The Cutie Mark Crusaders find Applejack's old Mare Do Well costume and decide to take up the mantle.
When the Cutie Mark Crusaders stumble upon an old secret in Applejack's closet, they decide that their latest cutie mark project will be to attempt a cutie mark for superheroics.
They didn't expect it to work.
What started as a way to kill the day morphs into a crazy adventure that soon drags the three fillies in over their heads against a corrupt businesspony who intends to destroy Ponyville and will let nothing stand in his way.
"Uh, Apple Bloom? I think we've hit the motherload."
It was a normal day in Ponyville. The weather team had cleared out the skies and the sun was shining brightly as everypony got started with their day. At Sweet Apple Acres, a small group of fillies who called themselves the Cutie Mark Crusaders were embarking on their latest attempt to earn their cutie marks (which had become a generally accepted synonym for the phrase "all hell was about to break loose"). The three fillies were currently poking around Applejack's bedroom in an attempt to find inspiration for their goal.
Sweetie Belle had just popped open Applejack's closet and pulled out a small trunk that was tucked away in the back. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo looked on with interest as Sweetie Belle popped open the trunk and got the shock of her life. Sitting in the trunk was a costume. Specifically, this costume had belonged to the famous Ponyville superhero Mare Do Well, who had suddenly appeared in town, become a sensation by saving the lives of its citizens, and disappeared just as suddenly.
Scootaloo gaped. "Apple Bloom... your big sister... was... Mare Do Well?"
Apple Bloom could only stammer in shock. "Ah never knew..."
Sweetie Belle piped up, "Wait a minute... didn't Mare Do Well have wings and a horn? Applejack doesn't have either of those. How...?" She interrupted herself when she noticed a letter tucked under the folded outfit. "A letter... shall we?"
Apple Bloom began to read.
Applejack,
I'll admit that Rainbow Dash has never been a modest pony, but this hero thing has gotten to her head and she's taking her ego way too far. I want you to meet me and the rest of the girls (with the obvious exception of Rainbow Dash) at Carousel Boutique. I have a plan.
Twilight Sparkle
Scootaloo pieced together the puzzle. "Of course... the newsponies were saying there might have been more than one Mare Do Well... Applejack and her gang must have teamed up to make it look like one superpony when it was just a bunch of different ponies putting all of their abilities together!"
Sweetie Belle frowned. "This seems really careless of your sister, Apple Bloom. I would have burned the evidence and scattered the ashes to the four winds. ...Apple Bloom. ...Apple Bloom?"
The gears in Apple Bloom's head had already begun to turn the instant she heard the words "more than one Mare Do Well". "Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo... y'all thinkin' what ah'm thinkin'?"
The two fillies glanced at each other, and then it clicked. A wild grin spread across their faces.
Carousel Boutique was a bust - the trio couldn't find any other Mare Do Well costumes. They also knew that Twilight's new castle would be a waste of time - even if she had her old costume, it would have been immolated along with the rest of the old library thanks to a giant fight with the demon lord Tirek. The next stop was Sugarcube Corner, where they finally lucked out. While Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle distracted Pinkie Pie with talk of a possible surprise birthday party for Scootaloo, the pegasus filly in question successfully snuck into Pinkie Pie's bedroom and "borrowed" (definitely not stole) a Mare Do Well costume. Having two of the three costumes, the group headed to Fluttershy's cottage and did the same thing, but the distraction they chose backfired spectacularly when Apple Bloom and Scootaloo had to sit through a 10 minute lecture about the responsibilities of owning a pet.
After their "collection of supplies" was complete (much to their disappointment, neither Scootaloo nor Sweetie Belle got cutie marks for stealth), the three seemed to be ready. However, they quickly ran into a problem.
"Uh, this might be a bad time to mention this, but THESE CLOTHES ARE WAY TOO BIG FOR US!!!"
"Quiet down, Scootaloo, you're gonna give us away!" Apple Bloom scolded as she struggled to make her costume fit. It took a lot of time, rolled up sleeves, and liberal use of paper towels and old newspapers as padding, but the three were finally ready to attempt to become Cutie Mark Crusader Superheroes.
That night, while everypony else was asleep, the three were sneaking around the back alleys of Ponyville looking for trouble. Sweetie Belle, despite being in a layered superhero outfit, was shivering. "Guys... it's cold outside. How long is this gonna take?"
Apple Bloom responded, "As long as it takes, Sweetie Belle. Ah ain't goin' home without my superhero cutie mark."
Sweetie Belle couldn't help snarking, "That's what you said about the ziplining cutie mark and the author's cutie mark and the pyrotechnics cutie mark..."
"Ah thought we agreed never to talk about the pyrotechnics cutie mark ever again."
Sweetie Belle chuckled to herself at the memory. It had taken a lot of convincing on Twilight Sparkle's part to stop that magician from forcing the three to rebuild her entire stage with their bare hooves.
"Hey..."
Sweetie Belle began to reminisce. "Well, we've had worse disasters. Like that time you tried to use a potion to force your cutie mark to appear and ended up giving yourself the cutie pox."
"Girls..."
Apple Bloom jumped in, "Or that time we tried gettin' journalism cutie marks and ended up becomin' gossip columnists and gettin' the whole town out for our heads!"
"APPLE BLOOM! SWEETIE BELLE! I hate to interrupt your fond memories, but that pony is ABOUT TO GET MUGGED!" It was true. Scootaloo pointed to a scene a short distance away. A green unicorn mare was backed up against a wall by a large, muscular-looking earth pony with a spiked club held between his teeth.
"Now, you can do this the easy way and gimme all your bits, or I can do this the fun way and bash 'em outta you!" The mugger gave a sadistic laugh.
With the enthusiasm that only a child could have, Apple Bloom promptly sprung the plan she had spent the last hour carefully devising and adjusting for every possible contingency imaginable. "CHAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE!!!" The three superhero wannabes ran out of the shadows and jumped at the mugger, clinging to his back and trying to bite him (forgetting that they were wearing mouth-concealing masks). This had the sum total effect of startling the mugger and sending him rearing back onto his hindlegs. The panicking unicorn mare promptly blasted the mugger in the chest with as much magic as she could muster, sending him flying into a nearby wall and instantly knocking him out. The CMC were knocked aside by his unconscious body, but managed to right themselves and make a dramatic exit back into the shadows of Ponyville. The dazed unicorn watched a cape flutter around the nearby corner and vanish.
"Mare Do Well..." She considered going to the police, but then realized that there was something she had to do first. The unicorn trotted over to the unconscious mugger and gave him a brutal kick in the flank. Then she fled for the nearest police station.
"That was insane..."
"Did you see that? We kicked his butt!"
"That had to have gotten us cutie marks!" The three fillies had managed to make it back to their clubhouse on Sweet Apple Acres. Having a moment to rest and recuperate, they began taking off the costumes and making plans to sneak them back to their respective owners (see, it was borrowing!). Apple Bloom started thinking, "The animals livin' in Miss Fluttershy's house are gonna be a real problem, seein' as some a' them might be those kinds a' animals that sleep in the day and run around at night... whaddya call'em... nocturnal? Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, help me out here..." Her two friends had stopped what they were doing and were staring slack-jawed at Apple Bloom. Or to be more specific, her flank. Apple Bloom frowned. "...Girls? Whaddya starin' at? ...Girls?"
"You... you..." "Ebbeh..." Apple Bloom followed their gazes to her rear. Sitting there, where a dreaded patch of blank fur had sat before, was a picture of a cape fluttering in the breeze. Apple Bloom poked it tentatively. Not a paper cutout or something. Then she rubbed it. Not a marker stain.
Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo snapped out of their stupor, ran over to their best friend, picked her up, and began whooping and cheering. "YOU DID IT!!! YOU DID IT!!!! IT WOOOOOOOOOOOOORKED!!!"
Rainbow Dash was livid. She entered Twilight Sparkle's castle, roughly pushing her way past Twilight's two new bodyguards and making her way to the throne room. She encountered her six best friends having a discussion about... well, she didn't care at the moment. Applejack was the center of attention.
"...didn't expect her talent to be fashion, of all things, but ah ain't complainin'. Apple Bloom's been lookin' forward to this since who knows when... Oh, hey, Rainbow Dash! I was just tellin' everypony...."
Rainbow Dash flatly said, "Shut it, Applejack, I'm not in the mood for this." That got everypony's attention. Rainbow Dash could be haughty and arrogant at times, but she wasn't usually this cranky. The bodyguards entered the room in a huff, having finally caught up with Rainbow Dash.
Biggs, an orange pegasus stallion with a shaggy brown mane and a sword for a cutie mark, spoke first. "I'm sorry, your highness, she just came barging in..."
His partner, Wedge, a maroon unicorn stallion with a close-cropped blond mane and the number 7 for a cutie mark, interrupted him. "Maybe if you hadn't been napping on the job, this wouldn't have happened!"
"Well, we wouldn't be able to stop anything that had a serious chance of hurting the princess..."
"Obviously, that idea is slightly flawed seeing as you just let somepony waltz in through the front door..."
"She's one of the Elements of Harmony and one of the Princess' best friends!"
"She could have been a changeling in disguise or some-"
"QUIET DOWN!" Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship (and probably 97 bajillion other titles nopony wanted to remember) finally interrupted their argument. "Biggs, the Royal Guard doesn't pay you to nap all day. You need to show some discipline once in a while." Having defused the situation before it could get out of hand, she turned to Rainbow Dash. "So Dash, you were the one who called us all here. You seem really worried about something..."
Applejack muttered under her breath, "Worried ain't the word I'da used..."
Twilight glared at her before continuing. "What's going on, Dash? What happened?" Rainbow Dash simply pulled a newspaper out from the wind she had tucked it under and threw it on the ground in front of them.
"You all have five seconds to explain before I turn violent. And two seconds have just passed." Twilight telekinetically lifted the newspaper and began to read.
"Mare Do Well Returns! ... Last night, local musician Lyra Heartstrings was rescued from a mugger by none other than Ponyville's hometown superhero... ...Whoa."
"Who. Was. It." Her six friends gave each other worried glances, while Biggs and Wedge simply looked confused. Fluttershy immediately went into caring mother mode, dashing over to Dash and taking hold of her shoulders.
"Rainbow Dash, you need to calm down," Fluttershy said sternly. "Take deep breaths... in... out... in... out... OK. Feeling better?"
Rainbow grumbled, "Slightly less worse. How could you guys do this to me? I thought you Pinkie Promised that Mare Do Well was finished!" Biggs and Wedge glanced at each other and mouthed the word "huh?".
Pinkie Pie promptly piped up, "Of course we did! We would never break a Pinkie Promise... right girls?" She looked at her friends, and gave an especially dirty look to Applejack. The others nodded vigorously.
It was Rarity's turn to speak. "Dearie, we wouldn't bring back Mare Do Well without telling you first unless we had a very good reason, and neither you nor anypony else has given us one!"
Spike mused, "If it wasn't any of you guys, then I figure it must be a copycat... Well, either way, it's not my problem. I'm leaving for Wrestle-mane-ia IV tomorrow with Discord, so..."
At this, Biggs finally broke the confused silence of him and his partner. "Uh... forgive me for speaking out of turn, your highness... but are you seriously saying... YOU WERE MARE DO WELL?!" Everyone except Wedge and Rainbow Dash responded by giving each other sheepish grins.
Twilight Sparkle spoke up. "Well, I guess that cat's out of the bag..." She laughed nervously.
"Remember when all of those random disasters struck Ponyville and Rainbow Dash stopped them? She got lauded as a hero, but she let it go to her head. Soon, she had grown an ego the size of Canterlot Castle! Me and the rest of the girls got tired of putting up with it, so we decided to create a superhero called Mare Do Well in order to deflate her a bit. I, not being an alicorn at the time, provided my magic. Fluttershy provided her wings, Applejack her strength, Pinkie Pie her Pinkie Sense, and Rarity the costumes. Eventually Rainbow Dash found us out, but by then she had learned her lesson..."
Rainbow Dash interrupted, "And got publicly humiliated in the process!" Twilight gave another nervous chuckle at that.
Twilight concluded, "After that, we let Rainbow Dash and Rarity play the character for giggles, and then we put our costumes away and haven't taken them out since." Biggs and Wedge looked at each other again, before giving the most articulate response to this revelation they could think of.
"...What."
Twilight said, "At any rate, Spike's probably right - if we're not Mare Do Well this time, then somepony else is - and it's not a big stretch to think they may have stolen the original costumes... How about this? We go around and find the three costumes and make sure they haven't been touched. If they haven't, we'll give them to Rainbow Dash for safekeeping. It'll be a show of good faith. Sound OK to you?"
Wedge interrupted, "But I thought you said all six of you played the character. Shouldn't there be six costumes? ...Uh, your highness."
Rarity shook her head. "I only created four. When Rainbow Dash and I became her, we simply borrowed Fluttershy and Twilight's costumes. And regarding Twilight's costume, it was immolated along with the rest of her library when Tirek returned." Twilight's face immediately darkened.
Rainbow Dash said, "Prove it. I'm not taking any chances." Twilight vanished, and then reappeared with the tattered remains of a purple mask. Rainbow Dash was satisfied. The group began to depart, but Applejack pulled Rainbow Dash aside.
"Like ah was sayin' before you showed up... Apple Bloom finally did it. She got her cutie mark!"
Rainbow Dash smiled for the first time all day. "Send her my congratulations! What's her talent? She's been dying to know!"
Applejack responded, "She and her friends were out at her clubhouse last night stayin' up late when one a' their Cutie Mark Crusader capes got caught on a loose nail or somethin' and got ripped up. Apple Bloom managed to fix it, and bang - fashion cutie mark!"
Rainbow Dash mused, "Huh. Rarity must be thrilled... Well, we'd better hurry up. Don't want the others to get ahead of us." Applejack nodded, and the two left.
The first stop was Fluttershy's cottage. Fluttershy's costume was hung on a coat rack inside her closet (why ponies had coat racks when they didn't usually wear clothes, nobody knows). Fluttershy grabbed her old costume and gave it to Rainbow Dash, who stuffed it in a saddlebag. They next headed to Sugarcube Corner and picked up Pinkie Pie's costume from its hiding place under her mattress. The big surprise came when they reached Sweet Apple Acres and Applejack's costume. Her costume was located in a trunk in her closet. When the ponies and dragon pulled it out, they all immediately noticed something very wrong with the trunk. Most of it was covered in a thin layer of dust. However, the latches that kept the trunk closed were conspicuously dust-free. The evidence was clear - the trunk had been opened recently. A panicking Applejack opened the trunk and found the costume neatly tucked away where it belonged. She turned to her steaming friend.
