our collective voice by raising his hoof and asking about the "very interesting" observations. As much as I agreed with the sentiment behind Tick's rudeness, I still had to jump in to reprimand him.
Surprisingly, Captain Ironhoof was not offended, and merely turned to Shimmer. With great reluctance, she looked back at him, then took a deep breath and began to speak.
"There is a strong likelihood that the group behind us consists of the changeling queen."
If we thought the tundra was cold before, it was nothing compared to the frost that came with Shimmer's declaration. The stories of the changeling queen and her near conquest of Canterlot are well known, even as far as the Crystal Empire. We had all heard about the strange slender being that defeat Princess Celestia in combat, but they had just been stories to entertain and thrill. In our eyes, I suppose Chrysalis felt like nothing more than a myth or a legend.
Now, when the odds of actually facing such a monster are so high, she has never seemed more real. Or more frightening.
Murmurs broke out among us, much of which was discouraging. Like the dying embers of a campfire exposed to the wind, the last bits of hope we had were being snuffed out. The Guard-Captain grew angry and called for order. Not one of us could meet his glare as his burning eyes swept over us. He questioned our abilities, our honor, our resolve, asking us whether we were truly guards of Equestria and of ponykind if we couldn't even bring ourselves to fight an opponent stronger than us. If honor and duty weren't important enough to us, what about our lives? Whether we fought or not, whether we prepared for the ambush or not, Chrysalis would still personally attack our rear. Death was inevitable if we did not try to fight, he said to us all before adjourning the meeting.
Guard-Captain Shining Armor is an excellent guard and a great tactician and leader, but there's a reason why his wife writes all his addresses and speeches. Morale is at an all-time low. As a guard I cannot say I am afraid of death. I will say, however, that I do not want to die.
*
09-MR-1204
Today's flight is just to the established ambush point. I'm just to scout ahead to make sure the path is clear.
The weight of depression is still strong among us but especially noticeable on Shimmer. Poor mare, this isn't something any civilian should have to face. I hope I can find time to talk to her. I don't know if I can muster any encouragement, but I've got to try at the very least.
*
Shimmer's been avoiding me all lunch break, I'll try again before bedtime.
We've made good progress already and should arrive at the crag in a couple of hours. Nothing else to report.
*
Preparations for battle are currently underway. A few makeshift trenches and ditches were dug haphazardly, more to hinder movement than to provide cover. If it starts snowing, there won't be much point in them.
Captain Ironhoof and his guards are stationed on top of the crag and are stocked with a small supply of sticks and stones. They're not much, but in the magical grasps of an experienced unicorn such riffraff can become deadly missiles. I just hope their aim is decent.
The Guard-Captain will be joining the rest of us down on the battlefield. Strategically, it would be wiser for him to be with the other unicorns and assist from the higher vantage point. Then again, if we're really only dealing with a single enemy, I'm not entirely certain how effective a sniping team will be. It will depend on whether our opponent strikes from above or charges forward. Whatever Shining Armor's rationale is, none of us seem willing to question his decision. Honestly, I'm sure many of the guards are relieved to know the Guard-Captain will be fighting along sides them.
As the sole pegasus, I have given the very unique role of being bait. Okay, maybe that's oversimplified. Thing is, if Chrysalis does fly into her attack, she'll likely try to take out any opposing fliers. My job is to warn everypony else of her attack, then keep her distracted while Captain Ironhoof and his guards try to shoot her down. It's not a very pleasant job, and since keeping an eye out for the enemy is part of my duties, sleep is another big concern. Without any other pegasi to relieve me, I'll have to stay up all night, and the prohibition of fire means no coffee. Even tea sounds good now.
Come to think of it, why don't we have more pegasus guards in the Crystal Empire? This is a serious oversight on the administration's behalf and is probably something Her Royal Council of Protection should seriously look into.
It has been agreed that we cannot allow a civilian to participate in fight, but letting Shimmer out of sight could be just as dangerous for her. She will be with Captain Ironhoof, and at the first sign of danger she is to hide behind the base of the crag. It's not much of a plan, but you work with what you've got.
Shimmer doesn't seem entirely pleased with the arrangement but has not complained. I haven't gotten the chance to talk, but it's a little too late tonight. Maybe tomorrow, during breakfast.
Anyways, I'd better put this away. I'm suppose to be on permanent watch duty. Yay.
*
10-MR-1204
Clouds make horrible beds. They're fluffy, yes, and softer than any pillow, but they're also extremely cold and very wet. I wonder if making a bed wetting joke would be too juvenile for this sort of report. Probably not, considering some of the examples I've seen.
I finally got some alone time with Shimmer. She handed me a mug of coffee she helped make with her magic. It's just barely lukewarm and is bitterer than pickled crabapples, but the caffeine is much appreciated.
I asked her what was bothering her and if I could do anything to help. We spent the next minute or so sipping coffee in silence. Well, my break was just about over, and I had gotten up right before Shimmer opened her mouth and um'ed. After a few um's and uh's, I learned that the poor lady was suffering from an unwarranted sense of guilt. She said that she couldn't help but blame herself for the bad news and for the low morale among the guards.
Again, I repeat, unwarranted. Yes, learning that we would be facing a monstrous creature that could probably tear us apart without effort definitely put us in a pretty sad mood, but it was better knowing that now than learning that in the battle. The one thing worse than fighting an unpleasant enemy is having to face an unpleasant surprise.
I tried to explain that to her, but it didn't exactly cheer her up. I plan to talk to her again during the next break.
*
Shimmer still looks a little unhappy, but she contributes that to stress and exhaustion, which I can understand. Everypony's feeling fatigued right now. We spent most of the time just talking. The subject didn't matter, as long as it didn't involve the current crisis. I don't remember how, but we eventually began discussing old exes. I blame the cold and tiredness.
She let it slip out that she was afraid. Almost immediately, a flustered Shimmer tried to backtrack and deny it.
I wanted to tell her how scared I was, how much I wished I was back at home, where it was warmer and safer. I wanted to tell her how frighten I was, of fighting that monster of a queen, of dying, of losing any chance I had of asking her out to that nice cafe I once escorted a visiting Princess Twilight Sparkle to.
Instead, I promised Shimmer that everything was going to be alright. If I was half as cool as I wished I was, I would have reminded her my promise to show her auroras.
Stupid bug queen, ruining everything. I'm going to crush her myself, if I don't get crushed first.
We've started adding snowballs to our munitions. I think most of us are just desperate for something to do besides waiting to be attacked. I've busied myself by kicking away some of the overhanging clouds. Pointless endeavor, since they'll all be back soon, but at least it's something. Let's hope we finish this before that storm hits.
I wish Shimmer was a pegasus. What I wouldn't do for some company. I miss Private. He wasn't much of a conversationalist, but at least he'd be a nice change from all this fluffy silent white stuff.
*
Playing a bit of a gamble here by setting up a fire. The idea is to lure Chrysalis to the ambush site, but I think the more important thing of everypony's minds is finally having a warm meal. Spirits are high, and there's even some laughter in the air. It's quiet, subdued, but it's there.
Well, duty calls. Back to guarding the skies.
*
12-MR-1204
The first flurries are picking up. Some of the guards are getting angry at me, thinking I'm dumping snow on top of their heads on purpose. Not my fault the clouds are already so thick and heavy.
It's noon. I've ordered a lunch break and set upon myself the task of bringing food to the princess's caretakers and the Guard-Captain. I brought Sparky with me. For now, I suppose he's the second in command.
Lunch was standard, with a bit of warm coffee. I carried the tray of stale biscuits, Sparky brought the thermos. The interior of the tent was surprisingly warm. The canvas does a wonderful job keeping out the elements.
Princess Mi Amore Cadenza is unconscious. The bruising appears to have died down, and the cuts have been covered. There's little else that can be done, besides making sure the princess is as comfortable as we possibly can. If there's any internal damage...she's in no condition to be moved anyways.
Alicorns are made of sterner stuff. She'll be fine, I'm sure. She'll be fine. Still, it's frightening to see how much damage <EXPUNGED> managed to inflict. I mean, we all knew <EXPUNGED> was powerful, but this was beyond the capabilities of a mere unicorn.
Ironhoof wanted to know how Shining Armor was doing. I told him he still appears to be in shook, but I had a pair of guards with him in case he did anything rash. I was planning to check on him later and explained that I would present a report ASAP. The captain nodded and wished me the best of luck. He'll check on him later as well, Ironhoof said.
Shimmer asked if she could step out for some fresh air. She followed Sparky and I outside. We were running low on coffee so I sent Sparky to fetch a new thermos.
I wasn't sure what I wanted to ask first. The first thing that came to mind was to inquire how the princess was doing. Perhaps, I thought, Shimmer would be more willing to speak. Such selfish desires grew quiet at the sight of Shimmer bloodshot eyes. Instead, I asked if she had gotten any sleep last night.
She had been up all night, Shimmer explained, helping with what she could. She figured the only reason Ironhoof had her with the princess was that it wouldn't be proper to leave Her Majesty in the company solely of stallions, but that didn't stop her from trying to assist. Odd, the captain from Canterlot never did strike me as a gentlecolt. I've always thought him to be rather lewd, to be honest, but I suppose you never really know a pony until you see them in the line of duty.
I finally found the courage to ask how the princess was faring. Shimmer couldn't say with confidence, but besides the bruises there might have been a few broken bones. She must have noticed my paling because she immediately tried to backtrack. She tried changing the subject to the weather. I wish she hadn't because the clouds bring nothing but bad news. I pointed to the flakes gently fall onto our noses. We needed to get out of the tundra immediately, but we couldn't go anywhere until the princess regained conscious. I hope she awakens soon. We simply do not have enough shelters for everypony.
"Y'know, you've got a special talent."
"Huh?" I said in response to the unexpected compliment.
"I've never met another pony who could turn a topic as boring as the weather depressing."
Despite the gravity of the situation, we shared a tired laugh. Oh, it felt good to laugh, to hear her laugh. Sparky had returned and so we departed. Before I left, Shimmer promised to talk again later, at dinner. Something to look forward to.
Shining Armor completely ignored us. He said nothing when we placed his food. He did not respond when we asked if there was anything he needed. The Guard-Captain just looked onward with blank eyes. I've seen those eyes before, on some of the wretched Sombra's freed slaves. Even after a thousand years, the pain and fear burns on.
