The Derpy Protocol: Twilight in the Shadows

by Mockingbirb


The Dead Must Wait

"I really like my life now," Far Flying said. "I have good friends, and a nice job, and...this is going to sound really weird. Bubbles, is it okay for me to say it?"

Bubbles nodded. "I love hearing it, every time!"

Far Flying blushed. "Even if she's 'adopted,' I have the best daughter ever."

Bubbles giggled. "I have the best daughter too! Even if she's older than me now. I love you too, FF."

Twilight marveled at the happy little family.

After a long pause for thought, Twilight spoke. "So it doesn't bother you, FF? Ten years ago, you just skipped over ten years of your life in an instant. Don't you mind missing out on that?"

Far said, "I think more important than exactly how many years you live, is whether you have a good life. Are you happy? Do you help the ponies around you to be happy? Do you do good things or bad things? On all those counts, me and Bubbles seem to have made the right decision ten years ago."

Bubbles said, "But I'm the one who has nothing to complain about. Not many ponies get to have a happy childhood twice. It was even happier the second time!"

Twilight pursed her lips. "This whole situation reminds me of something, though. It reminds me of why the spell we did ten years ago is FORBIDDEN."

FF said, "That isn't fair, though."

"Well, that's the thing. You two love each other very much, I can see."

"We do!"

"And because of that love...assuming that neither of you dies early because of unusual events, an accident or a monster attack or something like that--"

Bubbles said, "I couldn't bear if something like that happened to my mommy!"

"Exactly," Twilight said. "It's only natural with a parent and child, that normally one lives on after the other. Normally, a child lives for many years, even decades, after her parents get old and die. If the child doesn't, that's seen as an extra tragedy."

Far said, "I think I see what you're getting at, Twilight. I know that to most ponies, if they knew our pasts, what Bubbles and I have would seem strange. But it works for us. I wouldn't trade what we have for anything."

Twilight cleared her throat. "But as I was saying, there's a reason this spell is forbidden. Far Flying, you seem to feel okay with the current situation."

Far agreed, "I guess I do."

"And you, Bubbles? You seem to be very happy too."

"I have the best life of anypony ever!"

Twilight said, "Part of why you two feel that way is, you love each other very much.

"But sometimes, in this world, two ponies love each other, and one pony loves the other very much, and the other pony doesn't love QUITE so much. Or maybe, deep down, they don't really love the other very much at all. Or maybe they DO love the other pony very much, but fear can make the pony forget how much they love the other pony. Or how much they USED to love the other pony."

Bubbles looked scared. She pressed herself tightly against her mother's side, wrapping one damaged wing partway over Far Flying's shoulders and back. "I DO love her," Bubbles said. "You can't say I don't!"

Far Flying said, "She really does. I can see right through her." She nickered, nuzzling her filly. "We know each other pretty well, Bubbles and I."

Bubbles nodded.

Twilight said, "I believe you. I really do."

Far said, "So what's the problem?"

"Sometimes," Twilight said, "Ponies can become comfortable with a situation, even if it isn't really the right thing for them in the long run."

Far said, "Who are you to tell us how we should live? What we should want? Who our families should be?"

"Yeah!" Bubbles shouted.

Twilight sighed. "You two have told me a lot about what your lives have been like, these last ten years. But there's one thing we HAVEN'T talked about."

Far and Bubbles looked expectantly at Twilight.

"What my life has been like," Twilight said.

"Helping ponies in trouble? Saving the world?" Bubbles asked.

"It's...complicated," Twilight insisted. "I have a...certain reputation. Some ponies like me for the good things I've done. But sometimes I've messed up pretty badly too. It didn't help when I messed up so badly that Princess Celestia herself banned me from Canterlot multiple times."

"I'm sorry," Fluttershy said.

"Some ponies see me as...not such a good pony. Some ponies think I'm more like an outlaw."

"A GOOD outlaw," Bubbles insisted.

"Some ponies are more interested in the bad part than the good part. Some ponies don't even believe in the good part. Some ponies don't WANT to believe in the good part.

"And different ponies have different ideas about good. Some ponies, when they want something, find a way to believe that whatever they want is really a good thing. No matter who it would hurt. No matter who it might kill.

