Twilight and her friends are given an unusual task by Princess Celestia--to celebrate the one year anniversary of Friendship is Magic by putting on a stage version of My Little Pony The Movie.
Twilight Sparkle and Friends and the Incredibly Disastrous Re-enactment Project
Rated: G
Themes: Comedy and parody elements
by Mario Rodgers
Author's Note: A short side project to celebrate the anniversary of Friendship is Magic. Extremely random. And as usual, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and its characters are copyrighted by Hasbro.
I Ain't Going To Sound Check!
Rainbow Dash squinted her eyes and stared out into the gloom. Before her stood a microphone and a section of a wooden stage. She reached out with her right front hoof and tapped on the mic a couple times. She then brought her mouth closer to it, and it hummed briefly with feedback before quieting down.
"Is this thing on?" Rainbow Dash said. "Mares and stallions. Fillies and gentlecolts. The story you are about to read today is a horror beyond compare. It is a complete and utter disaster in which, I am ashamed to admit, I took part. To this day, I am still trying to pick up the pieces of what's left of my dignity. I won't sugarcoat it for you. The next few hours will probably be fraught with lost lunches, and many good ponies will probably die. . ."
A pink hoof stretched out from Rainbow Dash's left side and pulled the mic away.
"Of LAUGHTER!" exclaimed Pinkie Pie into the microphone.
"Or at least walk out of the auditorium," Rainbow Dash added. "At any rate, let's get on with the show. Such as it is. . . Oh ponies I've got a headache."
Twilight Sparkle had her chin resting on her desk, her eyes half-lidded and her hair bedraggled. It was an autumn afternoon, bright and sunny and unusually warm for the time of year. She had spent the better part of an hour trying to think of something to do for herself and Spike, who was busy working the end of his quill pen into a scale at the end of his thumb. The astronomy calendar for the week was bereft of interesting activity. And she didn't really feel like reading any of her books. Discouraged for the lack of ideas, she had simply given up. Twilight Sparkle was finally bored.
"Wow. Is this what we've finally been reduced to? Sheer laziness?" Twilight huffed.
Back in the corner on his basket, Spike shrugged half-heartedly. "I dunno."
Twilight couldn't be bothered to even turn her head to glance in his direction. "I just wish something would happen. Like. . . even a monster attack. Or even the odd random task by Princess. . ."
Spike sat up quickly and heaved. "HUUUUURP!"
In a puff of magic smoke, a letter materialized.
Twilight finally roused herself and wiped away her drool. "Wow. Freaky."
Spike snatched the letter from the air and set to his task of reading, giving his telltale reader's cough first. "Ahem. My dearest most faithful student, Twilight Sparkle. Please gather all your friends before I send my second letter."
Twilight and Spike both blinked once in confusion.
"Odd," Twilight added. "But you heard her. Let's get Applejack, Fluttershy, Rarity, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie."
Oh! That's me! Hey I know! Suddenly there was a knock at the door!
Knock knock!
"Now who could that be?" Twilight mused. "One of our friends already?"
Pinkie Pie! That's NOT what happened!
Twilight approached her front door and threw it open and jumped nearly five feet in the air when she spotted nopony on the other side.
Spike raised his right arm and pointed with an index claw. "Now THAT'S freaky."
Twilight did her best to shake the willies from her body and then continued out the door. "Let's just get this over with."
Hee hee hee! Oh that was hilarious!
Twilight and Spike went out into Ponyville, spending about an hour tracking down their friends and bringing them to the library.
"So what's this all about, Twi?" Applejack said as she walked through the front door of Ponyville Library. "I'm missin' some fine applebuckin'."
Twilight shrugged as she closed the door after the last of her friends had entered. Behind her, Pinkie Pie was bouncing up and down more furiously than usual.
"I don't know, Applejack," Twilight finally added. "I just received a letter from Princess Celestia telling me to retrieve all of you before waiting for the second. . ."
Spike doubled over and grabbed his stomach then jumped up in the air and belched. "HUUUURMPH!"
Poof!
"The second letter," Twilight finished. "It's like Princess Celestia is a mind-reader or something."
"Ahem!" started Spike as he read. "My dearest most faithful student, Twilight Sparkle. I have a rather unusual task for you and your friends to complete, and it is important that all of you are here for the package I am sending. But for now, please listen to my words. Hopefully you can learn something from this event. In honor of the upcoming one year anniversary of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, I would like you and your friends and whomever else you can find as extras to do a stage adaptation of My Little Pony The Movie for Cheerilee's class. I've included a VHS tape, a tape player, a television, and a version of the movie's script. You have five days to put together your play."
Twilight furrowed her brows. "Friendship is Magic? One year anniversary? What in Equestria is Princess Celestia talking about?"
