Cadence is bored, and being the princess of love, she can do anything involving it.
Cadence is bored, and being the princess of love, she can do anything involving it. What better to do with those powers than to troll many of Equestria's inhabitants?
Princess Cadence was staring out her window down at her empire, and all of the crystal ponies going through their daily lives. She watched every little thing her subjects did. She watched as little foals ran around the streets playing games, and shouting at friends. She watched as mares went to the spa, quilt shops, jewelery stores, all sorts of girly stores and buildings. The stallions went to typical stallion places, hunting stores, strip clubs, and just about everywhere their wives weren't going. Why the Crystal Empire had strip clubs and hunting stores was unknown, it's illegal to hunt anything, plus most every pony is naked anyways, so why pay for strippers? Cadence stared and stared, watched and watched. She wondered if any of the ponies below her felt the same way as her. After a couple minutes, she heard someone knock, then the door opened up and a white stallion in guard's armor walked in.
"Good morning Princess Cadence. I just came in to check on you." he said.
"Morning Shining." she responded.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I'm not Shining, I'm the new guard, Steel Blade."
"No, I'm sorry, it's just, you're exactly like him in almost every way." She wasn't lying. The only difference was the cutie mark, Steel had a sword in place of Shining's shield.
"It's ok, so, how are you doing?"
"Good, just bored."
"Why are you bored Cadence?"
"It's just, my life is so predictable. I live in a castle with hundreds of rooms, some of which haven't been opened in thousands of years, I rule a kingdom with countless subjects, I have a husband who will never do what you expect he will, and I can't even have fun with my magic. I can't troll people like Celestia over there." She pointed at a white alicorn who was torturing random ponies by switching their body parts around, she wasn't completely evil, so she fixed them after a few minutes.
"Who said you can't use your magic in impish ways?"
Cadence looked at Steel. "You're right, nobody says I can't, so why won't I? Oh, but I don't think that 'impish' is strong enough of a word."
"Devious?" Cadence shook her head. "Devilish?" Cadence shook her head again. "Holy shit this is pretty evil." Cadence nodded and grinned evilly then left the room.
"What have I done?" Steel Blade was confused on what to do now. He just hoped nothing too bad would happen.
Cadence, being as inexperienced as she was in trolling, needed some pony, or some draconeques, to teach her how.
"So you need help in trolling eh?" Discord asked after taking a sip of his tea.
"Yes." Cadence replied, she stared at his face, but he refused to make eye contact.
"Well, you do realize that I've been reformed, and trolling is no longer my expertise. Right?"
"I don't care, you can still teach me, and you're the best troller, better even than Celestia!"
"Well, I guess I could help you, if you think you can take it." Discord stared into Cadence's eyes, his were slits of pure evil.
"I can take anything, just tell me how to troll!"
"Oh really, you can take anything can you?"
"Yes."
"Can you take cries of little children seeing their parents with distorted faces? Can you handle random ponies beating each other shitless?"
Cadence didn't react, the eye contact faltered when her eye twitched. I can't show weakness, I know he'll drop me if I do.
"I can tell you want to quit trolling class already, and we haven't even begun. You are weak in the fact you can't handle what trolling might do, but you are strong as to not show it, oh, and yes, I will drop you from trolling class if you show any weakness." Discord laughed.
Cadence was taken aback by this. "You, you can read my mind?" she asked.
"I can read every living being's mind. Oh, by the way, you're husband wants the V, and that tree over there." he pointed at a tree a few feet away from them. "Is thinking, sun, sun, sun, sun, sun, sun, sun, you get the point I think."
"That's a little creepy."
"Yes, but what about me isn't? I'm part lion, part eagle, part dragon, part, well, everything."
"When will the class start?"
"Oh, I believe that it has already ended. You pass."
"Wh-what? But, I didn't learn how to troll people yet." Cadence complained, she stamped her hoof on the ground hard. "I want to know how! NOW!"