"There are ponies who hear I'm an outlaw mage, and they decide that I could...HELP them in some unsavory way. A few of them really don't like to take no for an answer.

"I meet too many ponies like that," Twilight said. "I guess they come looking for the pony who they think I am. Why do so many ponies think that? Why do so many ponies see me that way?"

Twilight looked down at the grass and dirt. "There's more than one spell to change a pony's age. Even Zecora knows a potion that can change somepony into a baby for a few days. But none of those spells or potions work for very long. If somepony wants to be changed to a younger age for years, or forever? The only permanent way to do it is to...TAKE somepony else's youth away from them."

Nopony else spoke.

"That's why the age exchange spell is forbidden. Because some ponies are able to decide that whatever they want is somehow okay. Especially if they're very, very afraid of death. Although I could mention the names of some vain nobles who just don't want to look like they're getting old."

Twilight looked around, as if to make sure nopony was sneaking up on them, or eavesdropping. "All of those ponies have their excuses, and their reasons, that they think an age exchange spell is okay. And in my experience, they're always wrong.

"Every time somepony makes an excuse to cast that spell, it becomes a little bit easier for ponies to think, oh, it wasn't really so bad to do it last time. It's probably okay this time too. And the way that kind of thing ends up is, the ponies who have the most love and kindness in their hearts get taken out of this world early. And the most deceptive and false-hearted ponies get to live forever. Imagine what kind of world that would be, what kind of ponies the world would fill up with. That's why nopony should ever cast the age exchange spell. Because of the kind of world it leads to. A world where lots of ponies cast that spell for the wrong reasons."

Far Flying said, "But you're a good pony. You couldn't ever make that mistake!"

Twilight said bitterly, "Couldn't I?"

Bubbles started bawling.

Fluttershy said softly, "Twilight, you're hurting them."

"Am I hurting them now? Or did I hurt them ten years ago, and they're only now feeling it?"

Twilight said, "Ten years ago, I wanted to see if I could take a spell that normally requires at least four or five unicorn mages to cast, and make it work with just me and one other unicorn, somepony half trained and filly age. I knew the spell was outlawed and forbidden, but that just added a bit of extra spice to the adventure.

"I thought I knew what I was doing," Twilight said. "But I was wrong.

"Today," Twilight continued, "is the day I prove there's a way the spell can be reversed by one unicorn mage, working alone. And after I give Dinky Doo Hooves her ten years of missing lifespan back, I'm going to burn all my notes that have anything to do with this."

Twilight's horn lit up with a glowing, air-blurring cloud of magical energy. The cloud developed a fine structure of curves and curlicues, each inscribed with looping cursive runes.

"No!" screamed Far Flying. Fluttershy leapt towards Twilight, using her wings for extra speed and power. Fluttershy's shoulder struck Twilight's, pushing Twilight out of line with her targets.

Before Twilight's spell could strike, Far Flying and Tiny Bubbles vanished in a bright flash of light.

Twilight snorted. "Ha," she said, "I never even thought to ask whether grown-up Dinky had learned the teleportation spell. Although not a lot of ponies can teleport themselves AND another pony, especially on short notice."

"Not such short notice," Fluttershy said. "I think she could guess well ahead of time what you were going to do."

"I never should have done it," Twilight said.

"Never should have done what?" Fluttershy asked.

"I never should have cast the age exchange spell in the first place. I should have found another way."

Fluttershy gently nuzzled Twilight. "Maybe that's true. But now it's ten years too late to be able to make that choice."

"I guess you're right, 'Shy. All I could do today, if I cast the reversal spell, is mess up the new lives those ponies spent the last ten years building. I looked at a mistake I'd made ten years ago, and I wanted to fix it, but all I was able to do was try to make another mistake that would make things worse."

Twilight pressed her face into Fluttershy's shoulder. "Why can't I do anything right? Why can I only make one mistake after another?" Twilight bawled.

Fluttershy slowly, gently wrapped her unicorn friend in her wings.

"AAAEE!" Twilight screamed. "And now I remember how Celestia used to embrace me with her wings. I miss being an innocent little foal who didn't know how I was going to mess everything up! When Celestia and I could just love each other, and not know how I was going to turn everything into smashed horseapples!"

