Luna's Boredom Cure

by Broniesrponies2

First published

Princess Luna is slipping back into her Pre-banishment ways due to boredom, when she suddenly stumbles on an idea that will change her life forever.

Princess Luna is slipping back into her Pre-banishment ways due to boredom, when she suddenly stumbles on an idea that will change her life forever.
I don't know where this story will take me. It is only my first fic, so if anyone would like to comment on the writing style, or indeed things you want to happen, please go ahead. Anything you guys can add to this will be appreciated.
I do reserve the right not to use bad ideas. This is not a clopfic, but I do intend for there to be drunken partying somewhere down the road. There will be ramifications.

An Idea Comes to Mind

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Luna sighed as she turned away from her telescope. Just another average evening with a young couple running down the street and a not so young couple “playing” on their balcony. It was probably because of the thrill of being near a two storey drop. Or maybe her own voyeurism. It was hard to tell with some mares and stallions these days. She walked over to a bunch that she had ordered brought up to the top of the tower and sat down. It was all well and good for ‘tia, she hadn’t been sitting on the moon for a thousand years. Luna’s muscles had atrophied and it was still hard to stand for long periods of time. Either way, her physiotherapist said that she was doing fine.

Luna let her mind wander for a while. Unless it was a busy night, a rare commodity, it was very boring watching over the hours of darkness. Luna envied ‘tia her job of watching the daytime, but she wasn’t about to try and cause a rebellion again. She doubted her sister would be so lenient this time.

No Luna thought as she sighed to herself, it probably wouldn’t be worth it. I could just commission some night clubs that everypony would-

Wait.

Yesss.

Luna called for her faithful unicorn guard. “Midnight, come here please.”
Midnight Guardian (an apt name, Luna thought to herself before remembering her own names peculiar relationship to her own vocation) strode through the door onto the balcony to join his princess.

“Yes, your Highness?” he asked, his voice alert despite the late hour.

“Would you please take a letter for me?”

“Of course.”

Luna smiled to herself. It had taken days (well nights) to break the stiff unicorn’s formality and mould him into something more… relaxing. “Address it to Vinyl Scratch in Ponyville and ask her to visit me on this balcony tomorrow evening. Inform her that she will sleep in the palace that night and warn her that it will regard a long term commission.”

Midnight obediently copied down the letter, holding it out with his magic for the princess to sign.

Luna signed the letter with her name, kissed her guard on the cheek, taking a silent pleasure in his blush as she did so, and dismissed him. It was shaping up to be a rather more interesting night she decided as she once again surveyed the rooftops of Canterlot. Thoughts kept crisscrossing inside her head as she looked from window to street to doorway, her eyes hungry for any not too strenuous fun. But alas, it was to no avail, so instead she searched for something in particular. That one little sign that would tell her how her problem of boredom would be solved.

She didn’t find it however and soon returned to her bench. Perhaps it wouldn’t be so much fun. She sighed again, slipping back into her melancholy ways of thought. She decided that for once, she didn’t want to be alone. She was a princess for Celestia’s sake, and an important one at that. Celestia was doing her job and so fair enough, but that new filly, princess Cadence, what had she ever done? She just sat around ogling princess Twilights brother.

Luna smiled a little to herself at that thought. Cadence and Shining were both airheads. A match made in heaven, Luna thought. Not that she was really that spiteful, but they held the wedding at NOON. The ONLY time that she couldn’t come and watch because of sleep. They could have held it at sunset, which was obviously a far more romantic time for a wedding. Honestly.

She called out for Midnight again. All the other guards had been able to go to the wedding and he had to sleep as well, so he was in the same boat. But stallions didn’t seem to care as much. Whatever, he usually sympathized with her on similar matters so maybe…

“Your Highness?” Midnight asked as he walked out onto the balcony.

“Were you ever annoyed at Shining Armor’s decision to hold the wedding at noon?” Luna asked.

“Not particularly, Luna. He told me in person that it was nothing personal but that Cadence ha-“

“That Bi-“Luna exclaimed cutting herself off mid word. Relaxed standards were one thing but swearing about something like this was… oh what the hell. Luna set off on a tirade of swearing that turned Midnight’s navy blue face red and gave it a slight glow. She looked over at him suddenly, realizing just how many forgotten words that she had brought back from the origins of Equestrian history.

“Sorry Midnight,” she apologised,” but it would appear that the incident-.”

She cut herself off again.

“What incident?” Midnight asked, eager to hear the story.

“Well,” Luna began,” one evening, I had just woken up and was taking breakfast- or dinner depending on your shift- with the then two other royal sisters. I was about to drink some chocolate milk when Cadence looked at me very, very smugly and said: “What, actually have to work tonight or are you just going to stare at your precious guard again?”
Luna paused to smile at the blush that was once again forming on her friend’s face.

“What did you say?” asked Midnight, his features still glowing.

Luna smile grew even bigger and more mischievous at the memory. “I didn’t say anything. I just picked up the pitcher of chocolate milk and poured it on her head. She didn’t even see it coming. A perfect comeback even if I do say so myself.”

Midnight looked appalled and amused at the antics of his lovable, kind, relaxed, but above all cheeky princess. Luna’s grin hadn’t shrunk at all, something that didn't quite assure the young guard that it was the end of the story, but that there was more to come. It didn't however and soon the two of them began discussing more normal matters.

"So," Luna started, "got a nice mare yet, or even a stallion?"

She winked at Midnight and made him blush AGAIN.

"No, I don't", he said as a sigh passed through his lips. It always seemed like she was trying to get him to take dinner/breakfast with her after their shift, but he knew he couldn't. It wasn't that he wasn't considered handsome. Quite the contrary, several nice looking mares had asked him out over the past few weeks, but.

And there it was. Out in the soup of his thoughts. That all pervading BUT. You know what. Screw the "but" I'm going to have some fun for once. He looked back up at his princess. Still weak after her years on the moon, but gaining in strength.

"I think I just stopped caring about the rules." he said slyly.

Luna's eyebrows shot up. She had not expected this. But, it was something that she had been working towards for a while. She stepped closer to HER Midnight Guardian. The one that she had so carefully been working at for all these weeks together. And who had finally come around to her way of thinking. The two ponies looked into one another's eyes, sharing the bond of countless nights together, alone. Their lips reached out to each other, and the two crazy ponies finally did what fate had been bringing them towards for the past two and a half years.

This Escalated Fast

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Luna tapped her hoof as she waited on her balcony. The moon had been up for over an hour and Vinyl still wasn’t here. She sighed, as she so often did these days, and began drafting in her head a more formal request for her proposal to the white unicorn. Yes, she thought to herself, it would have to be more formal. A widely respected pony like that. Midnight Guardian stood next to her, maintaining his vigil, as his princess was far too occupied with her own thoughts to watch over the sleeping city.

There was a knock on the balcony door. Luna opened the door with her magic and began…

“Vinyl there is-“

“Holy shhhhit.” A slurred voice said behind her.

Luna spun around. The white unicorn staggered on to the balcony, supported by her roommate Octavia. Luna gaped at the pair. Somepony had Dared to appear in her royal presence inebriated? Her thoughts actually stopped and she just stood there, her mouth open. Fortunately, Vinyl was happy to talk, no matter how enthusiastically Octavia was trying to shut her up. Midnight was just as shocked as Luna, as he stood next to her. He managed to keep his mouth shut though, being more used to “normal” pony interactions. That and being the guard on night shift, getting up as all the other, usually drunken guards staggered back to barracks.

“Well thishishish a pleasure.” Vinyl managed to get out, Octavia’s hooves trying to keep her mouth shut in the most futile effort since using Spike as Rainbow Dash during the fight with discord. “Sho, wadda ya want?”

Luna broke out the royal Canterlot voice for the first time since nightmare night during the first year of her reformed reign.

“HOW DAREST THOU TO APPEAR BEFORE ME IN SUCH A STATE. DIDN’ST THOU KNOWEST THAT THINE PRESENCE WOULD BE REQUIRED BY ONE OF THE THREE RULERS OF EQUESTRIA? WHY ART THOU DRUNK?”

“Drunk? I’m not drunk. Just a little bit pished.”

“I’m sorry your highness. She just wanted one. I made her promise to make it only one.” Octavia said, trying to mollify the stricken princess.

“AND SO WHAT HAPPENED. IF SHE ONLY TOOK ONE, HOW IS SHE SO INEBRIATED?”

“It was a pint.”

“OF WHAT?”

“Absinthe,” Vinyl answered smugly.

“Oh. Well.” Luna turned to Midnight who, upon hearing the news that somepony was still (sort of) on their hooves after a full pint of absinthe, had finally lost his composure. His jaw dropped open, causing Luna to giggle slightly. “Midnight.”