"Ha, yes, but the thing is, trolling truly depends on what you do and who your victim is! There is no way to teach trolling, it just happens."
"Screw you!" Cadence shouted. She shot a blast of magic at him.
"Honestly, I'm not teaching you because I don't think you can really handle it." Discord clamped his paw over his mouth quickly. "What, just, happened?" He mumbled between his toes.
"I cast a spell on you, it takes away whatever part of you that you value the most."
"So it took my lying?"
"Apparently so."
"But, how?"
"You love your lying, and I am the Princess of love, I can do anything if it involves love."
"Well, I guess you must have it in you already, you don't need my help.
"Wow, really?"
"Yup. Now, if you'd excuse me, I'm going to go hug little bunny rabbits and kiss beavers." Discord walked away.
Cadence stared at him as he walked away. Seems like a nice guy. She thought, then she headed back to her castle. She arrived just in time to see her husband taking off his armor from the job.
"Hey hun, where were you today? You were gone much too long to be taking a shit."
"Nowhere."
"Fine, don't tell me, I don't care, so how are you doing?"
"Good, but bored."
"Why?"
"Ask Steel, I explained it all to him."
"All right, but you kind of look tired, you should get some sleep."
"Yeah, sure, ok." Cadence slid under the covers of her bed and closed her eyes. She slowly slipped out of consciousness. After a few minutes, Shining joined her in the bed, unarmored, and fell asleep with her.
Cadence waited for Shining Armor to leave for the garrisons and start commanding the royal guard before she woke up.
"Man, whatever she did last night must have been pretty tiring." Cadence heard her lover say before he left the room.
When the door clicked shut, she got up, opened the window, and looked down at her kingdom. Some ponies were going to start the work day, others took their foals to school, the rest just hung around the cafe and grocery store. Cadence picked one Stallion in particular to watch. He didn't converse with the crystal ponies much, so she just assumed this, but he appeared to be a strong, smart, popular stallion that all the mares wanted. So, he would make a perfect target to troll. She used the same spell on him that she used on Discord the other day. There were four mares with him, obviously love struck and single. Her spell struck him, he was enveloped in blue light, the mares looked away as if it was blinding them. After a few seconds, the light vanished. In place of the stallion was a thin, scrawny, nerdy stallion. The mares stared at him in disgust then walked away. Cadence could see them conversing. Every once in a while, one would look back, as if they couldn't believe what happened. Cadence heard some hoof steps coming down the hall to her room.
Fuck. She thought simply, she hurried back to her bed, it was probably Shining coming to see what the blast of magic did. Maybe she could make it back to her bed in time and make a big show about just waking up. Her back hoof hit the nightstand, and the lamp fell off. She tried to catch it, time seemed to slow down. The lamp slowly inched down the length of the small shelf, her hoof sliding through the air in an effort to catch it. She stopped the lamp just in time to stop it from smashing, and she quickly put it back and hopped into bed. Cadence messed up her hair somewhat, as if she hadn't waken up and fixed it. She threw the blanket half on her. She thought of every little detail except one, she left the window open. Literally right after she shut her eyes, the door opened.
A white stallion poked his head in the room and looked around.
"Psst, Cadence, are you awake?" Steel Blade whispered.
Cadence opened one eye a sliver to see who it was, she waited for him to leave.
"Cadence, are you ok? I saw some stray bolt of magic go in here." he said quietly. He inched closer.
Just, leave, please. She mentally begged.
Steel reached out a hoof, then retracted just before he touched her. He doesn't understand wings, and that's about all he can touch of her, the pink feathers covering the mare's body. He decided it would be ok, he did have a reason after all. He gently peeled back the wing and gripped the pink alicorn's hoof. He checked her pulse. It was normal. Steel looked around for anything out of place. He wandered over to the window and looked out, nothing out of place. He shut the window and walked back over to the 'sleeping' princess. He listened to her breathing. Cadence, being a little smarter than Steel, rolled over, so Steel couldn't see her breathing wasn't slowed down. Steel decided that she was alive and well, so he left the room and went off to do whatever he was supposed to do next.
