Elixir Master

by Pen Stroke

Discord's Solution

Twilight felt the snap. Her ears rang and her head swam. It was like she was suddenly dragged deep underwater by the violent crash of an ocean wave. She tumbled and spun, her mind desperately trying to regain its equilibrium. The sensation then began to fade, disappearing as quickly as it came… and as it did… Twilight began to hear something.

“Yes, the unthinkable has happened! We have a tie!”

Twilight opened her eyes, and the world was full of color again. The audience was cheering, waving their flags. Every sound and sight rushed into Twilight and made her jump for joy, and as she did, Twilight felt the air gently slipping over her wings. She looked down at her hooves just to be sure, but when she saw the familiar purple coat, she knew they were successful. She was back in her own head, and they had finished the third round of Discord’s contest.

“Twilight!”

Looking up, Twilight saw Celestia rushing towards her with Starlight and Starswirl following in her wake. “Are you all right? We saw the temporal bubbles collapse, and then suddenly the six of you were in the center of the stage.”

“And why is there a runic spell foundation painted on the floor?” Starswirl asked as he looked down at the lines and symbols of red paint.

Twilight chuckled, unable to remove the grin from her face. “It’s a long story,” she said before looking over to where she had been standing in Trixie’s body moments ago. “Trixie, are you all right?”

Trixie was laying flat on the floor, legs sticking up in the air as she just stared at the ceiling. Trixie did, however, raise her hoof and gave a general positive gesture. “The Great and Powerful Trixie is no longer Princessly… and has a bad headache.”

“Sorry, we’ll get you some medicine for that,” Twilight said before turning to look at the red lab. Zecora, Meadowbrook, Fluttershy, and Pinkie were all rushing out towards the center of the stage, though Discord was quick to appear and snatch up the two competing potion makers.

“Yes, mares and gentlecolts. In this head-to-head round, against the devastating difficulty of the I.M.B.E.C.I.L.E disease, our two world-class potion makers decided, for the sake of their patient, it was better to work together. In light of the cooperation they demonstrated, I am proud to announce that this contest will end right now, and they shall both be crowned the Elixir Master!”

Twilight felt her smile grow. Oh, she wanted to chew Discord out so bad, but… then she looked and saw Meadowbrook and Zecora. They, at first, looked just as irritated, but then they began to smile. The crowd was cheering for them, chanting for them, as if celebrating not only the competition but their repaired friendship. As the pair stood, held aloft by Discord’s open palms, they began waving at the crowd. They were no longer rivals, and Twilight liked to think that, after all this, the friendship that had been forged was built to last.

“And let’s not forget to give a round of applause for our judges and our patients,” Discord said, his voice booming above the crowd. With a snap of the spines on his tail, Discord’s magic quickly reshuffled the stage. The potion labs disappeared, and Twilight suddenly found herself standing between Celestia and Trixie. She, Celestia, Starswirl, Starlight, Trixie, two copies of Rarity, and two trees had been arranged in a circle in the very center of the coliseum stage.

“Well, it would be rude not to take a bow,” Celestia mused, and she gently bent her head forward. Twilight giggled and decided to just go with the flow for the moment. She joined Celestia in the bow, and soon every judge and participant was bowing in the center of the stage, including the trees. Discord was still holding Zecora and Meadowbrook up in his palms, but he had grown a few spare forelimbs so he could still make some dramatic gestures here and there.

“Thank you all for coming! Truly, this show wouldn’t have been possible without all of you in the audience,” Discord said. “So please, have a wonderful evening. If you like, please fill out a feedback form on your way out, and I hope the memory of this once-in-a-lifetime spectacle stays with you forever. ChaosCo thanks you for attending. Farewell and goodnight! Roll the credits, and for those patient creatures, stick around for the after-credits scene!”

With that, Discord snapped his claws again, and the coliseum filled with some upbeat pop music. Twilight found she had been teleported to some other part of the stage. Where she and the others had been standing, giant words had taken shape. They looked like they were made out of the red and green materials from the potion labs, reassembled to form alphabetic statues. The letters formed were big, bold, and clearly legible.

