"I'm sorry, can you say that again?" Jet Stream asked, pausing in his sip from his tumbler as he set the glass back down on the dining table.
"I accepted EQSA's job offer. I start in two weeks." Apogee repeated, taking another bite of hay fries from her plate.
"I just don't understand why you don't want to come work with me, for EquestriAero" Jet said, leaning back in his chair.
EquestriAero was Jet Stream's aerospace and transportation company. He had founded it right out of college, and had several moderately successful ventures with it.
"Because it's not what I want to do. EQSA says with my training, I could be one of the first pilots for their new orbiter shuttles. Maybe even work on the ESS."
"The orbiters still depend on rockets to get into orbit. I've been designing completely reusable spacecraft. To break out of our atmosphere and explore the stars."
"That might be farther away than you want to admit, dad. You don't even have a working prototype yet."
Jet Stream looked across the table at his 24-year old daughter, the skyline of Las Pegasus lighting up the night in the windows behind her. Her mane style had barely changed from her teenage years.
"I just thought that I sent you to the best aerospace school in Equestria so I could pass my company, everything I've built, down to you."
"But that's not what I want. You know that, I've told you that. Dad, nearly all of your company's revenue comes from EQSA contracts and delivering supplies to the ESS. We're a lot farther away from exploring beyond High Equus Orbit than you think. Your spacecraft research and development slowed considerably when mom left. I don't want to wait." Apogee said, a hint of frustration coming into her voice.
"Do you think we can leave her out of this?" Jet replied, unable to hide his irritation.
"Why? You don't want to think about what she contributed to EquestriAero?"
"Can we not do this? Look, I think if we just sit down, and you tell me what they're offering you, I can give you a counter—"
"Stop! You're not going to do to me what you did to her!" She yelled, slamming her hooves down on the table, rattling the plates, glasses, and dinnerware on the table.
Jet Stream's eyes widened, shocked at his daughter's outburst.
"What...?" He asked, just above a whisper.
"For years, a very small part of me was wishing that maybe I misheard something, or maybe I misunderstood what she told me." Apogee said, looking down at her plate, shaking her head softly.
"What are you talking about?"
"I know I wasn't an accident." Apogee said, almost forcibly dragging the words from her vocal chords. "She told me what you did to her."
Jet Stream adjusted his sitting position, running a hoof back over his mane, as it went from red, to orange, to yellow as it went down his neck, and cleared his throat.
"Sweetheart, you're trotting on some pretty thin ice here."
"Deny it."
Eight years ago...
"Do you need anything else?" Apogee asked her mother, Delta Vee.
"No."
The pale blue, middle-aged pegasus mare sat in front of an open compartment of an old rocket engine, an empty amber bottle of Buck Lite beer on the edge of the contraption, with the 16-year old filly four feet from her, with a blowtorch, and welder goggles on the shop floor between the pair.
"Maybe another tool?" The teenage pegasus added.
No response, as her mother continued tinkering inside the compartment.
"Some water?" She offered, no doubt working out in the desert got a pony parched fast.
No answer.
"...A hug?"
This last question brought a pause to the sounds of tinkering as Delta finally looked over at her daughter.
"Alright, drop the act kid. I can tell you're up to something." Delta asked, irritated at the interruption in her work.
"What?" Apogee asked, wondering what she was being accused of.
"You and your dad are trying really hard to get back in my life. What for?"
"I... W-We just want to help."
"Help with what?"
"Y'know, life and stuff."
"Of course," Delta spat, scoffing. "He wants to be a hero and dig me out of the hole he put me in. He's over sixteen years too late for that. I'm good without him."
"...Sixteen?" Apogee asked, starting to connect the dots.
"Yes, and why? Does he need me again?"
"No, I need you."
"With all that money your dad makes, I doubt it. I bet that lawyer mare could be your mom too." Delta mused, returning to her work.
"Why are you this way?" Apogee asked.
"Because your dad—"
"This is not all about dad, mom. Why do you hate me?"
Again, the sounds of tinkering halted, and the shop fell silent, as Delta looked down at her daughter, eyes widening at the rather direct question.
"Uh, I... I don't hate you... But, your... dad..."
Whatever words Delta was looking for didn't come as her eyes averted from her daughter's gaze.
"For Luna's sake, Apogee." She said, dropping her wrench and getting up, walking past her daughter towards the open door.
"Where are you going?"
"Just give me some space, alright?"
Apogee watched silently as her mother walked across the lot towards the decrepit trailer, going inside and shutting the door, leaving the filly alone with the engine, tools, and empty bottle. She sat there for a moment as the wind moved through the piles of junk scattered across the lot. After another few seconds of thought, she followed her mom's footsteps back across the dusty lot to the trailer, and stepped inside, softly closing the door behind her, and turned to the bedroom door.