Midnight’s mouth didn’t close but his face slowly turned towards his princess, eliciting another giggle. He regained control of himself and shook a little at the thought of a whole pint of absinthe.

“I think I went to the right pony for this job.”

“Umm. What job would that be princess?” Octavia asked warily.

“I wish to commission a few night clubs. I thought Miss Scratch here, “ Luna replied, poking the subject of conversation, who giggled and swayed back and forth, “could help me liven the night up.”

Octavia nodded. It seemed like something that could work, but why go to Vinyl? Why not go to her? She voiced these thoughts aloud to the princess. Who smiled.

“Octavia. Your music is beautiful and relaxing, but it attracts the kind of cultured pony that would only make the night more boring.” Octavia’s face fell, the mix of emotions playing across it ranging from pride at the flattery, to disappointment at the decision made. “However.” Octavia’s ears perked up. “I do need someone to keep an eye on Vinyl, and who would be better but her down to earth friend and roommate.”

Octavia looked up so suddenly that her hair caught Vinyl in the face. Vinyl cooed with delight and took a bite of the “black pasta” whirling about her mouth. Octavia smacked her on the head, and Vinyl reacted in kind. Soon a small hoof fight had begun on the balcony between the two friends. Surprisingly enough, despite her state of being almost too drunk to stand, Vinyl appeared to be winning.

Luna and Midnight watched, wincing at well thrown punches, and smiling broadly. Things were getting more interesting after all.

“I place thirty bits on Vinyl,” Midnight said, grinning up at his princess.

“I’m not so stupid as to take that,” Luna replied, a grin forming on her own lips as well. She put a foreleg around her guard’s shoulders, and suddenly dug her hoof into his armpit, tickling him furiously. The grin on his faced turned into a look of surprise, followed by a look that said, in a language more easily understood as words “Oh. It. Is. On.”

Midnight launched himself onto his princess and the two friends/lovers launched into a tickle war, more furious than the raging hoof fight going on a few paces away. The noise was incredible as the drunken swearing of Vinyl was added to by the battle cries of Luna and Midnight. On one side of the balcony that, until that night, had so rarely seen any excitement, the sound of swearing and the thud of hoof meeting face raged. On the other side, a more intimate fight raged between two ponies bonded in boredom. The sounds of war ranged over the city and made it to the bedchambers of Celestia.

Celestia had been enjoying a nice dream about cake and icecream, with a side of Twilight achieving another great feat of learning, when a particularly loud cry from Luna snapped her awake. The angry princess jumped out of bed, eyes flaring and mane changing color to a deep red. The dream had been perfect, so why did Luna have to end it. She stormed down the stair, terrifying butlers and maids out of her way, and reached the bottom of the tower that her sister occupied during the night. Slowly, she started walking up the stairs, the stones of the wall glowed red with heat from the ruler’s anger as she strode by.

She reached the top of the stairs, and her eyes looked at the door, from behind which the horribly loud noises were coming. She focused her red hot anger into a lens and watched as the door instantly turned to ash. All sound from the balcony ceased immediately as the red glow of Celestia’s anger burned out over the four ponies.

Luna and Midnight stopped suddenly as Celestia burned down the door. Even Vinyl and Octavia, in their own pitched battle, stopped instantly, Celestia’s anger having the same effect on Vinyl as a cold shower and seven litres of black coffee. The four ponies lined up before Celestia and bowed, heads hung like naughty children caught stealing cookies. Waiting in silence, the four somber, and in even Vinyl’s case, sober ponies stood, ready to be rebuked.

“WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING?” Celestia screamed at them, her voice taking overtones of magic that caused strange happenings in various parts of the city.

“We just wanted to liven up the night time.” Luna said, her voice apologetic.

“WELL, FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT, YOU ARE ALL INSTRUCTED TO SEARCH FOR ALL OF THE RANDOM THINGS THAT MY FIRST SHOUT DID AND SOLVE THEM.”

“Did you do them on purpose?” Luna asked curiously. All the other ponies arrayed before Celestia looked at her, their faces clearly saying: “What the fuck are you DOING?”

Celestia smiled at her sister and sighed, her blunder caught out almost instantly by her cunning relative. Her mane returned to its normal blend of color and the stones beneath her hooves cooled back to a normal grey.

“No, I did not. It was foolish I suppose, but I was having a very nice dream.” She sighed again. Then looked back up, her expression more strict. “But you do still have to go and solve them. You wanted a more lively night, you have one.” Celestia’s eyes widened as an elephant walked down Mane Street. “A far more lively night,” she muttered.

Hunting the Magical Mistakes

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Luna and her small party of friends walked warily down one of the Canterlot streets, ears pricked and ready for action. She stood in the lead of her small troupe, followed closely by Midnight with Octavia shortly behind him and Vinyl lagging behind. Going from roaring drunk to sober had been one thing, but the raging hangover that had begun shortly afterwards was reducing her ability to cope more than the alcohol had.

“Can we walk a bit slower?” Vinyl whined from the back, flanked by a pair of normal royal guards who were still bleary eyed from lack of sleep. “My head hurts.”

Luna looked back over her shoulder, a cruel grin spread across her face. “Well, you shouldn’t have drunk so much then.”

“It was only a pint”, Vinyl whined again, a pair of sunglasses covering her eyes from the dim glow of the street lamps.

“Yeah, of absinthe”, said Octavia, joining in the fun.

The group was searching for all the effects of Celestia’s magical shout. So far, they had found two elephants, a walking night stand, six talking fish, and one suitcase that had barked at them as they walked past. Luna looked forward and grinned to herself. Perhaps she should make random things happening every night. It was definitely more fun than just standing on the balcony looking out for things that NEVER happened.

A pair of six-foot long bees flew across the street in front of them.

Perhaps the random magic wasn’t such a good idea then. Luna conjured two large butterfly nets out of thin air, magically handing one to Midnight. She stepped out into the street that the bees had flown down and promptly insulted them.

“Your queen eats … umm … wait… no… You look like… nope that won’t work either.” She turned to Midnight. “In my name, Insult those bees!” She said, pointing a hoof down the street at the giant insects that were hovering and looking back at the two ponies. Vinyl and Octavia peered out into the street, squeaked and jumped back.

“At once your highness”, affirmed Midnight, who summoned up all his courage and shouted across the distance. “Your Queen is so fat that when she sits around the house, she REALLY sits around the house.”

The bees regarded the navy blue stallion in confusion, then turned to each other and seemed to shrug.

“Fuck you, you fucking flying nectar baskets!”

The bees stopped, dropping onto their legs and starting to walk menacingly forward.

“Good job Midnight”, Luna said to her courageous guard.

“Thank you, Luna. Do you have a plan for this next part?”

“Umm… no.”

“So, I insulted those very large, angry looking bees, who are getting closer by the way, and you don’t have a plan for how to deal with them.”

“Can you think of a plan?”

“No”, Midnight admitted, readying himself to try and catch the bee in his net BEFORE it stung him.

“Okay, well I just thought of one.”

“Can I hear it?”

“We don’t appear to have time.”

The two oversized bees launched themselves forward, projecting their stings in front of their huge bodies. Luna spun herself to the side like a matador and brought her net down over the bee’s back, slamming it down and pinning it to the ground. Midnight followed suit, his spin was a little more graceful. Luna cast a spell, changing the two bees to their original shapes, a chair and a glass egg that proceeded to break. Pity, it looked expensive. Octavia cheered loudly, running over to celebrate the successful defeat of their rather large adversaries. Vinyl staggered along behind her, wincing at every whoop of exultation.

A Pegasus guard flew down to them from where he had been searching for more strange goings on. Apparently, a green mare and her roommate had been turned into a weird mythological species called humans. Octavia stopped mid cheer.

“Do you mean Lyra?” She asked suddenly, her eyes growing wide.

“Mint green unicorn, teal mane with a white stripe?” described the bemused guard.

“Oh no. Wait up for me guys, I’m going to get a video camera.” She exclaimed, already running towards her hotel. “One of you pegasi can watch me and make sure I come out. Believe me, it won’t be necessary, I wouldn’t miss this for the world.”

Luna stared at Octavia’s retreating back as the pegasus guard flew after her. She looked over at Vinyl who was sitting down, rubbing her head with her hooves and vainly trying to remove her headache.

“What the hell was that about?” She asked the hung over unicorn.

“Ooohh. Lyra always wanted to be human. She used to sit like them while she lived in Ponyville, even in concerts. Have you never noticed?” Said Vinyl, still rubbing her head.

“No, I always sleep in the day, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to watch the night.”

“Well shit. No wonder you wanted those night clubs.”