Scars fade quickly when compared to memories. I wish Shining Armor a speedy recovery. Seeing the Guard-Captain this way...Sparky's right, it was like he wasn't even there. The guards I set around him did a poor job of hiding their relief after their shift had ended. Maybe Ironhoof can help him.
*
Princess Mi Amore Cadenza's breathing has become less labored, but beyond that her condition seems to remain unchanged.
Some of the guards are beginning to question the point of continued watch shifts. I argued that there wasn't any definite proof that Her Majesty was the one trailing us, not changelings. A flimsy argument, I realize.
Ironhoof went to visit Shining Armor, leaving his lieutenant and Shimmer with the princess. An opportune time to check up on how she's doing, but I had to finish taking inventory first. Her Majesty had brought quite a few supplies with her, including a couple of tents, but I'd still much rather prefer the safety of a town. Food is no longer abundant, we'll have to start rationing more strictly, especially now that we have another mouth to feed. That'll make everypony happy, I'm sure. And I'm sure I'm beginning to sound like a broken record, but every time I look up and see the drifting snowflakes, I grow more worried as I grow colder.
Retreating would mean declaring this entire endeavor a failure, and it scares me how okay I am about that.
It's my turn to stand watch. They say a leader leads by example. Dinner'll be in a couple of hours, I'll write more then.
*
A smaller proportion, as expected. I didn't hear any complaints but I'm sure they exist.
No new updates on the princess. I made my worries about the weather and the location known to Ironhoof, but there's very little we can do right now. It's not safe to move Princess Mi Amore Cadenza yet but neither is simply staying here. We might have to send a few ponies ahead to get extra supplies.
Shimmer and Ironhoof once again took their meal in the improv field hospital. We didn't have the opportunity to speak. Later perhaps.
After receiving permission to speak freely, I asked Captain Ironhoof what he thought of Shining Armor as of now. The older stallion sighed before speaking:
"He's in shock. What would you expect after everything that happened?"
I asked if he thought the Guard-Captain would recover anytime soon. Again, Ironhoof sighed. He explained that he was prepared to relieve Shining Armor of his duty, under the grounds of questionable mental fitness.
I wanted to protest, to argue, but Ironhoof is right. As he is now, Shining Armor is in no condition to continue leading. What stallion would after <EXPUNGED> his <EXPUNGED> <EXPUNGED> like <EXPUNGED>?
I cling desperately to the possibility of a miraculous recovery, for both the Guard-Captain and the princess. Ironhoof does as well, going against his better judgement and holding off on stripping Shining Armor of his authority.
I'm going to try and see if he's in a talkative mood. I doubt it, but some communication might help a bit.
*
Seemed like Ironhoof had the same idea. Standing at a respectable distance, I couldn't really hear what the two officers were discussing, if they were speaking at all. I couldn't tell.
After a few minutes, Captain Ironhoof shook his head and left. He ignored my salute as he passed by. I guess his attempts of conversation were less than fruitful. That implication threatened to crush my already wavering resolve, and I began to consider leaving the Guard-Captain be.
It was too late. The gap that had stood between us had somehow suddenly disappeared. Guess I approached without knowing. I must have stood there in silence for an entire minute straight, like an idiot, before clearing my throat. Another minute passed before I could utter a single word.
Shimmer, when I told her about the same event, had asked me what I had said. She ended up collapsing in laughter. I don't feel like immortalizing what was, and probably will be, my greatest articulate blunder. Shimmer's a little disappointed at that but it's my journal, not hers. Whatever my first words were are not important. I just hope the Guard-Captain didn't hear me or won't remember what I said.
Actually, I think I would have preferred it if Shining Armor had reacted similarly to what I had said. Any reaction would have been nice, really. I would have almost been glad if he had beaten me for what I said about his sister.
Well, at least he spoke to me. It wasn't much, just to say that he needed a few minute to himself and to leave him be. I snapped to a salute, which he ignored, but just as I began to walk away he stopped me. His eyes remained glued to the floor and his cold hoof shook against my shoulder when he asked how the princess was doing.
Shimmer and I are in agreement; I answered in the worst possible way. It was an honest answer, saying I did not know, but stupid. I mean, relatively speaking, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza was doing fine. It could have been a lot worse, had she been a regular pony. It wouldn't have been a lie to say the princess was doing relatively well.
There are a few things keeping a journal has taught me. One, the difficulty in maintaining consistency and quality is directly proportional to the number of entries written. And two, hindsight makes you feel like a chump.
Still, if I were desperate for a silver lining, I could say at least I now have an excuse to try and talk to the Guard-Captain. Not too surprisingly, he shows concern for his wife and might appreciate an update every so while. No news is bad news, I suppose.
With little else to do, I went back to camp, ran through another inventory check to busy myself, took a guard shift, then went to bed. I have a pretty late shift later tonight so I figured I'd get some sleep. Most of the rest of the guards were already snug in their sleeping bags, huddled against the fire. We should probably set up a few tents, now that it's snowing. I'll make a note of it for tomorrow, if the princess still isn't ready to move.
Despite everything, all that's happened, all that could happen, I feel oddly content. Maybe content is the wrong word, how about optimistic? Less than cheerful, less than at peace, perhaps at ease. Shimmer lays next to me, reading over my shoulder, her magic acting as a lantern. I think I've been pretty careful with sensitive information so far so this probably won't be much of a problem. Personally, I don't mind. It's strangely comforting, to be totally honest, though a bit embarrassing.
Shimmer just yawned. Ironhoof wants her to help again tomorrow morning so guess we'll both turn in early. She's protesting, but I'm standing by this decision. I'm getting pretty sleepy myself. Good night, Shimmer.
----
Good night Flash.
--
It's a little harder to see now without Shimmer's magic, but I don't really wanted her to read this next part. I can only hope she has enough respect for my privacy to restrain herself from reading this journal when I'm not around.
Contentment was the right word to use. Even with everything going on, I am content, happy even, to be with Shimmer. When I'm with her like this, I'm at peace. I know I shouldn't feel like this, what with all that danger threatening over our heads, but I do.
She clings closer to me, and I want to hold her. Somehow, when we're together like this, I feel safe. Strange, isn't it? I want to hope she feels the same way when she's with me. Would that be too selfish?
Maybe I should tear this page out, just to be safe.
*
14-MR-1204
Wow, did I really write that much for a single day? I must have had more time on my hooves than I thought.
It's another dreary morning. I woke up today cold and alone; Shimmer was called back to the medical bay in the middle of the night. There is no sun to brighten our spirits. I'm tempted to try and fly through that thick cloudy shield just to briefly feel Celestia's rays, but that desire is tempered by the giant list of risks that come with that endeavor.
When I get back home, I'm tearing up that brochure I got on Vanhoover. Next vacation leave, I'm going to Horseshoe Bay. I'm beginning to really hate snow.
Breakfast is gruel. No sugar, but at least it's warm. After I'm finished, I'll check up on the princess. Shining Armor might appreciate the update, and I need to talk to Ironhoof anyways. We should beginning setting up tents and building shelters if we plan to stick around any longer. I've already told Sparky, Tick, and a member of the Guard-Captain's squad to prep the supplies.
Two guards got in a bit of a quarrel during breakfast. Nopony can remember what it was about, not even the instigators, and order was reestablished quite quickly, but worry exceeds any pride I might have had for diffusing the issue without incident. Restless guards mean trouble, and I expect to see more fights in the future if idleness continues to be a problem. Shelter building might work as a temporary solution. I need to let Captain Ironhoof kno--
--
-w. Well, it's about tim--e to retire this old pen. I'll grab a n--ew one l--ater.
*
So it's probably safe to say any hopes of receiving a decoration for this campaign are dashed. Made a near complete fool of myself when I saw Princess Mi Amore Cadenza in a sling. And she was conscious. I can't believe Her Majesty had to see one of her guards slapped across the face because he couldn't control himself. I can only hope she was too tired to really comprehend.
As most ponies know, alicorns are a breed apart, with magical abilities near immeasurable. What's less commonly known, thought often speculated, is that the body of an alicorn often rivals her magic in power. It is thought that the magic we normally associate with the horn resonates through an alicorn's entire body. Their endurance is amazing, their agility on par with a commissioned officer of the Wonderbolts, they heal at a miraculous rate.
Last night, we learned that accelerated recover has its downsides. Princess Mi Amore Cadenza's broken leg had healed incorrectly, Shimmer told me, so they kind of <EXPUNGED> it. It took the combined efforts of her, Captain Ironhoof, and two other guards with three mallets just to reset the bone.
For the unofficial record, Captain Ironhoof will be taking full responsibility. We should try to make sure that ends up in the official record as well, least someone innocent gets blamed.
The princess woke up in the middle of it. There had been lots of screaming and lots of swearing. Thankfully, the soundproof spell managed to muffle most of it.
Ironhoof belayed my order to begin setting up tents. There aren't enough shelters for everypony anyways, and we plan to leave before the weather worsened. Seeing how the princess is healing up quite nicely, we might be able to leave soon. The weather still worries me, however, but I suppose there is some wisdom in the captain's reasoning.
Shining Armor might like to know about the princess's recovery. Will see him after I tell Sparky to delay further preparations for bunkering down.
*
Sparky and Tick are not happy with me. They know just how unpredictable and how bad storms get in the arctic tundra as well as I do. They are skeptical to the princess's healing progress and doubt we'll make it to the nearest settlement before this entire place becomes a frozen death trap, and we all end up becoming "pony-sicles", as Tick puts it.
Tick's beginning to worry me. When I tried to explain Captain Ironhoof's reasoning, he scowled and asked me why we, guards of the Crystal Empire, were taking orders from a unicorn from Canterlot? If Shining Armor was currently out of commission, wouldn't it make more sense for me to take charge, not him? When I tried to argue, Tick grew angrier. He started with insults, questioning my stallionhood, and declared that if I was too much of a coward to be a leader, then he would.
Mutiny. Rebellion. Treason. It's just talk, I keep telling myself, but talk is enough for a court martial hearing, and we have enough stress as it is. If I inform Ironhoof, I will be adding another burden on him and the rest of us. But leaving this alone is not a good option either, and I can't keep trying to excuse Tick's behavior. I have to do something.
*
Made progress with Shining Armor, glorious, glorious progress. When I told him Princess Mi Amore Cadenza was recovering, he gave a nod in response. When I asked him if he needed anything, he shook his head, and I think I heard him say no.
