Vinyl, Octavia, Lyra and carrot top wake up with 4 days missing and 2500 miles, cops, the mob and 50 million in gold between them and home.
Waking up in a trashed hotel room in Los Pegasus, with no memory of the past four days, Vinyl, Octavia, Lyra and Carrot Top attempt to piece together what happened, avoid the authorities and the mob after them, and find their missing friend along the 2500 miles they have to drive to get back home, all while stealing 50 million bits worth of gold.
I didn't know what happened, didn't know how, I didn't know why, all I knew was that someone had put a small sun in my face ,the room smelt like gummy bears, my whole lower half was wet and something heavy was in between my legs.
Opening my eyes and groping around in pain I finally found them. Purple shades that acted as the sun’s greatest foe. Sliding them on granted sweet relief and I chanced a look around as my eyes grudgingly began to operate again.
The room was a mess. Upon every flat surface lay empty bottles of various types of alcohol and caffeine. Even my own sponsored drink was there telling me I could go out and do whatever it was that marketing decided to go with. Several ashtrays still smoked with cigarettes and other paraphernalia. Along with this several balloons lay around, some being blow-up dolls. For some reason a few of the windows were smashed and a patio door had been torn off its hinges. What looked like a kitchen that was located off to my left was covered in leftover food and booze. And to top it all off, almost every chair that wasn't broken was on its side. The most pressing problem at the moment wasn't the condition of the room however. No, the problem was that I didn't even recognise the room.
Looking to my own situation I found that the sun was in fact still outside, shining through a broken patio door. The smell of gummy bears and my lower half's wetness were all due to the fact that I was lying in a hot tub that was bizarrely, yet somehow unsurprising due to the state of the rest of the room, half filled with semi dissolved gummy bears. The smell developed to reveal that plenty of booze shared the space in the hot tub with the gummy bears. It was also with this that I realised that I was not alone, a grey coated mare with an extremely disheveled charcoal mane that was currently almost completely submerged in the gummy bears, except for her head, which was resting in my crotch; a colour scheme that befitted my best friend, Octavia.
It seems somewhere in my observation of the room, my friend had awoken to our current situation. Evident by her shocked expression, it was not how she expected to wake up.
We stared at each other, like deer in headlights a blush growing upon both our faces.
"I- I'm sorry, I didn't mean t-, this isn't what it looks like" she stammered throwing herself backwards. "I just woke up and I-" "What am I sitting in? What happened?" She asked, sitting waist deep in a pool of gummy bears with an utterly confused look on her face which quickly turned to fear as something undoubtedly horrific moved underneath her.
"Oh god something moved" she screamed in my ear as she leapt forward, latching onto me. Wincing I looked around her to see a bright orange maned mare covered in gummy bears and gasping for breath.
"Oh it’s just you Carrot Top" Octavia said to Carrot Top, who was now holding her head in her hooves and glaring at Octavia.
"You fucking sat on my head" Carrot Top growled "I almost downed."
Octavia opened her mouth and responded but what she said I didn't hear. All I could think about was Octavia with her hooves around me. And her body pressed up against me. I had long harbored a crush on Octavia and despite the sticky sweets in between us, it was heaven. Unfortunately it was brief as Octavia detangled herself and, well, I'd say climbed out of the hot tub but she more or less tumbled out.
"God damn, what the fuck happened here." Asked Carrot Top as Octavia got to her hooves and ambled to the window, shielding her eyes against the sun for a moment.
"More importantly, where are we?" I said, as I slowly clambered out of the tub after Octavia. Being that I didn't recognise the room we were in was a bad sign, especially given the state and former luxury of the room.
"Los Pegasus, or Prance judging by the Eiffel Tower" said Octavia from the window. Los Pegasus, the city of sin and vice. It was also at least a full day’s drive from Manehattan, where we started our night out.
"Los Pegasus? Fuck what day is it?" Neither of them answered so I looked around for a clock or something that could allude to the current time. Unluckily for us there was a wall clock near some double doors that appeared to be working.
10:47 Tuesday 14/6/14. Last time I remembered waking up it was Friday morning, 4 days ago
“Shit, C. Top go see who else is here so we can figure out what happened to the last 4 days?”