"Mom?" She announced herself, seeing Delta laying on the bed, turned away from her.
"Dad and I gave you space before, but you never got much better. What's wrong?" Apogee asked, slowly stepping towards the bed. Her mom shifted slightly but otherwise offered no reply.
"...You know we don't want to hurt you... Right? Have I done something to you? If so, I'm sorry."
Delta Vee remained silent.
"I just want to be with you... That's all."
Apogee put one hoof up on the bed, then two, then climbed up next to her mother.
"I'll be here if you need someone to talk to... Or if you don't, that's okay too."
Delta took a deep breath, then let it out in a sigh.
"You weren't part of the plan." She said, not moving or turning to the pony snuggled behind her.
"What?" Apogee asked, lifting her head off of the sheets.
"I get the feeling you're not going to stop picking, prodding, and digging. But you never know what your shovel is going to hit, so whether or not you think you're ready to hear it, so be it. You weren't part of the plan. My plan." Delta stated flatly.
"What do you mean?"
"I started dating your father in college. We always dreamed of exploring the stars, designing ships and engines that could break out of Equus' orbit and see things that the royals couldn't or wouldn't explain. We got the design down pretty good, but the execution was going to need a lot of work, not to mention years of development. Not even a month after your dad got his startup company up and running, I got a job offer from EQSA. I had the interview scheduled and everything... But your dad didn't want to let me go."
Apogee laid their silently, listening to her mother's story.
"Your father was always the smoothest talker. Convinced me to go out and celebrate everything we had accomplished together. Ever the easily-charmed featherbrain I was, I accepted. I got so fucking wasted and hungover that I slept right through the interview. I desperately tried rescheduling, but they wouldn't have it. Nine months later, out you came."
The filly offered no comment.
"I barely remember anything from that night, so I believed him when he said it was an accident. I moved in with him and decided to make the best of things. I don't know why his smidgen of conscience made him come clean four years later, but that's when the truth came out. He admitted that he got me drunk and knocked me up to keep me around. That's when I left."
Of the slivers of foalhood memories Apogee had, that night, that fight, was her worst one. She didn't remember words, but the yelling, screaming... That was burned in.
Delta scooted back and slid off the foot of the bed, getting up and walking out of the room, talking as she went.
"I wasn't ready to be a mom. I wasn't ready for you. I didn't want you. I had other plans. Career plans. Plans to do great things with my life. Your father didn't give a damn."
She opened the fridge, grabbed an ice cold bottle of Buck Lite, and took the tip of the bottle in her teeth, twisted the cap off, and spit it out onto the trailer floor.
"I can't be the mom you want, kid. We can't be the family you want us to be. Every time I look at you, the first thing that comes to my mind is what that bastard did to me. I look at you... And I see the future he stole from me."
Apogee simply stared at her mother from the bedroom as she took her first swig from the open bottle, the filly's eyes burning and wet, and her throat tightening.
"You can paint whatever picture you want of your dad. My picture of him was finished years ago."
With that, Delta Vee took her bottle of beer and pushed the trailer door open, returning to the shop and her LR79 rocket engine.
Apogee tried to get off the bed, but when her hooves hit the floor, her weak, shaking legs gave out, and with the lump in her throat threatening to cut off her air, she swallowed it, and a torrent of tears spilled down her cheeks as she sat on the floor against the bed.
"I had always wondered why you did that 180° with Diamond Gavel when you came back from that trip, why you didn't want to go back after that. When were you going to tell me that she told you all this?" Jet Stream asked his daughter.
"I decided I didn't want to intrude on her space if she honestly didn't want me there. If she wanted to get to know me, she knew where to find me. And I didn't say anything to you because for the longest time, I didn't want to believe it. I didn't want to believe you did something like that to her." Apogee answered, eight-year old tears threatening her eyes again.
"Fine. Yes, I know what I did. I saw my opportunity for a family, and I took it before it slipped away."
"Some family it turned out to be."
"You say that like I forced her out the apartment door, that I forced all that booze and coke and shit into her body." Her father shot back, his irritation finally seeping to the surface.
"No, but she wasn't your 'opportunity', dad. She was a pony with plans and dreams and-and aspirations of her own!"
"She had every chance to do amazing and groundbreaking things with me, with EquestriAero. I wanted to take care of both of you!"
"What if she didn't want to be taken care of? What if she wanted to earn her way? Make her way? Carve her own path?"
"Are you doing this just to fulfill your mom's broken dream? Or are you doing it to spite me because of what she put in your head?"
Apogee scoffed disappointingly.