I decided against telling Shining Armor about Tick. I could really use some advice, but right now doesn't seem like the best time. Maybe later, when he feels a little better.
Before I left, the Guard-Captain stopped and seemed like he had something to say. I was sorely disappointed when he shook his head and whispered, "Never mind."
Tomorrow I'll bring him his personal belongings. I hope he won't mind too terribly. It's just, I'm thinking maybe there's something there that'll keep him preoccupied and take his mind off things. He's probably pretty behind on his reports.
*
Didn't have time to write during dinner, was too busy to even eat. Guards kept coming up to me, demanding for reasons why we were still sleeping out in the snow instead of inside those warm shelters. Maybe I should have just pointed them to Ironhoof, since it was his command, but he's got enough on his hooves.
Shimmer just reminded me I've got quite a bit on mine as well. That's true, but who isn't busy now? I've asked her to keep the entire mess involving Tick's attitude under wraps for now. I'm going to try to contain this situation as best as I can on my own, you don't have to worry about me. He's all talk, I'm sure.
It's getting colder these nights. Shimmer has been offered room with Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, but for some reason she refuses. She's smiling right now, I'm not sure why. It's a little late, but I've agreed to play a little game. I'm going to try to figure out Shimmer's reason by asking 20 questions that she has to truthfully answer yes or no. I'd like to avoid bothering our neighbors so we'll limit communication to paper, if that's alright with you.
1. Does the princess snores?
No.
2. Does Ironhoof snores?
Yes, but you do too.
3. Are you allergic to tarp?
No.
4. Can I give up?
No, jerk.
5. Do you prefer the cold?
No.
6. Do you somehow find it colder in the tent than outside?
No.
7. Is it a mare thing?
Maybe, let's say yes.
6. Is the reason an idea or an individual?
Yes.
9. Stop laughing. Is the reason an idea?
I'll give you this one. It's both.
10. An idea and an individual? Doe--
Yes.
11. THAT DOESN'T COUNT! And don't grab my pen like that. I've only got a couple of replacements left. Does the reason have anything to do with Ironhoof?
No.
12. Does it have to do with Princess Mi Amore Cadenza?
No, you could save a lot of ink by shortening it to Cadence, that's what she asks us to call her anyways. She talks now, by the way.
13. Interesting. If I asked the princess, would she be able to tell me the reason?
Maybe, I'll say yes.
14. Can I give up now?
Yes, but then you'll never know why.
15. Does it have anything to do with changelings?
Not directly.
16. Does it have anything to do with Shining Armor?
No. 4 more guesses.
17. I can count. Read. Do math. Whatever. Does it have anything to do with the Royal Guard?
Yes.
18. Does sleeping with the guards make you feel safer?
Please reword that.
18. Does sleeping out here, in the snow, make you feel safer than if you were sleeping in the tent?
Yes.
19. Is the previous question the reason?
No, last question.
20. Does it have anything to do with me?
Yes. Good night Flash.
*
15-MR-1204
We stayed too late last night. Couldn't sleep. I kept thinking back to the game we played last night, especially the last question.
It's official, I suck at twenty questions. I wish I could have followed up on question 20. It has to do with me. Maybe I'll ask Shimmer about it when there's time. I mean, she couldn't pos--
Editor's note: to be omitted from final publication.
*
Last night. What a damned disaster.
We made another campfire, hoping to draw out our enemy like flies to a candy. Nothing happened, and dinner was another solemn affair. We ate with our spears to our sides, and besides a little small talk and the cackling of burning wood, all was quiet.
First watch rotation began, and I found a cloud to perch on. I kept myself awake by outlining this entry in my head, oblivious to what was about to happen.
It was a couple of hours into the night when I heard the alarm, a loud cymbal crash followed by the cry of a miniature flugelhorn. Like a high diver, I threw myself over the edge, ignoring the chilling air that cut through my coat. My wings directed and slowed my descent, and I hit the snowy ground running, stopping only to try and wretch my sword free from its frozen sheath.
By the time I finally ready the weapon, all the other guards were already in position, forming a circle around the intruder. Strangely, however, not a single guard tried closing the distance. Spears were lowered but not thrust. Swords were held but not swung. Friendly sniper support was worryingly missing.
Tick was the closest, so I approached him. He said nothing, only moving to the side to make room for me and gestured to the spectacle in the center.
Shining Armor stood over Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, his heavy hooves falling upon her body over and over again. Both were screaming, the Princess begging for her husband to stop, and the Guard-Captain angrily demanding her to revert to her natural form. "Fool me once," I heard him say in between murderous threats. Even as she grew quiet, the Guard-Captain continued his brutal assault.
Was the Princess truly the changeling queen in disguise? I believe every one of us wanted to believe so. The alternative, that the Guard-Captain was trying to beat the mare he swore to love to death with his own hooves, was unthinkable, nightmarish.
We should have done something, anything, but we, royal guards sworn to protect the princesses, just stood there and watched, petrified, just hoping that the pink fur would turn to black chitin. It was Captain Ironhoof that finally took charge, giving us the command to separate the two before the princess, lookalike or genuine, expired. Shining Armor put up a fight, warning us to stay away and growling angrily at we who left our backs exposed to the broken mare in the snow.
Shimmer was with Ironhoof as he and one of his guards approached. The closest guards hovered their blades over the 'princess' as Shimmer's horn began to glow. If the light grew darker, it was a changeling in disguise. If the light became a lighter color, it was not.
The light became pink, a light color. Shimmer confirmed her identity. Shining Armor, who had been struggling the entire time, grew limp and collapsed, supported only by his subordinates that had been holding him back.
Captain Ironhoof's lieutenant immediately produced a first aid pack and began to treat Princess Mi Amore Cadenza's wounds. We set up a tent to shelter Her Majesty as we tried to reduce the swellings, soften the bruises, clean and bandage the cuts. Though every guard is train in basic first aid, none of us were qualified medics, and our inexperience lead to some disagreements. Eventually, Ironhoof forced most of us out of the tent, as the crowd of worried guards only served to create a suffocating environment. Only the captain, one of the Guard-Captain's lieutenant, and Shimmer remained with the princess.
The rest of the night was a bit of a blur. I remember trying to take charge, trying to reestablish some sense of order, to set guards in position and assign shifts. There was a fire, I think, to boil rags and serve tea. The ashes are fresh, yes, there was a fire. It was chaos, I remember, trying to keep everything under control.
I think I fell asleep. That would explain why I can't seem to recall everything, but I feel so tired. Did I get any sleep? I can't say.
We're currently waiting for a status report on the princess. Guards forgot their assignments, or just plain ignored me, and waited at the front of the tent. Occasionally, Shining Armor's lieutenant would step out, request some supplies, then retreat before any questions could be asked.
The Guard-Captain looks horrible. His eyes are blood red, and his coat is completely ragged. He sits away from rest of the camp, stealing a peek at the tent his wife now laid in before covering his face with his hooves. Nopony dares approach him, but I don't know how much longer I can keep up this whole leader act. It's pretty obvious I don't have the same air of command Shining Armor carries, or even Captain Ironhoof. I hope he can pull himself together.
Took me awhile to find a new pen. Had to borrow one from Shimmer in the end. Broke my old one when I was rushed away from my last entry. All things considered, however, a broken pen is nothing more than a minor inconvenience, and I really shouldn't be too upset, especially after considering the events from yesterday.
Still, I really liked that pen. It's the last one I originally brought from the Crystal Empire, and I've even thought of turning it into an heirloom. I suppose I should forgive Sparky, given the circumstances. Poor stallion could barely breath after he almost knocked me over in his haste to find help. Don't know if I would've reacted differently.
According to Sparky, Tick had gotten into a fight with the remains of Captain Ironhoof's squad, and not just some small argument or disagreement but an actual outright brawl. Well, turns out Sparky had misspoken in his panic, as no punches had been thrown by the time I arrived at the scene. I do appreciate the urgency, however; I found hooves raised and ready, and I would not call it an exaggeration to say we were just one step away from Sparky's reported battle royal.
Tick, the fool, had been shouting about how Ironhoof was unfit to lead us, that his decisions would lead to many unnecessary deaths. Something about tents too, can't recall off the top of my head right now, I think was too busy trying to bury my face with my hooves. Taking about this sort of thing in a private conversation was questionable, speaking publicly like this to form a mob was undeniable insubordination.
As Tick's contempt grew more vocal, the remaining guards from Canterlot grew more angry. Spurred either by their loyalty to their captain or by a need to release weeks of pent up stress, those guards began to shout back.
I don't know what my plan was. I don't think I even had a plan. I just knew I had to step in before things escalated beyond anypony's control. I pushed through the crowd and confronted Tick, telling him enough was enough. He became furious at me, accused me for being nothing more than Ironhoof's dog. He used a little more colorful language than that but I believe the message is conveyed regardless.
The other guards were also growing more and more restless. Ironhoof's guards began to taunt me as well, and I did my best to ignore them, all of them. I tried again, this time more forcefully by ordering Tick to stand down. Why, oh why, did my voice have to crack then? I silent prayed that the congregation wouldn't just burst out in laughter.
Tick didn't laugh, thankfully. He pushed me instead. I staggered into Ironhoof's guards, who shoved me back into another group of guards who decided to join in all the fun and pushed me as well. And that's when I did something really, really stupid: I turned around and decked the first stallion I saw square in the jaw. I can blame stress and anxiety all I want, but there's really no excuse for my actions. Like a lit match thrown in a barrel full of firecrackers, my single ill fated strike sparked the entire riot, and soon guards were attacking guards indiscriminately.
Really, the less said about that fiasco the better. I remember being knocked over in the back of the head, which probably knocked me out because everything else after is really fuzzy. I remember waking up to the voice of what I thought to be an angel. The truth wasn't really too far off.
Somepony had lifted me onto my feet. I mumbled a weak thanks.
"Don't mention it," Guard-Captain Shining Armor said. Even as he spoke, the scowl he wore did not waver. Guards that had the misfortune of being in the path of his glare immediately shrunk back, ashamed. I did similarly. I had more reason than anypony else to be ashamed.
The voice of the angel rung out again, and I lifted my head toward the source. Princess Cadence marched through the crowd, her soft voice resonating throughout the entire camp, with Shimmer right behind.