Oh I know! I know I know I know!
Pinkie Pie looked up and started shouting at the ceiling. "Hey! If anypony's going to be breaking the fourth wall around here, it's going to be me!" She then turned to Twilight and gave a really broad grin that seemed to unnerve her, as it seemingly stretched from one side of Pinkie's face to the other. "Well you see, Twilight. It aaaaaaaall started looooooooong ago when Lauren Faust was pitching her idea for her project called Milky Way and the Galaxy Girls. But the big, super mega-corporation Hasbro came at her with their own ideas. . ."
Pinkie Pie then spun her discussion into a somewhat long essay, bringing up various odd topics like the previous "generations", chibi ponies, the "current remake", "internet memes and bronies", the "prototypes" for each of them, and finally the show in question and what made it so popular.
"And that's how Equestria was made!" Pinkie Pie added with finality, looking mighty proud.
And don't forget to visit Equestria Daily!
Pinkie! Shh!
SPROING!
Applejack lifted up her right hoof, placed it on her chin, and then closed her gaping jaw. Turning her head, she saw Twilight had adopted a vacant stare. One hair in her mane was out of place, and the pupils of Twilight's eyes were shrunken and a little bit off-centered.
"Okay!" Twilight finally added, her volume increasing and her tone shaky and frantic. "Thanks for that, Pinkie! That was. . . uh, informative! Yes! Informative!"
"So now what?" Applejack asked, glancing back at Pinkie Pie.
Twilight shook her head. "I guess we're supposed to be waiting for some kind of. . ."
Spike doubled over again. "MOTHER OF. . .!"
He promptly belched out several objects of various sizes and collapsed on the ground.
The Wonders Of Another Universe(AKA The Stupid! It Burns!)
The Wonders of Another Universe(AKA The Stupid! It Burns!)
Twilight Sparkle stared at the strange contraptions before her, unsure of what to make of them. One seemed to be a box with a glass front and several buttons. Another one had a slot for some reason or another. All her other friends were equally as confounded, staring at the objects with mouths agape, but Pinkie Pie, without missing a beat, picked up the package, tore it open, slid the object inside into the box with the slot and pressed some buttons.
Pinkie. How are they watching a television without electricity?
Hey! We're My Little Pony! I ain't gotta explain. . .
"Shh! The show is starting!" Pinkie Pie said, shushing the ceiling.
As the ponies watched the box with the glass front, it took a while for the idea to register with most, save for Pinkie Pie, that they were watching a show, a show made of moving images. The show went through several advertisments and a disclaimer of sorts. Then the main show started up with a chipper song.
"My Little Pony! My Little Pony!" the show sang.
"Oh my!" Rarity squawked.
"Heavens to Betsy!" exclaimed Applejack.
"I think I'm going to be sick," muttered Rainbow Dash.
Twilight watched intently, hoping to learn as much of the movie as possible, eager to do a good job for Princess Celestia. As she watched, she levitated the script and flipped through it, dividing her attention between it and the movie.
"Who in the hay is Danny De Vito?" Twilight asked. A name in the script then caught her attention. "Cathy Cavadini? Why does that name sound familiar?"
Oh! I know! Twilight! You know her from being a voice actor for. . .
POMF! TUMBLE! CLANG! THUD!
Fillies and gentlecolts, I apologize for my friend's rude behavior. There will be no more distractions.
The show wove its theme song through various scenes. Pinkie Pie watched intently, humming along to the theme song. Rarity smiled and rubbed the back of her neck as a bead of sweat pooled on her forehead. She seemed to wobble back and forth between being mildy embarrassed and somewhat entertained. Applejack merely stuck out her tongue. Rainbow Dash looked physically ill.
Spike frowned and pointed at a particular scene. "Is that supposed to be me? Why do I look so. . . weird? Why do I SOUND weird?"
The rest of the show played on in relative peace, with most of the rude comments coming from Rainbow Dash. After the show ended, Twilight ejected the "tape" and flipped through the script.
"Wow. That was. . . somethin'," Applejack muttered vacantly.
"We're supposed to make a stage version out of THAT?" Rainbow Dash exclaimed, her face still pulled into a grimace.
"Oh I don't think it was all THAT bad," Rarity added, although her half-sideways smile suggested she was uncertain of her feelings.
"That's what Princess Celestia asked of us, Rainbow Dash," Twilight said, never taking her eyes off the script. "I guess we'd better start by building a stage out somewhere." Twilight looked up. "Rarity. Do you still have that stage you used for the fashion show?"
Rarity shook her head. "I'm afraid I dismantled the thing, and it didn't seem big enough for a full blown play."
"Oh. Well then I guess we'll just have to build a stage from scratch."