"Maybe that's part of the problem. If somepony goes against your 'plan', it must be to deliberately spite you, right?"
"Now you're putting words into my mouth." Jet claimed defensively.
Apogee got up from her dinner and began to head over to the coat rack next to the front door. She had heard enough.
"Apogee, if I didn't make the choice that I did, you wouldn't be here. Did you ever think of that?" Jet asked, turning on his chair to face his daughter.
"You're absolutely right, dad. You are absolutely right." She said, grabbing her leather university letter jacket, beginning to put it on. "But that doesn't change the plain and simple fact that what you did to her was wrong."
Jet Stream raised his front legs in surrender as he returned to his dinner.
"We all have choices to make, and I made mine."
"Speaking of words in your mouth, did you ever apologize? Ever?" Apogee asked, adjusting her jacket, with all manner of award and certification patches going down both sleeves.
"She never gave me the opportunity."
"Again with 'opportunity'." The pale yellow pegasus mused as she turned the doorknob with her right wing and opened the front door to her father's penthouse. "Well, if you ever take the opportunity to stallion up and apologize, you know where she is."
The orange-colored Launch Entry Suit, or LES, was certainly the bulkiest set of clothing Apogee had ever worn. She was pretty sure she could compare it to a thick winter coat, had she ever worn one. But with the coldest temperatures recorded in Las Pegasus being well above freezing or even approaching chilly, she could only imagine. The LES was a partial pressure suit that was to be worn by all crew members during the launch of EQSA's new Space Shuttle Orbiters. The craft wouldn't be able to completely escape Equss' orbit, but they were the last crucial step in beginning the construction of the long-planned Equestrian Space Station, or ESS.
It was going to be the largest astronautic undertaking in EQSA's history since the Apono Program that landed ponies on the moon. The shuttle orbiter's large and expansive cargo bay made it possible to take the station's separate modules up to Low Equss Orbit, where they would then be assembled into a functioning space station. This assembly process reminded Apogee that the LES used for the shuttle launch was the least of her mobility woes. The Extravehicular Activity, or EVA suit was even bulkier and required even more time to get into... But still, she couldn't wait to get into it up there.
The pegasus stood as comfortably as she could as a couple suit technicians around her helped fasten and secure the suit, making sure everything was functioning properly. Around her in the massive fitting room were nearly identical holding areas where each of her six shuttle crew members were also getting helped into their suits, with various machines and racks and shelves of spare suit pieces lining the outer walls. She wasn't the very first shuttle pilot; the first shuttles with ESS modules began to launch barely a month into her employment with EQSA. It was six months of training, classes, simulations, and tests before she was fully qualified to sit at the controls of a space shuttle. But she tried her best to be in no hurry; the station would be years or maybe even decades in the making and using, and she was still participating in the opening months of assembly and operation. Being in a hurry would only complicate things. As exciting as her very first shuttle launch was, one of the most important things was to keep a calm and level head during all points of the mission.
But for as long as she had worked for this, as many times as she had practiced getting in and out of the LES and EVA suits and going over pre-flight checklists in preparation for today's launch, sometimes it was rather difficult to keep one's excitement down. As the suit techs lowered and began to fasten the helmet and visor, her eyes glanced to the left, to a steel flight-rated briefcase sitting on a small table in her fitting area, and her smile widened slightly.
After the solar panels already on board the shuttle, that case was her most precious piece of cargo that would be going with her into orbit. It took a bit of convincing with Mission Control, but her test scores, reputation, and simulator performance helped EQSA's most promising pilot get some personal items onto the shuttle manifest.
With a final twist, a metallic click and a soft momentary hiss of air, the helmet was locked and her suit was sealed.
"Alright Apogee, you're all set." The head suit tech told her, his voice muffled from the sealed suit's isolation. She gave him an affirmative nod, and she walked over to the table, and grabbed the case, before the techs began to escort her and her crew to the launch pad.
In just under four hours, she would be in orbit.
She hadn't spoken to her dad since she had accepted EQSA's job offer seven months ago, and if she was honest with herself, it was bothering her less and less as the weeks passed. Her childhood fantasies had faded years ago, and far more obtainable adulthood fantasies had taken their place.
Her imagination had seen her through her first 16 years; euphoric headspaces of a happy, functioning family. Birthday parties, vacations to destinations far away from the deserts of Las Pegasus. She would lose herself in them as she silently cried herself to sleep most nights, always under the blankets, out of earshot of her father.
Those fantasies stopped being a comfort after her mom had shared the truth with her; that she had been the result of a desperate attempt to glue a family together by one half, and an unwanted burden that had driven away the other half. Her mom gave her life, her dad gave her a roof and an education, and she had suddenly decided that those were going to have to be enough. She wasn't sure why their hatred for each other consistently overpowered their love for her and her desire for a normal family, but she decided that she wasn't going to be a burden, imagined or otherwise, to anypony again. Thus, her imagination gave way to pure determination.
