Chapter 2: An Act of Kindness

I was sobbing. I must have been. Screaming? Was I angry? Terrified? Sad? Anything? I must have been feeling something.

I wasn't a bad pony. Only a bad pony could have stood there in front of a dying pony and not feel anything. But I don’t remember crying. I don’t remember being afraid. I don’t remember rushing over to Slammer and doing something to help him, even if I knew it was already too late.

I just remember drifting towards him, a tired, unfeeling haze fogging my mind. I remember just staring at him, knowing that I should have felt bad that he was hurt, maybe even dying, but also knowing that I just didn't have it in me to care.

I was always smart. I had to be. Since I was a terrible flier, I had to keep my written score in my classes top notch. I never missed a question in my safety classes. Sometimes, I would even silently correct my instructors when they misspoke about pegasus anatomy.

You learned a lot about anatomy when you spent the day constantly wondering what bone your next fall would break.

I caught myself naming each bone that I saw jutting out of Slammer’s wings as I approached. Funnily enough, his coracoid was one of them. I doubted he would be flying again anytime soon, if ever.

Served him right.

Slammer coughed, startling me.

He was still alive! I looked him over. He had a giant branch stuck in his chest. Surprisingly enough, there wasn't that much blood coming out of it. Well, there was a lot, but not as much as I thought there should have been.

I looked closer, an almost scientific curiosity overriding any disgust I had for the blood that was coming out of his chest. Amazingly, the blood was a pure crimson, clean from any impurities that might have resulted from the penetration of a major organ. Really, the biggest threat to his life was the blood loss from him squirming around so much.

I looked up. If I could get myself back up to flight camp and tell somepony, and if Slammer didn't move, maybe somepony could help him. I might even have been able to save him myself if I had the tools.

But I didn't have the tools. And to be honest, I didn't really care about saving him.

I blinked. Wow. I really didn't care.

Maybe it was shock? I had read that sometimes, when a pony had experienced something traumatic, they would go into shock. Maybe I was in shock? I mean, maybe I wasn't. Maybe I was an evil psychopath who killed ponies. Maybe, all along, I was secretly an evil monster, just like—

It was shock, I firmly told myself.

I turned around, ready to walk away. Well, if I was in shock, I had better go lie down or something.

A phlegm-filled cough startled me out of my introspection.

Oh, right. Him.

I turned my head slightly to the side until he was in my peripheral vision.

“Bucking Clutzershy gotta screw everything up!”

Of course. His last words would be spiteful venom spat at the back of his killer.

Because that was I was about to be if I left him there, a killer. I ground my teeth together as something cold gripped my stomach, and that same redness that had overcome me earlier blurred my vision. I turned back and stared at him, my entire body cold and numb despite the warm summer's day.

The cold, numb feeling only intensified as I watched him smirk back with the smile of a pony that had nothing left to lose. The same smirk he always had. The same smirk that he would always have, even if I saved him.

And then I realized why I didn't care. He was a monster. And no matter how much I wanted to save him, I couldn't. I could have saved his life, but then he would just hurt me again. He would hurt others again. He would always be a monster. And there was no saving him from that.

I didn't care if I was going to be a killer. I didn't care whether he lived or died. I just didn't care. Because his life was nothing to me.

I swallowed and shook my head, trying to drown out the ringing in my ears. My face felt numb. I could barely lift my hooves. My whole body felt weak. I was tired. So tired. I turned away again.

“That’s cold. At least you finally stopped being such a wuss. You—” a wracking cough interrupted his monologue. He didn’t let it deter him for long. “You know, they say your life flashes before your eyes when you die. I just realized. I turned into my bucking dad. Discord damn I hated that bucking… bucker!”

I looked around for a place to sleep. Sleep sounded good. None of this unconsciousness ponyfeathers. Just calm, relaxing sleep.

I cocked my head to the side as a though occurred to me.

What would the flight instructors think about me sleeping in the middle of the day? They already thought I was weak and worthless. Would they expel me?

I shook my head.

Oh, well. I was sure they would understand. Or maybe they wouldn't. But I didn't care anymore.

Something warm and sticky dripped from my mane into my mouth, filling it with an acrid texture that made me grimace.

Blood. Slammer's blood.

I spat the blood out and wiped my mouth.

"…killed him, you know," Slammer was saying.

I shook my head. Oh, right. Dead colt talking.

“He hit my mom one time too many and I just snapped. So did his neck! Hah!”

That was nice. Oh, look. A barn in the distance. Maybe I could sleep there? Sleep was good. I liked sleep.

“You know, you’re just like me.” His face was pensive. Almost wistful. I didn't care.

“BUCK YOU!” someone howled. Oh, right. That was me, screaming in his face. “I’m nothing like you! You’re a bully! You hurt ponies for fun!”

His visage turned mocking. “Yeah. I didn’t used to neither. But I got angry. It's a wonderful feeling, anger. You'd know all about anger, wouldn't you Fluttershy?”

“I’ll never be like you. So shut up.” I said, shaking my head. I had given up on screaming at him at this point. He was wrong. I was right. He hurt ponies. I hadn’t ever hurt anypony. Never! That was all there was to it.

“You’re sad and in denial, Fluttershy.”

“I’m not the one with a tree in his chest, loser!”

And there I was, yelling again.

I took a deep breath. I just needed to walk away. I had nothing to prove to him. Not anymore.

“Do you kiss your mother with that mouth, young filly?” he mocked in a high-pitched faux-girly tone. He stared at me and spat out, “You’re a scumbag just like me and my dad.”

The edges of my vision turned red.

“I’ll never be like you! I’m a hero! I saved that poor colt from you! You hurt ponies! I save them! I SAVE THEM!” A little bit of spittle clung to my chin. I lifted a hoof to wipe it away.

Slammer's eyes stared at me, filled with scorn and pity.

My heart pounded in my chest, and I felt my vision fading to red. “Yeah? Well I got a tree stuck in my chest! Save me, oh great hero!”

I breathed in deeply, a brilliant idea slowly forming in my mind. I could save him! He must have been in such horrible pain. I could save him from that. He wouldn’t ever need to be in pain ever again.

“I’ll save you, Slammer.” I crept closer to Slammer, a kind smile on my face. “You won’t hurt ponies anymore. You’ll see. I’m a nice pony, unlike you. I won't let you be in pain anymore. And you'll be so grateful, you won't ever bully another pony again, either.”

I smiled down at him. A kind smile. I could see fear on his face, but there wasn’t any need for it. He was muttering funny words like “bucking psycho,” and “completely lost it,” but I knew he was only saying that because he was afraid. But he wasn’t going to be afraid for much longer. He'd never be afraid again.

Wasn't I just the nicest pony?

A giggle threatened to burst from my throat, but I held it in.

I aimed a kick at the branch that jutted up through his chest and let my hind hoof fly. It struck true, and with a crack the limb snapped. Slammer fell down, blood pouring from his mouth and chest.

I patted him on the head and whispered down to him “Now, this will hurt. But I want you to be brave, okay?”

I took his whimper for a sign of readiness. He was in pain, and I couldn’t let that stand any longer. I was a good pony, after all. What kind of good pony would let another pony be hurt without stepping in to help? I was a good pony. A hero. Like Daring Do.

I drew out the branch from Slammer’s chest. His choked screams of pain hurt me, and I felt as if I was having a tree branch dragged through my chest, but the cold feeling was back, numbing and twisting the pain into something almost enjoyable, and soon I was grunting in both pain and pleasure as the phantom pain pierced through my chest. Blood spurted out from the hole it left, pouring out to fill in the gap, making my breath hitch and my eyes tear up.

Just as the pain was was almost too much to take, I felt the tree branch's resistance give way and fell back, watching in wonder as blood spurted from the hole in Slammer's chest. Slammer’s eyes clouded over as more funny sounds came from his mouth.

“Augh! Please!”

“Stop! I'm sorry!”

“Glugle ugkkk hurf hack!”

I giggled. That last sound was so funny. His body lay before me. His eyes weren’t in pain anymore. That was good. His mouth was in a silent, bloody scream. That wasn’t good. I closed his mouth, and it wasn’t screaming anymore. That was good. He really looked peaceful when he was asleep. I just wanted to cuddle with him, even though I knew he was a bad pony before.

“Sweet dreams!”

I turned and stumbled off to the barn in the distance. I wanted to sleep too, but a niggling feeling in the back of my head screamed at me to run away. To be anywhere but here. I didn’t really know what the feeling was, but I was too tired to care. But it wouldn’t let me sleep here either. So off to the barn I went, humming a happy tune, good deed done for the day.

Chapter 3: Running Away

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Blargh. Augh. Celestia, I felt terrible. I opened my eyes to the sight of planks of wood layered atop each other and nailed together. I woke to the smell of sawdust and hay and poop. And something else that smelled disturbingly familiar. I shook my head, only to have a ringing sound fill my ears and bile pour from my throat.

“Where am I?”

Though my knees were wobbly and my joints ached, I stood up. “Is anyone there?” I tried to call out, but even I could barely hear the squeak that left my mouth.

My eyes darted around. I was in some kind of building with stacks of hay and bushels of apples lying around. There was a huge door on one side that was hung slightly ajar.

I was in an unfamiliar place. I didn’t like unfamiliar places.

I began to hyperventilate. Had I been kidnapped? I tried to concentrate, to remember what had happened since I was kidnapped.

Pain erupted in my skull, and a wave of nausea wracked my stomach, making my vision go white as I fell to the floor. I pressed my hooves into my eyes and grimaced.

"Okay," I thought, whimpering, "I didn't really want to know that badly anyway. Just make the pain go away."

I lay on the floor, whimpering for a while as I waited for my stomach to settle and the headache to go away.

Maybe they had used magic to wipe my memory. I had read about unicorns and how they had magic. Maybe I had been kidnapped by unicorns? Or maybe it was an evil unicorn sorcerer, like the one from that Batmare comic?

I shook my head.

The door was open. This was a spectacularly bad kidnapping if that was the case. Or maybe it was a trap? I laid down and quivered for a while.

I looked around and sighed. Just lying here wouldn’t be helpful either. “Be brave, Fluttershy,” I told myself. I tiptoed towards the door and peered out.

Apple trees. Apple trees everywhere. I twisted my head around, but there was no end in sight. I gulped. At least I wouldn’t starve trying to escape. I slowly crept out of the building. No one seemed to be around. Well, I probably hadn’t been kidnapped by an evil unicorn sorcerer to be fed to a dragon. I shivered. Dragons were scary.

I began walking through the trees, looking for an apple that might have fallen to the ground. Some time passed but eventually I found one. I picked it up and delicately nibbled at it. My stomach groaned in hunger, and I chewed harder. When was the last time I had eaten? Oh, right. I was going to eat that morning, but Slammer had pushed me aside and taken my lunch money. I had fallen unconscious, and then… The fight.

I gasped. Oh, no! We must have fallen below the clouds! My eyes darted around. Where was Slammer? Had he left me behind and gone back to flight camp? I frowned bitterly. He probably had.

Slammer was a bully. He was a bad pony. I’m a kind pony. I saved him.

I jumped a little. Where had that thought come from? I shook my head as a dull ache throbbed through it. I looked around disoriented, and realized I was completely lost. Apple trees spanned as far as I could see. I trotted up to one and pushed it, hoping that it would drop another apple. I heard a snap as two more fell down along with the branch that had connected them. As I picked up the apples, I stared at the branch that connected them, mesmerized.

Slammer hung from the tree, blood dripping from his chest. His hooves clung to the branch that impaled him. His eyes leered down at me accusing me. I felt like a pony in the presence of a twisted, evil god, casting his judgment down upon me. With a wistful smile, he held out his hoof. “You know, you’re just like me.”

My pulse quickened and I gasped deeply as the throbbing in my head turned into a blinding agony. I hunkered down, clutching my head. I couldn’t stand the endless mass of trees anymore. It was obviously driving me into insane hallucinations.

Sighing, I realized what I had to do. I gulped and flapped my wings, ignoring the usual pain that accompanied the maneuver. I began to ascend, which was the easy part. Once I was in the air, maintaining control would be extremely taxing. Hopefully the trees would soften my inevitable fall.

As I rose into the air, more of the landscape became visible to me. I saw a barn in the distance, and behind it, an exit to the endless mass of apple trees. I sighed in relief and headed over to it. A sense of unease and dread filled me as I flew, but I knew there was no way I would ever stay in this unending grove of trees forever.

As I passed by the barn into freedom, my eyes widened. This place was beautiful! There were no words to describe it. There were birds singing and cute, cuddly-wuddly bunnies hopping around, and trees of every kind everywhere! A hummingbird landed on my shoulder and cocked its head inquisitively.

I demurely brought my face closer to it and gave it a gentle nuzzle. It nuzzled me back—it nuzzled me back!—and began to sing. A squirrel popped out of the trees, followed by his mate and two baby squirrels!

I tumbled gently down by the river. The bird on my shoulder took off, and was joined by more birdies, each singing in tandem. I galloped after the free flying birds, heart soaring with each step. As I galloped, butterflies swarmed around me, lifting me up.

I was joined now by beavers, chipmunks, frogs, snakes, bees, mice, and even a bear, each singing in tandem with the other animals. Their various croaks, buzzes, chirps and hisses formed a chorus that flowed through me and compelled me to sing. I sang with them, the words spilling out of my mouth without my control. It felt so right that I lost myself, floating in the wild without a care.

I felt the end of the song coming, yet I wasn’t worried. I knew that this moment would never come again, but I also knew that I would forever carry it in my very essence, just as I knew that this place was where I belonged.

“Yes, I — love — everythiiiiiiiiiing!” I sung out. I took a deep breath and sighed in contentment. Everything was so perfect here.

A tinkling sound and a flash of light erupted from behind me. I turned around, and looked for the source. It was coming from my haunch! I was going to get my cutie mark! With baited breath, I waited to see what it would look like.

All of a sudden, I was unceremoniously dropped on the ground as the butterflies fled away from me. Animals started rushing away, and the sense of dread that had settled in my stomach reached a boiling point.

“What? Wait! Where are you going!?” I cried, desperate to bring the animals back. “Don’t leave me!”

I looked around, an eerie sense of déjà vu creeping into the back of my mind. I recognized this place somehow. I trotted forward, ignoring my every instinct to flee the scene. My head was splitting open with pain, but I had to be brave. I couldn’t let whatever was making the animals afraid continue to spread this malevolent aura anymore. I had to protect them.

I stepped up and over a hill and gazed down at the truth. It was me. I was making the animals afraid. I was the source of the malevolent aura. I was the reason the air stank of blood and death. I looked down at my hooves. There was still blood caked on them. My mane, hanging near the ground, was spotted with blood. How had I not noticed that? Of course I had. I just didn’t want to admit it to myself.

I had killed Slammer.

No, not Slammer. His name had been Thunder Dancer.

Oh, Celestia. I had killed a pony.

"Does that make me a criminal?" I wondered out loud.

Oh, no. They were going to throw me into Tartarus, weren't they? I wouldn't last a day there! There were dragons there!

I needed to get out of here. I needed to get rid of the body. I needed to...

Another thought occurred to me.

Why had that been the first thing that came to my mind?

I blinked and looked down at the corpse. I had read books on psychology too. When a pony killed another, the killer was supposed to feel remorse. They were supposed to empathize with the pony they had killed. They were supposed to feel bad. Otherwise, they were a psychopath.

I wasn't a psychopath. I usually felt terrible when ponies were hurt. Sometimes, when I saw a pony crash, I would feel as if I had crashed with them. Even the flight instructors said I was too sensitive.

But I didn't feel bad for killing Slammer. I just felt... satisfied. It was the same kind of satisfaction I had on the rare occasion when I actually didn't fail a flight test. The kind of satisfaction I would get when I actually accomplished something, when I felt that maybe, for once, I had control over my life. That I wasn't a failure.

Was Slammer right? Was I a monster?

I glanced around at the empty apple trees, at the animals fleeing from the scenes, and then down at the tree branch lying to the side of a giant pool of splattered, dark bloodstains.

"I've ruined this place," I realized, "No animal would want to live here after this."

Even if I felt nothing for Slammer, the thought that my actions had hurt the animals made my heart ache.

All the cute bunnies would turn away from this place. Birds would never sing here. Snakes would never slither through. And it was all my fault. I had come into their homes, intruded in their lives, and had hurt the cute, innocent critters that had nothing to do with any of this.

I blinked, my eyes suddenly tearing up.

Those cute creatures that passed through here every day didn’t deserve this horror. I really was a monster for hurting them like this.

I wiped my eyes, but it was of no use.

Something bright pulsed with some kind of magical light and I looked down at my newly formed cutie mark.

Was it a picture of Thunder Dancer’s empty eyes? How about the word “KILLER” emblazoned in bold, bloody letters across my flank? It would serve me right. This beautiful wonderland and its loving creatures had accepted me as its own, and I had paid it back with death and rot. I didn’t deserve this place. I deserved to just lie down here and die with Thunder Dancer.

No, my cutie mark didn’t show any of that any of that. It was a green butterfly sitting on a blackened, dead tree limb. What an innocent sight. The butterfly had its eyes closed, apparently sleeping. The tree limb looked like the branch that had impaled Thunder Dancer, but was devoid of blood or anything to indicate my involvement in the murder of a fellow pony. So innocent. So gentle. So kind. So innocuously deadly. It made me sick to my stomach to look at, so I turned away.

Yet before me lay the rotting corpse of Thunder Dancer, hooves still clutching at the hole in his chest, eyes staring at nothing at all. I turned away from that as well, but everywhere I turned, there was blood.

Oh Celestia, there was so much blood.

I took a deep breath and gulped as the reality sof the situation set in.

I was going to Tartarus, wasn't I? The police would come, and they would lock me up, and everyone would stare at me with judging eyes. Mommy was going to be so disappointed in me. And even if they let me go, I could never go outside ever again. Everypony would stare at me with those same judging eyes that they always looked at me with in the flight academy. I would never escape them. Because everyone would think I was a monster. And they would be right.

The world was spinning around me. My breaths were shallow, and I felt a burning feeling in my chest as tears obscured my vision.

Something rustled behind me.

I squeaked in terror, not even bothering to look at who it was. I just ran.

Chapter 4: Angels and Demons

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I was lost, in every sense of the word. I had left behind whatever was chasing me—if I hadn’t just been running from my imagination in the first place—but I ran on.

I had a vision of Celestia’s furious face loomed down on me as thunder boomed in the background. Her voice cracked like a whip across the sky, pushing past the thunder as an even stronger, deadlier beast. “ONE THOUSAND YEARS IN TARTARUS!” she decreed, and I felt myself being dragged away.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOO!” I squealed, opening my eyes and dispelling the vision. It was a good thing too. I had been about to run into a tree. Flapping my wings in an attempt to stop, I brushed against unexpected resistance. “Huh?” I said, turning my head. I saw a bunny rabbit go flying off of my wings before I slammed into the tree.

“Oww…” I picked myself up, brushing myself off a little, before I looked for the bunny. I saw him staggering around in a daze and sighed in relief. He wasn’t hurt. I quickly rushed over to him.

“I’m so sorry! Are you ok? Are you hurt?” I inspected him for damage, but other than a little bit of dizziness, he seemed fine. He was also glaring at me. I shied back, and covered my face with my mane. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t know you were there!” I whimpered. Great. Now I was throwing innocent bunnies around. I should just lock myself up in a room and never come out. I felt something soft wrap around my hoof and I looked down. The bunny had wrapped his arms around me and was staring up at me, eyes wide with compassion.

I looked away. “Oh, you’re so sweet. But you shouldn’t be near me. I might snap and hurt you. I’m a monster. I—Ow!”

The bunny had jumped up and slapped me on the cheek. I touched my hoof to the spot that had been slapped and stared at the bunny in shock. He stared at me in disapproval and shook his head. Then he held his arms out for a hug. I stared at him in shock. He waved his arms insistently. My eyes softened.

“Okay.”

I leaned in and hugged him. We stayed together, simply hugging for a while. Then I spoke.

“I was just so angry. He wanted me to feel bad. He wanted me to cry. But when he started hurting that poor colt, I just snapped. I wanted him to stop hurting that colt. I wanted him to stop hurting me. I don’t even feel bad for killing him. I’m a monster—Ow!”

I raised my hoof to my cheek again. The bunny hopped back and pantomimed a monster, roaring and waving its arms around like claws. He then crossed his arms across his chest while shaking his head. He finished by pointing at me.

“I’m not a monster? But—”

He then held up a hand. He lay on the floor, playing dead, before getting up and pretending to be a monster again.

“He was the monster? Well, he was pretty cruel… But did he deserve to die?”

I glanced at the rabbit to see it nodding vigorously. I gasped in shock.

“What! How could you say such a thing!”

The rabbit pantomimed the dead monster once again. He then struck a heroic pose and pointed at me.

“I’m a hero? He was a monster? I guess heroes slay monsters.”

Something felt wrong about that to me. I definitely didn’t feel very heroic. The bunny opened his arms again for another hug. Sighing, I leaned in for the hug.

“Thank you,” I said. “I'm still so confused. But I feel better, I guess. So, thank you. You’re an angel.”

A thought occurred to me.

“You know what? You need a name. Would you like for me to call you Angel?”

The bunny beamed and hugged me tighter. I smiled.

“You’ll be my very own Angel Bunny.”

Chapter 5: For richer, For Poorer, In Sickness and In Health

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Warning: Rape Scene. See A/N for for Too Clop Didn't Read summary

I had never been as terrified before in my life as I was now. In the past few years since I had met Angel bunny, I had faced down timberwolves, negotiated territory disputes between angry bears and even angrier manticores, and even faced down a bunny stampede. I shivered as the memory came back to me, of thousands of tiny feet trampling down on me in every direction while I choked on the dust they had thrown into the air. I quickly banished the thought from my mind as I faced down the situation in front of me.

Scornful and judging blue eyes stared at me from the heavyset, bearded face of a pegasus stallion that stood between me and the happiness of my best friend. He stood at least a head taller than me, his muscles rippling as he moved his head to scrutinize me further. His blue cap looked far too much like a policepony’s cap for my comfort. As he adjusted his red bow tie, something metallic glinted under his rugged wifebeater. His mouth, a thin, disapproving line, opened as he spoke.

“You gonna buy a cherry or just stare at me all day?”

Oh, no! He saw me! I couldn’t do this. It was too much pressure! It couldn’t take it! I would crack! I backed away and shook my head. The cherry vendor scoffed and turned away as I walked away in shame. I sighed in relief, before shaking my head. What was I doing? I had come out here to the town–which was apparently called Ponyville–with my hair dyed green and wearing a face-concealing hat made of leaves, all because I wanted to make Angel a special recipe for his birthday. Angel had always had a fondness for salads with cherries on top, but cherries were usually too expensive to buy. Not to mention the risk of getting caught.

Every time I came out to this place was a huge risk, but there was nowhere else to go to get cherries. Cherries only came from the far south, where the Cherry family lived. Only one merchant in the entire area sold them, and he traveled back and forth, setting up a stand on the outskirts of Ponyville every weekend. Today was the Angel’s birthday, and my last chance to buy him something special. And I was walking away from that chance.

“You’re a scaredypony Fluttershy!” I whispered to myself harshly. “You’ve already risked getting caught and thrown in Tartarus for this. And Angel will be so sad when you don’t get him anything for his birthday!” I turned around. “For Angel!”

I walked up to the cherry vendor one more time. He turned a disinterested eye to me. “What’s this, the third time? You gonna buy something or not?”

I quivered. ‘For Angel,’ I thought, and opened my mouth.

“I want to buy a cherry,” I told him, eyes focused on the cherry so as to not look at the stallion as he stared down at me with his eyes. His intimidating, scary, judging, watching, all-knowing—I had to get out of here! Just as I was about to turn away to flee, his voice broke through my panic.

“That’ll be eight bits.”

I shot my head up in surprise. What?

“But you sold them last week for five bits!”

He smirked down at me. “Yeah. Last week.”

My hooves shook under me as if the world itself was falling apart. What was I going to do? I didn’t have the bits. I had only managed to scrape together seven bits from working odd jobs for non-pegasus ponies that were from out of town and wouldn’t likely remember me.

I couldn’t take the risk of anypony finding me. I had seen that notice on the Ponyville notice board, the piece of paper with bold words printed on it: “Wanted: Suspected of ponyslaughter. Wanted for questioning.” They had plastered a picture of my face on it. I was crouching awkwardly as I attempted, but failed, to smile into the camera. Instead, what came out was a picture of me looking like a cringing, ratty waif. My eyes, which I had narrowed because the camera flash had startled me, looked shrewd and conniving. My hair covered part of my face, giving me a somewhat sinister look.

Ever since I saw that poster, I knew that if I got caught, I would be interrogated. And I was interrogated, I would break. I would tell the truth. I would tell them that I was a killer, and then I would be thrown into Tartarus.

And now here I was, with seven bits to my name, living in the fields with the bunnies and trying to buy a cherry with my life savings. And it still wasn’t enough. My ears drooped and my eyes lowered. I desperately struggled against the tears that gathered in my eyes. I spoke up desperately in the vain hope that he would reconsider.

“Sir, you don’t understand! I need a cherry! My life will be over if I don’t get that cherry!” Maybe not literally, but I just couldn’t stand the idea of having nothing to give to Angel for his birthday. I looked up to him. He had taught me how to hide, how to live in the wild, how to speak to animals and put my hoof down when necessary. I had to make his birthday special.

The stallion remained unimpressed. “Yeah? And I thought my life would be over when my first marefriend left me. I’m still here. You’ll be fine without that cherry. You think you need it? So does everypony else. Now either pay or scram.”

I looked around. There was nopony else nearby. It was early in the morning. I had woken up early to make sure that there would be as few ponies as possible so as to minimize the chance of getting caught.

“But there’s nopony else here! For all you know, I could be the only one that wants to buy a cherry!” This wasn’t going to work. We both knew that what I said wasn’t true.

He predictably scoffed. “Yeah, well there’s going to be a huge rush soon. Maybe if I still have some in the evening, I’ll sell them to you for cheap. But I doubt it.”

I doubted it too. He had sold out before noon last week.

“Please! I’ll do anything! I’ll clean your laundry! I’ll shine your shoes!” I burst out.

He glanced down at his clothes, frowning. “You tryin’ to imply something girly?”

He took a menacing step forward out of his booth, eyes fixing me with a glare. I trembled and took a step back. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean anything, I just thought—”

He burst out into a chuckle, but the glare didn’t quite leave his eyes. “I’m just kidding. So tell me, why don’t you just ask go home and come back with an extra bit?”

His words made sense. Any other pony would have just taken his advice. But I knew that tone. That purple teenage schoolteacher used it when she kept asking me questions about where I was from. He was fishing around for information! My heart sped up. He might have recognized me from the wanted poster.

“Um.” I paused. I couldn’t tell him I was from some faraway place. He might check! And if he checked, I would be found out.

“Um.” What could I tell him? It had to be something that he couldn’t trace.

“I-I travel a lot, and this is all I have.” There. Simple but vague.

He smiled at me triumphantly. Had I said something to give me away? I hid myself under my mane, before worrying that the green might have washed off. I tried to check it for pink spots, but he interrupted.

“Oh, you travel? Just you and your parents, huh?”

I breathed a small sigh of relief. This question was one that I had been asked a lot when I was a filly. “Oh, no sir. I’m an orphan. I’m a wandering animal caretaker, though I can do other jobs too.”

His grin bore down on me. I didn’t like that grin. He smiled like a timberwolf grinning down at a poor innocent bunny right before it tried to gobble it whole. I wondered whether he would try to eat me. I looked at his teeth, and comforted myself with the knowledge that they weren’t any sharper than a normal pony’s teeth. They were a little crooked, though. They reminded me of something, though I couldn’t quite figure out what they reminded me of.

He sized me up and said, “Other jobs, huh? Well, how about an even trade. I’ll give you my cherry if you give me yours.”

My face scrunched up. “My cherry? Oh, I don’t have one.” Wasn’t that the reason I was buying his? Was he feeling alright? I looked him over in concern.

He rolled his eyes and snickered. “Well, of course not. We got a few minutes till the usual customers get here, though. Wanna work for your cherry or not?”

My eyes lit up. I wasn’t sure what he was talking about, but if it would make Angel happy, then it was worth it.

He took a step into his tent and held it open for me. “Fillies first,” he said waving me in. His grin was even wider now.

I hesitated. Maybe this was a bad idea. This had the word “trap” written all over it.

He waved again impatiently. “Come on, we don’t have all day. I gotta actually sell some of these, you know.”

I took a deep breath and muttered, “For Angel,” one more time. I had come this far. I couldn’t back out now. I walked inside.

The tent was bigger on the inside than it had seemed from the outside. A single foldable table sat in the center, with various cooking utensils scattered on the floor around it. Near the back corner of the tent lay a large and plush bed with an attached lamp. A few magazines and some clothes lay scattered around the floor by the lamp.

I looked around suspiciously, but I didn’t see anything that indicated that he was a cannibal. Maybe he hid the bones? I knew that timberwolves buried them. I put my nose to the ground to the ground to try to sniff out blood. I didn’t smell anything. I was probably just being silly. Just because he looked scary, it didn’t mean that he was a bad pony. I should know better, after meeting Harry the bear.

As I lifted my head from the ground, I took a breath and spoke up. “So, um. What did you want me to do, exactly? If you don’t mind me asking, I me-eep!” His hoof was touching my flank and rubbing it. I froze. I hadn’t been touched by a pony in years. Sure I hugged Angel all the time, and sometimes cuddled with other animals, but this was the first time another pony had touched me. I felt a strange kind of warmth spread from where he had touched me. I blushed and shied away from him. What was that?

He leaned in further and put his other hoof around my neck as his face appeared behind my ear. I shuddered at how close he was to me. His hot breath ran up my neck. I tensed and the hoof he was rubbing my flank with moved back towards my haunch. As the hot feeling from his hoof intensified, I felt something ache within me.

“I’m kind of a dominant type. You ain't met a stallion like me before. You just relax now and let me work my magic,” he whispered into my ear.

I frowned in confusion. Magic? Wasn’t he a pegasus? And what was a dominant type? Though I was distracted, I definitely felt something wet and fleshy run along my neck. A jolt of adrenaline shot through me. He was licking my neck now! Oh Celestia! He did want to eat me!

“Please don’t eat me,” I begged, knowing I was helpless to stop him. The way his legs coiled around me reminded me of a snake coiled around a mouse. The harder the mouse struggled, the tighter the snake would coil. I held still in the vain hope that he would change his mind.

He chuckled deeply and said, “Aren’t you just the cutest thing ever. Now what’s stopping me from gobbling you whole?”

With my suspicions confirmed, I began to scream as loudly as I could. All I wanted was to give Angel a nice birthday present. Poor Angel. I had been so eager to surprise him that I hadn’t even said goodbye. Would he go looking for me, only to never find me? Maybe he would find my bones and give me a nice burial? Would he be alright on his own without me?

I felt his hot breath against my neck as he chuckled breathily. “Damn that was adorable.”

Well, screaming didn’t help at all. I bit my lip. Maybe reasoning would? “Well, mister. I’m a nice pony and I think you’re a nice pony and nice ponies should be nice to each other. I probably don’t even taste good,” I pleaded to him, words rushing out of my mouth in a frenzy.

I was barely paying attention to them anymore, though. I felt dizzy. Had he poisoned me with something? My knees were wobbling from lifting up both myself and the stallion, but they were also trembling from fear and… something else. I felt a dull thumping in my head, and some kind of burning feeling in my chest. Was this what it felt like to stare death in the face? It didn’t feel as bad as I thought it would be. In fact, it felt kind of… nice in a way. What was wrong with me?

The stallion chuckled. “Well, I think you’re a very naughty pony. And you taste just fine to me. Let’s get a better taste,” he said before moving his tongue up to my ear. I moaned involuntarily as he began to nibble. To my surprise, he wasn’t nibbling very hard.

‘Why don’t you just eat me already?’ I thought furiously, before realizing that I wanted him to eat me. What was wrong with me? Was his tongue coated with some kind of insanity inducing cannibal juice?

His tongue moved back down to my neck and I felt myself twist my neck towards him in ecstasy. This was sick. He couldn’t just eat me with dignity. He had to make me throw myself into his mouth.

I felt a sharp pain as something stabbed into me from behind. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed him holding up his hoof, a trail of blood dripping from it.

He looked confused. “Wait, didn’t you say you’ve done this before?”

I hadn’t said anything like that! And even if I had, how could I have been eaten before? He was making no sense! I was completely speechless. What in Equestria was going on?

Before I could gather my thoughts and answer him, he said, “Ah, screw it. None of my business. Just spread ‘em.”