"You do it, I'm getting breakfast" replied Carrot Top, walking out the door.
Sighing I awkwardly picked up a slightly full can of some energy drink with my hooves and took a swig. How Earth ponies and Pegasi ever managed to do anything without magic I had no idea. I usually just used my magic but I didn't was to risk it with my headache being this bad. It tasted like ass but from a can that looked like it had been open for at least ten hours that was to be expected. As I moved to begin my search for other survivors I heard Octavia saying "I smell like a candy store mixed with a mini bar."
The master bedroom was not much better although far far more illegal and hazardous. Lyra, the crazy bastard, lay sprawled out on the bed. The room smelt like she had poured out an entire bar worth of sugary alcohol. Granted, that may have just been me. A case filled with just about every drug conceived by pony kind and some that weren't was open next to her told me that things just got a whole lot more complicated.
Making sure to keep a few meters from the bed, as history taught me to never get in hooves reach of a Lyra with a headache and therefore an angry Lyra, I called "Oi Lyra, wake your ass up. We got a problem."
A groan that told a thousand tales of pain was all I got in response as the pile of hangover mint pony slowly began to stir.
Figuring it would take her a while to get up I decided to make my way to what I assumed was the bathroom and discovered the extent of my condition.
My coat was matted and sticky, with some yellowish bruising on my ribs and left eye. At least I think it was my left eye, mirrors usually require some thought to understand and when you’re hungover it becomes harder than convincing an insurance company that you didn't torch your car while holding petrol and a lighter next to its charged husk. And I had experienced both. This paired with the bloodshot eyes, the few cigarettes butts in my hair and a tongue the colour of radioactive waste gave evidence to some serious drug use or worse. It wasn't that bad really, based on what I saw I hadn't been taken advantage of, and considering what a night out in los Pegasus while high on several types of drugs could do to a mare, I considered myself rather well off.
The “at least” part was the shower had not been trashed like then rest of the hotel so I was actually able to use it. Well, once I had vacated the balloons anyway.
-------------------
Lyra was the worst of the four of us, overall. Two black eyes a cracked rib, her tail missing, enough drugs and liquor to get an entire guard squadron blitzed for a night and my cutie mark tattooed on her belly ensured that at least one pony would regret last night more than I would when we found out what really happened.
"Why do I still smell of gummy" Asked Octavia, her head on the table of our cafe booth.
"It probably soaked into our skin overnight, probably be a day until it goes" said Carrot Top, breathing out smoke from her cigarette.
We were having a well-deserved, and proper breakfast in the hotels cafe, proper meaning every type of greasy food imaginable. Even Octavia, whose normal breakfast consisted of tasteless oatmeal, practically dived at the glorious food the second it had arrived.
"So can someone explain why I’m a few hundred miles from home, with vinyls cutie mark and injuries befitting a car accident?" Said Lyra testily, after we had told her what knew so far, whilst massaging her head.
"I don't remember a god damned thing" said Carrot Top.
"The same goes for me" said Octavia.
"Well the last thing I remember is picking up Bonbon in Manehattan and the five of us driving to the club, Friday night" I said racking my brain.
"Shit where's my phone, I've gotta call her." Said Lyra suddenly and panicky, searching her saddle bag.
"Why does it matter?" asked Carrot Top.
"Cause I got a message from Bonbon’s mother asking if I knew where she is."
"So?" Carrot Top said dismissively, taking a drink of juice.
"If Bonbon came with us where is she now?" Said Lyra having located her phone and dialing what was presumably Bonbons number. However it became obvious that our situation was worse than we thought as a melodic tone started to emanate from my bag. Reaching in, I pulled out the source of the noise. Bonbon’s phone.
Declining the call I said "So if Bonbon isn't with us, and she isn't home or with her phone, she's somewhere in los Pegasus or the 2500 miles of road in between here and Manehattan, possibly as hungover and messed up as we are." No one responded.
"We find out where Bonbon is obviously" I replied "make sure she's okay."
"And where do you suggest we start? ‘Cause she ain't fuckin here" replied Carrot Top loudly, gesturing around to the restaurant, causing some of the other ponies at other tables to look over.
"Please don't" groaned Octavia, her hooves on her ears.