Fluttershy said gently, "To be fair, the misunderstanding between you and Celestia about how you were supposed to handle Nightmare Moon? That WAS NOT all your fault, Twi."

Twilight sniffled. For a moment, she grimaced. "One pony can screw up in a big way. But maybe a mistake so very big takes at least two ponies to do." Twilight's right foreleg wrapped around Fluttershy's shoulders, as she cried into her friend's mane.

"It did," Fluttershy said. "Don't be greedy and take all the blame for yourself, when there's plenty to go around." She gently patted Twilight's shoulder with one forehoof. "Twi, you said you miss when you and Celestia could just love each other. Is that really over?"

Twilight said, "Deep inside, we still love each other. We love each other very much. And every time we see each other, it breaks our hearts. We remember Luna's sister, trapped in the moon for another thousand years. We remember how the last thing Luna saw in this world was the return and recovery team, working under a tragic misunderstanding, dooming her to another thousand years of exile, separating her from the sister who loved her so much."

Fluttershy patted Twilight's shoulder. "It IS tragic. Separating Luna from somepony who loves her so much. Not letting them get back together for another thousand years."

Twilight said bitterly, "We should count our blessings. Now it's only nine hundred and eighty years."

"Thank you for reminding me," Fluttershy said. "Even what we feel are our worst mistakes, don't necessarily last forever."

"I feel it might as well. Nine hundred and eighty years still feels a lot like forever to me."

"Yes," Fluttershy remarked. "It would be a shame if Celestia had to be apart from somepony she loves so much, forever."

Twilight raised her face, looking Fluttershy in the eyes. "I think I know what you're trying to get at. Celestia and I love each other. Why can't we be happy together? Why does our friendship have to be torn up like this? Why are we so damaged?"

Fluttershy said, "When was the last time you spoke to Celestia? When was the last time you saw her?"

Twilight sighed, looking down. "It's been years."

"Does that mean, you don't know how many?"

"The last time we really TALKED much...was before the wedding."

"Which wedding?"

"The one where Chysalis had taken Cadance's place."

Fluttershy nodded. "The wedding you had to miss. Because you'd been banished from Canterlot again."

Twilight snorted. "Yes, that one. But at least I got to miss out on the sight of my brother marrying a changeling queen. To this day, there are some things about that wedding nopony has told me."

Fluttershy shuddered a small, delicate shudder. "Oh, you wouldn't have enjoyed it. Trust me."

"Always," Twilight said.

Fluttershy gently touched Twilight's shoulder. "But I know before the wedding wasn't the last time you had a chance to see Celestia."

"True," Twilight replied. "I was in Canterlot again six months later."

Fluttershy nodded. "I remember how you came to rescue us. At the head of a makeshift, ragtag army. You must have been the bravest and most stubborn ponies in Equestria. When Chrysalis had held all the princesses of Equestria prisoner in Canterlot for six months, and controlled the sun and the moon...those stubborn ponies still believed Equestria hadn't lost the war."

Twilight smiled. "Not only ponies. Some griffons, a few dragons, some other creatures. Ponies aren't the only creatures who can be very stubborn. Ponies aren't the only creatures who can hold on to hope."

Fluttershy laughed. "I still remember how funny it was when those Diamond Dogs tunneled up out of the ground into our prison cells, and Rarity was so very happy to see them. You should have seen how many times she kissed them."

"Well," Twilight said dryly, "I would have liked to see that. But I WAS kind of busy elsewhere."

"Yes." Fluttershy nodded. "You had a lot of things going on. I hear that to distract the changelings from the secret raid to rescue the princesses, you attacked above ground so hard you destroyed half the buildings in Canterlot."

Twilight looked grim. "And many of Canterlot's nobles will never forgive me. Especially the ones who were IN those buildings at the time. And the ones with relatives who were hurt, or killed, when their towers collapsed."

Fluttershy said angrily, "Most of the nobles and other ponies who were permitted above ground in the later months of the occupation, were ponies who were collaborating with the changelings by then!"