"Now, ah know this looks bad, but ah honestly haven't been prancin' around in that costume! It musta been stolen or somethin'!"
An unconvinced Rainbow Dash growled, "Yeah, right. Pinkie and Fluttershy don't need to steal your costume - they have their own. Twilight would do better with Fluttershy's costume since hers has wings. Rarity could sew up her own if she wanted to. Spike could never fit into the costume without getting caught, and Biggs and Wedge have only known about Mare Do Well for an hour. Tell me, Applejack - who else would have known where it is?" Applejack couldn't respond to this. Rainbow Dash took the costume, stuffed it into her saddlebag, and left without saying another word. The rest of her friends looked at her.
Twilight said, "Applejack... you wouldn't lie to us about being Mare Do Well... right?" Applejack simply shook her head, and everyone left unsure what to think.
It was late that night, and Rainbow Dash had finally retired to her cloud house above Ponyville. She wanted to be angry at Applejack, but the rational part of her mind had already realized something was wrong. As Rainbow Dash hid the costumes in her closet, something fell out of Applejack's. Rainbow Dash picked it up. "...A piece of shredded newspaper?" Frowning, Rainbow Dash went to her kitchen, grabbed the paper that had started this whole mess, and began to read the article in more detail.
"Mare Do Well Returns! ... Last night, local musician Lyra Heartstrings was rescued from a mugger by none other than Ponyville's hometown superhero, who vanished into the night just as mysteriously as she appeared. Ms. Heartstrings said of the incident, 'I was about to get beaten senseless and robbed when, out of nowhere, WHOOSH! She beat him into a pulp, which let me finish him off with a magic blast! She moved so fast, it was like there were three of them!' A local child managed to snap a picture of the masked heroine as she left." Rainbow Dash took a good look at the photo. Although the blurriness and lack of proper lighting didn't help matters, she could still make out a pair of wings on Mare Do Well's back.
Applejack doesn't have wings. What she does have is the worst poker face known to ponykind, and I didn't see it when I accused her. Lyra Heartstrings thought she was seeing things when she saw three Mare Do Wells, but I don't think she was - there were three Mare Do Wells. If that's true, then the thieves must have gotten to Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy... Any way I look at this, Applejack was telling the truth, and Spike was right - this is a copycat.
Rainbow Dash went to bed, miserable because of her false accusation and determined to set things right with Applejack... and find out who the new Mare Do Well was.
The next day, everypony (plus dragon and draconequus) met at the gates to Twilight's castle. Twilight was making sure Spike's luggage was all set up. "Got your toothbrush?"
"Yeah."
"Got your rubies?"
"Yeah."
"Got your comic books?"
"Twilight, you're not my mom."
"I'm the closest thing you've got, Spike." Twilight turned to Discord, who was lounging around and for some reason wearing a lucha libre mask. "Take care of him, Discord. So help me, if anything happens to him while you're gone, you'll wish you were petrified again by the time I'm done with you."
Discord smirked, and his mask vanished. "Is that an implied death threat, Twilight Sparkle? You're the last pony I'd expect to hear that from... No, wait - fourth to last."
Twilight responded, "No - I wouldn't dream of killing someone. Rip out their powers, on the other hoof..." That sentence visibly disturbed him - having them taken by Tirek was an experience he never wanted to repeat. Twilight didn't quite trust him after what had happened, but then again, she had never quite trusted him. Perhaps that was part of the problem. She turned back to Spike. "Take care, old friend."
Spike nodded. "You too. C'mon, Discord, let's get to the train station." Discord laughed at that.
"Trains? Trains are for sissies." He snapped his fingers, and the two vanished in a flash of light. Once they were gone, Rainbow Dash approached Applejack.
"Listen, AJ, I'm... real sorry about accusing you the way I did yesterday. I... was under a lot of stress, and now that I've had some time to go over this, I figure..." She explained the logical reasoning she had done the previous night. When she was done, Applejack nodded.
"Don't you worry 'bout it, sugarcube. Water under the bridge." She smirked. "Although ah never thought you'd be the pony to make all those egghead connections..."
Twilight asked, "So what's your plan, Dash? You can't just go blindly rushing into an investigation like you would a race."
Rainbow Dash took a deep breath, and then answered, "I figure that as our resident egghead, you should be my partner. We'll go and look for clues at the scene of the crime! Once we (meaning you) figure out who stole the Mare Do Well costumes, we can confront 'em and BOOM! No more Mare Do Well."
Twilight said, "Oh... I'm sorry, Dash, but I can't... I have to oversee the setup for my new castle and try to restore the damage to the library... Ooh, I know! Biggs! Wedge!" The group had mostly forgotten their presence due to Wedge's stern, speak-only-when-spoken-to attitude and the fact that Biggs had fallen asleep under a nearby tree, but it was their duty to protect their new princess at all times. Twilight, seeing her sleeping bodyguard, growled, "Wedge, get a bucket of water. Ice cold." Wedge nodded and vanished before reappearing with the object in a telekinetic grip. "Wake him up."
Wedge smiled wickedly as he trotted over to Biggs. "With great pleasure, your highness." He dumped the contents of the bucket on Biggs, causing him to wake up screaming profanity.
Twilight said, "Welcome back to the land of the living, Biggs. As you have consistently failed in your duties as my bodyguard, you have been volunteered to help Rainbow Dash discover the identity of the new Mare Do Well. Dash'll be informing me of your assistance at regular intervals, and if I'm not satisfied..." She drew her hoof across her own throat, and Biggs nodded immediately. "Good luck, Dash... and try not to do anything too stupid." Twilight and Wedge re-entered the castle, and everypony except Dash and Biggs left for their various places of work.
Rainbow Dash flapped her wings and took off. "Our first stop is Sweet Apple Acres! Last one there (meaning you) is a rotten egg!" She zoomed towards Sweet Apple Acres. Biggs grumbled to himself before taking off after her.
Rainbow Dash pranced around a bit to burn off some energy before Biggs finally showed up. "Too slow, rotten egg. You should probably eat less donuts."
Biggs shot back, "Hate to burst your bubble, but..." He gestured towards the approaching Applejack, who, lacking wings, had shown up after the two pegasi.
Rainbow Dash nodded. "You lucked out... this time. Hey, AJ! Mind if we take a look at... you know..." Applejack nodded, and the three entered her house. They found Applejack's younger sister Apple Bloom pouring herself a bowl of cereal. She turned as she noticed the three of them walking in.
"Hi, Sis. Hi, Rai- GAH! MR. SCOOTALOO'S DAD! WHATEVER IT WAS, WE DIDN'T DO IT!"
Biggs, the father in question, chuckled. "Nah, unless you've decided to become a superhero behind everypony's backs, you didn't do it. ...You haven't decided to become a superhero behind everypony's backs, have you?"
"Uh... no. Of course not. That's... that's just dumb. Well, I'ma gonna go play with Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo now, seeya later, bye!" She dashed out the door, forgetting all about her cereal. Biggs and Rainbow Dash glanced at Applejack, who simply shrugged. They went upstairs to Applejack's room and pulled out the trunk again. Upon opening it, they discovered a note that had been previously hidden by the costume. Biggs and Rainbow Dash read it. Once they were done, Biggs turned to Applejack.
"Nice one, Applejack. Instead of destroying this like a professional and giving yourself the option of singlehoofedly taking the fall in case Rainbow Dash found out, you instead left it and made it obvious that the princess and by extension, your entire circle of friends was involved. Well, this opens up one possibility - the thieves wouldn't have had to know about Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and the princess beforehand. All they would have to do is find out about Applejack, open this trunk, and figure out the rest." He grabbed a blank scroll and, with Applejack's permission, began writing this down.
Rainbow Dash couldn't resist saying, "Huh. Didn't think such a lazybones would turn out to be this competent."
"HEY!!!"
"So, AJ. Has anypony unusual shown up at the farm lately?"
Applejack shook her head. "Nope. Me'n Big Mac have been plowin' the fields for the past week like we always do."
Biggs asked, "Is there any chance your family could have stumbled onto the costume?" Applejack shook her head again.
"Nah, they wouldn't have any reason to go snoopin' around in mah room. Besides, they couldn't be Mare Do Well. Apple Bloom's too small, Big Mac's too big, and Granny Smith's too old." Biggs nodded, and turned to Rainbow Dash.
"It seems like we've got everything we can find here. Let's get going."
The two flew to Sugarcube Corner. As they landed, an orange filly with a purple mane approached them. Scootaloo beamed. "Hi, Dad!"
Biggs said, "Hey, Scoot. I can't play with you right now, I'm busy doing work." Scootaloo barely suppressed a snort.
"Hey Dad, can I borrow a couple of bits? The new Mare Do Well capes and hats are all the rage right now!" Biggs grumbled, but he gave his daughter the money. "Thanks, Dad!" She ran off towards a nearby market stall and got on line with Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom. Biggs sighed.
"C'mon, let's go before I get swindled outta all of my hard earned bits." They entered the bakery. Inside, Pinkie Pie was lounging at the counter. She beamed when she saw the two come in.
"Hiya, Dashie! Hiya, Biggs! What can I get you? We just added the new Super Triple Fudge Cake Deluxe to the menu and I'm really excited because I like cake and I like chocolatebutIespeciallylikefudgeandIwonderwhatwouldhappenif-"
Rainbow Dash interrupted her. "Pinkie, we need to see your room. Look for clues, you know?"
Pinkie nodded. "Hey, Mr. Cake! Can you do me a favor and work the counter for a moment? I need to help Dashie with something!" The three went upstairs to her room. "Like you saw yesterday, I hid the costume under my mattress. I know it's kinda obvious, but it worked for me, so..."
Biggs asked, "I know it might be a little hard to remember every single customer that comes in here, but has anypony unusual come in here?" Pinkie looked offended.
"Silly Biggs! I never forget a face! Never ever! It's been kind of a slow couple of days, though. Spike came in three days ago to order some emerald cookies for the trip to Wrestle-mane-ia, and Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle came in two days ago asking for help planning a surprise birthday party for Scootaloo. That's about it."
Biggs frowned. "The hell? Scoot's birthday isn't for another six months!" Pinkie left the room, went into the bathroom, returned with a bar of soap, and shoved it into Biggs' potty mouth. Biggs was not amused.
As Rainbow Dash began to fly to Fluttershy's cottage, Biggs stopped her. "I need to ask you something."
"Shoot."
"Why are you doing this?" The question stopped her in her tracks and gave her pause.
"What do you mean?"
"There's no reason to believe at this point that the new Mare Do Well is looking to get you. Seems to me like she's just some superhero wannabe trying to cash in on the fame of an old legend. So why do you want to find her so badly?"
"...You don't know what it's like to have everypony adore you, then lose it all to some Batpony knockoff. That identity has a lot of bad memories for me. I need to find her... It's personal." Biggs nodded, and the two took off for Fluttershy's cottage. They landed there and knocked on the door. Angel Bunny, her personal butler/right hoof bunny, answered the door. "Hi, Angel. Fluttershy should be expecting us." Angel nodded and let the two in, leading them to Fluttershy's kitchen where she was feeding some of her pet birds.
Fluttershy immediately greeted her two guests. "Hello, Rainbow Dash. Hello, Mr. Biggs. You're here about Mare Do Well, right?" The two nodded, and Fluttershy led them to her bedroom. Upon investigating her closet, they found nothing of significance.
Fluttershy shook her head. "I had tea with Rarity last Tuesday, and Friday Apple Bloom and Scootaloo asked me for help possibly buying a pet at some point for Sweetie Belle." Biggs promptly facehoofed.
"That kid is going to drive me insane. Please tell me you gave some nice, responsible advice." Rainbow Dash had a disturbing vision of herself getting mauled to death by two Opalescences.
"Oh, yes. First time pet owners should definitely consider something harmless and easy to maintain, like a goldfish or..." Biggs and Rainbow Dash quickly decided to excuse themselves and spare themselves the ramble.
Having completed their investigation for the day, Biggs and Dash decided to grab some dinner at a local restaurant. As they sat down to eat, they began to discuss their findings. Rainbow Dash asked, "Do we have any suspects?"
Biggs shook his head. "Our main problem is how Mare Do Well got her hooves on the costume. Until two days ago, the seven people who knew her identity hadn't squawked, and we can eliminate pretty much all of the ponies that could have potentially stumbled onto it. Unfortunately, the only explanation I can offer at this point is that Applejack really is Mare Do Well."
"...iggs..."
Rainbow Dash flatly stated, "I'm not accusing her again without solid proof."
Biggs said, "Well, that's your problem, not mine. I'm heading home - I've been waiting to go back to sleep all day!"
"Biggs..."
Rainbow Dash snorted. "That doesn't sound very correct."
"I'm not a very correct pony."
"BIGGS! There you are, I've been looking all over for you!" It was Wedge.
Biggs grumbled, "I have been working all day with Rainbow Dash, and she will vouch-"
"Not now, Biggs! You have to come back to the castle! It's Scootaloo!" Wedge looked excited, a stark contrast to his typical stoic demeanor.
"What did she do this time?"
"She earned her cutie mark!"
Biggs stared at Rainbow Dash before turning back to Wedge. "...Wait, what?"
Apple Bloom turned off her alarm clock and dragged herself out of bed. She briefly wondered why Applejack hadn't gotten her up before remembering she had left early in order to see Spike and Discord off on some trip to Canterlot. Apple Bloom couldn't for the life of her figure out why males enjoyed watching other males smash each other into the pavement while screaming about how manly they were. She went to the bathroom, splashed some water from the sink onto her face to wake herself up fully, and made sure to put on her lucky red bow before heading downstairs. As she began to pour herself some cereal, she heard the door open and some ponies enter. She glanced at the door. "Hi, Sis. Hi, Rai- GAH! MR. SCOOTALOO'S DAD! WHATEVER IT WAS, WE DIDN'T DO IT!" Apple Bloom knew for a fact that Scootaloo's father Biggs was hooves-down the laziest pony in Equestria, and if he had dragged himself to Sweet Apple Acres in his full Royal Guard armor, chances were somepony was in trouble.