"I dunno maybe she went to go get food and went back to the room" I replied.
"Well if that's the case, someone will have seen her, so we could ask at the front desk" reasoned Octavia.
"Good okay let's go" Lyra said suddenly, standing up from her seat, blood dripping onto the table as she moved.
"Um Lyra" I called.
"Yeah?"
"You should probably go to the doctor’s first."
"Why, I feel fine, 'sides it’s not that bad."
"You’re bleeding from the head" deadpanned Octavia.
It wasn't the first time I had seen the mint unicorn injured, Lyra had the tendency to get into fights with tough guy drunks and boorish stallions who didn't understand when a mare said she wasn't interested, and with bouncers, and her rival lawyers, also… Actually I'm pretty sure that the mint green lawyer just enjoyed fighting.
But now Lyra looked like she had gone three rounds with a train, with predictable results. With a trickle of blood running down around her eye, Lyra was staring at us with a confused look.
"Also, I’m pretty sure you have cracked ribs" I added, noting the way her chest was slightly dented in.
Lyra however ignored me and reached up to give an experimental pat on her head to test for blood. Examining her hoof closely she merely said "Nah see its gone all tacky, it'll stop any second" smiled at us, and then promptly fell over, unconscious.
"Y’know, I'm not actually surprised" said Carrot Top not having moved at Lyra's collapsed.
"C. Top, could you take her to the hospital, while me and Tavi ask around for Bonbon?"
"Why can't you do it? You're the unicorn.” She replied, indicating to my horn.
"Yeah but I have a splitting headache, so any magic is dangerous, why do you think I'm doing this?" I said raising the cup in my forehooves.
That was the thing about magic. Its Wildly sporadic due to it being affected by ones physical wellbeing, a cold is fine, Just sort of headache inducing is all, and hangovers can put you out of it when using magic. Just watch out for the flu, one sneeze can mean anything from summoning something to turning ones front door into macaroni and cheese, usually both.
"Urgh fine, if I throw out my back it’s your fault" said Carrot Top resignedly, walking over to Lyra and lifting her onto her back.
Getting Carrot Top to do anything was difficult. As a mare who ran a Ponyville farm almost single hoovedly, Carrot Top was convinced that she worked hard enough as it was that she didn't have to run errands for others and deserved what little time she got off. Her small town up bringing however meant that she had a touch of bluntness, bluntness that was only amplified when she was hungover.
"I'm surprised that she survived the night" I said, noting upon how Lyra had been in that state for at least a few hours.
"It is probably the worst I've seen her, I hope she's okay." Octavia replied with concern laced in her tired voice
"She'll be fine Lyra's a tough mare"
We sat in silence, the conversation drifting off into an awkward nothingness.
My mind drifted off to this morning. Waking up today was nice despite the hangover, the bruises and my sore back from the tub, being miles from home, losing 4 days - actually I take it back, this morning was bad in retrospect.
"Well, I think we should get this sorted" said Octavia after a few moments, standing from her seat suddenly with a certain stiffness that can only mean an awkward moment.
"I thought that was obvious Tavi" I responded as I followed her lead out of the restaurant/café.
"Yes well, given what's happening at the moment, someone with a clear mind is needed" she said as we walked in between the tables towards the exit.
"I'm perfectly rational y’know that right?”
"No Vinyl, you're' hungover, I however am merely drained from last night."
"Yeah they have a name for that, it’s called hungover.”
"Is not."
"Is to."
"No it isn't."
"Door" I replied, inclining my head as Octavia approached the door while still looking at me during our argument.
There was a dull thud however as Octavia did not comprehend my warning in time and walked headfirst into the glass pane, which proved to be much more solid than she was.
"The door says pull Tavi, not push" I said unable to keep myself from laughing.
"Oh shut up."
---------
"She's gone?"
"Yes she checked out yesterday morning, said her friends would handle paying for the room" the mare at the check in desk said in response unfazed at my outburst. We were standing at the check-in desk in the hotels lobby, ponies bustled around us on the clean marble floor, unaware of the chaos that undoubtedly took place in our hotel room and out in the of Los Pegasus. Their echoing Hoof steps only served to worsen my hangover.
"Uhh any reason why?" I asked.
