Location: Earth, Norway.
CELESTIA POV.
As I looked up from the PS VITA, which I borrowed from Anon, I looked to my left, where Luna was on her 46th killing streak. Standing up from my sitting position, I made my way over to where Anon was driving. As I was standing next to him, I nudged him with my wing to get his attention. As he looked away from the road and onto me, he politely asked me what I needed.
"Well, um... you see, is there anything else we do? Don't take this the wrong way, but we are kind of starting to get bored. I have played almost every game, and now I don't know what to do..." Looking down and afraid that I insulted him, I expected some yelling at, for being ungrateful. He kept us fed, entertained and safe. As his hand moved towards my head, I shut my eyes tightly. I was sure he was going to hit me for being so ignorant. But what happened next surprised me.
His hand gently touched my head, and scratched me behind my ears, (Which felt really good.) Looking up at him, I smiled at him. 'His hands are really nice...' Smiling, I leaned into his touch.
"Heh. Why didn't you just tell me that you guys are bored? It’s not like; I'll get mad at you." He chuckled and took his hands away from my ears. I gave him a little pout, to make him continue. "Don't do that. Stop. Please! In the name of that is holy! I can't take it!" He was clenching his chest rather tightly.
"What happened? Are you alright?!" Panicking and afraid that my friend is hurt, I was trying to find something that will help him.
He just chuckled, and patted my head. Looking at him, I asked; "What happened?"
"The pouting that you did was so adorable and cute, that it hurt." Hearing that made me blush. 'He thinks I'm cute...'
He started tapping on his map-screen thingy. And spoke up. "Ok, I got some 'fun' for you guys. We'll be there in a little while."
Happy and giddy, that he is doing this for us, I gave him a quick hug and a thanks. Happily walking back to the chair I sat in earlier, I continued my little game on the PS VITA.
About an hour later...
As I felt the RV slowing down, I curiously looked out of the window where I saw a really big building. Curious as to what purpose it served, I made my way to Anon to ask him about it. Just as I reached him, he stopped the RV and pulled out some keys out of a keyhole.
"Where did you take us?" I asked him with a bright smile with Luna and Cadence behind me.
"You three," he said pointing at us, "Are going to go to do some shopping, cuz ladies always do that." He said with a smile of his own that I got so used to.
"Really?!" we all said in union. It has been centuries since I last had time to myself to buy some things. With gigantic grins, we all tackled him on the ground where we gave him a group hug and some nuzzles. But that happiness quickly disappeared as I remembered something.
"Um, we don't have any money..." Looking down, like Cadence and Luna. What happened next was something that I did really not expect.
"Who said your money?" Looking up at the human with a raised eyebrow, I did not understand what he meant by that. Did he want us to steal?
"Here, take this. This is all my money. I don't really use it nor need it." He said with a shrug, as he put a wallet in my hooves.
'...What. He is giving us HIS money? But he only knew us for about two days.' Looking down at his wallet and then back at him, I wondered where he actually got his money.
"Anon... we cannot take this. This is your mo-" I was cut off as two of his fingers held my lips together.
"Shh. Think nothing of it. Just take it. I trust you guys with it." He said with a bright smile. "Oh wait. You are ponies... There are no ponies that can talk on this planet. So I don't think that it’s such a good idea to let people see you." He said.
"We have an idea!" Luna said suddenly causing everyone to look at her. As she looked at me she spoke up again. "Sister, does thee remember when we mastered changeling shape-shifting spells after the invasion?" Luna said with a big smile.
'Of course! When we took hostages after the attack, we learned how to shape-shift and transform!' Well we were not really "masters" at this, but it can work! Hugging Luna, I told her how smart she was.
"Ok, who goes first?" I said to Luna and Cadence.
"US SISTER! WE WILL GO FIRST!" Luna said a 'bit' too excited. Nodding to her, I charged up my horn and pointed it at Luna. Anon and Cadence were backing away from us so that they would not get affected by it. As I fired my magic at her, there was a blinding flash, where Luna once was. Anon thinking that she got hurt, quickly ran over to where she once was. Where once Luna stood, there was a little filly Luna in her spot. As Anon saw her, his eyes widened.
"Luna? Is that you?" He asked and he looked over the filly for any injuries.
Luna quickly responded to not make her friend panic more. "Yes Siw Anon. It is Us Pwincess Woona." She answered adorably.
Anon just looked at her and suddenly dropped her. We all gasped as he dizzily started to back away, all the while clenching his heart, and giving out gasped breaths. Suddenly he froze for a second, and then fell over.