Spread them? Spread what? My eyes bulged as a giant wormlike appendage appeared out from under him. Looking at it made me sick, so I turned my eyes away. Wait! I turned my eyes back. I had seen that before, somewhere. Anatomy lessons from a lifetime ago flooded my mind. I gulped.

“Oh, dear,” I uttered, realizing what was going on. He wasn’t trying to eat me. We were mating. The scientific word for it was coitus. That was his penis. Typically, a stallion needed to engage in foreplay before unsheathing his penis and impregnating a mare. That was what we had been doing. Oh, Celestia. He wanted to make a baby with me. Why me? Why did he even want a baby? Was he doing it because he felt nice? Didn’t he know I could get pregnant? I wasn’t ready for a baby!

I looked down at my vagina and saw it was bleeding. He had torn my hymen with his hoof. I had lost my virginity to somepony whose name I didn't even know. I felt sick. It wasn’t the pleasantly strange kind of sickness that I had been feeling before. I wanted to go home and wash myself until I drowned. Mating was supposed to be between special someponies. I didn’t even know his name. I couldn’t stay here any longer. I definitely couldn’t let him finish this.

Armed with the knowledge that he wasn’t going to eat me, I made a run for it. A strong hoof grabbed me and held me tight. I flapped furiously in an attempt to get away. It was useless. He was too strong.

“Hey!” he glared down at me. “What do you think you’re doing?”

A tear rolled down my cheek. “I’m sorry! This is all a misunderstanding! I didn’t know—I can’t—I don’t want this!” I babbled.

His glare deepened. “What the hay, bitch?! You can’t just swish your tail at me and let me show you a good time and then call rape!”

I sobbed deeper. Was he right? Was this my fault? I should have just left when I had the chance! How had I not realized what was going on? I had read the chapter on pony reproduction and had the best grades in the class. But nothing had prepared me for this!

I looked up at him. “Please just let me go,” I begged.

His expression grew darker. “You wanna make me angry, well I’m fucking pissed!”

I struggled harder. His grip tightened to a stranglehold. He shifted his left hoof, which had been grabbing me around the waist, and lifted my body into the air. As he did so, his right hoof shoved me forward towards the bed.

“You like it rough, don’t you. You wanna get dominated, don’t you!” he shouted.

Whatever that meant, it definitely sounded painful. I twisted my head around to look for anything that could help me. A knife lay on the floor next to the table.

I gulped. Why was the first thing I thought of a knife? Was this what I had turned into? I took a deep breath and summoned all of my courage. No matter how mean he seemed, this was just a misunderstanding.

“I’m sorry,” I began. “I didn’t mean t—”

I gasped as he slammed his hoof into the back of my head. I felt his breath by my neck again.

“And I really don’t care,” he declared before grabbing my neck and smashing my face into the bed.

My face landed in the blanket with my mouth completely covered. I tried to breathe through it but it was too thick. I tried twisting my neck around, but his hoof cut into my skin. I stopped moving, hoping that maybe it would hurt less if I did, but the suffocating pain in my chest forced me to tilt my head one last time. His hoof sliced against my neck, and I whimpered in pain, gagging. Tears blurred my vision as I beat at him with my wings in attempt to dislodge him. His hoof removed itself from my neck. I twisted my neck, wincing at the painful act, and sputtered as I gasped for air. Teeth bit down on my wings. I exhaled something between a shriek and a whimper.

“Shut up!” the stallion commanded, shoving me back down, pinning my body to the bed. I twisted and struggled to break free, but he bit my wings again. I grunted as he forced my head down, barely able to breath anymore. I felt a sharp pain in my vagina as he penetrated me from behind.

Tears blurred my vision. How could a pony be so cruel?

I had tried to apologize. It was all just a big misunderstanding. But he didn't care. He just took what he wanted, and he didn't care who he hurt.

Maybe he was a monster. Maybe he really was just like Slammer. Maybe I really should have grabbed that knife when I had the chance.

I internally shook my head. That was wrong, wasn't it?

The stallion shoved himself over me again and I collapsed downward, gritting my teeth as my right leg bent into my chest at an awkward angle. He thrust again, and as he pushed me down, my hoof jabbed into my chest again.

I glanced down.

Blood stained the bedsheets and the tips of my hoof. My blood.

I felt sick. My vision blurred, and for a moment, everything flickered to red.

For a moment, I felt my lips twisting upwards. It was almost funny. I had spent my entire childhood getting beaten up by bullies. And now, here I was, a fully grown pony, still getting beaten up. Because I was helpless. Because I never fought back back. Because I didn't want to be a monster like them.

But now? Now that sounded... childish. Naive. And really, really painful.

Though the stallion's hot breath blazed like flames against my bruised neck, with each of his thrusts, something in my chest was growing colder and colder.

Maybe being a monster wouldn't be so bad. Monsters didn't get picked on in school. Monsters didn't get raped while buying cherries. Maybe I really should have gotten that knife when I had the chance.

With a grunt of effort, I pulled my leg out from under my chest. It had fallen asleep and felt all tingly. I remembered that back when I was a filly, I would sometimes make my leg fall asleep so I could feel that tingly sensation. It wasn’t very painful. It just felt funny.

I smiled, and for a moment, the pain wasn't so bad. I blinked. Maybe I should remember more happy memories from my childhood. It was escapism, but I had nothing better to do while the stallion was torturing me, and I was really good at running away.

But happy memories did I have? Besides the eyes that stared at me, judging my every stupid mistake? Besides the bullies who would hurt me just because it was funny to them? Besides biting my hoofnails out every time Angel Bunny—

Angel Bunny!

I smiled, suddenly remembering something.

I crouched low, examining the tiny paw print. My prey was near. The print was still molding itself into shape, which meant that my quarry had just passed through here less than a minute ago. I raised my ear flaps and listened.

There! The pitter patter of tiny feet sounded like thunder in the eerie silence of the Everfree Forest. I crept towards the noise, making sure that I didn’t step on any of the branches that were lying around. Moving slowly, I made sure that my breath was as shallow as possible. My prey had the most sensitive ears I had ever seen, except maybe Bruce the Bat’s. As I drew near, something must have alerted my target, because I saw something white streak out from a nearby shrubbery.

I shot out after him. I knew he could sprint faster than me, but I could hold out for longer. I kept running as quickly as I could, but I was losing him. Frustrated, I beat my wings to give myself a quick speed boost. I felt myself wobble a bit as I lost my balance, so I beat my wings harder and lifted off the ground. Now flying at my target, I noticed him slowing down. I beat my wings harder as I touched down on the ground, balance restored slightly. As I drew closer, a broad grin filled my face. It was the first time I had ever gotten this close.

Suddenly, the streak of white shifted to the right in a sharp, almost ninety degree turn. I stumbled as I tried to slow down and shift my momentum. I turned to my right, but couldn’t find him. I rushed forward, before realizing I couldn’t hear him either. I slowed to a stop and lifted my ear flaps again. His tracks led into a nearby hollowed out log. I grinned, before peering into the log, hooves ready to grab him if he tried to make a run for it.

A furious white bunny burst out from the log, hind leg extended for a flying kick that was aimed at my face. I closed my eyes and flung my hooves together, trapping the bunny, but taking the kick in the process.

“Oof!” I grunted as I tumbled backwards. I felt the bunny clawing and scratching at me, but I didn’t let go. Not now. I had been trying to catch him for months, and a few scratches weren’t going to make me let go now!

“Ow!” I shouted, blinking back tears. He had bit me!

“Angel! That was mean!” I complained, still holding onto him. “Why can’t we just play regular tag?”

Angel’s head popped out from my hooves and scowled at me. He struggled for a bit more and then hung limp in defeat.

I set him down gently. “You’re it.” I said gently, smiling. Well, smirking actually. I knew it was mean, rubbing it in, but I just couldn’t help myself. Angel grinned evilly back at me. I felt my smirk fade and trepidation fill me. He was it now. Oh, dear.

Yet as I looked at him, I saw a newfound respect in his eyes. My heart warmed, and a smile—definitely a smile this time—appear on my face.

My face smashed into the floor. I moaned in pain and confusion as the world turned grey for a moment. Rough hooves pressed around my neck, crushing me deeper against the ground. I felt something warm spurt into me, and I prayed to Celestia that I wouldn't get pregnant.

Finally, the stallion released my neck. I gasped for air as I felt him shift off of me. Everything ached. My legs tingled as if thousands of tiny daggers pierced them. My wings were bent and bloody and twisted. I tried to flex them, but a sharp pain shot through them, and I immediately stopped.

I felt something hit my face and bounce off. I looked down. It was a cherry.

“Now get out.” I heard the cherry vendor say.

I looked at him, and then at the cherry. What was it for? Why would I care about a cherry? I opened my mouth. Closed it. Opened it again. Picked up the cherry. And left.

Chapter 6: Party Crashing Party

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I stumbled around, my hooves following muscle memory to find my way back home. My mind was a mess. A raging storm of discordant thoughts filled my head, each more full of self-loathing than the last. Was this my fault? Did I make him do that? Why didn’t I try to stop him?

“And I really don’t care,” he sneered as he shoved my face into the bed, cutting off my apology.

My shoulders shook. It didn’t matter. I had apologized. I didn’t mean to hurt him. He was a monster. He deserved to be punished. I would go straight to the police… but I couldn’t. The police would investigate me too. They wouldn’t just accept some pony that appeared out of nowhere…

Oh, no. He knew.

The monster's face grinned down at me, the triumphant and ravenous grin of a timberwolf torn between playing with its prey and devouring it.

My own words resounded through my head. “Oh, no sir. I’m an orphan. I’m a wandering animal caretaker,” I had said. Stupid Fluttershy. He had seen right through me. He had seen my desperation. He had seen my inability to fight back. He had seen me. And he ate me whole, body and mind and spirit, worse than any timberwolf ever could.

I shuddered. He was a monster. How could anypony think like that? How could anypony see the vulnerabilities of another pony and strike at them for no reason? It was just senseless cruelty.

My blood chilled. He had seen me. Everything about me. He knew how every part of my felt and looked. I was completely violated. I shuddered. I looked at my mane and saw cracks in the dye job I had used. Flecks of pink popped out from under the green. I quickly smeared some blood over the pink spots to hide them.

I gulped and looked around. I stood in a clearing in front of Ponyville. The market was just past a river that marked the border of Ponyville. I looked back towards the marketplace. Ponies were starting to come into the market. I saw the cherry salesman peddling his wares as if nothing had happened. A mare was buying a cherry as I stood there. Would he take her next? Did he even care who he took?

I gazed up at the beast, shuddering in fear. Its eyes burned into mine and devoured the ashes of what remained. Its mouth opened, and its tongue pressed against my neck. Feeling me. Tasting me. Owning me.

The harsh, sneering voice of my past whispered in my ear, “You ain’t saving anypony, Daring Don’t.”

Slammer? My heart wanted to escape from my chest as I turned and ran. Slammer had been right all along. What did it even matter? I couldn’t help anypony. I couldn’t even help myself.

I looked back at the monster in the marketplace. It smiled at the mare and the mare smiled back. I stopped running.

My skin was clammy and wet. My hooves trembled and my heart throbbed as though it was bursting. No one knew. There was a monster living in plain sight, a monster that wore the face of a regular pony in public until he beckoned the innocent into his den and devoured them. And no one knew.

A tear trailed down my eyes. The way it saw through me spoke of experience. How many had it raped? I wasn’t the only one; I knew that much. Those poor ponies.

I had to do something. I couldn’t just stand back and watch this creature wreak its insidious trail of deception and destruction through Equestria. Slammer was wrong. I was the only one who saw the menace. I would save them all. I had to.

I turned back to Ponyville. But how? He was bigger and stronger than me. I couldn’t call the police. I couldn’t do anything. But I had to try. Taking a deep breath, I crossed the bridge over the river and entered the market. I would slay the beast. I would save–A shiny glint caught my eye.

I stopped breathing.

At first the magnifying glass appeared. The gigantic baby blue eye within it seemed to grotesquely pop out from its socket, shifting around in wild patterns. I felt alarms blaring in my head as a pink pony’s head appeared from behind it. Strands of frizzy pink trailed down from a deerstalker like that of the famous detective, Sherclop Pones. An enormous grin mounted the face under the cap, obscured somewhat by the pipe that it clutched in its teeth. The eye in the magnifying glass stared straight at me.

“Save me!” I simultaneously whispered and shouted at any deity who may have been listening, before bolting from the scene. From behind me, I heard a triumphant cry of “Aha!”

I galloped at full speed, using my wings to push myself even faster as I tried to escape. That pony was the bane of my existence. She was the reason I came to Ponyville as little as possible.

I kicked at the ground nervously, trying to make up my mind. In one hoof, I held a single bit. The other leaned on a candy cane coloured pole that held up a portion of the roof of the store I was hovering around. The words “Sugarcube Corner” were emblazoned across the store’s sign, under a giant cupcake. It was obviously a sweet shop. I had one bit left from shopping, and it wasn’t likely that I would be coming back for a while. And that cupcake did look tempting.

My stomach rumbled. I looked around sheepishly to see if anyone had heard. Baby blue eyes stared into my own. I spun around and gazed at the sight of a pink earth pony wearing a strange hat with a propeller on top beaming at me.

“Found you!” the pony sang out. I looked around. There was no one else in sight.

“Who, me?” I asked, ducking behind my mane. Maybe she had mistaken me for somepony else.

The pony giggled and opened her mouth. “My Pinkie Senses were tingling and telling me there was a new pony in town so I went to look for you but I couldn’t find you and I looked everywhere for hours and hours and I thought that maybe my senses were wrong so I went back home and then I found you! I found you! IfoundyouIfoundyou!”

I gaped at this clearly insane pony. I shook my head. Maybe I was being too harsh. If I had been looking for somepony for hours I’d be excited to find them. I frowned. Why was she looking for me?

“Um, why were you looking for me?” I asked, now backing up my hooves to hide deeper into my mane.

The pony giggled and said “I’m Pinkie Pie! What’s your name?”

I mentally slapped myself. Was I doing that thing again where I was barely squeaking out the words I wanted to say?

I cleared my throat. “I’m F…” — wait. I couldn’t just tell her my real name. I looked around, trying to make up a name. My eyes caught trained in onto my cutie mark.

“I’m Butterfly,” I lied. I felt terrible for lying, but such was the life of a fugitive. ‘I’ll make it up to her later,’ I promised myself.

Pinkie Pie was talking. I started listening again. “—party, just for you! There’ll be streamers and cotton candy and dancing! You’ll get to shake a hoof thang, or cut a rug if that’s your style! And, you’ll get to meet every pony in town! It’ll be tons of fun!”

That last part didn’t sound fun to me. It sounded pretty scary. I backed away, averted my eyes, and whispered “Oh, I don’t think that’s necessary.”

Pinkie Pie beamed. “Of course it is, silly filly! How else is everypony going to get to know you and make friends? That’s why I throw a Welcome to Ponyville Party for every new pony in Ponyville!”

I shook my head. “Really, it’s fine.” I insisted. I really didn’t like parties. I liked quiet. Parties weren’t quiet at all.

Pinkie’s smile drooped. “Aww, why not? Parties are fun! Everypony likes parties!”

“Because I’m a fugitive from the law and attention focused on me is something I don’t like anyway?” I carefully did not say. I couldn’t think of anything that wouldn’t offend her, so I just said nothing.

I glanced in Pinkie Pie’s direction. Oh, Celestia. Her eyes had grown huge and her lips were pouting. I averted my eyes. Was that a tear I saw? I looked back. It was! I stammered incoherently. I averted my eyes as I felt myself cracking under the pressure.

“Um. Look, a distraction?!” I half-shouted and half-asked as I pointed directly behind Pinkie.

Miraculously, it worked. She spun around and shouted, “Where?”

Hardly believing my luck, I turned around and fled. I heard Pinkie exclaim from behind me “Oh, you’re good!”

The rest of the day was a blur, with Pinkie hounding my footsteps no matter where I went, until I finally found the one place that even Pinkie dared not go. The Everfree Forest.

It was the only place I could hide from Pinkie. Somehow, she always knew when I entered Ponyville.

I heard her howling behind me. “One year! You’ve avoided me for an entire year! NOPONY ESCAPES A PINKIE PARTY!”

I turned my head around to see Pinkie charging at me, eyes bloodshot and body literally flaming. Didn’t that hurt?

Guiltily, I shouted back, “Just throw somepony else a party! I’m not an interesting pony!”

Pinkie hollered back, “Are you kidding? You’re amazingly fun! Nopony’s ever managed to escape my Pinkie Senses before! Are you a wizard?”

Well, she was having fun. That made one of us. I gasped for breath as the edge of the Everfree drew near. I turned my head and saw my pursuer gaining on me. With a final burst of energy, I leaped into the forest and looked around for my hiding spot.

A seemingly innocuous log lay on the ground. I knew better. Gasping for breath, I crouched next to it and searched the surface of the log for a groove that was chiseled in by Mr Beaverton Beaverteeth himself.

Though grouchy, that beaver was an unparalleled woodworker. I smiled fondly as I remembered how he made a wooden carving of me for my birthday. The carving made me look so brave and bold. I looked a little like Commander Hurricane from the stories of Hearth’s Warming Eve. Commander Fluttershy. I giggled.

With a crash, Pinkie Pie burst through the trees. She landed on her hooves, teeth bared in a huge manic smile as she breathed in deeply.

“BUTTERFLY! ARE YOU READY TO PAAAARTAY IN THE EVERFREE?” she yelled, voice echoing through the silence of the forest.

My heart stopped. She never followed me into the forest before! My eyes darted around. Her yelling was attracting every creepy crawly evil monster that lived here! I almost got up to hush her, but stopped myself in time.

“I JUST WANNA BE YOUR FRIEND!” she cried out. Two pairs of glowing green eyes appeared out of the darkness. I gulped. Timberwolves! And where there were timberwolves, there were more timberwolves.

I pushed the hidden grove and it slid inwards, smooth lacquer lubricating the way for the sliding knob. I then found two more such groves and pushed with my wings. With a quiet click, a hatch on the log slid open, revealing the hollowed out inside. I reached in and pulled out three sharpened pieces of wood. They were shards of the branch that had impaled Slammer. Angel had somehow had them turned into daggers and insisted that I keep them with me. Of course, I couldn’t just walk into Ponyville armed with daggers, so I kept them by the edge of the Everfree Forest.

I held one dagger in my teeth and the others in my wings. While timberwolves were large and intimidating, they were not actually as dangerous as they looked. While they looked alive, they were actually just a bunch of twigs and bark held together by magic. And since that was the case, they fell apart as soon as enough of the branches they were made of broke. The problem was getting in close enough to break them.

Realizing that I would probably have to save Pinkie, I stood up. “Pinkie, I think we have bigger problems,” I whispered harshly at her through the knife in my mouth. I took a step forward, glaring at the timberwolves. This was probably a bad idea, but I couldn’t just let her die here.

“YOU!” Pinkie cried, lunging towards me, arms wide as she came in for a flying tackle. Aided by a sharp flap of my wings for extra lift, I sidestepped out of the way, eyes scanning the surroundings. Two snarling timberwolves stepped out of the brush.

I heard Pinkie exclaim from behind me, “Oooh, you're a ninja! That explains everything! Is that why you like to play hide and go seek so much? Ooh! I know! What if we had a ninja party? Do ninjas have parties?”

I sighed. Did we have to do this now?

The timberwolves circled around us, drawing closer with every step. I narrowed my eyes. One of the timberwolves was about to step over a log. I breathed in. The timberwolf’s paw landed, leaving it in a position where it couldn’t turn quickly.

I pounced at the other one and drove my knife into it, knowing that I had a split second to kill it before the other one recovered. I jammed the two knives on my wings into the timberwolf’s snarling teeth to hold it back as I pushed the knife in my teeth into one of its glowing eyes. The knife wedged itself into the swirling green miasma in the timberwolf’s eye and slowed to a stop as if caught by hardened tree sap. I grunted and jerked my neck with all the strength I could muster, tearing the knife through the green magical barrier in the timberwolf’s eye and pulling it free. With a howl, the timberwolf collapsed to the ground as a pile of twigs.

I spun towards the other timberwolf, daggers held ready to impale it as it leaped towards me. Seeing the danger, the timberwolf shifted its momentum and spun around. The sharp claws on its paw extended as the timberwolf raised its hind leg to slash at me. I flapped my wings to gain lift, dropping the knives that I held in them. My wing—the one that the stallion had bitten before—screamed at me, but my survival instincts forced my wings to keep pumping furiously.

I felt the timberwolf’s sharp claws scrape a little skin my abdomen as I clamped my legs together around its back. As it bucked to try to throw me off, I used my last dregs of strength and jammed my remaining knife down into the crack between its head and the rest of its body. The timberwolf collapsed. I tumbled to the floor ungracefully and landed on the scattered debris. I gasped for air and clutched at the base of my wing. My body throbbed with pain. My wings, my neck, my scratched belly… everything screamed at me to just lie down in a hole somewhere and never leave.

Something rustled behind me. I heard a timberwolf snarl and Pinkie Pie shout, “Belay that ye scurvy swab!”

I turned around to see a third timberwolf—about to sink its jaws into me—turn to twigs as the sound of a cannon going off boomed through the forest. I closed my eyes as detritus splattered all over me, along with what looked like a mix of confetti and streamers. I looked to the source, to see none other than Pinkie Pie wearing an eyepatch, standing next to a blue cannon.

“You like it?” Pinkie asked, “It’s my party cannon!”

At this point I just decided to suspend my disbelief of what this crazy mare was capable of. I cleared my throat. “It’s very nice,” I replied cautiously to the mare with a cannon aimed at me. My eyes scanned the ground around me and found the knives I had dropped. I looked back at Pinkie Pie as I picked them up with my wings. Her eyepatch and cannon had disappeared.

I gazed down at her hooves. “Pinkie Pie, you really shouldn’t stand there,” I said, noticing the field of blue flowers that she was standing in. The nice zebra mare that lived nearby had called the flowers poison joke. Apparently, they were called that because played tricks on ponies that inhaled their pollen. I had stepped into a field of them once before. I didn’t think they were very funny.

As I picked up my knives and strapped them to my legs, Pinkie Pie jumped up and down, scattering poison joke pollen all over herself and creating a spreading cloud of smoke. I flinched and stepped back.

Pinkie Pie chortled as she jumped. “Well, duh! This whole forest is ooky spooky! Come on, let’s go back to Ponyville!” she said, turning and bouncing back the way she came.

Parties had always terrified me. Pinkie Pie was a party on four hooves. I wanted to turn around and hide deeper into the forest and never see her again. But I couldn’t. Considering the amount of laughing and jumping she was doing in that field, she had probably overdosed on that pollen. I couldn’t just leave her like that. Who knew what kind of effects it could have on her? She could turn into a chicken, and no one would ever know. Not that there was anything wrong with being a chicken. I had many chicken friends and they were all very nice chickens. But she could also be forced to talk only in rhyme, like I had been when I had first stepped into the poison joke. Or worse, she could turn tiny and accidentally be crushed.

A sharp hoof bit into by neck as it forced my face down. I couldn’t breathe. My lungs collapsed inwards from a lack of oxygen. I was shrinking in on myself, imploding bit by bit. Crushed by a monster.

I gasped as I rubbed my throat. My neck ached as I rubbed it. I felt something crusty and drew back my hoof. Eww. I was getting dried blood all over my mane. Blood.

The day’s events came flooding back to me. I had been raped, hunted down by an insane pony, attacked by timberwolves, and it probably wasn’t even noon yet. What had I done to deserve this? All I wanted was to live a nice and quiet life with my animal friends.

I curled up into a ball and cried. I just couldn’t catch a—

“Aren’t you coming?” I heard from above me. I felt my head being pulled up. Pinkie’s smiling face appeared in front of me. Her smile disappeared as a look of concern replaced it. “Are you ok? You’re crying,” she said, leaning in closer, “Are you hurt? Did I do something wrong? I didn’t mean to leave you alone! Oh, Grannie Pie said this would happen!” She inspected her hoof, which was now covered with my blood. “Oh, no! You’re bleeding!” she shouted. I felt pressure building in my head. Unsteadily, I got to my hooves.

“Quiet.” I said. All of the rage and pain and suffering that I had been through today... Enough was enough. Visions of the creature that had raped me danced through my head as I gave Pinkie a stern look. “No.” I repeated.

Pinkie Pie seemed to cower before me silently. I smiled humorlessly at the blissful silence, but my gaze did not waver. “You are going to be quiet. You are going to follow me. You are not going to talk or party or do anything but follow me quietly. Do you understand?” I said, staring at Pinkie intently.

She nodded. Her eyes seemed to glaze over, but I ignored it in favor of enjoying the blissful silence. I turned around and trotted forward, eyes darting around warily. I had to stay strong. As cruel and unfair as the world was, I couldn’t just let it drag me down and swallow me whole! I had let that monster do that to me. Never again!

I walked in stormy silence for a few minutes before I turned back to Pinkie Pie to make sure she was still following me. Surprisingly, she was. I kept walking.

Soon, we found ourselves standing in front of a foreboding looking tree with a door. Potions hung from the branches like Hearth’s Warming Eve decorations, lighting up the tree with a myriad of colours of every tone and hue. From a twisty vial that glowed a bright, pulsating yellow to a round-bottomed flask containing what appeared to be bottled darkness, each potion added a sense of dark mystery to the tree. To complete the effect, a scary looking tribal mask hung over the door as if warning intruders to stay away. This place had once haunted my dreams as one of the horrors of the forest.

I turned to Pinkie Pie, who was no doubt having second thoughts. As I turned my head, I began to explain, “This is Zecora’s hut. She’s a very nice but shy Zebra. You—”

I really looked at Pinkie Pie for the first time since she had stopped talking. A tear trailed from her eye as she trembled in place. Her face had turned pale as she looked past me with a thousand mile stare. Her hair, which had once been bright and puffy, was dull and completely flat. I blinked. Oh, dear.

I approached her cautiously. “Um,” I began, not sure what to say. “Are you alright?” I asked. She didn’t respond. Maybe she was mad at me? I had been awfully rude to her. I had my reasons but she didn’t know any of them, so I had no real excuse for my actions.

“I’m sorry for shouting at you earlier. That was wrong of me.” I apologized, pawing at the ground. I looked at her. She didn’t respond. In fact, she didn’t even move.

Okay. This was bad. I lifted my hoof to touch Pinkie Pie. She didn’t react. I put my hoof on her shoulder and shook her a little. Still nothing. As I touched her, she felt cold and stiff as a corpse. I leaned closer and saw a trace of blue dust covering her body. Okay. Maybe this was a little worse than bad.

Slowly, I turned around and knocked on Zecora’s door. I heard no response. I knocked harder. Still nothing. “Please help me, Zecora,” I whispered. I waited. There was no response. I slowly turned around, desperately hoping that Pinkie Pie would be smiling and talking and partying. She wasn’t.

I looked around. The strange potions that Zecora hung around her home warded away most of the scary things in the forest, so we would be safe as long as we stayed here. I didn’t know when Zecora would get back, though.

I coughed awkwardly and pressed my hoof against Pinkie. I shook her a little. “Pinkie?” I asked helplessly. “So Pinkie. What’s your favorite colour?” I asked. Maybe she would respond to a nice chat? She loved talking, after all. “Mine’s green. It’s such a nice and natural colour. It’s nice and quiet and…” I trailed off. Pinkie stared ahead vacantly.

This clearly wasn’t working. Maybe I should talk about something she liked. “So what do you think about parties?” My eyes darted to her right ear. I could have sworn it twitched. “They have loud noises and cotton candy and dancing and streamers and laughing ponies.” Her ear definitely twitched this time. I smiled. “Everypony will look at you. You’ll be the center of attention. All of those faces, watching you. Judging you…” I trailed off in a whisper, shuddering. I shook my head. That was a horrible attempt. I was trying to save her life, not trying to scorn the reason she had three balloons on her haunch!

I looked at Pinkie Pie. She looked at me, unmoving. Her mouth trembled and her eyes twitched. I took a step towards her. I could definitely see her straining under her mysterious paralysis. I felt terrible. I was terrible at this. I shouldn’t have led her here. I should have known she’d follow me into the forest eventually.

Ignoring the danger, I leaned closer and wrapped my hooves around her. Puffs of blue wafted into the air around me, but I paid no mind. Her shallow breathing across my neck made me twitch as I remembered the last time I felt somepony breathe down my neck. I wanted to pull away in disgust, but held on tight. “Pinkie, I’m sorry. I am! Please say something.”

“mmm sssrry”

I jumped. My eyes shot towards Pinkie. Her eyes turned with excruciating slowness in my direction. Her words sounded strained, and her breathing felt unsteady.

“Pinkie!” I shouted in relief. “Are you alright?”

The corners of Pinkie’s mouth twitched up. “mmm ffffnnnng,” she replied, mouth barely moving.

I looked out into the forest. “Zecora!” I shouted. I thought I heard something in the distance; I hoped it wasn’t my imagination. I turned back to Pinkie Pie. “Don’t worry. Zecora’s going to be here any minute. She knows all sorts of cures. You’re going to be just fine.”

“Huuuug?” Pinkie groaned out. I leaned in and hugged her again. We stayed huddled together for a while, until a bemused voice spoke behind me.

“What brings you fluttering by, my reclusive Butterfly?” Zecora called from behind me. “And with a friend this time,” she continued, “This is news most sublime!”

I turned to Zecora. I had never been so overjoyed at the sight of a black and white mare with glowing eyes barely visible underneath a hooded cloak. I let go of Pinkie and bounded over to Zecora. Zecora’s eyes narrowed as I stepped away, revealing Pinkie’s condition.

“So, this was not a social call, I see,” Zecora said, slowly walking towards Pinkie, “How did she receive such a malady?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t know,” I replied, “I didn’t see anything.” I turned to Pinkie, eyebrows creased. “I should have been watching you. I’m sorry.”

Pinkie Pie breathed out and snorted something unintelligibly. I sighed and looked down. She couldn’t even yell at me for getting her into this mess.

“Now Butterfly, from blaming yourself you must refrain. Healing such conditions is, after all, my domain. You brought her here, to my tree. Calm yourself, and leave the rest to me.” Zecora looked Pinkie over, grimacing in distaste at the sheen of blue over her.

I pawed at the ground. “Do you know what’s wrong with her?”

“A sheen of poison joke seems to cover—” Zecora began.

“But poison joke doesn’t work that quickly!” I interrupted, brushing some of the dust off of Pinkie Pie. As it fell off, I saw that her fur darker than it was before.

Zecora frowned. “I know that, please don’t hover.” She pulled out a pale green potion vial and spilled some of its contents onto Pinkie’s chest. “If you wish to help, then rub this in. Spread it deep onto her skin.”

Nodding in understanding, I furiously rubbed the potion into her chest. I looked at Zecora. She seemed to be watching Pinkie for something. I looked back at Pinkie’s chest. A deep blue aura flecked with glittering white sparks emanated from the part of her chest that the potion had touched. I withdrew my hoof from it and looked at Zecora.

She was frowning. “Though there is a cure, this is indeed most troubling. For now, I will get my cauldron bubbling. Though there is one answer I must hear: How did you get this pony to my lair?”

I blinked. “We walked…” I replied slowly.

Zecora frowned deeper. “The two of you walked, yet she cannot move,” she declared, “Walk inside, I have a suspicion to prove.” She gestured at her home.

Now curious, I walked to the doorway of her home. I heard a groaning sound from behind me. I turned around and saw Pinkie walking towards me, moaning like a zombie. I closed my eyes and opened them again. She was still walking towards me. And moaning. I took a step back and looked harder at Pinkie Pie. My eyes widened.

Her eyes twitched about, unfocused and wild. Her movement reminded me of a crippled bunny that I had cared for once, stubbornly moving despite excruciating agony. I bit my lip, drawing blood, and took a step forward. I rushed forward and reached out to stop Pinkie. As I approached, she stopped moving. Frowning, I slowed down. “Pinkie…” I said, not sure what to do. She stopped moaning and turned her pain filled eyes to me.

I looked at Zecora, slumping my shoulders. “Help her!” I whispered sharply. Zecora looked at me. Her cloak concealed most of her face, but the part that it didn’t conceal revealed none of the thoughts behind it as she stared at me with an unreadable expression. I stared back. What was she waiting for?

Finally, Zecora nodded. She stepped past Pinkie and me into her home. Silently, she gathered a strange display of wormlike plants, all held within bizarrely shaped containers. She then tossed them, containers and all, into her cauldron, and reached for more potion ingredients.

I turned around, leaving her to her work, and examined Pinkie Pie. I put my head to her chest and listened for her heartbeat. Her heart beat was weak, but steady. I pulled my head back and put my hoof in front of Pinkie’s mouth. Her breathing was the same.

