• Member Since 15th Dec, 2012
  • offline last seen January 16th

Eater-of-Worlds Smooze


I am inevitable. I am... destiny. I am Smooze and I hunger.

Comments ( 41 )

Well, can't say he didn't deserve it. I wonder why he couldn't control his descent? Maybe Fluttershy damaged one of his wings in her attack.

There is a myth, the myth is the bone tree. Outside of the Everfree and Ponyvill is a tall, twisted tree, full of bones. Nopony know how the one of a colt got there, but they have theories. And after that they speculators have theories of how the other bones got there. Some EVEN say that the spirit of the bully who first died there uses the tree to impale all living creatures that venture to close. At the foot of the tree are the bones of foxes, moles, rabbits, groundhogs and badgers. And anything else that made a warren (or anything of the like) to close to the tree. In its twisting, snakelike branches are the shattered eggs and bird bones all woven in their own nests as bones. The roots of that cruel tree dug deep, and even found rare gems and even older bones to entice those with intellect or greed. And when the parents had a workforce try to remove the remains of their poor son for a proper burial... All suffered from strange, uncanny accidents . . . All involving wood; wether a scratch from a splinter getting infected or a freak tree falling, all the workmen where injured or refused to work under the "curse". A few years later a forest fire spread through that patch of the woods. The tree was burned the parents tried to FINNALY get their sons remains, but all the bones were gone. And even after the parents passed away it remains a very popular myth. And anyone who investigates claims that they were always tripping over roots, being scratched by twigs, or choked by vines. And all say... They heard something falling, like it was going to land on them, crashing through the canopy, but never truly there... I just randomly got inspired by this story and made this up, it's kinda 5:30 A.M right now... I kinda do this stuff around now, sorry if I punctuated like a retard.

3193607 I miiiight be fucked up mentally don't mind me.

3193607

You are mentally twisted. I appreciate that. Also, the fact that you were inspired by this story inspires me. Thank you.

P.S. If this story goes further, I may decide to do a horror spin off. I'll be sure to reference the bone tree in it :pinkiecrazy:

3193550

Well, I tried to make it as ambiguous as possible since this story is told from Fluttershy's point of view, and, at that time, Fluttershy had bigger problems than worrying about a bully. Basically, my personal reason was that he wasn't as good a flier as he thought he was, and his wings couldn't give him the lift he needed. Keep in mind, he is the same age as Flutterfilly.

Anyway, thanks for the comment. It's always good to know what parts of the story pike the reader's interest.

I don't know how you did that but the story has the exact serene feeling Fluttershy brings. It is really a good piece.

Um, closer to Pinkamena than Captain Planet, but no where near that bad. Does that make sense. Of course the Demon Bunny would tell her that.

She took no pleasure in killing and since she was acting in defense of herself and others, her actions can't be held against her. But since she did this in frenzy, she obviously has big problem with supressed emotions. So far I don't think she can be placed on psycho-hero scale but if she chooses to continue slaying "monsters", I will she her somewhere around Batman. :twilightsmile:

So she's a Batman who's crossed the line, minus the gadgets? I'm totally okay with this.

Well, considering this version of Fluttershy, that guy is dead.

3313127 and I am looking forward to read about that.

I can believe that comment about Cupcakes. You have a knack for writing such situations.

No hero, that's for sure. I'm hoping she'll answer for her crimes in time.

3469795
No hero? Not even a little? Why? :fluttercry:

Aww look: you made Fluttershy cry.

Ive never written first person, so this may be hard.

I can see what this is, kind of like a bit of a more morbid mlp and psycho-y fluttershy, but it was somewhat hard to understand what was going on at times. Its just a sacrifice with first person.

I will say Fluttershy is OOC, but that is a given for what you are trying to do.

There was some odd word choosing at ine point, but nothing major. Sometimes, I have trouble reading how Fluttershy keeps jumping from whispering to shouting.


Also, is it odd that I read her monologuing in Dexter Morgan's voice?

3779181

Also, is it odd that I read her monologuing in Dexter Morgan's voice?

I have not actually watched Dexter. Though, now that I've read the wikipedia page, I do not find it odd at all that you would hear Dexter Morgan.

If you clop to this, you are a terrible person and you should feel unfluttershy about yourself.

:rainbowhuh:

The end of this chapter was amazing. Red Fluttershy is best Fluttershy. So fucking crazy. :pinkiecrazy:

4668978
Expect more red fluttershy soon enough. I've diverted my attention from this project to write a one-shot, but will continue as soon as I am done with it. (This one-shot is taking forever though...)

Thunderlane and the rest of the guys are going together as a guy group doing guy things and I’m not a guy or a stripper

:rainbowlaugh:

This plot development is interesting. I mean, to see "Shade" here... Brilliant! :rainbowkiss:
I hope that you won't rush the plot too much. It seems very promising. :heart:

My god, that's the most awesome thing I've seen all week.

Flutterwolf + Red Fluttershy = Carnage?

MUST HAVE MOAR :flutterrage:

5053266
The most awesome thing you've seen? I must have written some pretty vivid imagery.

MUST HAVE MOAR :flutterrage:

I'm trying! I'm not even a real writer! :fluttershbad:

5053438 That's correct actually :twilightblush: I was having an internal debate on whether to use 'seen' or 'read' but decided on the former because I can picture that in my head very well.

The first part was awesome, the second was confusing. :rainbowhuh:

:heart:

5056083
Confusing? In what way? Hopefully next chapter should clear things up. Or make them even more confusing, if it's the good kind of confusing.

Did you get the name of this story from the comic book series call The Darkness?

5056083 Why did you choose such a creepy avatar?

6716748
No, I did not. But I do know the series you're referring to. It will have a few similarities. If I can get the next damn chapter published, that is.

wow...just wow this makes me see fluttershy in a whole new light

Before I read this, what is the Gore and Dark tag for ?
And how bad does it get ?

8337211
I'm not going to say how deep the rabbit hole goes, but last time on Pony Ball Z, we had:

Rape
Murder
A pony getting chopped to pieces (after being murdered) and fed to animals (offscreen)
Changeling mindfuckery
Fluttershy is the main character

Login or register to comment