For how hard she had pushed him and Diamond Gavel for mandatory visitation with Delta, Jet was perplexed when she came back from those two days completely uninterested in going back. She was afraid he would push the issue, but since she was coming up on her junior year of high school, he decided to accept the role of a single parent once again, and let her focus on her schoolwork.
It had worked amazingly. The previously academically-struggling Apogee saw her grades and test scores skyrocket almost overnight. She wasn't sure how her body turned heartache into brainpower, but you didn't look a gift horse in the mouth. But just when you think the past is over and done with, it sometimes had a nasty habit of rearing its head all over again, and one of the hardest-stinging moments of her late teenage years came right before she was going to graduate as valedictorian of Las Pegasus High School North. Jet thought he would take one last shot, and invite Delta to the graduation ceremony.
...Only to discover that she had died in her bed the week before. The coroner couldn't be absolutely certain what did her in first; the booze or the cocaine, both in her system at lethal levels at the time of autopsy... Or the lungs that looked like they came from a 70-year old chain smoker. There was no will, no next-of-kin listed, and barely a bit to her name; the junkyard property was virtually worthless; only its square acreage brought the value up to a laughable 5,000 bits.
When Apogee received the news, she locked herself in her room and had one of the longest cries since her mom revealed the circumstances of her birth to her two years prior. She fell asleep that night not really knowing how to feel. Though she had tried to ignore the hurt that had started to fester when her mom never came around, the last sliver of the exuberant filly hoping against hope for a family had vanished by the time she woke up the next morning.
It had taken her most of the next week to steel herself, but she assured the school administration that she could go on with commencement and her valedictorian speech. When she stepped off of that stage and halfheartedly into her father's arms, diploma in hoof, and scholarship offers all around, she decided that she would continue fighting. Not fighting for her family, but fighting for her future.
But first, there was the two months of summer to consider, and she was determined to use it to, literally, bury the past. While she told her dad that she was taking a summer sabbatical to see Equestria before she settled into college, in reality, she had taken the considerable sum of bits he gave her as a graduation gift, and headed just 40 miles south. She purchased the next-to-worthless deed to her mom's junkyard back from the city, and spent the majority of the bits having nearly every scrap of metal on the property melted down, fence and old trailer included.
Apogee's reminiscing was brought to a halt by the mid-morning sunshine and tropical wind of Cape Caneighveral as she and her crew stepped out of the Operations and Checkout Building at EQSA Headquarters, with the shuttle orbiter Harmony, hard docked to a trio of massive rocket boosters on the launch pad that dominated the horizon four miles away.
Jet Stream came to a soft landing on one of the low grassy hills surrounding Cape Caneighveral and the South Luna Ocean. It was off the official property of EQSA proper, wasn't quite as good a view as the grandstands 3.5 miles from the pad, but he caught the last flight here, and there were no seats left if he went through the Visitor Complex. Up on this hill, 5 miles from the pad, was as close he was going to get right now. He could still hear the loudspeakers, announcing that all crew members were on board and pre-flight checks had begun. In about an hour, those rocket boosters would be taking that shuttle into the sky.
The first test flights of the space shuttle were carried out every few weeks, and needed minimal supplies, as they spent very little time in orbit, if any. Once the actual orbital missions began, launches were often months apart, as they required more planning, fuel, and supplies.
EquestriAero had been a critical supplier for these first shuttle missions. His company had been responsible for most of the rocket fuel, as well as a good portion of the on-board consumables, and Jet had access to each shuttle's crew manifest, so he had known for several weeks that this would be Apogee's first spaceflight. Still struggling with his personal feelings about Apogee's professional choices, he had internally debated, clearly for too long, whether or not to come to this launch. Which was why he was back here on an isolated hill of grass instead of with all of the other spectators in the viewing area.
It was as good as he was going to get.
"Pre-flight checks complete, Mission Control. Everything is in the green." Commander Comma Cloud said into her headset flipping one final switch on the console above her.
"Copy that, Harmony, we are T-minus 3 minutes."
Commander Comma Cloud sat in the right front seat of the Harmony's cockpit. To her left, sat Shuttle Pilot Apogee. Behind them, sat their Payload Commander, Mission Specialist, Flight Engineer, and the two Payload Specialists that made up their crew of seven. With their current vertical orientation, behind them in the cargo compartment, were the secured pieces that would make up the second wing of the ESS's solar array, and enough crew consumables for the six months they would be up there.