I sighed in relief and kicked at the floor. I looked over at Zecora. She seemed to be busily grinding something in a pestle. I rubbed at my neck. I felt something tear and moaned. I looked at my hoof. Some fresh blood speckled in and I made a mental not to not touch my neck again in the near future.

Reminded once more of the incident earlier that day, I brought my bitten wing in front of me. Surprisingly, there was very little blood. The bite wound over my coracoid had scabbed over, leaving a series of tooth-shaped scabs.

I moved my wing back behind me, revealing Zecora, who was standing in front of me shaking her head. I opened my mouth, unsure of what to say, and then closed it again. Zecora had no such reservations.

Pulling down her hood, she took a step forward and looked at me and said, “Though the pink one suffers from her blight, your wing displays a most telling sight. With your answers, now, you cannot afford parsimony. Tell me now, did that bite come from a pony?”

I shook my head and straightened up. “It’s not important. It’s just a—”

“Your mouth stays strong but I hear your heart cry. You are not as worthless as you think, Butterfly.” Zecora cut in, eyes sharp.

I blinked and took a step back. I scuffed at the floor with my hoof. I didn’t think I was unimportant. Pinkie was just more important right now.

I averted my gaze. “Pinkie might be dying. I can handle a bitten wing if it means that she’ll be alright.”

Zecora shook her head. “To the unwary, your words ring true. But what exactly does she mean to you?”

I looked down at Pinkie and thought. What was Pinkie to me? I barely knew her. I had exactly one real conversation with her, which had ended in me running away. She was loud, obnoxious, and… nosy. I grimaced. It wasn’t her fault, though. She was just trying to be friendly. She didn’t know I was running from the law. She was… childish. Like Harry the Bear’s little cub, who had leaped onto me and crushed me under his weight—

A sharp hoof cut into me as it crushed down on my neck. Hot breath curled around my ear. “What a horrible flight accident you just had, right Fluttershy?” a masculine voice whispered harshly into my ear.

I shook my head and put my hoof to my throat. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Zecora shift slightly. I breathed in deeply as I tried to settle my nerves back down. I looked up at Zecora.

I cleared my throat and answered, “She’s my friend.”

Zecora sighed and shook her head again, before reaching down into a cabinet. “If you do not let me fix what is on the inside, then at least your outer wounds I can hide.” Zecora pulled out a bandage soaked with a healing salve.

I nodded, and lowered my neck. The cold salve slapped my neck, making me flinch. As a careful pair of hooves wrapped the bandage around my neck, I squirmed inwardly.

What did she mean, ‘fix’? I was fine. Well, not really. But Pinkie’s life was more important right now than my bad day was. Speaking of which…

“Zecora…” I began, speaking softly so as to not disturb the bandages around my neck.

“My child, feel free to speak. Know that I offer no critique.”

I bit my cheek. I hesitated for a second and then mumbled out “Is she going to make it?”

Zecora hummed behind me for a few anxious seconds before answering, “Your friend here should be just fine, though it is good you brought her to me before the deadline. The light of the next full moon would surely have spelled her doom.”

What. My ear flaps turned towards Zecora as I struggled to stop my head from turning. I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out.

“Do not be alarmed; she will not be harmed,” Zecora added, laying a gentle hoof on my cheek. “Think not of could-bes, but focus on the reality. When she finally drinks my potion she will once again have her motion.”

I stood in silence, letting the healing salve soak in as the potion brewed. I tried to think happy thoughts, like Zecora suggested, but my every thought ran back to the fact that my selfishness had almost killed a fellow pony. If I hadn’t told her to shut up… if I hadn’t lead her into the Everfree… if I had just gone to her party…

Zecora’s hoof rapped me on my forehead. I moved my eyes over to her. “If I may drag you out of your sopor, I believe I’ve seen that look before.”

I flinched. “I’m not wallowing in guilt, really!” I blurted out, before cringing at the obvious lie.

Zecora chuckled and pointed at stoppered vial of milky yellow liquid that was lying on the floor in front of me. She then pointed to Pinkie. “This potion will free her from her chains. For the cure to the poison joke, tomorrow you must come again.”

I picked up the vial in my teeth and looked over at the paralyzed pink pony.

“Should I?” I asked through the vial in my teeth. Zecora nodded. My hoof trembled as I stepped towards Pinkie Pie. Pinkie’s eyes moved over to me as I came closer to her. I paused and placed the vial on the floor. Holding the vial in place with my hooves, I pulled the stopper out and then picked it up in my teeth again. I gently lowered the vial to Pinkie’s open mouth and poured a few drops in.

As soon as the droplets of liquid hit Pinkie’s tongue, they exploded across it like a wave, filling her mouth with a milky yellow sheen, before retreating into her throat. Unperturbed, I poured a few more drops in.

“That tickles!” rasped a now twitching Pinkie. I shushed her and held her mouth still with my forehooves, pouring the rest of the potion in as a trickle of liquid down her throat.

Pinkie shot up, her mane inflating like a balloon. “I LIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!” she screamed, causing some of the jars on the shelves to rattle.

I held my hooves to my ears and closed my eyes. Maybe I should have waited a day before curing her.

I felt hooves wrap around me, crushing down on me. I opened my eyes.

Pinkie’s face leered down on me, glowing green eyes glinting cruelly. Pinkie’s teeth seemed to grow crooked and sharp in front of my eyes as I trembled before her touch.

“You like it rough, don’t you?” she asked.

I shook my pounding head.

“—stick a cupcake in my eye!” Pinkie finished shouting. Her eyes had returned to their original baby blue state and her teeth were perfectly aligned and completely herbivorous. My head was a drum and her every word smashed it to make pure cacophony.

I looked over at Zecora to see if she had noticed anything, but before I had even turned my head around, Pinkie had shot over to her and grabbed her in a bear hug. They toppled to the floor in a tangle, knocking over a few ingredients from the wall. Smoke rose from the ingredients, and I smelled a faint acrid odor fill the air.

“And you! I can’t believe I thought you were a creepy evil enchantress! You’re the nicest enchantress ever! You’re still kind of creepy, though,” Pinkie babbled at Zecora, “But that’s okay! Some ponies call me crazy, and I don’t mind! I bet you’re a blast at Nightmare Night Parties!”

Zecora frowned over at me, unamused. I smiled sheepishly. She looked at the door, then Pinkie, then me. I nodded and tapped Pinkie on the shoulder.

She got off of Zecora, twirled around, and bounced up and down. “Yes?” asked Pinkie.

“Won’t your parents, um, be looking for you?” I tugged at her gently, waving my hoof at the door.

Pinkie gasped. “Oh, no! The Cakes! They’re going to be so worried that I didn’t show up today!”

I nodded. “We should get you back home.” I frowned. Cakes? Wasn’t she Pinkie Pie? Or was she an orphan who had recently been taken in by the Cakes? Was her loud behavior because she was starved for attention? My eyes softened as I led her out of Zecora’s home. Poor thing.

As I turned to wave Zecora goodbye, her eyes seemed to swivel between myself and Pinkie Pie. She sighed and smiled softly. “Butterfly, no matter the reason why, if you need an open ear remember that I am here.”

My eyes teared up. I turned back and opened my mouth, but any words that I was going to say died in my throat. “Okay,” I squeaked out. As I walked out the door, my legs turned heavy. I felt as if I had been running all day, and was now back on the road once again.

I plodded on, barely paying attention to the noises coming from Pinkie’s direction. I was so engrossed with my thoughts I that I didn’t notice that Pinkie had stopped talking until she put her hoof on my shoulder.

“Butters? Are you okay?” she asked.

I blinked. Butters? I shook myself out of my reverie and turned to her. Her hoof rested steadily on my shoulder and her eyes stared at me, focused and serious. I edged away slightly from the intensity of her gaze. I turned my head away and hid behind my mane, eyes peering out. “I’m fine.”

Pinkie pursed her lips. “I’m sorry about trying to force you to have a party. I didn’t know you don’t like parties. I thought everypony liked parties, but…”

From my position of safety behind my mane, I scrunched my face up as my eyes darted to my mane. The green dye was definitely chipping off now. I couldn’t go back to Ponyville like this. “It’s okay, Pinkie,” I replied, “I’m fine.”

Pinkie squeezed my shoulder. “Did you mean what you said back there?” she asked. Her voice seemed mellower and quieter. I turned my head towards her. Her eyes slanted to the side, as if she were afraid to look at me.

I blinked. “I’m fine?” I asked, not sure what she was getting at.

Pinkie smiled, relaxing slightly, and scuffed me playfully. “No, silly filly! That I’m your friend!”

I stared at her. “…Yes.” I felt something twist in my gut.

Pinkie smiled. It wasn’t a loud or noisy smile. She smiled like Angel Bunny did when he tucked me into bed, back when I was a young filly. She smiled a nice, quiet smile. “Well, I meant what I said back there. About finding a way to thank you without parties. I made a Pinkie Promise, and I never break a Pinkie Promise.”

The twisting feeling in my gut faded away as I nodded slowly. Her next words, though, caused the feeling to rise back up with a vengeance.

Pinkie grinned mischievously. “So, need help fighting any meanie monsters?”

I choked on my own spit. What? How did… What?

My hooves clutched my throat I as I coughed to clear it out. As my coughing spasms ceased, I rasped out, “What?”

Pinkie waved one of her hooves as if waving away my question, and used the other to steady me. “Oh, please,” she replied casually as if she wasn’t threatening to expose my very life to… somepony. I wasn’t sure what she was threatening to do with her information, actually. I adjusted my ears and kept my eyes warily on her, body tensed for her next words.

“You’re a ninja wizard. Of course you’re gonna be saving Equestria from evil meanies from a thousand years ago! Can I join? I’ll be the comic relief!”

What? Just what?

I breathed out a short huff of relief and exasperation.

“I’m not a wizard or a ninja,” I argued, “I’m just a pony who likes helping other ponies.”

Pinkie grinned unnervingly. “That’s just what a heroic ninja wizard on a quest to save Equestria would say!” she practically sang.

I shook my head. She wouldn’t be saying that so happily if she knew what I really was.

Smiling, I drew out the tree branch from Slammer’s chest. His screams of agony filled my ears like the crow of a rooster, echoing through my mind as I woke up from a bloody haze.

I shuddered. “I’m not the kind of hero anypony deserves.” With one exception, of course. My thoughts drifted back to the Ponyville market square.

“But you’re the hero Ponyville needs!” Pinkie snickered as if she had just said something hilarious. I rolled my eyes. We had made it to the edge of the Everfree forest. The trees around were growing thinner and straighter and shards of light poked through the canopy. I breathed a sigh of relief.

I replied to Pinkie, “Well, I’m not a ninja or a wizard. And you need to come back tomorrow. You still have some poison joke running through your system.”

Pinkie nodded. “Okay!”

I stopped walking. “Okay, then,” I said before awkwardly adding, “Um, bye.”

Pinkie stopped. “What? But when I tell the Cakes you saved my life we’ll have to throw… Oh.” She bit her lip awkwardly. “Well, do you know if Zecora likes parties?”

I looked at the ground and drew a circle with my hoof. “Um, probably not.” I replied. Seeing the distraught look on her face, I added, “You can ask her when we see her tomorrow, though.”

Pinkie nodded. “Okie dokie lokie! It’s a date!” She bounced off.

My heart stopped for a minute, before I decided that thinking about anything she said wasn’t worth the trouble. I sighed and wiped the sweat from my face. That pink pony was a menace. Forget timberwolves, she would be the one to kill me one day. She would just say something one day, and I would have a heart attack and die. My epitaph would read, “Fluttershy: Joked to Death.”

I turned around and looked at the wooden knives strapped to my legs. I walked over to the hollow log where I usually kept them. As I bent down to unlock it, Pinkie’s voice burst out from behind me.

“Hi!”

I tripped and landed on my face. As I picked myself off of the ground, I wiped the mud off my face and responded, “Yes, Pinkie?”

“Sorry about this, but could you get rid of that spell you cast on me earlier?” Her baby blue eyes shone honestly as she asked the question. Not the faintest hint of a smile was present on her face. She seemed completely serious.

“Um,” I replied, not looking at her, “spell?”

“You know, the one where you stared at me so scarily and were all ‘Be quiet and follow me!’” she spoke in a scary deep voice as she mimicked me. I scuffed at the ground. Was that really how I sounded? “And then I couldn’t talk or do anything but follow you! Oh, and can I party again? I’d really like to do that too.”

I coughed. “Um, okay. What do I do to free you?”

She struck a thoughtful pose, with her hoof under her chin as her Sherclop Pones hat reappeared on her head. “Well,” she began, “I could talk again after you said I could, so I think if you tell me I can stop following you, I should be free.”

I nodded slowly and said, “You can stop following me. And you can party.”

Pinkie beamed and bounced away again. “Thanks!”

I stared after her. Did I really put a spell on her? I looked at a nearby bush and cleared my throat. I stared at it, trying to channel my magical energies. “Rise!” I commanded, feeling foolish. A gopher stood up from the bush and looked at me quizzically. I blinked. I addressed the gopher, “Oh, I didn’t mean you, Greg.”

Greg the Gopher nodded and disappeared back into the bush. I stared after him as I put my knives away. Maybe I was a wizard.

Chapter 7: Till Death Do Us Part

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I stood up. While my knives weren’t very sharp and I had no real training with them, they gave me a sense of security that otherwise fled at the sight of such a dark and foreboding forest. As my eyes darted around, I caught sight of my reflection in a puddle on the ground beneath me.

My mane, tangled and streaked with pink and green as if I was some kind of punk rock hooligan with no hoof-eye coordination, spiked out unevenly along my neck. A crusty layer of mud mixed with the dried blood mixed that hadn’t completely been wiped away from my body completed the image of a rough and tumble hooligan. I turned away. Once I had been called cute. My parents—

I tripped and hit the puddle face-first. I gagged and sputtered as the acrid water crept into my open mouth. I slammed the ground with my hoof and spat the water back onto the forest floor as I dragged myself up. The dark mud that filled this forest clung to my face. I tried to wipe it off with my hoof, but only succeeded in smearing it further across my face.

My brain pounded against my skull. As I shook my head to clear my thoughts, I tasted something salty entering my mouth. I screamed into the empty forest, no longer caring what it would attract, and smashed my hoof into a nearby tree.

Great. Now I didn’t feel any better and my hoof hurt.

I slammed my other hoof into the tree.

I turned around and limped on, ignoring the soft footfalls and glowing green eyes in the woods around me. Pinkie Pie was gone. Zecora would be fine. Angel Bunny… Oh. His birthday was today, and I still didn’t have anything to give to him. Getting myself killed would be a horrible birthday present, wouldn’t it? I turned around to face the three timberwolves that thought they were sneakily creeping up behind me.

I stood at the edge of the Everfree forest. If I took another step backwards, I would be out of it. But timberwolves didn’t care where you were; they would leave the forest, hunt you down, and drag you kicking and screaming back into the forest before killing you.

I tensed myself for a fight and looked at them. My legs were trembling and felt like they were about to give in. My body quaked and roiled around as if my insides had turned to mush. The pounding in my head showed no signs of lessening.

“Ponyfeathers...” I muttered. Well, magical wizard powers activate. I concentrated on summoning a fireball. As expected, absolutely nothing happened. I shook my head. “Stop joking around, Fluttershy,” I muttered to myself.

The wolves crept closer, their foul breath tainting the air and offending my nostrils. I took a step back and felt something leafy brush my neck. I put my hoof against my neck and swatted distractedly. That Monster’s face appeared before my eyes, tongue threatening to swallow me. The wolves were now mere steps away from me. The faces of the wolves and the faces of the monster seemed to merge. I breathed in deeply and glared.

“Go away!” I commanded. The wolves marched on, their shoulders shaking. Their short, ragged, laughing snarls fueled my rage. Vaguely, I wondered why the forest looked so red. I took a deep breath and roared, “LEAVE!”

What is the name of that feeling you get when you bite down on your prey and only see dumb lifeless magic staring back at you? When you relentlessly pound your hoof against the face of your ENEMY and watch it crumble, not comprehending its own destruction, and neither castigated nor apologetic about its crimes. Rage is too primordial, too natural and pure. Frustration fails to capture the intensity of the feeling. And what is that feeling you get when you look around and see even monsters fleeing from you into the darkness? When you close your eyes and flee into the darkness with them. Loneliness? Or reprieve?

I blinked and stood up. My throat ached like I had been screaming for an hour. The taste of bark and blood in my mouth made me grimace and spit. The leaves rustled with the wind, but not a timberwolf remained in sight. I turned to leave the forest but stopped halfway. I put a hoof to my throat, turned back to the forest, and vomited. I then turned around again and walked out of the forest, humming a tune. Despite my aching throat, my heaving stomach, and my overall filthy appearance, I felt strangely lighter.

After taking a detour to prepare the salad I had prepared for Angel Bunny, I walked to Angel’s home, a charming little burrow on a hill that overlooked a stream. Grass grew with in great abundance, and trees clustered around the stream. A bluejay sang in one of the trees, and was quickly joined by a group of birds, each singing a bright tune in perfect harmony. I almost started singing along with them but managed to stop myself. I couldn’t let them see me like this; I needed to clean myself up before Angel got back.

I dipped my head into the stream and quickly pulled out, morbidly noting the way the water darkened as I touched it. The filth that washed off me turned the stream a reddish black hue that mixed with the pure water, tainting it with gore and disease. The animals that drank from the river, the fish that lived in it, none of them deserved this. Nothing did. I withdrew from the stream.

I bit my lip. If I didn’t clean myself up, Angel Bunny would see my state and be worried. But I couldn’t make innocent critters suffer from my own burden. I reached into the river with my hooves and splashed myself with water. It wasn’t very effective. I sighed and looked at the sky. It was a beautiful and sunny day. No chance of rain.

I looked back down at the river. The water had flowed onwards, washing away the dark stain without a trace. I sighed in relief and stuck a muddy hoof into the water. Maybe it wouldn’t be too bad if it was just a little at a time. The water swirled around my hoof, carrying the mud away. I smiled and stepped in, allowing the river to flow through me, washing away what clung to me and weighed me down. My smile widened as I breathed in deeply. Calm filled me as I allowed the stream to flow around me, slowly washing me away.

I woke up from my torpor, noting that the sun was low on the horizon. I rubbed myself, getting the rest of the dirt off. I sighed. I hoped Angel would be happy with the salad I made for him, even without the cherry. He was an awfully picky eater.

I stepped out of the stream and shook myself off. Where did I even leave that cherry? I frowned. I had picked it up and then… thrown it away somewhere. I shook my head. Well, I certainly wasn’t getting another one. My gut twisted and my shoulders shook as I giggled to myself.

I trotted to the burrow, knocked on the door, and waited. After a minute, I knocked again. No response. I frowned and bit my lip. There was only one place he would go today, and he wouldn’t be hungry when he got back. I sighed and put the salad down.

I turned around and walked around the hill. As I walked, a sudden chill wind sent a shiver down my spine. I reached the other side and stopped.

Before me stood a barren and dead tree that stood on barren and dead land. The blood had been cleaned off the tree, but not the memories. The shivers that crept up my spine intensified as my body shook, unwilling to go further. Beneath the tree lay six stone tablets that stuck out of the ground. One of them lay separate from the others. I averted my eyes from it and focused on the others, which lay in an x-formation as if to mark the location of some buried treasure.

Though the area around the tree was mostly barren of life, there was one exception. Around the five clustered stones, patches of birdsfoot trefoil sprouted like weeds. The flowering weed bristled from the miniature monoliths, tiny yellow flower buds flaring against dull grey. The largest patch of the herbaceous flower grew around the center grave, above which Angel stood with his back turned to me. One of Angel’s paws clutched an empty stem as if trying to strangle it, while his other paw clutched his own neck like a noose. Red petals scattered amidst the yellow mass around him. Droplets like rain trickled from his eyes as if to water the rose in his hands, but instead curved to join the red and yellow sea beneath him.

I bit my lip. I shouldn’t have come here. I took a step backwards. Mud squelched beneath my hoof. My eyes widened as they shot to Angel. He looked at me, eyes bloodshot and wild. He held up both paws, each clasping a glinting piece of metal in a fighting stance.

I gulped and froze in place. I really shouldn’t have come here. I took a step back. Angel took a step forward, eyes squinting at me. His eyes widened in recognition and he lowered his paws. I relaxed a little. Then he charged.

I barely saw him bounce towards me; he was a streak of white lightning that struck me before I could react. I flapped my wings to stabilize myself as he barreled into me, flipped over, and landed on my back. I grit my teeth as I felt his paws brush against my neck wounds. His paws left my back. I looked up and saw him blur down from the heavens.

I tilted my head and looked at him out of the corner of my eye. “Hi, Angel Bunny,” I greeted him, face blank as I stared at his cold visage. Angel glared at me and tapped his foot. “How are you–I mean–Um.”

That was not the right thing to say. His face twisted into a deep scowl as I opened my mouth to say something, anything, to make him feel better. I couldn’t think of anything. I just couldn’t. I closed my mouth.

Angel didn’t seem to appreciate my silence. He pointed at his neck and pointed at me.

“Oh, it’s not important,” I replied, “Just a scra–Ow!”

I winced. Angel had hopped onto my back again and was pushing his paw into my not quite fully healed injury. My breath rattled as I breathed in deeply. “Angel, please just let it go.”

The poking intensified. I closed my eyes and grit my teeth tighter. It wasn’t all that bad actually. After a few seconds the poking turned into a slightly painful pulse, a kind of masochistic massage. I closed my eyes and waited for him to give up.

I felt Angel’s feet leave my back. I opened my eyes just in time to see Angel elbow drop into my neck and bounce off. Fire lit up my senses as I whimpered in pain. “Angel, stop it!” I cried out, shaking him off.

He landed in front of me, arms crossed. I cowered behind my mane. I really shouldn’t have come here. He tapped his foot again. “I fought timberwolves today,” I told him, averting my eyes. It wasn’t a lie, exactly.

I looked back at Angel, who shook his head and raised a paw, beckoning me closer. I sighed and brought my face in front of him and closed my eyes. I felt a stinging blow against my cheeks and opened my eyes. I was filled with a sudden surge of righteous anger.

I pulled my face back and shook my head. I glared at Angel, huffed, and shoved my nose in the air. “I’m not telling you anything after the way you’ve been acting,” I asserted, stomping my hoof in emphasis, “You can’t just push me… around...”

A chill blew through me. Angel had frozen still, jaw open in disbelief. I opened my mouth again as Angel’s pouting face slowly swung to me. His bloodshot eyes sunk as he rubbed them with his paw. His jaw tightened, and all of a sudden, Angel looked a thousand years old. My sudden surge of confidence dissipated. “I... mean it?” I bluffed, taking a step back. I scuffed the ground with my hoof as my ears flattened. I lowered my head behind my mane and closed my eyes.

In my mind I saw the tired bunny who had lost everything, but still possessed enough love to raise me as his own. I saw the bunny that had fed me when I was too young and naive to find my own food. I saw the bunny that taught me how to fight timberwolves and raised me to be strong and capable. And I saw my ungrateful self, shouting back at that bunny. I recoiled and ducked my head.

“I’m sorry for snapping at you. I’ve just had a really bad day,” I apologized, glancing at him. “Look, we’re both having a bad day. Can we just…”

Angel bunny was trembling with rage. I closed my eyes and pushed my face forward. I definitely deserved this one. I felt a paw poke my cheek and opened my eyes to the sight of Angel’s eyes staring into mine.

I gazed into pools of shadows and terror, of loss and grief. The void sucked me in, and I fell into a world of darkness and fire. Tendrils of rage given physical manifestation grasped at my skin and wrapped around me, simultaneously crushing me and flaying me alive. I opened my mouth to scream, but the darkness filled my mouth. I choked, unable to scream, unable to fight, unable to run. As I gave in, my struggles ceased and I closed my eyes.

I smelled dirt. I opened my eyes. I blinked and tried to stop the world from spinning. Indistinctly, I heard my voice in the background.

“–lied to her, and just kept lying! I don’t deserve to have a friend or–”

I put my hooves on the ground and tried to drag myself up. My mouth was still running for some reason. I tried to close it, but to no avail.

“–timberwolves attacked me, but I just stared at them and they all vanished–”

I felt Angel hug my face, and immediately stopped talking. I closed my eyes and hugged him back, shoulders shaking. I tasted a mixture of salt and snot creep into my mouth and grimaced, wiping it away with my free hoof. My hoof found my mouth as I felt vomit climb up my throat. I choked it down.

After I regained my bearings, I shook my head. “Oh, Angel. You know I don’t like it when you do that,” I muttered, closing my eyes and shuddering. I knew he only did it because he loved me. I could be awfully reticent sometimes, and I knew he hated it. But still, sometimes I needed the privacy.

I felt something soft land on my head. I looked up and to see Angel Bunny tussling my hair fondly. “I know you’re worried about me, but–”

I felt his weight lift off my head and heard a faint tapping sound from behind me. I turned around to see Angel standing on the hill, waving me over. As soon as I saw him, he leapt over the peak towards his home. “–sometimes it’s nice to have a choice,” I finished, sighing and walking around the hill to Angel’s burrow.

I found Angel sitting in the bowl of salad I had made. A deep, thoughtful look found itself somewhat out of place on his adorable little face. He nibbled at a carrot that he held in one paw as he twirled his knife in the other.

He glanced lazily at me as I approached. I walked up to him, intent on giving him a piece of my mind about his reckless knife twirling. He could get hurt! As soon as I opened my mouth, he pointed down at the dirt in front of me. I paused, blinking. He had somehow drawn a crude sketch of a pony beating another pony, followed by a picture of the victim and a bunny sticking knives into the attacker pony. I gasped and took a step back.

Angel held up his paw in a thumbs up position. I shook my head, too shocked to say anything. Angel held up his paws with a questioning look on his face. I scrunched up my face and answered, “No, Angel! How could you even suggest such a thing?”

Angel rolled his eyes and pointed behind me. My eyes followed his direction to the looming shadows of the Everfree Forest. I gulped. “But that’s different!” I defended myself, “Timberwolves are just magical constructs! I kill them to make sure they don’t hurt any more animals like–”

Angel’s fists clenched. I gulped and finished, “–like they hurt you, Angel Bunny. ”

Scowling, Angel bounced over and scuffed out my representation from his depiction of his planned murder. He was still in it. I cleared my throat.

“You’re not going anywhere, Angel Bunny.”

Angel’s head whipped around to face me. His scowl somehow deepened further as he viciously jabbed his paw at the image of my past.

I shook my head and gazed at the picture. “I’m not going to hurt anypony for revenge.”

Angel shrugged, pointed at me and shook his head. He then pointed at himself and nodded. “You won’t either, Angel Bunny.” Angel put his hands on his hips and smirked.

I scowled. “He’s mine!” I stepped towards Angel, tail twitching spastically. “Oh, who am I kidding? I was going to go do… that… anyway. Not for revenge. Not revenge.”

Angel stepped back, scowl replaced by a look of utter bewilderment. I was a little surprised by myself as well. I pressed on regardless, unable to stop myself from pouring my heart out. “He’s a monster. Sometimes, the only thing that will stop one monster is a bigger, scarier monster. If I have to, I’ll be that monster,” I explained. Biting my lip, I looked to the forest. “You’re innocent, Angel Bunny. Stay that way. Please.”

Angel shook his head and pointed back to the picture of me getting hurt. I sighed. “This is why I didn’t want to tell you anything, Angel Bunny. I know you want to help, but I can’t let you. You deserve better than this.”

Angel remained silent for a while. His eyes shifted to the forest. I shook my head. “I know you’ve killed timberwolves,” I whispered, “Don’t ever compare them to ponies like that, Angel.” Angel shrugged and flipped his knife in his paw. I gasped as he caught it by the blade.

I rushed over and reached for his paw to examine his injury. My concern turned out to be superfluous as he lifted up his clearly unharmed paw, lightly holding the flat side of the knife. I shook my head. “I can’t just walk into Ponyville with a knife. I have a plan.”

Angel’s back straightened and his ears perked up. I shook my head again. “Just trust me, Angel,” I told him, “Besides, it doesn’t need to be done today. Wouldn’t you rather spend your birthday focusing on happier things? We could have a tea party! Or play tag, or…”

I trailed off as the expressiveness of Angel’s stare rapidly melted away. I giggled nervously. “Well, we can try?” Angel’s stare was completely flat as he pointed to Ponyville. “Okay. Well, I’ll come back later and we can try to ignore this—I mean, uh. Celebrate. Your birthday, I mean. Um,” I pawed at the ground with both forehooves, “I guess I’ll be going now.”

Angel waved at me expressionlessly with the paw that wasn’t pointing at my destination. I turned around to face Ponyville, before turning my head back to Angel.

“Are you sure you don’t want to have a tea party?” Angel rolled his eyes, still waving. He wasn’t pointing his paw anymore, though. I raised my wings.

“Well, if you need anything, just say the word.”

Silence. I sighed and took off. As I flew towards Ponyville, I looked back at Angel Bunny.

“Happy Birthday, Angel Bunny,” I muttered.

A red wound glowed in the twilight sky, centered at a mountain in the distance over which the tip of the sun gazed accusingly down at me. As the sun finally closed its ever watchful eye, I stood up and stretched my legs and wings. The warm summer breeze sent a chill through my spine as I exhaled and stepped into the tent with a twig in my mouth.

The rapist was bent down with his back facing me, stuffing a bag of something that jingled like bits into an open suitcase. I put the twig down on the floor, took a deep breath, and slunk forward. My heart hammered in my chest as each step became progressively more difficult to take.

The rapist turned around.

I blinked. He blinked.

Well, horsefeathers.

We stood there for a few seconds, just staring at each other. I blinked again, and the spell was broken. I mustered up all of my willpower and glared at him.

“Be quiet and follow me!” I demanded.

“What if I say no?”

I blinked. He was glaring back at me. What? That wasn’t supposed to happen. I shook my head a little, and then glared harder, wings flaring. His muscles rippled as he flared his wings and bent forward, snorting.

“You really wanna do this?” He leered down at me, with an almost amused looking grin on his face.

I shrunk back, no longer glaring. Okay, plan B. My wings lowered along with my gaze as I scanned the floor under the pretense of backing down. “No,” I muttered, “I’ll leave.”

There. A knife lay on the table in the center of the room between him and me, beside a pot of cabbage stew. Steam poured from the piping hot stew. Perfect. I raised my gaze up to the threat in front of me. His eyes darted suspiciously from me down to the knife, as he shook his head knowingly.

I took a breath and leaped forward, wings pumping furiously. My hooves reached forward as if to grab at the knife. He grinned in triumph as his hoof reached the knife first, slamming down on it and preventing me from picking it up. I smirked back as I reached my real target, the pot of boiling stew, and kicked it at him. He screamed and fell back, howling curse words I had never heard before. I looked anxiously at the tent’s entrance flaps. Someone had probably heard that. I had to end this quickly. I turned back to my opponent and saw the bottom of his hoof.

Pain. I was lying on my back, staring at a blurry pegasus stallion’s face leaning over me. I couldn’t breathe. A heavy pressure on my chest forced me to look down to see his hoof on my chest. I twisted my head and felt something wet on my face and neck. My eyes watered. “No...” I moaned. Not again. I felt his hoof leave my chest. Relief flooded into my lungs as I inhaled sharply. His hoof slammed into my chest. Both the air and any sense of relief I once had left me.

“Don’t worry. I’m not gonna call the cops. I’m just gonna make sure no stallion is ever gonna want you.” He raised his hoof to my face and slapped me.

“Just doing my part.”

Slap.

“To keep the world safe.”

Slap.

“From crazy horses like you.”

Slap.

My cheeks burned. Tears fell from my eyes, even as I tried to restrain them. He didn’t deserve my tears. ‘I was going to make your death quick,’ I thought at him as a snarl forced its way on my face, a tingling of resentment warming up my face. The strangest thing was, I felt… betrayed.

‘By who?’ I asked myself.

Distantly, I wondered what I had even expected from coming here. Was I expecting him to just accept that he was a monster that needed to be stopped? To just die on command? I was such a silly pony. Timberwolves didn’t die on command. I giggled as I felt its hoof cut across my face once more.

It paused in its assault. My laughter echoed against the red that was slowly overtaking my vision. “You’ve completely lost it, haven’t you?” the monster on top of me asked. It wrinkled its nose as his hoof released itself from my chest. It was looking at me with disgust. The monster was disgusted by me. A pain erupted in my chest which had nothing to do with the hoof that had once again slammed into it. I stopped laughing to howl like a wolf, before breaking into laughter once more.

