In a desperate need to eat sweets, Pinkie Pie sold her soul to Satan in exchange for a cupcake. Almost instantly being taken, Pinkie Pie must now spend eternity punished forever in Hell... or will she?
Days after Sugarcube corner completely ran out of ingredients, Pinkie Pie in a fit of desperation sought a way to eat desserts again and found herself to the company of Satan himself... or herself... itself... whatever. Selling her soul for one last cupcake, she was immediately pulled down to hell and forced to spend the rest of eternity punished for her sins, apparently.
But will hell itself even be capable of containing Pinkie Pie forever?
Author's Note: It's probably not obvious, but this is not hate fiction...
It has been five days since Sugarcube corner ran out of stock for everything. No more flour, no more eggs, no more sugar, no more chocolate, no more baking powder, no more salt, no more anything. Pinkie Pie just lay in her bed, her eyes focused on the ceiling of her room as she somehow accept her fate to starve to death... okay, that's a bit morbid but it's what she feels though.
Two weeks ago, Mr. and Mrs. Cake left Pinkie Pie to run Sugarcube corner herself while they visit Manehatten so that the baby cakes can spend time with their grandparents. The first few days are alright, business as usual until the fifth day or so. Stock was running out fast. She didn't know why. There weren't an unusually large amount of orders lately but around the next few days, Sugarcube corner completely ran out of ingredients.
"Ohhh...." the sound of Pinkie Pie's stomach grumbled for the 14th time this day "How did we run out of stock so fast? I swore Mr. and Mrs. Cake left a month’s supply..." this is all so confusing and bad for Pinkie.
Five days it has been when she had to close shop. Five days of not doing any work. She spent the first few days with her friends, but the lack of sweets finally got the better of her. Because let's be honest, there's just not much satisfaction in eating, say an apple instead of a muffin.
"Ohhhh....." eyebrows slant and her mouth dry, she turned to her toothless pet alligator slumped at its fluffy cottony basket next to her bed "Oh Gummy... I wonder what went wrong.... how did Sugarcube corner run out of stuff so fast?"
"Excuse me! I've been waiting for 3 minutes already! What's taking my cookies so long?"
The voice of an annoyed mare at the counter interrupted Pinkie Pie's meal at the stock room. "Oh - Sorry! I'm just looking for a good batch" she screamed from the room as she gobbles another cookie from the stock "NOM NOM NOM... mmm! This one's a good batch too!... maybe I should check more, I might just be hungry!" she took another cookie and shoved it with her hoof at her mouth "NOM NOM NOM.... mmmm!"
"If only there was some way I could tell how the shop ran out so fast..." She curled up to her side opposite of Gummy and heaved a sigh at her sorry predicament "I'm so hungry... I would do ANYTHING for a--"
The scent of a week-old muffin caught Pinkie's nostrils at that moment. She took another sniff no make sure, the smell was no doubt that of a week-old muffin. Where was that muffin? All of Pinkie's secret stashes are all out of treats but somepony out there has a muffin! WHO DARES HIDE SUCH A DESSERT FROM PINKIE PIE?! Following the scent, she opened her room window to see a gray pegasus, somehow acting suspicious at the town fountain.
Derpy darted her eyes or rather her good eye at every direction, making sure nopony was looking. Copping a certain spot of the fountain, she slowly removed the loose slab at the side and slowly reached for her secret muffin lovingly wrapped in paper. When the shop was running out of stock she knew she had to save what she has and hid a muffin at a secret spot at the fountain. It has been a week and she can't take the pressure anymore so she went and finally took her secret stash.
Looking at the muffin at her hoof, she gazed with childlike wonder and her mouth watered, she opened up her mouth to take a bite only to be interrupted with the sound of somepony screaming
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!" Pinkie Pie lunged from her window straight to the grey pegasus as they immediately wrestle for the muffin. Rolling over several times Derpy looked at Pinkie Pie's glare in shock as she feels the absence of the treat from her hand
Both of them realizing that the muffin was not in their reach, they both scanned the area for the dessert as they both see the it lying on its side a short distance away from them. Both jumping to the spot, Pinkie Pie almost grabbed the it only to have her victory thwarted by being pulled away by her tail by Derpy. Derpy then flung the pink mare to the side to grab the muffin only to be bucked by Pinkie to the fountain.
With Derpy confused and soaking wet, Pinkie Pie lowered her head to eat the lying confectionery only to be lunged almost instantly by the grey pegasus. Both wet and wrestling for the sacred food, they both rolled over several times on the ground, simultaneously Pinkie and Derpy rolling on top of the other. Pinkie Pie bit Derpy's wing as Derpy pound her hooves at Pinkie's face, they both fight to the death for the worthy prize of an unintelligently wrapped week-old muffin.
"G-GET OFF DERPY!"
"N-NO! THIS IS MY MUFFIN!"
"NO, IT'S MINE!"
Pinkie Pie and Derpy wrestled for victory as a huge cloud of dust gather at them for cartoony effect. For what seemed like not very long Derpy stood triumphant over Pinkie Pie lying down below her as she munch her prize from her hoof
"mmmm.... muffin!" with a happy tone, Derpy celebrated by taking another bite as she stand victorious over the mare who dared to challenge the mighty mail mare with all her derpy glory.
Pinkie Pie sighed as she lay down like a carpet, gloomy yet again that she has to endure not being able to eat a good treat. After a short while she somehow can feel Derpy feeling a bit wobbly on top of her
"...urrrrr.... I don't feel soo gooood..." the grey pegasus held a hoof over her rumbling stomach and dropped the unfinished muffin to the floor. She proceeded to fly away from the spot, feeling the need to unload
Derpy flew away from the fountain as Pinkie's eyes grew at the sight of the half-finished muffin dropped on the floor.
"Urrr.... Oooohhhh..... my tummy hurts....." Pinkie Pie laid herself on her bed again, feeling very sick from eating the week old muffin "I knew I shouldn't have eaten the muffin... but I just couldn't control myself!"
Gummy, her pet alligator just blinked its eyes to nothing in particular as it lay motionless on its basket the whole day
Pinkie Pie turned to Gummy, expectantly and attentively listening to her. maybe. She lifted the baby alligator from its basket, her eyes closed she sadly nuzzled the cute toothless alligator "Gosh gummy... I’m so hungry, I’d do anything for a.... a.... a.... aaaaaa"
Her jaw lowered and her eyes grew at the sight of a gummy alligator at her hooves instead of Gummy, her alligator... hmm... Pinkie became even more confused just thinking about that. Anyway, for some reason instead of her pet alligator held by her hooves, an alligator-shaped gummy candy was in its place instead. Her eyes twinkled and her expression gaped to a full-blown smile, her mouth watered as she slowly motion to the gummy alligator to take a bite.
