“Hey, girls. Ugh, what a day. Pop quiz in Calc two, missed lunch because the library checkout line took forever…”
“Huh? Oh, a soda would be great, Fluttershy. Thanks. I’m parched!”
“Ah! Ice cold too. Phew, that’s better!”
“Oh, by the way, I spotted those two cardinals in the big tree just past the SigEp house on my way over. They seem to be pretty active, so whatever you did for them seems to be working.”
“Well, much as I’d love another chance to kick your butt at Bash Bros, Rainbow, I’ll have to raincheck for later– Hey now, it’s not my fault that you keep picking an easily countered fighter. Alright, you get to pick the stage next time too. Maybe it’ll help you, hehe.”
“You went to the library too, Pinkie? Yeah, amen to that. What a mess it is this semester. It was way easier to get in and out of there when Notepad was running the show.”
“I know, right? He retires and the whole library goes to pot almost overnight! We really need to talk Twilight into taking more volunteer shifts there. She could have it humming again in no time.”
“Oh, see ya, AJ! Hope your evening class goes well! We’ll save some pizza for you just in case!”
“What did you say, Rarity? Oh, yes, well, I guess that's ‘humming’ along nicely too. At least I think.”
“It’s only been two dates, you know. They’ve been great of course, and we both enjoyed the picnic, so thanks for the good idea there. But, sorry, marriage hasn’t come up yet. See, even Pinkie knows that life doesn’t work quite like those romance novels you like to read.”
“Ha ha. All kidding aside though, it’s been great. We planned to see a movie next weekend, so I guess a third date’s in the works. I know, I’m excited too. But… kinda nervous too. Perhaps Twilight is too. I mean, we’re all friends. Great friends. I suppose we’re putting that at risk a bit here, if this doesn’t work out.”
“Oh, I appreciate it, Shy. You’re probably right. If we can survive multiple versions of us and countless magical attacks on our old high school, I doubt a few dates will ruin us.”
“So, Rarity. Need some extra advice here. What’s a good dinner pairing with a sci-fi double feature?”
Interesting style choice... I've tried doing a chapter once with just a dialogue between two characters, just as an experiment, but this is one step further.
Honestly... it's not working for me, at least not here. It's not because of the style itself, but a symptom of it.
The problem is I can't hear almost any of this in Sunset's voice, there's nothing at all distinctive about it. And the bigger issue is this chapter does nothing. It just has Sunset talking with the girls to remind us that they exist, this seems it could have been summarized in one line in the next chapter.
All that said, I'm going to give this a go!
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Hi! Thanks for the comment.
I'll be honest - this is a new style choice for me as well, so I definitely didn't have 'this is totally perfect' on the mind when I finished, lol. And hey, if it turns out not to work for you, that's ok. I never expect everyone to love everything I write, so no worries on that front. :)
As for this specific chapter, I mainly fleshed this out to setup some kind of backstory - specifically that they were just beginning to date. At the time I felt like just jumping right to one of their actual dates would be awkward. But, I could be wrong too. You and other readers get to judge me on that, lol.
Sounds like you're going to continue with the story, so I hope it grows on you a bit. But if not, thanks for giving it a try anyway. I appreciate it!
-GMP
Oooh! :O Kudos for taking a huge stylistic risk like this! So far, so good!
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Thank you! Yeah, I went way out of my comfort zone on this one, lol. I'm sure I made a few paragraph break snafus along the way, so I apologize for those. But I hope you find it was a decent effort in the end. :)