He positioned himself over me and slammed both of his front hooves against my face, one after the other. I stared into his eyes, grinning like an idiot. He had such a cute red face, with the most adorable red eyes. Even the tent was red. Although, now that I looked at him, he looked kind of scared. I tilted my head at him.

He should be.

Roaring, I kicked his penis with my hind leg. Pained disbelief replaced the fear and disgust on his face. My front hooves wrapped around him, constricting him in a forceful embrace as he collapsed down on me. My nose touched his neck–I nuzzled it lovingly–before I moved my mouth to his neck and bit down. Frustratingly, my teeth weren’t sharp enough to do anything but give him a small cut. He stood up, but I clung onto him, locking my legs around him in a passionate embrace. He shoved my face down, away from his neck, so I pressed my cheek against his heart. I felt him try to push me away from him, but I clung tight as if he were my only friend in the world. The only one who understood me. My eyes filled with tears.

I twisted my neck to face him, looking him in the eye as I forced my tongue into his mouth. He stopped fighting for a second, eyes wide, letting my tongue slip out of his mouth, down his face, to find his neck again. He slammed me into the floor and dislodged my front right hoof. With his freed leg, he punched me in the face. I moaned in pleasure as he pounded me all over, punishing me like I deserved to be punished. I smiled and kissed his neck deeply to thank him for being so understanding. As I kissed him, my tongue reached out and slashed a line of saliva across his neck’s torn skin. Poor dear. I didn’t want him to keep hurting. I’d kiss it all better.

He tried to draw away hoof raised to beat me again, but I lunged forward and hugged him with all four hooves again. I threw my face into his neck and tore at it furiously, pumping my teeth into and out of his flesh, moaning as blood poured into my mouth and splattered all over my face. As the blood filled my mouth and overflowed, I swallowed and licked at his neck, cleaning up the mess he had made. He collapsed down on me, spent. I lay under him, recovering from the consummation of my task.

Finally, I pushed him off and stood up. As I stood up, my eyes traveled from the corpse to his suitcase to his knife. After picking up the knife and suitcase, I dumped the contents of the suitcase and stood over the corpse. I looked over to the undisturbed tent flap before setting upon the tedious task of cutting him up. The knife, a dull, rectangular, Neighponese vegetable knife, slowly cut through the meat. I peeled off most of it and set it inside the empty suitcase, before shoving in some of the bone as well. I then picked up some clothes and wiped myself off, before dumping them into the suitcase as well and zipping the it shut. After examining the floor and picking up all the hair and fur I had dropped, I dragged the suitcase to the flap of the tent.

Cautiously, I poked my head out of the flap, looking around for other ponies. Fortunately, nopony seemed to be in the market. It was nighttime, after all. I walked out dragging the suitcase in my mouth to dump it into the former cherry seller’s cart. He wouldn’t be needing it anymore.

My shoulders chafed under the weight of the cart as I trudged forward, teeth gritted determinedly. I marched into the Everfree Forest, twitching at every rustle and desperately wishing I was home already. Finally, I arrived at my destination, a decrepit castle that was long ago abandoned by the world, forsaken and feared even by the creatures of the forest. No animal would come close to the castle, not manticores, not cockatrices, and certainly not timberwolves.

I detached myself from my harness, before opening the suitcase and tossing its contents out into the forest. “DINNER!” I shouted, flying up to the trees and shaking the branches, before flying to the safety of the castle. Finally, I was home.

As soon as entered the castle, my wings gave out and I collapsed to the cold, stone floor, unable to take another step. As I lay there, I breathed heavily and looked up into the heavens. The stars faded out as I fell into the void between them. “What a beautiful night,” I murmured, closing my eyes. As I drifted off, hysterical laughter echoed through my mind and tormented my dreams.

Chapter 8: Teatime with Death

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I hummed a soft tune as I scattered moonflower seeds across the grass. Birds of all kinds twittered, trilled, cooed and cawed in tune as they landed on the ground in front of me, pecking at the scattered seeds. I stepped backwards, keeping an eye out for any birds that may have landed behind me. I smiled at the cute little birdies, blissfully going about their lives without a care. I sighed. If only I was a cute little birdy.

One of the birds, a bluejay named Victoria, landed on my shoulder, softly clicking and whistling. I nuzzled her. “Oh, don’t you worry about me, Victoria. You go on and eat.” I reached into a pouch that hung from my hoof for more seeds.

Victoria cocked her head worriedly at me, before flying down to the bird food. I smiled and cautiously took another step back, before picking up a few worms from the bucket beside me and tossing them at some of the birds that weren’t eating the seeds. As I reached down again to pick up a few more worms, I felt light bird feet land on my shoulder. I glanced over. “Victoria!”

Victoria had returned, mouth stuffed with seeds. She reached her head over at mine and warbled. I covered my mouth with my hoof and giggled. “Oh, Victoria. I can’t eat those. Those are for you!”

Victoria paused for a second and insistently shoved her head at my mouth. I drew my head back and shook it. “Oh, no. I already ate.” I didn’t mention that the last time I had eaten was last night.

I swished the monster's blood around in my mouth, savouring the salty, acrid taste. It tasted like victory. I hadn't known what victory tasted like before, but now... Now I knew. He was dead, and I was alive. He was dead and wouldn't be hurting me, or anypony else anymore.

The lifeless eyes of the corpse on top of me watched as I swallowed. Those eyes, formerly filled with rage and fear, now quietly lay empty and emotionless. On a whim, I licked one. It tasted bland and empty, like the shell of a stallion on top of me. I shuddered. Would that be me if he had won?

I gagged, shoving my hoof at my mouth to hold in the bile. I swallowed the tiny bit of spew that had found its way into my mouth and waited for the nausea to pass. As the urge to vomit faded, I put my hoof down and smiled at Victoria as genuinely as I could. “Ooh, looks like I ate a bit too much.”

I determinedly ignored the stares of the birds who had turned away from eating to peer at me worriedly, as I reached back into the bucket to withdraw some more worms.

I slowly turned back to face the ground near the birds, carefully dodging their gazes as I pushed my head forward and tossed a few worms to some waiting warblers. My shoulders shook as I raised my gaze to the birds themselves. Their innocent black eyes stared at me with confusion and worry as they snatched the worms out of the air, but didn’t swallow. I reflexively began to turn around for another batch of worms, but stopped myself. I was making the cute little birdies upset. I sighed and faced the distressed onlookers. “I’m sorry for worrying you all like that,” I apologized, “I just ate something bad and my stomach had the rumblies. I’ll be fine.”

One by one, the birds began to eat until they had all forgotten about me. Even Victoria was busily stuffing herself with moonflower seeds. I smiled in relief and tossed the rest of the worms, mouthful by mouthful, to the rest of the insectivorous birds.

I lay down on the ground, watching them eat. The adorable pitter-pattering of tiny bird feet bouncing around on the grass was so wonderful and soothing. I could feel myself drifting away in the calm, joyful atmosphere.

I giggled as a hummingbird fly by. He flew high into the air, and then dove to the ground, pulling up just in time before landing next to another hummingbird. The other bird whistled, bobbing her head, before the two of them took off, continuing the mating dance elsewhere.

I grinned at the two of them. Lancelot and Guinevere would make a cute couple, I just knew it. Oh, I could just lie here forever, watching them frolic, free of fear and worry…

My thoughts were interrupted as something landed on my shoulder. I turned my head.

“Hey there, Victoria,” I whispered, nuzzling her. She chirped, tilting her head at me.

“Oh, yes. I’m better now,” I told her. Surprisingly enough, I did feel a little better. Victoria chirped again. “I know,” I said, “I’ll try to take better care of myself.” Victoria nodded authoritatively, flying up to my cheek, cooing. I patted her head with my wings. “Aww, that’s so sweet,” I told her, “I love you too.”

Victoria flew hovered for a moment, before flying off. Taking one last look at the birds, I picked up the pail and carried it back to the river to wash it out. As I lowered the pail into the water, two familiar baby blue eyes opened up and stared at me from within the water. Calmly, I moved the pail out of the way and said, “Hello, Pinkie Pie.”

I put on a polite smile and dodged out of the way as Pinkie Pie shot out of the water, hair still poofy despite the water dripping from it. “Hiya, Butters! Check out what I can do!” She shot out of the water, gaining at least twenty feet of air, before wrapping herself up into a perfect sphere, falling, and bouncing up and down until she finally unwrapped herself and landed on her hooves. “Tada!”

I raised my eyebrows. Was it just me, or was she darker than usual? I stepped forward to examine her closer, and gasped. She wasn’t darker, she was… bluer. Blue streaks ran through her fur like blood vessels. It gave her a dark, almost intimidating appearance, until she stuck her head forward, pink tongue sticking out, her face emblazoned with a comically concentrated expression that flaunted the harmless Pinkie-ness within.

She threw her head back. “Ooh, that’s a good look you have! That forest must really be growing on you!” Pinkie shouted, giggling and pointing at my mane. I ran my hoof across my mane self-consciously. A few twigs fell down and dangled in front of my face. I yanked at them, but stopped when I felt a sharp pain jabbing my skull. I looked closer at the twigs. They were a bluish green, and seemed to trail from me like… hair. My mane was made of bark and leaves and wood. The poison joke had made me look like a timberwolf.

I ground my teeth, wiped the tears from my eyes, and turned to Pinkie Pie. “We should…” She was bouncing herself in the air again, only this time her hooves stayed connected to the ground so she wiggled up and down like a rubber band.

I walked up to her. “Pinkie Pie?” I called out.

She stopped bouncing and turned to face me with her bright blue eyes focused directly on me. “Yes, Butters?” She leaped at me and hung on my shoulder, shoving her face into mine.

I flinched and blushed at the sudden contact. “We should go and get this fixed,” I muttered, edging away from her touch.

Pinkie frowned, “Aww, but this is so fun! Lookie!” Her rear hooves left the ground and flew over me. I felt her press down on my shoulders as the rest of her body followed. “Wheeeeeeeeeee!”

I rubbed my shoulder as I turned around to see where she had gone. I froze; my hoof had brushed against something sticky. I brought my hoof in front of my face. A tiny glob of fleshy, purplish goo was smeared across my hoof.

Oh, dear.

I looked back up at Pinkie, only to find her missing. A shadow was growing at my hooves. I looked up, and saw Pinkie flying at me, eyes closed and bathed in the glow of the midmorning sun as she collided with me.

“Oof!” I stared up at the sky, wondering if I should rue the day I crossed paths with Pinkie Pie. I shook my head and dragged myself up. “Stop being such a grouch,” I told myself, “She might just be the only pony you’ll ever call friend.” I froze. Friend. I hadn’t really had one back in the flight academy. I had animal friends. But that wasn’t the same thing as pony friends, was it? Truth be told, I didn’t know. I didn’t know the first thing about having friends, other than that other ponies had them and hung out with them. Was that really what we were doing? Hanging out? Was Pinkie Pie my friend? I felt a dull ache grow in my chest as I looked at Pinkie Pie, feeling the urge to hug her and never let go.

I clutched at him, all four legs wrapping around tight as he struggled against my embrace. Tears welled from my eyes as I forced my tongue into his mouth. His face twisted as an unholy fire lit in his eyes, lighting up the room with a sultry red as we fastened ourselves against each other in the only kind of intimacy I had ever experienced with another pony. Violent as our engagement was, I didn’t want it to end. I clung tightly to him, wishing I would never have to let go. But I did have to let go. I always did.

Cold sweat poured from every pore in my body, drenching and freezing me despite the warm summer breeze. I shivered at the reminder that I was a fake. I was a wolf in the guise of a pony. That was the joke, wasn’t it? I was a wolf that murdered other wolves for the sake of the innocent animals that they ate. I was a stranger standing alone in a world that I hadn’t really belonged to for a long time, a world that wouldn’t let me go, tying me down with obligations and a burning need to be there for others. I scowled and wished that I could do something selfish for once. All it would take was one selfish act, and I’d be free…

Suddenly, Pinkie appeared in front of me, concern written all over her face. I shook my head. What was wrong with me? Of course I couldn’t be that pony. I couldn’t leave the animals like that. I was the lie that they loved and the truth that kept their lives peaceful and carefree. I couldn’t let Angel lose his family again. And Zecora would wonder where I had gone. And Pinkie…

As I stared into Pinkie’s face, as if looking at her for the first time, I realized that she was actually concerned about me. Gritting my teeth, I forced my front legs around Pinkie, who looked at me with surprise. My heart beat madly in my chest and my skin crawled at the contact. Every instinct in my body told me to let go, but I grit my teeth and leaned into her.

Her belly expanded as she sharply inhaled. I waited for the inevitable explosion of chatter, but found myself pleasantly surprised when she said nothing and simply hugged me back. I leaned against her, shuddering.

Finally, I stood up and stepped back, taking note of a small blush that had appeared on Pinkie Pie’s confused-looking face as she climbed to her hooves. Well, now I knew how to make her be still.

My shoulders were still shaking as I turned around. “We should go.”

I heard Pinkie Pie shuffling awkwardly behind me. Finally, she spoke up. “Butterfly, are you okay?”

No. No I wasn’t. But still I turned my head a little and nodded. “Oh, don’t you worry about me, Pinkie. I’m fine. I just… ate something bad.”

Pinkie shuffled closer. “Are-Are you sure you’re alright? I didn’t want to mention it earlier, but your face is…”

I nodded, turning my face away from her, hiding my bruised face behind my mane for good measure. “Oh, I was attacked by timberwolves. But—”

This time it was Pinkie Pie who surprised me with a hug. I froze as her arms wrapped around me and her face pressed against the back of my head. I felt her vibrate against my skin, and looked down to find my own hooves trembling. I looked up at Pinkie Pie. Her eyes shone with genuine worry. I turned away and looked at the floor.

“Have you ever done anything you didn’t want to do but knew had to be done?” I covered my mouth, but the question had already been asked. My head turned to face Pinkie. I could have sworn I saw a shadow pass over Pinkie’s eyes as I was turning, but when I finally faced her she was staring at me in confusion. I bit my lip. Had she figured out what I had done? Maybe I was just imagining things.

“Like cleaning up after I spill flour on the floor?” she asked innocently.

I sighed in relief. “Something like that, yes. I just… Every time I feel like I’m changing into something I don’t like and I can’t fight it and… Never mind. It’s silly.”

Pinkie bit her lip and released me. She turned around and paced around, shooting a stern glance at me. “No it’s not. And you shouldn’t think it is, either.”

I flinched. “I’m sorry.”

Pinkie’s eyes softened. “Don’t be sorry, Butterfly. I-I know how you feel.” She blushed and looked down. “I’m not always such a happy go lucky pony. Some days I feel like a rotten Saddie Pie. I just wake up in the morning and don’t feel like getting up. But I know that if I’m sad, everyone else will be sad too. So I smile, and crack jokes and do my best to put a smile on everypony’s face. And it works! When I’m around, everypony smiles and laughs. But… sometimes I wonder if they’re laughing with me or at me. If I’m becoming some comedic effect in the background that nopony respects or listens to anymore. I wonder if there’s going to be a day when I say something serious and everypony just treats it—treats me—like a joke.”

I vaguely realized that drool was leaking from my gaping mouth. I closed my mouth and swallowed. “Well, if it helps, I don’t think you’re a joke. I would never laugh at you.”

Pinkie grinned. “Well, you don’t laugh very much, do you?”

I smiled a little. “No, I don’t. But, if you feel like that, why don’t you stop? I mean, you don’t have to laugh all the time.”

Pinkie raised an eyebrow and pointed at herself. “Because it’s not about me. It’s about the ponies that are happy because I’m there for them. It’s about making them happy, even if I have to walk the line between a joker and a joke.”

I shifted my entire body to face Pinkie Pie and looked her in the eye. “You don’t have to do that with me. Just be yourself. That would make me happier than any joke.”

Pinkie giggled. “I know! The thing is, I am a silly pony! I’m not forcing myself to be happy. I love to have fun!”

She leaped into the air and bounced to me. “Funna fun fun!” She landed with a small splash in her own goo.

I shook my head at the reminder and stepped forward, raising my hoof to Pinkie Pie.

“Pinkie, we need to get going. You’re melting.” I held up my hoof to her eyes, Pinkie residue still stuck to it.

She looked down at it and frowned. “Melting?” She looked closer, and then back at her own body. Sure enough, a faint, but noticeable sheen of purplish blue ooze dripped down from her coat. “That’s no fun at all.”

I nodded. “We should get to Zecora’s. She’s preparing a potion to fix that.” I pointed at the Everfree Forest in front of us. “Oh, and Pinkie? Thanks.”

Pinkie Pie nodded, and we walked into the forest. As we walked, Pinkie bounced around, singing a funny song about following a yellow brick road. I had to smile at her antics, and even quietly hummed along once I got the tune down.

We reached the edge of the Everfree, where the hollow log that contained most of my worldly possessions lay. I reached in and armed myself, before looking around for some food. It had been a while since I had last eaten real food, and I had all of a sudden found my appetite again. Finding a lone raspberry bush, I plucked out its single ripe berry and plopped it in my mouth. It would have to do for now. I turned around to face Pinkie Pie, who was holding a cupcake up to me in her hoof. The sound of my stomach rumbling echoed through the forest.

Pinkie Pie beamed, “Sounds like somepony’s stomach has the rumblies! But don’t worry, Doctor Pinkie Pie has your cure right here!”

I smiled gratefully at her and took the cupcake, eating slowly so I wouldn’t throw it up later. When was the last time I had eaten a real meal? Yesterday morning? Had it really a full day? I felt my stomach heaving. I didn’t feel that hungry anymore, though. Still, I really needed to take better care of myself.

I turned back to Pinkie Pie, who was beaming at me. I opened my mouth to thank her, but I couldn’t find the words. I settled for hugging her again and mumbling, “Thank you.”

Pinkie grinned. Her smile caught a stray beam of light that cut through the canopy above us and shone through the darkness. “No problemo! Just doing my job.”

We walked on through the forest, until the sound of a twig snapping made me spin my head towards the sound. Glowing green eyes appeared in the underbrush, staring at me. I groaned. “Not this again,” I muttered. I pulled out my daggers and tensed for a fight.

“What’s wrong?” Pinkie stared at me in confusion.

“Timberwolves,” I replied without taking my gaze away from the glowing eyes in the underbrush. I waited for the timberwolves to approach, but they didn’t move. Tense moments passed. Tension turned to confusion. “What are they waiting for?” I muttered, taking a step forward. The timberwolves didn’t react. This was new. I didn’t think timberwolves were alive enough to try anything new. I turned to Pinkie. “Let’s get out of here. I don’t like this.”

Pinkie froze, and then guiltily hid a bag of popcorn behind her back. She nodded, garbling something unintelligible that I hoped was assent as she swallowed the popcorn in her mouth. I turned back to the timberwolves. They had disappeared. I looked around, but no trace of them remained. A cold sweat broke out along my back as we continued onwards.

As we trotted to Zecora’s hut, the looming shadows in the forest bore down on us, filling every step with the possibility of danger. We slunk from shadow to shadow, terrified out of our wits. I turned to Pinkie Pie. She was bouncing along through the trees. I shook my head. Okay, maybe it was just me.

Crack!

“Pinkie!” I hissed, flinching.

Pinkie turned to me, oblivious. “What’s up?”

“We need to be quiet.”

“Oh, okay!” Pinkie half-shouted, before blushing and covering her mouth with her hoof. “I mean, oh, okay,” she whispered. She made no attempt to stop bouncing. I opened my mouth to scold her, but quickly noticed that she wasn’t making a sound, in spite of her hooves still crushing down on the crunchy detritus. I shook my head and mentally filed the incident along with the rest of Pinkie’s mysteries.

I blinked, warily darting my eyes around the forest. I had allowed myself to be distracted, yet the timberwolves hadn’t attacked. I focused on listening for threats, but for some reason, I found myself less twitchy, less anxious. I glanced at Pinkie Pie. Had she planned that, or was Pinkie just being Pinkie? I shook my head and kept moving.

Finally, we arrived at Zecora’s hut. I knocked on the door, Pinkie standing right behind me. The door opened, revealing Zecora. “Welcome, my dears.” She smiled as she turned to me, her sharp eyes seemingly piercing through me as I hid my face behind my ligneous mane. I gulped and smiled back, pawing at the floor. Zecora held up a paw to examine my mane. “Say to your fears: nevermore, for in my lair lies your cure.” She beckoned us in with a wave.

I gulped. I really wished she wouldn’t call it her lair. Nonetheless, I peeked my head inside and looked around. Creepy voodoo masks stared down at us from twisted wooden walls. Bubbling flasks hung from the ceiling, suspended by twisted thorny ropes that twitched as if in suspense. Low whispers from dark corners of the room echoed through my mind, but when I raised my ears to listen closer, all I could hear was silence. I gulped, reminding myself that this was all completely normal, and that Zecora was a nice pony. I listed to myself all the times she had taken care of me when I was sick or injured. I frowned. That had been quite a few times, hadn’t it? Zecora had been nothing but nice to me, and here I was judging her home just because it was a little strange. Pushing back my fear, I stepped inside.

A massive cauldron in a shallow pit in the middle of the room was filled with a clear liquid that appeared to be… water. I stepped closer to examine it. Zecora’s hoof shot in front of me, blocking me. I glanced at Zecora. She was holding up a familiar bubbling flask with her free hoof. I reached out and grabbed it in my mouth.

“These new bruises upon your face I cannot dismiss. Would you tell me how you got them, young miss?”

I froze. I reflexively moved my mane over my face, before reluctantly recognizing the futility of the gesture. I sighed, putting the flask down and opening it. The bubbling stopped almost immediately, and I poured the liquid across the worst of my injuries. I grit my teeth, almost breaking the flask, as a sharp pain erupted wherever the liquid touched and my wounds slowly began to knit themselves together.

“I—ow—ran into some timberwolves again,” I didn’t quite lie, feeling Zecora’s disapproving gaze and my own guilt burning through me. I knelt next to the flask and poured the rest into my hooves. Ignoring the pain, I spread the rest of the healing solution, which had now turned into the same paste I had used yesterday, over the rest of my wounds. Gasping, I pushed the flask back at Zecora. She pushed it over to the side and turned her head to Pinkie.

“Your name is Pinkie Pie, if my memory does not lie?” Zecora tilted her head.

Pinkie Pie nodded, tilting her head to match Zecora.

Zecora nodded, and said, “Though you may seem unwise, you at least tell no lies.” Looking away in shame, I bit my lip and swallowed my guilt. By now it was almost natural to me. Tell a lie, swallow the guilt, and repeat. It would all come crashing down, I knew, but what else could I do when the truth would only hurt them?

“Futile as the cause may be, may I request you care for her safety?” I glanced back at her. “I have known her since she was a little filly. Her emotions can make her a little silly. Away from danger she will not steer, but I will always hold her very dear.” Zecora smiled fondly at me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Pinkie nod and raise her hoof to her forehead in a salute.

Turning my head to Pinkie, I pushed myself to my hooves. A puddle was growing underneath her. She was somewhat shorter than she was before, and a whole lot more blue. I cleared my throat and determinedly promised myself to make it up to Zecora. Yet in the back of my mind, I couldn’t help but wonder whether that was a lie too.

“We need to start working on the poison joke antidote,” I asserted, forcing myself to look Zecora in the eye. She glanced over at Pinkie Pie and nodded. Reaching into a cupboard, Zecora pulled out a book and flipped it open.

Not bothering to turn around, she ordered, “You gather the gourdian-knot, and I will go heat up the pot.” I nodded. We got to work, slicing, dicing, stirring, and shaking all sorts of ingredients into the cauldron. Finally, the antidote was done, and Pinkie and I stepped inside.

I glanced over at Pinkie, who had been surprisingly quiet the whole time. Her eyes were darting around as if she was… scared? I prodded her shoulder. She jerked, eyes wide, before her eyes landed on me. She exhaled. Her mouth quickly curved into a smile, but her eyes told a different story. I patted her shoulder.

“It’s alright to be scared,” I told her, “I was terrified the first time I came here. I had been attacked by timberwolves, and Zecora found me and brought me back here. The first thing I saw when I woke up was that.” I pointed to a wall filled with voodoo masks.

Pinkie giggled. “Oh, Butterfly. I’m not scared of Zecora. She’s a really nice pony. And she put me in a stew! I’ve always wanted to be put in a stew!” I shook my head. I really didn’t want to know. Pinkie leaned in towards me. “It’s just… do you hear it?”

I flipped my ear up and listened. Nothing. “Hear what?” I asked.

“Don’t try to think about it,” Pinkie whispered, “Just listen without thinking. It goes away when you try to think about it.”

I put my hoof up and concentrated on it, trying to think about anything else. But I couldn’t hear anything. Just the usual—oh, right.

“You mean the whispering? Like there’s an itch at the back of your mind that goes away whenever you pay attention to it?”

Pinkie wiped her hoof across her brow in relief. As her hoof lowered, I saw it was stained with a considerably pinker purple than before. “Yeah! Just like that! I thought I was going crazy!”

I shook my head. “Don’t worry,” I assured her, “Zecora says it’s just part of the wards that keep out the bad things from the forest.” I ran my hoof across my mane, feeling the bark turning soft and crumbling at my touch. I sighed in relief. I looked back at Pinkie, who was staring out the window. Her breaths were shallow and her lips were pursed. I frowned.

“They’re very strong wards,” I continued, “Zecora said that it would take something as strong as the Princess herself to break them. You’re safe here.”

Pinkie nodded, smiling. “Oh, that’s good,” she said, pushing a strand of hair back into her mane. She still looked a little nervous, though.

I bit my lip. “Well, if there’s anything you need…” I looked down. “I’d be happy to help,” I finished. I took a deep breath and released it. “It makes me happy when you’re happy,” I admitted.

I could see some tension leaving Pinkie’s back as she burst into laughter. “Oh, Butterfly,” she said between snorts and giggles, “Never change.” I cocked my head at Pinkie Pie, confused.

As Pinkie’s laughter subsided, she looked at me with an odd expression on her face. Pushing her mane out of her face, she bit her lip and asked, “Butters?”

I nodded for her to continue.

“I know that you don’t like parties,” she began. My eyes widened. “But the Summer Sun Celebration is in two days, and it would mean a lot to me if you came.”

I cuffed the ground with my hoof. “The Summer Sun Celebration?”

Pinkie nodded furiously. “Yeah! It’s not like a party party, but more like a celebration party, where no one is judging anypony, and you don’t even have to talk to anypony just be there and everything will be fine and I’ll be extra quiet if you want and we can just watch the sun rise and it’llbejustthetwoofus! Ohmygoshwecaneatcupcakesandsingsongs! Ooh! Maybewe'llhaveateaparty—”

Pinkie babbled on, but I couldn’t really make out what she was saying. I didn’t really want to know. Every word she spoke made it sound even more perfect, and with every word she spoke the unease in my gut grew.

“It would mean a lot to you if I came?” I echoed, the words chafing against my numb mouth.

Pinkie nodded again. “Yeah! I was part of the team that did all of the decorating and—” Here she leaned in close, whispering into my ear with a hoof covering her mouth like she was about to reveal a big secret. “—spoiler alert: Princess Celestia herself will be there to raise the sun! It’s going to be amazing!”

I tried to back up, but found my back already pressed up against the wall of the cauldron. “Oh? Princess Celestia’s going to be there? That’s nice.” My hoof leaned over the cauldron’s side as I tried to escape. I reached my other hoof over, but hit the side, slipped, and slammed my face into the cauldron.

“Glub…” I burbled as I sunk into the cauldron. I held still. Maybe I could just drown myself? It would be faster, and a lot less nervewracking than being watched by hundreds of ponies, among whom would be royal guards, policeponies, and Princess Celestia herself. Then I shook my head as I realized I had just considered drowning myself to avoid a party. I felt myself being dragged out of the water.

“BREATHE!” I heard Pinkie shout, before I felt her hooves press hard against my chest. I spat out the antidote I didn’t even know I had swallowed and heaved. I shook my head, trying to clear it. I rubbed the antidote away from my eyes and opened them. Pinkie looked down at me, concerned. I coughed and waved her away.

“You know, if you don’t want to you could just say no. You don’t have to drown yourself,” Pinkie joked. Her smile didn’t quite reach her face, though.

I bit my lip.

“Oh, I’d love to,” I began. Pinkie’s face lit up, and I felt my heart physically ache from the effort it took me to continue speaking, “but I can’t.” My eyes were looking at the walls, the ceiling, the slight discolouration in one of the masks from an accident a few years ago—anything that wasn’t Pinkie. “I have to—um—feed the animals.” I glanced back at Pinkie.

She was beaming. I could feel the unease in my stomach turn to dread. “Don’t you worry about that,” Pinkie said, nodding in triumph, “I knew you wouldn’t let them go hungry, so I made sure that some ponies would take care of them while you’re away! One is even a nocturne, so she’ll take care of the owls and stuff!”

I forced a smile on my face. “Oh, well—”

“I also made sure that some guards would be posted near them to protect them from the meanie forest monsters. And I told all of the town about what a nice pony you are so none of them will be mean to you. And I picked the quietest seats in the house so you’ll be extra comfy. And there’ll be lemon flavored cupcakes: your favorite!”

I couldn’t decide whether it made me happy that Pinkie Pie had planned all of this, or I should be terrified that Pinkie had planned all of this. How did she even know I liked lemon flavored cupcakes? I hadn’t eaten one since I was a filly!

I grasped at one final straw. “Don’t you have other ponies to celebrate with? I’m not a very interesting pony,” I said, pawing at the ground.

Pinkie Pie raised an eyebrow and inhaled deeply. And then kept inhaling. I looked at her in alarm as her belly expanded like a balloon. Finally, she spoke, “Applejack is going with her family as usual and so is Carrot Top, Lyra and Bonbon have a thing going on and I would just get in the way, Thunderlane and the rest of the guys are going together as a guy group doing guy things and I’m not a guy or a stripper, Ditzy and I can’t be in the same room for more than five minutes before we start arguing about whether muffins or cupcakes are better, Flitter and—”

Pinkie kept talking, but all I was paying attention to was the way she spoke without taking a breath. Her words were an endless stream that seemed to spill from her slowly deflating belly. I vaguely wondered how long she could keep it up. Maybe I should time her the next time she did it. I was sure she was breaking some kind of record. Maybe she would never stop talking and the Summer Sun Celebration would be over and—

I felt a hoof touch my shoulder. I looked up. Pinkie was grinning at me.

“And if you think you’re not an interesting pony, you must think we wrestle dragons all day! You live in a mysterious forest, have a not-evil enchantress for a friend, and pick fights with timberwolves! Come on, you’re like the most awesomest ninja wizard I’ve ever met!”

I sighed. “I’m not a ninja—Oh, forget it.” I turned my head to the side, but made the mistake of letting my eyes wander back to Pinkie. She was pouting at me, her big blue eyes shining like pools of anticipation and joy. Her lips quivered, and I felt mine quivering in resonance.

“Okay, I’ll go.”

I broke. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t say no. Not when she had put in so much thought and effort into it. Not when she was counting on me. Not when she was so happy, and saying no would make her so sad. I knew she would be devastated when I was dragged off to prison. But that would be in two days. Now, she would be able to smile for a few more days. So I broke.

“YES!” As Pinkie shouted and hugged me, the feeling of dread in my stomach intensified. It was as if there was something niggling at the back of my mind, trying to warn me of something terrible, something that I was missing.

“Ohmygoshthisisgoingtobesuperamazingfunneriffic! I’m so happy I feel like I could explode! I can’t even hear the whispering anymore! It’s like the time I ate two hundred cupcakes and they had to catch me with a net after I knocked Applejack’s barn over—”

I blinked, eyes widening in horror. I didn’t hear the whispering either. I concentrated on Pinkie’s face and tried not to think. Nothing. I glanced at the door, and then at Pinkie.

“Pinkie?” I whispered.

She was still babbling.

“Pinkie!” I whispered louder.

“—but I just bounced into Cheerilee’s class and shouted, ‘Cupcakes for everypony!’ and they all just started screaming—”

I sighed and hugged Pinkie. She immediately stopped talking, a dazed look on her face.

“Pinkie, I can’t hear the whispering either,” I told her.

Pinkie frowned. “Didn’t you say—”

I interrupted again. “Shouldn’t Zecora be back by now? She said she was going to collect some more absinth.”

Pinkie stared at me blankly, obviously not recognizing the plant.

“There’s a patch of it a little bit away from the hut. It would only take about ten minutes to get it and come back,” I explained.

Pinkie gulped. I stepped over the cauldron’s walls—carefully, this time—and strode over to the window. I grimaced as the bark left in my mane chafed against my skin. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Pinkie leave the tub. Taking a deep breath, I peered out of the window and gulped.

“Pinkie, you should see this.”

As she strode up next to me, I counted the pairs of glowing green eyes I could see in the forest.