Midnight looked with consternation at Vinyl. Sure Luna was really laid back and casual, but even so, you just don’t swear at royalty. Luna looked down and laughed at the expression on his face, causing him to blush, which only caused her to laugh harder. Vinyl laid down and tried to cover her head with her hooves. I didn’t work well enough. Luna only laughed harder.

One of the two unicorn guards who had been escorting them walked up and put a somber hand on the princess’ shoulder. She calmed down fairly quickly but still chuckled, hiccupping every now and then.

“Well, I’m back”, Octavia said running up, a camera bouncing on its strap around her neck, the pegasus guard still following behind. She looked from the shocked Midnight, to the hiccupping princess and finally to the moping Vinyl. “What on Equestria did I miss?”

“Nothing much, you lead the way to Lyra’s apartment.”

“Hotel”, the pegasus who had brought them the news reported. “She is only staying in town for a concert and is due to leave tomorrow.

"Right."

The seven set off, Luna, Octavia, Midnight, Vinyl, the two unicorn guards and the pegasus guard. They ran quickly, only stopping to set a few more of Celestia's inconvenient magical changes right, before turning into the street that held Lyra's hotel.

"So what was she doing when you saw her anyway?" Luna asked of the pegasus guard.

The guard blushed a deep DEEP crimson. "You really don't want to know."

"Ah"

The seven opened the door of Lyra's hotel and walked in, going up the stairs and eventually reaching the third floor, the one with Lyra's room. The pegasus guard lead them down the hallway to a room from which numerous banging and whooping noises seemed to be emerging. There were also a few screams of pleasure. Whatever was happening, somepony was enjoying herself. Possibly two by the sounds of it. Octavia raised the camera in her hoof and switched it to video mode.

"Well, lets go", said Luna, taking a deep breath as she pushed the door open...

An Unsettling Sight

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…onto a scene of depravity like none she had seen before. Both Bonbon and Lyra had been turned into humans. Their responses were quite different however. Lyra had clearly ransacked the room, playing with her brand new hands. Things were smashed by the walls, sheets of crumpled paper littered the floor, scratches and pictures all over them. Bonbon was sitting in a corner, hugging her knees and wondering how she was going to pay for all this. Luna stood in the doorway frozen, Lyra’s screams of joy as she picked up a chair with her hands and threw it across the room were piercing and had rendered the stunned princess speechless.

Octavia, however, knew exactly what to do. She bounced up onto Luna’s back, video camera up and recording. Midnight poked his head around the doorframe before ducking back around, hoping that he wouldn’t be needed. Vinyl cringed back from the noisy room, hooves over her ears once more. The three daytime guards, also suffering from massive headaches due to lack of sleep, joined her on the floor, Lyra’s shouts and whoops of joy overpowering even their self-control.

Bonbon looked up and her eyes met Luna’s.

“Oh thank Celestia.”

“What the CHIMMY CHERRY CHANGA FUCK IS GOING ON!” spoke Luna, her voice slowly increasing in volume until the last part emerged as a shout.

“A wave of magic passed through, turning us into humans. What do you expect when a human fetishist is turned into one?”

“That doesn’t explain this.”

“She’s been experimenting”, Bonbon said, gesturing with a hand towards the now beige girl, throwing things around the room.

“Oh, well.”

Lyra suddenly noticed the two ponies in the doorway. A look of realization appeared on her face as her eyes also met Luna’s.

“You’re going to turn me back aren’t you?”

“I will.”

“Please don’t. Please, please please pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease pleasepleaseplease PLEEEEEEAAAAAASSEEEEEEEE.”

“I have to.”

“If you don’t, I will do anything.

“Anything?”

“ANYTHING. JUST PLEASE DON’T TURN ME BACK.”

Luna pretended to think about it, looking at Lyra, who had started making puppy eyes at the princess.

“Mmmmm… no.” Luna said simply. A flash of deep purple magic later, Lyra was sitting on the floor, eyes brimming over in tears, back in the mint green unicorn shape that she so wished to leave behind. She sadly regarded her hooves before letting the tears roll down her face.

“Errr”, said a very nervous looking, still human shaped, Bonbon. Luna and Lyra looked up. Lyra’s mouth dropped open. She turned to look at Luna.

“WHAT THE HELL?” Lyra cried, tears still rolling down her cheeks. “Why didn’t you turn her back too?”

“Oh, you know the old saying. Give power only to those who do not want it.”

Lyra looked at the princess, whose mouth was slowly widening in a grin. Then she looked at Bonbon, sitting in her corner, avoiding Lyra’s gaze.

“That’s it”, Lyra said, stamping a foreleg in a way that looked absolutely adorable, tears still streaming down her face. “Come with me Bonbon. She stomped off into the bathroom, her miserable looking roommate following behind.

Octavia bounced over Luna’s head, landing on the carpet of the room before darting through the bathroom door after Lyra and Bonbon. Luna walked across the threshold and turned to see Vinyl and Midnight follow her in, the three other guards electing to stay outside. Vinyl still looked the worse for wear and Luna decided to take pity on the white mare.

Another purple flash lit the room as Luna rid the poor unicorn of her hangover. Vinyl flicked up her glasses, eyes wide.

“You mean that you could have done that THE WHOLE TIME?” She said incredulously.

“Of course. I may have to watch the night, but I do still know how to party. And how best to deal with the after effects.”

“Why didn’t you do it sooner then?” Vinyl demanded sullenly.

“Oh, you know.”

Vinyl thought about it, replaying her memories of the last two hours from another perspective.

“I suppose I do”, she smiled.

Midnight turned to look at the two of them. He noticed that they appeared to be ignoring the sounds coming from the bathroom. Either way, this was a first, even among Luna’s normal antics to maintain her excitement. She would probably demand a copy of Octavia’s tape, knowing her. He sighed, listening to Luna and Vinyl get down to negotiating for the nightclubs.

Vinyl had started, saying that, as dj, she should get free drinks. Luna retorted, saying that she could have free drinks, as long as they weren’t alcoholic. Vinyl had to retreat on that issue, instead pushing for laser devices to make moving pictures. Both were skilled negotiators, Luna manipulating Vinyl through love of drink, money and music, while Vinyl manipulated Luna through just how much she needed the clubs.

Even so, Midnight managed to keep track, even offering support to Luna, whenever he could back her up on a point. Every time he did this, however, Vinyl shot him a wounded look. They were probably faked, but they wrenched at him anyway. Eventually, they agreed upon three clubs, all shared jointly under both of their names. Vinyl got to choose music for one, Luna for a second, and much to his surprise, Midnight was given the choice for the third. Also, food would be served, and they would be open all night. Vinyl had wanted them to be paid for out of the palace treasury, but Luna had countered, saying that the treasury would be drained within a week.

When they were finally done, the two mares nodded at one another and shook hooves. The sound of bones squeezing together made Midnight wince, but both mares kept their faces blank, ignoring the pain, or just not showing that they felt it. Suddenly, they both turned towards him. The looks on their faces worried him immensely. He turned to bolt for the door, only to see it slam shut with an aura of purple.

He turned back to see the two mares slowly bearing down on him, Vinyl with her tongue out, Luna, grinning in a way that Midnight remembered seeing not too long ago.

Right after a certain somepony had kissed him.

His nervous back-pedaling brought him into contact with the door. He spun around, hooves pawing at the obstruction between him and safety. A purple aura surrounded him and he was caught.

The Next Day...

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The soothing tones of Octavia's music calmed the nerves of Midnight as he lay in the foetal position on the balcony floor. It was well into the morning, but he didn't think he would sleep again. Still trying to forget what had happened last night, he felt his thoughts rest on it again like the tongue probing the hole of a missing tooth. There was a short blur just after Luna slammed the door, followed by flashing images of unspeakable things and sensations of pain, pleasure and terror. His sex starved lunar princess had certainly maintained some secret fetishes over her thousand years of extra-planetary seclusion. Some of the bites were still healing.

Luna sat in the corner, watching her shuddering guard worriedly, wondering if she had gone a little too far. Vinyl had passed out in another corner after setting up Octavia's speakers. Octavia had insisted that she play to sooth not only poor Midnight Guardian's ill feelings, but also those of all of Canterlot, that stemmed from the noise and magical damage of the last night. Luna looked at her guard again. He had thrown up a couple of times and there were still a few pieces of vomit at the corner of his mouth. Luna gently took up a cloth with her magic and carefully wiped it away. Midnight's eyes opened at the touch, settled on the cloth and then squeezed shut as they registered the purple aura. Yes, Luna thought to herself, I have gone too far.