"Ow!" just before she could clench her teeth to the treat, the alligator clamped its toothless mouth at her muzzle. The shock disillusioned Pinkie as she stare back at the confectionery still clenched at her muzzle only to see her pet Gummy in its place again
"Oh dear! I almost took a bite out of you, Gummy..." she pulled her pet out from her muzzle and placed the baby alligator at its basket "Silly me. I must have been hallucinating..."
She slumped herself back to her bed, even more worried about herself "Oh... I’ve been abstained from sweets for so long, I’m beginning to see things now..."
Gummy just kept himself motionless at his basket, blinking for maybe every 30 seconds as Pinkie heaved another long sigh, feeling sorry for herself.
"Ohhh....." Pinkie was not usually like this. She always feels giddy and happy around everypony, or at least most of the time. Not being able to eat some treats is such a large thing for her it brought her down almost with no effort. "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.........hhhh.....hhhh..... my tummy still hurts..."
She heaved another sigh. Pinkie became worried that she might run out of air from all the sighing she's doing while she continue to stare at the ceiling of her room "I sure hope Mr. and Mrs. Cake come home soon. I can't take it anymore... ... gosh, just listening to myself is so depressing! "
She glanced at Gummy one more time as if her pet would answer back. She gazed for a while at the unresponsive alligator, occasionally blinking from time to time to prove it has some semblance of life present
"Oh Gummy... I'd give anything for even just a cupcake right now."
There were several knocks at the front door below her room. Pinkie's ears rose when she heard the knocks repeat itself as soon as it arrived "Huh. I was sure I put up the closed sign at the door..."
The knocks repeated itself yet again making Pinkie Pie jump from her bed "Oh! It must be one of my friends. COMING!"
Going down from her room, she finally went and answered the door to see Fluttershy standing expectant of her "Oh hi Fluttershy!... wow... what happened to your coat and mane?"
Pinkie Pie answered the door to a red-coated Fluttershy with black mane instead of her usual light-yellow coat and pink mane. "ooh, nice horns! Aren't you terrified of Nightmare Night to go trick or treating?... hey.. isn't Nightmare Night past done already?"
"O-oh... I uh... yes. Nightmare Night is past done already" she responded with Fluttershy's trademarked soft demeanor, despite being a little odd matching with her new look.
"Then why are you wearing a costume?... are you? What are you even dressed up as?"
"Oh. Umm. I'm not wearing a costume, Pinkie"
"What? Yes you are! Look at your horns" Pinkie pointed her hoof to Fluttershy's horns and shook them a little.
"N-no.. P-Pinkie, this is what I really look like"
"Huh? No you don't, Fluttershy" she kept playing with Fluttershy's horns until Fluttershy shook off Pinkie's hoof.
"N-no uh.. Pinkie stop touching my horns. I'm not Fluttershy"
Pinkie raised an eyebrow at the red coated horned-pegasus "You're not?"
"Yes. I'm Satan actually"
"... Huh?"
"Y-yes... it's true"
"... Huh?"
"I am. Really. The ruler of Hell. Stop touching my horns"
Pinkie Pie let go of Fluttershy's horns again "Oh... uh... Huh?"
"Oh come on. Just because I appeared this way you won't believe me? W-Why do everypony always expect me to pop out from a ring of fire from the floor with ominous sound effects? Can't I break that clichéd entrance once in a while? Stop touching my horns!"
Pinkie Pie let go of the horns again "O-oh, sorry!"
"R-Right... Listen Pinkie Pie, I just heard you'll give anything for a cupcake"
The faces of the ponies almost met when Pinkie retorts, almost lunging at the red pony "Yes! I'll give anypony anything for just a cupcake!.. but maybe a fresh one. My tummy still hurts from the muffin earlier"
"Y-yes. I have a cupcake with me actually." The red pony held a cupcake with her hoof to show to the excited Pink pony. Pinkie Pie immediately felt insanely happy at the sight of the cream-topped cupcake wrapped lovingly. "You'll love it... It's straight from Hell's Kitchen"
"Hell's Kitchen?... pffft.... hahahaha!" Pinkie Pie giggled a little at Fluttershy, much to the confusion of the red pony "Wow Fluttershy, you're really taking Nightmare Night seriously!"
"But... I'm not kidding. It really is straight from Hell's Kitchen, and I-I'm not Fluttershy, I’m Satan! Ruler of Hell, where every bad pony go when they d-die. Stop touching my horns!" the red mare shook off her head again from Pinkie's hooves
"Ooh, sorry! I've just never seen horns like yours before! It looks so real..."
"I-It IS real!"
"Hahaha! Okay, okay Fluttershy, I’ll play along with you!"
Immediately a ring of fire encircled both Pinkie and Fluttershy as the latter transform into a large bipedal creature with a head of a goat and the legs of a bull, setting Pinkie off-balance the monster roared with a loud low tone at the pink equine "I AM NOT FLUTTERSHY!! IIIIIII AAAAMM SATAAAAAANNN!!!"
The monster then transformed back to its Fluttershy form almost as soon as it first changed "... i-if you don't mind me saying..."
"... W-Wha?..." Pinkie Pie couldn't control her shaking in front of the red mare who called herself Satan "..w-Who?... Y-you're really...?"
"Y-yes... I-I’m Satan"
"... WHAaa...." Pinkie Pie's pale and shaken expression didn't change one bit as the mare in front of her speak to the soft tone of the Fluttershy she knows "... but... w-why do you look like Fluttershy?"
"Y-yes... I tend to take the form of what everpony least expect for the devil to turn into... just a little thing I do"
"...S-S-Satan?"
"Yes. That's my name. Please Relax already Pinkie. I'm here to make a deal with you"
Pinkie's expression still didn't change, her body shaking, and her jaw barely moved with every word "Uhh.... deal?"
"Y-Yes... I'll give you this Cupcake--" Satan held the cupcake again to Pinkie Pie, making her gradually relax with the offer "--in exchange for your soul. Simple as that, really"
"My soul?" Pinkie Pie didn't take off her eyes from the cupcake as she ask the red mare "Why do you need my soul? And how do I even give that?"
"Simple. You eat the cupcake, and your soul is mine"
"Just like that?"
