Regrets and Reluctance

by Emeral Bookwise

First published

Lunaverse: In the after math of the crisis crossover, an imprisoned Twilight awaits her trial when she receives an unexpected visit from an old friend.

Silverstar, formerly sheriff of Appaloosa, had one job: find the fugitive Twilight Sparkle and bring her safely back home to her family -- He failed.

She was caught, but not by him. Guilt ridden, the weary trail worn stallion comes to visit the unicorn as she awaits trial for her crimes. However, one promise can all to easily turn into an excuse to avoid another.

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• Semi-canon tie-in story set in RainbowDoubleDash's Lunaverse.
• Editing advice provided by FinalFan.
• Cover art elements compiled from Twilight Sparkle vector art by Hawk9mm, and an image of Silverstar edited from screenshots of the show.

An Overdue Promise

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Twilight Sparkle turned the page of her book by hoof, an annoying inconvenience, but with her magic suppressed she didn't have much alternative. While the black & white striped uniforms were mandatory for all prisoners, the horn ring was not. Usually it was only reserved for dangerous criminals, which Twilight wasn't… or at least had no intent to be. She certainly had enough magical prowess to be were she inclined to make trouble, but she'd willingly turned herself in after all and had been entirely cooperative ever since.

Still, she was considered a legitimate escape risk all the same after having spent three months on the run as a fugitive, especially as she was also highly adept at teleportation — not to mention knowing more than a few less than legal spells to boot. It was only to be expected the guards would take appropriate precautions, and Twilight even appreciated it, if only because it took away any nervous temptations she might have otherwise had as the date of her impending trial loomed ever closer. Regardless, she certainly hoped that whatever the outcome of that trial, she wouldn't be stuck with the nullifier ring for however many years it took to serve out her sentence.

The sound of her cell door's heavy latch caught her attention as a guard stepped in and announced, "You have a visitor, Miss Sparkle."

As Twilight was escorted to the visitor's commons she was at least glad that since being moved to Canterlot she'd been evaluated as cooperative enough to not need to wear hoof shackles for such excursions. She was, however, still curious as she wondered who had come to see her. Her brother and parents all took it in turn to make sure at least one of them visited her every three days. The last visit was yesterday, however, so it was far too soon to be any of them.

Her question was quickly answered though when upon entering the commons she recognized a familiar brown coated stallion wearing a black stetson. Sheriff, or rather just Silverstar, sat steadfastly at a nearby table where Twilight shortly took a seat as well.

A moment or two passed in awkward silence before finally he spoke, "Yer lookin' good, Twi."

"Liar," she retorted with a subtle, but genuine smile, "I don't need to be a fashion expert to know these uniforms are absolutely hideous."

"Heh… true, but I only meant that it looks like they been treatin' ya well and good."

"If anything they might be treating me just a little too good. I actually had to specifically request a transfer to a non-VIP cell. I mean, seriously, if I wanted a cozy room with all the comforts of home, well, I could have just let my parents post bail like they had wanted to."

There was another moment or two of silence before Silverstar again broke it. "Ya know I met your mother, but I reckon as you ain't seem all that surprised to see me that she already told you 'bout that."

Twilight nodded. "She also told me how she had to sell Puissance a pair of rare magical artifacts to do so. Bit of a shame; I'd always taken it for granted that I could just study them any time I wanted, but now even if Puissance is ostensibly placated, I doubt she'll ever let me near any of her precious artifacts again."

The stallion hung his head shamefully. "Reckon I'm sorry about ever puttin' yer mother to the trouble, even if I never asked for the help in the first place. Frankly, none of this sits right with me. I was s'posed to be the fall pony, but here I am sittin' free while yer the one stuck in here behind bars. A pretty little lass like ya should have the whole rest of her life to look forward to."

"Don't talk like that. I'll be just fine, I mean, things aren't so good right now, and my mistakes are probably going to cost me a few years too, but I've still got the whole rest of my life ahead of me after that… a real life too, not like all those months I wasted trying to come up with one ridiculous acquittal scheme after another."

