AMICITAS FLIGHT THREE – MISSION DAY 105
ARES III SOL 106
[07:48] JPL: Mark, this is Venkat again. Thank your friends for the test emails they sent. We’re already receiving hundreds of thousands of emails for them. Like with your emails, we’re only sending up mission critical messages and the most interesting other items. Nobody will get more than ten emails a day. This isn’t because we think you’ll waste your time. It’s because that’s all the bandwidth we can afford to spare.
Right now we’re operating at a peak of 12.6 kilobits per second by relaying through Hermes. Direct transmission to Earth would drop that to about 1.5 kilobits. By the time Hermes begins aerobraking for Earth orbital insertion, that will be down to 0.8 kilobits per second. At worst, during the three week blackout window of the Mars-Sun conjunction (Sol 328) it’ll be down to 400 bits per second- barely enough to sustain this chat, with a minimum response time of about an hour per message. All of that assumes Pathfinder doesn’t break. We’ll never have more bandwidth than we do now until the replacement radio system arrives with the resupply mission, so we need to prioritize data transfer from your end.
With that in mind, we want you to ask Starlight Glimmer and one of your other guests to send us anything and everything they can that they haven’t already done from their ship-board library. Also, we want photos of Starlight and, if possible, Dragonfly using magic. We have our doubters here, as you already guessed, and any documentation helps. Unfortunately the video you took is useless until and unless we get you a radio that can link up with the communications satellites orbiting Mars.
I say ask them because we know you’re preparing for the cave harvest. That is top priority and mission-critical. Our experts on this end tell me they can’t think of anything else to improve on what you’re already doing, and they’re astonished at the results you’re getting based on your photos. If Cherry Berry can give more explanation for earth pony magic beyond “it just happens”, they’d be delighted.
Finally, our media department has a special request for your guests. While Hermes is still in range of voice communications, we want to set aside some time at the end of the transmission window each day for an interview. Obviously there’s no chance of a live interview with even Hermes being just over a six minute one-way lightspeed lag. Instead we’ll provide a set of written questions. We want your friends to read their answers on the radio so Hermes can record it.
We know their English isn’t the best and their accents are weird, but it’s important that the world hear their voices. We think that, the less the public thinks of them as adorably cute faces and the more they see them as real people with real feelings, the more strongly they’ll support our efforts to bring you all home safely.
That’s it for now. Let me know if I can do anything for you.
[08:28] WATNEY: I’ve passed on the word. Fireball is going to get the camera- hooray thumbs!- while I work on assembling the tools for the harvest. The plan is firm: Sol 109 – potato replanting in cave; Sol 110-111 hay harvest; Sol 112 restarting Hab farm with 90% potatoes.
We’re also going to try planting another fifty square meters of alfalfa seed in the ground downstream of the water outlet from the pony hydronic heating system. No idea how well it’ll work, but we agree with Dr. Keller about the protein issue. I tasted a few alfalfa leaves yesterday: not terrible, but I suspect it’s an acquired taste for non-quadrupeds. Anyway, I’m going to need to acquire it before long.
Reaction to the interview thing is mixed. Cherry is lukewarm to the idea. Spitfire just rolls her eyes. Starlight is interested, and Dragonfly is downright eager in a way that makes me worry. The last time I saw a smile like that was on Martinez just before you called us on the carpet over the thing with the public safety video. The only one who actively hates the idea is Fireball, and I don’t know if it’s because he thinks it’s stupid or because he’s embarrassed. His English is the worst of the group.
Anyway, send the questions. You’ve got at least two takers, and probably four if not all five.
And finally… yes, there is something you can do for me. Send me music. Send lots of music. Send any music at all, country, bluegrass, opera, Himalayan monk chanting, oh God, ANYTHING but disco! I have had it to HERE with fucking disco! And just in case you’re wondering, the Beatles aren’t as much of a disco antidote as you’d think. You said yourself the bandwidth is as wide as it’s ever going to get. So send me some low-fi, high-compression music files, whatever… but NOT DISCO. Okay? Thanks.
[08:37] JPL: I’ll look into it. No promises.
[10:49] HERMES: What’s this I see? A heretic who dares disparage the acme of Boomer culture? Next you’ll be claiming that house music was the coming of the Antichrist.
[10:57] WATNEY: Ha ha, Martinez. You have other options. With me it’s this or silence.
[11:04] HERMES: Guess again. This is Lewis. And you do not diss the groove.