"Yes. Just like that"
"Hmm...." Pinkie Pie pondered for a moment, careful to consider her decision carefully. What hung in the balance was her soul and her hunger, one of which she'll have to sacrifice for the other. Becareful Pinkie. Your future and maybe the fate of Equestria lies in your decision-making skills. Choose wisely, young grasshopper. After carefully considering her options after a considerably long time, which is 3 seconds at most, she had come to a well-thought decision
"Okay! Give me that Cupcake!"
Pinkie Pie snatched the cupcake from the red mare's hand almost instantly "Good choice, Pinkie Pie. Now remember, as soon as you finish eating that cupcake your soul will be mine for eternity"
Pinkie Pie was about to throw the last remaining piece of the cupcake in her almost full mouth until Satan finished her sentence "hmm? wrairth arh mirrhnute..." she chewed down the cupcake in her mouth as she try to speak clearly, little crumbs of the cupcake escaped her mouth "you mean if I don't finish this cupcake you won't have my soul?"
"... uhhh.... oh dear..."
"YYAYY!" Pinkie jumped in glee at Satan's lack of planning "I get to eat a Cupcake AND keep my soul! hahaha!"
Satan, obviously angered by the situation transformed back into its monster form. Fire surrounded both of them as Satan bellows in anger "NO PINKIE PIE! I WILL HAVE YOUR SOUL! MARK MY WORDS!!!" with that final outburst, the devil disappeared with the fires around them and descended back to hell from a portal that opened in front of Pinkie.
She felt a lot happier that she get to keep Satan from having her soul. Pinkie looked at the small remaining piece of cupcake in her hooves "No matter what happens, I’m not going to eat you..."
Pinkie gazed at the crumb with a triumphant grin, all she had to do was to resist the urge of eating the last crumb. Easy enough, there's no way she could screw this up.
".... nnope! no way am I going to eat this cupcake! no!"
At that moment her stomach grumbled again, her mouth watered, eager for another taste of forbidden cupcake...
"...NNO! NO! I have to resist... I have to!" Pinkie Pie told herself as her hoof slowly approach her open mouth "...NO! Pinkie, you can do this. You're more than a cupcake eating machine! You have willpower! You can do this!" she prep herself as the crumb of cupcake hang between her tongue and the roof of her mouth, suspended only by the tip of her hoof
"Yes Pinkie Pie! You can do it! You can resist! PINK-IE PIE! PINK-IE PIE!" the image of several Pinkie Pies holding pom-poms and chanting her name appeared in her head, giving her more moral support than she actually needs "PINK-IE PIE! PINK-IE PIE!"
"Yes, I can do this. I CAN DO THIS!!" she then let go of the crumb from her hoof, letting it fall to the floor...
... only to be caught by Pinkie's tongue that extended from her mouth, which rolled back to its place bringing the taste of Hell's Kitchen's Cupcake in its return
"MMmmm.... Forbidden Cupcake.... Mmmm...." she savored the taste as a ring of fire appear in front of her and out appeared the familiar red-coated mare from before "Uh oh"
"W-well. That was fast"
"AHHH!" Pinkie Pie screamed as another ring of fire appeared to the spot below her, opening a portal to hell. She was able to initially grab hold of the edges of the portal, because going to hell wouldn't be nice "AAAHHH!!! EVERYPONY! PLEASE SAVE MEEE!!!!"
"Nopony can save you, Pinkie Pie! NOPONYYY!!! WAHAHAHAHAHA!!! o-oh umm.. if you don't mind me saying that is..."
Pinkie Pie lost her grip on the edge of the portal and proceeded to plummet down to the shores of Hell below
Hell seems to be a really deep place seeing as that she has been falling for a few minutes now. With the wind streaming through her coat and mane, she practically didn't anticipate to anytime land soon. Saying her aaaahs for the 57th time, she finally saw the red surface of hell below.
"aaaahhhh -- Oh look, i'm going to stop falling soon!.... wait a minute... .... Oh my gosh, why am i not slowing down?! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!"
Pinkie panicked her hooves as she fall unceremoniously to Hell's surface, her descent not slowing down even a little bit. For what seemed like... well, a while - she finally landed face first on the ground
"Ow!.... wait.. i'm not hurt... i'm not hurt!"
"W-well... not yet for you...."
Pinkie looked up and saw Satan standing in front of where she's lying. She stood up from her fall (that didn't hurt for some reason) and checked out what hell looked like
"Hmm.... this place looks more plain than i imagined" the place is nothing but a barren red land, and some flames spanning over the horizon... that's it... anticlimactic, maybe?
"Well. yes.. but this isn't the circle where you'll be staying. This is Limbo. Your place is the third circle of hell - which is Gluttony"
Pinkie turned to Satan "But this place doesn't look like a circle. Why is it called a circle?"
"O-Oh.. U-umm.... U-U-U-Uh-Uh-Uhmmm uhh.... hmm... Look, i didn't designed the place alright? I just chill here"
"Chill? But, this place is on fire. Where can you chill here?"
"It's a figure of speech, Pinkie Pie"
"Oh... so.. is the place being called a circle a figure of speech too?"
".... umm... you know... maybe?"
"Oh... alright...."
They both kept silent for a while. A hot breeze streamed through the awkward situation.
"Look Pinkie, I'm just going to send you to the 3rd circle so you can be punished, alright?"
"Wait! uhh.. can you show me the sights first? If i'm going to spend eternity in here i'd prefer to have a tour now"
"... Tour?" Satan raised a pony eyebrow at Pinkie Pie "I don't think you understand, but you're not on vacation here. You're being punished here"
"Punished? But... but why?"
"Well... mostly because you sold your soul to me... and maybe that you're a glutton"
".... Uh... okayyy...... SO, can you show me where Hell's Kitchen is?"
The devil face-hoofed before continuing ".... sure! It's on the 3rd circle of Hell"
"Oh, cool! Let's go now!"
A ring of fire surrounded Pinkie Pie and Satan as Pinkie gets transported to a dark room of indecipherable depth. Pinkie Pie found herself fully strapped by hellish branches on a chair, unable to even move her entire frame except for her mouth. Satan stood next to her, an evil grin impaled at Pinkie.
"Welcome to the 3rd circle of Hell! Where you'll be punished because of your gluttony..."
Pinkie Pie couldn't move her head so she couldn't see all around the dark room. All she could see was Satan in front of her and a light that surrounded only them, like she was being interrogated
"Normally i'd let one of the lower demons to do my work for me, but you're going to be an exception. I'll punish you myself!... if that's okay with you"
"Uhh..." Pinkie tried to move her frame again but to no avail. The only thing that is not suspended by demon branches is her jaw so she could at least speak "Umm... how am i going to be punished?"