"Reckon I'm sorry for that too. Maybe there weren't ever nothin' I coulda done to talk ya out of that whole thing with the amulet, but I shoulda at least o' been the one to bring ya in in afterwards just like I promised yer mother."

"It's not really your fault though; somepony else just happened to find me first."

"Not exactly…"


The resounding smack echoed across the streets of Poniszawa as the uniformed Shadowbolt stumbled backwards. Watching from a nearby alley, Silverstar was more than impressed; he knew Twilight was a magical powerhouse, but he hadn't expected the unicorn to have an equally impressive right-hook.

Silverstar would have stepped in at that moment to try and salvage this fiasco, but before he could Twilight was all too quickly surrounded on all sides by the local police. The stallion was torn; he knew the officers were just doing their job, but he wasn't about to let them use those batons to forcibly subdue the poor girl either. Fortunately, he never had to make a choice in the matter, as with a sudden *pop*, the fugitive unicorn vanished.

As the police whirled around in confusion, frantically shouting between each other, Silverstar marched purposefully over to the Shadowbolt, his supposed partner. "What in tarnation was that fool move? Didn't we agree that before ya tried anything rough I was s'posed to get a chance to talk Twi down nice and peaceful like!"

The Shadowbolt scarcely seemed to pay Silverstar more than a fleeting bit of attention even as he replied, "After the local authorities got involved and tipped the target off prematurely I had to adapt on the fly; I saw an opening so I took it."

"Fat lot of good that seemed to do ya, and now she could be who knows how many miles away. It'll probably be weeks 'fore we even get close to findin' her again."

"If you'd bothered looking up, you'd already know the situation is under control."

"What that s'posed to…" as Silver star looked up though he quickly understood. The entire sky was obscured by a glowing translucent dome. "Why I never… but how?"

"Not how, who? This could only be Captain Armor's signature spell."

"You mean Twi's brother can do… all this? I mean I knew the girl was amazing herself, but…"

"This is nothing, you should have been there to see the time Captain Armor held the Tyrant Sun at bay, but enough gawping. The target's brother has helped narrow our search area; best we take advantage quickly before she has time to—"

There was a sudden pulse that caused the shield to ripple. As Silverstar watched in amazement he asked, "Is it just me, or that shield shrinking?"

The Shadowbolt smiled "It would seem Captain Armor is already one step ahead. Now we'll only need to go to the center of the spell, that's where we'll find both him and soon enough the target as well."

Following the shield as it collapsed inwards was simple enough, and by the time they reached its center Twilight was already contained in a dome just barely bigger than herself. Now would be Silverstar's chance to reason with the girl, but before he could approach he hesitated as he caught sight of Captain Shining Armor. It was following the stallion that had led the Shadowbolt and himself to Poniszawa in the first place.

Even if Silverstar hadn't already known who this pony was, the coat which was same color as Vicereine Velvet's would have been a good tip off. Most of all, however, was the stallion's cutie mark which would leave no doubt. There atop the outline of a blue shield was the exact same starburst as adorned Twilight's own flanks. While Silverstar regained his composure, his Shadowbolt partner stepped forward.

"Your assistance is much appreciated, Captain Armor; now, if you would kindly remand custody of the target to—"

"That target is my sister, and you're sunstroked if you think I'm just going to let you drag her away in chains like a common criminal."

"I assure you it's not my desire to make any unnecessary scene, and I fully intend to handle this unfortunate situation with due discretion."

"Discretion? Is that what you call having the police storm the inn she was hiding at?"

"No, it was merely an unfortunate coincidence that some local citizen tipped them off before a proper covert arrest could be made."

"Well, forgive me if the idea of you blackbagging my sister doesn't really sound like any better alternative. Either way, I caught her and so now I'll be the one to bring her safely into custody."

"Unacceptable, even if you weren't presently off duty, your relation to the target could leave you emotionally compromised, I must insist you stand down."