Her Majesty asked us what we were all doing. Almost in unison, we turned and looked away. Guilty and shameful, we all turned, trying to avoid her eyes. It's hard to explain the crushing feeling that I felt in my heart when she asked us, when she spoke. Sparky told me he thought he heard his marefriend, in the same voice she had used when he had forgotten about their anniversary. I honestly can't say I can empathize. Truth be told, at the time when he told me, I was a little more interested in learning that the corporal had a special somepony.
Ironhoof was the first to recover. I later learned he tried breaking up the fight as soon as he had heard the ruckus, but it grew too large for him to contain and was quickly overwhelmed. Captain Ironhoof explained there had been a fight among the guards, and he was impossibly sorry for existence of every one of us. It seemed like he had more to say, but Princess Cadence silenced him with a look.
Her appearance softened when she found the Guard-Captain, who quickly looked away. With a sigh and a shake of her head, Princess Cadence continued her stroll between the ranks.
The guilt was agonizing, painful. I had to take responsibility. I had to, I continually told myself. It was my fault fighting broke out. I was the pony who just couldn't maintain control, both over the situation and myself. I just had to step out, explain my actions, and take whatever reparation the princess and my superiors saw fit.
I hesitated. I delayed. I simply stood there, trying to urge myself forward, until some lousy lout pushed me out of the crowd, almost into the princess. At least this time, I managed to squash the desire to strike back.
I felt like melting right then and there as I felt every eye upon me. Shining Armor's, the princess's, Ironhoof, Shimmer's, oh stars above, that look of bewilderment she wore. My training prepared me to remain calm and think rationally under fire, but this sort of pressure was beyond anything I could've imagined.
I swallowed, wiped away the beads of cold sweat, and took a deep breath to calm myself before bowing and screaming apologies, making a fool out of myself once again. Confused, the princess asked for an explanation, which I provide with about five times the appropriate volume. Perhaps I had hoped to deafen everypony to delay my punishment. More likely I was simply just panicky.
I had closed my eyes when I begun the tale of my reckless actions and kept them shut after I had finished. I didn't dare look up into Princess Cadence's eyes or the Guard-Captain's or Shimmer's. I kept mine shut.
Then, another voice sprung up, and I opened my eyes in surprise and in recognition. Tick had stepped forward and was declaring that he was to blame for the fight. He explained that he was the provoker, that he had been trying to start something out of protest before I had even arrived at the scene, that I had only been trying to do my duties and establish order.
Ironhoof was heard next. After digesting Tick's words, the captain gave a command, and suddenly the guards closest to me had grabbed me and pushed me to the ground. I got a mouthful of dirty snow. I heard a yelp and figured the same had been done to Tick.
The captain from Canterlot was speaking again. It was hard to understand him, but according to Sparky, Ironhoof was preparing to have the both of tried and court martialed at once. However, I heard another speaker bark out, and almost immediately, I had been released by my confiners and was allowed to rise to my knees. I was told that it was Shining Armor who, at the princess's gesture, had overridden Ironhoof's command.
I kept my head bowed in fear and respect as the princess passed by, and it was only when she had spoken again did I lift my head. However, Her Majesty had directed her question not at me, but at Tick. She repeated herself when the private took a long moment to answer.
Why, she had asked, had he attempted to raise a rebellion? Did Tick have grievances toward the crown, and could he not have brought them to her attention peacefully? Why did the young soldier seek a means of violence in order to display his dissatisfaction.
Shocked, Tick cried out that he had no problems with the princess or her husband and that his frustration was directed solely at the leadership of Captain Ironhoof. Ignoring the growing redness of the captain's face, Tick explained how he believed Ironhoof was endangering the entire company by delaying further shelter preparations. He felt that as a non-native, Ironhoof did not understand the danger he was exposing us to and was severely underestimating the Arctic tundra blizzards.
Captain Ironhoof, in turn, explained how the best option would be to simply escape the tundra before the blizzard hit, and he felt that setting up and tearing down tents would impede our progress and that the limited number of shelters would mean we'd have to willingly abandon some guards to the elements, which would likely mean their deaths.
Princess Cadence nodded as both sides presented their arguments, then told Ironhoof and the Guard-Captain to begin packing up. If we all were to make it to the nearest settlement before the blizzard trapped us, Princess Cadence reasoned that we didn't have time for pointing hooves or dealing judgment. Silencing Ironhoof with another look, she pardoned everypony before giving Shining Armor the signal for dismissal. Any arguments made involving her injuries or the legitimacy of such pardons she simply ignored.
I had very little time to be grateful as my duties soon consumed me. We've been on the move all day and night yesterday and all day today. We'll be resting tonight, thankfully. I haven't had the chance to talk to Tick yet. I hope he's alright. He was stumbling with his head hung low when we were hurrying through the icy fields. I asked Sparky if Tick had anything to him, but the corporal answered no. Shining Armor talked to him earlier tonight, however, which seemed to cheer him up a bit.
It's great to see the Guard-Captain up and active again, but he seems to be avoiding the princess. Shimmer said that Princess Cadence had been looking for her husband. Shining Armor had apparently ordered a tent to be set up specifically to house the princess. After ordering the tent's disassembly, she sought the Guard-Captain to express her displeasure personally.
She never did find him. An empty space lays next to the princess as she sleeps, and nopony dares fill that vacancy. Shining Armor, meanwhile, rests on the other side of the camp, as far away from the princess as he can without sacrificing heat.
We're all bundled up together to conserve heat, but I don't think it'll be enough. There is a fire lit in the center that would've been extinguished long ago if it hadn't been enchanted, but even then I can barely stop myself from shivering.
Anyways, that's the recap. Shimmer feel asleep hours ago. I'm too tired to continue, will write more tomorrow.
Okay, no, I won't be able to fall asleep tonight until I write this part down first.
We set up our gear together in utter silence, Shimmer and I. I was still suffering from shame for what I had done and, in all honesty, was waiting for Shimmer to berate for my recklessness. I felt like such a fool, displaying such barbarity in front of a lady, like a common thug whose first and only solution to any problem was violence.
She said nothing. She was trying to say something, I think, but she'd always shut her mouth before any words could form. I took the initiative with a timid apology. She didn't hear the first time, so I repeated it.
"What for?" she had asked.
I tried to elaborate, to explain how sorry I was for acting so savagely before her. I told her I would understand if she no longer wished to associate herself with me.
She stared at me for a good long second before wondering if that was it. Her nonchalant reaction confused me, before she continued:
"You were just trying to do your job. Nothing wrong with that."
"I messed up, though," I had said glumly.
"Sure, and what you did was pretty dumb." She giggled, and I smiled despite myself. "But I thought you were pretty brave. You tried standing up against that entire crowd after all. It was stupid, but brave."
Brave. She called me brave. Shimmer thought I was brave. The mare who holds me tightly in her sleep thinks I'm brave.
Oh wait, she also called me stupid. It's true but still a little demoralizing. Guess I didn't notice the first time she said it.
*
17-MR-1204
We preparing to set off again. I've decided to take the last minute to make sure my ink hasn't frozen yet. No fire to greet us this morning, so breakfast was cold. Sun's missing as well. Shining Armor asked me for an estimation on the storm's status, hoping to gauge how much time we had left.
I've never been very good with numbers. I don't think my answer of "not much" was very helpful at all.
Leaving now.
*
Snow's really beginning to pick up. We'll wake up buried if we're not careful.
We're in the right direction of <EXPUNGED> at least, so there's a bit of good news. The princess, Captain Ironhoof, and Guard-Captain Shining Armor have been busy discussing alternative plans. I spent most of the time making sure everypony had a job securing the area but managed to squeeze into the discussions. Trying to escape the tundra is the most optimal action, but it's definitely not our safest bet. The risks are as high as the stakes.
Our other option is to try and find/make shelters and let the blizzard run it's course. There are several problems with that plan, however, the most obvious being the insufficiency of tents. Calculations by the princess based on tent size and average size of a grown pony estimate at least four ponies left out in the cold, and that's considering each tent filled to the very maximum geometrical capacity.
I shouldn't have to explain just how dangerous the tundra blizzards are to any citizen of the Crystal Empire, especially in the spring. Those snowstorms are legendary. Odds were, those four unlucky ponies we'd have to leave out wouldn't survive. That's not an option, not with sacrifices so high and so needless.
The Guard-Captain's famed protection spell isn't designed to keep out particles as small as snowflakes, and it would not provide any protection against the cold temperatures. Besides, the spell takes time to activate and deactivate, time that should be spent on traveling, so that's not much of a solution.
Ideas of using the canvas from the tents to form one giant shelter were also scrapped after some more number crunching. Besides, we didn't exactly have the tools for such a task. Same issue applies to the igloo plan. Yes, there was an igloo plan.
Meeting was adjourned, and Shining Armor hurried off to check on the guards on watch. The princess was too slow, and the Guard-Captain was out of earshot before she had uttered the first syllable. I expected her to send either Ironhoof or I to track Shining Armor down and request his presence. I think Her Majesty was planning to too, but she interrupted her own order and let us go deal with our own devices.
Just assigning patrols, watch shifts, etc. until dinner. Almost out of fuel, had to decide whether the last campfire would be tonight or some other evening. Decided to conserve, so dinner was cold. It might have been more pleasant to go to bed hungry than with a stomach heavy with half frozen food.
Shimmer's been keeping Princess Cadence company, haven't you? She's nodding, partially from exhaustion. The princess is worried. She hides it well from the rest of us, so I have no idea how Shimmer can see through Her Majesty's facade. Mare's intuition, Shimmer told me. Can't argue with that.
It makes sense that the princess would be worried about our current progress, but Shimmer's not completely certain the danger we're facing is the issue, or at least, it's not the entire source of the princess's anxiety. I wonder what else could possibly on Princess Cadence's mind besides the possibility of hypothermia and frostbite, but Shimmer suspects it has to do with the Guard-Captain.
Now that I think about it, the Guard-Captain has been acting rather suspicious, avoiding the princess and such. Is it possible that Shining Armor is a changeling infiltrator and the princess has been trying to corner him in order to perform an identification spell? Best theory I've come up with so far. I'll run it by Shimmer in the morning, when she's awake.