“One. Two. Three… Six. Seven—wait.” One pair of eyes was cyan, and wasn’t glowing. I squinted, and made out a hooded equine figure wearing a cloak standing in a dark clearing in the underbrush. The figure put a hoof up to the hem of its hood, as if about to reveal its face.

“TWITCHY TAIL!” I heard Pinkie shout, and felt her body smash into mine, throwing me away from the door. A split second later a cracking sound followed by a loud “BOOM!” crashed like thunder through the room. Smoke entered my nostrils and choked them with its acrid texture. Fire danced across my vision as I groaned and pushed myself up.

“Pinkie?” I called out, looking around. The door had exploded inwards, tipping the cauldron over and spraying liquid everywhere. Potion ingredients littered the ground, rocked from the walls in the blast. Pinkie lay on the floor next to the entrance, rubbing her head with her hoof. I rushed over to her.

“Are you okay?” I asked, checking her for injuries. There was a small bump on her head, and she fumbling around, struggling to stand. I put my hooves on each of her cheeks and stared into her eyes. Her pupils were dilated.

“Pinkie, you need to lie down. Don’t move, okay?” I wrapped my hooves around her, holding her still. “I think you might have a concussion. Just lie down and relax, okay?”

“Iss so pwetty…” Pinkie slurred out, hoof reaching out towards the burning remains of the door.

Fire was spreading from the still-burning door, fueled by the assortment of flammable potion ingredients that were now scattered across the ground from the blast. Tongues of flame slowly devoured the wooden cottage Zecora had called home, the ingredients she had braved the forest to collect, and everything else she had ever called her own.

One object in particular caught my eye. It was a book, the book Zecora had taken out when we were making the poison joke remedy. It was the book of plants and potions she had spent years painstakingly writing. It was Zecora’s life’s work. My eyes narrowed, and I sprinted over to it. Something exploded, splashing me, but I kept going, eyes never leaving the book. I heard something roaring behind me and dropped to the ground, feeling a ball of fire scorch the air above me as it flew by. It hit the wall in front of me, exploding and hurtling the book in my direction. I raised myself up and dived for it, grabbing it in my teeth just as it was about to land in the fire.

Turning back, I sped back to where Pinkie Pie was lying. The fire was getting closer. Putting the book down, I whispered into Pinkie’s ear, “Can you walk?”

“I’m not a filly anymore!” Pinkie grumbled, tottering to her hooves. She stood steadily for a second, before tilting over. I caught her and slung her over my back. She moaned and rolled, almost tipping over.

“Pinkie Pie,” I pleaded, trying to push her back into place with my wings, “Please just stay there. If you’re good, you’ll get ice cream, okay?”

Pinkie stilled. “Bubble gum?”

“All the bubble gum ice cream you want,” I promised, lifting my head to the door and peering out.

“You’re the best, Bongo,” Pinkie murmured, “I’ll never leave…”

I lifted my ear and raised my eyebrows. A flash of red caught my eye and I shoved my head back inside just in time for another fireball to scorch the edges of my furs as it passed by. It slammed into the back of the hut, blowing a hole through it. I gulped. Taking a deep breath, I stuck my head out of the doorway.

“WE SURRENDER!” I shouted so loud that the words ripped at my throat. I coughed and stuck my head back inside, and listened. A familiar roar rushed by my side as another fireball blew past.

I sighed, and slumped down, coughing from the smoke. I had two options. I could cross the fire with Pinkie on my back slowing me down, trying not to choke on the smoke, or get myself blown to pieces by a fireball, or trip and drop Pinkie into the fire, or run into a dead end. The other option was to drop Pinkie, turn around, head outside, beat the timberwolves and the insane unicorn, and then rescue Pinkie Pie before the hut collapsed on her. All I would have to do was fight six timberwolves and a unicorn who was as powerful as Celestia herself, and beat them in a matter of seconds with no weapons, tools, or help.

I kicked the ground with my hoof. It was all just so hopeless. I stared into the fire. Pinkie was right. It was kind of pretty. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to die to something so beautiful.

I coughed. Of course, the smoke would probably get us first. I put my nose as close to the entrance as I dared, breathing in what would probably be one of my last breaths. A cough from behind me shook me out of my reverie. I looked back. Pinkie was still breathing in smoke, and wouldn’t last much longer.

I shook my head. No. I wouldn’t give up. I couldn’t. I eyed the hole the fireball had made, and the creaking ceiling, and the fire spreading across the room. The hole was just big enough for the two of us to fit through. The ceiling… hadn’t fallen down and crushed us yet. That was something. I could barely make anything out from the smoke, but it looked like the poison joke antidote was acting as a fire retardant, clearing just enough of a path for me to cross.

I stuck my nose out for one last breath of “fresh” air, before picking up the book. Gritting my teeth, I ran for it, wings straining as they held Pinkie stable on my back. My hooves moved like molasses under Pinkie’s dead weight. Tears and smoke stung my eyes and fire licked at my fur. I heard something crashing behind me, but didn’t dare turn around. A roar alerted me to an incoming fireball, forcing me to leap out of the way. I screamed as my hoof landed in something that sent a white hot lance of burning agony through it. I pulled my hoof away, falling onto my side. Something in my wing twisted, and Pinkie rolled away from me. The book fell from my mouth into the liquid. I gasped in agony and exhaustion, falling on my face, listening for the inevitable roar that would spell my doom.

Clip. Clop. Clip. Clop.

I turned around. My vision blurred, I could barely make out a figure in the smoke. I coughed, and sobbed out, “Please! Whatever I did to you, Pinkie’s innocent! Let her go!”

The figure didn’t say anything for a moment. Then she spoke, her voice so cold it sent shivers down my spine. “Is this the great slayer who has struck such fear in my darlings? Oh, my. How their strength has waned under the burning light of Celestia’s precious sun.”

I clutched my singed hoof and whimpered. The figure stepped forward, the fire around her extinguishing itself as she moved. I trembled as I felt a chill wind move throughout the room, extinguishing the fire and revealing the charred bones of what had once been Zecora’s hut. A glowing blue aura emerged from the figure, swirling around like a maelstrom, crushing me under its force.

The figure stood above me, silent amidst the maelstrom. Finally, she spoke. “Truly, though. I expected something more. Perhaps what you need is motivation.” She stepped past me, now standing above Pinkie Pie.

I struggled to my hooves. “No…” I gasped out, hobbling towards her on three legs. A cloud of blue smoke billowed out from under her cloak, engulfing Pinkie. I flapped my wings, slowly forcing my way through the wind, desperately trying to reach her. The smoke engulfed Pinkie, lifting her into the air and over the cloaked mare.

“Oh, don’t worry, dear Fluttershy,” the mare said, spinning Pinkie around herself like candyfloss.

I flinched. “How—” I put my hooves to my head. “I’m not—” I stuttered, crawling away from her. “I’m not Fluttershy! Who’s Fluttershy?” I giggled hysterically as I crawled to my hooves and ran. My hoof landed awkwardly on something and I tripped. Landing on a pile of charred ashes and burnt wood, I found myself instinctively digging into it, trying to hide.

The mare spoke as if I hadn’t said anything, “I would not harm an innocent pony… too much. To be sure, I would never kill one.” I looked back at her. She turned her head to face me. Something sharp slid its way across my neck. “It’s my belief that a pony should reap what they sow. You’d know all about that, of course.” Scorn filled the cyan eyes that burned in the inky blackness covering her face.

Icy fear flooded my veins as I stared into the eyes of the reaper. There was no mercy or pity within, only scorn and death, and the only thing I knew at that moment was that I wanted to live. I plunged my head into the pile, ignoring the splinters piercing my body and the ash entering my lungs as I tried to burrow into it. I was an eyeless, brainless worm, devoid of thought as I squirmed my way into the ground, my only purpose being a desperate struggle to maintain my own existence. My hoof hit solid wood and I kept digging, too deep in panic to even comprehend the futility of the effort.

“Digging your own grave? Pathetic.”

Something yanked at my tail. I coughed as I was dragged out of the heap. I was pulled up until I hung upside down, eye level with what I had come to realize was Death herself. I flapped my wings and clawed at the ground with my hooves to no avail. I was foaming at the mouth, and I couldn’t see through my own tears.

“Please—I’m sorry—I’ll never kill anypony again—I never wanted—Let me live—I don’t want to—No—I’m sorry!”

I felt something in my throat and released it, feeling it spill over my face and into my mane. The apparition snorted in disgust.

“Stay still and be silent, you disgusting wretch! ”

I was thrown back onto the floor, where I collapsed, not daring to move. My belly ached, and I dry heaved, covering my mouth to be as silent as possible.

“Rise, worm.”

Once again, I forced myself up, almost falling over as pain cut through my injured hoof. I didn’t dare look up.

“Kneel.”

I threw myself down, bowing as low as I could. Heavy footfalls circled around me like a timberwolf circling its prey. Unable to help myself, I let out a whimper. A cold breath caressed my cheek, and I felt my head being turned to face the one that had released it. I closed my eyes.

“Look at me.”

I sniffed, and opened my eyes to Death. Her cold, cyan eyes stared into mine, impassive and unfeeling as the black void that held them.

“I will make you a deal.”

My ear flopped up. I opened my mouth. Death’s eyes narrowed. I closed it.

“If you take it, I will spare you—” she began.

That was all I needed to hear. “I’ll take it!” I blurted out.

“—and kill the pink one instead.”

I froze. I could feel Death smile triumphantly from behind the veil of shadows. The darkening blue mist around Pinkie Pie crept along her neck like a noose.

“Will you take the deal?”

My shoulders shook. I closed my eyes again. “You said you wouldn’t hurt Pinkie,” I said.

“I’m no murderer. I won’t harm a hair on her mane,” Death replied. I opened my eyes. Her mocking, crimson eyes bore down on me. “I can’t speak for my timberwolves, I’m afraid,” she drawled. “They do get hungry, you see—”

I screamed, throwing myself at her. I stretched out my wings to grab her neck, but was stopped midair by the reddish blue mist that wrapped around my body like a cocoon.

“Will you take the deal?” the monster in front of me repeated.

I snapped my teeth together and growled. “Pinkie hasn’t hurt anypony! You said you wouldn’t hurt her! You’re a liar!”

It stepped forward, eyes narrowing. “And you’re a murderer. Will you take the deal?”

I snarled, straining against my bonds. I spat at the monster’s cold, red eyes.

“I’ll take your life, you monster.”

It shook its head. “I offer you one more chance to live, my little pony. You may still experience life’s pleasures. All you have to do is offer a life in return. Do you really hold that obnoxious clown’s life in higher regards than yours?” Contempt dripped from its voice like a poisoned knife.

I sneered. “I’m a murderer. But you? You’re sick. You enjoy hurting ponies, don’t you? You say you don’t hurt innocent ponies, but you burned down Zecora’s hut. You gave Pinkie a concussion. What did they do to deserve it? You’re nothing but a monster, just like me!”

My skin was being torn off by the cold wind blowing through the room. Thunder crashed and lightning struck the walls. The ceiling was bending down and collapsing down on the floor. “That’s a no, then,” Death remarked coldly, her voice devoid of emotion.

“You can go to Tartarus with your deal! Pinkie’s worth more than the both of us,” I spat.

Icy cold spread through my body. I tried to take a breath, but I couldn’t move my mouth. I couldn't move my diaphragm to inhale. I couldn’t move anything. A cold claw gripped my heart and squeezed. My vision was fading to black, and I couldn’t feel my hooves. I was dying, I realized.

I tried to fight it. I tried to live. I tried to say something, anything to keep living. The last thing I heard before everything faded to black was a whisper.

“It seems the moon shall have her night, after all.”

I opened my eyes. Was I alive? I groaned, rubbed my eyes, and looked around. I was in Zecora’s hut, but it was normal. There was no fire. There was no wind. There was no Death. There was a wall filled with creepy voodoo masks, though. Then I remembered that was normal. I rolled over. Pinkie was lying facedown on the floor next to me, sleeping. I lifted my head. Zecora was lying next to her, asleep as well.

I raised my eyebrows as Pinkie muttered something about bubble gum and rolled over.

“Was it all a dream?” I asked, lifting myself up. I wanted something to drink. My fur was soaked with sweat, and the hoof that had been injured in the dream ached with phantom pain.

“If that was what you consider a dream, child, then I would be very interested in visiting your nightmares.”

I froze. Slowly, I turned my head around. Death was sitting by the fireplace on a table with a box of chamomile herb, napkins, a pitcher, a teapot, a tea saucer and a teacup. A kettle whistled behind her, next to the lit fireplace.

Death lifted the cup and took a sip. “Would you like some tea?” she offered. I shook my head. I was still dreaming. And even if I wasn’t… I looked around at the untouched hut, and Pinkie Pie and Zecora sleeping peacefully on the floor. Alive. Unhurt.

“Would you mind?” I asked, moving over to the sink and washing my wings. “My throat’s a bit parched,” I added.

Death shrugged. “Your screams were quite exuberant. I imagine that would be the cause,” she explained.

I opened a cabinet and pulled out a tea saucer and cup. “Oh,” I replied, “That would explain it then.”

I put my teacup on the table and sat down, placing a napkin in front of me. I looked up at Death. She had looked so much taller than I was when she was standing over me. As I looked at her now, she still seemed to be considerably taller than any pony I had ever met, maybe even taller than Princess Celestia. I looked down.

“Do you prefer your tea strong or weak?” she asked, picking up the teapot.

“Dying puts me in the mood for something strong,” I replied. I blushed. Oh, that was rude of me. I shouldn’t have mentioned death at a tea party. But then, it was a tea party with Death. It would be rude not to.

I frowned. This was a conundrum.

Death filled my teacup with tea. “Oh? I apologize for killing you. Your words hit a bit too close to old wounds, but I suppose you couldn’t have known. Sugar? I’m afraid I couldn’t find any milk or lemon.”

“Oh, yes. Lots, if you don’t mind,” I replied, absentmindedly. Was this spectre even Death? Now that I thought about it, wouldn’t Death be a murderer too? Death was the main cause of death, after all. But then, I didn’t know anything about this pony. She might not even be Death.

The spectre-who-may-or-may-not-have-been-Death dropped a few cubes of sugar into my tea, and then sat back, sipping hers.

I frowned, blushing. “I’m sorry for being rude, but you seem to know my name, but I’m afraid I never caught yours.”

“Oh? And who do you think I am?”

My blush deepened. “Well, I—um.” I turned away. “I’m sorry. You’ll think it’s stupid.”

The spectre shook her head. “You would not believe the things I have been mistaken for. I have even been mistaken for a wheel of cheese before. I’m sure you’ll do better.”

I blinked at the equine figure of cloaked darkness. “I thought you were Death!”

She laughed. I blushed, hiding my face behind my teacup as I pretended to sip my tea. Finally, she stopped.

“Yes, that is quite common. Mistaken, but quite common,” she said, before sipping her tea.

I raised my eyebrow, intrigued. “Who are you really, then?” I asked, putting my teacup down.

Not-Death slammed her teacup down. “Now? I am but a ghost of a millennia past, an old mare’s tale used to frighten children,” she spat bitterly, hooves pushing down on the table. I scooted back in my chair.

She sighed, pushing herself back. “I am not Death,” she continued, “Merely one of the dead. If you wish to give me a name, for now you may call me Shade, for that is what I am, until my power grows strong enough to reclaim what was mine and what I am owed.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, leaning in closer.

Shade didn’t speak for a while. Then she briskly shook her head. “Enough about me,” she said, “Let’s talk about you, Fluttershy.”

“Me?” I asked, leaning back even further. I turned around. Pinkie and Zecora were still sleeping. I sighed in relief.

“They won’t wake until I let them,” Shade said.

I turned back to Shade, not knowing how I felt about that. I did feel very calm, considering the circumstances. I looked down at my tea. Had I been drugged? “Okay,” I ended up replying.

“I have been watching you, Fluttershy.”

“Okay,” I repeated. My body felt a little numb. I put a hoof to my chest, giving a small sigh of relief when a steady pulse thumped into my hoof. It was a little weak, though.

Shade sighed, picking up the teapot and refilling her teacup. I looked down at mine. It was almost empty. Shade held the teapot in my direction. I pushed the cup forward, let her fill it, and then pulled it back.

Putting the teapot down, Shade spoke. “There is much that I know about you, and so much more to learn.”

I coughed. “Why do you want to know about me so much?” I asked. “Um. If you don’t mind me asking.”

“There is one thing I would like to know about you,” said Shade, ignoring my question. I tried not to frown, and partly succeeded. “Bears eat fish. Birds eat worms. I have yet to witness the death of a bear or a bird at your hands. What makes my timberwolves so evil that you take special care to kill them?”

I blinked, and shifted my leg slightly away from the table.

“They’re not alive. I mean, timberwolves are just magical constructs. I didn’t think anypony would miss them,” I began. Shade’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “I was wrong,” I said hastily, trying not to get killed again.

“They’re my magical constructs, dear,” Shade informed me. She took a long sip of tea, her eyes never leaving me.

I could feel the air in the room picking up, and backed up in my chair. “How was I supposed to know! And why did you make them in the first place? They don’t eat! All they do is kill!” I burst out, “They kill the innocent animals in the forest. They kill the ponies that get too close. They killed Angel’s family! I watched Balthial die in my hooves because a timberwolf tore out his throat and left him to die! It would have gotten me too if Angel hadn’t shown up! And for what? They don’t even eat what they kill!”

I was shouting. Shouting was impolite. Being impolite would get me killed again. I should stop shouting. I took a deep, shuddering breath, took my front hooves off the table, and sat back down. Feeling somewhat nauseous, I breathed in and out deeply as I counted to ten. Finally, I opened my watery eyes and looked at Shade.

“Well,” I began, “Um, what I’m trying to say is that I might have been angry, and um—” I sipped my tea, not sure what to say. “I’m sorry for killing your friends,” I ended lamely.

Shade was pouring more tea into her cup. She didn’t offer me any.

“Will you continue to kill them?” Shade asked, setting the teapot back down.

I opened my mouth to say no, but no sound came out. It was a lie, and the both of us knew it. I sighed. “Will they continue to kill innocent animals?” I asked, knowing what the answer would be. I slid my rear hooves from under the table and got ready to run.

Shade quaffed her tea like it was hard cider, and shook her head. “This isn’t what I came here to talk about.”

I fought the urge to sigh in relief. Shade gave me a look as if to say, “This isn’t over.”

I nodded slightly.

“I came here to offer you an opportunity,” she said, “You see yourself as a protector of the weak. You kill those who prey on the weak, after all.”

I said nothing.

“As you should know, there is a criminal syndicate in Cloudsdale known as the Rainbow of Light. They sell hard drugs: moon dust, Smooze ooze, Tirek’s tears, and the like.”

I nodded. Even as a filly, I had heard whispers of that gang. They were supposed to be the biggest gang in Cloudsdale. The meanest, too. I picked up my teacup and took a sip.

“But what does that have to do with me?” I asked, “I’m not—”

“They’re coming to Ponyville. ”

I grimaced. “How do you know?”

Shade’s eyes narrowed. “Because they’re already here.” A small flask floated up from under the table, carried by Shade’s magic. I picked it up and examined it. It was filled with something that looked like blood. I sniffed it and gagged. It smelled like fire and rotten eggs.

“Tirek’s tears,” Shade explained, “A well known steroid. Whoever drinks it will have their strength and endurance greatly increased. However, it eventually turns the user into a violent and hateful shell of their former self. I found a pony trying to sell it to a foal at the local elementary school.”

I dropped my teacup. It landed on the ground and shattered. “Who?”

Shade shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. Take her out and she’ll simply be replaced. You need to sever the head of this group.”

Blue mist poured out from under the table, whipping around the room in a storm of magical energy. I stepped back in alarm as from the smoke appeared two ponies. One was a lavender unicorn mare with a purple and pink mane and a cutie mark depicting a purple star surrounded by five white stars. The other was an amber unicorn mare with a crimson and yellow mane, and a cutie mark depicting a half-red half-yellow sun reminiscent of Celestia’s cutie mark.

“Twilight Sparkle and Sunset Shimmer,” Shade introduced, pointing at them in turn, “Celestia’s proteges. I have reason to believe that one, or perhaps both of them is a high ranking member of the Rainbow of Light, and is behind their decision to move to Ponyville.”

The mist receded, and the unicorns shimmered and disappeared with it. Shade stood up and walked over to me. Leaning her head in, she said, “They will be in Ponyville until the Summer Sun Celebration ends. I suggest you act quickly.”

I looked at her, eyes wide. “Why are you telling this to me? Why not just tell the police? What do you want me to do?”

Shade laughed, stepping away. “You want me to accuse perfect little Celestia’s perfect little proteges of being involved in high conspiracy looking like this?” She spat out Celestia’s name like a curse. “Me?” she continued, “Hah! You’d have better luck than I, murderer!”

I blinked, finally understanding. “No,” I told her.

She turned back towards me. “No what?” she hissed. A cold wind began to swirl around the room.

“I’m a murderer. That’s why you picked me, isn’t it?”

Shade stepped back. “What?”

I shook my head, but quickly stopped, feeling dizzy. I wobbled on my hooves. Taking a breath, I stared at Shade as sternly as I could. “You want me to kill Celestia’s apprentices. I don’t know what your issue is with Celestia, and I don’t care. Tonight, you’ve done nothing but lie and hurt and play twisted mind games. I’m having a very hard time trusting you, Shade.”

My fur stood up from the static in the air. A loud boom split the air and something crashed behind me. A low growl rose from under Shade’s cloak. I stood my ground. “I’ll take your tip into consideration. Please go.”

Shade stalked over to me until I could feel her ice cold breath bearing down onto the top of my head. I felt something crawl up my throat and swallowed it back down.

“Please go away,” I thought at her.

“You have no idea to whom you are speaking, foal. I was not lying when I told you about her apprentices. You will kill one of them for Ponyville. And then, you will kill the other for me.”

I could feel myself being lifted up until my face was level with the darkness that hid hers. “You’ll do your best,” she drawled, “unless you want to see Ponyville rot and burn, knowing you did nothing to stop it.”

I was thrown backwards onto the floor. I rubbed my nose, breathing shallowly. I closed my eyes and tried not to vomit.

GOAWAYGOAWAYGOAWAY! I screamed at her internally, but couldn't muster the strength to say anything out loud.

“Talk to a pegasus named Rainbow Dash. Tell her Shade sent you,” she said, her voice a faint echo bouncing through my mind. I turned back to her but she was gone. I collapsed, pressing my face against the floor, dry heaving.

“Maybe poison,” I muttered, forcing myself onto my back, “Shock?” My vision was blurring. I saw something pink moving in my vision, and heard shouting. I turned my head to the side, trying to remember what to do, but couldn’t think through the fuzziness in my head. Something grabbed my face, and turned it until I was blearily gazing into Zecora’s face.

“I lied about the timberwolves,” I muttered. I didn’t know why I said it. Why now? It didn’t mean anything anymore. She wouldn’t even know what it meant. “I lied about a lot of things,” I continued. “I’m sorry.” I could hear Zecora respond, but her words lost their meaning as they disappeared with me into darkness.

Chapter 9: Blinded by the Light

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“—some kind of psychosomatic feedback from a magical stimulus.”

My consciousness swam through a murky bog that grasped at my thoughts, dragging them into its depths. My eyes were barely open, a sliver of light coming through them. Dark blobs surged forward at the edge of my vision, babbling words that sounded Equestrian but seemed void of any meaning. They were moving towards me. Watching me. Hunting me.

Were they real? Were they timberwolves, here to eat me? But they could talk. Maybe they were talking timberwolves. Maybe I could ask them why they killed all those innocent animals. Maybe I could ask them to stop.

No, I decided. That was silly. I was dreaming. I should wake up. But sleep seemed so enticing. They wouldn’t hurt me if I just lay here for five more minutes, would they? They were getting awfully close, though. If they were timberwolves, this might be really, really bad.

My eyes burned a little, not in the fiery, painful sense, but like a muscle I had spent all day exercising. I tried to blink, but couldn’t even move my eyelids.

I groaned. I didn’t need this when I was being attacked by timberwolves. I tried to raise my hoof to rub at them, but couldn’t move my hooves either. A bead of sweat rolled down my back as the voices approached, their unseen eyes watching my motionless struggle, monstrous mouths curving into wicked smiles at my helplessness.

An excited voice echoed in the distance.

“—never seen anything like it before! The sheer amount of magical finesse involved—”

I couldn’t move anything. My body was completely paralyzed. I tried to shout for help, but couldn’t. All I could do was listen and wait. The voices were coming closer.

“—incredible precision! If we could learn even a fraction of the techniques used to create such an effect, we could make huge leaps in the field of mental magic. Think about it! The medical benefits alone would—”

A new voice interrupted. “Miss Sparkle! I’m sure she’ll be happy to let you probe and prod her when she wakes up, but right now she’s my patient and I brought you here to help identify the problem, not to exacerbate it.”

Miss Sparkle spoke up. “Of course I’ll help! If the effect is ongoing, we can analyze it to potentially reverse-engineer the spell that was used!”

A moment passed and then she shuffled a bit. “And help her too, of course,” she said, laughing sheepishly. Something shuffled behind me, and then I felt something pulling one of my eyes open.

“She seems to be coming out of REM.” A pony with a blood-stained white coat stared into my eyes, her own sapphire blue eyes unnervingly close to mine. I tried to turn my head and, to my surprise, actually succeeded. Wasting no time, I forced myself upright. Or rather, tried to.

“Hold her still!” the pony commanded, her hooves pressing down on my chest as I thrashed around. I felt hooves pushing down on my shoulder as well, but couldn’t turn my head far enough to see who they were attached to.

“What? Where am I? What’s going on?” I shouted, twisting my head around, gazing at the unfamiliar surroundings.

I was lying on a flat, hard bed with no mattress or blanket, wearing a hospital gown two sizes too large. Another pony wrapped in bandages lay in a similar bed next to me. The three of us were surrounded on three sides by curtains, and by a wall on the fourth side which was lined with various medical instruments. I turned back to the pony holding me down, who, as she leaned her head down with a syringe clutched in her teeth, revealed the nurse’s cap on her head. I was in a hospital.

I looked at the syringe in the nurse’s mouth. It was filled with some kind of reddish-orange liquid that seemed to roil hatefully in its container, dripping from the hypodermic needle. My head pounded as I stared at the cruelly sharp point of the needle. The hooves on my shoulders were the branches of a dead tree, twisting over me and holding me in place, and the nurse’s face leered hatefully down at me, her face twisting into Slammer’s cruel physiognomy.

Slammer stalked closer, the sharpened piece of wood held between his teeth. “Now, this will hurt,” he promised, mouth curving into a sadistic smile, “but I want you to be brave, okay?”

I whimpered and held still, eyes closed, waiting for the end.

It didn’t come. I opened my eyes, looking up at the nurse, who was staring at me suspiciously, syringe still in her mouth. I held still and put on my most affable, friendly smile. She put the syringe back down on the table next to me, eyes never moving away from me.

I sighed in relief. She wasn’t Slammer. And I was in a hospital.

Wait. Why was I in a hospital? Shouldn’t I be at Zecora’s? Was Zecora alright? They did background checks in hospitals, didn’t they? I couldn’t stay here!

I tried to get up, but the nurse had clearly been expecting it, because she immediately slammed me back down again, going for the syringe.

“No, wait! Please! I won’t do it again. I’ll be good! I promise!” I begged, eyes firmly fixed on the needle. The needle came closer, its sharp point gleaming wickedly in the dim light. A tear trailed down my face until it stopped on the bottom of my chin. I didn’t dare move to wipe it away. “I’ll be good,” I repeated, holding as still as I could. “Please. Please.”

The nurse stopped and frowned. Slowly, she put the syringe down and spoke. “You’re in the Ponyville Medical Center. Well… the temporary extension, at least. You were brought here after you were attacked this morning.”

“Zecora!” I shouted, remembering. “Pinkie Pie! Are they alright?”

For a split second I tensed my muscles to get up again, but, seeing the nurse frown and look to the syringe, immediately flattened myself against the bed. “I’ll be good,” I repeated, not sure whether I was talking to the nurse or to myself.

She put a hoof to my chest, holding me down. “They’re fine. Please don’t move,” she continued, “You were badly hurt.”

I nodded. Fiddling with my hooves, I asked, “What happened?”

The nurse frowned. “We were hoping you could tell us, actually. Those two you mentioned brought you over here. They said the three of you had been attacked by an unknown unicorn.”

I frowned. Right. That had happened. I took a deep breath, trying to collect my thoughts.

If I remembered correctly, there was a crazy unicorn on the loose trying to kill Princess Celestia’s students, one of whom may or may not have been a drug lord of a gang that was moving into Ponyville if said crazy unicorn hadn’t lied about that too. I had two days to find out just what was going on, and put a stop to it. But I had promised Pinkie that I would attend the Summer Sun Celebration, which meant that I really had one day to figure everything out, unless I skipped out on her which would hurt her feelings and make her hate me for the rest of her life. But I would probably be in the hospital for the rest of the day unless I escaped. And what would they think when I escaped from the hospital without paying the hospital fees? Were there hospital fees? Would I have to make a new identity and run away from Ponyville after this? I’d have to leave Pinkie behind. She’d definitely hate me for that. Unless I got caught during the Summer Sun Celebration, and she found out I was a murderer. Then she’d hate me more.

My head was starting to hurt. I closed my eyes. Maybe everything would start making sense if I just slept a bit more…

I forced my eyes open and bit my tongue to keep myself awake. I didn’t have the time to waste, lying here and moping around while ponies could be getting hurt!

I turned to the nurse, who was watching me with concern. “Well, I’m feeling fine now,” I told her, nodding and smiling as cheerfully as I could manage despite hearing the desperation crack through in my voice. “Can I leave? Please?”

She frowned. “We’ll have to run a few tests first. A spell caused your heart to stop for a few minutes—”

“Technically, it was a magically induced psychosomatic reaction that forced her body to temporarily react as if it were experiencing cardiogenic shock, amongst other things,” a voice piped up from behind me.

I flinched in recognition. Miss Sparkle. The nurse had called her Miss Sparkle.

I tried to turn around, but found myself forced down once more.

“Who-Who’s that?” I asked, trying my best to sound casual.

The nurse shook her head. “Oh, where are my manners? My name is Nurse Redheart, and this is Twilight Sparkle.” Nurse Redheart motioned her head to the other pony holding me down.

The hooves on my shoulder released me. Hoofsteps circled around my hospital bed, until the image of a familiar lavender unicorn appeared. Only this time she wasn’t just an image. I rubbed my eyes and looked again. She was still there. I gulped.

Twilight Sparkle smiled and leaned down to me. “Hi there! I’m Twilight Sparkle! From what Nurse Redheart tells me, your name is Butterfly.”

I smiled weakly at her, forcing my head to nod.

Twilight Sparkle’s smile brightened. “Great! I was wondering if I could—”

Nurse Redheart coughed.

Twilight Sparkle’s smile dimmed. “Maybe later, I guess. Well, I’m here to check out any residual magic that the unicorn might have left on you. If there’s nothing, then you should be free to go!”

Nurse Redheart shook her head. “I recommend that you spend a few days here, even if she doesn’t find anything. You just recovered from a condition that is most ponies wouldn’t survive.” She frowned and put her hoof to my head, eying me strangely. “Although you don’t seem to be suffering from adverse health effects, you were attacked by a unicorn who was using magic that even Twilight Sparkle here isn’t familiar with.” She shook her head. “I just don’t want to take any risks with your health.”

Twilight Sparkle smirked at her. “Wouldn’t it be better if we ran some experiments, just to make sure?”

Nurse Redheart sighed. “Just scan her,” she ordered. “Then we’ll see.”

Still smirking, Twilight Sparkle turned to me. “This’ll take just a minute,” she said, tilting her horn down at me. I tried not to flinch as her magic washed over me. It moved through my body like a cold, mechanical ray of truth, pulling apart my lies and exposing me to the world. I shivered.

I mentally slapped myself. I was being silly again. It was just going to detect magic. Nothing more. I took a deep breath and released it. In. Out. In. Out.

Finally, the magic pulled back and Twilight shook her head, a disappointed frown on her face.

“Well, Butterfly, you’re clean. There appears to be a negligible amount of residual foreign unicorn magic left in your system,” She said, kicking the floor, “It can’t hurt you, but we can’t use it to see what spells were cast on you.”

I sighed in relief. I didn’t want to have needles stuck into me or whatever this science-crazed mare was planning. Though, now that I thought about it, she seemed a bit too science-crazed to be a drug kingpin. But then again, what did a drug kingpin even act like? I had never met one.

A hoof pressed against my forehead.“ Well, there doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with you, but I think it would be best if you stayed here for observation. I’ll call the sheriff over to take your statement,” Nurse Redheart explained.