Cadence waited a few seconds, then she slowly lifted her head up and checked the room to see if anyone else came in. She was alone as far as she could tell, so she slowly got out of her bed and went back to her window. She opened it and stared down at the city below. The stallion was sitting at the cafe now, face down on the table. One of the mares was watching him from a distance. Cadence felt pity for him, so she undid her spell. The mare called out to her friends and they all went back up to him and resumed conversation, as if nothing happened. Cadence was disgusted by the mares' actions.
"Love is not a toy, I will make you understand that." She said to herself
After another grueling day of commanding the royal guard, Shining Armor returned to his bedroom to see Cadence staring out the window and laughing.
"What is it hun?" Shining asked his wife.
Cadence hadn't known that Shining entered the room, so she froze at his voice. She turned her head around to see that he truly was there. She quickly shot a spell out the window. The crystal mare who had previously been running around screaming with snakes instead of hair was returned to normal.
"Oh, just a girl thing." Cadence lied.
"Oh, all right." Shining decided not to investigate further. "So, how was your day?" he said with a yawn.
"Good." Cadence returned the yawn.
"Well, I think I'm going to turn in early tonight, I gave that Steel Blade guy some special training, and he sure is tough." Shining said as he got on the bed.
"Ok, I think I'm going to stay up for a while longer." Cadence said.
"All right, good night dear." Shining layed his head down and fell asleep after a few minutes. Cadence stood at the window and waited. After a long time, she decided to go back to the window. The mare she was previously torturing was looking around, as if she was looking for the culprit.
"Let's amp things up a bit, shall we?" Cadence whispered under her breath. She prepared a new spell, one she had never used before, and vowed to never use it, but the sinful temptation was too powerful. She shot the spell at the streets below. It found it's mark and got the mare full on.
A deep, loud scream emanated from the city. The new stallion ran away, he didn't look back.
"Maybe I went too far." She said, thinking. "Nah." she eventually said.
Cadence punished each of the four mares that she saw earlier that day in turn the same way.
"I'll return them to normal, maybe they'll have learned their lesson by then." Cadence said to herself then crawled into bed.
Cadence watched as her victims were turned back to mares. They were freaking out, but they slowly calmed down. All was normal at about noon. She kept watching the town.
"I wanted to troll, but all I'm doing is punishing." she said to herself. She sighed heavily. "Guess I'll do what I was planning to do." Cadence waited for a few seconds while she readied her spell. She felt truly trollific and shot it at every pony she saw. Stallions, mares, adults, children, Cadence didn't care. Some panicked at the result, others didn't notice, a few wanted to test out their new parts, but most did what most every living creature would which is all of the above. Each cast of her spell draining her magical energy ever so slightly, and of course because it was mentioned, it means something to the storyline. She was going spell happy. After a few minutes, she got nearly half of her kingdom. She was feeling like a true troll, spreading chaos, confusion, and some happiness all over the town.
She was waiting for one more victim. Just one more. She thought. When the door flung open.
"CADENCE, WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?" Shining Armor shouted.
The pink alicorn, startled by the sudden appearance, turned around, her concentration broke and her spell was released. It nailed Shining's face directly. "Oh no."
"Cadence, please explained why you just blinded me with magic and why I can't feel my dick anymore." Shining demanded.
Cadence stared stunned. "Shit."
"What? Tell me now! Why is my voice higher, and why do I feel smaller? Give me answers Cady, NOW!"
"OK, so, I was bored the other day so I went to Discord and asked him how to troll people so I began casting spells on people taking away what they love, then I decided that I was more of punishing than trolling so I shot this spell I vowed to never use that changes a pony's gender and I guess that I just hit you with it but please don't yell I'm going to fix it." Cadence explained faster than Pinkie Pie could even if she was on a sugar high.