Scootaloo's dad chuckled. "Nah, unless you've decided to become a superhero behind everypony's backs, you didn't do it. ...You haven't decided to become a superhero behind everypony's backs, have you?"
Oh, nonononononononono, he couldn't know, how could he possibly know, what's going on, did Scootaloo tell him everything? Nononononononononononono!
"Uh... no. Of course not. That's... that's just dumb. Well, I'ma gonna go play with Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo now, seeya later, bye!" Apple Bloom dashed out the door as fast as her underdeveloped filly legs could carry her. It was only halfway to Ponyville's main plaza when she realized she had forgotten her breakfast.
Apple Bloom finally caught up with her friends at Sugarcube Corner, where they were staring at a stall that was selling "licensed" Mare Do Well hats and capes. "Hi!" The two turned to her.
Sweetie Belle piped up, "Hi, Apple Bloom! Check out what these guys are selling!"
Apple Bloom lowered her voice and said, "We have a problem. Scootaloo, you didn't tell your dad about our... latest adventure, didja?"
Scootaloo shook her head. "No way. Adults are dumb. They'd just get in the way. Why?"
"Your dad showed up at mah house this mornin' sayin' he was looking for Mare Do Well. He actually asked me if ah was Mare Do Well!"
Sweetie Belle frowned. "Did he seem serious about the accusation?" Apple Bloom recounted exactly what she saw and repeated word for word what he had said. "Well, if he was like that about it, it honestly seems like it was a hilariously ironic joke. Calm down."
Apple Bloom did not calm down. "Even if it was a joke, we have another problem. If Rainbow Dash and mah sis are looking for Mare Do Well, then that means they probably hid the costumes or set 'em on fire or somethin'! Not only that, but even if they didn't, they'll be lookin' for us to try and take them again! How are we gonna be Mare Do Well now?"
The three fillies thought about it for a moment. Finally, inspiration struck Scootaloo. She turned to the nearby market stall that was still selling the hats and capes. "You know, nopony would think twice if we decided to join our own fan club..." She and Sweetie Belle pulled their wallets out of their manes, but Apple Bloom reached her third problem of the day (well, fourth if you counted breakfast).
"Uh, ah forgot mah wallet. Ah'd better go home and grab it..."
Scootaloo, however, had a faster idea. "Look! It's Dad and Rainbow Dash! Save me a spot on line, will you?" She ran off to the two adults, who had just landed and began approaching the bakery. "Hi, Dad!"
"Hey, Scoot. I can't play with you right now, I'm busy doing work."
"Hey Dad, can I borrow a couple of bits? The new Mare Do Well capes and hats are all the rage right now!" Scootaloo's dad begrudgingly forked over some bits. "Thanks, Dad!" Scootaloo returned to the line. "Here. You can pay me back tonight."
"You didn't have to do that..." Scootaloo shrugged.
"What are friends for?" A short while later, they all owned their very own filly-sized Mare Do Well hats and capes. Once they left, Scootaloo said, "Now that that's done, we can head to my house and do some research on how do be superheroes!" It was as good a way to spend the day as any.
The three spent some time reading Scootaloo's collection of comic books. It only took a few issues of Batpony to realize something very important that they were missing. Sweetie Belle summarized what they needed with one succinct word. "GADGETS!"
A short while later, the three were inside Twilight's castle. They figured since Twilight Sparkle was the smartest pony in Equestria, she would probably have the materials they needed to invent some cool superhero tools. "So... why do you need to borrow my lab?"
The three fillies had prepared a (half-truthful) explanation. "CUTIE MARK CRUSADER INVENTORS!!!"
Twilight sighed. "Wedge, make sure they don't hurt themselves. And make sure to keep them away from the dangerous chemicals." The three fillies followed Wedge to Twilight's lab, and Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle began playing with anything in sight.
"Now, kids, before you start trying to invent things, you should probably take a look at these books on electrical engineering..." Only Scootaloo bothered to heed his words, which was unusual given her typical lack of patience. After quickly getting a feel for how electricity worked, she began to gather up parts as an idea formed in her head.
"You really shouldn't be playing with th-AARGH!" While Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle accidentally sent a textbook into Wedge's face with a nearby catapult, Scootaloo began to work.
"That isn't safe for fillies your-GAH!" Wedge found himself stamping out the fire that had lit on his own tail and not really comprehending how it had gotten started. Scootaloo, within minutes, had a working prototype grappling hook. She attatched it to her right forleg and tried to grapple a rafter on the ceiling. While she zoomed up to the top almost effortlessly, the sudden force felt like it nearly tore her leg off.
"Ow... gotta find some way to make this thing... not hurt..." She flapped her wings - although she couldn't fly, she could still slow her descent back to the ground.
"Oh, nonono! Those are the dangerous chemicals! STAY AWA-" Scootaloo grabbed several more parts and worked them into her design. Soon, she had found a way to get the device to absorb its own recoil. When she tried using it again, it worked like a dream.
"Quack. Quack." Scootaloo turned and saw Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle standing next to a maroon-colored duck.
Scootaloo gaped, "How... did you do that?"
Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle giggled as Twilight barged into the room. "Ah think our special talent is chaos..."
Twilight Sparkle immediately restored Wedge to his true form, and the latter's face immediately became a scowl. "Your highness, I don't think these two fillies are going to be inventors."
This confused Twilight. "Two?" She turned to Scootaloo, who still had her grappling hook. As Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Wedge also looked at her, they all noticed something.
"You... you..." "Ah don't believe it..." Scootaloo followed their gazes to her rear. Sitting there, where a dreaded patch of blank fur had sat before, was a picture of a gear. Scootaloo poked it tentatively. Not a paper cutout or something. Then she rubbed it. Not a marker stain.
Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle snapped out of their stupor, ran over to their best friend, picked her up, and began whooping and cheering. "YOU DID IT!!! YOU DID IT!!!! IT WOOOOOOOOOOOOORKED!!!"
It was a cutie mark. Twilight turned to Wedge. "Get Biggs. I think celebrations are in order." Wedge nodded and vanished. The three fillies continued celebrating, and it was only a short time before Wedge returned with Scootaloo's confused looking father in tow. He approached his daughter.
"Is... is it true?" Scootaloo nodded and showed off her flank, and Scootaloo's dad began celebrating as well. "I have a nice big bottle of champagne I've been saving for this moment!"
"Cool! I've never had alcohol before!"
"Nice try, squirt."
"If you weren't gonna give me champagne, you shouldn't have screamed so loudly about it." Everypony laughed.
Scootaloo spent the rest of the afternoon partying with her father, accepting congratulations from the local townsponies, and tinkering with the new inventing kit her father had immediately bought her. At one point, she was enjoying some donuts from the fridge when she heard yet another knock on the door. Scootaloo opened it. "Oh, hi, Miss Cheerilee."
"Hello, Scootaloo. I heard about your cutie mark - congratulations!"
"Thanks!"
"Is your father home? I need to talk with him." Scootaloo promptly got Biggs.
"Hi, Cheerilee. Whatever it is, for 24 hours she didn't do it."
Cheerilee smiled and shook her head. "Actually, this is about you. We were going to have a guest speaker come to class tomorrow, but an urgent family matter came up at the last minute and he couldn't show up. I know this is last minute, but could you come in his stead? You could teach the foals all about the royal guard!"
Biggs thought for a moment. "...Uh, sure. I'll do it. I'll have to get permission from the princess since I'm kinda on probation at the moment..."
Cheerilee smiled. "Twilight Sparkle has already cleared you. She said that while you speak, Wedge will take over your position on Rainbow Dash's pet project, whatever that is. I'll see you at 10:00 sharp, then! Have a nice day, and congratulations again, Scootaloo!" She left, and Biggs shut the door. Scootaloo returned to tinkering.
That night, Scootaloo met Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle at their clubhouse at Sweet Apple Acres. She made sure to bring the three grappling hooks she had made, as well as a new toy she had cranked out at home. "These headsets are voice changers. We put them on, and whenever we talk it'll distort our voices so nopony can recognize us!" She put the device on. "Like this!" Her voice had been altered to a far deeper pitch, one that made Scootaloo suppress an urge to demand to know where the numbers station was. Scootaloo passed them and the grappling hooks to her friends.
Sweetie Belle turned to Apple Bloom. "This thing is great and all, but.. how is gonna hide Apple Bloom's accent?"
Apple Bloom thought for a moment. "Well... if ah focus hard enough, I can sort of speak without it... So what's in the box, Sweetie Belle?" Sweetie Belle had indeed brought a small box with her. She opened it.
"I borrowed this makeup kit from my sister. I figured we'd be recognized by our coat colors, so we can dye them to avoid getting caught by the bad guys. Besides, Mare Do Well is always dark purple."
Apple Bloom helped herself to the dye. "Just so long as this stuff washes off."
"It does - trust me from experience." The three geared up, and Apple Bloom let then borrow some of her winter scarves to wrap around their faces, completing the ensemble. With that accomplished, the three superheroes dashed off to Ponyville to look for more trouble.
The three stood on the roof of a local house, surveying the town. Apple Bloom mused, "Ah've always wanted to see what it looks like on top of a roof. This is so cool!"
Sweetie Belle frowned. Hearing the same distorted voice from all three of them was still pretty creepy, and yet at the same time completely awesome. She scanned the streets of Ponyville before finally noticing something strange. "Hey, look at that..." A group of five tough-looking ponies stepped out of a building, clearly trying not to be seen. Three of them packed themselves into a nearby carriage, and the other two began to drive it away from town. "That's strange.. what are those ponies doing out this late?"
Scootaloo cracked, "What are we doing out this late?"
Apple Bloom couldn't resist laughing. "Sweetie Belle's right, though - somethin' don't feel right. I think we should follow them and make sure they ain't - they're not up to no good." It was hard work suppressing her accent, but at least she was trying. The three used their grappling hooks to begin traversing the rooftops in pursuit of the strange ponies.
The carriage took a very roundabout route, and some of its passengers would occasionally stick their heads out to make sure they weren't being followed (obviously unsuccessfully). The three fillies' unease about the situation continued to grow. The group eventually stopped at a large mansion on the outskirts of town. Scootaloo recognized the home. "This is Silver Spoon's place, isn't it?"
Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle nodded and watched as the group got out of the carriage. They approached the front gates and stopped. One member of their party, a unicorn mare from the looks of it, asked, "This the place, Roughneck?"
Another group member, an earth pony stallion, nodded. "Yep. This is it. We're getting paid a boatload to kidnap the brat of the rich bastard who lives here. You all know the plan. I don't want any buckups." The three fillies observing the scene from afar looked at each other in horror.
"They're gonna kidnap Silver Spoon?!" The unicorn mare bad guy lit her horn, and a faint shimmer could be seen surrounding the mansion. Apple Bloom had heard that rich ponies used advanced security magic to keep their homes safe. She figured that the bad guys had disarmed it somehow. Once the shimmer vanished, another unicorn in their party, a stallion by the looks of him, vanished. A commotion could be heard in one of the mansion's rooms. Finally, the unicorn reappeared. Caught in a telekinetic grip was a screaming Silver Spoon. Her pink sleep mask was askew, and she was vainly struggling against her captors. The group began to pile into the carriage again, roughly tossing Silver Spoon into the passenger's seat before beginning to speed off.
Apple Bloom finally got her senses together. "We gotta do something!" Thinking remarkably fast, she tried to shoot her grappling hook at one of the carriage's wheels, but missed. Taking their cues, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo followed suit. Scootaloo missed as well, but Sweetie Belle had recently begun magic lessons with Twilight Sparkle. She had developed fledgling telekinesis abilities, and although she was generally unable to pick up objects with her magic, she was still able to use it to guide her hook to its target. The hook buried itself in the front left wheel of the carriage. The three fillies grabbed the line and pulled with all of their might. With a satisfying *CRACK!*, the wheel was completely dislodged. The carriage promptly crashed into a tree, and Silver Spoon was sent flying out. She scrambled to her hooves and began running as fast as she could to town, screaming her head off as she went. The five dazed and battered bad guys stumbled out of the carriage and saw the fillies.
The stallion named Roughneck screamed, "GET THOSE BRATS!" At the same time, two furious earth ponies who could only have been Silver Spoon's parents came barreling out of the mansion doors, followed by a group of servants and guards.
Silver Spoon's father screamed, "GUARDS! GET THEM!"
Apple Bloom was the final pony to scream dramatically. "RUN!!!" The three fillies fled for their lives, cutting through a park and coming to a rest near a bridge over a small creek. "Are... are we safe?"
Scootaloo nodded. "I think so." That sentence, of course, was the cue for the bad guys' unicorn stallion to teleport in and smash Scootaloo from behind. He then blasted Apple Bloom with a bolt of magic and rounded on Sweetie Belle. Everything seemed to slow down for her. She began noticing details of the environment she would have glanced over on any other day.
Telekinetically throw dirt in face to blind bad guy. Throw boulder into side, injuring him. Buck over edge. Bad guy beaten up. Capacity to attack friends... Three moves later, the unicorn was sent flying into the creek under the bridge. ...neutralized. Whoa, that was awesome! Sweetie Belle rushed over to her friends and helped them to their hooves. They looked dazed and slightly beaten up, but they were for the most part OK. The fillies fled back to their clubhouse.
"Didja see that?! Sweetie Belle was all like 'WHOOSH' and 'BLAM' and she beat the snot outta that bad guy!" The three fillies began to get out of their costumes. "Man, now Silver Spoon owes us big time. We should totally troll her over this!"
Scootaloo laughed at the thought, but shook her head. "That's not very heroic. Besides, we can't let anypony else know about our... secret... identity..." She stopped and began staring at Sweetie Belle. Apple Bloom saw her, turned her gaze to Sweetie Belle, and noticed it as well.
"Ebbeh..." "Ah don't believe it..." Sweetie Belle followed their gazes to her rear. Sitting there, where a dreaded patch of blank fur had sat before, was a picture of a boxing glove. Sweetie Belle poked it tentatively. Not a paper cutout or something. Then she rubbed it. Not a marker stain.
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo snapped out of their stupor, ran over to their best friend, picked her up, and began whooping and cheering. "YOU DID IT!!! YOU DID IT!!!! IT WOOOOOOOOOOOOORKED!!!" It was a cutie mark. After a solid minute of cheering, they finally put her down. Sweetie Belle realized a problem.