Apogee had never been away from home for six months, not even for college; let alone off the planet for six months. For a split second it made her nervous. But then she thought back for a moment at what she had accomplished in just half a year. It was breathtaking and at times, unbelievable. She had stopped yearning for something most other fillies and colts had within easy reach, and in just under three minutes, plus another eight-and-a-half minutes of some of the most intense velocities imaginable, she would reach something only a few other ponies had achieved, something countless beings on Equus still considered unobtainable. The irony was not lost on her.
The cockpit shuddered for a moment as she looked out the window at the central and massive liquid rocket booster that the shuttle was attached to, and the sky waiting above them.
"Harmony, fuel pumps are primed, we are T-minus 2 minutes to launch." Apogee heard through her headset.
"Copy that, Control. 2 minutes." She replied, her eyes carefully monitoring fuel pressure as it steadily rose in preparation for ignition. It was like clockwork to them with all the times they had practiced. For the Commander and Payload Commander, this was routine, as they had prior spaceflight experience under their belt. But for the other five, this was a first, and would no doubt be the ride of a lifetime.
"Harmony, we are T-minus 60 seconds. All external access arms are retracted. Ignite the main engines at T-minus 5 and solid boosters at T-0." Mission Control instructed.
"Acknowledged, Control. We are go for launch."
"Launch in 10... 9... 8... 7... 6..."
Jet Steam saw the plumes of fire erupt from the shuttle at the five second mark. Those were nothing compared to the vibrations he felt from five miles away as waves of smoke and fire spilled from the solid rocket boosters, and slowly but surely, the shuttle began to ascend with its four and a half million pounds of fuel.
"We have liftoff!" He barely heard the loudspeaker exclaim over the roar of the rockets. The shuttle had cleared the tower in just under 8 seconds, and continued to accelerate towards the blue expanse above them, twin pillars of fire erupting from the solid boosters that left trails of smoke behind. The shuttle's trajectory began to slowly curve over the ocean, and it was nearly a speck against the sky when he saw the twin boosters separate and begin to fall towards the ocean, and the liquid booster and the shuttle it carried disappeared into the heavens by the two minute mark. Jet managed the faintest of smiles.
She had done it. She had actually done it.
Euphoria, pride, disappointment, and shock all clashed in him as he made his way off the hill down towards the Luna Space Center Visitor Complex. At the very least, the distance from which he watched the shuttle launch from all but assured he'd get to the building before all the other spectators at the main viewing area. The next flight back to Las Pegasus wasn't until this evening, so he might as well take a look around the visitor area of his biggest and most frequent contractor.
It was a five minute glide down to the complex, where he saw the large EQSA globe surrounded by shrubbery just outside the main entrance. To the right, was the Rocket Garden, where various launch vehicles from programs and missions passed were put on permanent display, for visitors to look at the beginnings of this new age for Equestria. He glanced at all of them, from the absolutely massive Selene V rocket, to smaller ones that had put the first satellites in orbit, even spotting one of the prototypes he and Delta had worked on in years past. With that, he headed into the main entrance.
After the front desk, the complex began to branch off immediately, depending on which part of EQSA's 40-year history you wanted to have a closer look at. Jet looked at the map directory, and found the Space Shuttle exhibit, second from the right, and made his way into the large room.
There were all manner of information kiosks containing pictures, diagrams, definitions, and scale models, all explaining and sharing the history and development of EQSA's latest venture in pony space travel.
"Fancy seeing you here, Jet." He heard a voice greet him from behind. He turned, and saw a colleague he'd become familar with.
"Solstice? I was wondering what had happened to you. Haven't dealt with you in months. What, you get tired of managing supplies and manifests?" He greeted in return, coming up and offering a wingshake to the fellow pegasus.
"In a manner of speaking. I needed a change of pace, so they transferred me to direct operations here at the Visitor Complex for a season or two. It's great. More and more ponies come every week. You just come from the launch?"
"Yep." Jet nodded. "My flight home isn't until tonight, so I figured I'd come in and see what you guys have done with the place."
"Well, take all the time you need, Jet. If you need anything just..." Solstice trailed off as he noticed he had lost the cream-coated pegasus' attention as he stared off towards the far wall of the room, where two dozen photographs hung.
Solstice followed their contracted supplier as he slowly stepped towards the wall that displayed the official portraits of the Space Shuttle Program's crew members. Jet's eyes were locked on the bottom right one. He raised a trembling hoof as he softly touched the bottom of the frame.
"You know her?" Solstice asked, aware that the aging stallion had been quite obviously affected by the picture. Jet barely nodded as his eyes started to become wet.
"My daughter." He answered, his voice filled with awe.