I turned my head to Nurse Redheart so quickly that I felt something pop in my neck. I grimaced and rubbed at it with a hoof.

“How long will that take?” I asked, trying to maintain a semblance of calm.

“He’ll be here in a few hours. Normally, he’d just drop by but… you know how it is. With the Summer Sun Celebration and all the strange things going on around here lately, his schedule is a little booked.”

“Strange things?” I asked, unable to help myself.

“Oh, yes. With the Summer Sun Celebration, we always get a bunch of ponies from all over the place coming to spectate. This year has been… unusually rowdy,” the nurse explained, eying the bed to my side.

The stallion lying on the bed had a grayish amber coat and a cutie mark of three bags with money symbols. That was all I could see, however, because his entire face was covered in bandages. Ominous dark splotches dotted the bandages, centered around his mouth. I turned away, rubbing my eyes.

Nurse Redheart tsked and moved a curtain to block my view.

“I’m sorry,” she said, “I shouldn’t have let you see that.”

I said nothing. Nurse Redheart eyed the hospital booth on the other side of me. I didn’t look. “Now that you’re stable, I’m going to call the sheriff and take care of the other patients. Please just try to relax.” She shot a glare at Twilight Sparkle. “And stop bothering my patient!”

Twilight Sparkle raised her hooves in surrender, and Nurse Redheart walked away, huffing. A moment passed, in which Twilight Sparkle just stood by me. It was just the two of us. I turned my head to face her at almost exactly the same time she turned to face me. I blushed and looked away. I peeked over at her through my mane. She was staring down at me with a strange, almost sly consideration.

“Did you happen to see the pony who attacked you?” she asked, her gaze burning a hole through me from the corner of my vision.

I leaned away from her. “N-No,” I stuttered.

She leaned in closer. “Nothing? Did you see what color she was? What color the spell was? Did she do anything special when she cast her spell? Was she holding anything, or wearing anything, or chanting anything when she cast her spell?”

“She was—She was, um, wearing a cloak. I don’t know anything else. It was too fast. I couldn’t see anything,” I replied, my head turning further away so that she couldn't see my face. Twilight Sparkle sighed behind me. I turned back around. “Sorry,” I apologized, pressing my hooves together.

Twilight Sparkle’s ears had drooped. “Well, thanks anyway,” she said. Blushing, she apologized, “I’m sorry if I’m bothering you, it’s just… Whatever magic your attacker used… I’ve never seen anything like that before and well… It’s just so fascinating! I mean, if we could replicate the effect, it would open up a whole new field of magic for us to study!”

She clapped her hooves together, giggling maniacally. The hairs in her mane split, her voice cracked, and her eyes gleamed in an eerie fanaticism. As she spoke the word “magic” her horn glowed and a faint purple cloud of magic poured from it, electrifying the air with her sheer excitement. She didn’t seem to notice.

I should have been scared. I should have turned tail and run. But as I stood there, staring at this madpony, all I could think about was how happy she looked. Surrounded by an aura of magical energy, Twilight Sparkle looked like she had found peace. She had found something that she cherished, something to hold on to, even when the world took everything else away. There was so much wonder and excitement in her eyes that I couldn’t help but smile along with her.

“Oh, that would be wonderful,” I told her. As the magic that poured out of her horn and buzzed against my skin, I couldn’t help but think of the animals that waited for me back home, and how they made me feel.

I loved the carefree way the birds flew through the fields and trees. I loved the way the snakes and lizards lay peacefully on rocks in the sun, simply content to bask in its warm glow. I would do anything to be back there, just to be with them. But a niggling doubt wormed its way into my gut. If I would risk my life for the animals I loved, what would Twilight Sparkle do for magic? If I would kill to protect, what would Twilight do to learn?

Twilight Sparkle stepped back and looked at me as if seeing me for the first time. “You think so?” she asked, eying me like I was a drop of water in a desert.

I nodded emphatically. “I’ve actually never seen anypony as passionate as you about magic. It must mean a lot to you.”

“Oh, you have no idea! I research, study scrolls, read books, run experiments, everything!” She grinned, clapping her hooves together again. “It’s so much fun!”

“Ooh. That sounds fun,” I told her. It didn’t sound very fun to me, but I supposed that was why we didn’t have the same cutie marks. “What did you come to Ponyville to study?”

“Actually, I’m not here to study magic. I was just sent to Ponyville to make sure everything goes smoothly during the Summer Sun Celebration,“ she said. She glanced around, before leaning in and whispering into my ear, “Don’t freak out or anything, but I’m actually the Princess’s protege.”

“Really?” I asked, plastering a surprised smile on my face. “That’s amazing!”

Twilight Sparkle beamed, hopping up and down a little. “I know! I couldn't believe it either! I mean, there I was being awarded the Starswirl Medal for the Advancement of Recondite Magical Studies, and I thought the day couldn’t get any better, when all of a sudden the Princess just walked up to me and asked me to be her protege!”

I smiled, not even needing to fake it this time. That actually did sound impressive. “Well, congratulations! You must be very smart.”

She blushed. “Oh, no. Not really. I just study a little more than most ponies. It helps that my special talent is magic.”

I smiled awkwardly, not sure what to say next. She just didn’t seem like the evil kind of pony I would expect from a drug kingpin, but she didn’t seem as wise and all-knowing as I would expect from a protege of the Princess herself. If we had met under different circumstances, I would have just pegged her for a normal pony, even if she was slightly nerdy. And powerful, judging from her previous display.

“What about you?” she asked, tilting her head and staring unabashedly at my flank. “What’s your special talent?” She gestured with her hoof at my flank.

I glanced back and glared at it, before turning back to face Twilight Sparkle. “Oh! I take care of animals.” Amongst other things.

A flash of something filled her eyes for a moment, before she smiled and said, “Oh, a zoologist! That’s exciting. Or at least it sounds like it would be. I mean, I don’t actually know how to take care of animals other than mice or—uh.”

She hesitated, a strange look on her face. I frowned, taking note of her sudden anxiety. What was that about?

“Er, I mean—” she stammered.

“Oh, you have a pet mouse?” I asked. Maybe this was some kind of lead? I didn’t know what kinds of things Twilight would tell a mouse, or if the mouse would even tell me anything incriminating, but maybe if I asked nicely enough and in the right way, she would slip up and reveal something.

She nodded jerkily, rubbing her neck. “Pet? Uh—Yes! Yes, I have a pet mouse.”

I smiled, clopping my hooves together and straightening my back. “Ooh! I’d love to meet her!” I said. “Is it a her? What kind mouse is it? I—”

“She’s dead,” Twilight Sparkle blurted. “I had a pet mouse, is what I meant.”

I flinched. “Oh.”

Me and my big mouth. She had lost her pet mouse and was sad about it. There was no conspiracy here. I was just being a big jerk to a pony who had lost a friend, and for what? The suspicions of some insane unicorn who had attacked and threatened me and Zecora and Pinkie Pie. Shade had probably just lied to me to hurt me more.

I turned my head away. Poor mouse. I hoped it had been painless, at least. I opened my mouth to ask how he died, but decided against it. I didn’t want to bring up even more painful memories. I stared at the floor in silence, searching for something to say.

“I’m sorry,” I finally apologized, looking up to her. “That must have been hard for you.”

Twilight Sparkle took a deep breath, turning her head away. “Yeah,” she replied, “It was, uh, tragic. Painful memories and all. Let’s not talk about it anymore, okay?”

I nodded. I could respect that. I bit my lip. That was one downside to having animal friends. Having to attend so many funerals. I closed my eyes and sighed, lost in memories.

Twilight Sparkle shuffled away. “Well, I should probably go. I’m supposed to be overseeing things, after all. It was nice meeting you, though!”

Reluctantly, I opened my eyes and waved at her. I needed to go too, after all.

She trotted away to the doorway, turned around, and said, “You should come visit me in the library sometime. It’s the big tree in the middle of the town. You can’t miss it!”

I nodded, waiting until she left the room before counting to ten and slipping off my gown. Satisfied that she wasn’t coming back, I slowly pushed myself off the bed and onto my hooves. Walking forward, I stretched my wings and tested my range of motion. Other than a little soreness and something in my eyes that just wouldn’t go away, my body seemed fine. Ditching my hospital gown, I slowly tiptoed to the edge of the curtain and peered out. Nurses and doctors bustled through the room, which seemed more like a converted warehouse than a hospital.

The floor was made of uneven plywood boards nailed together and shoved over a patch of grass. Some grass peeked out through the spaces between badly patched together board. There were no windows. Instead, lights hung from strings tied to hooks on the ceiling. The curtains hung on rows of moveable racks, the placement of which was skewed as if they had been hastily shoved together at the last minute. Through the spaces between each curtain, I could see ponies lying in rows of hospital beds, each of them covered in a combination of bandages, braces, and band-aids. It was as if I had stepped into a war zone.

I didn’t know what was normal for Ponyville, but I was pretty sure this was not it. I shook my head. One good thing about the chaos was that it was unlikely that anypony would notice if I just left. I strode purposefully towards the door, and reached it unaccosted. Pushing it open, I stepped outside and peered out.

My eyes exploded with fire. I hissed and shoved my head back inside, slamming my hooves into my eyes in a desperate attempt to alleviate the agony. My eyes felt like somepony had shoved pins and knives and other sharp objects into them and twisted. After a while, I wiped away the tears that had gathered on my face and looked back behind me. Nopony had noticed me yet, but my luck wouldn’t last. I needed to leave.

Slowly, I pushed the door open. Light spilled into the hospital, blinding me and forcing me to close my eyes. Why was it so bright? Keeping my eyes closed and holding my wings in front of my face, I stepped into the daylight. The light was so strong that, even through my closed eyelids and past the cracks in my wings, it burned my eyes a little. Ignoring the pain, I opened my eyes just a little so I could look through the crack between my eyelids.

All I saw was a burning, raging white. I shut my eyes and pushed forward. Ponies bustled around me, bumping into me and muttering vague apologies before busily continuing on their way. “Get your apples here! Fresh apples, straight from the apple orchard!” one mare shouted, stomping her hooves with every enunciation of the word, “apple." I ignored the rumbling in my stomach and hurried forward, hoping that wherever I was headed, it was less crowded. After a few minutes of walking, bumping into ponies and buildings, apologizing, and walking some more, it became clear that I was probably just going in circles.

I bumped into another pony. I sighed.

“Oh, please excuse—”

“Hey! I’m walking here!” the mare I had bumped into shouted, her coarse voice grating on my ears. I flinched.

“I’m sorry. I—”

“Why don’t you shut up and watch where you’re going,” she snapped.

A new mare spoke up, “It helps when you have your eyes open, stupid.”

I stepped back and bumped into something hard. A tear trailed its way down my face. I wiped it away, and took a shuddering breath.

I’m sorry,” I repeated.

“Sorry? No, you’re not sorry. Not yet, anyway.”

A claw grabbed my throat, lifting me bodily off the ground. I slammed my hoof into it, but only succeeded at making my hoof hurt. The claw tightened, and I suddenly couldn’t breathe anymore.

“Listen up, nerd—”

Why me?

I was being choked and about to beaten for the umpteenth time in just a few short days. It was actually starting to get old. That was a little upsetting. I didn’t want to get used to being beaten up. It would be like flight camp all over again! She was even calling me a nerd.

Something hard slammed into my face. I held a hoof to where it had cut into my skin. A little blood smeared against my hoof. My lip curled. Even Slammer had hit harder than that.

“You got that, chump?” the flight-camp-bully-wannabe shouted.

No. Wasn’t listening. Go away.

I wondered if there was something about me that made ponies just want to beat me up. Oh, and timberwolves too. And since I was being held up by claws, this probably wasn’t a pony either. Okay, scratch that. Everything wanted a piece of me. Maybe I just had the kind of face that attracted bullies. Maybe some kind of karmic force was punishing me for my crimes. Maybe I was the universe’s designated pinata. I giggled, and was punched again for my moment of levity.

I pushed at the claw holding me up. It didn’t budge. I was running out of air. I didn’t know if I could take on both them with my eyes closed, but at this rate I might die. Again. And, as I found out this morning, dying sucked. I moved my hoof along the claw, until my hoof met fur. I then raised my hoof and slammed it back down as hard as I could.

“Ow! You bitch!” The clawed beast shouted, stepping away from me. I landed with a crunch on the cobblestone floor. My hooves slipped under me, and my face slammed onto the floor. I picked myself up and and stepped back as she moved towards me, the rocks beneath her scraping her claws.

“You little shitstain,” she began, her voice a low growl filled with the promise of vengeance.

I tensed and flared my wings, sneering at the bully. I wasn’t a little filly anymore, and this wasn’t flight camp. I had been beaten, raped, and killed in the past few days. Enough was enough. If these bullies wanted a fight, then even if I lost, I’d make sure they wouldn’t want another.

The other pony spoke up. “Gilda, just leave her alone.”

My ear flopped up. What? This was new.

“Are you fucking serious?” Glida replied.

I flinched as something screeched against metal. I hoped they weren’t carrying weapons.

“Look, she’s just some stupid cripple or something. We’ve got better things to do. I’m not gonna be the one to tell the boss we were late just because you decided to beat up a cripple in the middle of the streets in broad daylight.”

Even through the crowded marketplace, I could hear Gilda’s teeth gnashing together like nails on a chalkboard. I frowned. What kind of teeth did Gilda have?

“Tch. Whatever. You’re such a fucking bleeding-heart, Dash,” she replied.

Dash? I frowned. As in, Rainbow Dash? The pony Shade told me to talk to? It could have been a coincidence, but I doubted it.

Gilda was talking.

“—got off lucky this time, punk. If I ever see you again, I’ll fucking break your spine,” she said. She stepped forward and brushed past me, almost knocking me over.

The other mare hesitated for a moment, before moving forward.

I pawed at the ground. Shade was untrustworthy, and by proxy, so was Rainbow Dash. Still, this was probably my only chance to get any answers. “Rainbow Dash?” I asked, turning my head in her general direction.

She stopped. “How do you know my name?” Rainbow Dash asked, stomping over to me. “Who in the hay are you? And seriously, open your eyes. You look like a creep.”

I took a deep breath. Well, here goes nothing. “Shade sent me,” I told her.

A moment passed. Then Rainbow Dash spoke. “You?” she asked, her voice dripping with scorn and disbelief. “You. Not like, a police pony, or an army, or even a pony who isn’t feathering blind! You?”

From somewhere in the distance behind me, heard Gilda call out, “Hey, Dash! What was that you were saying about not wasting time?”

Rainbow Dash sighed disgustedly. “Ugh, whatever. Meet me at the Green Mill at eleven tonight. I dunno how you’re going to find it being blind and all, but I gotta scram so good luck with that.”

“Can you turn me towards the Everfree Forest?” I asked, remembering that I was hopelessly lost.

A moment passed. “You’ve got to be—Seriously? You know what? Fine! Here.”

She lifted me up with her hooves and spun me around. Before I could thank her, her wings flapped and a rush of air blew into my face. She had flown off.

“Thank you!” I shouted after her. She didn’t reply.

I walked forward for what seemed like an hour, stumbling over rocks and bumps and even into a river, before my eyes finally stopped burning and I felt a cold wind rush over me. I opened my eyes. I was in the Everfree forest, where the sun couldn’t reach me. I glanced back and stared at a lonely ray of sunlight piercing through the canopy, eyes watering only partly from pain of staring into the sunlight.

What did Shade do to me?

I sighed. Well, I couldn’t go out there. I turned back to face the forest. It looked like I would be waiting for nightfall. I walked on.

Chapter 10: In the Heat of the Night

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Fluorescent scarlet light shone from the ceiling as a smiling stallion in a suit strode onto the stage, swinging his saxophone from side to side. Dancers dressed in silky satin swung silently around shining, silver poles as sensual, smooth jazz spilled from the stallion’s instrument, fusing with the applause of the mass of ponies who were thrusting bits at him, stomping and screaming for his soulful music.

I bobbed my head with the beat of the drummer in the background and smiled shakily. The music was actually really nice. It was passionate yet elegant at the same time, with just a hint of a ragtime influence that made me feel oddly nostalgic. It was almost worth the risk of getting caught and getting thrown into Tartarus for all of eternity.

Actually—I quickly glanced around before I thrust my head back behind my mane and hunkered down. No, it wasn’t. I raised the bar’s menu to cover my face and quivered. When was Rainbow Dash going to get here?

After a few moments, I peered over the menu to look at the bartender, who looked expectantly at me whilst handing a pony a glass of some kind of alcoholic drink that I didn’t recognize. I looked back down at the menu. I had seven bits. The cheapest thing on the menu that I could see was a ten-bit glass of beer. I glanced at the appetizers. Well, there was also a bag of crackers with cheese for seven bits. My eyebrows rose almost of their own accord. Seven bits? Who’d actually pay seven bits for a bag of crackers?

A little piece of bark brushed against my eyes. I pushed the stray hair back into my mane, my hoof rubbing against fragmented bark and stray leaves. I sighed. At least I wouldn’t have to dye my mane anymore. But I had to wonder: if my mane was still leafy, then was Pinkie Pie still melting? I really hoped Zecora was doing something about that.

Looking around once more, I tapped my hoof against the bar stool impatiently. Where was Rainbow Dash anyway?

I glanced nervously at the bartender, who stared at me expectantly with a stare that bordered on suspicion. I looked down and pretended to look at the menu again. I would have bought something, but I really, really didn’t want to waste the only money I had on seven bit crackers. I put my hoof to my chin as if considering something and glanced at the door.

Finally, the door opened, and a cyan pegasus pony stepped in. It might have been the rainbow-colored mane and the rainbow-striped lightning bolt on her flank, or it might have been the way she rolled her eyes and glared at me like she was annoyed that I had managed to find my way here, but something about her told me this was Rainbow Dash. I waved at her. She might not have been glad that I was here, but I sure was glad that she was here. The bartender had looked like she was about to kick me out.

Rainbow Dash walked to me, a sneer affixed to her face like it was her natural expression. “So you can open your eyes,” she commented, jerking with her head for me to follow her. I got up. She stared at my face for a moment, before turning away. “Freaky glowing eyes? I can see why you keep ‘em closed.” I stood up and silently walked behind her, eyes on the floor.

We walked past a bouncer to a room in the back of the bar. The place looked grimy, and I smelled something sour and rancid and strangely familiar in the air. I shuddered. There was another room to the side, but the door was closed, and I could hear something moving around inside. I heard a muffled scream, and then some banging. I glanced nervously at Rainbow Dash, but she didn’t seem to notice. She stepped through the doorway, past some velvety red curtains and propped herself up on a cushy red couch with only one armrest. I gulped and followed her inside.

“Close the door,” Rainbow Dash ordered lazily, waving her hoof in my general direction. I obliged, gently pushing the door. It barely moved. I grit my teeth and pushed harder. What did they need such a heavy door for?

Finally, the door closed with a heavy thunk. I turned the latch, and it was just the two of us in a room with the door locked. I frowned down at the latch. Why would they make it so it was lockable on the inside? This room was probably used as some kind of criminal hangout. Either that or it was for extremely shy ponies who wanted to pay for seven bit crackers.

I reached into my mane with my wing and pulled out a flower. Holding it away from my face, I ran my hoof along its greyish green stem. I didn’t like this. Any of this. I had trapped myself with this pony that I knew nothing about, other than that she was a jerk—admittedly a jerk who had saved me from a bully, but a jerk nonetheless. Hadn’t I learned anything from last time? What was I even doing here? I didn’t owe these ponies anything. I should have been asleep back home, or singing a lullaby to the squirrels, or frolicking with the owls. I could have been—

“The hay’s your name, anyway?”

“Um.”

I obviously wasn’t going to tell her my real name, but I didn’t know whether I should tell her my real fake name or if I needed a new fake identity. I didn’t trust her one bit, but I also didn’t know what Shade had told her, and I definitely didn’t want to start the conversation getting caught in a lie.

“It’s…”

But why would she ask for my name if she already knew? Spies in movies never used their real names, and I felt kind of like a movie spy. I didn’t really know why spies didn’t use their real names, but it wasn’t like I was using my real name anyway.

“Um.”

But if I told her my real fake name, wouldn’t that just be lying anyway?

“Um.”

Rainbow Dash groaned, punching the couch impatiently. “What? Don’t you know your own name?”

That worked too. I ducked my head and hid my face behind my mane.

“I’m sorry.”

She shook her head. “Can you count? Do you know how to play hoofball?” she snarled, flaring her wings and slamming the couch with her hind hooves. “Do you know anything?”

"Stupid, worthless, piece of trash! What kind of pegasus can’t fly?! You know what you are? You’re shit with wings. But since you can’t fly, you might as well just be shit!” Slammer was screaming into my ear again, like he always did. And it always hurt, no matter how many times he did it.

I flinched and turned away, hiding behind my mane. I could feel a tear gathering in my eye and quickly wiped it away. I didn’t know why I was crying. I knew how to do all those things. I did! I mean, I wasn’t very good at hoofball, but I knew the rules. Well, some of them. The important ones!

I took a deep breath. She was just being a jerk. I shouldn’t let it bother me. She was the one saying I didn’t know anything, but I was the one fooling her.

So hah!

I sniffed a little and raised my hoof to hide a small smile. And now I was being mean. My smile disappeared.

I looked up at Rainbow Dash, who was lying on the couch, her lips pressed into a thin line.

“You done being a crybaby?” she asked, shaking her head. “'Cuz I’m literally dying over here,” she gasped, flopping over with her hooves on her heart, before she got back onto her hooves and glared at me.

“I’m sorry,” I said again. My voice trembled, but I didn’t cry.

She sighed, rubbing her hoof against her head. She cracked a smile and said, “You know what, I’m sorry. I told Gilda you asked me out on a date and I said yes, just so I could ruin it for you.” She snickered, waving her hoof at me. “I don’t want to actually ruin your night, though. We’re in this together.” She turned her head to the side and gave me the evil eye. “No matter how much you suck.”

I didn’t know what to say to that, so I didn’t say anything.

She glanced at the door. “Alright. Well, I’m here. They’re here. What’s the plan?” She looked at me expectantly.

“They?” I frowned. “Plan?”

“The plan!” She pressed her hoof into her forehead. “The feathering plan! You know, like I tell Shade everything and she sends”—she made air quotes with her hooves and spoke in a snooty voice—“‘somepony experienced in resolving such matters.’”

She flew forward, putting her hooves on my back before I could react. “You know I could get killed for telling her anything, right? Come on; gimme something to work with here!”

I flinched back from her touch. “Shade didn’t actually tell me anything,” I said, ears flattening against my head, “I’m sorry.”

Rainbow Dash pressed her forehead harder. “Shade didn’t tell you… anything?” Her voice squeaked a little at the end.

“Well,” I began, tilting my head, “She said there was a gang called the Rainbow of Light”—Rainbow Dash glanced at the door—“and they were moving into Ponyville. And one of the Princess’s protégés is involved somehow.”

Rainbow Dash was nodding along with everything I said, but at the mention of the Princess’s protégés, she stopped and frowned. “Wait, what?”

I shrugged. “That’s what she told me.”

Rainbow Dash grimaced. “Well, that’s just great. Actually, that does explain a lot.”

I raised my eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

Rainbow Dash exhaled. “Let me guess. You’ve been living under a rock and you don’t have any idea what’s been happening in Cloudsdale lately.”

“I’m sorry.” I nodded, looking down at her shins, sorely tempted to kick them. Maybe I wasn’t what she had hoped for, but did everything that came out of her mouth have to be some kind of insult?

Rainbow Dash shrugged. “Alright. Well, as everypony knows, Cloudsdale has always had gangs. They sell drugs, mug people, run rackets… You know. Little stuff like that. I had a lot of friends who joined up in one gang or another, doing stuff like that. I wouldn’t do anything illegal like that though; I’m saving myself.” She grinned, a spark of excitement in her eye. “I’m gonna join the Wonderbolts!”

I frowned. Why did that sound so familiar?

“I’m gonna join the Wonderbolts!” a rainbow-maned filly shouted, jumping on top of her desk, staring down at the rest of the class as if daring anypony to challenge her. I stared up at her in awe. I couldn’t explain why, but the sheer conviction in her voice just made me believe in her. I smiled. Maybe if I just believed in myself a bit more, I could be a better flier. Maybe if I just believed… everything would be okay.

I blinked. Oh. I fiddled with my hooves as I stared at the pony I had idolized in flight camp. It looked like she didn’t recognize me. But then, I had never worked up the courage to talk to her then. She had been such a nice pony. Well, maybe not nice, but she had never been… she had never been such a jerk. What had happened to her?

I shook myself out of my reverie. Rainbow Dash was talking, oblivious to my introspection.

“—did mostly the same small stuff. But then something happened. They got their hooves on—the griffons have this thing called a ‘gun’ that they use for war. You just point it at somepony and pull a trigger and it kills them!”

I frowned as something cold and sickly crept up my spine. I shivered. “Just… kills them?”

Rainbow Dash nodded. “Yeah! I don’t know how it works or anything, but it just rips a hole right through you and you’re dead! Just like that! They’re not even magical, so the police can’t detect them! The Rainbow Mafia got their hooves on a bunch of them about a year ago, and started making all the other gangs join up with them. Any gang that said no…” She held her hoof up and pointed it at me. “Boom!” She pressed her hoof against her heart, eyes rolling up as she fell back on the couch.

She leapt back up, flying at me. My hooves failed me as I fell back onto my flank. Flaring her wings, Rainbow Dash leaned over me, hoof on my chest, and leered. “It took ‘em just a week to take over all of Cloudsdale. They called them the Days of Discord,” she finished.

I shivered, pushing myself away. “The Days of Discord?”

“I used to have a lot of friends in Cloudsdale,” Rainbow Dash’s expression darkened as she turned away and threw herself onto the couch again. Her voice cracked a little. “Most of them are gone now.” Her tail swished, and she turned away from me. “Pretty accurate name,” she muttered.

I wanted to say something comforting, but there was nothing to say, so I just stared at the ground in silence instead.

After a moment, Rainbow Dash cleared her throat and moved on. “After that, they started taking over everything else. The police couldn’t stop them. If you want to go out at night without getting mugged, you gotta pay their ‘tax’. I quit my job as a delivery mare because half the stuff I was delivering was drugs, and the Rainbows took the other half as a ‘delivery tax’.”

She slammed her hoof onto the armrest. “I just got fed up and left, you know. Fricken’ Rainbows. I mean, why did they have to call themselves the Rainbows? I should’ve had a copyright on the name or something.”

She stood up and paced along the floor. “You know, I was gonna change my name to something like Awesome Dash or something, just to spite them. But oooh nooo! If you want a name change, guess what! You gotta pay them for that too!” she shouted, kicking the couch into the wall.

Rainbow Dash leaned towards me, panting, eyes narrowed. I backed away until my back hit the wall. Her eyes looked sharp as daggers, and I really didn’t like the way she was pointing them at me.

Rainbow Dash sighed and took a deep breath, calming down before speaking again. “Look, no one knows how they got the guns, but if what Shade told you is right, then I think Twilight Sparkle is the answer!”

I frowned at her, shaking my head. Where had that come from?

“Think about it,” Rainbow Dash whispered, “About a year ago, Twilight Sparkle becomes the Princess’s new protégé. I mean, the press wouldn’t shut up about it. Then, a few weeks later, the Rainbow of Light suddenly gets a bunch of guns. That can't be a coincidence. I think the mafia got Celestia to make Twilight Sparkle the Princess’s protégé, and in return Twilight Sparkle gave them all guns using her new job!”

I frowned. “How would the mafia get Celestia to pick Twilight—oh.”

Rainbow Dash leaned in like a timberwolf that had spotted its prey. “What?”

I bit my lip. “I talked to Twilight Sparkle earlier today. She said the Princess picked her because she won some kind of award.”

Rainbow Dash smirked triumphantly. “See? What did I say? The mafia buys her some fancy award, and she gives them all guns!”

I coughed. Well, that sounded possible. Except… “How would she know Celestia would make her her protégé?”

Rainbow Dash waved her hoof dismissively, jumping up and pacing around the room. “Who cares? It must have been a pretty big award or whatever. You go figure it out. I brought you here tonight ‘cause there’s a big meeting at midnight tonight.”

I leaned forward. “Meeting?”

She leaned forward until our noses were touching. “Out in the lounge, there’s a stallion wearing a top hat and a monocle with a book cutie mark. He’s gonna be with a mare with a silver tiara and a green scarf. Both pegasi. They’re both capos in the Rainbow of Light.”

“Capos?”

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes, turning away. “Like, lieutenants in their army. They’re the ones running the operation here.”

"Oh," I said, nodding.

Rainbow Dash scratched her face, pacing around the room. “Let’s see. There’s four capos in Ponyville, and each of them commands a group of six or seven soldiers, so that’s… uh…”

“About thirty mobsters in Ponyville,” I finished for her, feeling the beginnings of panic squeezing my chest. “Do they all have guns?” I shook my head, hoping she would do the same. Thirty? I definitely couldn’t deal with that many on my own, even if they didn’t have guns. And if they did…

Rainbow Dash frowned. “The capos probably do. The soldiers? Well, I don’t have one, so I’m guessing most of the other soldiers don’t, but—”

I leaned back. “Other—Other soldiers?” I asked, pressing my hooves together, suspicions confirmed. This was a trap. I reached with my wing into my mane. “You’re—You’re a—”

She frowned, stalking towards me, her face reddening. “Oh, don’t give me that. You weren’t there. When a bunch of ponies with guns walk into your house and tell you to work for them or die, I’d like to hear you say no.”

I frowned. I had told Shade no, but that wasn’t really the same thing. Also, wasn’t I here doing what she had told me to do anyway? I lowered my wing. “I guess…”

Rainbow Dash harrumphed and stalked back onto the couch. “Anyway, the capos are gonna meet somewhere at midnight tonight. I dunno where, but the ones I told you about do. Follow them, and do whatever it is you do.” Rainbow Dash slumped back, head settling onto the armrest. “And don’t rat me out when you get caught.” She closed her eyes in clear dismissal.

I stared at her, my lips pressed into a thin line.

“Aren’t you going to help me?” I wanted to ask, but didn’t. Of course she wasn’t.

Jerk.

I sighed. “Well, thanks for the help.”

I pushed myself out of the chair and walked away. As I unlatched the door and pulled it open, Rainbow Dash called out, “I’m gonna tell Gilda you were a terrible lay. Just so you know.”

I nodded, waving my wing in her direction like I was swatting away a fly. I didn’t know what that meant, but I was sure it was something insulting. I stepped out into the main area, my eyes sweeping around the corners of the room.

A dancer was wrapping her hooves around a stallion who held a bag of bits in his mouth. Little hearts popped right out of his starry eyes and acidic disdain dripped from hers. Her tongue slid against his cheek into his mouth, making him drop the bag of bits. I hurriedly looked away, cheeks burning.

A waitress was serving out martinis with little umbrellas in them to an elderly couple. A group of middle aged stallions in business suits smiled and laughed with each other as they raised their glasses and clinked them together. A lone plum-colored earth pony with bloodshot eyes leaned over a table, hooves wrapped around an empty wine bottle as she desperately tried to guzzle down one last, non-existant drop of alcohol.

Finally, I spotted the ponies I was looking for. A mare in a silver tiara and a stallion with a book cutie mark. I stalked closer, burning their faces into my memory. The stallion dropped a bag of bits onto the table, nodding at the mare and gathering his belongings. They were about to leave. I had to act quickly.

I moved forward, pretending to scan the crowd for a while, before putting on a disappointed expression and turning to face the bar. I glanced at the clock on the wall by the sink. There were about fifteen minutes till midnight. I glanced back. The two capos were standing up.

I walked to the exit and left the bar, shoulders hunched. I glanced around. The streets were grey and colorless, but I could see every detail just as sharply as I could in the day. Whatever Shade had done to my eyes had given me the ability to see in the dark. That was something I could thank her for, at least.

I flapped my wings and took to the skies, feeling the air rush by me as I spiraled higher and higher until finally I reached an errant cloud. Throwing myself onto it to use as cover, I looked down at the two ponies.

The two were tilting their heads at each other, unspoken words passing between them. The mare turned around and walked back in the direction of the bar as the stallion kept walking forward. They were splitting up. I frowned and pushed my cloud forward, deciding to follow the stallion. He walked forward for a while, before he glanced around and then ducked into an alleyway. I pushed my cloud directly overhead and peered down at him as he slunk through the alleyway, disappearing out of sight. I hesitated for a moment, before raising my wings to take flight. He reappeared a little way away, and I shoved myself back down, watching him.

He walked a little further, before finally he came to the edge of Ponyville. He glanced around, raised his wings, and took flight. I flew after him, dragging my cloud along for the ride.