"Um no she didn't say any reason that I saw, although she did seem pretty distracted at the time.”
"Did she say where she was going?"
"No sorry" she said shaking her head. "Is there anything else I can help you with?"
"Nah."
"Yes" Octavia and I said at the same time.
"Could you tell us when we checked in?" Octavia continued after half a moment.
"Hit Los Pegasus a little hard last night eh?" the mare asked.
"Yeah you could say that" I replied sheepishly.
As the mare typed on her computer for a few moments, looking up our check in date, I turned to Tavi.
"So Bonbon's gone home, without us, problem solved."
"One of them you mean" she replied.
"Well yeah, you know what I meant."
"Okay it says the five of you checked in 2 days ago, around mid-afternoon" said the receptionist, interrupting our conversation.
"Two days" Octavia noted to herself.
"Also you friend left this for you" continued the mare holding out an envelope.
Octavia grabbed the envelope and read the letter quickly.
"Thank you for the help" she said stiffly before dragging me away and towards the elevators.
As soon as our elevators doors closed, Octavia said "we have a problem."
"Thought we already had one" I replied, thinking about Lyra and the state of the room.
Octavia shook her head "no this" she replied as she hoofed me the letter.
There were only two, hoof scrawled sentences that made everything suddenly much more worrisome. It simply said: “Get out of Los Pegasus as soon as you read this. Avoid the cops. Bonbon."
Although I had noted it before, it still hit me how destroyed the hotel room was. It looked like nothing short of a bomb went off in the room. I only shudder to think of the amount of alcohol we had ingested over the past 4 days, and I was even more worried at the state of our bank accounts. I was hoping beyond hope I didn't decide to shout people drinks. The last time that happened I had to live with Lyra and Bonbon for a while. Octavia was fussing about attempting to clean to room to a somewhat decent state while I pondered the amount of problems we possibly caused.
"Vinyl, are you just going to stand there attracting flies? Or are you going to help me clean," Octavia said in a slightly annoyed tone, whilst she threw cans and wrappers into a garbage bag that she pulled out of Luna knows where.
"Oh sorry Tavi," I said, jerking out of my musings. We spent the next few hours cleaning the rooms and packing up the things we had, which was a difficult task as we didn't know what we brought.
Despite the note’s dire warnings, it was afternoon when Lyra practically knocked down the doors of the hotel room, her head and chest covered in bandages. "Afternoon fillies!" She shouted, "What’s the happs?" the door banging loudly against the wall. She was followed by a disgruntled Carrot Top. "Finally, come on we gotta get outta here, also not much," I said, heading towards them, picking up several bags and Octavia in my now useable magic.
"Wahh, Celestia damn it- Vinyl! Put me down," came from behind me as Octavia voiced her protest, tripping on her own words in indignation. I assume flailing was involved but I did not see.
"Oh great-what is it this time?" said Carrot Top behind me.
---------
"Huh."
"Huh?" I repeated taking the note back off Carrot Top. "That's your response?" "What do you want me to say?" responded Carrot Top irritatingly. "I don't know, 'well shit', 'that's a problem' 'oh Celestia, the horror, the horror', any of those would work," I replied sarcastically. "I'm not one of the flower mares," Carrot top said dismissively.
We were waiting outside the hotel for the valet to return with whatever car we drove here in. In all truth it was miraculous that we found the valet ticket when it fluttered to the ground as we walked out of the elevator otherwise someone would lose a car.
"Why are ponies staring at us?" said Octavia with apprehension. Glancing around I now noticed that there were a few ponies staring at us as the valet helped them unload their luggage or waiting for their ride. A twinge of pain in my side reminded me of our numerous injuries.
"We look like we've gone 10 rounds with a Minotaur, Tavi," I replied "and its only Wednesday." "Mostly Lyra though," interjected Carrot Top, looking away from us. Following her gaze I soon focused upon a Lyra who was intently attempting to shove her head into Octavia's bag in search for something, I would hazard a guess, but I would fear for my brain.
"What's with Lyra?" I asked "she's acting... More Lyra."
"They gave her meds for the pain," Carrot Top said pulling out a small pill bottle from her saddlebags "made her loopy." Our conversation was interrupted by a white Pontiac GTO pulling up in front of us with a few dents in it and a smashed headlight. Someone had made a big mistake.