"How are we gonna explain this to my sister?" Apple Bloom and Scootaloo thought for a moment, and then it hit them.
"CUTIE MARK CRUSADER BOXERS!!! And then we lucked out and it worked." Sweetie Belle nodded. Scootaloo then noticed an interesting fact.
"I just realized... we all reacted the exact same way every time we got a cutie mark. Isn't that weird?" The three fillies laughed and nodded.
*SPLASH!* Biggs was once again woken up with a cold bucket of water to the face, signifying that this was not going to be a good day. He got up and looked at the grinning culprit. "Just because you got your cutie mark does NOT mean that I won't ground you for a - where the HELL did you get that bruise?!"
Scootaloo laughed nervously. "Well, after me and Apple Bloom got our cutie marks, Sweetie Belle got real jealous and wanted hers too. So we stayed up late again trying a bunch of different things, and eventually we got to boxing, and guess what? That was the one that did it!"
"So Sweetie Belle has her cutie mark now? Great. I'm still wet and pissed off. Go get your breakfast." Scootaloo nodded and ran to the kitchen, and Biggs followed. The two ate some waffles, and Scootaloo grabbed her saddlebag.
"See you at school! Don't forget - you're speaking to the class at 10:00!" She left. Biggs waved her off, and then crawled back into bed.
Ah, finally some peace and quiet. Well, time to go back to sleep. *KNOCK KNOCK* ...shit. Biggs awoke again, went to the door, and greeted Rainbow Dash with a snarl. "I'm speaking to the foals in an hour. This had better be important."
"That means you still have an hour to kill, and there's somepony I wanna visit! Come on, time's a-wasting!" Rainbow Dash zoomed off. Biggs groaned.
...Yep. Not gonna be a good day.
Biggs followed Rainbow Dash to the local confectionery. When he caught up, she knocked on the door. The proprietress, a beige earth pony mare with a blue and pink mane, answered.
Rainbow Dash said, "Hi, Bon Bon. Is Lyra home?" Bon Bon turned around and looked up the stairs.
"Hey, Lyra! Two of Mare Do Well's fanponies are here!"
"HEY! I'M NOT A FAN OF HER!"
"HEY! SHE DRAGGED ME INTO THIS!"
Bon Bon shrugged as her live-in marefriend came trotting down the stairs. The four sat down at a table to talk. Lyra asked, "So what can I do for you? You here to ask about Mare Do Well?" Rainbow Dash nodded.
"I told you they were fanponies."
Rainbow Dash snarled, "Shut up, Bon Bon. So, Lyra. We're trying to figure out Mare Do Well's secret identity, and we need your help. I want you to tell us everything that happened on Friday night."
Lyra nodded and began recounting the story. She told them exactly what happened, but she didn't reveal anything that the newspapers hadn't already covered. "...And then I kicked him really hard, and then I ran to the police."
Biggs sighed in lamentation of his wasted naptime. "...Did anything stand out about Mare Do Well? Something that we could use to identify her out of costume?"
Lyra thought for a moment. "...Well, there was one thing that was weird. Mare Do Well was short. I mean, really short. Barely came halfway up that mugger's body. She was the size of a filly, I tell you!"
Rainbow Dash nodded. "That's great! All we gotta do now is find somepony with dwarfism, and we've nabbed her! Come on, Biggs! Let's go look!"
Biggs shook his head. "It's 9:45. I need to get to the school. Make Wedge do it."
Rainbow Dash sighed. "Chicken. Fine, but once you're done, come right back, got it?" Biggs nodded, and the two left the confectionery and went their separate ways. Biggs began flying to the school.
She was the size of a filly, I tell you!
Biggs tried to suppress the thought, but he couldn't escape the nagging feeling that he should have been paying more attention to that sentence. He shook his head and continued flying.
After saying goodbye to her father, Scootaloo hopped on her trademark scooter and zoomed off to school. On the way, she ran into Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle. Regretting that she hadn't thought to bring her wagon so they could all ride, she hopped off of her scooter and said hello to her friends.
Apple Bloom glanced around, and then whispered, "Ah've been thinkin', and ah had an idea for some new gear you could invent. You know how Batpony has his batarangs that he throws at the bad guys? We should have those! Except, of course, we'd need to call 'em somethin' else... like Mare-a-rangs!"
Sweetie Belle frowned. "That kinda sounds weird... I think Mare-do-rangs rolls off the tounge better. But yeah, those would totally be awesome!"
Scootaloo nodded. "I'll start working on them after school today. I was also thinking I could upgrade our grappling hooks to give a stun shock to bad guys we hit with it."
Apple Bloom mused, "Just so long as it doesn't kill 'em. Then we'd be no better than the bad guys." All three fillies nodded in agreement, and they finally reached and entered Ponyville Elementary. Silver Spoon was the center of attention, no doubt retelling the tale of yesterday's foiled kidnap attempt.
"...Once Mare Do Well ripped off the wheel, I was able to escape from the kidnappers. Remembering what my father had taught me about situations like these, I immediately ran to the house of the pony I trust most, Diamond Tiara, and managed to make myself safe under her tight security." Silver Spoon then noticed the Cutie Mark Crusaders arrive. "Well, if it isn't the blank flanks! You just missed getting to hear the tale of how some foalish kidnappers attempted to grab me, of all ponies!" Diamond Tiara laughed at the jab.
Apple Bloom smugly retorted, "Blank flank mah hoof, Silver Spoon. Didn'tcha hear? We got our cutie marks over the weekend! Or were you just too busy with your head stuck in your money?" The two bullies recoiled as they realized it was true.
Diamond Tiara tried to recover. "Oh, yeah? So you've got your cutie marks now. Big deal. You honestly think that makes you special? You're nothing compared to ponies like us or Mare Do Well!" However, the rest of the foals ignored her and flocked to the crusaders, eager to hear how they got their cutie marks.
Apple Bloom thought to herself, That has got to be the most cliché sentence ah've ever heard. ...Ah, well, ah'll brain-laugh anyway. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! As they began talking to their friends, Ms. Cheerilee arrived, eager to begin the day's lessons.
"Alright, class, take out your weekend homework..." The crusaders looked at each other, and each one mirrored the others' expressions of horrified realization.
Half an hour later, after going over the homework (and getting chewed out by Ms. Cheerilee), Ms. Cheerilee spoke. "Now, I know you were all looking forward to meeting the spokespony from Marevel Comics, but an urgent family matter came up for him at the last minute and he couldn't make it." Everypony groaned. "Thankfully, a representative from the local box factory agreed to replace him!" The foals gave Ms. Cheerilee a blank stare. She lasted 2 seconds before bursting out into giggles. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, you foals should have seen the looks on your faces! That was priceless!" She paused for a moment and regained her composure. "Truthfully, I did manage to secure a replacement, and I do think you'll enjoy his speech. You all have heard of the Royal Guard - Celestia's most elite knights, dedicated to serving the greater good of all Equestria! Today, one of the best of the best will be speaking to you about this prestigious institution." Nopony in the room knew what the word "prestigious" meant. "Fillies and gentlecolts, allow me to introduce Staff Sergeant Biggs!" Taking his cue, the orange pegasus stallion entered the room. There was some polite applause.
Biggs shifted nervously. "All right, foals, I am going to get to teach you about the Royal Guard. Now, the institution was first founded in-"
Diamond Tiara interrupted him. "Oh, please. The Royal Guard are a bunch of useless nincompoops!" Ms. Cheerilee, enraged, opened her mouth to reprimand her, but Biggs beat her to the punch.
"You're Diamond Tiara, right? Filthy Rich's kid?"
"Yes."
"I've heard all about you from Scootaloo. One day, kid, you're going to find yourself in a mess that you will not be able to buy your way out of, and then you will be doomed." Normally, Biggs had another word for that kind of situation that began with "b" and ended with "ucked", but he took care to watch his language in front of the foals. Nodding in satisfaction at having stifled the interruption, Biggs continued. "Granted, we haven't had a very good track record against enemies like Nightmare Moon or Queen Chrysalis, but-"
Silver Spoon interrupted him this time. "You got your butts trounced! Why do they even bother giving the princesses bodyguards anyway? Bodyguarding an immortal alicorn princess is completely useless!"
Biggs glanced around, and then lowered his voice to an audible whisper. "First off... you're completely right, the princesses' bodyguards are useless." He winked. "However, that's not the full scope of our duties. We are also often sent out to aid local level law enforcement in small towns such as these, and sometimes we get recruited to take down higher profile criminals-" He was once again interrupted by the door to the classroom opening. "Aw, what now?!" In response, what appeared to be a small pellet went flying into the room, bonked Biggs on the nose, and came to rest on the ground. "Well, now, what do we have here?" He leaned in to take a closer look, and that was when it exploded in his face.
Everypony was stunned by the blast. Their vision was filled with white, and a horrific ringing sound echoed in their ears. Scootaloo managed to recover enough to see the silhouette of her father drag himself off the floor. She then heard a voice say, "Take out the guard!" More silhouettes entered the room and attacked Biggs. Biggs flipped one over his back and punched the next one in the face, but the third one managed to impale him with a spear. The spear went straight through his armor and into his chest before coming out covered in his blood through his back. Scootaloo shook her head, and the lingering effects of the blast finally wore off. Standing in front of her were five ponies. Scootaloo realized to her horror that they were five familiar ponies.
The leader of the gang turned to face the stunned class as his cronies subdued Ms. Cheerilee. "Fillies and gentlecolts, my name is Roughneck, and you are now in a hostage situation. The so-called superhero known as Mare Do Well has exactly one hour to surrender herself to me. If she does not cooperate, me and my men will kill every single pony in this building." He nodded to the spear lackey, who ripped the spear out of Biggs' chest. He immediately began bleeding out of both his chest wound and his mouth. Roughneck nodded again, and the two unicorns in his group telekinetically lifted Biggs, and with one violent motion, threw him out the window.
Biggs' vision was a haze. Looking up from the makeshift stretcher, he saw a maroon unicorn on his left and a cyan pegasus on his right. The unicorn screamed "Get him inside!"
Boot camp, 10 years ago. The fresh recruits all stood at attention upon meeting their new drill sergeant. All except one orange pegasus, who was sleeping on the ground and pointedly ignoring the dirty looks of the maroon unicorn standing next to him.
The pegasus said, "The hospital is up ahead!"
The unicorn nodded in response. "Keep moving!"
Biggs and Wedge received their orders from Captain Shining Armor, leader of the Royal Guard. "You're being sent to Ponyville, a small town just north of the Everfree Forest. Their police force isn't very big, and they'd like a couple of our elites to help them with any problems that come up.
They were in the hospital. The unicorn screamed, "Out of the bucking way! Get a doctor!"
The blue pegasus with the purple mane smiled as she first saw her child. "Her name... her name is Scootaloo."
The unicorn turned to the pegasus. "Keep pressure on that wound!"
The pegasus shot back, "I'm trying!" She turned to Biggs. "Hang in there, Biggs..."
Biggs' wife read the letter, and then buried her head in her hooves. "Leukemia... I'm so sorry, Biggs... Promise me you'll take care of Scootaloo..."
The group finally reached the emergency room, and the unicorn screamed, "He needs help!"
A doctor nodded, and quickly examined his patient. "We've got multiple lacerations all across his body and a large puncture wound in his chest." His horn glowed as he looked for more details. "Oh, for- his lung's been hit. What happened to him?!"
Biggs managed to recover from the blast enough to see the attackers barging into the room. He managed to subdue two of them before the third brought him down. "...you are now in a hostage situation... if she does not cooperate, me and my men will kill every single pony in this building." The two unicorns telekinetically lifted him and sent him flying out the window, tearing him to ribbons...
The doctor telekinetically grabbed a defibrillator. "We're losing him. Charging... three, two, one - clear!" He pressed the paddles against Biggs' heart and fired, and all went black.
The foals whimpered in pure terror. Scootaloo was utterly catatonic - this was to be expected after helplessly watching the five criminals mercilessly attack her father and then reveal that they did so because of her. Everypony else had huddled together in fear and were whispering to each other as they prayed for rescue, and Cheerilee tried her best to comfort the class. Silver Spoon moaned, "Those.. those are the ponies that tried to kidnap me last night. How did they get away? HOW DID THEY GET AWAY?!" She began to cry, and Diamond Tiara reached over to comfort her best friend.
Meanwhile, the Cutie Mark Crusaders had separated from the other fillies and were frantically trying to figure out how to get out of the mess. Apple Bloom said, "This is bad, this is bad, this is really really bad..." Sweetie Belle grabbed her shoulders.
"Calm down! Panicking won't help us! We just need to think..." Apple Bloom nodded.
"Do we have our gear?" Sweetie Belle shook her head. "OK... one of us has gotta sneak out and get our stuff, and then... come back and... and beat them up, right?"
Sweetie Belle nodded. "I think I should go. Scootaloo and I did the sneaking last time, and she's in no condition to do anything..." Scootaloo was rocking back and forth, muttering under her breath with an empty, faraway look in her eyes.
Apple Bloom said, "I'll distract 'em so you can get out..." Sweetie Belle shook her head.
"DT's got us covered." As Diamond Tiara bravely stepped up to the thugs and tried to bribe their way out, Sweetie Belle began making her way silently to the door. She watched in horror as Roughneck shoved Diamond Tiara back with the rest of the fillies. She turned back to the door.
"And where do you think you're going?" Sweetie Belle barely had time to blink before a kick to the head sent her flying. The pegasus who had impaled Biggs rounded on her and prepared to kill her, but Roughneck stopped him.
"Don't. If we start killing the hostages early, we'll have every pissed off cop in the town crawling up our asses!"
The spear pegasus growled, "Why are we even waiting? We know Mare Do Well is a bunch of fillies! We should just kill all of these brats right now!" The foals screamed. Roughneck shook his head again.
"We don't know that every filly in town goes to this school at this time. If we jump the gun and fail to kill our target, we're bucked. Just keep your head on, and we'll find them... and then they die." He turned to the foals. "That being said, the next wannabe hero who tries something funny is getting a spear to the head. AM I CLEAR?!" The terrified class nodded. "Good."