[11:11] WATNEY: Last I looked there were about seventy-five million miles between us, so under the circumstances I can speak my mind. Disco is artificial, commercialized, decadent musical pablum. It is an assault on the ear. It is to good music what Red Baron is to good pizza.
[11:18] HERMES: Guess who went into your room and bundled your personal effects. And who has your personal data storage stick in her fingers right this minute.
[11:25] WATNEY: Blackmail, Lewis? That’s beneath you. Also, everything on that stick is replaceable.
[11:32] HERMES: Let’s see… Minecraft, Orbiter, Universal Sandbox IV… the collected Discworld on e-reader… ah, here’s the music section. “100 Best Sci-Fi Themes of All Time.” “John Williams directs the Boston Pops” about a dozen times. And about a hundred video game soundtracks.
[11:39] WATNEY: I have nothing to be ashamed of. John Williams was the most influential American composer of the twentieth century.
[11:46] HERMES: “The Weird Al Yankovic Penultimate Nursing Home Collection.”
[11:53] WATNEY: Five decades of priceless pop culture treasure.
[12:00] HERMES: And a directory labeled ‘Tom Lehrer.’ I know these songs, Mark. And I’m betting your sweet, innocent friends don’t know half of what’s in here.
[12:06] WATNEY: Don’t you have some commanding to do up there?
[12:13] HERMES: Take it back or explain to your friends what comes after, “All the world seems in tune on a spring afternoon.”
[12:21] WATNEY: NNNNRG… all right, you win. There are a few disco songs in your collection that aren’t irredeemable trash. “I Will Survive.” “Hot Stuff.” “Stayin’ Alive.” Those are inspirational right now.
[12:28] HERMES: All obvious, Mark. And I doubt you’ve really listened to the lyrics of “I Will Survive.”
[12:35] WATNEY: Commander, don’t do this to me!
[12:42] HERMES: “He gives the kids free samples because he knows full well…”
[12:49] WATNEY: All right! The Hustle, okay? There aren’t any lyrics, it’s nice and simple, and it sounds like there’s a halfway decent piece of music buried under the bow-chicka-chicka. There exists in the universe one decent disco song. Are you satisfied?
[12:55] HERMES: Three. “Gotta Boogie” by Weird Al and “Dancin’ Fool” by Frank Zappa are both on your flash drive. So you must now admit there are THREE good disco songs.
[13:02] WATNEY: Has anyone told you lately that you are so evil the only reason you don’t eat kittens for breakfast is that NASA hasn’t sent you the procedure yet?
[13:08] HERMES: Not in too long. We miss you here, Mark.
[13:14] WATNEY: I miss you too, boss. All of you. Every day.
[13:15] JPL: We’re still working on the kitten omelet procedure down here. We thought we had it nailed down, but the engineer let the kitten wiggle off the post. You don’t want to know what we did to the engineer.
[13:18] JPL: Kapoor here. I did not write that! That was someone in Pasadena, and they should hope I never find out who it was!
[13:26] HERMES: Give me his name if you find it. I want to buy them a beer when we get home.
[13:33] WATNEY: Two beers.
[13:40] HERMES: I have some things to do, off-day or not. Mark, not all my music is disco. I had some prog-rock on there too.
[13:48] WATNEY: I know. And I may one day forgive you for “Dark Side of the Moon.” It’s like one enormous song except they break it in the middle with that “Money” thing. I get relaxed, get productive, focused on my work, and all of a sudden KA-CHING! Hypnosis broken.
[13:54] HERMES: Suck it up, music lover. Hermes Actual out.
At least he won't have to tell his friends what comes after "Why does it hurt when I pee?," so there's that? I guess?
12 kilobits/s should be enough for some low quality high compression music.
I found this bit a rather amusing interplay. It shows that Lewis has recovered enormously from her guilt issues if she's willing to even play along with this sort of thing.
YES, Watney is a weird Al Fan! you haven't TRULY experienced Weird Al until you have seen him LIVE; which I have done TWICE (his Mandatory World Tour in 2015, and in 2016), and will be doing a THIRD time with his new "The Ridiculously Self-Indulgent, Ill-Advised Vanity Tour" on April 17th!
Kitten omelets and disco tyranny. Comedy gold.
My father and I were discussing Weird Al's latest offering (the Hamilton Parody Polka). The man truly is a musical genius.
I also play a fair bit of modded Minecraft. I'm curious about the version Mark has on his stick now.
The more I hear about this guy, the more I am seeing him as Not Matt Damon and more like my kind of people.
I disagree. I've met real people; ponies are much more likeable.