Another snap of Discord’s magic, a giant poof, and the letters had changed. But this time, Discord was standing on top of the letters. Twilight had to stare a bit in disbelief, but he seemed to be dancing along to the music in the stadium. The letters themselves spelled out something new.

A third snap of magic. The letters had changed again, and now… Celestia was standing on one of the letters, dancing. And while Discord had seemed to be enjoying the dancing, from where Twilight stood, Celestia just looked confused. It was like she didn’t even realize she was dancing.

A fourth snap of magic. Twilight blinked and now found herself standing someplace else. She was in the center of the stage again, beneath the spotlights. She could look out and see the whole audience, but upon looking down, she saw she wasn’t standing directly on the stage. Instead, she was the one now standing on top of the newly formed words.

Twilight then realized it, even as she managed to read what the words said from the difficult angle. She was dancing, too. Looking out around the perimeter of the stage, she and everyone else that had been in the contest were dancing, doing different dances. She couldn’t stop, and what was worse… this wasn’t even how she danced! Her dancing was way better than this.

Still, Twilight felt Discord’s magic around her, and soon, another pop of his magic had changed the letters again. Now, Meadowbrook and Zecora were standing on top of the newly formed words, and it became quickly obvious that Discord had an entire credits sequence played out. He was treating his contest as if it had been some kind of movie, and he was going to have them all help.

“I’m not dancing for a week,” Twilight said as she got back home. She was exhausted after all that dancing. She gave Discord a piece of her mind once he had finished with his credits sequence, both about bewitching ponies to dance as well as finally getting to lay into him about her disrupted to-do list!

Still, in the end, Twilight had to admit her to-do list was ruined and headed home. She would rejigger her schedule for tomorrow to try and take care of her now-delayed errands. She was sure she could handle it, but it would cut into her leisurely reading time. And she had just gotten one of the Shadow Spade novels that Rarity had so intently recommended.

Despite it all, Twilight knew she could be happy about one thing. Ponyville had taken the whole event in stride, and she felt that was a good sign. Everypony in town seemed to enjoy themselves, and most of the local business seemed exceptionally happy, especially if what she heard was accurate. They had all seen a higher than average day of sales.

Applejack and Rainbow Dash were ecstatic when she saw them on her way out. Applejack’s booth had won the sales contest. That meant Rainbow Dash got her promised barrels of cider, and AJ secured the mysterious contest prize, whatever that ended up being. Twilight made a mental note to herself to ask AJ what she had won the next time the pair saw one another.

The coliseum had been deconstructed in a single snap of Discord’s claw. Celestia and Luna returned to Canterlot to lower the sun and raise the moon for the evening. Starswirl resumed his travels from wherever Discord had snatched him from. Everything was put back in place.

Above all else, Twilight knew that somewhere in the Everfree Forest, Zecora and Meadowbrook were once more talking and working together as friends. That had been a doozy of a friendship problem.

That one thought brought Twilight to a dead stop. “No…”

Twilight summoned her magic, and a moment later had teleported from the castle’s entryway to the throne room. She arrived directly adjacent to the map table, looking it over, mentally begging for it to disprove the thought that had just crossed her mind.

“No… no, this couldn’t have been… a friendship mission,” Twilight said, trying to use her magic to coax the map table to life. “The map couldn’t have sent Disord on a friendship mission. No, it’s not… possible.”

At the prodding of her magic, the table came to life. She knew it had been active. Her original to-do list had an item to check on the table and see why it had been active. Now, the table showed the map of Equestria, and above Ponyville, Twilight saw a gently floating symbol. Though few ponies would recognize it, Twilight knew what the symbol meant. It was eight arrows, all pointing outward from a central point. It was a symbol that had been emblazoned on a particular cane Twilight saw at a recent Grand Galloping Gala.

It was the symbol of chaos… which, to Twilight, meant it was also the symbol of Discord.

“Leaves you kind of speechless, doesn’t it?”

Twilight jumped, spun around, and looked to see Discord floating just inside the doorway, grinning like a cat that had cornered a mouse. “You… this… when? WHY!?”