Outside the school, Twilight Sparkle was pacing back and forth nervously. Finally, Wedge and Rainbow Dash arrived at the scene. They looked around and saw the growing commotion. The local police force in its entirety of three ponies was present, and Big Macintosh and a local bodybuilder pegasus were working together to restrain the mailmare from trying to rush in and rescue the hostages on her own. "LET ME GO! THEY HAVE MY MUFFIN! THEY'RE GONNA HURT MY MUFFIN! LET! ME! GO!!!"
"No can do, Derpy. If you run in like an idiot, you'll just get everypony in there killed, including yourself!"
"YEAH!!!" The two ponies sighed sympathetically before approaching Twillight. She turned to greet them.
"How's Biggs?"
Wedge replied, "He's holding on, but just barely. The doctors have him in surgery, and they're trying to put him back together, but it's touch and go at the moment." Twilight nodded.
"Spike and Discord are out of town, so we can't contact the other princesses or have our resident reality warper snap his fingers and turn these guys into rubber chickens... How many law enforcement ponies do we have?"
Wedge growled, "Just me and the three cops over there. This is a small town with a very low crime rate, so there isn't much budget for law enforcement... And of course, Biggs, the only other pony with any training appropriate for this situation, is currently bleeding to death in the hospital."
Twilight groaned. "So there's no way we can use force to save the hostages..."
Applejack, who was one of the first on the scene, screamed, "Why do we even need some fancy schmancy cops to do this? We're the Elements of Harmony, and you're an alicorn princess! We should just go in and take these guys on ourselves!"
"That is not an option. We're not trained for hostage rescue, and I haven't even begun to master my alicorn abilities. If we slip up once, just once, your sister and Rarity's sister and Rainbow Dash's friend and every other foal in there could be killed. Do you really want to risk it?!" Applejack could only shake her head and begin to cry. Twilight hugged her friend. "At this point, our only move left is to wait for Mare Do Well and go from there. I don't like it... but it's all we've got." Applejack nodded, and so they waited. And waited. And waited.
Rarity moaned, "It's ten minutes to the deadline, and Mare Do Well hasn't come! THIS IS THE WORST! POSSIBLE! THING!" For once, she was not exaggerating. Applejack had begun to hyperventilate, and the mailmare was continuing to struggle against Big Mac and the bodybuilder's grips. Twilight turned to Wedge.
"Get the police ready. Five more minutes, and I'm sending you in. The hostages' safety is the first priority," Wedge nodded and began preparing along with the police. Rarity, who had recovered from her sobbing fit, approached Twilight.
"I... I know this will sound strange, but could you use a cloud-walking spell on me?" Twilight shrugged and humored her. That task accomplished, she approached Rainbow Dash. "Dearie, could we go to your house and talk? I... just need to confide in somepony."
Dash nodded. "Of course, but isn't your place closer?"
Rarity sobbed, "Yes, but... right now, that place reminds me of Sweetie Belle, and..." Dash nodded again, and picked her up. The two flew to Rainbow Dash's cloud house. Setting her down, Dash walked in first.
"If you want something to drink, I don't have any tea, but I've got coffee, soda, water, energy dri-" *CRASH* That was as far as she got before she felt a blunt object crash into her head. Dazed and confused, it took Rainbow Dash a moment to gather her senses. Seeing Rarity flee into her bedroom, she stumbled in after her. "Rarity... what... what are you... oh, no. You can't... be thinking... no..." Rarity had just finished digging through Dash's closet and had pulled out a very familiar costume. As she began getting dressed, she turned to her friend, who had just collapsed on the floor.
"I'm truly sorry, Rainbow Dash, but 15 foals' lives are at stake, and Mare Do Well is just going to sit there and watch as these brutes slaughter them all. Tomorrow, if I'm not around to do it myself, tell Sweetie Belle I love her." She telekinetically pulled the mask over her face before putting on the hat. "I know you understand." She vanished in a flash of light. Rainbow Dash dragged herself to her front door, but she blacked out before she could stop her friend.
Rarity's heart was racing a mile a minute as she sped back towards the school. She briefly hoped she hadn't hurt Rainbow Dash too badly, but shrugged off the thought - Rainbow Dash had endured far worse and walked away laughing. Finally, with one last burst of stamina, she made it back with six minutes to spare. "You want me? Well, here I am! Now release the hostages!" One of the foalnappers stuck his head out the window. Rarity realized to her horror that he had Apple Bloom with her and had a spear pressed against her throat. One glance to her left saw the blood drain out of Applejack's face.
"Take your bucking mask off. Right now, or the runt gets it!" Rarity complied, and all of the onlookers fell into a dead silence. Sweating, the goon retreated back into the school and turned to his leader. "She's here. I made her take off her mask. It's the bucking seamstress, the one who has the Element of Generosity or some shit!" All of the foals turned to stare at Sweetie Belle, who promptly blanched.
Sis... what are you doing?
Roughneck looked out the window. "If it's really her, why the buck hasn't she done anything this past hour other than sit there and shit herself? And besides..." Roughneck returned to the window and addressed Rarity. "Don't think I'm a bucking idiot! I know who I'm looking for - three fillies! You're just trying to take the fall for them!"
It took all of Rarity's self-control to avoid jumping a mile at the revelation. WHAT?! Fortunately, she was not the Element of Honesty. "Please... do you really think three fillies could honestly pull off being a superhero on their own? They needed a leader... somepony like me." She began silently praying in her head. Take the bait, take the bait, please take the bait... Her prayers were answered when two of the foalnappers, a unicorn and a pegasus, stepped out of the school and began to approach her. Rarity growled, "You have what you want. Now release the hostages."
"Not yet." With that, the pegasus punched her in the face. The unicorn's horn began to glow, and together they charged at Rarity. Rarity attempted to use some of the self-defense magic she knew, but against the two hardened criminals it was no use. Rarity took a magic bolt to the gut and another kick to the head and collapsed on the ground in a heap. The pegasus brought down his hoof on Rarity's left foreleg and stomped it so hard that the bone could be seen sticking out of it. Rarity screamed in pain.
Applejack attempted to charge in and save her friend, but Twilight stopped her. "Not yet - if we move too fast, the other three might kill the children!" She turned to Wedge and uttered the one word he and the police had been waiting for an hour to hear. "Go." Wedge nodded and turned to the police. He had two unicorns including himself and two earth ponies too work with.
"All right, Chief Cufflink, make yourself and Hot Fuzz invisible. I've got Gumhoof." His fellow unicorn nodded, and in a moment the four were invisible. They snuck up to the entrance of the school and hid beneath the window. Wedge ordered, "OK, take the invisibility off of Hot Fuzz. Chief Cufflink, you and I will go in first and disable the unicorn and the pegasus, respectively. Once they're down, Hot Fuzz, Gumhoof, you follow us and we all jump the earth pony together. On my mark... ready... mark!" Hot Fuzz and Gumhoof reappeared and the two unicorns charged in. Wedge grabbed the spear from the pegasus' hooves and bashed him in the chin with its handle before hitting him with a stun spell knocking him out. Chief Cufflink telekinetically grabbed a nearby chair and sent it crashing onto the unicorn's head, taking him out as well. With that done, Hot Fuzz and Gumhoof rushed in and pinned Roughneck to the wall, leaving him wide open for a double blast from Wedge and Chief Cufflink. He slumped to the ground, and Wedge turned to the hostages. He discovered to his relief that they were terrified, but otherwise mostly uninjured. Wedge ran to the window and screamed, "They're down!" That was all the cue the other townsponies needed. Big Macintosh and Bulk Biceps let Derpy Hooves go, and the three charged in, quickly followed by Twilight Sparkle and an army of townsfolk. The final two foalnappers never stood a chance.
As Rarity was loaded into the ambulance, all of her friends tried to pile in with her. However, Nurse Redheart shook her head. "Sorry, folks. Family only." They nodded, and Redheart left with Rarity, Sweetie Belle, and their parents. Scootaloo ran off towards the hospital as well, and Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie decided to follow her in order to keep an eye on her and check up on Biggs. This left Twilight Sparkle and Applejack to confront Roughneck. They approached him as he was about to be carted off by Chief Cufflink and Gumhoof. Several curious fillies who had already recovered from shock, Apple Bloom included, also listened.
"Mr. Roughneck, age 37, currently wanted all across Equestria for crimes including arson, kidnapping, murder... and jaywalking?" Twilight shrugged and continued. "You are going to answer my questions, or I am going to let Applejack break your legs."
Roughneck spat, "You wouldn't. Interrogation is for police ponies."
Chief Cufflink shrugged. "One of the hostages was my daughter. It's too bad we had to break your leg during the rescue effort." Roughneck scowled.
Twilight asked, "Why did you do this? What did Mare Do Well ever do to you?"
Roughneck smiled. "Money, of course. I was paid a hefty amount of bits to lure her out and take her out."
"I'm sure you can figure out the next question on your own, but I'm gonna say it anyway. Who hired you?"
Roughneck paused. "...Sterling Silver." Everypony gasped. The reaction among the eavesdropping fillies was instantaneous. Slowly, they began backing away from Silver Spoon in horror. Derpy Hooves' daughter Dinky spoke up.
"Silver Spoon... that's your dad... THAT'S YOUR DAD!!!" Silver Spoon began stammering in confused horror. Diamond Tiara ran up to the police and jumped to her best friend's father's defense.
"There's no way - he would never do something like that! That bad guy is lying through his teeth!"
Apple Bloom joined in. "Besides, he tried to kidnap Silver Spoon! Why would he hire the ponies who endangered his daughter to do anythin'?"
Chief Cufflink responded by dropping another bombshell. "The police have no record of any kidnap attempt against Silver Spoon besides this one. You're not seriously taking the word of a well known self-centered attention whore who has every reason to want to protect Daddy and his money, are you?" At this accusation, Silver Spoon ran off crying. Diamond Tiara glared death at Chief Cufflink before running off to comfort her friend. Apple Bloom could only stand there in confusion as the police dragged Roughneck away in chains.
Sweetie Belle listened to the doctor as she rattled off Rarity's injuries. "Several broken bones, multiple bruises, internal bleeding... your sister will be hurting for a while, but she won't die, if that's what you're worried about." Sweetie Belle nodded and turned to her sister, who was lying on a bed in the emergency room.
"Why did you do that, Sis? You could have gotten yourself killed!"
"As long as you were safe, it honestly didn't matter what happened to me... and besides, I'll pull through! Why don't go you check on Biggs? I'm sure he and Scootaloo need your support more than I do." Sweetie Belle nodded and ran off to the surgery section of the hospital, where the other doctors were trying to save Biggs. She found Scootaloo, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie in the waiting room. Sweetie Belle sat down next to Scootaloo and put a hoof around her neck. They began waiting for news of Biggs' fate. Soon, they were joined by Twilight, Applejack, Wedge, and Apple Bloom, who updated the group on the accusation against Sterling Silver. Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo also refused to accept Roughneck's words as truth. The final member of the group to join them was Rainbow Dash, who revealed exactly how Rarity had gotten the Mare Do Well costume from her. The group waited for an hour, although it felt like three. Finally, Nurse Redheart appeared and dropped the next bombshell of the day.
"Ladies and Wedge, Biggs is going to pull through." The cheering from the nine ponies was deafening, and none more so than Scootaloo's.
It had been a long, long, long day, but Apple Bloom had finally returned home with her family after giving a statement to the police. Applejack was angrily muttering under her breath. "Stupid Mare Do Well, nearly gettin' everypony killed just so she could play hero..." Apple Bloom winced. She knew perfectly well her role in the mess, and did not need Applejack to remind her. "Ah mean, come on! Some hero! She chickened out and left Rarity to get the stuffin' beaten outta her in her stead!" Apple Bloom could barely choke back tears. "That scumbag is no better than the rest of those crooks! If ah find her, I'm gonna knock her teeth out, then rip her dumb mask off before ah ask her just why she couldn't be bothered to go the whole nine-"
"SHUT UP! JUST SHUT! THE HAY! UP! AH NEVER WANTED ANY OF THIS TO HAPPEN! AH JUST WANTED TO BE A HERO!!!"
Applejack stammered, "...Wha-"
Apple Bloom completely broke down. "...It was us the whole time... me... and the other Crusaders... we found your old costume in your closet... and we took it... took 'em all... and then it worked... Ah got mah cutie mark for bein' a superhero... we all got out cutie marks... Ah thought we were helpin'... and then those bad guys took us all hostage... We tried to do somethin', but we couldn't... Ah... couldn't... do... anythin'..." And with that, she began crying. Her family quickly began hugging her. It took a few minutes for her to calm down. When she did, she finally choked, "...Are you gonna tell Rarity and Biggs?"
Applejack visibly flinched. "...You know ah have to."
Apple Bloom nodded. "...Doesn't matter. Ah'm done... ah don't care anymore... ah'm done with this whole stupid charade..."
"Ah think that'd be best." Applejack helped her to bed, tucked her in, and kissed her good night. When she returned to the living room, Big Macintosh asked her the obvious question.
"What did Apple Bloom mean by your old costume?"
Applejack laughed nervously. "It's a long story..."
Apple Bloom couldn't for the life of her figure out where she was. All she knew was that she was falling. She finally hit the ground and felt a sharp pain all across her body. Getting up, she realized that she was at Ponyville Elementary. Turning around, she was stopped in her tracks by what could only be described as a monster. Twice the size of a fully grown pony, it had glowing red eyes, a jagged horn, pale, milky fur, and a deep, evil-sounding voice with which it used to address the terrified filly in front of it. "GOING SOMEWHERE?"
Apple Bloom tried to run, but was cut off by another monster. This one had devil wings and an orange coat. "WHY DID YOU LET ME DIE, HUH, COWARD?"
Apple Bloom squealed in fear. "B... Biggs? But... you didn't die! You survived!" The Biggs monster began chasing her. She tried to run again, but was cut off by the first monster, which she realized was a monsterified Rarity. As much as she attempted to flee, it was no use. To make matters worse, she was then surrounded by monster versions of all of her classmates and Cheerilee.
"YOU'RE NO HERO!" "YOU'RE JUST A SCARED LITTLE FILLY!" "YOU LET US DIE!" "IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!" Apple Bloom began to cry.
"...No... make it stop... ah didn't mean to... HELP!" She was pinned down to the ground by the monsters. As they attempted to carve her to pieces, a sudden flash of light came out of nowhere, and the Biggs monster exploded. The Rarity monster turned around to find the source of the interruption.
"WHO ARE YOU?"