"Take it up with the your director general if you like. As heir apparent to the Latigan viceroyship, I'm asserting local jurisdiction in this matter. So I'm ordering you to stand down."

"With all due respect to your title, you must surely also be aware the Shadowbolts act under authority of the Princess herself, only a unanimous vote by all three viceregal seats can countermand—"

"Best do as the boy says, Haymaker," interceded Silverstar, "Less'n ya want to be on the receivin' end o' yer own namesake from both these siblin's in the same day."

The Shadowbolt eyed him coolly, but it was Shining Armor who was first to speak. "I don't need any help from my mother's bounty hunter."

"Now see here, Shining, if'n ya know who I am ya know that I ain't in this for the money. I want that there sister o' yours safe and sound at home just as much as you do."

"How dare you pretend to understand what it is me and my family are going through!"

"Look I don't know what I did to get on yer bad side, but yer mother—"

"Should have left cleaning up this whole mess to me in the first place! I wanted to go looking for Twilie myself, but then mother not only tells me to stay out of it, she hires one of the very ponies that had been leading her own daughter astray to do the job instead."

At that Haymaker interjected, "You should have listened to the vicereine, Captain Armor. She was only looking out for your best interests."

"And if I'd done that my sister would still be on the run right now instead of safely contained."

"And again, your assistance is—"

"Shut up!" exclaimed Silverstar glancing first at Haymaker and then to Shining Armor, "Both of ya. This bickering ain't solvin' nothin', and meanwhile that girl's probably workin' herself into a right mighty panic. We was always plannin' to try and talk her down first, no reason we can't at least let her own brother try doin' that much. We can worry about who actually takes custody of her later."

Haymaker frowned but ultimately acquiesced as he stepped aside silently. Shining Armor was just as coldly silent, giving neither stallion any further acknowledgement and instead just slowly walking over to the dome that contained his imprisoned sister.

For his own part Silverstar just turned to walk away in the other direction.

"And where do you think you're going?" the Shadowbolt called after him.

"Don't reckon that's much o' yer business anymore. I was hired for one job, and now that job's done; ain't get no simpler than that." After taking a few more steps he paused before adding, "If'n ya see Velvet, tell her to just keep the rest of her money. Wouldn't be right me taking any more of it seeing as I wasn't the one to bring her daughter home after all."

He didn't really know where he was going, but right now Silverstar just wanted to wash his hooves of this whole affair. In a way he was glad that Twi's brother had taken charge. Even though he'd always known it was for the best to help catch the girl before she could get herself in any more trouble, he'd always felt just a little dirty for agreeing to it.

But now all of that was finally over and done, of course that only brought him back to the even more nerve racking consequences of his other promise. Was he really ready to settle down with Loo—

A rustling distracted him, as he noticed the wind picking up, and fast. Listening closely he also heard an unearthly penetrating hum that sent every hair on his coat standing on edge. This was no natural breeze; this was magic and that could only mean one thing. "Aww no, Twi! What's that fool girl doing now?"

Turning about face Silverstar galloped back to the center of town as fast as his hooves could carry him. He could see her, at the center of it all was Twilight. Not only her horn, but her whole body was glowing with more power than he ever imagined any one pony could possibly be capable of. He tried to call out to her, but his words were only carried away by the ever increasing gale.

What happened next was not the familiar pop of Twilight's typical teleportation spell, instead there was thunderous crash. Shining Armor's shield spell cracked and then shattered, not outward, but instead imploding in upon itself. Streams of the guard captain's magic were siphoned off from his horn and into the center of the collapse, before he managed to shut off the spell. The white-coated stallion fell to the ground as he did so, whether purely from exhaustion or more so from a broken heart none could say, for his sister was gone without any trace to suggest she'd ever even been there at all.


"So you were there the whole time?" Twilight asked.