I kind of like the Masochism Tango just after Poisoning Pigeons, which brings back memories of tossing out laced corn and other grain at a nuke plant. It was hilarious watching pigeons dance in circles before dropping dead. Flying rats! º_o'
http://fav.me/dc56a3s
sent fireball MMMMMMEEEEETAAAAALLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!
Prog rock rules! (But yes, Dark Side is over-rated.)
Nothing from Ogden Edsl?
That's debatable. Williams is good and all, but I wouldn't say he's been more influential than Copland or Bernstein, and that's not even considering jazz composers.
Also, seeing his selection of video games, Mark is apparently such a nerd that he doesn't get enough rocketry from his actual spaceflight and needs to have a super-realistic spaceflight sim as well. I have to assume that KSP doesn't exist in this reality- or at least, if it does, its solar system is drastically different from the game we know- because surely Mark would play it if it did exist (he plays Orbiter and Minecraft, and KSP is basically halfway between the two), and he'd have some questions once he found out that the planets in the ponies' solar system have the same masses, volumes, and orbits as the ones in the game.
8780448
Teddy: Rich, what is this?
Rich: My calculations are accurate. I pulled the latest data from real estate, contracting, and restaurant information sources.
Teddy: No, that you listed "Apartment- $5,512,981. Custom kitchen- $8,132,144. Funding for three skilled chefs and appropriate ingredients, in perpetuity- $9,608,511 --"
Rich: That's for building me an apartment on that unused parcel of land just off the south parking lot. Oh, and for upgrading the JPL kitchen and getting a few chefs who can cook us anything from Jimmy Chonga's, Blaze Pizza, Kabuki's, Arroyo Chop House, and Lunasia Dim Sum.
Teddy: ...
Rich: I'm looking to share my newfound wealth with my esteemed colleagues.
Teddy: I see. Well, I'll do my best. But I noticed that you said there's $62,778 to spare?
Rich: Oh, yeah. Annie said something about needing to relax, so I thought that leftover could get us a big Jacuzzi for the office.
I've always been a fan of "We'll all go together when we go." But "Poisoning Pigeons in the Park" is also a regular favorite of mine. Tom Leher was a man before his time! Stuff like that was more than a little edgy in the 50s.
I think you accurately predicted the name of the final collection of everything Al made and will make.
In any case, lovely, largely light-hearted interlude. Mark's taste in music nearly matches mine, though I'm much more disco-tolerant. Those interviews should be quite interesting, though coaching Fireball through his responses in advance might be advisable.
also this is what i would ask them and tell them when they do that news thing with there voice and the common one would be ask "do you have video games or do you have movie tv and all that"
for fireball "Fireball what I have read that you have known to eat rare earth metals and gems, I can explain this and I would love for you to come back safely too for me and others to buy you gold to eat and more. But anyway your gut biome is that of a wood-eating termite and I have to say your the 1st I have ever seen of your size that can eat none organic matter, but i would like to add is that all you can eat because I would love to buy you meat to eat here on earth we have kick ass bbq. OH! and don't worry about it we have none meat made from just plants, no animals was hurt in the making of it"
for the ponies i would say this to them for real "hey so did he tell you we have a story of your kind here on earth i have a theory on it, that your kind has indeed lived with us a long time ago. but sadly due to a human being not the most kindness of things living on this rock we have killed off many big living things and that could explain when you pop on to our world so long ago and left for your kind own safety"
LOL, this whole chapter made my day.
8782045
Hermes has always areobreaked, its standard mission profile.
If NASA sends mark and company some music there had BETTER be at least 1 daft punk album
8782083 Not really, since they're already using Hermes as a relay point and signal booster. That's the only reason they're above 2 kilobits per second.
It’s simple banter like this that I enjoy. It humanizes people, and lets me understand their mindset. Good stuff.
Maybe NASA should send them Earth history/myths on unicorns, pegasus, and so on. Then they can compare it to what Celestia, Luna, Discord, and the Pillars know. See if there is some similarities to their history...
Have the ponies mentioned the names of some of their cities yet?
... *sighs and goes to open Wierd Al playlist whispering* You can never escape.
Seriously? Are they gonna miss the chance to send Future World Music or Hans Zimmer to the Equestrians?
Pity dog tags are dangerous with spacesuits because they tend to get caught in the helmet when trying to do an emergancy suit up, or they would be useful for the microSD card of personal data allocation?
Wonder whats the fastest a soccar ball sized sphere of pure tungsten could hit a planet, first that it didnt fry the 500 C tolerant SoC in its core, and secondly that the graphite flake, Zirconium Oxide core store would survive, or its absolute maximum survivable impact?
