Letter 73: Here.
Dear Anon,
I hope your past letter was cathartic to write as Pinkie Pie seems to be causing you a good deal of stress by merit of.. Well, Pinkie's antics are such that there are a few researchers that have suggested she's a visiting chaos deity from another plane. We don't put very much weight into those theories, partially because we don't want to acknowledge they might be right. Nopony laughs too loudly when they come up, either.
If I may make a suggestion, take comfort from the idea that Pinkamena Diane Pie is one of the most benign ponies you'll ever meet and be grateful that her capabilities are used for, rather than against, others.
Your friend,
Celestia
Dear Pinkie Pie,
I feel that perhaps nopony has taken the time to explain this: Pinkie, your special abilities which allow you to, for example: enter a room despite all entrances being locked and warded; produce a baked good which requires an hour to produce in five minutes; or ride a slide in reverse; are abilities which most ponies either do not possess, or are not aware they possess. When a pony stares and asks a question you think to be obvious or strange, consider that it may, in fact, be a case of you having done something which another pony (or otherwise) believes to be impossible.
I am aware it is possible, by merit of the fact that you could do it. I am not debating this.
However, many ponies, when their view of reality is challenged suddenly and significantly, react with distress, and not in the variety usually reserved for pranks. I would of course never suggest you don't do your very best to live up to your cutiemark and your desires to see others happy and well, but perhaps you could, when you notice somepony expressing confusion about you or your capabilities, endeavor to simply do those things out of that being's sight in the future? Simply to avoid unnecessary stress.
Your friend,
Princess Celestia
Discord,
I will ask directly. Is Pinkamena Diane Pie a relative of yours?
Celestia
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Seriously? Did you just asked Discord direct question with direct answer? Well, ok, now roll d13 and pray to any deity you know for it not to land on conveniently placed Jumanji board. If you just rolled 8 and not some bizarre fraction and it's Tuesday you may get somewhat straight answer from him.
What? There's a rule to thit madness, it just doesn't make any sense exactly as it's supposed to.
9898107
I love the mental image of rolling a fraction because you were rolling for a chance of a chaos deity doing something by the book.
9898074
No Pinke... Fuck just happen to channel whatever your brain is made of (most of us theorize it's cotton candy with Prozac).
9898107
True True... All hail Pinkie Piecord!
Celestia must be REALLY desperate if she's getting that low
9898146
I'll be honest the only reason she isn't moving to Ponyville or dragging Twilight kicking and screaming back for closer observation is the story format.
EDIT: ... Well after reading 74...
ahving—> having
9898107
I got 13/1, I have no idea why it doesn't just say 13 but it scares me.
I’m sure most people could put up with the other stuff, but this is downright satanic
9898243
Fixed, thanks!
9898254
Well, he's a busy guy. It isn't that easy to do nothing, drink tea with Flutterstutter and being part-time accountant of Pinkie's financial empire. So, he set up an appointment for you. That one will be at Tredicember 1st.
What if Pinkie Pie, Discord and Sheogorath are related?
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I think I’ve read a story or two that postulates Pinky is related to Loki by way of Sleipnir. Depending on how much interbreeding in small towns has been going on, she could well have more than enough to be 3/4 goddess of mischief tempered substantially by her cutie mark to make ponies happy. And who knows. Discord could be related to Loki as well. Loki has a diverse taste in partners and the results are well chaotic.
I've theorized from time to time that Pinkie is basically the Haruhi Suzimya of the MLP-verse.
I should've done this a long time ago.
*slap table* THANK YOU!!!!
(Can't find scene)
If she shouts “Cheese for everyone!” hide under Luna’s bed.
Discord is only a Lord of Chaos.
9995587
That would be both terrific and terrifying.