Shining stared at her dumbly. "All I got was that you're going to fix it, so, I'm not going to be mad. Just fix it, and what the fuck is happening between my legs?"
"I accidentally turned you into a mare."
"You, you, WHAT?"
"Calm down, I'm going to fix it."
"You better. I can not show up to the garrison tomorrow as a mare! The Royal Guard would never listen to my commands!"
"Yes yes, I get that. Now just calm down while I reverse the spell."
Shining exhaled loudly and stood as still as he could. Cadence's horn glowed a dull red, when she released her focus and shot the spell, there was a loud pop in the room, but nothing happened.
"Did it work? I'm not feeling my balls again." Shining said bluntly.
"Hang on a second, maybe I did something wrong." Cadence tried to undo her spell again, but still nothing happened.
"Cadence, quit messing with me!"
"I'm not, I can't reverse it!"
"Ok, ok, calm down. It's ok, just rest, get your energy back and fix this in the morning. I'll wake you up just before I go."
"Sure, that'll work I guess. I mean, its not like I'm using one of those spells that are permanent if they aren't fixed by midnight."
"Yeah. That would really suck. The one time you don't research a spell you accidentally cast it on me and can't fix it. What would the odds be?"
"I don't know, like one in a million at least." Cadence and Shining laughed.
"You didn't research the spell before you used it did you?" Shining asked. The laughing of the couple stopped.
"Nope."
"I'm probably going to be stuck a mare forever aren't I?"
"Yup."
Shining sighed. "Well, if you don't mind, I'm tired, so I'm going to go to sleep, and dream of which stallion I think is hottest." She waited a few seconds. "Tell any pony I said that and I'll kill you."
"Don't worry hun. I understand, the female hormones are controlling your thoughts. Just try to keep the impulses to yourself. I won't tell a soul."
"Guess I'll find out what it's like to be a female, and oh my Celestia, does Steel Blade have a nice ass or what?"
"I know right? You know what, this is definitely number four on the oddest conversations I've had with my husband."
"You have a list, and this is only number four?"
"Well, we have had pretty odd conversations before."
"True. Well, good night Cadence, see you in the morning." Shining crawled into bed. She felt odd, for once her hooves weren't hanging over the end of the bed.
Cadence joined her spouse in bed after a few seconds.
"Hey Cady, what does sex feel like to a mare?" Shining asked.
Shining woke up at roughly 7 AM. She stretched and yawned. Then she poked Cadence in the side.
"Cadence, Cadence get up. Time to try to fix me." She whispered.
"Five more minutes." Cadence's slumbering form mumbled.
Shining poked harder. "Cadence wake up." She said a little louder.
Cadence simply rolled over.
Shining jabbed her wife in the ribs. "Wake, up, now." the white mare practically shouted into Cadence's ear.
Cadence rubbed her eyes and lifted her head. "What is it?"
Shining stared at Cadence. "You know, last night."
"OH, oh right." Cadence got out of bed, yawned, and looked at Shining Armor. "Ready?" She asked sleepily.
"Ready."
Cadence lazily focused on her new wife. Her horn glowed a familiar dull red. There was a loud pop and, as last time, the spell failed.
"Did it work?" Shining asked.
"I don't think so. Maybe I'm just too tired. Try again at noonish?" She asked with a yawn.
"Sure, I guess, anything to get me back to a stallion." Shining sighed heavily and left to the barracks for his daily duties of commanding the Royal Guard.
***
"All right maggots, listen up." Shining shouted at the row of guards.
"Dude, when did we get a new captain?" Steel Blade asked Flash Sentry.
Flash shrugged.
"I think she's hot."
Flash looked at the Commander of the Guard closely. Something about her seemed familiar.
"What do you think?"
"I feel like I know her." Flash squinted, trying to see why he thought this.
"You do? Lucky, that means you probably got a better shot with her than me!"
