How Dare You Do?
Daring Do sighed and peered over the edge of the cliff.
Below her, surrounded by jungle on all sides, the great monoliths that bordered the temple were scattered. Trunks were uprooted where the blocks had smashed their way through. The temple itself was little more than a pile of rubble, barely visible behind a column of black cloud.
She dusted off her wings until the feathers stopped smoking. It was going to take forever to get out the soot stains. Still, she thought, looking down at her shining prize, it had all been worth it.
Grinning with victory, Daring was about to reach down and pick up the talisman when she heard leaves shuffle nearby. She looked left and right, along the row of trees on either side.
"I know you're here!" she said. "Come on out!"
Let me guess where you are, she thought. Nothing moved for a while. Daring kept absolutely still.
The bushes erupted behind her. She only just had time to duck when something hummed over her head and struck the nearest fig trunk. The wood split clean in half. The top of the trunk plummeted down the cliff, and Daring's eyes widened after it. Her head turned to face the attacker.
"You have got to be kidding me," she said.
"Isn't it wonderful?" said Ahuizotl.
In one blue hand, he gripped a wooden hilt. The blade attached to it looked like a shard of black glass and gleamed like malevolent oil, and Ahuizotl wielded it with disturbing grace; he was clearly no stranger to swordsmanship.
"I call it the macuahuitl. It is a proud family heirloom of mine. Even after all these centuries, it's so sharp it can cut a mare's head clean from her shoulders." There was a hum as it sliced through the air, leaving white contrails. "Care to see a demonstration?"
"You yak too much." Daring braced her legs. Behind her, she guided her prehensile horse tail around the thing lying in the grass.
"Maybe so, Miss Do," he said, "but those are the last words you will ever speak."
The brute lunged forwards. Daring reared back, forelegs wide apart. Her neck just avoided the very tip of the blade before she fell backwards and disappeared over the cliff edge.
Headfirst she fell, seeing the sea of green spidery leaves rise up to meet her. She grinned at the feel of her mane flapping all around her face. She wished, sometimes, that cliffs could be taller, just so that she could enjoy the rush of air for longer.
Both wings slid out. They caught the upthrust of warm air and her fall curved into a swoop. A quick flip over and she was winging it towards the orange sky. Straight up, she thought. Her safari hat wobbled, threatening to come off, and she put a hoof on it to keep it still.
On the cliff edge, Ahuizotl watched her ascent with narrowed eyes. She saw him hack at the surrounding vegetation in fury and waved down cheerfully. "Better luck next time, Ahuizotl!"
"CURSE YOU, DARING DOOOOOOOOO!" That was all she heard before the purple clouds of sunset obscured her view.
Daring Do flipped over. Below her, hills and valleys of clouds spread out and drifted. It was wonderfully cool up here. Slipstreams crisscrossed her outstretched wings, as refreshing as a dip in a crystal clear pool in the tropics. She could hear the calls of jungle fowl as though they were all around her, but that was just the echo from the canopy far below. Up here, she was blissfully alone with her thoughts.
Her wings adjusted for a new flight path. Daring banked slightly to the left and flew towards the setting sun.
"Totally irresponsible," said the unicorn, forelegs folded on the desk. "Damaging, thoughtless, and completely wasteful."
He was sitting up to a desk, the giant blackboard looming up behind him. Everything in the room was grey, or black, or white. It was like an oily tsunami that threatened to oppress her with its weight.
Daring hated the lecture room. She'd come in here often, but however high the ceiling was, it was still stifling. She might as well have been stuck in a tidy prison cell. Hundreds of student seats rose up in rows and rows behind her like auditors. Her wings shivered.
"I got the talisman, didn't I?" she said. It lay on the desk between them and seemed to be losing its colour to the surroundings, as heat from fire is lost to surrounding arctic snow.
"You did indeed, but at what cost, Miss Do?" He adjusted the flaps on his dinner jacket. A report floated off the desk. "One genuine Pleistocene-age temple reduced to ashes. Damage to several antique bamboo technologies. Irreversible loss of several indigenous rare species, particularly the Humming Zilopotchli -"
"It was a giant flaming hummingbird. I wasn't going to ask it nicely."
"Nevertheless, Miss Do." He turned back to the paper. "Irreparable damage to several museum faculty tools and the loss of some key camping equipment - which, I might add, was not our property, but loaned to you by a very generous sponsor. I fear they will not be particularly generous after this little debacle. And lastly, complete destruction of the temple monoliths."
He looked at her over his glasses. "Well. What have you got to say for yourself this time, Miss Do?"
Daring flinched as the paper was slammed down. It's funny, she thought, I can take down a solar-powered killer bird and any number of bamboo-made temple deathtraps, but a few minutes in this room and suddenly my tongue's out to lunch and doesn't want to come back. "Erm," she tried.
"Nothing," he said, shuffling the papers. "As usual."
"It was worth it, wasn't it, sir?" she managed to say.
"You really think so," he said. A sigh escaped from his lips.
Daring was bursting to speak. The words were flashing through her mind as she stared at him. You need me, sir. There's barely any staff to speak of in this department. I earn my way, just like everypony else. Besides, it works this way, you know? Those passages are almost always major deathtraps. It's best somepony experienced goes in and clears it out. And of course we still get the most valuable stuff out for the museum, so in a way we still turn a net profit. Besides, without me half the faculty would be skewered on pikes or devoured by alligators by now. We've worked together for a long time. We can sort this out. We always have.
All that came out was: "Er..."
"Now look here, Miss Do," he continued. "We won't press charges this time. But only on the condition that you desist from all further expeditions to the Amaponian jungle."
"Sir, surely not -" she began. A dry stare silenced her.
"That you desist from all further expeditions to the Amaponian jungle. We're taking you off the Pleistocene project indefinitely. You can do some proper archaeological work around here for a change."
"B-But I -"
"I'm sorry, Miss Do, but that's how it is."
She slumped in her chair. Her boss levitated the briefcase from the side of the desk and trotted over to the door. Just as she noticed that he'd left the talisman on the desk, it glowed blue and followed after him.
"Wait a minute," she began. The door slammed. It took a long time for the echo to die away.
Daring glared at her knees. Pencil pushing, she thought bitterly.
"Happy Birthday, Daring Do," she muttered under her breath.