Applejack stepped forward and puffed out her chest with pride. "I'm the pony for that job!" She then tapped her right front hoof to her chin and looked up in thought. "Although I may have to call in a favor from my handypony cousin for help."
Rainbow Dash glanced from the "tape" and then back to Twilight. "Hey shouldn't we pen our own version of the script before we do this thing?"
Twilight shook her head. "No time. We're doing this thing on the fly, but I'll make a list of whom I think should be cast as which character."
Rainbow Dash still looked queasy about the whole idea, but Applejack placed a strong hoof on her shoulder.
"Come on, everypony. Let's get this thing started and put on a good show!" Applejack exclaimed with pride.
As all her friends departed, Twilight slumped to the ground, the odd nature of the task and the weight of her responsibilities finally catching up with her. "What have I gotten myself into?"
When Twilight finally had gotten around to heading outside to meet up with her friends, she had been studying the first couple scenes, getting ideas for character roles and task assignments. Even as she walked outside, she levitated the script in front of her, glancing back and forth between reading the script and watching her path. She studied and studied until she couldn't take it anymore.
"Ugh. Spike," Twilight said as she glanced over at the baby dragon on her back. "This script is all over the place. The pacing, the structure, it's all terrible. What am I supposed to make of this mess?"
"Well think of it this way. The movie was obviously loved by some back when it was made. If you play to a big enough crowd, odds are that at least one or two ponies might love it. Plus you're only playing to children. Just relax."
"I wish I could, Spike, but this is a task given to us by Princess Celestia. I want to make sure that everything is perfect!"
Spike sighed and shrugged his shoulders in defeat. He had lost track of how many times he had to lecture Twilight on perfectionism. With a project as big as a play, he expected a few ponies to go crazy before everything was said and done.
Twilight wound her way through town and found herself near the town square pavilion. Applejack and her cousin were building a stage nearby and had already had it half completed. Rarity was there as well, preparing some of her fabric and a couple dresses. She had a couple of her bolts of fabric and some racks out. Twilight smiled as she approached Applejack.
"That looks great, Applejack. Keep up the good work."
"Thanks, Twi!" Applejack exclaimed with a triumphant wave.
Twilight then headed over to where Rarity was hard at work sorting through her wares. Twilight sadly shook her head. "We won't be needing any dresses for the play, but I'll probably have you make up some costumes if need be."
Rarity had been rifling through her dresses and accessories hanging up on her rack, shoving them this way and that with her muzzle, and she hadn't seen Twilight approach her until Twilight opened her mouth to speak. Rarity pushed her face all the way through the rack of dress to glare at Twilight on the other side. The corners of her mouth were down-turned.
"Twilight," Rarity pouted. "Are you saying we're going to put on a play and we can't look fabulous at all?"
Twilight shook her head. "None of the characters in the movie wore any dresses, so that's the way it's going to be. This is my play and my vision."
Rarity reeled in abject horror, and she could do nothing but gawk with her mouth agape like a flap from a torn window drape. Twilight however, naively oblivious, walked away and headed towards Fluttershy. The yellow pegasus animal-lover was cowering underneath a nearby tree.
"Hey there, Fluttershy," Twilight greeted. "Why do you look so scared?"
Fluttershy almost looked like she was trying to pull her head into her shoulders, and she stared meekly out from underneath her twin bangs. "Um. . . Well, Twilight. I'm not so sure about being in this play. I'm afraid I might get stage fright."
Twilight cocked her head closer to Fluttershy. "What was that?"
"I'm afraid I might get stage fright."
Twilight inched even closer. "You might get. . .?"
"STAGE FRIGHT!" Fluttershy exclaimed.
Twilight patted Fluttershy on the shoulder and smiled. "Oh don't be silly, Fluttershy. You were a model. Remember?"
"I never had to memorize any lines, then."
A thought then seemed to cross Twilight's mind, and her expression lifted with the pride she felt. "Oh! And I've got the perfect role for you! You will be Lofty! It's great! My first casting decision! Yay!" Twilight's height nearly doubled, and she clapped her two front hooves together in exuberance.
Fluttershy, however, uttered her famous "eep" on a register so high that Twilight never heard it. She gasped out the words that were forming in her throat. "Lofty? But Lofty is. . ."
"Well that settles that," Twilight exclaimed with certainty and trotted away, unknowingly leaving Fluttershy to stew in misery.
Twilight then found Pinkie Pie, fallen face first into a large box of metallic junk and wires. Pinkie Pie was rummaging around, as was evident by the shifting sounds of metal clanks.
Twilight raised an eyebrow and cautiously approached, barely dodging a flying whachamacallit that was ejected from the box. "Do you need help, Pinkie?"