"Well, by eternally being force-fed until you indefinitely bloat and wither, and or choke yourself!!!"
The light surrounding both of them spread over the room to reveal a ridiculous amount of cupcakes, muffins, pies, every kind of treat Pinkie can think of surrounding the room, towering them with such ridiculous height
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAAA!!!!! I have a thing for irony, you see"
Pinkie Pie's eyes glittered again at the sight of so many of her favorite treats all lined up together. If she wasn't strapped down she'd start eating by herself right now!
"So Pinkie Pie... You like cupcakes, don't you?"
"Uhuh..."
"Well..." by some strange hell magic, the confectioneries immediately floated and flung themselves at Pinkie Pie's mouth "then HAVE ALLL YOUUU WAAANT!!!! AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
Pinkie Pie started chewing every bit of treat that flew through her mouth as crumbs escape from her
"SOON, YOU WILL EXPLODE BY EATING SO MUCH - BUT NOT DIE! because you're dead already, LEAVING YOU WITH ETERNAL ANGUISH BY BEING FORCED TO EAT EVEN UNTIL YOU BECOME SICK OF THE TASTE OF THE ONE THING YOU LOVE SO MUCH!! NOTHING COULD BE A BETTER PUNISHMENT FOR A GLUTTON LIKE YOU! AHAHAHAHA!!!!"
"NOM! NOM! NOM! NOM!" Pinkie Pie didn't mind all what Satan said, she just kept eating the barrage of food entering her mouth as the devil laugh her evil laugh
"AHAHAHAHA!!! AHAHAHAHAHA!!! AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
"NOM! NOM! NOM! NOM!"
"NOM! NOM! NOM! NOM!"
Satan looked at her demon watch that materialized at her right hoof. This is taking a while. Pinkie Pie has been eating for 4 hours now, most would have begged Satan to end their anguish around the first 30 minutes
"NOM! NOM! NOM! NOM!"
Pinkie Pie is ridiculously fat now. With the hell branches keeping her in place, she kind of looks like a blob trying to escape a hair net.
"NOM! NOM! NOM! NOM!" Pinkie gulped another formation of desserts, waiting for another batch of food to enter "more please" another formation of food flew and went straight to her mouth "NOM! NOM! NOM! NOM!"
"I-I don't get it... even Jon Minnoch gave up at the first 45 minutes, and you can keep this for hours?"
Pinkie Pie didn't hear the devil talk amidst all the food she's eating. Satan continued staring at her again, her demon laugh silenced hours ago she's just being optimistic that Pinkie's going to puke or something sooner or later
"... O-okay. I think that's enough"
With a poof, all of the food around them disappeared in a flash along with the hellish branches wrapped around Pinkie Pie making her excessively plump body fall squishily to the floor
"mmph! Hrey! Whrat hrappened??" Pinkie flapped her hooves around making her look like she's doing something between trying to get up and imitating a fish out of water as little crumbs jump out of her mouth "Whrere dif awrll thra ffood gro?"
"I think the ironic punishment division is not your place. I'm going to send you to the fifth circle instead where you'll spend the rest of eternity being beaten up by demons"
Before the plump mare could react swimmingly a ring of fire yet again surrounded Pinkie Pie as she gets transported to a rocky and mountainous land filled with ponies, griffons, some minotaurs, and several creatures being beaten up by demon versions of the creatures to pulp. Every creature in this place is severely bloody and a handful even missing their claws or hooves, Pinkie subconsciously gulped in response emptying her mouth for once
"The fighting here never stops, and you never die or heal. M-Most of my subordinates will protest that you don't belong to this circle, but it is my professional opinion that a different method of punishment suits you"
FlutterSatan's soft and endearing somehow suddenly business-like voice didn't comfort Pinkie at all. "...b-but--Why? Can't i just eat forever? Did-did i say something that made anyone angry?"
"Well i am getting angry. Which probably explains why i chose this circle... maybe...."
FlutterSatan disappeared with a flash of fire, transporting herself to wherever she stays in hell. Pinkie stayed laid down at the ground, helpless and fat with no control of the chaos around her as two demon ponies approach the pink equine.
"Well, well, well... we have ourselves some fresh meat"
The demon ponies highly resembles FlutterSatan's look sporting red coat, protruded hooves, horns and black mane; The two demon ponies in question actually resemble each other so much that they seem to be twins other than the fact that one is a pegasus the other is a unicorn... or maybe a tricorn since it has three.
"Hey Pumpkin. What do you say we beat this obese mare to shape?" the pegasus demon motioned to the tricorn, an evil grin kept on its face
"Sure. I'll roast her insides with my magic while you bludgeon her with your hooves, Pound"
"O-okay. It's not often that i get two ponies in hell at almost the exact same time."
FlutterSatan stood before two ponies that abruptly fell from Equestria onto the surface of Limbo, both of which are rather dashing looking gents, if you don't mind her thinking.
"..nghh... I say, that's a rather peculiar fall" the stallion with neatly styled mane wearing a monocle and a sophisticated black suit lifted himself from the floor and glanced at the demon herself "... i do believe you look familiar"
"What? Aren't you one of the elements?" the other dashing stallion sporting a high-maintenance mane and white primp tuxedo spat an inquisitive tone at FlutterSatan "Where am i? And why do you look so different?"
"O-oh. Um, i'm sorry gentlecolts but i'm not who you think i am. I'm Satan. Welcome to Hell... Specifically the first circle of which, i don't sentence a lot of ponies to Limbo as you can see"
The stallions looked over the horizon of Limbo, not seeing a single pony in sight. The peculiar landscape unsettled both of them even more as they look back at the strange mare that greeted them.
"Limbo you say?" the grey maned stallion adjusted his monocle at the sight of the demon "How did we end up here?"
"You died. Both of you. That's why both of you are here now"
The stallions' jaw dropped as soon as FlutterSatan was done with her sentence, a bit unhinged to fully comprehend her later words "I was a bit busy taking care of something at the fifth circle so i didn't anticipate both of you coming. Anyway, would you care to tell me how you gentlecolts died? If you wouldn't mind that is"
".. well..." the monocled stallion raised his head, trying to shake away his initial shock with weak effort "I just got home after a business trip to hear moans from inside the house. The sound came from upstairs and i knew that someone was making love to my young wife, Fleur. They must have heard me because i immediately raced upstairs to find out who has been making love to her and when i got there my wife was still panting but with no stallion in sight. I searched everywhere in the room then the mansion because i knew the culprit couldn't have been far. But my heart got the better of me and... i assume i went into cardiac arrest... so i am here"
"Oh Fancy Pants, you twit"
FlutterSatan and the monocled stallion shifted their attention to the blonde-maned stallion when he made his retort "If you had checked your freezer then we BOTH would still be alive!"