*
18-MR-1204
I've never heard any pony groan so hard and so loudly. She agreed to check and make sure Shining Armor is Shining Armor, but Shimmer made it pretty clear on how little she believed in my theory. The examination will delay our journey, and I'm beginning to think this idea wasn't my best.
Still, better properly paranoid than utterly surprised.
*
I feel like an idiot. No praises of vigilance this time. Shining Armor is still Shining Armor, the tundra is still colder than a frozen ice cube, and I'm still lost to the source of Princess Cadence's worry.
Leaving. Will have plenty of time to ponder trudging through the snow.
*
Another strategical meeting. This time we considered having me scout ahead to determine the distance between us and <EXPUNGED>, possibly even bring back extra supplies. Princess Cadence's participation was overruled before she could even bring it up. Problem was, the weather's gotten too unmanageable for a pegasus of my caliber. A Wonderbolt might have been able but not I, and the clouds were too thick for a scout to see through anyways.
Speaking of which, I can say with confidence that, based on the weather, we went from not much time to little time. Very unspecific, but I can't really trust myself to quantify my predictions, not after what I said on March 7th. Been looking at past entries in order to chart the storm's progression, and I have no idea what compelled me that day to say we had a week before the storm hit full force. I'm beginning to think all pegasus guards should have some experience on weather teams before receiving their armor. Something to run by boot camp and recruitment, I guess.
Ran into the Guard-Captain as he tried to escape after the meeting's end. Delayed him long enough for the princess to arrive, but Shining Armor managed to disentangle himself from me before she could speak. He hesitated when Princess Cadence called his name before disappearing.
Shimmer's description fits best; the princess looked heartbroken. The two apparently had a little heart-to-heart chat in private, and when I asked Shimmer about it, all she told me was "Girl talk."
I asked Shimmer if she wouldn't mind sharing her conversation with the princess in this journal for future readers. Her only condition was that I myself was not allowed to read that entry. I could make no such promise so no gossip here.
We're going to bed early tonight. Don't plan on writing more later tonight. Tomorrow we rise even earlier to make up for lost time.
*
Just awoke from a rather disturbing dream. I was a colt again, playing with my mother in a meadow. She was making a crown made of marigolds, which she set on my head after finishing. Suddenly, Princess Twilight Sparkle flew down, crushing dandelions and daisies and demanding my presence immediately. I followed her into a cave lit by the glow of a dozen crystals. Several life-sized snowponies saluted me as I passed.
The interior was filled with crystals of varies colors. When I turned around, I saw that the young princess had vanished and a mare I've never in my entire life stood in her place. Her coat was golden, her mane was a mix of gold and rubies. Her eyes were green and full of intelligence, like Shimmer's. She was very beautiful.
The mysterious mare wore a white veil. My mother nudged me toward her, handing me a bouquet of white crystal chrysanthemums. As she fixed my golden crown of flowers I looked up, recoiling in horror as my mother was replaced by the horrific face of a changeling.
I stumbled back and ran for the entrance of the cave. A wall of ice blocked my escape. Timidly, I tapped a hoof against the cold barrier, and when I pulled back, my entire limb was encased in a block of ice. The frost spread until I couldn't even move my neck. I opened my mouth to scream and awoke in a cold sweat.
I'm not exactly the kind of pony you'd call superstitious, but the dream bothers me greatly. Could it mean anything?
Going back to sleep. Hopefully, my dreams will be more comforting this time around.
Couldn't sleep a wink after last night's. Shimmer and Sparky've been asking me why I've been yawning so much. I'm a little embarrassed to admit that something as silly as a fanciful dream kept me up. I'm not a foal, don't know why a simple fantasy was causing me to lose so much sleep.
Time to move, will write more soon.
*
Snow has impeded progress. We're still days away from <EXPUNGED> and there's no sign of potential shelters nearby. The wind grows colder by the second, and the each step becomes a greater task. The snow, which falls heavier and heavier on our heads, reminds me of sand rushing to the bottom of my father's old antique hourglass. A fitting comparison, as we are running out of time.
Goodness, that sounded depressing. Everything I've written so far sounds depressing. Do I sound this glum when I speak out loud? Morales low enough without my distress weighing it down. Come on, time for good old fashion optimism. Count your blessings, they say:
1.
Optimism is hard.
*
Another meeting, nothing new. Just more bad news and fewer options. Ironhoof's angry, the Guard-Captain's upset, the princess unhappy, and we're all cold and hungry. Oh, food supply's running low, so that's new. Not dangerously low, mind you, but meal portions will definitely be reduced, if not complete skipped. Guess it's time to find out what's actually worse, going to bed on an empty stomach or with a belly heavy with frozen food. Have I said that before? I feel like I'm repeating myself. I can't remember and can't be bothered to check.
Ironhoof's with Shining Armor right now. They seem busy so I'd better now bother them. And Shimmer's with the princess, having one of their "girl talks", so I can't talk to her. I assigned Sparky to taking inventory, so he's busy, and besides, it'd look really unprofessional for an officer to hold a conversation with a subordinate on duty. That leaves Tick, but I really don't want to talk to that guy right now. Things are still a little awkward between us after the fight.
I've just realized how lonely I feel. It bothers me more than I'm comfortable admitting. I'm glad you're still around, journal. At least I have you to talk to. After spending so much time with one, I can see why keeping a diary is so appealing. You're like a little friend that listens to all I have to say without ever being judgmental, a perfect listener who never misunderstands or disagrees. Granted, you can't exactly express an opinion since you never do reply. Not much of a conversationist. You're a pretty awful friend in that regard.
I think I'm going to go find Tick now. I need some time away from this thing.
*
Shimmer still won't tell me what she's been discussing with the princess, despite all but coercing the entire awkward conversation I had with Tick out of me. I still have no idea why the two of us decided to talk about whether changeling urine was toxic or not. There was a patch of yellow snow nearby, courtesy of the delightful private, that might have been what sparked the entire conversation.
She regrets convincing me to speak. Apparently it's not, so Tick owes me twenty bits. I'm curious to how Shimmer discovered that little tidbit about changeling anatomy, but she's keeping quiet, and I don't really have the energy or desire right now to try and coax her into explaining.
I've been shedding a lot of feathers lately. I should have noticed it without Shimmer pointing out all the loose feathers, but with everything we've had to to deal with lately, it must have slipped my mind. My wings weren't toned to endure all that stress from earlier, and all that unfamiliar activity really took a toll on them. I won't be flying for a week or so, until I grow out new feathers, but I sincerely doubt I will need to do anymore serious flying soon. We've already decided a scouting mission would be too risky. I'm more concerned about how I'm going to keep my wings warm now that I've lost feathers. I don't want to ask for another blanket or anything like that; we don't exactly have extra supplies to spare. I need to figure this out soon, before tomorrow night at the very latest.
The worst nightmare of any Pegasus, from a captain of the Wonderbolts to the youngest foal just learning to yearn for the sky, is to lose his or her wings. I may not be the greatest flyer, but I'm no exception, and what could be a worse way to lose my wings than via frostbite? Maybe in a fire? At least that'd be warm. Getting them sawed off with something rusty would be pretty bad too.
Great, I know what my dreams will be about with tonight.
*
20-MR-1204
She kept them warm.
I woke up this morning with my balding wings tucked neatly in between Shimmer's forelegs, close to her chest. They're a little sore, but that's a single droplet of complaint in an ocean of gratitude, even when she sputters that it was totally an accident. It's an accident I'm thankful for. Wish I could have expressed my thanks beyond sad mumblings and matching her blush.The nearby ponies didn't make it any easier with their wolf whistles and jokes.
At least Shining Armor and Princess Cadence are smiling again. But why am I the blushing bride? Shimmer was just as red. Must have been some inside joke among royalty, I don't know.
*
Are routines bad? I've never really minded them before. Part of basic training was dealing with the monotony. Rise before Princess Celestia, run three miles, eat breakfast, run three more laps, theory and strategy, lunch, history and more theory, obstacle course, etc. Lather, rinse, repeat, and I was fine with it.
The routine I'm stuck in now is beginning to bother me. Wake up, eat a very small breakfast, record, march through snow and freezing winds while trying to ignore how the worst case scenario becomes ever more possible with each passing second, stop for the night, record, meeting with the captains and the princess, eat a tiny dinner, record, go to bed.
I really wouldn't mind some variety, like maybe tomorrow we could finally arrive at <EXPUNGED> just in time for lunch, and then we'd actually have lunch. Anything to get out of this impending threat of death rut we seem to be stuck in. We need to conserve energy so we can't even talk while we walk, and it's not like I can write and march at the same time.
Maybe I'm just bothered that I don't really have anything else to write about. That's another thing this mission has taught me: when you're bored, you really start to think about the strangest things. Also, it is completely possible to be bored while being trapped in a life-threatening situation. Who knew?
I'm going to take a quick break to clear my mind. Maybe I'll think of something to write after a stroll. I still need to thank Shimmer properly, so maybe I'll figure that out too.
*
Ran into the Guard-Captain before dinner, and we talked after exchanging formalities. Instinctively, I inquired about his wife and how she was doing. Didn't realize what I had just said until I saw Shining Armor's grimace. Yeah, probably not the smartest thing for me to ask, and I apologized immensely.
Shockingly, Shining Armor responded by wondering how the bachelor life was treating me, though he changed the usual greeting by adding how this might be the last time he would be able to ask me that and how he wished he had more single friends. It took me some time to get over how the Guard-Captain referred to me as a friend before I asked him what he meant about this being the last time.
Shining Armor is no pessimist. To him, the world can't be viewed through a glass half empty or half full. What matters are the efforts needed to fill or empty said glass, and one's focus should be on those necessary steps. What I'm trying to say is that Shining Armor, former captain of the Canterlot Royal Guard and current Guard-Captain of the Crystal Empire, is not the kind of pony who would morbidly imply that either he or another pony would not survive like that, not while the two were still breathing, and a good chance of salvation remained.
Shining Armor made it clear that he wasn't trying to say that this could be the last time the two of us would be alive to talk to each other, and he was sorry if his words could have been interpreted that way. I nodded and waited for further explanation. My features must have betrayed my expectations, as he crushed them with a shrug. The minute he saw my shoulders sagged he asked me if Shimmer and I had kissed yet.