We all rushed over to him and checked over. Luckily he was breathing, but his heartbeats were not even. It was not even; it suddenly became fast, and then slowed critically down. We waited for about 3 minutes, before he groaned and rubbed his head.
"Man... what happened?" He asked, with his eyes shut.
"Anon, are you alright?" I asked as I nuzzled his hands. "You fainted a little while ago." I said to him.
"Um, yeah. I'm ok." He got into a sitting position and used me as support as he stood up. "Go do you magic, but don't fail this time."
Nodding quickly, we all got into position and used our magic on each other. Me on Cadence, Cadence on Luna, and Luna on me. As the spell took effect on each of us there was a flash again, but this time it worked! We successfully transformed! Luna had a nice pale skin with shorter Light blue hair. Cadence had a normal skin colour with a shorter version of her normal mane. And lastly, me. I had a nice light strawberry coloured hair with a pale skin colour.
We all looked at Anon, who had his head in his palms for some reason. "Anon what is the matter?" I asked him. Instead of answering us, he just pointed at the bedroom and muttered something about 'wardrobe' and 'get some clothes.'
Al three of us walked inside of his room and took some of his clothes. After a while we were finally dressed up, we walked out where we were met with a red faced Anon. As he saw us, he quickly walked over to us, and handed us his wallet. After he gave us a little demonstration on how to use his bank card, we began to walk out, only to be stopped by Anon who handed us each some hats, or as he called it; Baseball caps. We all gave him a hug and a quick bye and with that we all ran into a gigantic shop. He told us to use as long as we wanted to and to remember where he parked.
I must say. It is pretty hard to walk on two legs, but whatever. It’s time to go do some shopping!
About 5 hours later...
As we heard a loud voice around us that said that it is soon closing time, we all made our ways back to the RV, with about a hundred bags with us. Cadence bought herself some candy and a lot of clothes. Luna had about 5 full bags of games and some last gen consoles. And I had bought myself about 6 cakes and a lot of sweets! Oh and even some new make up!
As we finally saw the RV, we ran up to it and knocked on the door that was quickly opened up by Anon. As we all packed out our stuff in the bedroom, we told him about our day, which he was really interested in. After we were done with telling him about our day, I asked him where he got all this money from. Eventually, he told me that this is the money that his parents gave to him after they passed away some years ago. And this is the RV that they used on vacations and on road trips. It was really sad.
When we were done with that, we stood ready to transform back to our original forms. I used the reverse spell on Luna, Luna on Cadence and Cadence on me. As the spell ended, there was a little side effect. We all turned into fillies, but what was worse, we could not transform again because of the "cool-down" that this spell needs. So we were stuck as this.
As we went to bed we all gave him a little peck on his cheek as a sign of our gratitude and for his kindness and generosity.
This story is silly.
4905147 I know!
WARNING! WARNING! CUTENESS OVERLOAD! MUST EXPEL FROM SYSTEM!
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6uzhvi0TE1rnf5opo1_500.gif
Ah. Much better.
AHHH CUTENESS! MY ONE TRUE WEAKNESS!
img.4plebs.org/boards/pol/image/1395/23/1395238249970.jpg
ZEE D'AWWWW IS TO STRONGK!!!!!!!! *death*
Too daawwwwy it BUUUUURNS!
here is a stupid joke i found on the net:
Husband: Honey, do u smell that?
Wife: No.
Husband: Yeah, me neither, start cooking.
Ok 2 things
1.
GOD DAMN IT! *passes out*...*3 minutes later* Why!? Luna is my favorite princess, so that hit me really hard.
2. That picture in the authors note, I passed out for 9 minutes, so thank you for nearly giving me a diabeetis attack.
4905936 You are very welcome! :D
Oh, and if you want to see super adorable Luna, then click on my name.
Mother of god the cutenes in this is overwhelming
4905259
WARNNG TOO MUCH CUTENESS, MASS EXPULSION
stream1.gifsoup.com/view6/4068869/rainbow-projectile-vomiting-o.gif
Make it stop
4906029 I looked at the image on your page and passed out for 9 minutes again. Your a troll, aren't you?
I'm predicting a royal harem for this anon
The cover art is made by john joseco
Just letting you know!!
here it is
http://johnjoseco.deviantart.com/#/art/Royal-Fun-at-the-Beach-350981157?hf=1
It so DAMN cute X_X *dies*
Heart c-can't handle massive levels of cute *sees woona pic* Hnng X_X DED
derpicdn.net/img/2012/12/27/195183/large.png
derpicdn.net/img/2012/9/21/103136/large.png
HNNNNNGGGGG!
derpicdn.net/img/view/2013/12/26/506683__safe_solo_pinkie+pie_animated_pinkamena+diane+pie_reaction+image_heart+attack_pointy+ponies_hnnng_artist-colon-immatoonlink.gif
Well this was heart pumping chapter. But I do feel like the whole explaining why Anon has a lot of money was rushed. It's said that he got it from his parents, were his parents rich? How much does he have? And the fact that he said that he got it when his parents died as if it wasn't a big deal just doesn't feel right.