He was faster than I was but, fortunately, he didn’t fly very far. Just as he turned into a speck in the distance, he landed next to a small barn next to a grove of apple trees. I flew closer, raising my cloud for cover. Two more pegasus stallions walked out to meet the stallion I had been following. Slowly, I pushed my cloud forward to hear what they were saying.

“—and make sure no one’s snooping. Got it?” the stallion in the top hat was saying.

The two new stallions nodded and took flight, circling around the barn. I drifted my cloud closer. One of them glanced in my direction. I ducked behind the cloud and looked around. The nearest other cloud was miles away.

Nonononononono!

“Of course. They’re pegasi too. Fluttershy, you silly filly,” I muttered, reaching into my mane and pulling out my flower. Of course they would check the clouds. Hadn't I used this trick when I was a little filly, hiding from bullies? And how many times had it worked back then? Was I still just the same silly little pushover, still using the same old tricks to run away from the big, bad bullies?

No. This time, I was ready. This time, I was strong enough to fight back. Well, maybe not strong enough. But I had a plan in case Rainbow Dash had lead me into a trap. This was close enough, wasn't it?

I placed the stem of the flower in my mouth, carefully making sure the stalks were facing away from me, and lay down as if I were sleeping.

“Hey! Lady!” the stallion shouted behind me. I didn’t move. A hoof rapped against my back.

My heart pounded in my chest as I slowly turned around. A small gust of cool air brushed against my sweat-covered back, making me shiver.

“Mmm… Wha?” I mumbled, rubbing my eyes, as if waking up.

“This is private property, ma’am. You’re not supposed to be here.”

I looked around. The other guard was looking over at us with an amused expression on his face from a distance away.

I scuffed the ground with my hoof. Maybe I could have knocked both guards out if they had come together. I had the element of surprise, after all. But they were standing so far away from each other. If I acted now, I would only be able to take down one of the guards before the other called for help. And I wasn’t sure if I wanted to hurt them anyway. Shade and Rainbow Dash could have been lying. They could have been completely innocent ponies.

I couldn't do anything right now. Maybe, if I pretended to be lost, they would let me go. But I couldn't just leave. I had to come back. I had to find out what they were up to. I had to see for myself if they really were bad ponies.

But if I left now, this would be my last chance. If I came back, they would know something was up. If they saw me again, I wouldn't have any way to talk my way out.

But then, they would never see me again, would they?

The taste of blood filled my mouth. The blood of the pony who had hurt me.

It tasted like victory. It tasted like superiority...

It tasted awful.

My stomach lurched. That was why I was here, wasn’t it? I wasn't really coming here to find out if they were bad ponies. I knew they were. Nopony had guards or took twisted turns through dark alleyways to get to midnight meetings unless they were up to no good. Rainbow Dash was one of them, and she knew they were bad ponies. They were selling drugs to fillies. They had killed Rainbow Dash's friends. The hospital had looked like a war zone. And all because of these ponies. They were monsters. And there was only one way to deal with monsters.

My hooves trembled. But that was assuming Shade wasn't lying and these ponies were mafia ponies. But I didn't know that, did I? But if they were bad ponies...

I couldn’t let them destroy Ponyville the same way that they had destroyed Cloudsdale. If they really were monsters, I had to stop them, didn't I? I was the only one who knew. I was the only one who could.

But I didn't know for myself that they were bad ponies. Not for sure. For all I knew, Shade had set this up as a trap. Actually, scratch that. I knew this was a trap. Of course this was a trap. Shade had sent me to Rainbow Dash, and Rainbow Dash had sent me here. And neither of them were good ponies. I mean, it was quite obvious that Shade was evil. I wasn't stupid. Nopony who wore a shadowy veil and controlled timberwolves and blew up ponies' homes and threatened innocent ponies was a nice pony.

But Rainbow Dash? She was a jerk, but she didn't seem evil. She hadn't been a jerk back in flight camp. She had been... not quite nice, but definitely not a jerk. She had still had that spark in her eyes, even when she had played mean pranks on ponies. That spark of innocent childishness that made everyone forgive her eventually.

But now? Now there was something dark in her eyes. There was something about the way she had looked at me when she talked about the Rainbow of Light, that made me wonder what they had done to her. Her eyes had looked so haunted. So alone. So hurt. And so angry.

I didn't want anypony else to look at me with those eyes ever again.

Bright, bubbly blue eyes twinkled on an innocent, pink face with a grin so wide I felt I could fall into it, and so pure and free that I wouldn't mind the fall. The darkness and the gloom of Everfree Forest twisted the world around us, but we walked in our own little world, and here, we were happy. I smiled, and Pinkie Pie's smile widened even more.

Something burned in my chest, and for a moment, I felt like crying.

I spat the flower out in between my hooves.

“Oh. I’m s-sorry. Um, I’m a little lost,” I said, a sick, numb feeling spreading through my chest.

I held my suddenly clammy hooves to my cheeks and looked away from the stallion. I wanted to wipe the sweat from my eyebrows, but that would draw attention to it. And then they would wonder why a pony who had just woken from a nap was sweating. But if I didn't wipe the sweat away, then I'd just keep sweating. And then—

"Calm down, Fluttershy!" I told myself, raising my hoof and running it through my hair, before letting my hoof fall back down, wiping the sweat from my eyebrows as I did so. "Just think of them as timberwolves. That's all they are."

I glanced up at the guardpony, who stared at me with an almost kind expression. But there was something in his eyes that reminded me of that cherry vendor, who had also seemed nice enough before he—

I winced as my neck twinged with ghost pain. I closed my eyes and shook my head.

“Well, Ponyville is that way.” The guard pointed behind me, his face the picture of an exasperated adult dealing with a particularly silly child.

I sighed and clutched the cloud beneath me to my chest. “Um, I’m a little scared to fly at night by myself. I hear there are bad ponies around. Could you—I mean, if you don’t mind—”

His smirk grew wider and wider until it threatened to engulf me entirely.

A crooked grin bore down on me, widening in delight as I tried to squirm deeper into a corner with nowhere to run. "Now what’s stopping me from gobbling you whole?" the monster asked, claws wrapping around me, pinning me in place.

I shuddered and closed my eyes for a moment, before opening them again.

The guardpony had turned to the other stallion, whose amused expression turned into a scowl. The guardpony turned back to me and bowed gallantly.

“Well, I can’t fly you home, but I can fly you to Ponyville,” he said.

“Oh, thank you, mister. You’re such a nice pony.”

I tried to smile at him, but it felt painfully fake on my face and I had to force the smile to stay.

He rubbed the back of his neck and guffawed. “Aw, you’re makin’ me blush. Anyway, let’s get you home, eh?”

I nodded, turning my head in the direction of Ponyville and away from him, getting the feeling that the longer I looked at him, the worse I would feel when the time came.

We took off, flying towards Ponyville.

“So what’s your name?” the stallion next to me called out.

I glanced back. We were almost far enough away that the other guard couldn’t see us. Probably. I slowed down. “I’m…”

Ugh. I was starting to regret not coming up with a new name. I would have told him my real name, but there was a chance that he might escape, and that was one thing that I couldn’t let anyone know. I glanced around, but saw nothing but grass, trees, and a single ray of moonlight peeking through a layer of clouds in the night sky.

“I’m Night Sky.”

Night Sky? I resisted the urge to slap myself in the face. That was terrible. What kind of name was Night Sky? Why would I even be named Night Sky if my mane was all wooden, and my coat was neither blue like the sky or black like the night? Nothing about me had anything to do with the night sky. There was no way he would buy it.

I glanced at him. He was nodding. “Night, huh? I’m Lambert. Lambert Cherry.”

I turned my head away as I raised my eyebrows.

He actually bought it?

I glanced at Lambert's cutie mark. Sure enough, it was a pair of cherries. Maybe he was related to that other pony I killed. Fate had a cruel sense of humor.

Maybe the two of them would meet in some kind of happy cherry vendor afterlife?

I frowned. I hoped it wasn’t too happy for the other cherry vendor.

I shook my head. That was mean. Was it mean? I mean, it was mean, but… Oh, what did it matter? He was dead, and soon Lambert might be too.

I bit my lip. Okay, that was definitely mean, and not just a little bit horrifying.

Shaking out of my thoughts, I turned to face Lambert, who was staring at my cutie mark. He wasn’t saying anything, so I turned to face Ponyville. We were getting pretty close.

I slowed down even more, pretending to pant heavily. “How about… we walk… the rest of the way?”

He nodded, his eyes still examining my cutie mark. Was it really that special? He was probably wondering what it had to do with the night sky.

We landed on the ground. “I really appreciate you taking me back home,” I said, fiddling with the flower in my wings.

"I was just wondering..." I began, haltingly. I couldn't just kill him. Not without knowing he really was a bad pony. But I couldn't just ask him if he was a bad pony. Could I?

I mentally smacked myself in the face. I needed to plan things before I just dove headfirst into them. I needed to think before I acted. I needed to ask him something that wasn't too obvious, but could get him to talk.

Or maybe I could just use that wizard magic Pinkie kept talking about?

The corner of my mouth twitched up slightly, before I realized Lambert had been staring at me patiently for what had probably been an hour by now, and he would probably get more and more suspicious the longer he waited.

I opened my mouth and took a breath.

"Have you ever heard of the Rainbow of Light?" I blurted, cringing even as I did so. What was I going to do next, ask if he was a member? Tell him I was thinking about killing him?

I glanced at his face. He wasn't smiling anymore, or looking at my cutie mark. He was staring straight ahead, with far too calm an expression on his face.

I opened my mouth to apologize, but he spoke first.

"I've heard of 'em, yeah," he said, all emotion gone from his voice.

I cringed inwardly, hiding my face in my mane. What was I going to say now?

I opened my mouth and dug my hole deeper.

"I heard you might... um," I stuttered. What was I going to say? "Um, I heard you might—I heard you might be a little bit more familiar with them than most."

Oh, Celestia. I said that out loud. I couldn't believe I just said that out loud. What was wrong with me?

A hoof pressed against my shoulder.

I stopped walking and peeked out from behind my mane. Lambert was still staring down at me with an unreadable expression on his face.

"Now where'd you hear a thing like that from?" he asked, wrapping a hoof around mine in a tight grip.

I winced. "You're hurting me," I told him.

"You didn't come here by accident, did you?" he said, tightening his grip.

I gasped. "No, I didn't," I agreed, pushing at his hoof. But he didn't budge. My hoof was beginning to feel a little numb.

"What do you want?" he asked.

Eyes tearing up, I replied, "I don't know."

I really didn't know what I wanted.

I knew that I wanted to believe he wasn't a bad pony. I wanted to believe he was just upset because I had accused him of something that wasn't true. I wanted to believe Shade and Rainbow Dash were liars, and that I would just go home tonight without hurting anypony. But the truth had its hard grip wrapped around my hoof, pressing harder and harder the more I talked. And it didn't look like the truth I wanted to see.

I took a deep breath. Going home would have been nice. But I had to know for sure if he was a bad pony.

"I just wanted drugs," I said, closing my eyes, "Um. If you don't mind me asking."

His grip lessened.

"Oh," he said.

I opened my eyes again.

He was staring at me in amusement. "Smooze Ooze, I'm guessing. You seem like that kinda gal."

"Um," I said, not sure what to say, "I—Yes. Maybe?"

His smile widened, and he chuckled. "Listen, lady. I don't have any right now. But come back to my place, and I can get you something that'll blow your mind just as hard. Ever heard of changeling venom?"

I shook my head.

"Changeling venom? That sounds dangerous," I said, pressing my hooves together.

He grinned. "Well, you just gotta apply it the right way, and it does some pretty amazing stuff. I can show you a whole new world, baby."

I smiled sadly.

"I'd like that. Thank you," I said, pressing myself against him as I sighed internally.

I raised my wing to my mouth, looking at the flower in it. The flower, an Everfree Poppy, was an extremely strong tranquilizer, capable of putting even a manticore to sleep with a spray of pollen.

It was kind of funny, actually.

Did this mean I was fighting drugs with drugs? Well, at least I wasn't the one selling it on the streets.

“Um, I want you to have this. As a thank you gift,” I said, pushing the flower’s stem into my mouth and pointing the flower at him.

He didn’t seem like a bad pony. I didn’t want to hurt him. But even if he wasn't a bad pony, he was in the mafia, guarding bad ponies, and he had seen me. He knew who I was. And if I let him live, then he would tell his superiors, who certainly were bad ponies, and they would hunt me down and kill me. And I just couldn't let that happen.

As he smiled and leaned down to take the flower from me, I squeezed down on the stem. The flower let out a small, barely audible puff. Lambert staggered around for a moment, before crumpling to the ground with a light thump.

I looked down at him, smiling sadly. He looked so peaceful. As I pushed the flower back into my mane, he opened his mouth and let out a loud snore. I giggled. He just looked too cute when he was sleeping. I bent down to his sleepy head and tilted it back, biting my lip until I could taste blood.

A thought occurred to me. I didn’t have to do this. I could have just left. I could have just reported him to the police. But then I would be taken in too. And the mafia could do whatever they wanted after that. I could have left him here. But then he would wake up, and tell all of his mafia friends about me, and then they would hunt me down and kill me.

I sighed. I really didn't have many options.

I gingerly ran my hoof up his throat until it was over his trachea. He let out another snore, his heavy breath crawling against my hoof like a million maggots wriggling around in my fur. The least I could do was make it quick.

A sudden spike of guilt impaled me in the chest, and I reeled backwards, yanking my hoof back so hard that I fell over and my head struck soft dirt.

What if he was like Rainbow Dash? What if he was just being forced to be in the mafia? I could spare this one pony. Maybe he wouldn't tell anypony about me. Maybe, if I asked nicely, he would just leave the mafia and we would all just go home and live happily ever after.

I looked up into the sky, and saw the moon shining bright overhead. A single harsh eye stared down at me from the dark imprint of a mare's face. The Mare in the Moon, Nightmare Moon. A horrible monster that went around every Nightmare Night, eating all the little foals who had been bad. Eating all the little monsters, like me.

I stared down at Lambert. My heart beat against my chest and a warmth rushed into my cheeks. I breathed shallowly as I stood over the pony beneath me, holding the power of his life and death in my hooves.

Warm, salty blood gushed into my mouth, filling it up with its thick texture. I swallowed, watching the light die from the eyes of That Monster, imagining that I was swallowing his very essence with his blood. He was a monster, but I was a bigger monster. I was strong. Powerful. I smiled, and the silence of the night made my heart throb in both excitement and loneliness. I had always been weak and helpless, but here? Here, I was powerful. Here, I was a goddess. And I loved it.

I looked up and saw hateful eyes peering at me from a distant memory. Fillies from my childhood, little monsters that had once stood tall and proud as they laughed and mocked me now stood silent and still in the shadows. I grinned, baring my bloody teeth in savage delight, and the little monsters shrieked and fled further into the shadows of my mind until I was left alone. All alone, just as a monster should be.

And then I saw him, hiding in the shadows, even after everypony else had left. Covered in blood, still smiling that same cruel leer. He was a monster. And so was I.

Disgust filled my belly and rose, pushing bile out of my throat and into my mouth. I whimpered, pressing my hooves to my forehead as the world shook around me. I lowered myself to the ground and slammed my head into it.

I hated being alone. I hated hurting ponies. I hated feeling like a monster. But most of all, I hated the fact that I had to remind myself I hated being a monster. That it didn't feel good. That I didn't like hurting ponies.

I stared up at the Mare in the Moon, hooves shaking so hard beneath me that the moon itself seemed to sway hypnotically, back and forth, back and forth in my vision and I could barely think anymore. The lone eye of the Mare in the Moon stared down at me, as if silently judging me. Did she think I was a monster that deserved to be gobbled up? Or did she understand?

We weren't so different, after all. When I had been a little filly, Nightmare Moon had seemed like a terrible monster. But now, all I could feel was a hateful, disgusted kind of understanding and respect. She ate bad little fillies before they could hurt anypony. Before they became monsters. And wasn't that exactly what I was doing?

I pushed myself back up, looking down at the sleeping body beneath me, and then back at the speck in the distance where the barn had been. At least four more ponies were going to die tonight. That wouldn't change.

I looked back down at the body under me. I didn't have time to ask nicely. The other pony would wonder where he was if I didn't finish this quickly. If I let him go then more ponies would die. He knew who I was; he would tell the Rainbow of Light, and they would kill me, and then who would save Ponyville? I couldn't afford to let him live. If I hadn't messed up and gotten myself caught, maybe I could have let him go. But I had messed up. And now it was either him or me—Ponyville, him or Ponyville.

My gut twisted as I picked myself back up, tilting his neck back once more.

I wasn’t going to kill him because I was afraid for my own safety. He wasn't going to die because I was selfish or scared, or because I liked doing things like this. He was a threat to Ponyville. Shade had said she caught a pony selling drugs to foals. He was one of those bad ponies. I was doing it for the foals. For those poor, innocent fillies and colts that these horrible monsters were going to hurt. I wasn't evil. I wasn't a monster like them at all.

And maybe, if I just kept telling myself that, I might actually believe it.

My shoulders shook as I pressed my hoof down into his neck. His breathing stopped, and his eyes contorted, as if he was having a bad dream. I bent down, whispering words that came unbidden to my lips.

“Hush now, quiet now. It's time to lay your sleepy head.”

I didn’t remember where or when I had heard the song I was singing, or who had sung it to me. All I remembered was that it used to calm me down and put me to sleep when I had had a bad dream. Now it just sent a shiver down my spine and a raw pain through my chest. But maybe it would help him sleep a little better. I pressed down harder, eyes falling to the stallion beneath me. His face was so peaceful, so still. He was just so relaxed; I couldn’t help but relax too.

“Hush now, quiet now. It's time to go to bed.”

I yawned, my eyes drooping. It was time to go to bed, wasn’t it? I slumped down onto Lambert’s body, closing my eyes. Today had been such a long day, and I was so tired. I smacked my lips and turned my head, pressing it onto Lambert’s chest, enjoying the peaceful silence of the night.

Chapter 11: Plip Plop

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Warning: Rape Scene.

Dark streaks swam through my vision like paint on a canvas, as if an artist was painting the colors and shapes of the world around me. I groaned and pressed my hoof into my eyes, wiping away the crud that had collected around them and then opened my eyes again.

“Hush now, quiet now. It's time to lay your sleepy head,” a familiar voice crooned, whispering the gentle lullaby in my ear. A hoof pressed against my chest and I instinctively held onto it, embracing its warm and gentle embrace.

“Hush now, quiet now. It's time to go to bed.”

A soft, powdery smell gently puffed into my nose, making it twitch. I raised a hoof to rub it. A soft giggle greeted my ears. I turned my head to the sight of a giant, smiling face with bright, cyan eyes staring lovingly down at me from a bespectacled face crinkled with unspoken love.

“Hush now, sweetie. I’m here now,” her soothing voice whispered into my ears.

A firm hoof brushed my cheek, delicate and light despite its adult size. I yawned and wrapped my hooves around it, relishing the warmth and safety of its familiar touch.

“Mommy?” I whispered, feeling the soft, familiar contours of her hoof. “Is that you?”

A dull ache drilled against the back of my brain and a low ringing echoed in my ears. It felt like the time Angel Bunny had gotten sick, and I stayed awake for days, fearful that I might go to sleep, and wake up with his dead eyes staring at me. But gone was the sick feeling of worry chewing its way through my insides. Gone was the acrid panic that bubbled up my throat and threatened to spill from my mouth. Instead, I just felt tired. So tired.

I ran my hoof up Mommy’s leg, feeling the familiar, bony contours of her flawless, white fur. I pressed my face into her pristine, pink mane, and inhaled the dulcet anemone perfume that she had always worn.

“Am I dreaming, Mommy?” I asked.

A small smile blossomed on her face. “Of course not, Sweetie. I’m here, and Mommy’s Little Angel—” She leaned down and kissed me on the cheek. “—is right here.”

A bubbly feeling bounced around my stomach and a goofy smile expanded on my face. I wrapped my hoof around Mommy’s neck, but frowned as I looked at my legs. They were so small, and delicate-looking.

I pushed Mommy away and looked at her. She was a giant, far larger than any pony I had ever met, maybe even larger than Princess Celestia herself.

I glanced around. Everything else was huge too. The room was built like a forest, with giant, redwood walls that seemed to stretch to infinity and a solid, green forest canopy of a ceiling so thick that the leaves blurred together into a single, multi-textured conglomerate of greenish hues.

I tilted to my head to the side.

A plate of cookies and some milk rested on a table with four, carved tree stumps for legs. Though the cookies and milk were still fresh, and looked delightful, something in my stomach churned at the thought of eating them.

They were for somepony else.

A strange feeling jabbed at my heart. It was an intense feeling of longing and despair, but at the same time, it felt shallow and empty, as if I had lost something I had never really had.

Something smacked the roof above me with a muted splatter. And then I heard it.

Plip.

Plip. Plop.

I flinched and pressed my hooves against my forehead.

Rain. I hated rain.

“You’re a pegasus pony. You should love rain,” my flight camp instructors had told me, “We control the weather, especially the rain. Rain is in our blood.”

But I hated it. I knew it was unreasonable to hate rain. The earth ponies needed it to make our food. Pegasus pony magic protected us from all but the fiercest of storms. Rain was harmless.

But my hatred wasn’t reasonable. It was visceral and instinctive and dark.

I hated rain because whenever I heard the gentle pitter patter of the rain tapping against the roof of the house it would always make my ears ring, and I would get the feeling something terrible was coming, that something terrible was about to happen. And when I heard the plip plop of rain splattering against the windows, my stomach would roll around in my abdomen and I would feel like I was trapped in the house with something monstrous, and I would look at the doors and hide under my covers and pray that it wasn’t under them with me. Knowing that if it was, there wasn’t anything I could do to stop it from gobbling me whole.

I hated rain because it made me feel lost and alone and helpless. I hated rain because whenever I heard the sound, I would get inexplicably sad, and I had no idea why.

And then, as if to mock me, it came again, the sound of water dripping all around me, slamming wildly against the roof and windows and walls, clawing its way in like a hungry beast.

Plip.

Plop.

Plip. Plop. Plip. Plop.

I flinched.

A hoof pressed against my shoulder.

“You look tired, sweetie. You should get some sleep.”

I turned my head to look at Mommy and wrapped my tiny, frail hooves around her bigger, stronger leg.

“A big day?” I echoed.

“It’s your last day of flight camp,” she said, raising an eyebrow. “Don’t you remember?”

My hooves trembled, and my stomach lurched. I was struck with a sense of unease, but I couldn’t remember what had made me so afraid. It was just camp, right? Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. But maybe it would.

“Mommy, I don’t want to go,” I whined.

Mommy tilted her pale face down until it was hidden from the lights from the ceiling above. The corners of her lips turned upwards as if in a smile that the rest of her face couldn’t match.

“I don’t want you to go either, Sweetie,” she said, her voice cracking slightly. “I wish you could stay with me forever.”

I grabbed her hoof and pulled it to me. “Then don’t make me go,” I pleaded.

Mommy raised her other hoof and pressed it down on my forehead.

“You have to go,” she said, her eyes staring with a faraway intensity as if she was glaring at something behind me.

I almost turned my head to look, but a sudden flash of something dark flitted across Mommy’s eyes, and I was gripped by a sudden, strangling terror. My breath caught in my throat as I stood still, knowing with a sudden clarity that if I turned my head something very bad would happen.

“Mommy?” I choked out, in such a quite whisper that even I had a hard time hearing my own words, “Is that the monster in my closet?”

Mommy looked down at me, violence in her eyes. I flinched away from her, raising a hoof. Her expression softened, and she flinched. It was a small flinch, so small that I wouldn’t have noticed it if I hadn’t felt the tremor in her hooves. The violence in her eyes was gone, replaced by a sorrowful regret. But though the violence was gone, a glint of madness remained, and I trembled as she brushed her hoof against my cheek.

“Oh, sweetie,” she said, and somehow I knew whatever she was going to say next was a lie. “There is no monster in your closet.”

I felt a simultaneous sense of disappointment and relief, as if I had been hoping for her to say something different, but I was glad she hadn’t.

I raised my hoof to her neck and snuggled up to her. But as I leaned in, I tilted my head and looked behind me, where a doorway stood slightly ajar, revealing only darkness in the dim, flickering light from the ceiling above.

I licked my suddenly dry lips. My stomach felt sick, as if I was about to throw up.

The lights flickered.

I frowned and looked up at the lights. Had they been doing that before? I couldn’t remember.

The sound of wood splintering reverberated through the room, and the rain was getting louder. The sick feeling in my gut crept into my throat, but still I didn’t turn around.

I looked back at the closet. Green eyes glowed in the darkness of the doorway, like burning, green embers. And below them, a hideous claw made of wood emerged from the darkness, scraping across the floor like nails on a chalkboard. The glowing eyes were getting closer and closer, and I could almost make out a twisted, gnarled, wooden mask appearing like a ghost in the darkness.

My heart pounded in my chest like the clopping of hooves slamming against the ground as they galloped as fast as they could as I closed my eyes and turned back to Mommy, bile rising in my throat as I burrowed my face into her chest.

“There’s no monster in my closet,” I echoed.

A hoof wrapped around my back. I looked up and Mommy smiled at me, her cyan eyes glowing like a torch in the pitch-black darkness of the room.

I froze, shivering, waiting for the moment to pass.

Mommy’s voice cut through the sound and brought me back to reality.

“Promise me you’ll come back.”

Mommy’s voice echoed as if she was shouting from the distance, and I almost didn’t hear her. I gazed up at Mommy’s eyes, which glared back at whatever was behind me with an almost insane fury that matched the rage and anguish that had been etched across her snarling face.

I flinched back, and her expression softened as she turned back at me. But the madness in her eyes remained, and I trembled as she brushed her hoof against my cheek.

“Okay, Mommy,” I replied. “I promise. I’ll come back.”

With a crash, the roof splintered above me. I covered my face with my hooves, flinching as something wet and slick and cold splattered against my entire body like droplets of oily rain. I looked down at my hooves. Dark liquid dripped from my legs down to my hooves, staining everything with a dark shade of crimson. I sniffed, and then gagged from the monstrous familiarity of the smell.

I looked up at Mommy, who stared back at me, still smiling the same sad smile.

“Mommy?” I asked.

“You lied again, sweetie.” Mommy’s smile broke, shattering and cracking like a broken mirror. “But that’s alright,” she spoke in a whisper, but somehow I could hear her over the falling rain that roared like a horrible monster in my ears, “I lied too.”

Then the floor cracked open beneath me, and I was falling. I closed my eyes and screamed, and when I opened my eyes again, Mommy was gone, and so was my room. And so was everything I had once had. All I could see was darkness.

Dryness stabbed at my throat. I swallowed, and grimaced as the spit sliding down made my throat tinge with a raw, sickly sensation. I whimpered, and tried to stand up, but failed as my hooves shook with a feverish intensity.

A shiver ran down my body, making the fur on my back stand on end and my stomach flip flop. I felt a physical sickness, but worse than that was this awful feeling that ran through my entire body. A feeling that was akin to dread, but was so much worse. It was a sense that something was wrong with the world, as if I was waking up into a nightmare that I knew wasn’t real, but couldn’t escape from. It felt like a pounding headache that jabbed at my skull and made my pulse quicken until I felt breathless, as if I was drowning in the air.

I hadn’t felt this feeling in such a long time, but it was such an awful moment that I remembered exactly when I had last felt it. It was after I had killed Slammer, when I was wandering the grassy fields and looking at all of the plants and animals I had never seen before. It was the feeling I had felt when I had walked up that hill and the animals had fled, and I had known what had been waiting for me on the other side of the hill, but I had needed to see it with my own eyes to believe it.

I raised my hoof to rub my eyes, and felt water drip from it.

Plip. Plop.

An awful stench wafted up to my nose from my hoof, making me gag.

I opened my eyes and looked down at the body of the stallion I had been lying on. I looked down and saw a puddle of urine beneath him. I looked back up. Empty eyes stared past me. I stared blankly back for a moment until a name came unbidden to my mind.

Lambert.

I wiped my urine stained hoof into Lambert’s fur and rolled over until I was facing up into the night sky.

Why was I looking at the sky? And why was it still nighttime? I blinked and rubbed my eyes again.

Lambert. The capos.

My eyes shot open.

Oh, no.

How long had I been asleep?

I pushed myself to my hooves, tripping over Lambert’s body in my panic. How could I have fallen asleep?

I glanced down at Lambert. His skin was slightly veiny and his hooves were darker than the rest of his body. I pressed my hoof into his chest. He was still warm. So warm.

I grimaced as I pressed my face into his chest, taking in the warmth of his body. I couldn’t have been asleep for long. It was a rather chilly night, especially so close to the summer sun celebration. His body wouldn’t still be so warm if he had been dead for long.

A tingling feeling crept along my back as if something was gently stroking it. I had the strangest feeling that something was watching me. I glanced around until a glint of light caught my eye. I stared at the full moon, which glowed with an unnatural luster.

The Mare in the Moon gazed back down at me, her blank, blind eye staring uncaringly down at me and the corpse beneath my hooves.

I smiled up at her and waved.

Nightmare Moon. I had been afraid of the dark when I was a little filly. Afraid that at any moment, Nightmare Moon would come out of the darkness and gobble me up.

But I wasn’t afraid of her anymore. Nightmare Moon was just a monster from a little filly’s tale. But I was real. And I was hungry tonight.

I looked down at Lambert’s corpse.

He hadn’t seemed like such a bad pony. But Pinkie Pie hadn’t thought that I was a bad pony either.

I almost smiled, but another thought occurred to me.

What would Pinkie think if she could see me now? Would she be disgusted? Horrified? Or would she be hurt? Hurt that the pony she thought was her friend was a murderer?

Well, she wouldn't be hurt if she never found out. And she would never find out if I had anything to say about it.

I stepped over Lambert’s corpse, heart pounding with a sick intensity. Gritting my teeth, I took one last glance at the glassy eyes of the pony once known as Lambert Cherry and flew towards the barn.

A stiff breeze had picked up, biting at my wingtips with its unseasonably cold sting. A rumble echoed distantly from behind me, but when I turned to look around all I could see was Ponyville sleeping silently like a little foal. Nothing would disturb its silent slumber, its innocent and peaceful tranquility. Not if I had anything to say about it.

I landed silently on the barn roof, glancing around for the second pony that had been guarding the barn. A tired groan from the other side of the barn almost made my heart stop. I pressed my face into the coarse, cold wood.

Had I been found?

I reached into my mane and pulled out the flower. I squeezed it experimentally, but it barely let out any pollen.

I squeezed harder.

Nothing.

I sighed, dropped the flower, and flattened myself against the roof, slowly crawling up until I could see the guard pony.

He stood beneath an apple tree talking to somepony, but the pony he was talking to stood behind the tree, out of my sight.

I shuffled to the side to get a better look.

A shout sent me shuffling back into hiding.

“Hey, Flash!”

The other pony, who I assumed was Flash, snorted. “What happened to no names, you fucking moron?”

The other pony snorted back. “Come on! We’re hardly doing anything illegal right now. What, are you worried they’ll arrest us for trespassing? It’s not like—Oh, shit!”

I ducked back down, looking around. Had somepony spotted me? Or was there something else?

“WHO THE FUCK—” The guardpony’s voice rose, before he cut himself off and quieted down, “Who the fuck is that?”

I glanced around, but I couldn’t see anypony else around.

Okay. They definitely saw me. I needed to escape. But I couldn’t outfly them, because I was the world’s worst flier and couldn’t outfly anypony. And they probably had guns, so they could kill me as soon as they saw me. Which meant that I needed to hide, somehow. I glanced behind me. There were a few rows of apple trees, and then nothing but grass all the way to Ponyville. I would have to hide in the trees until they lost me. I raised my wings and prepared to fly.

A muffled, scream burst out so quietly that I almost didn’t hear it. For a moment, I covered my mouth in horror, before realizing it hadn’t come from me, but from the other side of the barn.

I quickly glanced over at the two, but the tree was still blocking my view of the new pony. I shuffled to the side, making sure to be absolutely silent.

Finally, the new pony came into view. She was a lithe pegasus pony who looked as if she could have passed as Rainbow Dash’s long lost sister, or maybe even a Wonderbolt. I didn’t remember if any of the Wonderbolts were named Flash, but for Rainbow Dash’s sake, I hoped she wasn’t one.

Because next to Flash's hooves was a burlap sack. And in the sack was a tiny filly with a bow in her mane, tape covering her mouth, and bloody bruises covering the rest of her face. Blood dripped from her nose, staining the sack with dark splatters.

