Equestrian culture loves cutie marks. Filly Starlight Glimmer hates them and never wants one. So, she leaves Equestria.
Starlight looked up, lifting her head from a cantaloupe slice as the bathroom door swung open. Maple trotted out, coat damp, cheeks rosy and looking slightly less exhausted than she had before bathing... but still ready to collapse. She made a beeline for the nest-like bed where Starlight lay, nudging the filly aside with her nose. "Move over, you. I need to lie down..."
"Careful with those," Valey remarked from where she lay prone on a table, pointing a wing at the open fruit sack. "Gotta remember to only drip juice on the bed. Makes it more of a headache for management to clean up."
The hotel room was perfectly untouched since they had left the previous evening, with no evidence that anyone had entered. Its normalcy was almost shocking after the night's events, but it was a shock that ended in serenity, not panic or fear. Granted, it wasn't nearly serene enough to go to sleep, despite Maple and Starlight's overwhelming exhaustion. Valey made sure of that.
"Gerardo isn't here yet, is he?" Maple asked, sighing, ignoring Valey's bad advice. "I mean... I suppose it's hard to be late at this hour, and he more likely came and left already, but..." She stared forlornly at the door, and Starlight had to offer her a banana to get her to look away. "He doesn't have a key. Right..."
"Haven't seen him." Valey slithered closer to the table edge, head hanging off and staring at them at a bizarre angle. Her beret was on the hat rack by the door, and and her emerald mane hung free, nearly touching the floor. "Probably bailed. It's not like I can follow everyone at once, you know."
Starlight shot her a glance that might have been reproachful, but was tempered by the presence of donated food. "If you were following us, then why didn't you help earlier?"
"Huh?" Valey blinked. "I wasn't following you. Where did you think I got all this food? And didn't I tell you about the mess in the fort?"
"Then how did you find us?" Maple asked, swallowing her mouthful. "The Stone District is huge, and we were hidden!"
"I told you that too: she reeks." A leathery wing pointed itself at Starlight. "I can smell her for miles."
Both ponies shot her a dirty look. "What?" Valey shrugged. "You asked, and it's true."
Maple pressed her nose into Starlight's side, inhaling deeply and causing the filly to squirm. "Well, I think she smells wonderful," she countered, eyes narrow, "so there."
"Meh. I didn't say it was a bad smell." Valey rolled herself upright, folding her forelegs. "Though now that you mention it, something does smell a little funky right now, and not in a good way." She raised her muzzle and took several sniffs, then shrugged again. "Eh, maybe the neighbors had a fight, or something."
For a moment, nobody said anything, and the room was silent save for the sounds of chewing and slurping. Then, Starlight said, "Why are you helping us?"
Valey patted her stomach and burped. "I told you, because I can't eat all that by myself."
Starlight frowned. "No. The guards in the fort hate you. The one who helped us only did it because he thought you got us in trouble there, and you keep doing weird things like blocking roads and telling me I smell. So why are you being so helpful, and why to us? Don't you have other things to do?"
"Wow, you need to pay attention more." Grinning, Valey rolled back upside down. "I told you that too! I get paid to do what I want!"
"So why do you want to help us?" Starlight narrowed her eyes. "What are we to you?"
"Well... eh... fine." Valey deflated somewhat. "Maybe you haven't noticed, but..." She extended a wing, examining it and then displaying it to the two in bed. A fanged grin followed, though there was no mirth in it. "Get it?"
"I... don't, no..." Maple blinked. Starlight stayed silent beside her.
"Precisely." Suddenly dour, Valey looked at them, eyeslits thin and constricted. "Because I've been watching you, and if you had noticed anything, you would have done something by now. But you don't get it, and that both makes you the stupidest, naivest things in this city and some of the only ponies worth being nice to. It's... selfish, I guess."
Leaning forward, Starlight asked, "What are you talking about?"
"Everybody else?" Valey examined her wing again, carefully displaying its featherless, leathery texture. "They see these, and they think oh bananas, here comes trouble. Never even give it a second thought. My kind have a bit of a bad rap around here, in case you hadn't noticed that either."
"What... What are you, anyway?" Maple blinked. "I've been meaning to ask..."
