A Human Song

by Element of Power


A Human Song

Another day of nothing. Rick laid in his bed, staring up at the ceiling. He did this every morning, taking at least ten minutes to do this before getting up. He needed to after the dreams he has every night. They were always memories, happy ones from his time on Earth, his parents, family, love, and the almost completed 'big day'. Now, he's here, in this backwards, cartoony world of ponies.

Luckily, the pony princess called Luna, said she couldn't see his dreams because he wasn't from here. That was perfectly fine with him. Even if she was lying and couldn't 'dreamwalk', he wouldn't want others seeing his memories, since they were one of the only things keeping him going.

The other thing was what his body went through. Since this world supposedly had 'magic' or whatever, it changed his body, making him capable of magic like a unicorn's, except controlling it with his mind rather than an extremity. Though he hated being here, that made it worthwhile, since he could do things that were impossible at home. Like making a barrier so he could sulk in peace. The true might of his powers.

Finally ready, Rick got up, moving slowly with lack of motivation. He trudged through the house, making a bowl of cereal, sitting on the couch, eating, and staring at the wall where there usually would be a TV. If he was home. Instead, he's got a poorly drawn picture of a football game taped to the blank wall.

'Just another day in Equestria.', he thought.


Through the window, they saw Rick once again staring at the wall.

"I don't get it..." Pinkie sadly said. "No matter what I do, every day he's always sad and frowning."

Celestia looked down to her. "It's okay. we have to remember that he isn't from here, and, he isn't even a pony. We don't know what he is feeling, but that doesn't mean that we can't do something about it."

Applejack reared up. "That's right Princess! If anypony can git 'im ta cheer up, we can!"

"That's great. Now" Celestia looked back into the window. "I have a plan."

An hour later, Rick was trudging through town next to them, while they all shared glances at him. Then they arrived at a restaurant. It was just opened, and they decided to have a karaoke night. This was their plan.

Once inside, they walked up the desk. The waiter pony looked up and saw Celestia. Sweating and stammering, she quickly said "This way please!" and ran over to an empty booth. They all followed, with Rick in the back. Once seated, they all ordered, while Rick just asked for a water.

They all sat around, waiting for their food, while staring at Rick. He didn't even seem fazed. He just stared straight ahead and ignored everything with a slight frown. Celestia cleared her throat. 'Time for the next step.' she thought.

She looked over at the stage, where ponies were going up and singing songs, some good, some bad. "Rick, why don't you go up and sing."

"No." She was afraid of this, but expected it.

"Are you sure?"

"No."

"Well, if you go up and sing a song, you can leave right after."

Rick had no response.

Time for the big one. "And, I can also use some magic to make any one thing from your old world."

At this he widened his eyes. She had a determined look on her face, while the rest of them were also in shock. They might get to see other stuff from his world.

Suddenly, he huffed angrily, and stood up, making his way over to the stage.

"Perfect! He's going to sing! This will surely bring his spirits up, especially since all the songs on the list are nice and happy!" They all cheered in agreement.


'Stupid Celestia bribing me. Can't say it didn't work though. This was probably her plan.

Rick got up on stage, and the crowd suddenly cheered for him. The Princesses wishes, no doubt. He looked down at the list of songs, and recognized all of them from when Vinyl and Octavia were showing him their worlds songs. They were all cheery songs. It seemed like those were the only kinds of songs they had. 'Time to blow some minds.'

"These songs are terrible." Every pony in the room got quiet. He noticed Celestia staring at him.

"I would rather sing a song from my world..." he pulled out his phone, and used his 'magic' to connect it to the pony speakers.

Once again, everyone cheered, except it was because they were going to hear a human song.

He scrolled down, and locked eyes with the perfect song. Heathens. Clicking play, he went to the center of the stage, as the lights dimmed. For the first time since he had been here, he smiled. It wasn't a smile of happiness, it was one of sick humor, thinking about the ponies future reaction.

All eyes locked on him, then the song began.

"All my friends are heathens, take it slow..."

Celestia and the rest of the group seemed surprised at his voice. They hadn't expected his to be a good singer.

"Wait for them to ask you who you know...
Please don't make any sudden moves...
You don't know the half of the abuse..."

At the next line, he sent out a shockwave of blue, cloudy magic.

"All my friends are heathens, take it slow.
Wait for them to ask you who you know.
Please don't make any sudden moves.
You don't know the half of the abuse."

A chair appeared behind him, and he sat down.

"Welcome to the room of people
Who have rooms of people that they loved one day
Docked away"

A pistol appearing in front of him, before poofing away in a smoky cloud.

"Just because we check the guns at the door
Doesn't mean our brains will change from hand grenades"

He pulled a grenade from his head, before throwing it behind him and exploding in more blue mist.

On both sides, a black, blurry, smoky image of a human outline appeared, frozen.

"You're lovin' on the psychopath sitting next to you
You're lovin' on the murderer sitting next to you
You'll think, 'How'd I get here, sitting next to you?'
But after all I've said, please don't forget"

Suddenly, three clones of Rick appeared, all playing different things, and singing with him.

"All my friends are heathens, take it slow
Wait for them to ask you who you know
Please don't make any sudden moves
You don't know the half of the abuse"

He looked at a random pony in the crowd.

"We don't deal with outsiders very well
They say newcomers have a certain smell
Yeah, trust issues, not to mention
They say they can smell your intentions"

Said pony started to sweat before taking off to take care of some... business.

"You're lovin' on the freakshow sitting next to you
You'll have some weird people sitting next to you
You'll think "How did I get here, sitting next to you?"
But after all I've said, please don't forget"

A clone spoke up, in a deep voice.

"Watch it."

The instrumentals picked up.

"Watch it."

"All my friends are heathens, take it slow
Wait for them to ask you who you know
Please don't make any sudden moves
You don't know the half of the abuse"

Rick stopped, and the clones picked up, while he became wreathed in blue mist, obscuring him from view.

"All my friends are heathens, take it slow
Watch it
Wait for them to ask you who you know
Watch it
All my friends are heathens, take it slow
Watch it
Wait for them to ask you who you know
Watch it

They stopped, and from inside the mist Rick sang out.

"Why'd you come, you knew you should have stayed"

A black hoof came into view.

"I tried to warn you just to stay away"

Then the mist blue away, and there stood Rick, but not as himself. He was a pony, a black and blue alicorn with red eyes.

"And now they're outside ready to bust
It looks like you might be one of us"

He ended with his massive wings spread out. The whole restaurant was silent. He walked off stage, and made his way to Celestia. Before, he was just a bit shorter than her, but in this form, he was taller than her.

As she got right up to her, she blushed at seeing another alicorn. He evenly spoke in a monotone voice and said, "I'm leaving now, and I would like a TV, PS4, a buttload of PS4 games, and an online connection to Earth."

He reverted back to his human state, before walking out and going home, smirking to himself. Even if he didn't want to admit it, that had been the best night he had since coming to Equestria.

He got home, opening the door and slumping down. Then he looked up, and saw a TV PS4, and a pile of games. Finally, true happiness. He finally made a genuine smile.