I released the driest spit-take possible before collapsing into unintelligible sputters. Shining Armor waited with the patience of a mountain as I tried to regain my senses. My first coherent phrase was an accusation, demanding Shining Armor to admit that he had violated my privacy by reading my journal. He had not but was now curious to see what I had written regarding the pretty, young researcher who had been accompanying us. When I asked him how he figured, no, what made him think I was interested in Shimmer, the Guard-Captain smiled and simply said it was obvious not just to him but to most of the group. That sent me into another fit of stammers.
When I regained control of myself for the second time, I wondered aloud if our potential relationship was really worth all this attention while so much danger was present. At this, Shining Armor's grin faltered just a tiny bit and said that a little gossip might help raise some spirits. Then he became completely solemn.
"Treat her well," he said to me as he got up and prepared to leave. "Hurting her can mean hurting yourself."
Words to ponder over dinner. Suddenly I'm in the mood for ice cream. I must be crazy, but mint chocolate chip sounds awfully good.
*
Short meeting today, no new developments. I thought about asking Shining Armor to expand on his message. Been mulling over those words for a while, they make me a little uneasy. Decided better of it and left the Guard-Captain alone. He seemed pretty busy with Ironhoof anyways, though I'm not certain what topic the two were discussing.
Played tic-tac-toe with Sparky for a bit. Was about to end his winning streak when he had to leave for guard duty. I'm beginning to wonder whether continued guard shifts are entirely necessary. We've lost the changelings, that much is obvious, and there is no reason for them to start pursuing us now, especially in this weather. The growing blizzard poses a far more apparent threat than the changelings who are probably just as concern with dealing with the upcoming storm as we are.
I see Shimmer and Princess Cadence together, talking about who knows what, again. I hear the Guard-Captain's words in my head. What did he mean? Am I overthinking this? Just what does Shimmer mean to me?
Goodness, it's getting warm. Did somepony start a campfire with the last of our supplies? I'd better make sure they received permission.
*
Finally found the courage to ask Shimmer if she keep my wings from freezing like she did last night. Kind of. In a roundabout, sort of manner.
As I was preparing to go to bed, I noticed that Shimmer's sleeping bag was not next to mine. I had not realized earlier, distracted as I was with my duties. Rather than simply let that be, I had decided to ask her why the sudden change. I am still a little confused as to why I had chosen to confront Shimmer, and I remain completely unhappy with the excuses I've come up with. Perhaps Shimmer had just wanted a little privacy, a possibility I should have considered and respected.
Well, whatever interfered with my cognitive abilities, be it the cold, the stress, or the Guard-Captain's distracting words, I ended up walking over to the young mare and asking her if there was any reason why she had decided to sleep here instead of next to me. In hindsight, I can understand why she had begun to blush; again, no excuse I can create for my poor choice of words is satisfactory.
I probably shouldn't have been so loud either. A few others had been nearby, including Guard-Captain Shining Armor and Princess Cadence.
Despite all the time Shimmer tried to buy to delay her answer, I was still caught off guard when she told me was worried that her tendency to grab things in her sleep was keeping me awake, and she didn't want to be a bother.
My response was immediate, almost instinctive, and completely without thought:
"Are you kidding? I need you."
Her blush probably deepened, now that I think about it, but at the time I was more focused on the opportunity she had unwittingly given me to explain my own predicament. After hearing the situation, Shimmer revealed to be more than happy to keep my wings warm at night.
Again, I feel like we were a bit too loud. The princess kept giving me this unnerving look I'm having difficulty describing. She might still be giving me that look, but turning over to check is just about impossible. Besides, I don't want to end up waking Shimmer. She just fell asleep, with my wings held close to her. I don't longer mind the difficulty it adds to writing these entries. I'll get to keep my wings, after all. The benefits outweigh all else, including the discomfort. I suppose I'm just so relieved for such a reprieve. Wing-threatening crisis averted.
No, that's not it. Yes, knowing that I am no longer in grave danger of having my wings freeze over puts me at ease, but that's not it, not it at all. That sort of reason doesn't explain why I'd much rather she be holding my front, why I wish I could flip myself over and wrap my legs around her and pull her close to me, until her very breath keeps me warm, and mine does the same for her. I keep picturing her slumbering face, gently snoring next to mine.
I am more tired than I imagined. Tomorrow is another big day. I am very much in love.
*
21-MR-1204
As I awoke this morning and found myself deep in the forelegs of a beautiful mare, I was reminded of my conversation with Shining Armor. If Shimmer and I had ever kissed, I am certain I would have recorded the event immediately. If there is time, I might be tempted to search through my earlier entries just to make sure.
The Guard-Captain does not look well. It might be exhaustion, possibly stress. I'm going to try and keep an eye on him. I still have a mission complete and a duty to perform, both which must take priority even in the light of this new development. I'll try to strike another conversation with the Guard-Captain when we stop today to see how he's doing. If letting him making jokes about my relationship with Shimmer will improve his mood at all, then so be it.
But seriously, who would have thought romance could blossom in a situation like this? Apparently life threatening circumstances make excellent dates.
*
It stopped snowing, miraculously. The clouds are still thick and heavy, but at least they've taken a break from showering on us. For once, I can write without pausing every few minutes to brush flakes out of my eyes and off this journal. It's just a short reprieve, means very little. I'd hate to get my hopes up now after everything else.
Oh look, it's starting to snow again. I didn't think jinxes counted if they weren't spoken aloud.
I had planned to speak to the Guard-Captain before our meeting, but Princess Cadence had cornered him before I could. Whatever Her Majesty wishes to discuss, it must be important. She trapped him this time, no escape for him today. I'll try to talk to Shining Armor later. In the mean time, I'll see how Captain Ironhoof is doing. Might try to find Tick and Sparky and see how those two are doing too.
I feel a need to see Shimmer as well, but for what? To confess? To simply enjoy her company and her banter? Do I just strut in with a business-as-usual attitude in light of my recent resolution, or do I let her know how I feel and see how she responds? Perhaps it would be wiser to wait until we've reached safety before I try anything. Yes, that would the best option. There'll be plenty of time for this kind of discussion when we're no longer in danger of being trapped in a tundra during a blizzard. Maybe I could invite her for snow cones again, when we get back to <EXPUNGED>, if that machine's still working.
Actually, scratch that idea. I don't even want to think about snow right now, no matter how much syrup you offer me. Maybe we'll go for Crystal Empire fritters when we get to the capital instead.
*
Ironhoof's a little jumpy. We talked for awhile, and he told me he hasn't been sleeping very well and admits to seeing things lately, shapes in the snow and whatnot. He had to take a moment to recognize me and asked if I wouldn't mind filling in for him at the meeting later tonight so he could grab a quick nap. It took him a little while to remember I was also part of the meeting committee and had no authority to excuse him. Still, considering how little we really get done during those meetings, I don't think the Guard-Captain would mind much. Better ask him though, just to make sure.
*
It's almost dinner time, and I still haven't been called over for a meeting. Maybe we aren't having one tonight, or more likely, tonight's assembly will be more exclusive. I heard Shining Armor promise Princess Cadence to speak with her later, so perhaps the subject at hand is beyond someone of my position. If that's the case, I should go wake up Captain Ironhoof. It might concern him.
*
Ironhoof is mad at me. I have no idea why. It could just be grumpiness from a lack of sleep, i don't know. Maybe there's bad news, and he just needed somepony to take the stress out on. I wish he didn't make me his figurative punching bag.
No, that's probably not it. Captain Ironhoof has his problems, but he wouldn't get angry at a pony just to get rid of some stress. It's bad for morale, and as a captain he must know better. He's probably just tired.
I thought about discussing my revelation regarding how I feel towards Shimmer with Sparky and Tick before realizing how stupid an idea that was. The last thing I need is Tick's teasing. We talked about the first things we were going to do when we got back to the capital instead. Tick planned to pay a visit to some new exotic buffet I've never heard of and eat himself silly. I considered just settling for a warm shower before amending it to a full spa treatment. A wonderful massage followed by a nice soak in a hot tub sounds divine after everything we've gone through.
Sparky sort of killed the mood by reminding us that somepony had to tell Private's folks what happened and it might as well be him, since they were old friends, I think. Maybe their parents were friends or coworkers, I can't remember. Technically, casualties are kept secret until the Council of Defense finishes filing the reports, but that process can take months. Who knows when Private's family will hear the news? It's an archaic system, one that needs revising.
I just realized Sparky might have some advice for me. He has a marefriend, after all. Darn it, why didn't I think of it earlier? Too late now, I suppose. The corporal is busy keeping watch at the meeting.
*
So apparently there wasn't a meeting tonight at all. I guess Ironhoof was mad because I woke him up for no apparent reason. He skipped dinner and went straight to bed. I suppose whatever the princess wanted to talk about with Guard-Captain Shining Armor was solely between the two.
Well, whatever it was, it must have done some good. I saw Shining Armor write furiously in his own journal. He must be really behind in the official report. When he broke his pen, Princess Cadence provided him with a new one. The two shared a brief smile before noticing my stares. Yeah, oops.
There's really not much else to write about tonight, which is fine, since I'm awfully tired myself. Shimmer's already asleep. I hear her soft breathing, I feel her warm chest as she holds my wings and the beating of her heart. Can you hear mine, Shimmer? Can you hear my heart cry for you? How would you react if you could read these words, to see them with your lovely green eyes? How would you respond when I write, I love you?
I hope one day these things I write down will become more than ink on paper. I hope one day you will hear these very words I write from my lips. This journal can't even be trusted with your name, but it is the only one, the only thing, I dare share my secret. One day, I hope it'll become our little secret instead, something just between the two of us.
I think I've lost a day, maybe two. Princess Cadence doesn't know how long I've been unconscious, but I know I've spent about a day gathering my bearings. My head isn't as fuzzy as yesterday, so at least now I can write.
It's just the two of us, the princess and I, stuck in some subterranean cavern. An old mine from the reign of the accursed Sombra perhaps? Doubt it, it's a little too small to be something like that. I might check if there any crystals around later.
It's definitely Princess Cadence. Pass code and everything checks out, so that's a relief, though now that I think about it, and I really wish I hadn't, I would much prefer being stuck with an imposter if it meant the princess wasn't in this kind of situation. Then again, at least this way I can confirm Princess Cadence's status. Not that my confirmation matters much at the moment.
I need to stop thinking, my head still hurts. Maybe a recap will be less mentally strenuous.