"What are you two discussing?" Shining asked. She glared at the two newest guards.
"I was trying to figure out why I know you sir, I mean ma'am." Flash answered.
"And you?" Shining asked Steel.
"I was, doing the same." Steel replied quickly.
"I don't believe you Blade, but I'll let this one slip." Shining dropped back and resumed his pacing up and down the line of guards, telling them their duties for the day.
"Dude, she knows my name!" Steel whispered to Flash when Shining was out of earshot.
"Not sure that's such a good thing." Flash whispered back.
Shining eventually made her way back down the line to Steel and Flash.
"Flash, you roam the parapets and make sure all seems good, and Steel, meet me in my office."
"Tough break man. Good luck, see you on the other side." Flash said jokingly, slapping Steel on the back.
Steel followed Shining to her office as the rest of the guards went off to their duties.
Shining locked the door and shut the shutters behind the two white ponies.
"Do you know why I called you in here?" Shining asked.
"You wanted to give me a secret mission that involves a conspiracy?" Steel Blade ventured.
"No, nowhere near."
"You want to know what I was truly talking to Flash about?"
"Oh no, I heard."
"Ok then, I give up, why did you call me in here?"
"I think that you're sexy." Part of Shining's mind was screaming DUDE STOP, this is gay! She put aside this thought, due to the fact that most of her mind was telling her to keep going. Shining took a small step towards Steel and blinked slowly once.
Steel backed into the wall, unsure of what to do next. He began to sweat nervously. "What are you doing?"
"Shh. Just go with it." Shining stepped closer, their faces were inches apart. Then Shining ran a hoof through Steel's mane, messing it up.
"I, I have to go clean the ramparts from bird poop." Steel said quickly, he dashed to the door and unlocked quickly. He left the room, glancing at a forlorn Shining Armor.
"Well, that was a let down." She said to herself. Shining opened the shutters and sat on the chair in the office. She looked at the stack of paperwork that still has to be done and sighed. She pulled out her pencil and started working on them. Every half hour or so, she'd leave the office to check on the guards to make sure they were doing their job, or to use the little mare's room.
After about 15 hours, Shining got up to go back to her bedroom, when Steel Blade stopped her.
"Steel, what are you doing here?"
Steel shut the door. "Look sir, I came here to apologize for my previous and rash decision."
"Oh really?"
"Yes."
Shining shut the shutters to the small office room and locked the door.
***
After a while, Shining made her way back to her bedroom.
"What took you so long honey?" Cadence asked.
Seeing her wife, Shining's male mind power flared up. "I, I don't want to talk about it."
"Why not?"
"I just, don't want to."
"Oh, ok, hey, do you know what day tomorrow is?"
"Is it our anniversary already? I thought we did one like a year ago!"
"No, and that was 348 days ago to be exact."
"Ok, so, what is it?"
"It's Sunday!"
"So, I don't have to command the guard?"
"Nope."
"So, we can go get help figuring out how to reverse your spell?"
"Yup."
"Oh thank Celestia!"
"Why does every pony say Celestia? Why doesn't anyone thank Luna? Or say Oh my Luna? It's always Celestia, whats up with that?"
"I don't know, nor do I really care, I just want it to be tomorrow. Now." Shining crawled under her covers and shut her eyes. "Good night Cadence."
"Good night Shining." Cadence crawled in next to her wife and kissed her.
Cadence and Shining were waiting at the train station for the train to Ponyville to arrive. Crystal ponies were staring at them.
"Why is Cadence with a mare?" one stallion asked the mare who was with him.
"I'm not sure, but isn't that Shining Armor?" she asked.
"Can't be, she's obviously a mare."
"Well, it probably is Shining, considering I used to be a stallion, same with half of my friends!"
"That's just weird. I used to be a mare."
"Well, this is awkward."
''Yes, very much so, and how do I use a urinal?"