The tears that she had held back ever since Midnight had crawled into his corner suddenly burst loose. Her quiet sobbing softly made it's way across the parapet to her faithful, tortured guard. The love she felt for him subconsciously placed magic into the silent crying and it slowly edged it's way across the distance between Luna and Midnight. Gently, it encased him in a soft purple aura, overflowing his horrified mind with feelings of love and tenderness. Neither of them knew what really happened, but soon, Midnight was looking at Luna, his forelegs around her, comforting her, mirroring the emotions that she had unknowingly sent to him.

She looked up at his face and reached out, carefully stroking one of the bite marks that she had made, even as it healed from the elicit magic of her tears. He smiled a smile full of love and forgiveness. Provided that she never mirror last night's actions EVER again. She couldn't smile. Instead, she buried her face into his chest and cried more loudly. Celestia watched from her own tower, knowing even more than Luna that the bond between those two lovers would now be stronger than ever. She could see the plan forming in their minds as they both turned to the quietly snoring Vinyl. Luna lifted her up with her magic, slowly moving her out over the main parapet. Suddenly, both Luna and Midnight shouted right next to her: "VINYL, WAKE UP". The white unicorn snapped awake, she tried to jump to her hooves and suddenly realized that she was standing on thin air, supported only by Luna's magic. Her scream drowned out even Octavia's music.

Shortly after their prank on Vinyl, Luna and Midnight walked down to the Great Hall for breakfast. Luna cast a spell that would remove the symptoms of sleep deprivation for 24 hours and the two proceeded to eat a full meal. Vinyl shakily followed them with a slightly more alert Octavia on her heels. Luna cast the same spell on the other two and the four ate their meal without getting into any more trouble. Octavia brought her camera and the group watched her movie from the night before. Thankfully, she had run out of storage space watching Lyra and Bonbon before she had seen Luna's depravities. Luna didn't think she could help Midnight out of another traumatized state.

"Well, I think that we know why she likes the idea of hands." Vinyl said around a mouthful of hash browns.

"Yes, I think we do." Replied Luna, her mouth hanging open, displaying some cornflakes.

Luna and Midnight stayed quiet, knowing that hands were something that sheer magical stimulation would top EVERY time. . They were about half way through the video when Cadence walked in. She looked at the wall that the video was being projected onto, then at the four ponies watching the pornography while eating breakfast. The orientation of the couple on film changed and the heads of the four breakfast eaters slowly tilted to the side to follow the video. Cadence realized that her own head was tilting before shaking herself out of her horrified fascination with the weird video.

She watched, her mouth slowly dropping open and her ears perking up as she noticed the pleasure that Lyra was getting from Bonbon’s hands. The depravity of the videa seemed to draw her in and she found herself stepping forward as her tunnel vision focused her in like a lens. Her mouth was open as far as it would go. She tried to snap herself out of her interest, but she was powerless in the face of her own fetishes. She could feel them growing inside her and didn’t even notice that the four ponies eating their breakfast had all started looking at her.

Luna watched Cadence as she kept her eyes locked onto the screen. She grinned and poked Midnight in the ribs. Midnight looked over at Luna and she pointed to Cadence. Midnight grinned as well and shook Vinyl and Octavia. The four of them slowly and quietly got up and arrayed themselves around the stunned Cadence, never breaking her view of the screen. Luna activated her magic, shutting off the video.

Cadence was suddenly struck dumb by the sight of the four ponies standing around her.

Luna stepped forward. “So, I hear you have a human fetish now?”

Cadence couldn’t find her voice, but she used her magic to shift a hole in the small group of ponies around her and ran. Her ears were deaf to the sound of laughter behind her as she burst out into the hallway, straight into the arms of Shining Armor. The only words she said to him before running excitedly to their tower were delivered in a decisive shout.


“BEDROOM. NOW!”

Later That Same Day...

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Midnight once again sat in a corner, hiding from two crazy mares. This time though, it wasn’t because of recent sexual assault, but because he had disappointed both Vinyl and Luna in his choice of nightclub music. The dj was already summoned and the songs for Vinyl’s and Luna’s clubs had been picked out in short order. Then it was his turn.

While Luna had begun by choosing pop songs and slowly made her way to classic rock, Vinyl had listed off almost every single dubstep song from memory. It was scary the way that she could remember them all. Midnight was next to step up to the plate and had tried to satisfy his princess with light rock, but then gradually moved his liking to heavy metal, a step at a time.

Neither of the owners of the three clubs remotely liked metal music and both of them had looked at him with scorn, and a little amusement at the sheepish look on his face. That had been one thing, but then it got worse. He tried to take the metal back and switch back to classic rock, which made both mares angrier. Vinyl was angrier because he was just trying to conform, and Luna was angrier still because he was just trying to please her by degrading himself. In all honesty, it probably made her feel warm and fuzzy inside, but she could never show weakness in front of Vinyl.

Not since last night anyway. The two of them had been dancing around one another like two fencers looking for an opening. Currently, the two were arguing in the hallway outside the room that he had barricaded himself in. Something about how they were going to punish him for being a conforming coward. Lack of sleep always did put a little of Nightmare Moon back into Luna, and it appeared to go doubly for Vinyl. Luna’s spell was supposed to fight off the physical effects, but it didn’t appear to do anything to the mental effects.

Midnight sighed. What was he going to do? He shouldn’t come out while they were acting like that and he wouldn’t know when they stopped acting like that until he came out. The thought hit him like it appeared Luna was planning to, OCTAVIA! He cast his eyes around the room that he was hiding in and he began to form a plan.

Octavia was sitting in one of the night clubs with the dj that Luna had sent for. He was a pleasant enough stallion, not as toned as Midnight, but not as formal. Octavia thought that she was forming a connection with Luna’s guard, but she understood that he was strictly Luna’s. She sighed as she watched the dj setting up the sound equipment that he would need. Vinyl had apparently got her wish about the lasers. A group of engineers were setting them up just beside the stage that she herself was sitting on.

Suddenly, a paper plane flew in through the window. A deep blue aura surrounded it as it flew straight for her. She caught it in her hooves and unfolded it. It was a message from Midnight.

Dear, dear Octavia sweet of him, she thought
I am currently barricaded in the guest rooms in the palace, 4d to be specific. Could you please come talk to me? Luna and Vinyl are yelling about eating my soul so I don’t dare come out. They don’t know that I’m here. They are right outside. Can you suggest to them that they look in the northeast wing please? It would mean so much to me. They are REALLY scary. Thank you very much.

Midnight Guardian
P.S. If you want to reply, write a message on the other side and refold it, it will fly straight back. I would prefer not to talk this way for too long, they might catch on.

Octavia quickly scrawled a message of affirmation on the other side and began galloping towards the castle. Some time alone with Midnight, a dream come true. It was only better that there was something between him and Luna. She could use a break from the normal courtship of the pony elite or the freakish one night stands that Vinyl kept trying to set her up with. Her heart led her all the way to the castle.

Midnight was shivering by the time that he heard a new voice in the hallway. The only thing keeping him from hiding in the bathroom with a bottle of alcohol had been Octavia’s swift reply. It took her longer than he would have liked for her to get there, but Luna and Vinyl’s discussions had been getting darker and darker. He hid his head in his hooves and began rocking slowly back and forth.

Octavia ran into the hallway that held the room that Midnight was hiding in. She assessed the situation and yelled at the two irate mares. “I just saw Midnight in the East wing!”

Luna’s ears pricked up, her mane turning darker and her front teeth extending just slightly.

“Thank you Octavia, I have a few things to discuss with him.” She hissed.

The demons ran off in the direction of the East wing, leaving Octavia alone in the hallway. She eased over to the door of room 4d and knocked quietly.

“Octavia?” came the whispered question.

“Yes.” She whispered back, her hoof pressed to the door.

“Oh thank Celestia. Are they gone?”

“Yes. Can I come in?”

“Oh of course, give me a minute.”

Octavia waited as there came all sorts of shifting sounds from behind the door. The sound of a bed landing on the floor marked an end to that, and the same blue aura that had surrounded the paper plane surrounded the door as many magical enhancements and barriers were removed. The door slowly cracked open to reveal a horrified looking Midnight.

“Please come in quickly, they could be back any moment and I want to get the magical defenses up again at least. They were all that were keeping them from finding me and as soon as they went down, Luna’s spells started to detect me.”

He was babbling, but Octavia got the message. She shot into the room and she watched as the door silently slammed shut. The blue aura surrounded it again as Midnight put his spells up again and then he barricaded the door once again. He looked back at Octavia, a look of relief on his face as he stared at her. For the first few minutes, only two words came out into the open.

The traumatized Midnight Guardian looked thankfully into the eyes of his protector and whispered:

“Thank you.”