For grams of delivery, theres Starwhisp project?
Looks like Whatney is going to be receiving the complete Chip Tune collection? Or maybe 20 Meg of it? For size, better MODs and MEDS than X3M,a nd you can always replace the vocal track with lyrics and text to speech?
Im sure with speech to text, predictive modeling, and morse, you can get reasonable, if slightly stilted voice communication down to a few baud. Of course, this also means that you can do text to text real time translation as well. Pity Microsoft claims that, the amount of processing power should be milliwatts, not cloud server.
One way to do a skip would be have one chapter with a series of interviews with different crew members. That way you can get some passing time while adding to the story without feeling to much like padding. Doubly so if there is some replies to the first batch of answers.
Also, with all that's being sent down, I wonder how long until someone asks for detailed information on Celestia and Luna... and if we might see some Sun/moon goddess worshipers pop up once that gets out.
8782083
Not enough compression. Given the trends in technology, it's probably lossless FLAC, which tends to average out to a whopping 5Mbytes per minute. (Or, failing that, 320Kbps MP3s.)
128Kbit MP3s (what everyone was downloading off Napster and Kazaa in the early days of MP3 piracy) are about 1MByte per minute and Opus will do just as well at half that... and that's before you take Mark's request to sacrifice quality for quantity into account. I have some old 80Kbit Vivaldi MP3s I grabbed from a university website back in the early 2000s and they still sound great. Opus can match that quality level at around 32Kbit, which would be 250Kbytes per minute.
That's 1/20th the size of what Mark's stick probably contains before you even start to drop the quality to the point where it's a real sacrifice and still would take 20 seconds to transfer each minute of 32Kbit Opus over the 12.6 kbps link they currently have.
If you're willing to go more in the vein of listening to on-hold music over the phone, then you can get it down to 16 kbit or possibly even 8kbit with Opus.
Are the Hab computers running anything resembling a standard commercially-available OS? If so, at least Windows computers usually have a software synth built in, so NASA could send MIDI files (note instructions for the synth to play, rather than recorded audio), which offer something in the region of 100Kb for a 3-minute song instead of a 3Mb mp3.
I ask about the OS because if it's a custom NASA thing, I can't see them including stuff like that on a whim.
Also, Dark Side of the Moon is a masterpiece. No wiggle room there.
Would suggest Walter Murphy's A Fifth Of Beethoven, from the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack, as another passable moment of Disco in an otherwise vile genre. I'm So Excited, too.
I first learned what masochism was when I was about 7 because my parents forgot to skip Masochism Tango when it came on the CD during a car trip. Good times!
8782051 That's the ultimate song to spam animal right activist boards with after you hack them.
If you're looking for adventure of a new and different kind,
And on Mars meet pony astronauts who are similarly inclined,
Don't be nervous; don't be flustered; don't be scareddddddd!
Be prepared!
Just for fun, I looked up "solar eclipses on mars'" and it's actually quite fascinating. Because of their considerably smaller sizes, Phobos and Deimos do not completely block out the Martian sun when they cross its path (the Wikipedia photos that Opportunity took make it look sort of like one of those googly eyes you can find at craft stores).
The reason I mention this, is because I think it would be in interesting chapter if Mark and Co. experienced one at the Hab. Now, I don't know if an eclipse has ever occurred in canon FiM, and I certainly don't know if Equestrians even know what one is in either FiM or CSP, but it would make for a fun scenario if none of them knew what was going on. Also, I don't know if the Acidalia Planitia (and you won't believe how long it took me to find that in the previous chapters) can even have the shadow of one of Mars' moons cast upon it at all.
And, if something were to happen while the solar panels were getting somewhat less energy (first thing that came to mind was the Pathfinder shorting out), then that's just plot gravy.
I'd have to go back and look, but I think I have about 10-20gb of Dr. Demento radio programs, as well as a set of the vinyl albums one of the episodes aired on. (For some reason, it was cheaper for him to record two vinyl albums and send to the radio stations than other formats. The radio stations were *supposed* to throw them away, but you still see a few on Ebay, as well as the later CDs.)
8782109
It's possible they've mentioned Baltimare aloud in Mark's presence, considering that's where they've been sending their communications.
If Mark still thinks the ponies are innocent little flowers, just wait till Starlight gets ahold of Tom Leher and likes it :p Laughing at darkness would be a very Pinkie way to approach her problems, though she seems pretty well adjusted now anyway.