Silverstar held his hat over his chest as he hung his head shamefully, "Fraid so, but I reckon it ain't surprisin' if'n ya was a bit too panicked to notice. Regardless, there ain't nothin' I can ever say to tell ya just how sorry I am that I didn't do my job right and talk you down the way I was s'posed to."

A hoof stroked his shoulder, and the stallion looked up to see Twilight leaning across the table to console him. "There's absolutely nothing for you to be sorry about, Silverstar. If even my own brother couldn’t make me see reason back then, do you really think you'd have been able to do any better?"

"I shoulda at least tried; maybe if—"

"And maybe if I'd never been so preoccupied with my own ideas of what is and isn't magic, I'd have never need to do something so stupid as drag a starbear into the middle of a peaceful little town just to show Trixie up. Were it not for simple quirk of fate, she and I could have even found our entire positions reversed." The unicorn smiled softly, even if her eyes were laced with bittersweet regrets. "If there's one thing I learned after that incident in Poniszawa, however, it's that there are just too many endless possibilities to waste time worrying about what ifs."

"I s'pose so," he said as he placed his hat back on his head. Then taking a moment to really look at Twilight, he couldn't help but see just how much she'd really changed. Even at her best, he'd never seen the unicorn so calm and composed. "I guess wherever it was you went off to that day it must o' been a real eye opener."

"You have no idea," she replied with a short chuckle, before glancing at a nearby clock, "But I don't think the guards will let us have nearly enough time for me to tell you the whole thing, but maybe someday, after I've served out my sentence."

The stallion sighed, but did his best to smile back, "Reckon that'll be somethin' to look forward to. Anyway, I guess I've visited long enough to say everythin' I needed to. Keep safe, Twi."

As he got up to leave, Twilight added one last parting request, "Oh, and be sure to say hi to Loosy and Woody for me."

Silverstar paused in his steps, as he glanced back. He didn't speak a word, didn't have to, his eyes already betraying everything.

It took a moment for Twilight to realize implication, but… "That's where you're going next, right? To meet up with Loosy and help her with the orphanage like you promised?"

Now it was Silverstar's turn to be taken by surprise. "But how did you know about…?"

"She came to visit me the other day. We had a nice chat about it all, but in truth, I think she was only here because she hoped you would be close by."

"Well, she was right about at least that much," the stallion cursed himself as he admitted the truth, "I'd been watchin' this place since I first got word ya'd been captured. Took me this long to work up the nerve to finally talk to you in person."

"But… if you'd already knew she'd been here then why…?" Twilight's question trailed off as she saw how Silverstar averted his gaze. "You're avoiding her, aren't you?"

He didn't respond, didn't need to, his silence was already damning confession enough.

"This isn't right Silverstar; I thought you never broke your promises."

"I never do, but I promised to go see her again after I found ya and brought you safe back home with your family. I failed to deliver on that promise, so how can I rightly keep my other one?"

"That sounds more like an excuse, and believe me, I should know. I made far too many of those myself to avoid having to fess up to my own family for all those months. Don't you go repeating my mistakes with Loosy. Even if you've been avoiding her this whole time, I'm sure she'll forgive you."

"I know she will, but that's the problem. I don't deserve her forgiveness, and she deserves a better stallion than me to take care o' her."

"I don't think she wants any other stallion." Twilight breathed deeply before she continued with a sigh, "Look, I can't really understand why it is you're being so stubborn about this, but when it comes to promises… well, I made one to myself on the day I surrendered to the police: No more running, no more hiding."

"Reckon that won't really be a hard promise to keep while yer locked up in here."

"That's not the point. I don't mean just running and hiding from the law, I mean from myself. I knew I was making a mistake when I ran away from Ponyville, and deep down I always knew that almost everything I did afterwards only further compounded that mistake, but I just couldn't admit it. I tried making excuses, tried to pretend I just needed to set things right on my own terms so I wouldn't have to face my family in shame. The more lies I told myself, however, the more I actually started to believe them. That's no way to live, Silverstar."