A Game of Thrones: Queen of Midnight's Heart

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Octavia and Midnight sat in a corner, not meeting each other’s gaze, just sitting there. The two of them shared in the silence that had prevailed since the barricade had been finished. Octavia met Midnight’s gaze, then looked away, a slight blush forming on her face. The noise of an explosion from the east wing broke the oppressive weight of the silence and suddenly, Octavia found her voice.

“Are you okay?” she asked shyly.

Midnight met her gaze, and they both looked away, the silence returning, filling the air with its awkwardness. One would look up, only to look away again the instant that the other would start to move. Slowly, Octavia mustered the courage to look him in the face again. He still could not meet her gaze, but his eyes stayed in her general vicinity. Octavia had been trained by the high society, and she knew how to keep track of where a stallion was looking. She followed his eyes as they slowly came to rest somewhere over her left shoulder.

A PROPER gentlecolt, and one who had recently been having trouble with his marefriend. She stared at the young, sensible, proper, handsome, wonderful unicorn in front of her. Luna can have Vinyl, MIDNIGHT WILL BE MINE! As she stared deep into his eyes, she understood what he needed on a purely subconscious level. She slowly stood up, walked over to him and sat down beside him, one hoof around his shoulders.

Octavia pulled him close, letting his head drop onto her chest. She felt a dampness there and realized that he was crying onto her. She put her other hoof around his shoulders and slowly began to rock her whole body back and forth, her mouth forming the words of a lullaby that her mother had sung to her when she had cried as a filly.

“Hush, little foal, let yourself rest.

This crying won’t help you, you’re not at your best

So calm yourself first, then let yourself go.

And tell me the problems, you want me to know.”

She sang it a few times, her eyes also tearing up. This perfect stallion, laid so low by the one he loved. She would have to help him. She kept singing, hearing the odd sob and feeling his chest shake arhythmically with them. She began to stroke his mane and looked out of the window. The sun was hanging low over the rooftops of Canterlot, and soon, Luna’s spell against the effects of tiredness would wear off. She may have said twenty four hours, but that was more like a half-life as the magical energy wore off. It would be best to be asleep by then.

Slowly, Midnight’s breathing began to become slow and rhythmical, sleep taking control over his body, letting only a few sobs get through. Octavia smiled down at him, marvelling at how beautiful he was in his sleep. He didn’t snore and his mouth was closed, he barely moved. She laid him down on the floor, and gently slid him over near the wall, and rested his head in her lap. Then she sat there, stroking his mane, watching him as the silent and infrequent sobs slowly began to stop.

Finally, she looked out of the window to see that the sun had fully dropped behind the rooftops of Canterlot. The moon was rising and Octavia was glad. Luna would have to stay at her post throughout the night, with no time to search for her missing guard. Octavia had him all to herself tonight. She gently moved his head aside, sliding herself out from under him.

Getting up, she walked over to find the pillows from the bed, but could only retrieve one from the pile of furniture in front of the door. She puzzled over the problem for a second before coming to the obvious conclusion. One pillow would not do much good, not as much as the body of a pony. She laid down by his head and slowly lifted it up before shuffling herself underneath him. Then she carefully placed his head onto her body and put the pillow under her own head. Gently stroking his mane, she let herself fall into the depths of sleep.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile, on Luna’s balcony-


Vinyl had gone off to get a table and a risk board, leaving Luna on the balcony alone to start the night. It was a pleasant enough evening, but Luna did miss Midnight. His reassuring presence was one of the things that made the long nights almost bearable.

Luna looked at the guard that ‘tia had given her for the evening. He was one of the guards who had kept watch over them while they were hunting ‘tia’s magical effects in the city. She turned back to surveying the rooftops, wondering where Vinyl had got to with that table. She kept her eyes out though. At the very least, she had a lot to think about. Midnight had disappeared after that business with the music. Maybe she and Vinyl had gone a little over board with him about it, but it was his own fault, making a decision, then going back on it just because he thought that they didn’t like it.
He never knew how to keep a mare happy. But that’s just it isn’t it the treacherous thoughts in the back of her mind began. He did keep you happy. It wasn’t what he did, but how he did it that kept you satisfied. And now you have lost him forever. Wait. What was that last part about losing him? She scanned back over Canterlot, keeping the windows in focus more than the rooftops.

THERE! On the fourth floor of the western wing of the palace, where Octavia had pointed them in the direction of the eastern wing. At the opposite wall of the room, Octavia lay, curled up with Midnight’s head on her chest, HER HOOF RESTING ON HIS NECK! Luna used her magic to create a game board in her room, but not one that anypony, or being of any kind for that matter had ever seen, but had all used at one time or another. She moved a piece to represent Octavia’s sally in the war for Midnight.



Alright Miss Octavia. Let the games begin!

Time For Some Fun

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Midnight awoke suddenly, a nightmare shaking him from his sleep. He was covered in cold sweat and to add to that, he was freezing. He slowly assessed his surroundings. Darkness, that means that it is still night time. Looks like 1:00 am. Ok, there is the barricade, the door is still glowing and shut, so why is it so cold in here? Slowly, his head turned to look at the window. It was open, but maybe it had been the whole time. He hadn't paid attention to it as he'd hidden and there had never really been time to notice it. First Luna and Vinyl, then crying onto-

Even more slowly, his eyes turned down, looking at the grey earth pony curled around his seated form. Octavia shivered, and curled up even more. Midnight smiled calmly down at her. She had helped him, even when she didn't have to. He had to be grateful. Carefully, he untangled his rear legs from hers and walked to the pile of furniture in front of the door. Lifting up the vast majority of it, he found the mattress from the bed and brought it over to Octavia's sleeping shape. He also liberated the rest of the bedding while he was at it.

Carefully, so as not to make a sound, he placed the mattress down next to her, then lifted her up and placed her upon it. He laid the blankets from the bed over top of her, and slowly shifted a pillow under her head. Quietly, he cast a spell. Now she would sleep, undisturbed by nightmares, but still open to pleasant dreams until he came back, and then some. Then he cast a shield over her, to protect her in case Luna happened to show up. Next, he removed the barricade and spells and slipped out the door, gently replacing them behind him.

Midnight made his way down to the kitchens. There, he found himself some ingredients, a small pan and a stove. Quietly, he began carrying them back up through the palace. About halfway, he looked up to see a shadow flying overhead. LUNA! He placed the stove on the ground, put a sack of flour on his head, surreptitiously brushing his coat down with it to change it's colour to a lighter shade of blue. Hiding his horn in his makeshift flour hat, he turned on the stove and was pretending to cook waffles when Luna came in to land, a little too close behind him.

Luna looked down at the chef pony directly in front of her. It was obviously Midnight, but she wasn't about to let him know that she saw through his actually rather impressive disguise. His only problem was that he was using magic instinctively to handle several of the tasks of waffle making at once. Other than that, he could have passed for a sky blue earth pony. She decided to have some fun with him, in the royal Canterlot voice.

"SERVANT, WILT THOU GIVE US SOME OF THINE WAFFLES?"

She was impressed at Midnight's act as he stammered in a quavering voice, that sounded nothing like his own voice, or even that of a stallion for that matter. He actually sounded like a nervous mare. It was cute.

"Look Midnight, I know it's you. I just want to know why you think that I would be fooled by you disguising yourself as a FEMALE EARTH PONY TRYING TO COOK WAFFLES IN THE CORRIDORS."

Midnight was suddenly gone. It wasn't translocation, teleportation or even invisibility. Luna swore to herself that he picked up all of the things (that he had carried by magic this far) IN HIS FORELEGS and ran down the corridor faster than that Rainbow Dash Pegasus could fly. The flour that had coated him slowly settled, after retaining it's shape for seven whole seconds. Luna smiled and flew back to her balcony. She did wonder what he had needed all that stuff for, but
that was nothing that a little friendly torture could-

She looked into her private room at the game board that represented her battle with Octavia. She had cast a magical enchantment that would move the pieces to update her on the progress of the game whenever she looked at it. Slowly, three of her pieces moved into worse positions and one disappeared altogether. Running some simulations in her head, she decided that anymore moves made that night would have a similar effect. Swearing silently to herself, she watched as Midnight barricaded the room again and prepared the waffle batter.

Midnight quietly mixed up the batter and checked on Octavia at the same time. The royal guard unicorn training taught one how to separate parts of the mind and task different parts with different things. He carefully rechecked the spell that kept Octavia in a perfect sleep and then set another timer to wake himself up at 8:00. It was 1:30 now. He finished preparing the waffle batter and left it on the cool floor. Next, he laid a metal grille into the pan that he brought and set it down. All was prepared.