"Ahhh what happened to you" I said, running my hooves down the body work. My sweet precious baby was damaged. Not only that but some of the interior was torn. "Overall, your car is in better condition than I thought the car would be," said Octavia. "She's been all roughed up." "Get over it vinyl, it'll buff out." "That's not the point," I cried, feeling the dents.
I admit I got emotional about my car. She's my baby, my pride and joy. Me and my pa worked on this car. It has a special place in my heart.
I stayed that way for a few minutes before opening the door, while the others loaded the bags in the boot. Well I say the others but really it was Carrot Top and Octavia spent the whole the attempting to get her bag back off Lyra who 'still needed to explore.' It took half an hour to get everything sorted and packed in the car. It was about midday now and if the note was to be believed we had to get out.
Starting the engine, I drove the car out of the car drop off... thingy, whatever it’s called, and began to make our way towards the highway. Fortunately due to the time and day, there was little traffic.
"So any idea what the hell’s going on," said Carrot Top from the back. "I thought we had established that," I said, pulling up behind a black van at a red light. "You asked that before and I answered what makes you think I know now?"
Carrot Top opened her mouth to respond but never got the chance as a sedan ploughed into the back of the car, throwing us all backwards and then rapidly forwards as we further collided with the van in front, making our heads whiplash badly, blood sprouted out of my nose as I had the misfortune to it the steering wheel muzzle first, eliciting a short honk from the horn. "What in Equestria?" Octavia asked no one in particular.
Two stallions got out of the van in front of us. One of them, a short brown stallion was pointing a pistol at us through the front windscreen.
"We gave you time to pay and failed, now you’re skipping town, gives the impression that you don't have what you owe. Doesn't it" he asked in a cocky, put on accent, someone clearly had seen too many heist movies. "What the hay are you talking about?" I asked. "Oh you very well know what."
What I did next was probably the stupidest thing I had ever done; see there's normally reason why people freeze when a gun is pointed at them. I didn't, I had a tonne of car that was about 2 yards away from this yobbo, as there van had also rolled forward. So I figured I could just gun it and take off, I didn’t want to die today, I didn’t even have a marefriend.
It’s a good thing stupid me is really lucky.
Flooring the engine, I hit the stallion before he realized what was going on and took him by surprise, a shot rang out as he fired his gun in surprise or desperation, but at that point it was tilted up and missed the car completely. Wrenching the wheel left I drove around the van and took off through the red light, barely missing a taxi that was crossing the intersection.
"They're chasing us," said Carrot Top from the back seat. I looked in the rear view mirror to see two black vans following several car lengths behind us and gaining. Changing gear, I sped up away from them, swerving around the car ahead while ignoring the sign warning me of speed cameras.
"They're chasing us," Carrot Top repeated, louder this time. "I heard you the first time," I yelled back at her over the roar of the engine. I glanced at the mirror a second time only to watch it get torn off as a bullet soared through the back window and out through the front, spraying glass onto us. We all wriggled down, taking cover behind the seats and the boot thus reducing the chance of getting a hole in the head. "They're shooting at us!" Carrot Top once again yelled. "Yes, I am aware of the situation C Top!" I snapped. "Well you aren't responding! For all I know you could be brain dead," Carrot Top replied.
"Lyra!" I yelled. Glancing back as the mint haired mare popped her head up, looking oddly calm. I wondered if the painkillers made her unaware of the situation.
Lyra looked at me questioningly, her head dangerously exposed, it was lucky that whatever asshole was shooting had to reload. "Carrot Top wants a cuddle," I said to her, taking a gamble that she was still high enough to do what I wanted her to do.
Lyra turned to Carrot Top as what I had said began to make sense to the normally cuddly and now unpredictable mare. "Don't even think about it Lyr---" she started, but was unable to finish as Lyra dove across the car and began to cuddle Carrot Top with such enthusiasm that it rendered Carrot Top unable to speak, along with tilting the car somewhat.