"It aint the same with me, Twi," he said with a heavy sigh as he looked distantly away towards a high set barred window. "I already know exactly what will happen. If'n I go see Loosy, I won't ever be able to bring myself to leave her side again."

"Would that really be such a bad thing," Twilight answered with a smile. "If the two of you make each other happy, then why shouldn't you stay together?"

"I ain't the kind of pony that deserves to be happy."

"Every pony deserves a chance to be happy."

"I… I just don't know Twi. Seems silly after everything else I've done in my life, but nothin' has ever scared me so much."

"Sometimes the things we're most scared of, are also the most important."

"But what if it don't work out, what if I only end up hurtin' her instead?"

"What if it does work though? You'll never know if you don't try. Don't you think that both of you deserve the chance to find out?"

Letting out a last sigh as he resumed walking away, "I'll think about."

Calling after him, Twilight added her own final correction, "Don't just think about it; do something about it."


Silverstar stepped into the yard outside the Lost Hearts orphanage, as he did two foals ran past. One, an earth pony colt with a dark brown coat and bright lime-green mane, turned his head and blew a raspberry at the filly chasing behind him. The white-coated pegasus was still too young to fly, but with a rapid fluttering of her tiny wings she added speed to her gallop, her mane leaving behind a streak of pastel pink, yellow, and green as she surged forward to tackle the fleeing colt. The two tumbled over each other giggling playfully all the way.

Smiling as he walked up the path, Silverstar approached a unicorn mare with a pale lilac coat and icy-blue mane who was watching the children play.

"Beggin' yer pardon, ma'am, but is Miss Loosy here?"

The mare didn't answer at first, seeming lost in some distant introspection. Then she blinked, before speaking in a slow distracted voice, "You know, it's funny. I've lived here longer than I can remember, but I don't think I ever really watched the children play, not even when I was one myself… never really saw the point in such… frivolity. But now, watching them like this, it makes me feel…"

The mare's gaze had seemed to drift away again, so Silverstar inquired further, "Feel what?"

Blinking again as she brought her eyes back into focus, the mare seemed to struggle with the answer, "I… I don't quite know… I'm not really used to feeling anything at all.”

It was hard to read the mare's eyes, but the rest of her face gave him a good guess. "Well, yer smilin', so maybe ya feel happy."

"Happy?" the mare questioned as she brought a hoof up to trace her mouth. "Hmm… I think I like being happy."

Silverstar adjusted the bandana around his neck, this conversation only getting all the more uncomfortable as it went along. He didn't really want to think about what the former matron of this orphanage might have done to make the poor mare like this. Clearing his throat he tried getting back to the reason he'd come in the first play, "So, about Miss Loosy?"

"Oh… right." Seeming to have found something to focus on the mare took on an increasingly formal tone as she spoke. "Ms. Screws is out grocery shopping with her son right now. If you're here to inquire about adopting you can take a seat in the lounge until she returns, or if you don't have time to wait, I can take your name and make a later appointment at your earliest convenience."

"Never mind," he said fast losing his nerve, "I probably shouldn't be here in the first place."

No sooner had he turned to leave, however, than he found his hooves frozen in place. There at the front gate, was Loosy, the angel of his heart. He stared at her, and she stared back at him as she walked slowly up the path. Woody followed not far behind, a beaming grin plastered across his face.

"I… that is…" Silverstar stammered. "I'm sorry I'm late, but…"

Loosy placed a single hoof over his lips, "Shh… it's okay; you're here now, and that's all that matters. You'll be staying for dinner of course?"

"Reckon I might be stayin' longer than that."

"Good," she said walking past him and continuing down the front path. Pausing at the door, Loosy glanced back over her shoulder before adding with a wink, "Oh, but we are a little short on beds, so I hope you don't mind sharing."

The old stallion's cheeks burned red at Loosy's forwardness, yet it only made him love her all the more. It made him feel…

The lilac unicorn mare from earlier interposed her own thoughts, "I think you like being happy too."