Jet took in all the details of Apogee's official portrait. She was in an orange spacesuit, her right hoof resting on her helmet, which was sitting in front of her on the table. The Equestrian national flag was presented behind her, as well as patched onto her suit's left sleeve. His gaze rose up to her face; her lively ruby eyes, and that smile... That infectious, pearly white smile overflowing with pure joy, and he found himself having to blink away tears.
"That was taken just yesterday. She just went up today on Harmony. Flight controllers say she's one of the program's youngest... and best. You should be proud, Jet. She's gonna do great things." Solstice told him, patting him on the shoulder.
"I bet she will." Jet replied, his voice quivering.
"Welp, I've got a building to run. Enjoy yourself, and let me know if you need anything. See you around, friend!"
Jet didn't notice Solstice turn and walk away, attending to employees and visitors alike. He just kept staring at Apogee's portrait, for exactly how long, he didn't know, but all of a sudden it felt like somepony had just dropped a boulder in his gut, as he turned, and hurriedly left the building.
The last vestiges of sunlight disappeared behind the Neighvada mountains, and the only thing that kept the brilliant display of stars at bay was the cloud cover, and a bit of the light pollution from downtown Las Pegasus some 40 miles away. One would have to get another 50 or so miles out to really appreciate the view.
By now, Apogee probably had a view unlike any other.
Jet Stream slowly walked down the otherwise empty dirt road headed south, one of his old black turtlenecks and a light jacket keeping him warm against the evening wind. The only light keeping him out of pitch black were the traces of moonlight coming through the intermittent cloud cover, and a street lamp overhead every 200 feet or so. The only sounds tonight were his hooves brushing the dirt, the occasional barking dog as he passed a cluster of shanties, the rustle of trees, or the occasional tumbleweed as they crossed the road on their journey through the Neighvada Desert.
He reached into the left inner pocket of his jacket and pulled out a small flask-shaped glass bottle, containing barely a half pint of Appleoosa Honey Whiskey. He couldn't remember the last time he drank before tonight as he took a sip before returning it to inside his jacket, but it seemed to be the only thing that even slightly dulled the worsening pain in his stomach. He wasn't drunk, nowhere close, just a little buzzed. He hadn't had a single bite to eat since his flight to Cape Caneighveral. Not at the visitor complex, or on the flight back, or even when he got home. He had completely lost his appetite, and the bags under his eyes made it clear that he hadn't slept in over 48 hours. All he had was water and whiskey, and all he heard were voices in his head, from months, years, and decades past.
'Stop! You're not going to do to me what you did to her!'
'I know I wasn't an accident.'
'Some family it turned out to be.'
'If you ever take the opportunity to stallion up and apologize, you know where she is.'
He looked up, and realized that he had arrived. He almost didn't recognize it, but the single pole with the dozen floodlights 50 feet above illuminated the entire lot, along with the three halogen lights that lit up the sign bolted above the entrance.
VEE'S JUNKYARD AND SPACESHIP PARTS
What he remembered as a rusty old sign had been restored to brand new, or at least it had four-and-a-half years ago, when Apogee had told him what she had actually gone and done over the summer before leaving for college. The sign, and the floodlights above were the only thing he remotely recognized about the place.
The barbed wire fence had been removed, and 30 desert palms now bordered the property line where it had been. The arched workshop, the magnet crane, the pile of scrap, the fuel tank, the trailer... They were all gone. Every piece of metal had vanished and it was an entirely empty dirt and sand lot surrounded by the palms...
...Except for the very center.
Jet's lips began to dry as he slowly stepped under the sign and onto the lot proper.
'Psst. What's the answer to question number 7?'
Apogee had every piece of metal on the lot melted down, compressed, and milled into construction materials. She had cremated her mom's remains, and buried her in the very center of the lot. With those recycled materials, she had built a small launch pad on top of the burial plot.
'L4 and L5.' 'Thank you. Also, would you like to go for waffles after the exam?' 'Maybe if you pass me the answer to question 18, yuppie.' 'It's the square root of molecular weight over combustion chamber pressure. And my name is Jet Stream.' 'See you after class then, Jet. I'm Delta.'
He took another step closer, and saw the silver plaque that had been bolted onto the base of the pad.
HERE RESTS DELTA VEE ENGINEER, BUILDER, AND MOTHER 1954 - 1994 CE
'Move to my place. You won't need a job, and we can live together, work on the project, have a family, start our own company...' 'We've already discussed this, Jet, I'm sorry. I loved working and spending time with you, but I can't miss this interview. It's what I've always dreamed of.'
Jet's heart crept up to his throat as his eyes rose to the steel floor of the pad, where an old Rocketdyne LR79 engine sat. It had been scrubbed clean, polished, and weather-sealed to protect against the elements, looking as if it was connected to the rest of an unseen rocket, ready to shoot for the stars.