"That might be," Twilight said. "But not all of them. Some of the ponies who were hurt were innocent. Some of them were just ponies who the changelings thought were too unimportant to keep locked up all the time. And I could mention the names of a few ponies who were playing a double game, trying to make a show of collaborating with the changelings, while secretly helping the resistance. Without their help, the war would have gone a lot worse. A lot more ponies would have...well, it could have been very bad."

"You say you COULD mention their names," Fluttershy said. "But you don't."

Twilight said fiercely, "I have no right to reveal who they were. Because if things ever get that bad again, we'll need their help. I can't blow their cover. Not even now."

Fluttershy remarked, "Rarity spends a lot of time with high Canterlot society. She tells me some nobles brag about how they were big in the resistance."

"Yes," Twilight said dryly. "Some nobles can talk very big, can't they? They can brag as much as they want, and be perfectly safe, if the changelings KNOW that they're lying. If the changelings have good enough reason to believe that a noble has always been on the changelings' side, and that the noble is on their side even now."

Fluttershy said, "The way you talk...the things you imply. It's no wonder that some nobles hate you so much. That they say such things about you. That some of them spread such nasty rumors about you."

Twilight said, "Maybe some of how I talk is a bad habit."

"Maybe it is. Twilight, you talk like an old soldier, not like an old diplomat. But I guess that's part of what I love about you."

"Maybe I do," Twilight said, "But I think more often I talk like an old spy. Or an old special agent."

Fluttershy snorted a small, delicate snort. "Twilight, if you talk like an old spy...that covers a lot of ground. I imagine a spy in the field might talk like...almost anypony, if that's what it takes to do the job. Is there anything...anypony...you DON'T ever talk like?"

Twilight nodded. "Earlier, you and I were talking about that. About how I don't talk like somepony who's on comfortable terms with Celestia."

Fluttershy said, "Considering all you've done for her, it's funny that I've talked to Celestia so much more recently than you have. I don't think you understand how grateful she is to you."

"She's a monarch. She understands her duties. No matter how much the sight of my face hurts her. Officially, she has to be very grateful. She sent me a very gracious letter, along with my war medals."

"She should have summoned you to receive them in person!"

"I guess I never mentioned that...never wanted to mention that. She did summon me. I refused to go."

Fluttershy looked angry. "Why didn't you go?"

"If I went," Twilight said, "It would only remind us of so much. Not only the Nightmare Moon disaster, and Celestia's sister trapped in the moon for another thousand years. But also of how I'd gone off half-cocked, and failed to show her the truth about Chrysalis. And she'd have to remember how when I'd told her the truth, she hadn't believed me.

"And remember that I was a VERY big name in the war. Celestia would have been expected to have a huge award ceremony. The largest possible hall. Thousands of nobles. Many of them still very angry at me. The most treacherous nobles being the angriest.

"And, Fluttershy...with all that I remind Celestia of...what if my presence, seeing me so close up, were to make Celestia break down and cry, in front of those thousands of nobles? I don't like to even think about the worst thing that might happen."

Fluttershy said, "The worst thing that might happen? Let's talk about that."

"I don't--"

"Twilight, you know that you're getting older."

"There are days," Twilight said, "when I find myself reminded."

"And have you even thought about your lifestyle? It seems like you rush into danger as often as possible. The way some ponies go to the mailbox."

"That's not true," Twilight said. "Most ponies don't check the mail on Sundays."

Fluttershy tried to stifle her laugh, but failed. "Twilight, we could have some long talks about why you do that. But I'm not sure whether you'll get yourself killed first."

"Equestria needs me."

"Equestria existed for thousands of years before you. And it will probably still be here long after you're gone. And in the meantime? Maybe Equestria needs you alive instead of dead."

Twilight took a deep breath. "So let's see...if we were making a checklist of things to do, what would go on it? One, think about why I don't live a safer life. Two, try to get back together with Celestia. Are we done?"

Fluttershy gave Twilight a critical look. "One, making a list isn't the same as doing the things on it. Two, the way you phrased some of those items is...very incomplete. Three, this is one time you might ask ME what I think is most urgent."

"Okay. What do you think is most urgent?"

"If you're worried about Celestia's feelings? Yes, the next time she sees you, she's going to cry. And you might cry too. But I think most of all, it will be because each of you will be reminded of how much you miss each other. How much you've been missing out on, by not talking to each other all these years. Just a guess."