"Blueblood?!" the gray maned stallion eye twitched as he heard the gentlecolt admit to his crime "YOU were the one sleeping with Fleur?!"
"Quite so. Your fault really, with beauty like hers it is a crime not to satisfy her needs" Blueblood snapped with disgust at Fancy, unhappy with his predicament all because of Fancy Pants being a terrible lover.
"I'll show you what's criminal, you ruffian!" and with that, Fancy pounced on Blueblood and pounded his hooves at the stallion
"AH! Get your hooves off me! You dare disrespect my royal lineage?!" Blueblood returned the blows to the old stallion at his wits end with their situation. The stallions wrestled each other as they pound and bite on each other on the reddish barren ground of Limbo.
"U-uhmm... Please stop fighting" FlutterSatan's soft voice was drowned out by the sound of the two fighting "Please stop" her pleads were unheard as the two continue to tear each other apart. Taking a deep breath, she started to convulse and became washed with fire as she transform into her monster form before the stallions
"STOOOP FIGHTING!!!" the loud low roar boomed through the horizon, stopping the stallions in their rampage. The two let go of the other's rumpled suit as the monster transform back to its mare form
"H-here i mean. You both can beat up each other for all of eternity in the fifth circle of Hell"
"Fifth circle?" Fancy Pants remarked as he tidy up his suit, his monocle miraculously still in its place
"Where is that?" Blueblood continued Fancy's question, even though he's uncertain if that was the right question to ask in the first place.
"Let me take you there" a ring of fire surrounded all of them as they both transport to Wrath, the fifth circle of hell. They stood over a familiar mountainous landscape populated with torturing demons, lava spouts and tormented souls gnashing their teeth.
"Welcome gentlecolts to the fifth circle of Hell! Where you'll be punished forever by being beaten fo--" She stopped her sentence as she notice the place totally absent of torturing demons and tormented souls "... What the hell?"
For no apparent reason the trio started to hear a sort of moderately paced upbeat music highly out of place.
Pinkie is jogging along the rocky surface of the fifth circle of Hell with the twin demon ponies following behind her.
"My name is Pinkie Pie♫ - Hello!" She waved her hoof at a demon pony and a stallion in mid-torture, both of which gleefully waved back at her
"And I am here in Hell♫ - How 'ya doing?" she greeted a mare missing a hoof, which also waved back at her
"At first i want to cryyy♫ But now -- I guess that i'm O-kaaaAAAYY!♫"
She instantly appeared between Fancy Pants and Blueblood "It doesn't matter now♫ - What's up?"
"If you are just or cruel♫" she placed her hooves at the shoulders of Fancy and Blueblood respectively "Howdy!"
"but staying here in HEEELL♫ Does not-- mean we'l be filled with gloom!♫" on her way to the chorus, she jumped back to the crowd of demons trotting with her
" 'cause iiii'll - make sure - weeeee'll - be fiiiilled - wiiith - gleeeee!♫"
The demon pegasus joined the song "Yes she would!♫"
"I'll rid your hearts of Hell's wrath all the whiiiiile♫"
The demon mare also joined in "Yes she must!♫"
" 'cause all i really need's a SMILE! SMILE! SMILE!♫ - from these demon friends of MINE!♫"
FlutterSatan's jaw just kept dropped as Pinkie jumped to the beat
Pinkie Pie approached a random demon flaying a stallion with a whip "I'd like to see you grin♫"
"Really?" The demon gave Pinkie a huge smile, showing off its sharp teeth.
She turned to the stallion "I'd like to see you beam♫"
"Uh, What?"
"The corners of your fangs turned up, is always Pinkie's dream♫" She grabbed the two by their shoulder and they used the whip as a jump rope for no reason.
"Horn bump!" Two other demons bumped their horns together, for no reason also.
Pinkie frowned as she saw a mare looking forlorn in the distance "But if you're kinda angry♫ By the fact that you're in Hell♫"
She instantly appeared next to the mare and gave her a cupcake from wherever she keeps her stuff that she probably got from Hell's Kitchen "I'll open up and do my best - to turn your stay here really weeeeell!♫" The mare took the cupcake and bit it with a smile.
Pinkie Pie then launched through the air with rainbow glitter trailing behind her
"Bust it out from ear to ear - let it bee-giin!!!♫" Pinkie Pie continued flying over hell as several demon pegasus joined her flight
"Just giiive me a joyful grin grin grin!♫--" She hovered low over the mountainous terrace of Wrath and glided towards Satan
"Fill this circle with good cheer!♫"
Smoke blinded Satan as Pinkie Pie land directly in front of her. FlutterSatan waved her hooves around to push away the smoke and saw Pinkie Pie staring at her with sad eyes
"It's true that Hell is dark aaaand torture-yyy♫...." Pinkie held a hoof at Satan.
"And it really made me sad♫ but Satan here showed me that staying here isn't that baad♫..."
FlutterSatan immediately looked around her hoping that Pinkie really didn't meant her, confused and wondering where she got her idea.
"There's one thing that makes me happy and makes my stay here worthwhiiiile♫"
"And that's when I talk to demons and get them to smiiiiile♫"
Pinkie grabbed FlutterSatan's gazing cheeks and stretched them upwards "So SMIIIIIIIILE!!!!!♫♫"
Pinkie let go of FlutterSatan's cheeks and trotted away following the beat, so did Fancy Pants and Blueblood finally leaving FlutterSatan still trying to understand why a musical is happening in his favorite circle of Hell
"I really am so happy♫ Even Hell is full of glee♫"
"I give a smile♫ I geeet a smile♫ Another cupcake for me, please?♫" A demon with a chef's hat threw her a cupcake and she gobbled the whole thing with her mouth, wrapper and all
"AND IIII LOVE HELL'S KITCHEN'S TREATS!♫ TREATS!♫ TREEEATS!♫"
"Yes i do!♫"
doo doot doot.
"Tell me what more can i saaaay to make yoouuu seeee♫"
"That i do?♫"
doo doot doot.
"It makes me happy when you beam♫ beam♫ beam!♫'
"It makes staying here so GREEEEEEAAAAAAT!!!!!♫♫"
A rainbow appeared over the horizon, accenting over Pinkie Pie and the demons following behind her looking awesome as hell. The demon twins carried Pinkie Pie by their backs and the crowd of different kinds of demons and tortured ponies trotted behind them as they all parade through the circle.