'You lied to me for four fucking years! You forced a foal into our life to keep me around. You said it was an accident...' 'I did what I thought was best for both of us' 'Best for YOU! I didn't get a choice.' 'You didn't give me a choice either. You were going to leave the city, the project, and us!' 'YOU USED ME!'
The last three words of that memory was the breaking point, as Jet, legs shaking, dropped to all four knees and lowered his head as he let out a guttural wail of agony, and began sobbing uncontrollably as his whole body heaved.
"Oh gods... I'm sorry Delta... I'm so sorry... I was so dead set in my my plans for a family and a business... I was so obsessed with my dream that I destroyed your dream... I destroyed you, to get it. It was so presumptuous of me to assume that you'd never come back. Maybe you would have, maybe you wouldn't have, what does it matter? It was supposed to be your choice, your life, and I took that away from you... And... And..."
And as his words failed him, he knew there was absolutely nothing he would be able to do to fix any of it. It was a quarter century too late.
"...And I should have let you go..."
There was nothing more to say as he knelt there baring his sins and soul to his long departed ex. His eyes burned, his throat was sore, his heart ached... But the pain in his stomach started to slowly lessen. He shuddered for a few moments, and then slowly got to his hooves. Sniffling and wiping away the last of his tears, he pulled out the bottle of whiskey and removed the cap to pour it out, but then paused at the last moment.
No. Not here. He wouldn't taint this hallowed ground with another single drop of this poison.
As he capped and pocketed the bottle again, he began to wonder how he could possibly make up for his mistakes to Apogee. As his eyes settled on the LR79 again, the painful answer came to him.
Don't.
He was emotionally traumatized. He had made a desperate split-second decision 25 years ago with his girlfriend, doing what he thought was best, and it slowly destroyed them.
He wouldn't dare do the same to his daughter. No matter what he thought was best, he needed to stop. It would hurt like hell, but he knew the best way would be to let her go. Maybe she would come back. And if she didn't, that was okay too.
He took a deep breath, and looked up at the starry night as the clouds began to clear. A tiny mote of light, the ESS, soared across the sky.
Jet Stream sat at his dining table, with just a glass of water, having finished his dinner an hour ago. He had gotten his appetite back after departing Delta's junkyard a week ago, and he believed he had given himself enough time to collect his thoughts, and properly explain himself to his only daughter.
He took a deep breath, then grabbed the pen next to his glass, and pressed it to the parchment on the table in front of him.
My dearest Apogee,
I hope this letter finds you well, and that you are soaring to new heights in your career.
I'm not entirely sure you want to hear from me, but I wanted you to know that I saw your shuttle launch, and that I visited your mom's gravesite. It is absolutely beautiful what you've done to the place. It made me realize some very harsh and painful truths about the things that I've done.
You are my greatest creation, Apogee, but it will never change the undeniable fact that what I did to your mother was desperate, selfish, and utterly cruel. That it took me 25 years to realize that will haunt me for the rest of my days. Even though I've been the best father to you that I thought I could be, it's no recompense for how I took the future she wanted away from her. By some miracle, your heart, joy, and imagination helped you weather the storm of our destructive relationship.
If you'll allow me, I would like to donate whatever time or materials that are needed to preserve and maintain her grave and the surrounding property.
I love you more than anything, Apogee. I hope you know that, and that I am very proud of you, and everything that you've accomplished.
Love always, Dad
With the assembly and installation of six large solar panels onto the Equestrian Space Station's second truss, the primary mission objective of Apogee and her crew was complete. It had taken three months of slow, methodical work, but now the ESS had its first reliable source of renewable energy. They were actually taking energy from sunlight and turning it into electricity.
With the first half of their mission complete, the secondary mission objective for the following three months would be ensuring that the solar panels would last, and continually provide stable power to the station, and fixing any complications that arose. But the next three days were going to be alternating free days for two crew members at a time, and Apogee was selected as one of the first pair. Knowing exactly what she wanted to do, she was approved for an unscheduled spacewalk, and had spent the next 12 hours in the decompression chamber to prepare. In order to avoid the work-hampering and life-threatening dangers of depressurization sickness, you had to slowly acclimate yourself to those conditions over half a day or more, and become accustomed to breathing the pure oxygen that the EVA suit delivered. She had killed the time with a good book and a few drinkable meals, and now, she was nearly ready, as she finished putting the EVA suit on. It required her tail to be braided and tucked down into the left pant leg, and she wouldn't have the use of her wings, which were strapped down under the suit for safety reasons, but that was one of the oddities about working in space. Even if they solved the problem of complete freedom of movement one day, flapping your wings in the vacuum of space would do absolutely nothing. It was all done with microthrusters and tethers.
