Hating

Hating

Everything was dark. The only light source were the stars that were hanging in the endless black sky. Soft, slow music was playing inside her head, almost subtle enough to not be heard. But it was there. She knew it.

The slow music brought painful memories back, causing a swift rush of tears to pour out of a familiar purple unicorn's violet eyes. Of waiting outside of Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorn's, waiting for a date she feared wouldn't come. Slow dancing to the song she would never be able to stand hearing again. Looking into his red eyes, seeing the hurt and utter betrayal in that he showed her. The sinking feeling as her only friend and love leaving her behind, so terribly and utterly alone.

Twilight Sparkle was walking on the outskirts of Ponyville, wanting to clear her mind of the nightmares that had suddenly came each night for the past month or so, without any warning. It seemed that he was the only thing on her mind recently. She didn't want to think about him. But all she could think was how much she hated him for leaving her. She understood why he left her. And she hated herself for hating him for leaving. But...she simply could not help it.

She could not help the hate of him leaving her behind to be tormented without a friend to turn to. She had told him that she was sorry.

She was truly sorry for what she had done, and she didn't know exactly why she did it. They could have talked things out. But no...He decided that leaving would suddenly fix everything. It doesn't fix everything. It may fix his problems, but it didn't help her in the least. He had a family in Fillydelphia to turn to. Who did she have at the time? Her parents? Yes. Spike? Yes. But she could never truly escape the pain of all the torment received in school. She would never forgive herself unless he has forgiven her.

Twilight had settled on a hill near the Everfree Forest. She could see Ponyville. She loved her new home, but sometimes she would miss the busy streets of Canterlot. She missed her larger library. She missed studying just magic. She missed the time she could spend alone, lost in one of her books.

“Why did you leave me, Crimson...Why...” Twilight let more tears pushed past her eye lids, her eyes already red, puffy and stinging, “I...I thought we liked each other. So much I wanted us to be together. For me to be your only filly, you to be my only colt...”

'I hate you! I hate you I hate you I hate you!' A menacing voice in her head kept on repeating. Twilight grabbed her head, her eyes wide.

“No! I don't hate him! Shut up!” Twilight shouted, glad to be out of Ponyville and away from any pony that could hear her turmoil with herself, “I don't hate him! I love him!”

'You know you hate him Twilight. It's just that one piece of your heart wanting the fact he could still love you, and that keeps you believing that you ever really loved him! You never loved him. You were only a child. So was he.'

“Shut up! You don't know anything!”

'I know a lot more then you do. He doesn't love you anymore. Get over it.' The voice started to fade away.

“Hey! Get back here! I'm not finished with you!” But that voice didn't come back... and silence came over her again.

Sniffling, Twilight Sparkle rose to her legs, and made her way slowly to her home. Her thoughts overcoming her again, this time without the traces of malice and anger.

'I don't hate him. But...he's the one who turned his back on me, right?' Twilight half expected the maniacal half of herself to come back; but thankfully never did.

The walk back to her home was slow, but she loved the very early morning air. Celestia was sure to raise the sun soon enough.

'The fool...Couldn't...Couldn't you see the pain in my eyes as he left...You foolish pony.' Twilight quickened up her pace, passing a few houses as she entered Ponyville.

He thoughts continued to race and clash in her mind, making it almost impossible to follow just one of them.

“My foolish love...” She whispered to herself. Some of the ponies had started to stir, and even some had awoken, leaving their houses to get ready for their daily routine. Some were surprised when they say the purple unicorn run past them in a flash, almost as fast as the loyal Rainbow Dash.

Twilight's morning would have to be skipped, as she just remembered something that she wanted to do. No...something that she needed to do.

'Wonder if he truly is over me. Maybe he has found a mare for himself in Fillydelphia. If he did, he probably has so much better times with her.' Twilight grew enraged at these thoughts, 'And has forgotten the times that we would have had, even if they were few. I could tell by the way he looked at me he valued those moments. Now he must look at another filly that way.'

Twilight tried to push these jealous and unfair feelings away, 'If he has found another, shouldn't I be happy for him?...She at least better be nice to him, and not take him for granted.'

Still galloping, her library came into view. Using her magic to open the door as quietly as she could, in fear that she might wake up Spike.

As she listened for any sign of any rousing, she quickly made her way to a bookshelf, and, while straining, managed to push it off to the side a bit. The bookshelf revealed to be covering a well hidden door to a crawl space.

Twilight opened the door, and inside sat a chest, with a heart shaped lock. With her horn glowing with magic, she conjured a key made up of magic; and opened the chest with it.

Inside of the chest was; a rose, it's petals dark and wilted, a red bow tie, a picture of a white stallion with a bright red mane and dark red eyes. The last item was a parchment. It was old and worn, easily a decade old. This was also very dear to her.

'Heh...the first love letter that Crimson wrote to me...At least I think it may be the first' It was true, though the white unicorn's ability in writing was superb, this was one of his early works, and It wasn't as good as his later pieces she'd managed to take a peek at, 'He didn't even give me this either...He dropped it one day and I found it. Not enough courage in him to find out about the unknown, huh? Well, I guess that would make two of us...”

Twilight Sparkle took a long look at the letter, giving it a few good reads. Tears started to push past her lids again, staining the parchment with wet spots. All too soon, a loud ripping sound filled the small space.

Her magic held the two pieces of the letter, large jagged edges shown what she had just done.

'I wanted to give you everything...I wish I could have made you happy. But now it's to late...' Twilight brought the two papers together, and started to crumple them together. 'I can't be happy if all I can think about is how much I hate you as soon as you enter my mind.'

Twilight shot the crumpled paper back into the chest, and brought the picture of Crimson Brass to her. 'How can I hate you so much...but also be still so in love with you...'

'How do you do this to me?' Twilight felt could see the sun rising at the corner of her eye. She brought the picture to her chest, holding it in a tight embrace.

'I hate you...You have caused all of my pain over the years. I love you, you were the only one who ever wanted me. I wanted you too.' Twilight watched as the sun rose, a smile coming to her lips. Using her magic, she put the image back into the chest, next to the crumpled paper.

“I want to forget you...” Twilight whispered, still holding a soft smile. “Good-bye, my one and only love...” Twilight closed the chest and pushed the bookshelf back in place. She was ready to begin her day.

Good-bye..

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Author's Note
Hey guys :D Now that I'm awake I could add this.

Firstly, I want to get where this is based off of. It's a song called Hating. It's not in English, but some subtitles are in there. I also got some of the words from the song and put them in here.

Secondly, the character is Crimson Brass, belonging to Lucefudu from his awesome story, Want it; Need it. How's it feel Lucy? To have a fan that you inspire to write bad song based fics! XD Naw, I'm kidding. You're awesome dude! And sorry about the Crimson's talent being writing! It probably isn't but I just assumed it is.

Also, this was a practice fic. How was it? Criticism is demanded! >:D