Cadence simply ignored the odd stares she received. Shining sat on the bench, picking at her hoof nervously, refusing to look up. Eventually the train arrived. Shining Armor, Cadence Miamore Cadenza, and a bunch of unknown crystal ponies boarded the train. They rode it until the vehicle pulled to a stop at the train station in Ponyville.
"So, why did we come here?" Shining asked.
"To visit the pony with the best magical experience I know, your sister." Cadence answered.
"NO! NO NO NO! ANYTHING BUT THAT!" Shining shouted.
"Why not? She may be our last resort."
Shining thought for a few seconds. "Fine, fine, do it."
"Ok, well, her tree should be around here somewhere." Cadence looked around the nearby town.
"Is it perhaps the huge ass tree right in front of you with a door and windows in it?"
"Ah, yes." Cadence walked to the tree with Shining in tow. "Twilight, Twilight are you here?" she asked when she walked in.
"Cadence? CADENCE!" Twilight ran up to her old babysitter
"Sunshine sunshine, lady-" Twilight and Cadence began their old rhyme.
"-Ahem." Shining interrupted them.
"Oh, hey bro. Hows it going?" Twilight asked.
"Sis." Shining corrected her.
"What?"
"Sis."
"I'm sorry, I don't understand what you're trying to say."
"Ugg." Shining turned around to show her sister her marehood.
"Oh, oh my, umm." Twilight blushed at what she saw.
Shining turned back around. "Great family reunion eh?"
"Yeah, sure, so why didn't Cadence reverse it?"
"Cadence can't fix it. She tried right after it happened, she tried the day after, she even tried on the train, no matter what either of us does, it won't work!"
"I'm sorry Shining, but your gender is considered love, considering its how you make love, as far as I'm aware, only Cadence can help you."
"So, I'm possibly stuck a mare forever?"
"Yes."
"Oh shit. Hey sis, have you seen Soarin's ass lately?"
"So now what?" Shining asked Cadence as they sipped tea in Twilight's kitchen.
"Well, it really depends. Do you want to be changed back into a stallion?" Cadence asked.
"YES! I'll do anything to be back to normal!"
"Well, I can think of maybe three other ponies who could help at this point."
"Can you just try to fix me one last time quickly?"
"Sure." Cadence stood up and tried to reverse the spell again, but got the same result as every other time.
"Well, I guess we should go find some pony else to fix me."
"Sure, first lets try Celestia, she is supposed to have infinite power."
"Then why didn't we go to her first, you know, so my sister wouldn't know about this?"
"It's because Twilight is always here in her tree, Celestia tends to go to different cities every day."
"So, do you have any clue where she is?"
"Not one."
"Oh, umm, Cadence, Shining, I know where Celestia is." Twilight said.
"Where? Tell me now!" Shining demanded.
"I just saw her over at Sugar Cube Corner."
"Great, more people get to see me."
"Shut up Shining, lets just get over there, this may be the only time we know where she is!" Cadence grabbed her wife's hoof and she ran off to the confectionery.
***
Cadence stepped through the door with Shining in tow.
"Cadence, Shining Armor, what are you two doing here?" Celestia asked.
"We have a little problem, with an irreversible spell." Cadence explained.
"Cadence accidentally turned me into a mare, and neither of us can figure out how to fix it, even Twilight says only Cadence can fix it." Shining whispered in the white alicorn's ear.
"Oh, oh my. So you came to me even though the smartest mare in Equestria says that only Cadence can reverse it?" Celestia asked.
"Well, yes, but when you say it like that it just makes me feel like an idiot." Shining responded.
"As much as I like to think that Twilight is correct on everything though, I think I might be able to fix it. I do have unlimited power after all."
Shining waited for a few minutes. "So, you gonna fix me?"
"Oh, yeah, sorry, I just saw Soarin, isn't his ass nice?"
"I know right? Oh Celestia, help me now please."
