• Member Since 23rd Jan, 2022
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Jymbroni


Easy day!

E
Source

When Fleur receives a romantic dinner invitation from her marefriend, any expectations of sharing a lovely meal quickly change into an unforgettable evening for both of them.

Editor: Rego


Written for the New Blood Writing Contest

This is my attempt at:
Bonus #2: "Include a Bug."
Bonus #3: "An unusual matchup”

Selected for "Best Representation of Unusual Matchup" in the New Blood writing contest.

Live reading done by Bean
Part 1
Part 2

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 19 )

It's funny because "a modest proposal" is a satirical essay about eating people and Changelings eat people.

11652309
Huh... I had no idea about that. Wonder if Jym was aware of it.

Glad someone caught that! :twilightsheepish:

Posh #4 · Jul 29th, 2023 · · 1 ·

If this doesn’t involve Minuette telling Fleur that the yaks need to cannibalize their young to solve their overpopulation and moral decay, im going to report you to HUAC.

11652358
Okay, now I want to read that essay. Twilight having to very careful very calmly explaining to Starlight that sapient creatures shouldn't eat other sapient creatures.

Reminds me of a certain another old story…
This is a good one. Didn't see that coming, but old ideas done in different and special ways are often nice treats.

Poor Chrysalis, doomed never to find true love because she would end up eating her girlfriends and boyfriends.

11653014
Thank you! The best stories are sometimes the ones you're most familiar with and are exciting to see how they're told in different ways.

11653087
I always wonder what it's like for Chrysalis if she's unable to reform like the rest of her hive, like the mental and physical struggles.

Me in the middle of this story: c’mon, what’s the worst thing that can happen.
Me at the end: Oh. That.

I absolutely loved the ending. It took me a bit, I thought minuet had mint powers, but no she was with a changeling the whole time, very, very clever.

I had to reread it again just to catch all the little hints and nuances. If anything I enjoyed the second read more than the first!

I also love the idea that you can’t love someone you have only known for such a short period of time. There is more to them. Love isn’t the passionate obsession but the steady constant.

It was sweet that she saved her, and you must wonder who she would target next.


You have an excellent turn of phrase. I really liked it, and hope you will write more, not this story, necessarily, just in general.

This was such a sweet story and I really enjoyed the chemistry between Minuette and Fleur

This was an enjoyable story, but poor Chrysalis can never seem to catch a break, it's always so bittersweet when a character has to be the evil so that your love can be happier and live peacefully.

Hello! Have a review. I apologise for the lateness: partly down to Covid, partly down to disorganisation. A seriously rare pairing here, but I liked the characterisation and the chemistry between the two. A slightly underwhelming ending, but I still liked this enough for an upvote.

11769597
Thank you so much for your kind words! This was my first writing contest ever so the time crunch really got to me and the story suffered at some points because of that.

11772840
You're very welcome! And yeah, I hear you on the contest writing crunch thing! Been, done, T-shirt, etc. :pinkiehappy:

Howdy. hi~! It's DaOtterGuy

I really liked the dynamic between Fleur and Minuette in this. They had this loving relationship that worked very well and played off each other's distinct personalities quite well. I adore the little details that show they really know each other. Its an unlikely pairing but on that you make work quite well. The plot was good with the twist ending that I hadn't seen coming but adds a perfect bittersweet taste that, despite the sadness, sits really well. Thanks for the banger read :)

11911031
Thank you so much for your comment! Fleur is one of my favorite ponies and it was a treat to finally get to write her.

"Of course," Fleur purred with a lustful smile. "I would never pass up an opportunity to spend time with my minty marefriend."

hehe, because she is toothpaste, i get it!

"Désolée," she apologized, swishing her tail underneath Minuette's chin. "It's not every day I get to see this side of you."

glad that Fleur de Lis sprinkles Prench phrases into her Ponish, as she should

"What idiot names a restaurant 'The Wind of Armor?'" she grumbled.

i was wondering the exact same thing lol

The mere thought of Minuette's minty love made her stomach twist in anticipation, but for now, she had to suffer through this tasteless pony food.

ooh, if this is what i think it is, that does explain everything about why Fleur de Lis felt slightly off so far! good twist that is to come i assume

"In the mornings, when you're getting ready, your mane changes shades of pink until it looks like it does now. I didn't understand why until I heard about this flower which also changes colors when light touches it."

aww, another hint at the twist! and that is a very sweet gesture on Minuette’s part, straight out of a romance movie

"Scared!" Fleur laughed hysterically. "My sweet little pony, it is you who should be scared."

hehe! and it is interesting how few ponies there are in the show that have Fleur de Lis’s body type. namely, Chrysalis, Cadance, and that’s almost it! this would fit very well with the idea that Chrysalis can only disguise herself as a pony matching her own body type (which is contradicted by her disguise in the last season but whatever!)

anyway, poor Minuette and Chrysalis! Minuette was totally ready to look past her being a Changeling, but understandably her being a war criminal was a step too much. and the tragedy that Chrysalis herself lives is well-put. thanks for writing!

11911288
Thank you!

anyway, poor Minuette and Chrysalis! Minuette was totally ready to look past her being a Changeling, but understandably her being a war criminal was a step too much. and the tragedy that Chrysalis herself lives is well-put. thanks for writing!

I subscribe to the belief that when Chrysalis consumes love from somepony that it makes them physically weaker. If she consumes too much in one go that she could ultimately kill them which is why she sent Minuette away out of fear that she couldn't stop herself from consuming too much of Minuettes love.

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