"You are probably the first mare to weaponise lawyer cuddles," Octavia chimed in from the foot well of the passenger seat, peeking over the back seat at the car following. "If only I could use it against them,” I replied, motioning backwards towards the ponies chasing us. “I don’t think it would be effective”
Looking in the wing mirror, it too shared a similar fate as a bullet collided with it. "Oh fucking come on!" I yelled in frustration "stop shooting my car you cockbites." The car closest was closing the gap fast and pulled up on Octavia's side of the car, spraying the side of the car in bullets.
It was at this moment I was for once glad that my baby was made of steel. While it meant that it was heavy and used a lot of fuel as a result. It also meant that it was fairly bullet proof. If it hadn't, Octavia would be riddled with holes with the first volley of bullets.
Odd it was that I was more concerned about Octavia's safety than my own. But at the time I didn't realise it. Octavia at that moment however was rummaging around under the seat looking for something.
Another spray of bullets hit the side of the car, the few that got in colliding with the centre console and giving my radio a firm and final death. I needed to get rid of these guys and fast. It would not be long before the bullets began to pierce the car and find flesh to collide with. Admittedly there were limited things that I could do. So I did the only I could do.
Wrenching the steering wheel to the right I swerved the car into the side of his. Shifting it a few meters to the left. However this also jostled Octavia who, not expecting the sudden change of direction, bashed her head against the centre console of the car.
"Damn it Scratch! This isn't a fucking movie," Octavia yelled, rubbing her head. "Well what do you expect me to do?" I asked. "This," she responded. And with that she swiftly picked up the object she was looking for and hurled it at the stallion driving the car next to us.
The lug wrench flew as true as day, spiralling like a gigantic shuriken towards the open window of the car next to us, colliding with the stallion's head, causing him to swerve wildly, the momentum however, was far too much for the car, causing it to flip onto its side and roll several times.
"Close the window next time, you classless twat!" Octavia yelled out the window to whoever would hear. Fortunately the rest didn't play out like a movie would. Usually, seemingly endless streams of cars continue to relentlessly chase after the main characters car with paramilitary weapons. upon seeing the other car demolished by a wrench, the second car backed off, stopping at the rolled car, allowing us to put them and the town firmly in the rear view mirror that I no longer had.
"I think you just killed some pony Tavi," I said after a few moments. "They started shooting at us, it was hardly my fault that they can't handle a wrench," Octavia replied, hoisting her back up on the seat. "I'm not blaming you, I just hope we don’t have to change a tire” I said dropping our speed somewhat. It wouldn't do well to be pulled up on speeding with bullet holes in the car. "Still, first mare to finish a gun fight and a car chase with a maintenance tool.” "I ran out of fruit," Octavia deadpanned, referencing to the last time she threw something in anger.
We sat there for a few moments in silence before bursting out in laughter that filled the small car. We weren't laughing because of the joke. We were laughing out of relief. Octavia was bent double, her forehead resting on the dashboard we laughed so hard I cried, so hard that I didn't even care that my car was shot up and would most likely require thousands of bits worth of repairs, or a total write off. I laughed so hard I had trouble steering the car as a result.
After a while we quietened down to giggles, having sufficiently calmed down.
"Can someone get her off me, please? Carrot Top all but yelled, unseen from the back seat as Lyra continued to hug her and attempt to bury her head into Carrot Top's fur.
"AHAHAHA"
We started laughing again. It would be half an hour before we finally calmed down again. We drove for a while longer, putting a few miles between us and the chase. “So who were those guys?” asked Octavia after a while.
“Hell if I know, but I get the feeling they aren’t after us about the room,” I replied. “What gave you that idea,” responded Carrot Top in a snarky tone of voice. “C Top, is it actually possible for you to be nice?” I asked, annoyance seeping into my voice “Or are you just one big gargantuan cunt that gained sentience, because I don’t think I’ve seen you ever be anything except a cunt.”
“Fuck you,” was the only response I got. It was a bit harsh I know but the mornings events made me a touch annoyed so that I was unable to deal with Carrot Top’s constant asshole attitude for much longer. “No seriously C Top could you just not be an ass? For once” “I agree with Vinyl to a degree Carrot Top, you have been rather unbearable this morning,” Octavia added, turning around to look at Carrot Top.
Carrot Top said nothing. Silence reigned in the car for a few moments longer. “So what were they after us for?” Carrot Top asked with no trace of malice or sarcasm in her voice this time.