The being gave a cocky smile in response. "Me? I am Luna, Princess of the Night, co-ruler of Equestria and watchpony of the dreamscape. KNEEL." The monsters attempted to swarm Luna, but her horn glowed and everything that wasn't her or Apple Bloom was promptly blown to dust. Once they were gone, she approached the terrified Apple Bloom and helped her to a standing position.
"P... Princess Luna..." Apple Bloom quickly bowed.
Luna gestured for Apple Bloom to follow. "Let's take a walk, shall we?" The two of them suddenly found themselves in a museum. Looking around, Apple Bloom realized that the exhibits were all made from her memories. They approached the first exhibit, which showed Apple Bloom getting her cutie mark. The real Apple Bloom flinched.
"...Why are you showin' me this? I tried to be a superhero, and all it did was get ponies hurt..."
Luna gave a warm smile, and they began walking to the next exhibit. "Oh, really? I think Miss Heartstrings and Miss Silver Spoon would beg to differ." The next exhibit showed the Cutie Mark Crusaders rescuing Lyra and Silver Spoon. "Had it not been for your interference, Lyra would have been robbed blind of all of her valuables, including the engagement ring she was planning to propose to her marefriend Bon Bon with. And as for Silver Spoon, well... it seems to me that at best, she would have made a hefty ransom price. At worst..." She trailed off thoughtfully.
Apple Bloom realized something. "Wait a minute... if you can read mah mind and know all about Silver Spoon's kidnappin', then why can't you just go in and fix everythin'?"
Luna sighed. The next exhibit was not one of Apple Bloom's memories; rather, it was a villain from one of those dumb video games that Big Macintosh liked to play. As the filly and the alicorn approached, the villain spoke. "Are we to allow dreams into evidence now? How am I to defend my innocence against this kind of testimony?"
Luna turned to Apple Bloom. "Whatever proof you have of the kidnapping attempt lies inside your own head. And believe me when I say that not very many ponies will take the word of three troublemaking foals seriously."
"We don't make that much trouble..." The next exhibit had a newspaper with the words Gabby Gums on it. "OK, movin' right along!"
Luna laughed before continuing. "In all seriousness, do you truly believe that Sterling Silver would be capable of hiring mercenaries to kidnap his own daughter?"
"...No. No, ah don't."
"Then we come to our next problem - how Chief Cufflink doesn't seem to know anything about the kidnap attempt." They reached the next exhibit, one of Cufflink arguing with Silver Spoon, Diamond Tiara, and Apple Bloom. "Assuming that you are correct and that Sterling Silver is a victim in all of this, it's safe to say that as soon as he had secured his daughter's safety, that he would contact the police. If so, then in order for Cufflink to deny any such allegations, somepony in the police department would have to have buried the report."
Apple Bloom blanched. "Are... are you sayin' that the police are the bad guys?"
Luna mused, "I'm saying that at least somepony in the police department is. Cufflink can't be the only dirty cop, or else one of his subordinates would have stepped up to defend Sterling as soon as the accusation against him was made. That means that either Hot Fuzz or Gumhoof has betrayed him and Ponyville, or that yes, the entire department is corrupt. Either way, that brings us to our final problem - the police are not going to be reliable allies if we are to find out what really happened."
Apple Bloom asked, "If we can't trust the police, who can we trust?"
Luna smiled. "I think you already know the answer to that question." Apple Bloom blinked, and suddenly she was clothed in the iconic costume of Mare Do Well. "As you are the only one who has the first pieces of this puzzle and is definitely not in cahoots with the enemy, that means it's up to you to stop them."
Apple Bloom whimpered in fear. "But... what if I get somepony else hurt?"
"Do you really think what happened at the school was your fault? If not for you, the enemy would be able to harm good ponies like Biggs and Rarity without any sort of comeuppance. I may not be as good as Celestia at the whole 'chessmaster' thing, but I am pretty confident you'll be able to find and stop this menace." Apple Bloom nodded. "Oh, and one more thing..." They reached the final exhibit. This was a far more distant memory - Apple Bloom realized it was the first time she met Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. "You will need the help of your friends. I know what you're thinking - I have to do this alone and not put my friends in harm's way and all that. Well, it won't work. The magic of friendship is a powerful tool. Use it, and I know you'll come out on top." Apple Bloom suddenly found herself floating away. She opened her eyes and found herself in her bedroom, and realized that she had woken up. As she got out of bed, Applejack entered her room.
Apple Bloom said, "Hi, Sis."
"Hi, Apple Bloom. Sleep well?"
"Yeah. I had a lot to think about."
Applejack nodded. "Well, come on. We're headin' to the hospital. Gonna visit Rarity and Biggs." She tactfully avoided mentioning the fact that she intended to reveal the Cutie Mark Crusaders' secret to them. As Apple Bloom began putting her lucky bow on, she started thinking to herself again.
How am I gonna convince Applejack we gotta do this?
Twilight Sparkle ran around her castle frantically making sure that everything was in order. "Wedge, are all of the books in the library organized properly?"
"For the third time, yes."
"Has the castle been dusted thoroughly?"
"For the sixth time, yes."
"Does my mane look right?"
"Your highness, if you continue to stress yourself out like this, Spike has taught me the proper way to cure said stress and that I should do so immediately if you appear to be having another nervous breakdown."
"Does this cure involve a frying pan?"
"No."
"Phew."
"It involves a bookshelf being brought down upon your head." Wedge was spared a retort by the sound of trumpets blaring. The two made their way outside and were greeted by the sight of the royal chariot. The chariot contained what had to be the strangest trio in all of Equestria. The first one out was a tiny purple dragon, who immediately jumped into Twilight's waiting hooves. The second one out was a being that looked like whatever gods there were got drunk one night and made a creature out of whatever spare parts they could find. He at first distanced himself from the reuniting duo, but Twilight telekinetically drew him into the hug as well.
"Spike... Discord... oh man, did I miss you guys!"
Spike finally ended the group hug. "I'll say! We came running as soon as we heard what happened! I never should have left you! I should have - I should have-"
Discord shook Spike by the shoulders. "Calm down! Hindsight is 20-20. The important part is that only two ponies got seriously injured, discounting the foalnappers, and both of them, if my information is correct, are expected to recover!"
"But those two ponies are two ponies too many." The third being stepped out of the chariot. A beautiful white coat, mystical rainbow mane, and majestic wings and horn all heralded the arrival of Equestria's elder diarch, Her Majesty Princess Celestia. "It's been too long, my faithful student." Twilight nodded, and noticed that Celestia's usual wise, playful smile was replaced by a look of grim seriousness that never heralded anything good. "Come on, Twilight. You too, Master Sergeant Wedge." The two ponies nodded and entered the castle. Spike and Discord exchanged a glance before following. "We have a lot to discuss."
"I'm sorry about the way the whole mess went down... I tried not to let anypony get hurt, but-" Celestia silenced her student with her wing.
"Like Discord said, no lasting harm was done. If anything, it was your lack of resources that allowed the situation to progress to that point in the first place. Namely, the fact that instead of a full retinue of staff, support, and logistics, you had two soldiers. One of which spent the entire incident incapacitated. I aim to fix that problem immediately. I'm formally organizing the Royal Guard Fourth Division, and I need a competent pony to act as its commander. Captain Wedge, I trust you can fulfill this role?"
"It's a great honor, your highness. Thank you."
"You'll be reporting directly to Princess Twilight, as usual. Oh, and tell Biggs that since you need a second in command, he's been promoted to Lieutenant."
"He'll be thrilled, your highness."
"Good. Now, to our main order of business - the ponies responsible for this outrage."
Twilight nodded and produced a preliminary police report. "When the foalnappers were apprehended, they claimed to have been hired by Sterling Silver, a local business magnate. The police are currently questioning him and gathering a case against him."
"Do they have any evidence against Sterling besides the mercenaries' word?"
Twilight thought for a moment. "...No."
Celestia frowned. "Then make sure the police don't discount the possibility that they were lying in order to protect their real client. It wouldn't do to have false charges brought up against an innocent pony."
"I'll keep that in mind."
Celestia nodded. "Our next issue - I understand that they demanded to see a local superhero - the second Mare Do Well?"
"Yes."
"But Mare Do Well never came. Rarity was forced to assault one of her best friends, steal one of the old costumes, and risk her life in order to save the foals." Twilight could not suppress a look of depression. "Do you have any idea why?" Twilight could only shake her head.
Spike interjected, reminding everypony that he and Discord were still there. "Maybe she couldn't do anything because she was one of the hostages? You know, like that one issue of Batpony!"
Twilight scolded, "Spike, this isn't a comic book!" However, Celestia threw a smile Spike's way.
"Regardless, it's a valid theory. You should ask their teacher about it - her name is Cheerilee, right?" Twilight nodded. "Well, that's all the time I have right now - I do have a kingdom to run. Send me a letter if you get any updates, OK?" Twilight nodded again, and Celestia and Discord took their leave. Twilight followed, leaving Spike and Wedge to start cracking jokes about Twilight's OCD. As she left the castle, Twilight ran into Rainbow Dash, who was now sporting a bandage wrapped around her head.
"Hey, Twilight. I wanted to talk with you about... you know." Twilight nodded, and the two began walking. Rainbow Dash updated her on all of the investigation that she and Biggs had accomplished before the incident.
When she was done talking, Twilight mused, "So Mare Do Well is the size of a filly..."
Rainbow Dash nodded. "So now we have to find a pony with dwarfism. You know, like the guy that plays Tyron Landstar on Game of Thrones - what's his name?"
Twilight shrugged - she didn't care for such violent television programs. "Well, that knocks off Cheerilee from the suspect list..."
"Cheerilee?"
"Spike thought that Mare Do Well was taken hostage, and that was why she didn't help."
Rainbow Dash gasped. "But if that's true, then the only ponies among the hostages who were the size of fillies were..." It took a moment for Twilight to catch up, something that was an inversion of what one who knew these two would usually expect.
"Rainbow Dash... are you seriously suggesting that Mare Do Well... is a schoolfilly?!"
"Maybe one, maybe more. Lyra said that Mare Do Well moved so fast, it was like there were three of them, remember? And I thought that meant that there were multiple Mare Do Wells, just like last time."
"But if you're right and Mare Do Well is a filly, then that means we have to look at the evidence again! If she's a filly, then we may very well have overlooked her in the initial investigation! Did any fillies show up in connection to any of the evidence? Somepony you may have ignored the first time?"
Rainbow Dash began to think. "Well, the only fillies I can think of off the top of my head are..."
Nah, unless you've decided to become a superhero behind everypony's backs, you didn't do it. ...You haven't decided to become a superhero behind everypony's backs, have you?
Uh... no. Of course not. That's... that's just dumb. Well, I'ma gonna go play with Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo now, seeya later, bye!
"...I thought it was nothing, but Apple Bloom was acting really weird that day..."
...and Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle came in two days ago asking for help planning a surprise birthday party for Scootaloo.
The hell? Scoot's birthday isn't for another six months!
...and Friday Apple Bloom and Scootaloo asked me for help possibly buying a pet at some point for Sweetie Belle.
"...She was at both Pinkie's and Fluttershy's on Friday... and she had another crusader with her both times..."
"Rainbow Dash? Are you saying..."
"The Cutie Mark Crusaders."
"Do you really think they'd be that crazy?" Rainbow Dash glared at her friend, who chuckled nervously. "Ask a stupid question, get a death glare..."
Applejack and Apple Bloom entered the hospital. After checking in with the receptionist, they headed to Rarity's room first. Sweetie Belle was sitting by Rarity's bed, watching her try to walk with the aid of her magic. When she saw the Apple sisters, she ran out to greet them. "Hi, Apple Bloom! Hi, Applejack! Rarity's recovering a lot faster than the doctors thought!"
Applejack said, "Hello, Sweetie Belle. Or should ah say..." She lowered her voice to a whisper. "...hello, Mare Do Well?"
Sweetie Belle stared at Apple Bloom, who looked at the ground in shame. "Ah cracked... ah'm sorry..."
"...Are you gonna tell my sister?"
"Yes."
"...At least let her hear it from me. I owe her that much." Applejack thought for a moment, and then nodded. Sweetie Belle returned to Rarity's room and closed the door. They watched as the two began talking. When Rarity blanched before sitting on the bed in a stupor, they knew the deed was done. Turning to head for Biggs' room, they saw Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle entering the hallway. The two ran up and greeted the Apple sisters.
Rainbow Dash got straight to the point. "Hi, Applejack. I did more digging, and I think Apple Bloom and the Cutie Mark Crusaders are Mare Do Well." Applejack blanched.
"How long have you known?"
"...Wait, what? How long have you known?"
Apple Bloom promptly jumped between the two, defusing the argument before it could get started. "Ah never told anypony until last night. Ah cracked and told mah family, and Applejack came over here first thing in the mornin' to tell Rarity and Biggs. ...Wait, how do you two know?"
Twilight said, "I may not like to brag, but the fact is that I graduated at the top of my class at Celestia's School For Gifted Unicorns, and Rainbow Dash has a bit of an obsession complex with the identity. You had to realize somepony would have figured you out eventually." Apple Bloom nodded as Sweetie Belle came out of her sister's room, doing her best to support Rarity. Applejack picked up her friend's foreleg and slung it over her neck, and the four adults and two fillies made their way to Biggs' room. Scootaloo, seeing them, ran out to greet them.
"Hey, guys!"
Apple Bloom got straight to the point. "They know."
"About what?"
Sweetie Belle simply stated, "About Mare Do Well." Scootaloo's jaw dropped. "Apple Bloom cracked." Scootaloo nodded and, knowing what was to come, let the group into Biggs' room. Biggs had, beyond all belief, dragged himself back into consciousness.
"Hey, everypony... They all thought I wasn't gonna make it, but I was like 'Frigg off, I have a daughter waiting for me!' And then I fought back to life! Hehehe.."
Twilight took the lead. "Hello, Biggs. You want the good news or the bad news?"
Biggs reached over to the bag full of his possessions and pulled out his wallet, from which he pulled out a bit. Biggs proceeded to flip the bit. "...Good news wins. 11-8, bad news, you gotta pick up the pace!"
"Princess Celestia is reorganizing my guard into a full division, and you have been named it's sub-commander and promoted to Lieutenant. Wedge is now a Captain, and you'll be reporting directly to him."
"Your daughter and her two best friends are Mare Do Well."