He slowly made his way to the mattress on the floor and changed the spell so that Octavia would wake up completely naturally at 8:15 am. He slid into the cover's beside her and kissed her softly on the cheek, a gesture that penetrated into her dreams. She blushed a little in her sleep, and managed to return it, gently pecking his cheek with her lips. He recoiled a little, blushing furiously, but then settled down again. He rested a hoof across her shoulders and drew her close. His run through the palace had warmed him, but she was still very cold. He fell asleep with her in his arms.

Luna finished another sweep with her red pieces, knocking Vinyl out of Africolt. She controlled both North and South Americorn and was preparing a force to march on Central Equestria. Luna passed Vinyl the dice and made a quick check of the rooftops, just in time to watch Midnight kiss Octavia's cheek. Luna swore to herself once more and walked back to the table, checking on her "game" board as she walked. Octavia's pieces were moving again. Even in her SLEEP she was winning.

Luna forced a grin as she walked back over to the table and sat down. Vinyl began her turn by revealing three cards. An earth pony, a Pegasus and a unicorn. Luna's face went completely flat as Vinyl placed the ten extra ponies on the board, as well has her normal reinforcements. Vinyl began to declare attacks. Her first one was into Saddle Arabia from Afghanistallion, an easy victory as Luna only had one pony there. Her second was into Luna's biggest force on equal terms. From Saddle Arabia, a swarm of blue ponies seemed to be flowing. Luna set her jaw, she would not lose this battle, the defense gave her the advantage. Slowly, she watched as her East Africolt forces were soundly destroyed, Vinyl's blue pieces barely reduced in numbers. Luna took another look at the risk board after the battle and let her head smack onto the table. She heard a cracking sound and swore for a few seconds.

"What is it?" Vinyl asked, her voice radiating concern.

"I GOT MY FUCKING HORN STUCK IN THE TABLE!" Luna 'calmly' replied.

The Beautiful Morning...

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8:15 am…

Midnight’s head shot off of his pillow as a MASSIVE screeching sound filled his head. Not exactly what he’d had in mind when he cast the spell, but it would do. He hopped up off of the bed and set about with his waffle batter. He would have to have the waffles ready for when Octavia woke up. He checked around again, making sure everything was just right. Suddenly, it hit him like two tons of delicious bricks. No plates, no maple syrup, no knives, no forks. He just brushed the barricade aside, using magic to dull the noise and then sprinted through the newly opened door, slid between Luna’s front hooves and dashed off. He had to cross the palace, find plates and cutlery, maple syrup and get back in under 3.234246 minutes before preparing the waffles right as Octavia woke up.

His head swirled with calculations just as he entered the kitchen 4 seconds ahead of schedule. He grabbed the plates from a cupboard as a draw shot open, evicting two knives and forks. Finally, he opened the fridge, snatched up the maple syrup and dashed back through the still open kitchen door, did a front flip over Luna and sprinted around the corner, sidestepping Luna again as she teleported in front of him and slid between another Luna’s legs. He was slowing down, the repeated attempts of the princess… wait… oh shit.

He thought on the run and mentally slapped himself for not thinking with his brain. He skidded around a corner, dodging a Luna swipe and into another room, shutting the door behind himself with one hoof, teleporting himself to the room that he had hidden in with Octavia. He landed and cast a spell preventing teleportation on that floor, magic usage in the room (apart from his own magic) and blocked the window magically before sliding the barricade back in front of the door. His mental timer went off. He had made it back just in time.

8:30 am…

Octavia’s eyes fluttered open as she awoke from an incredible dream where she and midnight were having a beautiful candle lit dinner. Suddenly the smells of the food shifted to the smells of waffles. She looked down and her food was replaced with the most beautiful waffles ever imagined. Then she sat up, eyes open, a craving for waffles in her rumbling stomach. A plate was set down in front of her at the same instant as she opened her mouth.

They looked and smelled delicious. She looked up into Midnight’s eyes. He had done this for her, probably risking himself to Luna’s wrath just to get these for her. Slowly, her eyes shifted around the room as she heard some more sizzling. She stifled a laugh, realizing that he had brought the stove and probably all of the ingredients from the kitchens. Wondering when he managed to do that, she slowly picked up a piece of the waffle, silently noting the maple syrup and put it into her mouth.

It tasted AMAZING, and even better because it was Midnight who had cooked it for her. She cut another piece off, silent joy spreading a smile across her face. Swallowing, she reached up with her hooves, cradling Midnight’s face in them and slowly brought her lips to his. The kiss lasted for only ten seconds, but it was the perfect side dish to her waffle. She let Midnight pull away and looked him in the eyes. He looked a little surprised, but not unhappy. He seemed confused.

A knock on the window jerked the two of them apart. A VERY pissed off Luna was knocking on it gently. The expression on her face was reminiscent of a hellhound crossed with somepony that was very angry. It took all of Midnight’s self-control to keep his hooves locked in place. Slowly, he walked over to the stove, took his own waffle out of his “custom made” waffle iron, and put it on a plate. He picked the plate up, put the other knife and fork on it and walked to the window. He teleported the plate and cutlery outside. Luna took the plate and looked at the waffle. Slowly, she raised a forkful to her lips and slid it into her mouth.

The effect was magic. Her wings straightened instantly and she dropped like a stone. Midnight and Octavia rushed forwards standing on their rear hooves to see as far down as they could. They could see a small hole in the canopy of the royal gardens jungle area. They looked at each over and down again. Turning around, Octavia walked over to her waffle and picked it up. She walked to Midnight, took a piece of waffle up with her fork and carefully slipped it into his mouth. Midnight had looked at her quizzically while she had done this, but his eyes suddenly opened wide as he tasted his own creation.

He looked up at Octavia, realizing that words would not be enough to describe the moment. He swallowed and brought his hooves up to Octavia’s face, drawing him closer to her. They kissed again, a lasting one. It was a perfect moment. Suddenly, Luna burst through the wall, the window being magically blocked. She looked terrible, but happy. Her hair was in complete disarray and she was covered in a myriad of scratches. She looked rather like… something that there was no slimily for.

She walked forwards and hugged the VERY surprised looking Midnight. She pulled him close into a tight hug.

“That was amazing. Not only have I forgiven you, but I wish for you to become my official stallion lover.”
Midnight was lost. He just couldn’t fathom the change in his princess.

“Bu- bu- but…what? How could I? What?” He stammered.

“NO! I LOVE HIM! HOW COULD YOU HAVE HIM AFTER ALL YOU DID TO HIM?” Shouted Octavia, screaming into Luna’s face.

“Oh, I can have him. He was mine long before he met you.”

“But now he isn’t. I know what a stallion wants and needs. AND HE DOESN’T NEED YOU!”

“YES HE DOES. I TAUGHT HIM TO LOOSEN UP! I TAUGHT HIM MAGIC! HE IS MY PERSONAL GUARD!”

“YOU HAVE VINYL NOW! CELESTIA KNOWS THAT YOU TWO HAVE ENOUGH PENT UP SEXUAL TENSION BETWEEN YOU!”

“WHAT? ME AND VINYL? HOW COULD YOU EVEN THINK THAT? I AM NOT A LESBIAN!”

“I DON’T CARE! MIDNIGHT WILL BE MINE! I LOVE HIM!” Octavia shouted, pulling Midnight closer to her. “AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!”

“IS THAT A CHALLENGE?”

“YES. Yes it is.”

“Very well then.”

With that, both mares spat on their hooves and held them out, Octavia not letting Luna anywhere near Midnight.
Luna set a part of her mind to look at the game board, seeing both sets of pieces clashing in a myriad of different ways. Luna had his loyalty, but Octavia was taking his friendship, love and even his trust away from her. He even associated her in his mind to SAFETY AND LOVE. Luna realized that she was evidently losing. Slowly, she withdrew that part of herself and looked at the other two in the room.

“I expect to see you on the balcony this evening. For now, I must go to my chambers. Octavia, while I would prefer you to remain apart from him while he is on duty, I will not bar you from the balcony. I will likely see you both this evening. Good day.”

And with that parting shot at Octavia, she flew through the hole in the wall and to her bedroom where she surveyed the game board and prepared a strategy. It seemed obvious to her that this would be the greatest challenge of her life, and even then, she still might lose…

The Guardroom...

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It was evening. Unlike his usual schedule, Midnight was eating dinner in the guardroom with the other royal guards. They were usually pleasant to him, pitying his permanent night duty. More often than not, his infrequent visits caused people to pat him on the back and the more experienced guards to give him advice. The usual topic of discussion was mares whenever he walked in and Midnight suspected that the rest of the palace guard were worried about him not having a marefriend. Today was different.