"Come on everypony -- smile, smile, SMIIILE!♫♫ Rid your hearts out of HELLFIRE!♫ HELLFIRE!♫"
Everypony - the demons and the tortured souls finally sang along with Pinkie, because of course they know the lyrics of the song - everybody knows the lyrics of the song! "All she really need's a SMILE♫ SMILE♫ SMIIIILE♫ -- go and make our stay so FIIIIIIINE!!!♫♫"
"It's the perfect place to beeee!!!♫♫" as everypony in the background is chants "Smile! Smile! Smile!" Pinkie just appeared out from the picture and is directly facing you, dear reader.
"Psst. you thought I wouldn't break the 4th wall at this story, did you? Well you're wrong. Hi reader! -- Ahem, -- Give a smile, it's neever a criiime!♫ Makes even Hell so great to seeeeee!♫"
"Smiiile...♫"
the crowd echoed the best chorus for a song ever "Smiiile...♫"
Another, because everypony can't get enough of the word "Smiiiiile!♫"
Fun Fact: Singing in a crow hides the fact that you can't sing "Smiiiile!!♫"
Pinkie spun around, facing the sky while the crowd circled around her, hooves together chanting like they're trying to summon the god of smiles
"Go on and - SMIIIIIIIILE♫♫!!!!" at this point, 99 red balloons flew atop everypony, streamers streaming everywhere at the sky above, fireworks showcased the crescendo of everypony singing as they reach the finale of their performance
"Just freaking smile!♫"
The music stopped and everybody froze as Pinkie give FlutterSatan an unnerving stare. Everypony froze at their spot, the balloons and streamers stopped floating and streaming in mid-air, leaping flames at the shores of hell stopped animating, even somepony who jumped in mid-air before the finale kept stationary in mid-air. Nopony blinked as the sound of crickets enter from the horizon. FlutterSatan didn't try to lift her jaw as red eyes lock with cheery cerulean eyes. She tries to reason but nothing made sense, and from all she saw happen so far, nothing probably will.
"...Wha.... What... How--"
"What?"
"Huh?"
"Huh?"
".... What?"
"... Umm..... What?"
"WHAT?"
"What?"
"STOP! What is going on around here?!"
The pink equine just shook her head, expecting Satan to know better "Duh, everypony knows what's going on!" she took a deep breath and faced the crowd in still life behind "This is A - PAAAAAAARRRTYYYY!!!!!"
Everypony cheered in unison and the balloons continued to float, streamers continued streaming, fireworks continued their show, the pony in mid-air got back to the ground, everypony continued about their business.
Satan grabbed Pinkie's shoulder and made her face the obviously stricken demon "WHAT?! How did you do all this?! This never happened before!"
"Great isn't it?! Since that everypony isn't happy staying here in hell - being forced to be beaten up, and being forced to beat other ponies up - i figured i'd help spice the place up a bit!"
FlutterSatan took a glance at the crowd before them, dancing and chatting like this circle is hosting a party. Lower demons that she appointed personally to oversee the punishment being brought on everypony singing karaoke, Tortured ponies drinking punch, a white mare with spiky mane is mixing beats at a turntable.
"Is that Vinyl Scratch?"
"Yup! I thought i'd ask her to help me set this place up! She's always ready to lend me a hand"
"But... she isn't scheduled to die yet"
"Oh no! She's not dead"
"Then how did she?!--... How did you--?!.... AARGH!!"
Satan transformed into her monster form - somewhat even larger than before. Towering over everypony almost a mountain tall, her giant goat hooves made the ground tremble as she pick up Pinkie Pie with her red claw pinched at Pinkie's back, suspending her a mile from the ground. The pink pony's mane swayed from the monsters nostril as it exasperate a huff
"YOU ARE VERY TROUBLESOME TO KEEP. I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO SEND YOU TO THE WORST CIRCLE IN HELL!"
Pinkie immediately felt the air cool down below her as she take a peek below to see the ground floor sunk open to reveal an icy wasteland far beneath the barren ground of Wrath.
"I'M SENDING YOU DOWN TO THE LOWEST CIRCLE IN HELL. WHERE THE TRAITORS ARE FOREVER FROZEN - FULLY AWAKE, BUT PERPETUALLY COLD AND LIFELESS"
".... that sounds bad"
"IT IS BAD. THE INSTANT YOU GET THERE YOU'LL BE FROZEN IN A GIANT ICICLE. I DOUBT YOU'D BE ABLE TO MESS THINGS UP IN THAT CIRCLE!"
"But why?! I just want to make everyone happy!"
"NOBODY'S SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPY IN HELL! NOT EVEN ME! i mean ESPECIALLY IN MY FAVORITE CIRCLE!!"
Satan released the pink equine from her grip and let her slip almost instantly to the gaping hole below leaving no time for Pinkie to scream as if she was being sucked into the hole below. With a quick whiiiiip! sound effect, the hole below closed almost as fast as Pinkie fell in it, looking as if it didn't opened at all.
"... WHAT THE? WHAT ARE YOU ALL LOOKING AT?" after letting Pinkie fall to the lowest circle of hell, everypony and every demon gazed at Satan's towering form "GET BACK TO TORTURING AND BEING TORTURED ALREADY!!"
"Hey man, that wasn't very nice throwing Pinkie Pie from the party"
"AND YOU--" Satan pointed to the white mare "GET THE HAY OUT FROM HERE ALREADY!"
Pinkie's swiftly fell to an icy wasteland closely resembling the last circle she was in - only this time everything's frozen of course, and instead of lava spouts there are frozen lakes. Pinkie stood up from her fall that didn't hurt for some reason too and spun around to see instead of demons and tortured ponies - there are just ponies frozen in ice.
"Oh dear! Why is everyone frozen?"
"Heck if i know"
Pinkie turned to the direction of the voice reverbing from a giant icicle. A beige stallion with long unkempt mane and long curly beard and mustache standing inside a giant icicle, his body frozen in place leaving little room for his jaws to move.
"Woah! You're alive!"
"No, i'm dead. Nopony's alive anymore little filly"
"Oh - right.. i mean - you can talk!"
".... uhh.. yeah"
"Uhh... i mean - uh.. aren't you frozen? Shouldn't frozen ponies.. you know, actually be frozen?"
"Everypony here is frozen from the hooves up - except our heads, so all we can do really is talk and move our eyes. Watch"
The stallion inside moved his eyes around, the irises darting to and fro like an insect trying to escape.