"...OK, seriously. What's the bad news?"
Scootaloo stepped forward. "...She's... we're... we're not joking. Me and Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom... we are Mare Do Well. ...Surprise?" She hugged her father. Biggs' jaw dropped, but he returned the embrace.
Once they let go, Applejack spoke. "Well, ah've had a chat with Apple Bloom, and now ah'm gonna ask of you what ah've asked of her. None of y'all are gonna do anything this crazy ever again, you promise?" Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo began to nod, but Apple Bloom cut them off.
"Actually, ah did a lot of thinkin' last night, and ah realized somethin'. Sis, ah'm real sorry... but ah've changed mah mind. Ah ain't done. Not yet."
"...Excuse me?'
"Silver Spoon was tellin' the truth. Those bad guys really did try to kidnap her. Ah know - we know. We stopped them. Ah think one or all of the police ponies are bad guys too, and either way we're the only ones who are willin' to look at Sterlin' Silver as a good guy and can still do somethin' about it." She turned to her friends. "Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, ah know ah have no right to ask this of ya... but ah could really use your help right about now."
Scootaloo piped up, "Do you even need to ask?"
Sweetie Belle added, "We're your friends. We're with you to the end!" The three nodded, and Applejack's eye began to twitch.
"Are... are ya askin' to be grounded for a month?!"
Apple Bloom turned to her sister. "Go ahead and try if it makes you feel any better."
"Why, you little - Are you tryin' to get yourselves killed?!"
"Hold on!" Everypony turned to the speaker - it was Rainbow Dash. "Maybe this isn't any of my business... but when you first decided to create the original Mare Do Well, how did you know you would only be dealing with natural disasters? How did you know you wouldn't have to fight criminals? How did you know the same thing that happened to the crusaders wouldn't have happened to you?!" Applejack recoiled as the realization hit her that she had a point. "And correct me if I'm wrong, but you were just four civilians whose only advantage over Joe Pony was that you were the elements! Apple Bloom... that's no fashion cutie mark, is it?"
Apple Bloom shook her head. "No... it's a superhero cutie mark."
"You didn't have that blatant sticker on your butt telling you that this was your calling."
Applejack spluttered, "...But... ah don't want mah sister to get hurt... She's only a child, for cryin' out loud..."
Apple Bloom gave her sister a hug. "Ah know... but this is somethin' ah gotta do. Ah know you understand." And with that, the three fillies left the room. They had a lot of preparation to do. Rarity turned to Biggs.
"Should I go and say something?"
Biggs sighed. "I think Applejack has said everything we could have said... and I think Scoot and her friends have said everything they needed to say." He turned his head to the door. "I just hope you know what you're doing..."
Once they left the hospital, Apple Bloom began summarizing what they needed to be able to fight the bad guys who had taken them hostage. "We need more gadgets. Scootaloo, have you begun workin' on those Mare-Do-Rangs and upgraded grapplin' hooks yet?"
"With all the chaos, no, but I'll get right on that."
"Sweetie Belle, we need to learn how to fight. Not just you, though, but all three of us - you're probably gonna be our heavy hitter, though."
"With Scootaloo's dad hurt the way he is, he's in no condition to teach us anything. That just leaves Wedge..."
Apple Bloom nodded. "The problem is, how are we gonna convince him to teach us anythin'?"
Wedge was dumbfounded. "Why would I teach three innocent fillies how to fight?"
Sweetie Belle took the lead. "Fighting is my cutie mark talent, so I've gotta know how to do it! I might be looking at a future as a Royal Guard or something, so I might as well get a head start! And as for Apple Bloom and Scootaloo, we do everything together! Just because we have our cutie marks now doesn't mean that has to stop! So please?
Wedge frowned. "I don't know..." The three fillies began to use their (in)famous puppy-eye trick. Wedge started to sweat.
"PWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE?"
"I... it's not... safe... for you..."
"PWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE?"
Press X to resist! Wedge began to mash his mental X button.
"OK, fine! But you're going to have to get permission from your families!" Wedge began gasping for breath. "And I warn you... my teaching will not be easy..."
"Fine by us."
Twilight and Rainbow Dash ended up heading back to the castle after discovering Mare Do Well's true identity. Rainbow Dash couldn't help musing, "You know, I still can't believe we didn't catch the CMC sooner. It was so obvious in hindsight..."
"I guess it was kind of dumb, but your deductive reasoning evidently needs work. After all, you jumped to the complete wrong conclusion when you learned her - uh, their size. As for the rest of us, nopony really cared enough to look too deeply."
"Even Biggs?" Twilight glared at her friend, who chuckled nervously. "Ask a stupid question, get a death glare..." They were interrupted by the sight of the CMC running up to them. "Oh, hey guys..."
Apple Bloom asked, "Hey Twilight and Rainbow Dash, can you teach Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo how to do magic and fly, respectively?"
The two adults glanced at each other. Twilight said, "Uh... of course we would, but why are you asking us this now? ...Wait, this is about-"
The three fillies nodded. "Of course it is." Suddenly, they were all rained on by chocolate milk. Looking up, they saw Discord waving to them from atop a cloud. Apple Bloom, dumbfounded, asked, "Why are you pouring chocolate milk on us?"
Discord began juggling his limbs. "Well, after my whole hindsight speech to Spike, I realized something horrible - I'm going soft! So I'm flexing my chaos magic." The five ponies shrugged. Discord glanced around before turning to the reader. "You know, I think this fan-fic writer is an idiot. It's about time he put my characterization back on track. I mean, it really says something when probably the most faithfully characterized pony is Pinkie Pie, and she had four lines and a profanity joke!" Discord then realized something else horrible. "Wait a minute... showing up out of nowhere for no clear reason... preaching ideals... breaking the fourth wall! Dear God, I'm being used for a self-deprecating author tract! DAMN YOU, AUTHOR!!!"
Apple Bloom read the pamphlet on the town bulletin board. "PARKOUR LESSONS! JUST 5 BITS FOR 5 EASY LESSONS! GET FROM A TO B IN A FLASH!!! ...Sounds like a good thing for me to invest in to keep up when the others start teleportin' around and flyin' everywhere." Soon, she had signed herself up for lessons and began learning how to dash up and around things so fast it would make anypony's head spin.
Meanwhile, after Sweetie Belle had visited her sister at the hospital (and reassured her for the umpteenth time that no, the fight at the school had not ruined her mane), she began learning magic from Twilight Sparkle at her castle. "Now, the only good way to learn how to do anything is by reading books, studying, and ruthless memorization! Spike! Get me Mad Merlin's Magical Menagerie!"
As Spike got the book, he mused, "Doesn't menagerie mean a collection of animals or something? You pick this stuff up a lot when you hang with Fluttershy."
Twilight took the comically oversized tome and responded, "They called him Mad Merlin for a reason. I think he just wanted to keep the alliteration going, got lazy, and picked the first word that came into his head whether it made sense or not." Sweetie Belle took one look at the book's contents and blanched at all of the hyper-advanced magibabble. "Don't worry, I'll be able to translate it into Equestrian for you."
Finally, at Rainbow Dash's cloud house, Equestia's fastest flier began to teach her old protégé. "Now, the only good way to learn how to do anything is by experience and actually going out there and doing it! Scoot, look over the edge. See that lake down there?" Scootaloo nodded. "In order to give pegasi who need to crash land for some reason a safe place to go down, all Equestiran lakes have been magically treated so that they won't hurt you when you fall from a great distance."
Scootaloo, failing to see the obvious trap and falling right into it, asked, "How does this help me learn to fly?" She promptly got her answer when Rainbow Dash shoved her off of the cloud house. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"
"Don't worry, Scoot! Learning by doing!"
A week had gone by, and the three fillies, taking full advantage of the town-wide school closures in the wake of the near-tragedy, had made amazing progress in all of their lessons. Apple Bloom would only go places by taking a straight path, ignoring any obstacles, Sweetie Belle was trying to teleport everywhere, and Scootaloo had, after being thrown off of a building 87 times, finally flitted back up and gotten payback on her teacher/tormentor by punching her in the jaw. (Rainbow was mildly amused.) All three fillies had also learned basic self defense from Wedge, and were well on their way to becoming superheroes. During one of Sweetie Belle's lessons with Twilight, Scootaloo came in with a problem for one of her inventions. "Hey, Twilight, I need your help. I'm trying to get these Mare-Do-Rangs to work, but I can't seem to get them to hit anything and come back at the same time! The laws of physics keep getting in the way!" Twilight took the prototype boomerang, looked at it, and decided to try a magic enchantment. After she did this, Scootaloo returned home and tried it out again. This time, it worked like a charm.
Three weeks had gone by since the school incident, and Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo decided that they were fully qualified to go back into the field and clean up the mess they had left behind. The group met up at Carousel Boutique to plan their next move. Once they had decided on their plan of attack, they began to gather up the pieces of their makeshift costumes. However, there was a knock at the door. When Sweetie Belle opened her bedroom door, she was greeted by the sight of her sister Rarity, who had been discharged from the hospital and was now wearing her lucky red thinking glasses. "Oh, hi, sis! We were just about to go."
Rarity sighed. "Sweetie Belle... and Apple Bloom and Scootaloo... are you really sure about this?"
Sweetie Belle nodded. "We have to. Somepony has to stop the bad guys. It might as well be the divinely chosen superhero and her two best friends." Rarity nodded.
"Well... if you have to be stupid..." She telekinetically pulled out a trunk and brought it into the room. "You can at least be stupid and fashionable." The three fillies opened the trunk. Inside were three filly-sized Mare Do Well costumes. "It was a lot of hard work, but I managed to invent a fabric that will be far stronger than steel and still quite breathable. Twilight tested it. Please... just don't get hurt..." The three fillies nodded and began getting dressed.
"You're the best sister ever!"
"Wha - no, she ain't. Applejack is the best sister ever."
"That's crazy. Rarity is cooler."
"No, mah sister is cooler!"
"Rarity!"
"Applejack!"
"Rarity!"
"Applejack!"
"Me, obviously!"
Scootaloo facehoofed, seeing that for some reason she was going to have to be the responsible one. "OK, everypony, SHUT UP!!!" Everypony shut up. Rarity gave her sister one last hug. Then she sat back as the Cutie Mark Crusaders - no, Mare Do Well, jumped out the window and vanished into the Ponyville night.
Sterling Silver poured his old friend Filthy Rich a glass of scotch whisky, and then promptly guzzled the rest of the bottle down. It had been an extremely stressful three weeks - his company's stock had dropped 30 points and he was the punching bag of every financial magazine in Equestria, his daughter was being bullied around town (although he had always tried to get her to stop her bullying ways, he had never wanted it to happen like this), and if something wasn't done soon, he could very well go from riches to rags. All because of those bucking foalnappers and their absolutely horrifying lie.
Rich (not Filthy) asked, "Do you want another bottle?" Sterling nodded, and Rich went out into the hall and had a servant bring some more scotch. When he returned, he continued, "Well, it's no wonder you need it, given the circumstances. You know, I could help you out a bit - take some stock off your hands. Above the current selling price, of course. I'm always here for you, you know..."
Sterling responded, "No stinking way! I am not handing over a cent of my company until I have hit the bottom of the barrel!"
Rich frowned. "I... think you're drunk."
"No duh! Gotta keep... things off my mind... I'll find... a way out eventually..."
"Hm... well, I hope you're not underestimating the problem. You know my number, Sterling. I'll be in touch." He gave Sterling a pained hoof-bump before leaving. Once the office door shut, Sterling buried his head in his hooves and stifled back some tears. Suddenly, he heard a noise near his window. Looking at it, he saw the strangest sight he ever saw, and wondered if he was having an alcohol-induced hallucination. The pony that was gracefully landing in his office was dressed in a form-fitting purple jumpsuit, complete with a matching hat, cape, and mask that completely disguised her (he was vaguely sure it was a she) and any way to identify her.
"Who... who the hay are you?"
"You can call me Mare Do Well." Her voice had been somehow distorted to sound far deeper than would normally be possible. The name rang a bell in Sterling's mind.
"Wait a minute... those guys who kidnapped my daughter! They were after... WHERE THE BUCK WERE YOU?!"
Mare Do Well's gaze shot to the floor. "I... I'm so sorry. I was indisposed..." At this point, Sterling realized that she was barely half his height.
"Wait a minute... you're a filly... were you a hostage?" Mare Do Well nodded. "You... were you the one who saved Silver Spoon that... Saturday?"
"Sunday." Mare Do Well took the half-drained bottle, recorked it as best she could, and set it on the ground. "You've had too much to drink." She promptly helped Sterling into a sitting position on his comfy office chair. "I came here for a reason - I'm gonna find the people who were responsible for what happened at the school, and I'm gonna bring them down, but I need some information from you. Is there anypony who would benefit from ruining you?"
Sterling thought for a moment, and then muttered, "I... I don't know..."
"Anypony you've made an enemy out of?"
"No..."
Mare Do Well sighed. "If that's the case, you can still help me - go back to the day Silver Spoon got kidnapped the first time, the day I actually managed to do something about it. The gang barged in and kidnapped her. They fled to their escape carriage, but I destroyed it. Silver Spoon escaped, and I... uh, lured the bad guys away. I need to know what you did at that point."
"Why? What does this have to do with anything?"
"Please bear with me. I want to help you, but you need to help me."
Sterling sighed. "I... I figured she would run to either the police or Filthy Rich and Diamond Tiara's house. Probably the latter, since it was closer. Filthy Rich is an old family friend, and his daughter Diamond Tiara is Silver Spoons best... well, only friend. I went there first, found out she was safe... I left my wife there to keep her sort of comfortable while I went to the police."
"What happened there?"
"I talked to the officer on duty that night. He said he would take care of it, he said to make sure everypony was unharmed... I thought he would help..."
"The police officer you talked to. What was his name?"
Sterling thought for a moment. "I don't know..."
"Did you at least see a cutie mark?"
"Uh, yeah... it was a piece of gum or something..." Mare Do Well visibly jerked her head at this revelation. "Why do you care?"
Mare Do Well hopped up onto Sterling's desk. "Think about it. If Cufflink didn't know about the kidnap attempt, then that means that either the Ponyville PD buried it, or somepony under his command did. I now know that Officer Gumhoof knew about the original kidnap attempt, which means he's involved and I have a lead. Thank you for your cooperation, Mr. Silver. This... this means a lot to me." Sterling nodded, and the two stood there in an awkward silence for a moment. "Uh... this is the part where you're supposed to hear something and get distracted, and then when you turn around I've dramatically vanished."