After some discussion with the princess, it's safe to conclude that we were attacked. It must have been the changelings, I can't think of any other possible enemy, but that doesn't make much sense. Why would they go this far just to track and hunt us down? Were they somehow unaware of the snowstorm? Did they think they could take us out before the blizzard hit? And what were they trying to achieve by the attack? Why then and not earlier? I'm getting a headache trying to guess the rationale behind these actions. Didn't I say I'd stop thinking so hard? Maybe that's just how and what changelings are, unpredictable and irrational monsters. I don't know. I wish Shimmer was here to explain.
They struck during breakfast, while we were still cleaning up. I was in the middle of tying my saddlebags straps when I heard the scream. I remember Shining Armor's horn lighting up, followed by as sudden explosion. I remember a command, "Protect the princess!" and rushing to her side. I remember looking for Shimmer as I wrestled with my sword. There was a black blur flying toward the princess, then away. Somepony screamed run, and we ran. The princess tripped, and I was the closest. As I tried helping her back to her feet, she cried out, and I reflexively looked up. A horrible shiny black creature was charging at us, and I dropped my blade. I remember scrambling for the weapon, seeing Princess Cadence's horn glow, and the ground giving way. That's when I blacked out.
I awoke some time later, my saddlebags torn, my helmet dented, and my sword missing its sheath. Princess Cadence made sure to remove all the snow from my body and kept my head elevated. She doesn't think there's any lasting damage. I guess the helmet took the blunt of it. Still hurts, but now I'm just complaining.
No one else fell besides us. There's a changeling corpse we tried burying. That was another indication of the attack, but it took a few minutes for me to recognize what it was. Doesn't really matter, it's probably not in much of a talkative mood.
Speaking of speaking, the princess and I have also been somewhat quiet. We're both really tired. She's napping right now. Ponyfeathers, I should have made sure she hadn't sustained any injures. I'd better go wake her up and sure all her bones are intact.
*
I wonder if Princess Cadence has ever taken martial arts. I'm pretty sure my nose is broken. Or maybe I'm just being a big baby.
Anyways, Princess Cadence is fine, mostly. She's rolled an ankle, but there doesn't seem to be anything beyond that. She's just tired. I'm exhausted myself. As much as I'd like to try and make some escape plans, I having trouble seeing straight. There's barely any light in here.
Princess Cadence agreed to wake me up in an hour, and I've wasted how much time already writing in this journal? Confounded book and pen, this is witchcraft.
*
The princess let me sleep a little longer. I want to say I wish she hadn't, but my body disagrees with my pride. It's amazing what good a nap can do for you. My headache's gone, that's good. Only problem is how numb I feel because of the cold. That, and I'm getting a bit hungry. Great, know that I'm thinking about it, I'm starving. Nothing I can really do about food, but at least we can deal with the cold.
I'm just going to come out and say it, alicorns are heavy. I can barely hold her upright, and her chin's really digging into my back. At least it's warm, but I'm not sure how'll I'll ever look Shining Armor in the eye after this. For some reason, I half-expect him to pop out in front of us, and I'd scream, "It's not what it looks like!" or something like that. I might just be delirious. Better think of something to occupy my mind. I've got to keep writing if I want to stay awake. The last thing we want is for both of us to fall asleep.
Let's see, escape options. Well, we're more in a very deep hole than a cave, considering how there doesn't seem to be any paths leading further in or further out. The only idea I can think of is up. There's a little hole at the top, where I'm getting my writing light and how I'm keeping track of time, but I can't tell if it's large enough for a pony to crawl through. And then there's the question of reaching that hole in the first place. I don't know about the princess, but I'm in no condition to fly.
I can't feel my wings. Oh stars above, I just realized I can't feel my wings. Are they still there? I can't see them. I need Shimmer, she'll help she save where is
I need to calm down. I'm probably just numb from the cold. I'll just have to find the courage to ask the princess if she can hold them and keep them warm instead.
Okay, now I know Shining Armor is going to kill me. It might be easier to see if I can make a fire with what's left of my saddlebags and this journal. I'm sure the librarians wouldn't mind who am I kidding? Can't start burning Crystal Empire property now. I'm not desperate enough to become an arsonist. Ask me again in a few hours. Or right now. Can't reach the bags, princess too heavy, oh well. I just hope I can find a match or some flint later.
Where was I? Back to escape plans.
So, only way out is up, and it's a long way up. Maybe the rest of the squad can find and rescue us, but I'm not too optimistic. Hopefully Princess Cadence will have some better ideas. She might have some sort of spell that could help us out. I'm sure that horn's not just for decoration, but whether she's in any condition to cast magic is a different story. We'll have to see once she awakens.
I wish I had a comb. I have a sudden urge to brush the princess's mane. It is very pretty.
I wonder how the others are doing. I hope they're faring better than us. I want to say I remember seeing Shimmer close to Shining Armor. If that's true, she'll be fine. Well, fine as long as the guard-captain is fine. I'm sure she'll be fine too.
See? I can be optimistic. Heck, I'm sure Tick and Sparky are perfectly okay too. They might already be in town and organizing a search party. Yep, as long as I keep ignoring the howling winds outside, I can keep telling myself that everypony else is peachy keen.
When was the last time I've had a peach? Have I ever had a peach before? I've had crystal berries and apples before, but for the life of me I can't remember what a peach tastes like. I know they're supposed to be sweet. Most fruit are.
Maybe food isn't the best topic to dwell on. Then again, the hunger could keep me awake, either the noisy rumbles from my belly or the stinging pain. Plenty of snow around. Don't eat the yellow snow. Don't eat the black stuff either. Doesn't look very filling. I wonder, if I made a ice sculpture in the shape of a pie, could I trick myself into thinking it tasted like one too? Pie does sound good.
You have to respect mathematicians. The furthest I can correctly recite pi to is four digits. How those ponies manage to work with more is beyond me, which is probably why those ponies have degrees and get to sit in nice cozy campus offices while I'm stuck down here, freezing my tail off. Then again, how many mathematicians can say they've held a princess? I can't feel my shoulder. How is she so heavy?
Speaking of heavy things, I've been thinking about writing down a last testimony and will in here, just in case. I don't know how much weight such a document would have, considering how I don't have a lawyer with me. Is that how wills work, with lawyers and stuff? I don't know. I just hope whoever gets my sock collection is somepony who appreciates it and keeps it organized. You know what, I think I'll take my collection with me. No, you know what, I think I'm going to survive, just to make sure it's taken care of.
That was a joke, of course. I don't have a sock collection. I wonder what the princess would look like in a set? Or Shimmer? I wish I was an artist. I wish I was a lot of things, the first most being not here.
My jaw's beginning to hurt. It's times like these when I wish I was a unicorn. How convenient would it be to be able to hold a pen with magic? I've heard that's a pretty difficult trick for most unicorns, however. I think I remember even Shimmer taking notes with her mouth. Maybe I should learn how to write with my wings. Not that it would help us right now.
Has it already been almost an hour already? It's amazing how quickly time passes when you write. Just as well, I'm so tired I'm having trouble keeping this pen steady. I hope I have extra pens in my bag. If there are, I hope they're also intact and usable.
I need to remember to ask the princess to keep my wings warm when I wake her up. I hope she doesn't hit me again.
*
It was a shorter reprieve, about half an hour. I'm still a little tired but it's necessary. The princess and I can't just assume Shining Armor and everypony else will be able to find us in time. We need to have some sort of plan. It's time for some brainstorming, and I've been promoted to royal scribe (a jest from the princess herself, didn't Shimmer say something similar?).
1. One of us flies through the entrance above us and grabs help.
Pros: It's simple, doesn't require too much preparation.
Cons: Very risky and very dangerous; the weather outside could be dangerous, we would have to split up, and there is no definite possibility of finding Shining Armor and everypony else. We don't know if the rescued pony could find their way back here, and by then it might be too late.
2. Sit and wait.
Pros: We won't be separated. Princess Cadence can use her magic to create flares in order to show our location. We'll have protection from the weather.
Cons: We don't have time to wait. The cave keeps us safe from the elements outside, but we don't have any food. There's no definite possibility of Shining Armor and the rest of them finding us, even with the flares. Additionally, the magic will quickly drain away the princess's remaining reserves, and the signals could attract hostiles instead.
3. Same as 1, but with both of us instead of just one.
Pros: We'll stick together.
Cons: It's still risky; the weather is still a danger, and who can say if we can find help out there. Still, it's better than nothing.
4.
It's been almost an hour, and we're still trying to come up with a fourth idea. I don't think there is one. We were running out of time, and now we're running low on options. Our best bet is number three, but considering how high the entrance is and how I'm grounded for the time being, I'm not sure how I can escape. It's my turn for a nap. Maybe I'll figure something out after some sleep. I'll try to get an exact estimate on the height later. There might be some footholds, haven't really bothered exploring our shelter.
*
Shimmer and I were in a small canoe. There weren't any paddles, we just drifted in a cool blue lake. I could almost feel the warm sun rays fall upon my body. My wings were huge, large enough to blanket us both as we nestled against each other. She leaned forward, and I can't remember what happened next. Princess Cadence woke me up too soon. I forgot to ask her to hold my wings.
Time to do a bit of exploring. I don't think I'll be able to move the princess so guess I'm stuck using just my eyes. It'll be harder to examine details, but at least I can take notes while I'm looking around.
Not much to see. There doesn't seem to be any paths leading elsewhere, which would be odd if this were a mine. Even if it were a natural cavern, one would expect maybe an exit or a way leading into a deeper chamber. Perhaps those ways were blocked off by cave-ins. There does seem to be a few rocky edges poking out of the snow. I'll have to see if they can be used as footholds later. I can't fly so I'll need an alternative way to get to the exit above us. I suppose the princess could try carrying me up there. Actually, that sounds silly. Alicorns might be tougher than the average pony, but I doubt she has the energy right now to fly with a heavy armored guard on her back. Even if I ditched the armor, I don't think the princess could carry me.
Then again, I probably lost a lot of weight recently, I might be light enough to be carried. On the other hoof, the princess feels pretty thin herself, she probably doesn't have the strength. Plus, I would hate to be remembered as the one guard who had to be carried by his princess. I'd die from the embarrassment, if the Guard-Captain didn't kill me first for riding his wife.