"Whoa... That's cool!... and creepy!"
"I know, right?"
"But - how come everypony here is frozen from the hooves up except for their mouths?"
The stallion inside rolled his eyes for effect. There's nothing he can really do, being frozen and all so he takes what comfort rolling his eyes could give "Something about giving Satan the joy of us screaming in agony for all eternity, I don't know"
".... Huh? Why is that? I've never been frozen before, does it hurt?"
"Well yes, my good lady"
Pinkie turned to the direction of the other voice, its accent akin to her good friend Rarity "You'll feel every inch of your body immobile. From your flesh to your blood, everything would turn into chunks inside and they all hurt. We're not completely frozen either, so our nerves can pick up the excruciating pain we constantly suffer."
".. That sounds really painful"
"Eh, only for the first few months"
Pinkie turned back to rugged beige stallion "Don't get me wrong, it still hurts as hay but you kind of get used to it sooner or later"
"Oh.... then--"
"Oh fiddlesticks! Satan is coming - quick everyone, get back to screaming!"
Everypony frozen inside the giant icicles immediately began moaning in pain, some are begging their anguish to end and some are just saying random gibberish.
[OH, THE PAIIIIIN!!!]
[PLEASE! LET ME OUT! MY INSIDES REALLY HURT!]
[I HAVE COLD URTICARIA!! I'M ALLERGIC TO COLD! IT'S A REAL CONDITION - REALLY! - ACHOO ACHOO!]
[I CAN'T FEEL MY BONER! I CAN'T FEEL MY BONER!]
[WHAT? YOU MEAN YOUR BONES RIGHT?]
[YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I MEANT! MY BONES!]
[PLEASE LET ME OUT JUST THIS ONCE! I FARTED INSIDE HERE MONTHS AGO AND THE SMELL STILL WON'T GO AWAY!]
[HE'S SAYING THE TRUTH! I'M RIGHT BEHIND HIM AND I CAN SEE FART JUICE AT HIS RUMP! OH SWEET CELESTIA!]
[MY WORD, EVERYONE IS SO DISGUSTING! I DEMAND TO BE PLACED IN A DIFFERENT CIRCLE!]
[OH CELESTIA, WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN US?]
[THIS IS HORRIBLE! I'M FROZEN NEXT TO A DAMN PREACHER!]
[I'M JUST BEING SENTIMENTAL, YOU BRUTE!]
[DAMN IT EVERYONE, WE'RE SUPPOSE TO BE IN MOANING IN PAIN HERE!]
[WE ARE IN PAIN! I'M SITTING IN MY MONTH OLD FART JUICE FOR CELESTIA'S SAKE!]
Pinkie Pie's bewildered look finally centered onto the familiar monster form of Satan as she descend from the large hole where Pinkie fell from. Both surrounded by screams of pain among other things, she flinched as Satan's large hooves thumped the frozen floor
"Sorry that i took a while, i sent Vinyl out from Hell first. Anyway, WITNESS AS YOU JOIN IN THE SCREAMS OF AGONY AND HOPELESSNESS THAT SURROUND YOU, PINKIE PIE!"
The giant lifted a demon claw as it glow in fiery red light and summoned ice from beneath and enclosed the pink pony.
"MUWAHAHAHAHA!!! NOW! I DOUBT THAT YOU'D BE ABLE --*cough* *cough* *cough*"
Satan transformed back to her Fluttershy form, still coughing for some reason "*cough* *cough* *cough* - ahem. Oh dear, my power is getting through me. *clears throat* ahem, where was I?" FlutterSatan approached the large icicle enclosing Pinkie within "O-oh. Yes. Um. I doubt that you'd be able to wreak more havoc in this circle, seeing as that you're trapped inside there"
FlutterSatan waited for a moment, expectant of something from Pinkie. After a few more seconds she neared her head to Pinkie's icy tomb "You should be writhing in pain now"
Pinkie Pie snapped and took this as her cue "Oh! uh-OWIE OWIE OWIE! OH! THE PAIN! OW OW OW!"
A bit uncertain and not fully satisfied. FlutterSatan raised an eyebrow at Pinkie at first, but decided to give it the benefit of doubt and used her pegasus wings to fly to the opening above, leaving everypony to their pain.
"OWIE OWIE OWIE! OW OW OW! HELP ME! ANYPONY! PLEASE SAVE ME!"
"Don't worry kid, you'll get used to the pain soon. A month minimum."
Pinkie tried to turn to the beige stallion at her left, but realized her head is kept in place and the rest of her body frozen inside out "Actually, i don't feel hurt. I'm just frozen"
"... What?" the sophisticated stallion to her right tried to lift an eyebrow but couldn't "What ever do you mean? Everypony here felt very painful at first"
"I don't know. Hey everypony! look, i can move my eyes like you guys too!" Pinkie rolled her eyes for several times "Cool huh?"
"Eh, I've seen better" the beige stallion rolled his eyes in competition to Pinkie "Hah"
"Well, that's a sight!" Pinkie rolled her eyes in response.
"EYE know, right?" the beige stallion rolled his eyes too.
"Yes! And it sure is EYES-cold here!" Pinkie rolled her eyes.
"Haha! Yeah, EYE SEE!" the beige stallion rolled his eyes.
"Oh good heavens" the white stallion rolled his eyes.
"Hey! stick with the pun!" the beige stallion rolled his eyes at the white stallion
"I don't see the point in doing so"
"Ah - there you go!"
"Wait, hold on-" Pinkie tried to turn to the beige stallion "nngh! nngh!" for some reason her body won't move "nngh!.. oh wait, i'm frozen" haha "So, what was that all about back there? Why did everypony started screaming when Satan was coming?"
"Oh. Well, remember when i told you earlier that you'd get used to the pain? Yeah, we all figured we have to fake it once in a while when Satan checks up on us. You know, the fact that we're suppose to suffer here and all. Last time Satan noticed one of us not really in much pain, Satan transferred the pony to a different circle - and we figured there are worst things happening to everypony in other circles so..."
"Oh...." Pinkie took a moment to ponder all this. So, the lowest circle happens to be the least painful? "Satan thought this circle was the worst"
"Yes, that fellow isn't really the sharpest tool on the shed" the rugged stallion and the pink mare turned their eyes at the white gentlecolt "personally, i think he's just misunderstood - being the image of evil and whatnot. I always feel that his maniacal laughs are a bit forced, it's like he doesn't even like his job"
"Really? Wow, i didn't thought of him that way. Wait. Is he a mare or a stallion?"