Sterling chuckled despite himself. "Welcome to reality, kid." Mare Do Well nodded before bounding back out the window and into the night.
As the three fillies headed to the police station, Apple Bloom filled the group in on what she had learned. "...And then ah tried to do that mysterious vanishin' thing, but it didn't work."
Sweetie Belle mused, "I can't believe you can completely get rid of your accent now."
"Ah can't believe your big sis made us these costumes. They fit like a second skin!"
"See? Toldja she was the best sister ever."
"Wha- no, she ain't-"
Scootaloo interrupted them by bopping them both lightly on their heads. "So Gumhoof is the bad guy?"
Apple Bloom nodded. "That's assumin' he's the only one. Come on, we're here!" The three fillies arrived at the police station. Looking through the window, they saw that Gumhoof was working the night shift once again. He filed some paperwork, put it away, and then looked around before leaving. The Cutie Mark Crusaders promptly followed. Gumhoof gave several paranoid glances (like Roughneck and his gang, he was not paranoid enough) before fleeing into an alley. The CMC climbed onto a nearby roof and, seeing that he was meeting somepony, began to eavesdrop.
The unknown pony was a unicorn with a dark green coat and a purple mane. "Have you been followed?"
"Glad to see you too, you little-"
"Have? You? Been? Followed?"
Gumhoof looked around nervously. "...No."
"Is the Ponyville police department still unaware of our activities?"
"Yeah. It hasn't been easy, but I've managed to keep the chief and my partner in the dark." That statement meant Cufflink and Hot Fuzz weren't involved.
The unicorn continued, "You have destroyed the report you made on our first attempt to foalnap Silver Spoon, correct?" The pony had been involved with Roughneck and his gang. Things were getting better and better.
"Y... yeah." Gumhoof shifted uncomfortably.
"Good. Here is your payment. My organization appreciates your services." The unicorn handed him a small bag of bits and vanished.
Gumhoof shook his head. "What a dirtbag..." He began to leave, but was blindsided by four boomerangs which hit all of his legs. Gumhoof tried to figure out where he was being attacked from, but a claw-like object hooked into his side and electrocuted him into unconsciousness.
Scootaloo chuckled from their rooftop perch. "Man, we are good shots!" The three fillies hopped down and made sure Gumhoof was still alive. For one last confirmation of his identity, the three check his flank. Sure enough, there was a piece of gum on his side. "Well, who gets to interrogate him?"
Sweetie Belle laughed. "I came prepared."
Gumhoof came to a moment later. "Oh, boy..." The first thing he realized was that his four legs (not forelegs) were all tied together. Figuring out that he was trapped, he began to struggle.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you..." The voice sounded deep and demonic, but still unmistakably feminine.
"Who the hay are you?"
The figure stepped forward. She looked like something from one of those dumb comic books, wearing a dark purple costume with a cape, hat, and most annoyingly, a face-concealing mask. "You can call me Mare Do Well."
Gumhoof chuckled. "Oh, so you were the so-called hero who sat by and did nothing about those innocent schoolfillies!"
"Not of my own choice, I assure you. Needless to say, I intend to fix that, and a dirty cop seems to me to be a good place to start as any."
Gumhoof growled, "I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Don't play dumb with me. I saw you taking a bribe with my own two eyes. You just confessed to burying Silver Spoon's foalnap attempt!"
Gumhoof chuckled again. "Oh, did you? Well, buck you. You can't prove anything."
"Maybe not, Gumhoof, but you can tell me who that unicorn was and who he was working for!"
"...Wait, what did you just say?"
"Uh... who was the unicorn and who did he work for?"
"Before that."
"You... just confessed to burying the foalnapping..."
"After that."
"Maybe... not... Gumhoof?"
Gumhoof tried to facehoof. Realizing that he was still tied up, he settled for lightly headbutting the ground. "Oh, for the love of - everypony thinks I have the gum cutie mark, so I must be Gumhoof. Well, Miss Smarty-Pants! I! AM! HOT FUZZ!"
Mare Do Well reeled. "Bwah?"
Gumhoo- uh, I mean, Hot Fuzz, laughed again. "Whatever insanity Gumhoof has himself buried in, you can take it to him! Now let me go!"
Mare Do Well promptly recovered from her shock. "I don't think so. The information that led me to you specifically mentioned your cutie mark, not your name, and I saw you taking the bribe. Now, I'm gonna ask you again. Who was that unicorn and who was he working for?"
"Buck you."
Mare Do Well shrugged. "Oh, well. Looks like this is gonna take a while. Good thing I brought lunch!" Mare Do Well took off her hat (unwisely revealing that she had a horn) and pulled out a small bag containing some salad. "C'mon, eat up. You wouldn't want to be interrogated on an empty stomach, would you?"
Hot Fuzz sighed. If Mare Do Well wanted to kill him, she would have slit his throat while he was out cold, and she needed his information, so she wouldn't try to poison him. He watched as she pushed the bag of salad to him and took a bite. He then promptly gagged. "HOLY SHIT! WHO COOKED THIS CRAP?! I HAVEN'T TASTED FOOD THIS BAD SINCE THE POLICE CHARITY BALL!!!"
"Who was that unicorn and who was he working for?"
"Buck you!"
"Oh, well. Open wide!"
Hot Fuzz refused to open his mouth. "No!"
"Then tell me what I want to know!" When Hot Fuzz refused, Mare Do Well pried his mouth open and fed him more "salad".
"STAR SHINE!!! His name is Star Shine! He works for a mercenary group called Eclipse! They specialize in less-than-legal operations! They operate out of a warehouse in Southern Manehattan! Please let me go!"
"Not quite yet. You're going to confess to Cufflink and the real Gumhoof. You're going to tell them everything you did, and Sterling Silver is going to be freed being blamed for everything."
"No... I'd go to prison... besides... you can't prove I'm just saying that to get you to let me go!"
Mare Do Well did something surprising. She laughed. "You know, I've spent a lot of time around foals. One thing I've learned is that it's painfully obvious when they're lying, and isn't a stallion just a grown-up foal? I saw how you reacted when Star Shine asked you about that report! I think you were lying! I think you kept that report!"
"I... yeah, OK. I did. I figured if I got busted, I could use it to get a plea deal in exchange for a lighter sentence."
"Where is it?"
"It's at my house. I kept it under my mattress. Just let me go."
"Thank you for your cooperation."
Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo looked on from a safe distance as Cufflink and Gumhoof, responding to their friendly police call, barged into the police station and discovered the tied-up Hot Fuzz, who had a police report and a note on him that said From a friend. MDW. Untying him and reading the report, Cufflink went from stark white to beet red to plum purple in a matter of moments. "Why... is there a police report... with evidence related to the school incident... WITH YOUR BUCKING SIGNATURE ON IT?!" Hot Fuzz could only gulp in terror.
As the three fillies left, Apple Bloom asked, "You weaponized your cookin'?"
"Yep!"
Scootaloo laughed. "That was completely awesome! But who are the foals you've seen try and fail to lie?"
STERLING SILVER SCAPEGOATED!!! Apple Bloom couldn't suppress a smile as she read the newspaper headline the following morning. She didn't bother to read the rest of the article, seeing as she was secretly one of the three ponies who had exposed the whole conspiracy. Returning the paper to her big sister, she said, "Well, I'm gonna go play outside now. See ya!"
Applejack sighed. "Ya ain't gonna try and do somethin' stupid, are ya?"
"Nope. Since the bad guys are in Manehattan, ah can't do nothin' about it 'till ah head there. So ah figure we'd go play pirates or somethin'."
"Ah really don't think you should be runnin' off to Manehattan just so you can fight crime. You bailed Sterlin' out of the fryin' pan. Ain't that enough?"
"Ah've been waitin' for a chance to go visit Babs Seed. Besides, a hero is never idle! Now if y'all excuse me, I'm gonna go play." She went out the door with the energy only a filly could have.
Applejack sighed again and turned to her big brother. "Big Mac... you're with me on this, right?"
"Nope. Ah may not like it, but every time ah've tried to tell mahself that today, ah can't help but think about what would've happened to Sterlin' Silver if she hadn't intervened."
"...She's growin' up real fast..."
"Eeyup."
When Apple Bloom made it to the town plaza, she found Sweetie Belle waiting for her. "Hi, Sweetie Belle!"
"Oh, hi, Apple Bloom! So what's on the agenda for us today?"
"Ah figured we'd go play pirates or somethin'. Do you know where everypony else is?"
"Well, I can see Snips and Snails just over there. Looks like they've got... what is tha- TAKE COVER!!!" Sweetie Belle grabbed Apple Bloom and shoved her out of the way just as a telekinetically thrown water balloon splashed the area where Apple Bloom was standing.
The two colts laughed. "WATER BALLOON FIGHT!!!" The two fillies soon found their position bombarded with aquatic missiles.
Sweetie Belle began catching some of the balloons in mid-air with her magic. "Go! Run! I'll cover you!" The plaza was soon turned into a filly-sized war zone.
As Apple Bloom fled back home, she couldn't help but think, Good thing everythin's back to normal... When she returned, she barreled into her clubhouse and opened a loose floorboard. She began hastily shoving aside the CMC's most secret possessions. Eventually, she pulled out her new Mare Do Well costume. She admired the cool, heroic outfit... and then tossed it aside before getting what she really wanted - one of Scootaloo's old wagons containing a small stockpile of water balloons saved for just such an occasion. After replacing everything else, she began to move out. It was time to rescue her friend.
The water balloon fight ended with the unfortunate colts and their allies getting their own weapons dumped onto them. Sweetie Belle had held the line for ten minutes straight, during which the enemy had been reinforced by Dinky Hooves and Button Mash due to each of them owing Snips and Snails a favor. Eventually, Apple Bloom's return with their own munitions proved decisive, and the CMC were declared the winners. Apple Bloom pulled Snips and Snails back onto their hooves, and all six foals laughed. They began searching for more ways to spend the day. Apple Bloom asked, "Have any of you seen Scootaloo around here? Ah figured she'd have come and saved Sweetie Belle's hide."
Button Mash responded, "I heard her dad finally got his health back up to full. He's apparently getting out of the hospital today!" The other foals cheered loudly and began walking again. Apple Bloom glanced to her left and noticed Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. It occurred to her that Silver Spoon's usual poise and confidence/arrogance (depending on who you asked) had been all but non-existent during the past three weeks, but that due to her father's exoneration she had finally gotten some of her old spark back. Against all better judgement, she went over to go talk to the two of them, followed by an apprehensive Sweetie Belle.
"Hi, Diamond Tiara! Hi, Silver Spoon!"
Silver Spoon noticed the two of them. "Oh... hey."
"Ah heard the police finally figured out your dad's a good guy!"
Silver Spoon chuckled. "Yeah... they did."
Apple Bloom nodded. "Well... nice talkin' to ya!" She turned to leave, and Silver Spoon took a deep breath.
"Hey, Apple Bloom... I never properly thanked you and your friends for sticking up for me and my father... I didn't think anyone would!"
Apple Bloom turned around and smiled. "Any time."
"...Friends?" Silver Spoon extended a hoof. Apple Bloom bumped it.
"Friends." She turned hopefully to Diamond Tiara, who rolled her eyes. However, under a death glare from Silver Spoon, she also bumped Apple Bloom's hoof. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle returned to the main group, and the eight foals resumed their search for fun.
That night, Biggs got to relax in the comfort of his own home for the first time in three weeks. Given that he had spent his time in the hospital sleeping, there wasn't much difference, save that the food was slightly better. Biggs also had a wicked-looking scar on his chest and a smaller but matching scar on his back. Biggs happily jumped onto his bed, basking in the warmth of his soft, luxurious mattress. He heard a voice call out from the kitchen. "Hey, Dad! I made dinner for you!"
"Did you, now? Good. Anything's better then that trash they serve at the hospital."
"You have not tasted bad food until you have tasted Sweetie Belle's cooking." Scootaloo entered the bedroom balancing a tray on her head, which she offloaded onto Biggs' lap. He licked his lips and prepared to dig in, but stopped when he realized what his daughter was wearing - a purple jumpsuit with a matching cape. "I thought you should see me in costume at least once before I head off to Manehattan."
Biggs laughed. "It looks good on you... but shouldn't there be a mask or something?"
Scootaloo nodded. "There is, but I'd rather you be able to see my face when I talk to you." She showed him the mask and hat.
"Yeah... so, Manehattan... the bastards responsible for my sick leave are holed up there, is that right?"
"Yeah."
"You take care of yourself, you hear me? If anything happens to you, your mom will come back from the dead and make sure that this time, I don't get back up."
"Yes, sir!" She gave him a hug. "Do you think Mom's proud of me?"
"Definitely." Biggs began to eat.
"Hey, that reminds me - I haven't shown you all of my cool gadgets yet! You've already seen the grappling hook, but I never got to show you my physics-defying Mare-Do-Rangs!" And that was how the two spent the rest of the night.
The next morning, Biggs, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie saw off their friends and family. The Cutie Mark Crusaders would be accompanied by Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash. (Wedge was in charge of setting up the new division of bodyguards and so could not be in either group, but he sent his regards.) As they left the train station, they stuck their heads out the window and waved. Everypony waved back, and soon they were a speck on the horizon. Biggs quickly left, leaving behind Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie. Fluttershy turned to Pinkie Pie. "Hey, Pinkie?"
"Yeah?"
"You ever get the feeling we're being left out?"
"You remember that time I went insane and had a party with a bunch of inanimate objects, right? You know what I learned that day?"
Fluttershy thought for a moment. "...Don't assume the worst of your friends?" Pinkie shook her head.
"Besides that. A few weeks later, everypony kinda ignored me again because of the whole Sisterhooves Social thing. I was about to go insane again when I saw Rarity get some quality time with Sweetie Belle. That's when I learned that sometimes, it's just not your story."
Fluttershy nodded. "...You know, the Crusaders are doing a terrible job of keeping their secret identity secret."
Pinkie laughed. "Oh, yeah! Didja see the way they ran all over the place training themselves the past three weeks? And the day they stop, that's when Mare Do Well makes her big comeback! Totally obvious!"
"Well, they are only kids... even if they are superheroes."