Sparky would be proud of me for that one. Or was it Tick? It was Tick, I meant Tick. Oh goodness, I'm getting those two all mixed up now. It might be a pointless endeavor, but during my next watch I'll see if I can find any sustenance. Maybe I packed something in my saddlebags, or maybe I might find some mushrooms. Yes, I've become desperate enough to want mushrooms, nasty little things.
At least I have plenty of ink and plenty of paper. The trick is making sure I've got things to write about. And there's only one pen, so I need to be careful. All my spares broke when we fell. Maybe I shouldn't use it so liberally.
Hour's up, time to wake up the princess.
*
25(?)-MR-1402
Stupid, stupid, stupid fool. I messed up, big time.
I had decided to stretch my legs out for bit, do some foraging and exploration. Both proved to be unfruitful tasks as I found no food and discover nothing I hadn't already known. Rather than returning to the princess's warm side without accomplishment, I decided to try and see if I could climb my way to the hole at the top.
Big mistake. I had gotten pretty far, almost all the way to the top, before I lost my footing and feel. The snow softened the blow, the rocks did not. The jagged edges that had served as my steps became knives that stabbed and slashed through me as I tumbled back to the bottom. If the princess hadn't awoken from all the ruckus, I might have bled to death that day. I still might; we tried converting the remains of the saddlebags and strips of my coat into bandages, but it's barely holding. We've got nothing for sutures.
It was painful, and I'm still sore from the experience, but it could have been a lot worse. I almost wish it had been though, considering how much the princess had to suffer because of my stupidity. Princess Cadence had to spend some of her magic to make sure the wounds weren't infected and had to stay up all night so I could rest.
What kind of guard am I? I've inflicted more harm on my princess than I've managed to prevent. The very least I can do is try to keep watch while the princess sleeps. Really, that's all I can do now. I can't fly, I can't fight, I can barely move.
*
26-MR-1402
It's getting much colder. I didn't notice at first, but I must have accidentally enlarged the hole above us when I fell. Snow's beginning to fall in. The wind's getting louder, stronger. I don't think we have much time. We don't have any resources, and the temperature falls by the minute, we can't stay here for long.
Option 3 is out, thanks to my little tumble. There's no way I'll be able to climb out of this cave, and the princess agreed that her carrying me in our current conditions is impossible. Help isn't coming, and we won't last much longer without food, so sitting around twiddling our hooves around won't work. That leaves option 1. Since I'm incapacitated, that leaves Princess Cadence to try to reach the nearest town and fetch help. Based on the direction the wind's blowing, we know which way she'll need to go. It shouldn't be too far away, and the princess's endurance should hold out, at least that's what I'm trying to convince myself. It might be too much for a regular pony, but an alicorn princess should be fine.
The princess is not happy with this arrangement. She is unwilling to leave me behind as injured as I am, but Princess Cadence understands the situation. She will leave after a couple hours of rest and preparation.
I am confident that the princess will make it to town, and that's all that matters.
*
The princess has been gone for less than an hour, and I'm already missing her company. Conversation between us had been minimal, but her mere presence provided some alleviation to the cold loneliness I face now. Her body was also really warm. I miss that warmth. My traitorous body is forcing me to question if refusing the princess's cloak was a good idea. A selfish question, my mind and heart reminds me, for the princess needs it far more than I. My body is in no mood for reasoning. How does that old adage go?
The spirit is willing, the flesh is weak.
I've never tasted meat before, nor do I believe I will ever, but warm cider sounds good right now. It's a pity cider's so expensive in the Empire. Nectar is so much cheaper, and sweeter, but it loses a lot of its flavor after heating.
Speaking of heating
I honestly have no idea where I was going with that. I'm just looking for a distraction to take my mind off of the princess and her current task, but there's only so much I can write about snow, rocks, and cold. They should have sent a poet; the only word I can think of that rhymes with cold is old. And gold, maybe told. Sold.
How are you, Mr. Journal? Have I been treating you alright on this little journey of ours. You've been patient, listening to all my grievances and complaints, what about you? Is the floor too wet, is the pen too dry, are your pages still holding up? For a stack of paper glued together, you're pretty durable.
Listen to me, talking to a book like I'm expecting a response. Perhaps I've already gone mad from isolation. The psychologists must have messed up, I don't have the mental fortitude to be in the royal guard. How did I ever end up with my rank?
No, that's not true, my standing in the guard is proof, proof that I am a capable guard, proof that I am reliable, strong, and handsome to a fault. So I've made a few mistakes here and there. Everypony messes up once in awhile. Granted, most ponies don't end up in a cold underground cave, alone, injured, and without supplies. Most ponies also don't have a duty of keeping a princess safe, a duty I haven't been doing a good job of doing. Well, I suppose my mistakes don't look as bad when placed beside Shining Armor and his job of keeping Canterlot safe during his wedding.
That's not fair. The Guard-Captain does a wonderful job. Given the circumstances, he performed admirably. It's not like he injured himself while doing something stupid, forcing his princess to waste their limited time and energy on him.
Bold. Bold rhymes with cold. So does mold.
I wonder how far Princess Cadence has gotten. I don't know how I'd be able to estimate her progress. The thought just depresses me. I need to take a break, maybe a quick nap.
I can't sleep. I can't afford to. Without somepony watching over me, I might never wake up again if I do. Well, back to figuring out what to write, keep myself active and awake. If I can just last long enough for the princess to get help, I'll be fine. Easier said than done, I wish I slept before Princess Cadence left.
I've noticed the snow around me is red. My wounds must have reopened, not entirely surprising, but it is a bit worrying how I hardly feel anything. I'm so numb, I can barely feel the cold. No, that's not true, I can definitely still feel the cold. If that does happen, I'll either be extremely relieved or panicking.
There's nothing I can do about the wounds, besides applying pressure. There's nothing left that I can use for bandages, and I probably shouldn't move around too much. The cold snow might help slow the bleeding, but there's always the risk of infections.
I need to take a break, my jaw hurts from all this writing. It's times like this when I wish I was a unicorn. Don't worry, I'll be back soon.
*
Almost dozed off, that would have been dangerous. Funny, one moment the wind howls so loudly outside I can barely hear my own thoughts, the next utter, eerie silence. I can see stars. The storm must have died down. I hope the princess is alright. I'm sure she is.
The stars are beautiful, like little candles in front of a dark backdrop, or fireflies shimmering over a lake. I can almost trace out the Big Dipper. There's the North Star, right above the pole.
Are my friends watching these same stars? Is Shining Armor? Is <EXPUNGED> or Tick? Is Shimmer? Are they waiting anxiously for the princess and I? Is she?
The wind's picking up again. Soon, the snow will hide the stars and the light, and I will be alone once more, with only you and my dying pen for company.
*
I can barely keep my eyes open. These words I write are blurry. Everything is numb. I need to sleep.
To whomever finds this journal, I pray that you will find the kindness in your heart to return it and my sword to the Crystal Empire, where they belong.
I'm sorry <EXPUNGED>.
Curator's Closing Notes
Princess Mi Amore Cadenza was rescued on the twenty sixth of March, year 1204, by the remnants of Guard-Captain Shining Armor's squadron. After recovering from mild hypothermia at the western colony Fortitude, the princess led Guard-Captain Shining Armor and Captain Ironhoof to the location she had left Sergeant Major of the Guard Flash Sentry.
Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and Guard-Captain Shining Armor returned to the capital after recovering this journal and the Sergeant Major of the Guard's state issued sword. His body could not be located.
The report submitted to Her Royal Council of Protection by Guard-Captain Shining Armor confirmed the presence of hostile changeling activity and led to MCS03E0130, headed by Princess Twilight Sparkle (see unofficial report open to public by First Lieutenant Pole Sight for more details) and the rescue of approximately one hundred fifty kidnapped colonists.
Sergeant Major of the Guard Flash Sentry has since been declared Missing in Action and has been awarded the Silver Star for his services.
As I've mentioned in my last letter to you, news of my demise has been greatly exaggerated. Seriously, please stop asking for my body. Sorry to disappoint, I'm not returning home in a crystal casket. I'll say this one last time, I'm not dead. A little weak, awfully tired, still recovering from frostbite and a bunch of other conditions I can't be bothered to spell or remember, but I am most definitely still alive.
I'm not going to ask you to come visit me. Train tickets are expensive, I understand. I was lucky, or unlucky, depending on how you look at it, that my studies gave me this travel opportunity. Speaking of which, please tell me how Professor Tenure is doing, I haven't heard from him for awhile. The last I've heard he was considering quitting his position and starting a new degree in botany. I hope not, I need somepony to edit my thesis and take all the credit for himself, not that I've gotten much headway on this thing. I'll figure something out soon, you know I always do.
Any news from home would be nice, really. I'd love to hear how everypony are doing. The fledgling news publications up here are still testing their wings, so all I know is from whispers here and there by nurses and patients. Is it true we're getting another alicorn princess? Please confirm.
The hospitals here aren't much different from those in Canterlot, in case you're wondering. Don't worry, I'm receiving wonderful treatment, the physicians are all professional, and the gowns even match the curtains. The crystal walls are beginning to hurt my eyes though. If it isn't too much trouble, could you send me a pair of sunglasses. Send me some donuts too, the food here is your usual hospital fare, meaning it's terrible.
The prince and princess of the Crystal Empire visited me yesterday to make sure I'm alright, so there's something you can brag to all your friends. Physically, I'm fine. Mentally, well, that's a different question.
This little adventure of mine has been quite the learning experience, and not just academically. First is that this sort of field work isn't for me. Remember when I said I'd never settle for a job behind a desk or in front of a chalkboard? Yeah, don't worry, I lied.
To be a little more serious, there were times when I thought I'd never see you again, and I began to wonder when was the last time I told you I loved you? It's frightening how unpredictable life can be, how easily regrets can pile up. There were times when I wasn't sure if I told you how much I cared. I know we've had our differences, but you were still there for me and everything.
At least I'm still around to tell you how much I love you. At least I still can. I miss you. I wish I could see you again. It's not fair, how there's so much I still need to tell you, how there's so much I wanted to do with you.
I'm sorry I'm going to miss your birthday, but I plan to stay in the Crystal Empire a little longer. According to the doctors I should be released soon, in two weeks time even, but there's still some things I need to do here. I promised I'd let some stallion take me to see the auroras in the winter. I heard they're quite beautiful.
I could be here for awhile, so keep in touch. I'll send a souvenir in my next letter.