"I honestly don't know. You could argue that he's asexual, but Satan seems fond of his or her mare pegasus form"
"Hey pink pony! I just realized we haven't got your name yet"
Pinkie Pie turned her eyes at the beige stallion beside her icicle prison "My name's Pinkie Pie! But you can call me Pinkamena Diane Pie for short. Pinkie will do. How about you?"
"I'm Judas Carriage - and that frissy stallion beside you is Anthenor Trot"
Pinkie didn't stifle a chuckle "Haha! Your name is Carriage? And yours is Trot?! AHAHAHA!"
"Hey cut it out already. I already suffered for that in my past life, give me a break now"
"I too have my fair share of contempt. Say, what are you in here for anyway Pinkie Pie?"
Pinkie turned to Anthenor, her brows neared together at the question "Oh! I don't know really. I've been to the third circle and just recently the fifth one. Now Satan sent me here because I probably made him angry. How about you?"
"I'm here because I betrayed my country by opening our gates to the enemy... I have nothing more to say, I'm just appalled that i have to spend eternity here just for that, I have done many good things in my lifetime"
Judas spoke up "I'm here because.... well, i'd rather not talk about it actually"
"Oh my.... Why are you chatting?"
The three frozen ponies got set back to reality by the sound of FlutterSatan's voice. Everypony else actually have been doing their routine fake panic while they have been too occupied to notice, for some reason all three of them felt the barriage of screaming around them could not drown out the sound of FlutterSatan's flaring nostrils
"You're making me look bad to the big pony on top, Pinkie... nobody's suppose chat here, Pink...iee........" FlutterSatan's soft voice had a very subtle tremble to it - The sound of somepony about to explode
"O-Oh-- Hi Satan! How-w-w long have you been standing in front of u-us?"
"Pinkie Pie! PINKIE PIE! Come on and get out here already!"
Rainbow Dash continued pounding on the door of Sugarcube Corner, expecting to see the pink mare giving a no-show for days "Come on out already, Pinkie! You've been cooped inside there for days! Everypony's worried about you. Especially when you pounced on Derpy just a while ago"
Rainbow looked up to the second story of the store and saw the window at Pinkie's room wide open. "Pinkie!" using her wings, she hovered to the top and peered through the window "Pinkie! You in there? Come on and get out already! We got tons of pranks to catch up with"
Inspecting Pinkie's room, all Rainbow Dash saw of note was a slightly untidy empty bed, a sleeping Gummy, and really - just no sign of Pinkie Pie being inside "Pinkie? Tsk. Where are you?" Rainbow hovered through the window and landed in front of Pinkie's bed facing her "Pinkie? Stop hiding already, I just want to check up on you. Also, where did Vinyl go? Carrot top said you were the last person she saw with her"
Immediately, Rainbow Dash felt the ground tremble and crumble beneath. Rainbow Dash kept her pace for a moment and felt that the sound is coming from near the town fountain. She flew from the room through the window she came in from earlier, braving herself for whatever is happening.
A large ring of fire ignited between the fountain and sugarcube corner, inside of which she can see a fiery tunnel to probably the depths of Equestria. Rainbow hovered with care, avoiding being singed by spouts of fire erupting from the ring. After a few moments a red coated doubled horned pegasus flew from beneath, carrying a familiar pink pony by her tail with her mouth. The red pegasus spun around and threw the pink pony to Sugarcube Corner's direction, almost just below Rainbow herself
"YOU CAN HAVE YOUR SOUL BACK - JUST DON'T COME BACK HERE ANYMORE!!"
The red pegasus started to descend back to the depths as the mare notice Ranibow Dash hovering close.
"Oh, hey Rainbow Dash"
"Hey"
And with that, the horned pegasus flew back to where she came. The ring of fire faded, and the ground transformed back to the way it was.
Rainbow Dash approached Pinkie Pie, confused and a little cold "Pinkie, what happened?"
Pinkie stood up, aching from the throw and feeling a slight headache coming "Long Story"
"What?... You sold your soul for a cupcake? Really?"
"Hey, I was hungry! Do you know how hard it is to suffer not eating desserts for days?"
"Uh - YEAH i do! About as hard as flying maybe! What's wrong with you? Wait. Don't answer that question"
Pinkie shuffled a hoof to the ground "... So, what brings you around Sugarcube corner anyway?"
"Well, i was just checking up on you. Everypony is really worried"
"Oooh! Did you bring me some cake?"
"What? Pinkie, yours is the only place we get desserts!"
Pinkie was about to comment about her secret stashes until she heard a booming voice from above "PINKIE... PINKIE...." she turned up to the sky and saw a beautiful light descending from the clouds
"Oh! Rainbow, did you hear that?"
"Yeah, somepony up there is making a huge thunderbolt"
"Huh?"
"PINKIE... PINKIE..." The booming voice continued to shake around Ponyville making the pink party pony look up again in the sky where the voice was coming "THIS IS THE LORD THY GOD"
She pointed her hoof towards the sky "There! Somepony is talking to me!"
Rainbow Dash looked up at the relatively peaceful looking cloud at the sky "...What?"
Pinkie felt the ground shaken and heard the voice continue "ONLY THINE EARS ARE OPEN TO THE VOICE OF THE LORD, PINKIE. IT IS MY WILL"
"What? Will? Who's Will? Ferrell?"
Rainbow Dash swept a confused look to Pinkie and the cloud she's talking to repeatedly to and fro, sense not described "... wwWhaat?"
"I HAVE CHOSEN YOU AMONG PONIES, MY DAUGHTER, TO PROCLAIM THE WORD OF THE LORD"
"Daddy?! What are you doing up there?!"
"Pinkie, what in Equestria-"
"SPREAD THE GOOD NEWS, MY FAITHFUL SERVANT. EVERYTHING IS IN ACCORDANCE"
"But Daddy, I'm working at Sugarcube Corner, remember?"
"OH ME DAMN IT! JUST GET UP OVER HERE!"
The sound of angels singing entered as beautiful rays of light descend from the cloud. Suddenly, Pinkie Pie felt herself floating from the ground and levitated straight to the heavens.
"PINKIE?! WHAT- HUH?! WHAT--?!" Rainbow Dash was at lost for words, not that saying anything would do much at the situation. Rainbow Dash is too astonished to follow Pinkie Pie's ascension, and so just stared at her uncool-like until she disappeared in the clouds...
The singing of angels came with Hallelujahs as Pinkie looks upon the face of God...