And I guess he still hasn't had the chat with her about 'recovered cult leader/time traveler' huh...
Love the banter between Mark and Commander Lewis. Loved that in the original as well for the couple moments we had it.
Except for his irrational hatred of Disco -- which is awesome in music form -- he has excellent taste. John Willaims, Weird Al, Tom Lehrer? Heck yeah!
8782174
Starting in the early 90s, NASA has generally used commercial OSes when possible, yes. Most probes sent to Mars seem to run VxWorks -- including Pathfinder and ALL of the rovers, the upcoming 2020 mission included. Most computers used by astronauts run some form of Linux, although a few Windows machines have been used. Some computers performing specialized tasks like calculating orbits and running life support run fully custom code.
MIDI files are delightfully small, and would probably be playable by the same software that Mark uses for Disco.
8782222
Considering how the sun and moon work in FiM, I would think the only eclipses that occurred in canon were with Nightmare Moon, and Discord probably did a few during his rule.
But yeah, having the solar panels short out could be interesting.
8782364
Well, my thought was to have the Hab using just enough power during that day's operations (because they would naturally use less at night, plus the solar panels wouldn't be charging anyway) that if all of the panels were cast under the shadow of one of the Martian moons, the sudden decrease of available power would be just enough for something to go awry.
Alternatively, the sudden spike of all the solar panels gaining more energy at once when the eclipse ended could cause something to happen as well.
Of course, I say all of this, with no practical knowledge of electricity, solar panels, and technical safety protocols, so take this all with a grain of salt. My point stands that a Martian eclipse, the solar panels, and their luck can be a good recipe for a setback
8782408
But there wouldn't be a big spike, because the shadow would gradually move off the panels, right?
I don't know much mechanics either, so yeah.
8782021
Um... dude? John Williams composed the scores for Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Jurassic Park, E.T. and the first few entries of Harry Potter (just to name a few of his works)... I think it's safe to consider the dude as Most Influential at this point. Nothing personal or anything, but most people don't pay as much attention to all the different composers as you and I might...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Williams
I am starting to hope some of those interview questions give the ponies a chance to shed their innocent image. I mean Dragonfly would probably try actively to keep it, and Starlight and Cherry are both weird obsessives, but Spitfire strikes me as the sort to have had a couple of properly debauched weekends here and there. Going by military types I've met before:
"What was your favourite way to spend free time on your homeworld?"
"Bar crawl."
"You mean like a juice bar?"
"What? No, what would be the point in a bar with no booze?"
"..."
"One time we got Soarin' so wasted that he thought we fucked, but actually he just a mounted a-"
"I think we'll end the interview there. Thanks for your time."
8782416
I imagine it would probably depend on how the panels were arranged; a line going east to west would be more gradual than a line going north to south, for example
8782416
There wouldnt be a spike above operational parameters, and the visual spike is just our eyes readjusting.
8782425
Reporter: Before you became involved in your world's space program, what did you do?
Starlight: Before the space program, I was personal protege to the mortal avatar of magic on my world. Before THAT, I was a cult leader who specialized in mass-scale mind control magic, and when that gig fell through because of Twilight and her friends, I attempted to avenge myself on said avatar by going back in time to stop the events that led to her and her friends and allies being able to oppose me. I accidentally destroyed all life on my world in one possible future, but she helped me to work out the personal issues that led me to that point, and, well, with Princess Sparkle's help, I'm basically doing much better now. My life is a work in progress. Anyway, want some coffee? It's Blue Mountain blend!
Reporter: <slack-jawed look of astonishment>
8782408 Except that Phobos only covers a very small part of the sun when it makes a transit (eclipse), and Deimos is barely visible. And in both cases, it's over in a few seconds, because both moons are bookin' it across the sky. Also, the hab has a large number of rechargeable hydrogen fuel cells. A transit isn't going to cause any power surge at all.
By the way, if Mark knew it existed, this likely would be good disco #4:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WFcmuhTTqoY
8782045
Aero-braking is used to reduce the orbital velocity in most every re-entry into Earth's and Mar's atmosphere. If done right several passes, just dipping into the atmosphere will lower the apoapsis until you have a reasonably close orbit.
wait wait wait hold up here.... why can't they just toss prob relay in space so that way they can keep up a steady internet speed for voice text emails and all that.
i mean it won't be that hard to drop handmade tiny probs in space that use a tiny on board computer power by the sun or battery
8782508 Also, aerobraking is free delta-V. It allows Hermes to travel faster and brake less using the main engines.