"Batpony," Valey replied, shrugging limply. "Ever heard the saying 'never trust a bat'? That's us. Good advice, too. And ponies listen." Slumping, she let herself droop slightly further off the table. "Mean, nasty pranksters, the lot of us. Can't escape it whether you're a felon or an angel, if the latter is even possible."
Maple sniffed, setting aside her food. "That... Really? That sounds so lonely..."
"Hey." Valey frowned, pulling her wings back to her sides. "Before you go throwing a pity party, I'm hardly deserving of sympathy. Maybe if I wanted to sit back and do nothing but whine about the world being unfair, but I give as good as I get. Ponies want to blame me for all sorts of stupid stuff?" Her grin returned. "Way I see it is, might as well have the fun of doing it. So I do my job and keep the city safe when it needs it, and spend the rest of my time haunting pedestrians and screwing with paperwork to annoy bureaucrats. It's no paradise, but I don't wanna even think about how much worse it could be."
"You work for the Defense Force," Maple noted. "Are you a detective, or something?"
Valey shook her head, still grinning. "I lead the Defense Force, much as Selma hates to admit it. Of course, that doesn't really mean much, with how poorly the top is organized. I have no requirements, no duties, no nothing except bossing ponies around on random whims, and neither does he. You probably couldn't design a more corrupt, dysfunctional system if you tried, but I do keep the district safe, and with this many enemies, the threat of an army at my back is kind of something I really don't want to live without."
"That sounds too good to be true..." Starlight said dubiously, ears folded.
"Eh. Well, I didn't mention the downsides." Valey snorted. "If I didn't have all of Ironridge hating my guts before, this would be great for making enemies. I hardly deserve the post, and only got it through blatant favoritism. I've stepped on the hooves of most everyone there, and everyone, especially the dangerous ones, are jealous someone like me gets the post instead of them. And then I have to answer to an even worse boss than I am..."
"In the Sky District?" Maple asked, blinking.
"Nah. It's the yak ambassador, Herman." Valey gritted her teeth. "Herman is pure evil. He always gets his way, and then acts like he never even noticed you wanted something else to happen, or at best like he allowed you to lose. He makes all his plays by doing things that have nothing to do whatsoever with his goals, and somehow always gets them to work out in his favor. It's... unfair!"
She tensed, rolling upright again on the table. "Like, look at me! I'm literally paid to do whatever I feel like, and have all the power in the world! I should be the best wild card ever made, the definition of impossible to manipulate!" She pointed both hooves at her chest in self-indication. "But the more I use this job, the more I need it. The one thing I can't do is not play. I'm on the board and can't get off, and that works in his favor every single time..." Kneading the table with her hooves, she drew in a hissing breath. "I hate him so much, and there are so many ways I could end him. So many secrets I could spill that would obliterate his career and smash his stupid yak face into melon paste... but then I'd lose this job because no sane successor would hire me, and that would be suicide and he knows it!"
Her wings flared, and she stood up, panting. "I think I need to go ruin someone's morning," she huffed, red and disheveled. "Bye."
Valey blasted out the door, executing a perfect right-angle turn in the hallway, letting it swing closed behind her. Her beret remained unclaimed on the hat rack, swaying slightly in the breeze from her wake. Maple and Starlight looked at each other in the silent aftermath, blinking.
"She sounded like she really needed to vent," Maple eventually whispered. "And if all that's true, I still feel sorry for her..."
"Yeah," Starlight muttered under her breath. "And I'm tired."
"And I'm full," Maple happily groaned, pulling over the fruit sack and peering inside. "Looks like she left us enough for breakfast, too... or lunch, with how late we're probably going to sleep in."
Starlight nodded contentedly, her own hunger thoroughly alleviated. For all Valey's quirks, she had certainly brought them quality food. Curling up tightly, she tucked herself tightly against Maple's side, listening to the sound of the mare's slow breathing as she drifted off to sleep.
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Yes, never trust a bat!
8457810
They're the worst!
8457927
Absolutely! There's nothing more despicable.
Hold on, is Valey actually a changeling?
Let's make batpony generalizations!
All batponies can speak Moonwhinny.
All batponies love/serve Luna (H'Luun).
Despite making up only 5% of Equestria's population, batponies commi-