"Ok, ok." Cadence backed up and began to cast a spell, her horn glowed a light yellow, so light, it was almost white. There was a familiar popping sound after a few seconds.
"No, why, what did I ever do to deserve this? I just want to be a stallion again!" Shining shouted.
"Well, maybe I'm just too hungry, you can go ask Luna though, she has boundless power like me, she's just over at the park giving her weekly magic lesson to the unicorns who can't afford magic school."
"Ok, thank you Celestia, lets go Cadence." Shining grabbed her wife's hoof and she pulled Cadence to the park, and Cadence turned around and started eating more sweets.
***
"LUNA!" Shining shouted.
"Ok, go take a quick break everyone." Luna said quickly. "What is it Shining, oh my Celestia."
"I need your help."
"With being turned back into a stallion?" Luna guessed.
"Yes, how did you know?"
"Well, first of all I can see you're a little smaller than usual, and your horn is more rounded, plus you're giving off a lot of hormones. Smells like you're in heat."
"Oh Celestia. So that's why I feel more attracted to Stallions lately."
"Yes, probably. Though my nose has been wrong before."
"So, can you please fix me before I do something I regret? Oh, that one's hot." Shining watched a stallion as he got a drink from the water fountain.
"OK, I'll try to fix you quick, but Cadence, you may need to restrain him, I mean her."
"Ok, won't be a problem." Cadence used her magic to hold Shining's back legs so she couldn't run off somewhere.
"Ready Shining? I'm not a master in love spells, so you have to accept the spell and do nothing that could possibly make me lose focus." Luna's horn began to glow when Shining nodded. There was another pop that was all to familiar to Shining and Cadence.
"No, what went wrong?" Shining asked.
"Well, I'm not sure. Maybe you want to stay a mare too much?"
"NO, I want to be a stallion again! I'll give anything!"
"Well, maybe you twitched at the last second. Let me try again, hold as still as you can."
"Ok, shoot me." Shining tensed up all of her muscles so she wouldn't twitch.
Luna tried again, but got the same result.
"Luna, I swear to Celestia if you're just doing this to mess with me, then you're dead!"
"No Shining, I'm not, maybe I'm just a little tired from giving my lesson. come back in maybe an hour or so."
"Fine."
"I really hope that we get you changed back." Cadence said.
"Me too." Shining sighed. "Now, can you let me go please?"
"Oh, sorry, here." Cadence released Shining from her magical grasp.
"So, who do you think could possibly help me now?"
"The only pony I can think of would be Zecora."
"No, please, any pony but her! I can't stand her rhymes!"
"Well, its either that or be a mare forever."
Shining thought for a few minutes. "This is a lose-lose situation for me, but considering I'm tempted to flirt with that guy over there, I think I pick Zecora."
"Are we there yet?" Shining asked, physically spent from wandering in the Everfree Forest.
"Considering we're still walking, I have to say no, we aren't." Cadence answered, quite annoyed from answering the same question over and over.
"We're lost aren't we?"
"No."
"Cadence, we've been trotting around for at least two hours and I haven't seen one sign of other intelligent life anywhere!"
"Shut up."
"No, I'm gonna start bitching to you."
"No, be quiet, I think I heard something."
"Yeah, it's me, now I swear if we don't find that zebra soon I'm going to eat you, slowly."
"No no, I heard something else."
Shining shut her mouth for a little bit. A bush rustled. Cadence stared at the bush and Shining hugged her wife, scared.
"Who goes there? Are you alone or in a pair?" a familiar voice shouted from the trees. It was impossible to pinpoint where it came from, the forest echoed every sounds too much.
"Zecora, is that you?" Cadence asked.
"Yes, now who are you? I have not a clue." Zecora said from her seemingly impossible to find location.
"Zecora, it's me Cadence Miamore Cadenza, and Shining Armor." Cadence responded.
"Ahh, why are you here? I lend you my ear."
"We need your help."
"Why do you need my help? Were the others like a worthless whelp?"