I think you killed The564mumble with DIABETUS.............
* mumble is clutching his heart as he is twitching
I am so going to troll him XD
4906107
files.sharenator.com/mother_of_god_Half_Life_2_Lamp-s233x249-341301-580.jpg
What have I started!
Oh my Gosh!!!!! I am Dying from Cuteness overdose!
4908250 it'll be more explained and detailed soon
The cuteness.....makes....me vulnerable......to...heart attacks *faints*
Woona killed me.
Personally, i'm impressed he didn't cough up sparkles.
C: /run autocomment.gmd
/comment loading;
/start process:
[Attention: if this comment is displayed then Human Error 429(0x1337) //(lLife support failure due to cuteness)//, then it means that the human normally operating this computational device has died. This pre-programmed comment displays in order to alert the general populous. In the event that it is not too late (which we doubt), immediate internet medics are to be dispatched. Thank you, and please enjoy this picture of a pony eating a taco.]
fc09.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/347/3/d/scootaloo_eating_a_taco_by_bleutaco-d5nx8p4.png
/TERMINATE TRANSMISSION
TRANSMISSION LOST
In all seriousness though, good job with the re-write of the first chapter. Makes more sense now.
4906029 u basterd how could u show so much CUTENESS
more
I was redirected here by the overrated folder at Rage Reviews.
awesome
4936099 is... Is that a thing? Please tell me it's a thing.
4954082 I want to know now as well if that is a thing as well
4954082
4985542
Yep. Rage Reviews is a group here on Fimfiction that's like a combination of rifftrax and brutally honest reviews. Just go the groups button and then search for it.
4987430 you da real MVP.
Pros
You seem to be actually improving your story in terms of grammar and writing
Cons
Another generic AIE fic
Poorly done fandom injokes
The MC takes everything way too in stride, as in, he has magical alien horses in his RV and he treats it like it's just another Tuesday
It's a very meh story, so in turn, this fic will be the first fic that I've review on this site to earn, a meh out of 10
I like this but why no new stories u said u wouldn't be posting for a wile but dang this is a long time please make new ones I need more
Between this:
and this
th03.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2013/013/b/b/drinks_all_around__by_beavernator-d5r0v9v.png
I swear my heart just stopped beating.
5031824 I think I just got a heart attack.
It is too much! D'AWWW!
I love it, but I'm kinda sad that there have not been any new chapters in a long bit. I'll still wait,though.
4906029
*Right before death*
I will be avenged!
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR9mFp9lDPTKOVpDURaKeGl5RVyQ3oY-T0GUUY0xpqkbqGr-tW13Q
OH GOD!!! THAT LAST PICTURE IS TOO ADORA-
*heart stops*
Nurse: Doctor! We're losing him!
Doctor: Sorry nurse, there is nothing we can do. That picture is too adorable. Its power is too-"
*doctor faints*
Nurse: Why? WHY?!
lol I dunno what I just said
OH GAHD! THE CUTENESS!!! M puny little teenage heart can't ha- handle it! Ugh! OH! *Collapses on the floor from cuteness overload*
*Mom walks in room, wondering why I am on the ground clenching my chest*
*Mom checks my computer and sees adorable picture of Luna Filly*
*Me and Mom are both taken to a hospital because our hearts stopped from the cuteness*
5711150 *See your comment*
2000 YEARS LATER...
*Dies of cuteness caused illness! XD
4906029
5411633
Would you idiots stop launching WMDs (Weapons of Mass D'AWWWWWW) at each other?
4925093
Snake? Snake?! Snaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake!
My heart... that filly Luna pic at the end!
So. I can't do this anymore. The start of this story was good up until the whole video games scene started. After that this just got worse. It's amateurish, lazy wish-fillfilment, and an obvious self-insert. I wish that those last two things had been in the story's description on the front page as a warning. I don't mind amateur writing, but this really takes the cake.
And, that stupid chapter. The one in which you're cursing the people that dislike your story? Yeah, real mature. It's not even a good joke, if that is indeed what you were aiming for. And wtf is up with Celestia acting like an abused, brain-washed, coward at saying "I'm board." Bad excuse to introduce your next scene with or to show kindness.
You had a good start, but this devolved quite badly. I'll never recommend this to anyone except to show what wasted potential looks like.