Midnight walked into the guardroom to the sound of cheers and hoofstamping. He was sat down at a table where a large spread of food was awaiting him. Looking up, Midnight saw a banner proclaiming “Congratulations on the pair of mares!” He looked and saw the multitude of guards around him. It was almost every off duty guard in Canterlot and the room was packed from wall to wall. He sat dumbfounded for a minute before smiling, standing up on his chair and bowing jokingly for a moment to the roars and laughter of the assembled guards.

Sitting back down, the multitude around him following his example, he began to eat. It was touching that they had done all of this for him. He was nothing special, but the whole regiment had come to celebrate his finally getting a marefriend. One by one, all the guards walked up to him and patted him on the back, congratulating him, for not only having landed a princess, but also the best musician in Equestria. It was a big day for all of those who thought that he might not get a mare at all.

Suddenly, there was a quiet knock on the door. A nearby guard opened it to reveal Octavia, standing there with a gentle smile. A wave of quiet passed through the room, each stallion nudging the ones near him and shushing him into silence. Midnight noticed and turned to the door to see Octavia standing there. Smiling, he stood up.

“Are you ready for work?” asked Octavia, the love she felt for him plain in her voice.

“I’m ready, shall we go?” replied Midnight, getting up from his chair and walking over to her.

“Yes” said Octavia, smiling lovingly up at him.

Midnight crossed the threshold and kissed Octavia, who returned it. An enthusiastic cheer rushed through the guards in the room behind them. Midnight pulled away from Octavia and smiled. Her answering smile had a reddish tint as she blushed. The two then began to walk towards the balcony, walking weirdly, as they both had one foreleg around the other’s shoulders.

Luna looked at the couple as they arrived on the balcony five minutes early. In the privacy of her head, she swore lavishly. In the real world she said: “Well done Octavia, you managed to drag him away from the party. I hope it wasn’t too inconvenient for you.”

Octavia replied meekly. “Oh no problem at all for someone that you love.”

Her head filling with swear words again, Luna tried to counter Octavia’s excellent parry.

“Good, well I do hope that you can stay, I’m sure that Vinyl here would love your company.” She said, extending her hoof to the balcony railing where Vinyl was busily throwing up on the rooftops below.

“I don’t believe so. We have very different tastes in music. Your tastes are far closer to hers. Perhaps you could lend her a hoof with her other problems as well. I was never particularly good at those kinds of things.”

Luna looked at her adversary, considering surrendering on the spot. Octavia was perfect. She countered every single one of the advances that Luna had made effortlessly. She was brilliant. Luna was not going to give up so easily though. Instead she gave ground on this front and directed her attention on Midnight, who was congratulating Octavia on her clear victory. Luna began to accept her defeat. What could she do? She walked up to Midnight and sighed. She sat down in front of him and looked into his eyes. She saw her world come crashing down.

Tears welled up in her eyes and her vision began to blur. Her life was over. How could it not be? The only stallion that she had loved had been repelled by her own foolishness. The tears began to run down her cheeks and drip onto the ground. The confused look on Midnight’s face turned to one of horror and he rushed forwards, his forelegs wrapping around his princess. He was careful not to make it seem like an embrace of love. He didn’t want to lose Octavia, but Luna was so sad, her tears wrenched at his heart and he looked into her face. Luna looked confused and vulnerable, surprise at his sudden hug prevalent in her eyes.

She brought one foreleg down and returned his embrace. All too suddenly from Luna’s perspective, Midnight broke off the hug and stood between the two rivals of his affection. In a voice that was magically altered to provoke obedience, he spoke.

“Why do you have to fight over me? Why can’t you both have me? Wouldn’t it be better if we were all friends as opposed to enemies? Please just let this have a chance.”

Luna and Octavia looked at one another, bicuriousity reflected in their eyes in a way that Midnight found extremely disturbing.

Grinning mischievously, they both looked at one another and then back at Midnight. “Yes, I think we can handle that,” said Luna.

“Ohh yes,” said Octavia. “That would be fine by me as well.”
It immediately became certain to Midnight that he was the only one who was not wearing the pants in this relationship.

“Umm… on second thought, could we please go back to you two fighting over me. I think I would be a little bit more secure with that.”

“I don’t think that that would be a good idea,” said Luna and Octavia together, “Not until we have done some experimentation at least..."

THIS IS NOT PART OF THE STORY! Remember that when reading...

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Barack Obama walked into the oval office, head in his hooves. A FUCKING PONY. HE HAD JUST BEEN TURNED INTO A FUCKING PONY! He sat down unnaturally in a swivel chair and it span around dropping him to the floor. Swearing, he got to his hooves, pulled out a gun and walked through the door out onto a street. Martin Luther King Junior was swaggering down the street swinging in tune with the song "Just can't wait to be king" with slightly different lyrics.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywjX6AF6oVc

I juuuuuuust caaan't wait to be freeeeeeeeeee!

Obama looked up, murder in his eyes. He always hated the Lion King because he had gotten his leg bitten off precisely sixteen seconds in the future by a Lion that "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!" he screamed as a Lion burst from a second story window and ripped his leg off. Obama shot the lion in the face and picked his nose with the smoking gun barrel, burning his nose in the process. Irrationally blaming the Bee Jees, he sat down on Nathan Fillion and rode his new bicycle into a shoe shop where he had a nice dinner comprising of six avocados and eleven pounds of underwear. Suddenly, he exploded and went to heaven for being good until the last ten minutes of his life. Saint Peter looked at him, dropped his trumpet on his toe and threw a beanbag at Obama. Obama caught it in his eyebrows, proving that he was the one true saviour of the universe. Seven and a half aliens from the planet SOdOff kidnapped him and ate him to absorb his interior design capability. After being excreted, he reformed into his pony shape, except with one leg missing and hobbled around the stratosphere, eating chocolates. Squatting over a pigeon as pre-emptive revenge for all the shit that would eventually be dropped on the statues of him, he realized that he couldn't fly and tumbled to Earth in a ball of fire, mushrooms, scales, fish and the occasional turnip that kept thinking walalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala in a dodgy Scottish accent. Seventeen and a half fish fell onto the moon and I'm done for tonight

Poor, poor Midnight, whatcha gonna do?

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Midnight dropped to the floor and curled up into the foetal position. His past three days seemed to be a roller coaster. He would go from happy to being manipulated or terrified by random mares in just a few minutes. He felt like he was losing control of his life to the two mares who, up until so recently had been fighting over him. His eyes began to tear up and he hugged himself with his forelegs.

Octavia and Luna walked over to Midnight and looked down at him. Tears were slowly welling up in his eyes. Octavia leaned over and whispered into Luna's ear.

"Do you think that we went a little bit too far?"

Luna just nodded, then both turned back to look down at him. Sitting down, the two mares curled their bodies around Midnights prone form. They both started to sing gently, a lullaby laced with Luna's magic and Octavia's crooning love filled Midnight's ears causing his ears to perk up and twitch. Slowly, he unclenched and sat up. Looking around warily, he got to his feet between the two mares. He looked from one to the other, and slowly, they stopped singing.

He didn't see the hug coming. One second there were two beautiful mares singing on either side of him, the next, they were on top of him, forelegs holding him tight. Midnight was surprised, but pleasantly so. He returned the hug, eyes welling up in tears of joy and relief. Luna and Octavia's eyes were brimming as well. Suddenly, the three of them were crying on the balcony. Tears of shame over what had happened over the past few days, mixed with tears of joy that it was finally all over.

Vinyl just looked at them from the relatively new board game table. She sighed.

"If you are quite done there, can we please just play a damned game? I don't want to listen to this all night."

Slowly, the other three calmed down, hugs and kisses flowing freely from each to the others, Vinyl pretending to gag on the sidelines. They got to their feet and walked over to the table, carefully turning their thoughts to the task at hand.

"Okay", said Midnight, "we only have risk up here and I don't particularly feel like fighting amongst ourselves tonight." He looked at the other three faces. As ponies had never experienced true war, they held the same romantic fascination with it that humanity so recently had until the early 1900's.

"Well, we can do it later, but for now, lets play something peaceful, and not break the friendship that we all have right now." finished Midnight.

"Friends with benefits I hope", whispered Luna to Octavia, who blushed deeply. Everyone could see that she wanted it, except for Midnight.

"So what do you suggest?" added Luna in a more normal voice.

"I was thinking monopoly." replied Midnight.

"But that takes so loooooong", moaned Vinyl, "are you sure that we have time?"

The others just looked at her.

"We have all night", said Octavia, her voice full to the brim of exasperation.

"I know, but its monopoly", rebutted Vinyl, letting a little bit of a whine into her voice.

"Okay, how about this", placated Midnight. "We can turn it into a drinking game."

Luna, Octavia and Vinyl stared at him, looks of surprise covering their faces. Vinyl's expression slowly transformed into a broad grin.