"Well, yes actually."
"Fine follow me to my hut. Be careful not to get cut." Zecora appeared from a bush on the other side of the path that they thought she was on.
"Why would she say be careful not to get cut?" Shining asked.
"There are a bunch of thorn bushes in the woods."
"Oh, I see." Shining said as her leg was stabbed by one, not far from her nether region.
Eventually, the three ponies arrived at Zecora's hut.
"So what is your seemingly pointless plight? Umm, something that rhymes with plight." Zecora asked.
"No offense Zecora, but you're bad at rhyming now." Cadence responded.
"Yes, I am aware. It's because I was attacked by a bear. Yeah, that made no sense. They're bad rhymes because rhyming is difficult, you try going one whole hour with everything you say rhyming."
"No thanks, I believe you."
"So, why did you come here?"
"Well, I cast a spell and no pony seems to be able to reverse it."
"So, who did it hit?"
"Shining Armor."
"Oh, what was it?"
"I turned him into a mare."
"Oh my. That's what I was smelling. I thought you vowed to never use that spell, this is why you never break your vows."
"Yes yes, I know, but can you please fix him?"
Zecora inspected the white mare closely. "Oh my."
"What? Is it reversible? It is right? RIGHT?" Shining demanded an answer
"Yes, quite so, but it may be difficult. Cadence is the only pony who can reverse this."
"But she can't, she has tried at least ten times by now."
"Yes, but this spell is one of the forbidden spells. Cadence will need as much magic energy as she can get."
"So, how would she get that much power?"
"Well, she has to be full, thirst quenched, and completely awake. She appears to be in good enough physical condition, so just make sure she has as much energy reserves as possible. Hear that Cadence, no more physical exertion, eat and drink as much as you can, and, just to be on the safe side, you must avoid everything that could get you sick. I think noon tomorrow should be a perfect time."
"Well, that seems easy enough." Cadence said.
"Nothing is as easy as it seems." Zecora responded. "Now shoo. My family is coming over and I must clean up around here."
The two mares left the hut and headed back to town.
"Ok Cadence, I got a short break today. Are you hungry at all?" Shining asked.
"No." Cadence responded.
"Thirsty?"
"No."
"Tired?"
"No."
"Sick?"
"No."
"Ok good, that means we're at the perfect setting. If Zecora was right, this will work."
Cadence focused. Her horn glowed a brilliant pink. She shot the spell at Shining Armor. There was a loud 'zap' and a bright light blinded the two mares. When the light faded, Shining opened his eyes and checked to see if the spell worked.
"Did it work?" Cadence asked.
"No." Shining said depressed.
"Well, considering nothing is working, you might as well get used to being a mare."
"Yeah."
"So, I'm going to take away the part of you that you love the most, which is your masculinity." Cadence shot the spell at Shining Armor. "Well, I guess then our marriage is over. I certainly am not lesbian."
"Neither am I." A stallion replied.
"Wait, what?" Cadence asked her husband.
"What the heck?" Shining asked. He was a stallion again.
"But, I thought you loved your masculinity above everything else."
"I guess the hormones came over me and I ended up loving being a mare." He smiled sheepishly and scratched the back of his head.
"No, you would still value your manliness. The hormones would not affect what you love. It would only affect your actions and WHO you love. So, you've been lying to me this whole time, you WANTED to stay a mare."
"OH, well, would you look at the time, I have to go make sure the guards are still at their posts." Shining dashed out of the room quickly.
"And that's why I love him." Cadence said to herself. She turned to the window. "I'm done trolling, after that mistake, I never want to mess that up again." She stared at the town below. "Ok, maybe one more day won't hurt." she decided. Then Cadence shot the gender swapping spell at every crystal pony she saw.
"Hello Cadence, just came in to check on you." Steel Blade said as he stepped in the room.
Cadence screamed at the sudden appearance of the guard. She turned around quickly and released the spell she was holding at him.