Twilight said, "Isn't a professional counselor supposed to just gently help the client figure things out for themself? Not TELL them stuff?"

"You're right, Twilight. That is what a professional counselor is supposed to do. I'm guessing you've read a book or two about that."

Twilight nodded.

"But I am NOT your professional counselor. When it comes to you and Celestia, I am your friend. And I am biased. And in this case, I am in a hurry."

Twilight said, "Now we're getting to the point. WHY are you in a hurry?"

Fluttershy chirped a few notes of birdsong.

"Flutters, I don't speak bird."

"Twi, there's a very pretty shrub about three hundred hooves directly behind you, that I don't think you saw when you came here. And I am being very literal about whether you saw it."

"You don't think I saw--" In one swift move, Twilight stepped sideways and spun 180 degrees. A beam of energy shot from her horn and blasted a flower-covered bush. The bush shrank into a burnt changeling corpse.

"Thanks, 'Shy."

The pegasus now hovering in the air uncovered her eyes. "Is it over?" she asked. "Sorry, but I don't like how the flash can make me feel half blind for a minute."

Twilight was practicing her changeling detection spell. "I don't see any other changelings. Do you see anything else we should worry about?"

"I think we're okay." Fluttershy reached into a saddlebag beside her, and threw a few hoof-fuls of birdseed. Birds of different types descended from the sky and hopped around, eating their fill.

"So," Fluttershy said, "as I was saying before we were interrupted. I'm in a hurry, because three months ago, Celestia needed to talk to you."

"Ah," Twilight said. "In Canterlot?"

"Canterlot would be good. But now it's three months later. She needs to speak with you URGENTLY."

"About what?"

Fluttershy gave Twilight a frustrated look. "I don't think I can properly explain it. But Celestia can."

"I see. Or I guess I WILL see."

Fluttershy said, "Do you still remember that spell that gives you those beautiful butterfly wings?"

"I think you mean the RIDICULOUS butterfly wings."

Fluttershy gave her head a little shake. "I mean beautiful. If we fly across the river and southeast, we can get to a high speed train line. From there we can get to Canterlot by normal transit. Or improvise if we find anything faster."

Magic swirled around Twilight. "Let's see," the unicorn said. "Cloud-walking spell. Untriggered quick trigger weight reduction spell, in case of a wing problem. Anything else you think I might need?"

Fluttershy said, "Wings might be nice."

A cloud of glowing magical energy grew around Twilight's horn. The magic spread out, gradually surrounding Twilight. After a minute, the glow faded, as butterfly wings sprouted from Twilight's shoulders. Twilight flapped her wings, rising above the grass.

"Great," Fluttershy said. "Now remember, I'm a certified sports coach, and flight training expert. So if you listen to me, you'll be flying noticeably faster by the time we reach the train station."

Twilight looked at the sun's position, and started flying southeast with Fluttershy alongside her. "I can hardly wait to start learning," Twilight replied.

Author's Note

I had a difficult time deciding how to tag this story. If you have any thoughts on that, you know where the comment box is?

This story should make sense on its own. But technically it's a sequel to "Family on the Run (Derpy the Fugitive.)" So if you want a prequel, or just something shorter but kind of similar, you know where to look.

A GREAT IDEA about how an AU Fluttershy learned to fly even faster than Rainbow Dash was in MagnetBolt's "Ask Not the Sparrow," and the idea is MUCH too good not to credit and use as an AU fanon option. It should be AU fanon that more alternate universes MIGHT have Fluttershys who can do that! (That is, if it doesn't cause Rainbow Dash to turn into a burned-out gym teacher who gets fat sitting on her plot all day showing movies to bored foals about how ten out of twelve food groups are just hay and more hay. Warning: MagnetBolt could make a pretty good case that in adapting her idea I totally missed the point, shipped dogs and cats together, etc.)

The bit about how monarch butterflies do what they do...well, you can look it up in our world (or can you?) but with Equestrian magic some key details might be different.

But to be fair, I borrowed the monarch butterfly thing from a friend who can decode
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(As usual, because I want the Author's Note to be included if someone downloads this story as text, my Author's Note is in the end of the story text itself.)