I feel as if I should clarify here, see she’s not always like this. Today’s just a bad day, if she was we would not be friends. “I would guess it’s the massive case of drugs I found in the hotel room,” I responded. “There were drugs in there?” asked Octavia. “Yeah they were next to Lyra in the hotel room” I clarified “had a serious amount of drugs in there, must have been at least over twenty thousand bits worth.” “Well then, at least we can return it,” Octavia mused.
Silence once again came over the car as I assume we all considered this new fact, given the fact that they were willing to shoot us and confront us in broad daylight meant that they had little fear of the law and probably weren’t interested in being pleasant, yet… they seemed kinda amateurish, leaning a wide space for us to escape and not getting us out of the car first.
A familiar melodic tune rang through the car, interrupting my thoughts. It sounded a bit like a lyre. "Who's got my fucking instrument?" came a shout and a flail of light green hooves from the back seat. "Isn't that bonbons ring tone," Octavia asked looking in the backseat. "Gimme my lyre back!" shouted Lyra.
Now I think the appropriate word for this situation is called chaos. Utter chaos. As two mares fumbled around looking for a phone in the back seat while a half crazed half high, and half stupid lawyer flailed around demanding a harp and connecting her hooves with as many ponies as possible. All while in a car traveling at 60mph down a freeway. All I could do was keep it on the road.
To think this is the only time today I wanted to thank Carrot Top.
"SIT THE FUCK DOWN LYRA, OCTY, GET OUT OF THE FUCKING BACK SEAT BEFORE I MAKE YOU!" Yelled carrot top with a voice that would make Princess Luna proud as she simultaneously shoved Lyra back down and Octavia back into the front seat with a hoof each.
The volume hurt my ears, however it did have the desired effect as Lyra cowered into the back corner in fear and Octavia was tossed backwards, head first into the foot well of the front seat, resulting in her hind legs being splayed upwards. Makes me wish I wasn't driving. "Okay I found it," said Carrot Top after a moment. “It’s an unknown number." "Answer it" I replied Carrot Top hit the accept button and answered with a "Who's this?"
“...”
"Where the fuck have you been?"
“...”
"Why vinyl, she's driving?"
“...”
"Fine fine, don't get snappy, It’s Bonnie" said Carrot Top, handing me the phone.
Grabbing the phone with one hoof and putting the phone to my ear, I began to wonder how Bonbon knew we would have her phone.
"Yo," I answered. "Hey V, how's Lyra?" Bonbons voice came through the phone sounding a bit rougher than normal.
"Pretty high, she’s on pain killers from the doctors." “Is she okay?” Bonbon asked a hint of worry in her voice. “Yeah, she just had a few broken bones” I said, looking back at Lyra to confirm she was still fine. “It’s all good now
"that’s good,” she breathed “anyway, listen, did you get my note?" "Yeah what the hell was that about" I asked as Octavia retrieved herself from the foot well and rightened herself. "Well we may have pissed off a lot of ponies, we kinda owe money." "Yeah I noticed, we just got shot at from another car," I snapped, "How much do we owe?"
"500,000 bits."
"Five hundred fucking thousand!?" I shouted, incredulous at her short answer. "Yeah we may have bet a bit too much, but don't worry I have a plan." "And what would that be?" I asked “Oh we’re fine by the way thanks for asking,” I added. "First off how much can your car carry in kilograms?" Bonbon asked. "I dunno about 400, why?" I responded, confused at the odd question. "You remember about how I told you about a few guard ponies stole a metric ton of gold way back when, and hid it in the desert?"
I vaguely remembered the story, she was referring to an old mares tale that’s been in the guard for decades, it’s about tonne of gold that was stolen from a Saddle Arabian prince while he visited Canterlot that was never recovered and the Royal Guards chasing it found it briefly but they never showed up and the gold was gone or some such thing.
"Yeah I remember, what's your point?" "Well I think I know where it is.” “Bullshit. Where?” I asked sceptical yet excited, a tonne of gold was not a thing to simply pass on. “I’ll tell you face to face, the question is Vinyl,” Bonbon paused, “do you feel like becoming a millionaire?"