With the suit sealed and ready, she looked over at the briefcase that had sat next to her in the chamber for the last half day. She knelt down as best as the EVA suit would allow, and using both of her front hooves, she opened the case, revealing a small, hoof-sized steel canister, and a hoof-held launcher, specifically customized for said canister. It resembled grenade launchers that you would see in various military outfits down on Equus, except it fired farther and faster; fast enough to hopefully achieve the result she desired. She picked the launcher up, turned it end over end to make sure it was in good working order, and cracked open the barrel, where desired projectiles were loaded. Seemingly satisfied, she turned her attention to the canister still safely secured in the foam confines of the case.
A symbol and letter had been engraved onto the side.
▲V
Using both EVA-protected hooves, she lifted the canister containing a small portion of her mom's cremated remains that weren't buried under her junkyard, and carefully slid it into the firing chamber of the launcher, and after triple-checking that the safety was on, closed the barrel, and strapped the launcher to her side before turning to the waiting airlock. She activated the headset inside her helmet.
"ESS Control, this is Apogee at Decompression 1 for radio check." She said.
"Apogee, this is ESS Control, we are reading you five by five." Commander Comma Cloud replied from the central module of the station a few rooms back.
"Copy that, Control. EVA suit is sealed and operational, oxygen supply is reading 8 hours, I am go for the spacewalk."
"Acknowledged, proceed into Airlock 1 and seal the internal bulkhead door."
"Copy, proceeding to Airlock 1."
Apogee stepped forward, hearing nothing but the soft reports of her hoof steps and the spinning fans and water moving through the tubes of her EVA suit. She twisted the central locking mechanism of the bulkhead door open and stepped inside, closing it behind her and sealing the door.
"Control, this is Apogee, I am in Airlock 1, internal bulkhead door is sealed. Repeat, internal bulkhead is sealed."
"Acknowledged, Apogee. Internal bulkhead door seal confirmed. Standby for depressurization."
Apogee heard a series of metallic clicks, and felt the air slowly escape the room for ten seconds, followed by silence, except for the mechanics of her suit.
"This is Control, depressurization complete. You are go for external spacewalk. Secure your crew tether, and open the external bulkhead when ready. Enjoy yourself out there, Apogee."
Apogee took a breath, then stepped forward, fastening the suit's 50-foot tether to the titanium ring in the ceiling in front of the door, then twisted the lock of the external bulkhead, and slowly pushed the door open, revealing the endless expanse of space.
No doubt the flight surgeon down in Hoofston noticed her heart rate spike momentarily. She had seen the star field from the Harmony's cockpit window after they exited the atmosphere. She had seen it time and again over the past three months as they installed solar panels. But she never, ever got used to the amazing beauty of space.
She leaned forward slightly, leaning her head out of the airlock, and looked down at the curvature of Equus looming below her. The speed at which the continents, islands, and oceans passed under them was the only indication of the station's speed of more than 17,000 miles per hour.
As the sun dipped behind the horizon and the ESS passed into the dark side of Equus, even more stars became visible, and would be there for the next 90 minutes, until the sun rose on the opposite side.
She placed her front hooves on both sides of the open airlock, and ever so gently pulled forward, and she slowly floated out of the airlock into the surrounding vacuum. She spread her front and back hooves out and let herself float outwards. With Equus directly behind her orientation, it was just billions of stars in front of her. Her lips widened in a smile, and tears beaded down her cheeks.
Sixty seconds later, she felt tension for the first time since leaving the airlock as the tether pulled taut. She slightly turned a dial on her chestpiece, opening her rear microjets to 10% thrust, keeping her at the tether's max length. The tether could withstand tension hundreds of times stronger, so she was in no danger of breaking it; the light forward thrust was mainly to slowly negate the recoil from the launcher and keep her from bumping back into the station once she fired it off.
Moving slowly to keep her jets oriented, she took hold of the launcher strapped to her side, and made sure it was physically connected to her suit's utility belt. She brought it up, and took aim, slowly bringing her right hoof to the firing lever. She gently pulled it, and as much as she expected a 'thwump!' sound, there was none, as this was the vacuum of space. Instead, a ring of smoke expanded from the tip of the barrel, and the canister shot off into the beyond.
One of two things would happen; either the planet's gravity field would catch it, and it would spend an inordinate amount of time orbiting Equus somewhere between the station and the moon... Or it would escape, completely break orbit, and a part of Delta Vee would head out into the endless expanse of the galaxy.
She had long decided that either outcome was appropriate.
With a tearful smile, she gave a slow wave to the canister.