Flash shoved the filly forward, and for a moment, the only sound in all of Equestria was the sound of the filly’s blood filling a puddle on the ground.

Plip. Plop.

My veins turned to ice.

Flash spoke. “This, pal, is what all the smart businessponies call, ‘leverage’. If that Apple whore next door won’t sell her farm for money, let’s see if she’ll sell it to see her sister again.”

She spat onto the ground and rubbed her face.

“And once she sells the farm, I’m gonna kill her myself.”

I squinted. A thin scar line etched a jagged path down her cheek.

The guardpony smirked and lifted the filly up, eying her up as if she was a piece of merchandise on display. “Nice! How’d you get your hooves on her?”

Flash’s back was to the moon and her face was shrouded in shadow, but even in the dark of the night, I could see the cruel glint in Flash’s eyes as she smirked down at the filly.

I almost jumped down to shout at her and tell her to leave the poor filly alone, but then I remembered that they had guns and would probably just kill me. And getting myself killed wouldn’t save anypony.

So I just slowly edged closer, hooves shaking, gnashing my teeth together in impotent rage.

“I got my ways. Filly put up a pretty good fight, for a shitty little mudpony.” She patted the filly on the head mockingly.

My teeth ached from how hard I was gnashing them together, imagining myself smashing her stupid, smug face between them.

The guardpony shook his head and sighed. “Look, I know overachieving is your thing, but maybe next time you ought to—”

Flash shook her head and snorted. “Maybes are for babies, slowpoke. Don’t you ever wonder why I’m a capo and you’re standing out here in the cold? It’s because I get results—” She raised her hoof and pumped it into the air “—and I get ‘em fast!”

“Yeah, good luck with that,” the guardpony said, shaking his head, “Monty’s dead.”

Flash’s hoof slammed back onto the ground. “What?”

“Chopped to pieces and turned into monster chow,” The guardpony snorted, “Where’ve you been?”

Flash snarled and grabbed the guardpony by the throat. “I’ve been tracking some useless brat down for no reason, apparently! What the fuck happened?”

The guardpony shoved Flash back. “Personal space, dude! Sheesh!”

Flash leaned against the tree and folded her hooves. “What the fuck happened?”

The guardpony rubbed his throat and spoke, “They found blood all over his tent, and a trail that lead to the Everfree. And then they found his bones. Picked fucking clean.”

He shuddered. “And the scariest part is that they’re saying there’s marks on his bones that look like they come from that knife he always carried around. That’s pretty brutal.”

Oh.

Monty. Had that been the cherry vendor’s name?

I blinked and leaned back, mulling that over.

I had the strangest feeling that if I wasn’t a horrible monster, knowing his name might have made me feel some remorse for killing him. He had a name, and maybe even ponies that cared about him. And I took all of that away.

I should have felt remorse. But I didn’t.

A bubbly feeling in my stomach made my cheeks twitch upwards as I turned my attention back to the mafia ponies.

“Do they know who did it?” Flash was saying.

The guardpony shrugged. “Doesn’t look like something the Royal Guard would do. Same for those Apples. But the locals’ve been saying there’s creepy shit in the forest. My guess is that something freaky came out and had a midnight snack. Maybe it’s the evil enchantress I keep hearing about. Either that, or it’s Nightmare Moon.”

“Nightmare Moon?” Flash snorted. “Where’d that come from?”

The guardpony shrugged. “Some of the guys’ve been having weird dreams about Nightmare Moon coming out of the moon and eating them or whatever. I think it’s superstitious hokey, but you gotta admit, a bunch of grown ponies having the same dream is pretty strange.”

Flash grunted. “Whatever. At least we have Lambert. He’ll be able to manage the farm when we take it from those Apples, even if—”

Flash stopped talking and looked around, frowning. “Where is Lambert, anyway?”

The guardpony shrugged. “Some mare came over, said she was lost, and Lambert offered to walk her back home.”

He sniggered. “They’re probably fucking.”

Flash rolled her eyes.

“Shut the fuck up and find him,” she ordered, “I’m not gonna be the one explaining to Jubilee that we lost both of her cousins in one day. And I don’t want that mud pony running the farm anyway. Self-righteous bitch.”

The guardpony huffed. “Lambert can handle himself. Unless whatever’s out there is attacking Cherries only—”

Flash growled, stomped the ground with her hooves, and grabbed the guardpony by the neck, bringing his face down until their noses touched.

“Focus, moron. If whatever attacked Monty took him out of his tent and killed him, when it ignored every other pony in Ponyville, then maybe, it is targeting Cherries only. Maybe Lambert’s already dead!”

She pushed the guardpony away and turned to the filly on the ground.

“And maybe I got tree sap all over myself for no fucking reason!” Flash screamed, raising her hoof and slamming it into the filly’s face. “Bitch!”

Blood poured from the filly’s nose.

My heart stopped beating.

My muscles strained against themselves as I fought to stay hidden on the roof. Every instinct I had was telling me to get down there and do something. Help the filly. Stop the monster that was hurting her. But I couldn’t. Not yet. They probably had guns, and even if they didn’t, I would just get beaten up if I tried to fight them both.

I was too weak. I was always too weak. I bit down on my hoof to keep myself from screaming.

What was I doing here? Where were the police ponies? Why wasn’t there somepony less useless, less of a failure, than me here to help?

I looked back at the guardpony, who was staring at Flash with an expression of amusement in his eyes.

He chuckled.

“Yeesh,” he said, completely ignoring the filly that was bleeding out in front of him, “Tree sap? Now that’s a story I wanna hear.”

I glared at him in disbelief. Tree sap? That was what he cared about? The filly was bleeding! She could have been dying!

Didn’t he care?

I stared at the filly, who almost seemed to stare back. But there was something in her eyes that seemed so distant, so familiar.

A stallion stared at me with distant eyes. Bloody bandages mummified his entire head, concealing the wounds beneath. But a trail of blood had leaked down his neck, tracing a gruesome scar that had been stitched up and jutted out of his skin. I pressed my hoof into my own neck and winced.

Was this what the Rainbow of Light did? Hurt ponies until they couldn’t feel it anymore? Hurt ponies until no one cared? Hurt ponies until it was normal?

“They called them the days of Discord,” Rainbow Dash’s voice reverberated through my head, and as I closed my eyes I could see her eyes, pain and hate etched into them. It wasn’t a physical scar, but it made my neck itch painfully anyway.

I felt sick. Actually, physically sick.

They didn’t care. They really just didn’t care. They really were monsters.

They would kill the filly, just because they could.

I looked up, and stared at the Mare in the Moon, whose lone eye gleamed with a pale, red light. My head pounded, as if my brain was trying to escape from my skull. My entire body felt like something inside me was pressing against my skin, trying to get out.

How were these ponies being allowed to do this? Why wasn’t anypony stopping them?

I turned to face Canterlot, which gleamed with a dull red light in the distance. The city hung from the mountain spires, its ivory towers cold and distant from the problems of the little ponies beneath its towering grandeur.

I glared at it. Where was Princess Celestia? Where were the Royal Guardponies? Where were the police? Where was anypony?

I looked up at the Mare in the Moon, as if begging her to do something. She just stared down impassively at me.

I snorted. She didn’t care.

Nopony cared.

I sighed, suddenly too tired to be angry anymore. I didn’t care if it was monstrous to enjoy hurting ponies. I was going to hurt Flash. I was going to enjoy it. I was really, really going to enjoy it. And I wouldn’t feel bad about it afterwards. Not even a little.

I glanced back at the two mafia ponies in time to see Flash pick up the sack with the filly in it and sling it over her shoulder.

“What the fuck are you waiting for?” she snapped.

The guardpony sighed and took flight, snapping a sarcastic salute at Flash, before flying away.

I watched him fly away, a small, unhappy smile on my face.

Celestia wasn’t coming. The police weren’t coming. Nopony was coming.

Nopony was coming to save us. Nobody was coming to save her.

I sighed again and pushed my hooves against my eyes.

It was up to me, then.

Me. Clutzershy.

All I was good at was being a failure. But I couldn’t fail. Not this time.

Sweat dripped from my face and down onto the red painted wood below me. A cold breeze blew past, burning my skin until all I felt was a dull numbness that made the pounding in my head seem like a distant pattering, like rain dripping down into a puddle.

Plip. Plop.

My insides were churning in my chest. The summer night air was colder than usual, but now it was so cold it seemed to bite at my wingtips. I shivered, but I knew that the cold feeling running down my spine wasn’t the cold, but my own senses telling me not to go.

I raised my wings and took off, closing my eyes and ignoring the voice of reason in my head telling me that I was a fool for having ever come here tonight. Wind rushed past my face and my pounding heart roared in my ears as I flew up, the icy cold in my wingtips burning away with the heat that spread throughout my body and burned at my cheeks.

Finally, I slowed down and gave my aching wings a chance to rest as I looked down at the ponies below me and giggled.

Everything looked so small from up here. I had almost forgotten what it felt like to fly when nopony was watching or judging. It actually felt pretty good.

Flash looked tiny in my vision as she walked towards the barn, stumbling as the sack with the filly struggled and writhed in her grasp.

“You go, little filly,” I whispered, taking a breath to steady my nerves.

And then Flash raised her hoof and smashed it into the sack. And the sack stopped moving.

Slammer stared up at me, his eyes blank, His eyes weren’t judging me, weren’t accusing me. But I wished they were. I wanted them to. Because they just stared through me. Unseeing. Motionless. Dead. I hadn’t saved him. I hadn’t saved anypony.

Red flooded my vision.

My teeth gnashed together into a snarl as I dove, folding my wings back and dropping like a rock.

Wind scratched at my eyes, but I forced them to stay open, looking down at the sack with the filly in it, desperately hoping that the filly was still alive. Because if she was, then maybe not everypony here was a monster, and there would still be somepony to save. Maybe not everypony had to die tonight.

Maybe I could actually save somepony for once.

I unfolded my wings and angled myself until I was on a collision course with Flash.

But I couldn’t be afraid.

I extended my hoof.

Flash turned around.

My hoof exploded with pain as it struck Flash square in the nose, letting out a loud, satisfying crunch and sending her tumbling back.

The filly’s blood dripped down her face and onto the ground, pattering like the first drops of rain before a storm.

Plip. Plop.

Flash let out a groan, and I leapt onto her fallen body, slamming my hoof into her face again. And again. And again. My breath ran ragged and my hooves were bloody and raw, but I couldn’t stop myself, even as the cartilage of her nose gave way and her eyes popped under my hoof.

Blood splattered across my forehead and threatened to drip into my eyes and I paused for a moment to wipe it away before smashing Flash’s broken skull over and over until I couldn’t lift my hooves up anymore.

Panting, I looked up at the Mare in the Moon, who stared at me impassively in the pale, red moonlight. I grinned triumphantly up at her and, in my rage-addled frenzy, it almost seemed as if her lips twitched up in response.

And then I heard a sharp, pained breath from behind me.

I turned around. The burlap sack with the little filly in it was moving.

I rushed over and opened it.

The little filly’s face stared up at me, eyes wide in fear and confusion. Blood dripped from her mouth and nose.

I reached into the sack and delicately lifted her out, ignoring the sticky feeling of blood slicking against my hooves. I put my hoof against her mouth and felt nothing.

My heart stopped.

But then I felt her warm breath and blood splatter against my fur as she coughed and I pressed my hoof against my heart and sighed in relief.

She was alive, but just barely. Her face was cracked and broken and leaking puss and blood, and blood dripped from her mouth. One of her legs was bent at an awkward angle, and a large patch around her thigh had darkened into an ugly looking bruise.

She needed medical attention.

Now.

I glanced around, but there was nothing but the barn and the apple trees around us. Maybe there was medical equipment in the barn, but even if there was, I wasn’t a surgeon.

Zecora had potions, though. Maybe I could bring her to Zecora?

I stared at her twisted leg and grimaced. It was probably too dangerous to move her.

Would I make it in time if I went into the Everfree forest?

I sniffed the air and almost gagged at the stench of blood. The filly would attract every monster with a nose and a craving for an easy meal before I ever got to Zecora’s. Not to mention, I didn’t know if she was even in her hut right now. She might have been sent to the Ponyville hospital along with me.

I glanced over at Ponyville.

“The hospital,” I muttered.

Of course. I just hoped it was still open.

Something rustled to my side.

Startled, I almost turned my head around to look, but stopped as cold metal pressed against the side of my head.

My veins turned to ice.

“You’re aware that this is private property?” a voice drawled in my ears.

I closed my eyes and screamed internally.

No. No! NO!

“S-She’s hurt,” I stammered, knowing that whoever I was talking to probably didn’t care, “She n-n-needs help.”

“Answer the question,” the voice commanded.

I opened my eyes and turned around.

The stallion I had followed here glared down at me, holding some kind of metallic contraption in his wings.

I flinched.

Was that a gun? Or did they have something worse?

“Please. She’s hurt,” I said, desperation bubbling up in my stomach. “Please.”

The stallion glanced at the filly and then back at me. “That filly. She’s an Apple, isn’t she?”

My shoulders shook.

“Who cares?” I wanted to scream. “There’s a dying filly in front of you! Help her!”

But I didn’t scream, because he had that thing pointed at me. And I couldn’t die until I knew the filly was safe.

“Maybe. I don’t know—” Words died as desperation and anger choked my throat and tears blurred my sight. “She’s hurt! She-she—why don’t you care?”

The stallion’s cold expression didn’t change. “If you care so much, then just tell me who you are and what’s going on.”

I turned around and looked him in the eyes. “There’s a dying filly! That’s what’s going on!” I screamed, waving my hooves in her direction.

His eyes flickered to the side.

I followed his gaze until I saw Flash’s corpse.

Oh. Oh, no.

I looked down at my chipped, bruised, blood-soaked hooves and gulped.

I looked back at the stallion, whose cyan eyes stared into mine with an eerie calmness, as if he’d seen this exact scene a thousand times before, and he knew exactly who I was.

And what was going to happen next.

His eyes narrowed.

I opened my mouth to say something, but my mouth was suddenly dry and the words wouldn’t leave my mouth. I swallowed, raised a hoof and shook my head.

The stallion’s eyes grew colder, and he nodded to himself, as if coming to some final conclusion. He raised the metal device higher and took a step forward.

I stared into his eyes, silently pleading for mercy. But then I saw it.

Cold wind swirled around my body, ripping at my skin and piercing my bones. Colder cyan eyes gazed down at me from behind a veil of darkness, assessing me with merciless judgment. And as I stared into the void that surrounded them, I knew I was staring into the eyes of death.

My eyes widened.

I was going to die, wasn’t I?

I turned around to run, but tripped over my own hooves and fell down onto Flash’s corpse, tasting coppery blood as my face smashed onto the remnants of Flash’s. I pushed myself back up and tried to run again, but slipped on the bloody grass and fell back into the mess I had made.

My eyes stung as blood splashed into my eyes, blinding me. I cried out in pain and pushed my hooves into my eyes. But that just made the blood go deeper and sting more, and I tried to stand up again but my head spun until I didn’t even know which way was up anymore.

I let out a sob, and stopped struggling.

The world spun around me, its weight crushing down on my chest. I was going to die. The filly was going to die. And it was all my fault. I shouldn’t have come here. I should have just stayed home. I was too weak, too worthless, and I had always been weak and worthless. I—

Something smacked my face.

“Stop crying!” the stallion commanded.

I let out a sob and held a hoof out blindly. “Please don’t kill me.”

“Shut up and stop crying,” the stallion ordered.

I shut up, but I don’t think I stopped crying.

Something slapped against my face and I flinched backwards until I realized it was just a napkin.

“Stop struggling,” he ordered, wiping the blood from my eyes.

I flinched again.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“Shut up,” he repeated, pulling the napkin away.

I opened my mouth to apologize again, but then I remembered I was supposed to be shutting up, and closed it.

A hoof wrapped around my neck and dragged me towards the stallion. I whimpered.

“Alright,” he said, his voice calm, and, if he hadn’t been threatening to kill me, I might have found it reassuring. “You are going to stop crying. I am going to ask questions. You are going to answer them. And you are going to tell me the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Do you understand?”

I nodded.

“Alright,” the stallion said, stroking my shoulder, “What happened here?”

His wing gently nudged my head until I was staring at Flash’s corpse.

I opened my mouth. And then closed it.

I opened it again.

“It-It wasn’t me,” I stammered, wincing even as I said it.

The stallion’s warm breath brushed gently against my cheek as cold metal slid down the bottom of my chin. The metal forcefully pressed into my neck, harder and harder until I felt myself gagging.

“Is that so?” he asked, a strange tenor accenting his eerily calm voice.

I whimpered. This was it. This was the end. I had been caught. I was going to die. And my final words, my final lie, was going to be, “It wasn’t me.”

My lips turned upwards and I simultaneously giggled and sobbed hysterically.

I wasn't a bad liar.

I was a bad flier. I was a bad pony. I was bad at many things, but if there was anything I wasn't bad at, it was lying. Lying to everypony I loved.

Lying isn't just about the words a pony says. It's about the way a pony acts. I wasn't good with the words, but I was always careful with my actions.

I would always wash myself and patch myself up with Zecora’s healing salve before I played with my animals, so that they wouldn’t know that I had been attacked by timberwolves that day. And when the ones with strong noses asked about the smell that never went away, I would tell them I had been feeding the vultures and the crows. I once I was done with all of that, I would color my mane and called myself Butterfly so I could lie about my identity so that the ponies I talked to wouldn’t know they were talking to a monster.

I had spent my entire life lying, to the point where I could confidently say I wasn't awful at it. And now, when the life of a little filly depended on me, the best lie I could come up with was, “It wasn’t me?”

No. I could do better. I had to do better. And I had the best lie of all to tell. The truth.

I took a deep breath and spoke.

“She was hurting the filly,” I said, holding my voice as steadily as I could. “I was on a cloud, and I fell asleep and when I woke up I saw her beating the filly. And then she stopped moving, and I thought she might be dead.”

I took another deep breath and turned my head to face the stallion, blinking away the pain as I stared into his eyes.

I wrapped my hoof around his, and silently begged him to believe me.

He pulled me in and wrapped a hoof around me, gently rubbing my back. The cold metal slid from under my chin to the back of my neck.

Terror twisted in my gut, and the words spilled from my mouth faster and faster. “I-Everything went red,” I said, “I don’t know what happened, but suddenly she was dead and I-I—”

Slammer’s empty eyes stared up. Blood pooled around his corpse. A creeping horrifying realization filled my stomach. I had done this. I had killed Slammer. I was a murderer.

Bile crawled up my throat and I turned away, pressing my face against his warm chest as a cold shiver suddenly crept up my spine.

“I-I didn’t mean to do it,” I said, words running away from my mouth until I wasn’t sure what I was saying anymore, “It was an accident. I don't know—I didn’t mean—I’m sorry—I—”

The cold metal of the gun left the back of my head. A hoof grabbed my shoulder and pulled me up. I tried to look up at his face, but I couldn’t see anything through the tears that had blurred my vision.

Tears. Why was I crying? I was lying. I had meant to do it. I wasn’t sorry. I was a monster. I had always been a monster. They were all dead. They had all deserved it. Every single pony I had killed had deserved it. I didn’t feel bad about it. There was nothing to cry about.

I wiped my eyes and took a shuddering breath. There was nothing to cry about. I was acting. Lying. As usual.

“Get up,” the stallion commanded.

I stood and looked at him. He had put what I assumed was his gun into a pouch by his flank and was staring at me with an almost pitying grimace.

“Go,” he said, pointing at the barn door.

He shoved me forward.

“The filly,” I begged.

“She’ll be taken care of,” he promised, patting me on the shoulder.

I sighed in relief and stepped forward, walking to the barn door.

I glanced back at the stallion, who motioned me inside. I raised my hoof, taking one last glance at the filly, and pushed the door open.

A metallic click greeted me.

I glanced towards the source of the sound and froze, not daring to breathe.

The pegasus mare with the silver tiara sat in a plush, velvet chair, holding a small, silver cane in one hoof, and pointing at me with the same metallic device that the stallion had been holding in the other.

“Given your avant-garde body art,” she drawled in the smooth, posh sounding accent I’d heard from some of the fancier, nicely dressed unicorns, “Would I be correct in assuming that our darling little Flashy Washy won’t be making it tonight?”.

The barn door thumped closed behind me.

“Sassaflash is dead,” he called out, “and this young filly here did the deed.”

The mare’s eyes narrowed and she raised the metal device.

I flinched back and threw my hooves over my face, waiting for the inevitable.

A moment passed, and nothing happened.

“Did she now?” the mare’s voice called out, a slow, sardonic undertone coating her words like poison, “This filly killed my favorite pet?”

I lowered my hooves, ever so slowly, until I could peek through a small window at the mare.

She was smiling.

I lowered my hooves a little more. She was still smiling. It wasn’t a nice smile.

Her teeth were white, spotless and perfectly aligned, but something about the way the light reflected from her face made her smile look as crooked and monstrous as the scummy sneer of that cherry vendor.

I slowly ducked down until my mane was covering my face, feeling my stomach twist in the uneasy silence.

“Well,” the stallion spoke up from behind me, making me turn around, “Killing a pony is a crime. Reckon we ought to report her to the police?”

He was smiling too. His was a muted, tighter smile, as if he didn’t really know how to smile and was just forcing his face through the movements. It was the impassive, mechanical smile of some kind of automaton pretending to be a pony, and felt somehow even more monstrous than the mare’s.

“Maybe we should,” the mare drawled, the sound of her voice alarmingly close, “Killing a pony is a serious crime.”

I turned around, and the mare was right in front of me, staring down at me with that crooked, scary smile of hers.

She knelt down and wrapped her hooves around my shoulders. “A very serious crime,” she repeated.

I tried to push her away, but her grip tightened until it hurt, and I whimpered in pain. Her smile widened as she leaned down until her breath tickled my ear.

“If the police found out about this, you’d be locked up for a long time,” she whispered.

My eyes widened in confusion.

But they were mafia ponies! They couldn’t tell the police! They were criminals. They wouldn’t… They couldn’t! Could they?

The mare wrapped her hooves around my cheeks and pinched down on them, dragging my face until I was looking into her eyes. And all I saw there was cruel, cold honesty.

“A lo-o-ong time,” she repeated, singing with a saccharine, yet malicious lilt.

My stomach dropped. They could and they would.

I bit my lip and shook my head as a cold sweat ran down my back.

Stupid! Why was I so stupid! Why hadn’t I just left when I had the chance? Why had I even come here in the first place?

A tiny little filly with a bow in her mane stared up at me, blood dripping from her mouth.

Oh, right. That.

The ground shook under me slightly, and I looked down to see that my hooves were trembling so much that I could barely stand. I sniffled and pressed my hoof into my eyes to wipe a tear away, suddenly feeling more exhausted than I had ever felt before in my life.

"The filly..." I muttered, "She's—"

The mare’s warm hooves pinched harder against my cheeks and turned my head to face her again.

“Although,” she continued as if she hadn't heard me, an almost concerned expression plastered onto her face like a mask, “I don’t think you’d last very long in a prison. Why, I dare say they might just…” She leaned in, her eyes widening in mock horror. “Eat. You. Alive,” she breathed, her eyes glinting with something dark and monstrous as she pushed her face into mine.

My hooves collapsed underneath me and I fell to the floor. The world spun around me and I could hear a faint ringing in my ears as I pressed my hooves against them, trying to block her words.

But her cold, strong hooves pressed against my own like cuffs, locking them together behind my back like a police pony.

“No,” I moaned, desperately trying to push her hooves away. Everything was going so, so wrong. I had to stop them. I didn’t want to go to Tartarus. I didn’t want to be eaten alive.

“Please,” I begged, “Please!”

The mare pressed her wing against my lips, and shook her head, a soft, calm expression on her face as she hushed me.

“Darling, there’s no need to worry,” she whispered, taking a seat on the floor next to me, “I won’t tell anypony if you don’t.”

I whimpered as she wrapped her wings around my shoulders, coiling around me like a snake devouring a mouse.

“But if I’m going to do you a favor, I’m going to need you to do me a favor. And if you want me to save that poor little filly outside, I’m going to need your help to do it.”

Her wings slid around my neck.

I flinched and opened my mouth, knowing that everything I did from now on would play directly into her hooves, and there was nothing I could do about it.

“P-Please,” I stuttered, “I-I’m sorry. I’ll do whatever you want me to do. Just—”

The mare pressed her wing against my mouth again, and leaned in until her sweet, tangy breath tickled my face as she spoke.

Her shining green eyes widened. “Darling,” she began, voice suddenly taking a thick and rough quality, as if she had suddenly gotten a sore throat.

Her lips crushed against mine.

I froze in shock, feeling her tongue invade my mouth, writhing around inside, pushing some kind of sticky liquid into my mouth. A sick feeling ran through my gut, and I instinctively tried to push her away, but her grip was like an iron trap, and no matter how hard I pushed against her I couldn’t get away. A numb feeling was spreading through my body and my head felt light. I instinctively swallowed, and felt something slimy worm its way down my throat.

The mare’s other hoof pressed against my cheek, rubbing it with a gentle, swirling motion that trailed down my neck, down my chest, until her hoof was gently massaging my wings. I let out a moan as a burning sensation spread from her hooves into my back, and then downwards into my crotch.

The mare smiled, pressing her tongue into my neck, nibbling softly. Her hooves lowered, and I felt the burning sensation intensify wherever she touched. I raised a hoof feebly to hold her back, but her hooves were seemingly everywhere, pressing against every part of my body, racking my body with waves of pleasure that swept away my resistance.

I stared into her eyes, which glowed with an eerie, green light. She smiled, and and the corners of my mouth twitched upwards as an goofy, happy feeling lit up my stomach. I wanted her to keep smiling at me. I wanted her to smile forever.

Her lips pressed against mine again, and this time I didn’t resist, letting her tongue sweep through my mouth, flooding it with a pleasant burning sensation. I felt like I was rising out of my body, like my senses had been overloaded with so much pleasure that I was ascending to some higher state where nothing mattered but the pleasure. A hoof pressed against my crotch, and I moaned again, almost blacking out from the pleasure as she bent me over until my back was crushed against the floor.

A hoof pressed against my clitoris, and I heaved my abdomen forward, spreading my legs as far apart as I could, blindly begging for more as my eyes rolled back in their sockets.

And then, as suddenly as she had come, she was gone.

I blinked, heart pounding wildly, as I stared up in bewilderment at the mare who was standing over me, smiling down at me with loving eyes like Mommy used to. I threw my hooves out in desperation, silently begging her to come back. Her hoof grabbed onto mine and I clung onto it, shivering in anticipation as I let her pull me up onto her.

My body flashed hot and cold and the world warped around me as streaks of black flittered across my vision like raindrops in the middle of the night and the ground writhed beneath me, threatening to swallow me whole.

She turned my head until her breath tickled my ear and spoke, “You won’t just be doing what I want. You’ll be begging for it, won’t you?”

A dull, blank pounding pervaded my brain until I lost what little self-control I had left. I nodded, throat too husky to reply, pressing my body against hers and desperately rubbing my crotch against her hoof.

“Please,” I choked out, “Any-Anything.”

She smiled, lovingly raised a hoof to my cheek, and then slapped me in the face.

I whimpered and fell to the floor, which writhed around me like a mass of snakes that were fighting each other to try to eat me.

“No!” I slurred, trying to push myself away from the floor snakes, but they were too strong and I felt myself slipping on their writhing coils and falling into them.

I could feel them slithering around me, scratching, biting. My body was burning with some kind of desperate fever, and I felt myself slipping through the floor, being eaten alive by the ground.

“Don’t wanna be eaten alive,” I whimpered.

Strong hooves picked me up and held me tight. I grabbed onto them for dear life and turned my head to my savior.

Mommy looked down at me, her green eyes glowing hypnotically in the dull light of the swaying room. Then she smiled, and her eyes crinkled, and I knew they were filled with love.

“I love you too, Mommy,” I tried to say, but my mouth was sliding around my face and I ended up mumbling something incoherent. But Mommy knew. I could tell by the way her smile widened until it was big enough to eat me.

I blinked. Was Mommy going to eat me too?

Something brushed against my wings, and then the burning sensation was back, spreading through my entire body with a feverish intensity. But unlike any fever I had ever had before, it felt good, better than anything I had ever felt.

I moaned. Maybe if it was Mommy I wouldn’t mind being eaten.

“Does it feel good, darling?” Mommy asked, her hoof slowly, gently preening my wings.

It did. It felt better than flying, or playing with the animals, or even hugging Angel Bunny. I wanted more. I needed more.

Mommy smiled down at me and spoke, “You really are quite the lightweight, aren’t you darling.”

I giggled. Mommy was funny. I loved Mommy.

Warm, delicate hooves wrapped around me and lifted me up.

I squeaked and threw my hooves around Mommy.

Somewhere in the distance, yet still somehow in my head, a stallion spoke, “As entertaining as this is, we still need to deal with the body. And the filly, of course. Princess, would you mind calling the cleaner? Have her take care of the filly too. If it dies, we’ll be holding a corpse for ransom. Nothing new.

“Of course,” a new voice called out.

I turned my head to look, and my heart skipped a beat.

An amber unicorn mare with a crimson and yellow mane, and a cutie mark depicting a half-red half-yellow sun reminiscent of Celestia’s cutie mark leaned lazily on the barn wall, glancing at me with a bored look.

Sunset Shimmer.

I blinked again as a fog in my head started to clear. Where had I heard that name?

The new mare smiled down at me. But it wasn’t a nice smile. It was a scary smile. It looked like one of the smiles Slammer would give me before he beat me up. It looked like the smile of a timberwolf before it would eat its prey.

I hid my face behind Mommy’s shoulder.

“Don’t wanna be eaten alive,” I whimpered.

“You know who I am? I’m flattered,” the new mare drawled, pressing her hoof against a red amulet that hung around her neck, which glowed with an evil-looking red light.

I bit my lip. Everything about this new mare looked scary and evil. I didn’t like her.

“Don’t worry, darling,” Mommy said, “I won’t let the big bad monster hurt you.”

A warm, bubbly feeling settled in my stomach.

I looked up at Mommy, who smiled down at me reassuringly. I smiled back. Mommy would save me. Mommy would make the bad pony go away.

“Monsters can’t hurt good, honest little fillies,” Mommy said, “As long as you haven’t been doing bad things, the monster can’t eat you. But you’re a good, honest, little filly, aren’t you? You haven’t done anything bad, have you?”

Suddenly, the warm, bubbly feeling in my stomach was gone, replaced by abject terror. I wasn’t a good filly. I was a monster. I told lies all the time. I hurt ponies. I wasn’t a good little filly.

I glanced up at Mommy, who was staring at me with disappointment, as if she knew. She knew I hadn’t been a good pony. She knew I was a monster.

I felt awful. I was the worst. Even Mommy was disappointed with me.

“Darling,” Mommy said, “I can protect you from the big, bad monster. But only if you tell me the truth. What did you do?”

I sniffed and told her everything.

I don't remember exactly what I told her. Maybe I told her about Sassaflash and Monty. Maybe I told her about Slammer. Maybe I had even told her how I had lied to Pinkie Pie and Zecora, that all I wanted to do was help ponies, but I couldn’t do anything but hurt them.

But whatever I told her, I know I told her everything close to my heart. And more than I had told anypony before.

Throughout it all, Mommy just stroked my wings and listened with a calm, understanding smile. And when I ran out of words to say and breath to say them with, Mommy kissed me on the cheek and whispered in my ear, “You’ve been very brave.”

And then something pricked my wings, and suddenly I was tired. So tired. So I went to sleep.

Author's Notes:

Surprise!

Yes, I'm still alive and kicking. Also, I have edited the chapters quite significantly for those of you who read it when I first published it. I had too much writer's block (as you can tell from over two years of delay) and not enough writing skill to go down the path I wanted to when I first wrote this story, so I'm going down a different path, with hopefully no less satisfying an ending.

I am sorry that it took two years to publish a measly 10,000 words. I'm sure that most of my readership has grown old and died, along with every single of of their descendants, but I hope somebody is still alive in the future desolate, post-apocalyptic hellscape that has been left behind. With that being said, I am extremely busy, and will continue to be for the next few years. Expect intermittent publications, but do not ever fear my death, for that is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange aeons even death may die.

Monster

by Eater-of-Worlds Smooze

Chapter 1: An Act of Cruelty

Chapter 2: An Act of Kindness

Chapter 3: Running Away

Chapter 4: Angels and Demons

Chapter 5: For richer, For Poorer, In Sickness and In Health

Chapter 6: Party Crashing Party

Chapter 7: Till Death Do Us Part

Chapter 8: Teatime with Death

Chapter 9: Blinded by the Light

Chapter 10: In the Heat of the Night

Chapter 11: Plip Plop