“Come now, Twilight. Use your words,” Discord said with a chuckle, the grin on his face not diminishing a bit.

“You… all of the stuff with the contest and the coliseum… it was a friendship mission!?”

“Didn’t I tell you that? Oh, silly me.” Discord disappeared from his spot near the door and reappeared floating over the table. “Well, I know you ‘interrogated’ Fluttershy and had her tell you how the whole argument started with Zecora and Meadowbrook. And when it all started, I was planning a much smaller affair for their duel. But then, as I was sitting at home, working with my vision board, I felt a peculiar vibration on my derriere. Now, I’m the spirit of chaos. My body is always doing weird things, especially when I don’t intend it to. But even for me, this glowing and vibrating was unprecedented.

“Of course, once I realized what was going on, I popped right over here to see what your map had in store for me.” Discord used his lion paw to point at the map. “To think, I’ve been reformed enough that this national treasure of friendship and harmony would decide to ask me to perform a friendship mission. It truly was an honor, especially since it was asking me to solve a problem with the princess of friendship.”

“Me!?” Twilight said, spitting the word out like she had just been punched in the gut.

“Why yes,” Discord said. “Look, this symbol of mine is floating over Ponyville. If my mission was to fix the friendship with Zecora and Meadowbrook, it would have been floating over the Everfree Forest. No, the map wanted me to fix a problem in Ponyville, and in the end… there was only one problem I felt was… unique enough to warrant my attention.

“Though, of course, I didn’t want to go back on my word either. So, I rolled up my sleeves and showed what I could really do. It is so nice to see you and Trixie being pleasant to one another. I heard you are even going to invite Cadence to bring Flurry Heart down to see one of Trixie’s shows.”

Twilight… was at a loss. Her mind tried to form words, but… they just crumbled like a poorly made sand castle. Discord had solved a friendship problem… between her and Trixie no less! Maybe he was tooting his own horn, but he was making it sound like he had solved two friendship problems at once! No... no, that couldn’t be right. That couldn’t be possible!

“I’m sure you’re having a lovely existential crisis right now, but that’s not why I came over.”

Twilight felt her heart skip a beat. She looked up at Discord, nervous sweat forming on her brow. “There’s something else!?”

“I’m just fulfilling my clearly outlined contractual obligations,” said Discord as he pulled out a copy of his rulebook. “I need to properly clean the last traces of my I.M.B.E.C.I.L.E disease from your system.”

“It’s not gone?” Twilight asked, looking down at her hooves, suddenly wondering if she’d see small, crawling spots of Trixie’s blue coat on her body.

“You and your friends did a marvelous job. I mean, really, I had to quickly pivot some of my plans when Zecora and Meadowbrook thought to use leach vines of all things. But in the end, they didn’t really cure the disease with potions like they were supposed to. Technically, I shouldn’t have let the round end, but they got close enough and I had completed my friendship mission.

“So, I just need to quickly sort things out.” Discord raised his lion paw, the digits already prepped. “Just one snap will do it.”

Twilight watched and saw Discord snap his claws, and was then swiftly surrounded by a puff of smoke. She waved a hoof in front of her face, quickly trying to clear her vision. However, the smoke lingered.

“There you are,” Discord said. “I’ve undone everything I did, and everything the potions did. Though, you may have to do a little work to undo something you did. After all, the contest was for Elixir Master, not Spell Master. Meh, I’m sure you’ll figure it out. Have a good night, Twilight.”

“Wait, Discord, hold on a second.” Twilight coughed, but she heard the telltale pop of Discord disappearing. Then, and only then, did the suffocating smoke finally start to disappear from around Twilight. She looked around the room a moment, then groaned as she confirmed Discord had truly disappeared.

“I swear, he does this stuff just to mess with me sometimes,” Twilight said, only to realize her voice didn't sound like her own. She looked down, and saw her hooves were now blue, and looking over her shoulder, she saw a familiar cape instead of the expected wings.

Twilight was back in Trixie’s body, and she felt her temper boiling over as she turned and ran out the door.

“Discord!”