"I know it's in here somewhere," Pinkie called, her voice muffled by the depths of the box.
"What are you looking for?"
"Ah ha!" came a triumphant shout. Pinkie emerged from the box and pulled out one of the strangest contraptions Twilight had ever seen. Pinkie held it high over her head like a trophy. "I have the power!"
"Wha. . . What IS that thing?" Twilight said.
The thing that Pinkie held seemed to be an oddly shaped metal cylinder of sorts with multiple light bulbs and colored filters and spinning parts and metal arms aplenty.
Pinkie Pie turned it over and over in her front hooves, looking at it from all sides. "I haven't found a good name for it yet. But this baby will give you the BIGGEST lights display you've ever seen! The lights will be all like ZOOM! KER-POW! Swirl swirl swirl! Flash flash flash! Zimmity zimmity zow!" Pinkie Pie then looked up and saw Twilight in a state of what could be described as "shell-shocked". Pinkie half grinned. "But you know. Something like that. I just hope this thing still has batteries."
Twilight had to struggle to find the words in her throat. "That sounds terrifying, Pinkie Pie. And too distracting. We will keep the lights simple. Sorry, Pinkie Pie."
"Aww," said Pinkie, crestfallen. She immediately tossed the strange object back in the box.
"By the way, I haven't thought of a good role for you yet, but. . ." Twilight glanced over her shoulder then back at Pinkie Pie. "It looks like Applejack and her cousin have finished the stage, so we'll all head on over there and go through first orders of business."
As Twilight walked away from Pinkie Pie and headed over to the stage that Applejack had built, Spike released a persistent and extremely accented cough. Twilight looked over her shoulder at the baby dragon.
"Trouble, Spike?" Twilight asked.
"Well. . ." Spike repeatedly tapped the ends of his two index claws together. "I know you're in charge of a big production and everything, and I'm sure you're going to do a good job and all, but. . . Don't you think you're being a little too. . .?"
Twilight raised an eyebrow. "Focused?"
"Pushy?" Spike finished before slinking his head into his shoulders.
Twilight scoffed. "Nonsense, Spike. I have a clear vision of how the play is going to run, and I'm the only pony organized enough to get the job done."
"But don't you think you should. . .?"
"You want this play to be a success?"
Spike swallowed and looked away. "Well yes, but. . ."
"Well then you should trust me. Anyway, we're here, so quiet down a bit."
"Hmmph." In a huff, Spike hopped off Twilight's back.
Twilight approached the stage and looked around at her friends. Fluttershy was tracing circles in the dirt in a corner. Rainbow Dash was lounging up against a cross piece. Applejack was putting away her tools. Pinkie was dragging over her box of lights and hardware. Rarity was fussing over sashes. Twilight smiled, hopped up on the stage, and put on the tone in her voice she had adopted when she was trying to deliver her speech at Applejack's award ceremony.
"Thank you so much, my friends, for helping me with this wonderful opportunity," Twilight said, her chest puffed out in pride. "I am sure if we all work hard and work together as a team, we will have a perfect performance. But now let's get down to the first orders of business."
Twilight looked around again and frowned. Something seemed off to her, somehow. She couldn't shake the feeling that what was available to her at present was extremely sparse.
She turned to Fluttershy. "Fluttershy. This movie has a bunch of animals, and the opening scene has a couple squirrels. Do you think you could get some of your animal friends over here to help us out?"
Fluttershy kept tracing circles in the dirt and never looked up. "Um. . . Well, sure, Twilight. I could try to see how they feel about it. But remember, they're only woodland creatures."
"I understand. Thank you, Fluttershy. And we might also need music. In fact we need a LOT of music, so if you could also invite some of your song birds, I'd greatly appreciate it."
Fluttershy nodded and flew off.
Twilight then turned to the rest of her friends. They were all doing their own things, and to Twilight's eyes, looking decidedly unorganized and restless. "We're going to need a lot of work," she said, rubbing her forehead. "Okay. From what I've gathered from the movie, there are two main characters. Spike? There's only one role for you, and that's to be Spike."
"Naturally," Spike exclaimed, sounding very proud.
Twilight then turned her head towards Pinkie Pie. "Hey Pinkie? Would you like to be Lickety Split?"
Pinkie Pie made a dismissive gesture. "Nah. Lickety Split is kind of a big shot. I think Rainbow Dash would make a better Lickety Split," she said as she pointed to the lounging Rainbow.
"But Rainbow Dash is a pega. . ."
Upon hearing Pinkie Pie call her name, Rainbow Dash bolted upright and glanced over at Pinkie Pie then to Twilight. Rainbow's eyes glistened with anticipation.
Twilight threw her front hooves up in defeat. "Fine. Rainbow Dash is Lickety Split."