"I think that sounds like a wonderful idea." she said..

"Actually," pondered Octavia out loud, "I think that it could be fun."

Luna and Vinyl stared at her incredulously.

"Are you just trying to get Midnight on your sid-" began Luna before Midnight cut her off.

"No being over protective. Either of you," he exclaimed, a note of panic in his voice. Luna and Octavia both picked up on it and looked chagrinned.

"Sorry Midnight," said Luna, head down.

"I really did think that it could be fun," said Octavia, her head down a little less, but then she sighed, "but I was mostly just agreeing with you." Her head drooped to Luna's level.

Midnight got up and slowly rounded the table, he took Luna and Octavia aside and hugged them both around the shoulders with a foreleg each, before kissing them both on the forehead. They looked up at him and slowly their chagrin was replaced by small smiles of love. Midnight smiled down at them, kissed them both again and took them back to the table without having to say a word. Smiling gently, he began to outline the rules of the drinking game.

"Okay, here is how we will do it. When you pay out money to anyone, you have to take a shot, by medical cc measurements of alcohol mixed with something else to fill out the shot. You pay out sixty dollars, you take sixty ccs of vodka plus whatever, and so on. Got it?" The others all nodded. "If you go to jail then you take a straight vodka shot each turn that you are stuck in." The others nodded again. "When you have to pay someone else rent, you have to kiss them. Minimum 1 second for each hundred dollars rounded up." Vinyl looked surprised but Luna and Octavia both smiled.

"Okay, lets do it." proclaimed Luna.

"Yes, lets." said Octavia.

"O...kay?" said Vinyl, a little nervously.

Midnight ran to get the game and refused to let either Luna or Octavia go with him. Instead, Vinyl joined him. Luna and Octavia sat on the balcony awkwardly, a silence hanging over their heads.

"So, umm, how was your day?" asked Luna pleasantly.

"Do you really think that this will work?" asked Octavia.

Luna looked at her.

"By this, do you mean me making small talk or us sharing Midnight?"

"Us sharing Midnight."

"Well, as long as we both try to be bicurious..." Luna began, carefully watching Octavia's face. Octavia began blushing furiously.

"I suppose." was all that Octavia could really say to that.

"What's the big deal, everyone in Equestria thinks that you were with Vinyl for years," said Luna, jovially. Octavia just blushed harder.

"Yeah but, that was just casual. What we would be doing is a lot more serious."

"Look, I have never been a lesbian or even bicurious. If I can do it for him, so can you." consoled Luna, a slight grin on her face.

"So, let me get this straight. Out of love for a stallion, you will become bicurious?"

"When you put it like that..." They burst out laughing.

"I think that we can manage it." said Octavia, calming down to occasional giggles.

"For Midnight." confirmed Luna.

"Yes, for Midnight." said Octavia, walking forwards and hugging Luna.

At precisely that instant, Vinyl and Midnight opened the door.

Drunken PARTY (Pinkie Pie not included)

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Vinyl, Midnight, Luna and Octavia staggered up the stairs to the balcony, cases upon cases of alcohol strapped onto their backs. Luna was at the front, so she used her magic to open the door onto the balcony. Slowly, they made their way over to the board game table and set their cases down next to it.

"So, we are all clear on the rules?" asked Luna, panting slightly.

"Can we use millilitres instead of ccs?" asked Vinyl, who didn't know how much a cc was.

Luna looked at her, then to Midnight, who shrugged.

"Fine." They all sat down at the table and opened the monopoly box. Midnight opened the rulebook and sorted out the money, ensuring that each pony had their 1500B (Bits) to start with. Luna scooped up the board and spread it onto the table as Vinyl picked out and shuffled the "chance" and "community chest cards". Octavia, who wasn't a unicorn and whose hooves were not as dextrous as the other's magic, picked up and began carefully sorting the houses and hotels. Midnight opened his box and pulled out the glasses, ensuring that they had enough. Each glass could hold 50 ml of alcohol comfortably, meaning that a trip to the boardwalk would give you 8 shots. It would also win you some long kisses.

As the various objects floated down to join the hotels and houses on the table, Midnight set the bank in front of himself and took the silver thimble piece from the box. He looked at it, remembered that he was a unicorn and created a new piece out of thin air. It was a smaller version of him, standing on some rocks, his front left hoof curled under his chest. Luna looked at it and created her own piece, a perfect miniature of the moon that hovered a centimeter above the board. Vinyl created a turntable, setting that on the board next to the moon and the statue of Midnight. All of the unicorns looked at Octavia.

She looked at midnight, lent over and whispered in his ear. He nodded and created a figure of Octavia, playing her cello. He passed it to Octavia, who set it onto the board. Octavia smiled lovingly at him. Midnight grinned back and his horn glowed as he once again used his magic. He carefully lifted Octavia's piece and animated it, playing one of Octavia's own concertos. Squealing, she launched herself around the table at him, nuzzling her cheek under his chin. Luna smiled, knowing that Midnight had deserved the hug and knowing even more certainly that she would have done exactly the same thing in either of their hooves.

"Can we get started already?" asked Vinyl, excited to be drinking.

"Sure," said Midnight, stroking Octavia's mane, then gently sending her back to her seat. She complied, but only because she knew that one way or another, the sooner they got started, the sooner she could kiss him. Midnight picked up the dice, rolling them, then passing them on.

"I got an 8. Try to beat that," he said, passing the dice clockwise to Octavia, who rolled a 9.

Luna rolled a 5 and Vinyl, directly to Midnight's right rolled 11.

"I get to go first," exclaimed Vinyl, grabbing a shot glass before rerolling the dice. She rolled again and got an 8. She moved her piece, landing it on Vermont Avenue, cost 100B. Flipping the 100B bill over to Midnight, she took a bottle of marshmallow vodka from her box and set it on the table. It was gently removed by a purple aura as Midnight took it and put it aside. Vinyl Looked at him, a confused and angry expression on her face.

"Start off light. We will get to the heavier stuff later," he consoled her.

"Fine," huffed Vinyl, pulling out a bottle of crème de menthe. Midnight sighed, but allowed it to happen. He measured out two shots and put them down in front of Vinyl. They were gone unbelievably quickly. Midnight missed it as he was putting the bottle down. Octavia and Luna had similar looks of surprise on their faces. Sighing again at Vinyl's depravity, Midnight picked up the dice and rolled, the two dice coming down a 7. His piece strode across the table on its own, rocks sliding up from the smooth game board to meet it's feet. The other three leaned in closer to look. Vinyl rubbed her eyes and looked suspiciously at the bottle of mint liquor.

"It always was my specialty, working with figures," said Midnight dismissively. The others looked to his cutie mark of a sword. Following their gazes, he said: "But no one ever bested me on the practice field. It's the fine attention to detail. I can flick the blade in ways that are virtually impossible to counter." The three mares, simply looked up into his cool gaze as he drew a chance card.

"Get out of jail free," read Midnight, and slid it under his part of the game board. He smiled and passed the dice to Octavia. "Your turn."

Octavia took the dice in her hooves and sent them bouncing across the board. They came up a three. Octavia passed Midnight three 20B bills and pushed two shot glasses towards Midnight for him to fill. He filled the first and then filled the other one up 1/5th of the way and slid them back. Octavia took the shots and passed the dice. Luna took them up and shook.

And so, an hour passed. Short kisses between the ponies happened after the first few travels around the board. Vinyl quickly bartered for the entire cyan group and then the yellow group. Octavia scooped up the remaining purple property naturally on her next go around, but also ended up with the green group. Midnight landed on the Boardwalk on his first travel around the board, and managed to get Park Place from Luna with a particularly lengthy kiss. Luna herself took the red properties. The orange and purple properties were both held by multiple ponies, preventing any houses from being built, but Octavia was already bargaining a long kiss out of Midnight for St James place, the only orange property remaining out of her grasp. Vinyl had placed hotels on all of her properties as soon as she could, getting drunk at a remarkable speed. She hiccupped into a kiss with Midnight as he landed on Marvin's Gardens.

The game descended into pure drinking not long after that. Pure drinking and random kissing. Seemingly random anyway. The dice weren't rolled much after the hour and a half mark. Eventually, some bleary eyed guards got up and took the board away from them, before going back to bed. They put the box away on the way down, abandoning the raucous drunks up on the balcony.

Midnight was lying across Luna's and Octavia's laps as they took shots from on his stomach when he saw Octavia's head drop. He sat up quickly, dislodging a giggling Luna and the various glasses still arrayed over his chest. He was fully upright as Octavia collapsed, and he suddenly became as sober as a pint of coffee and a cold shower could have made him. He stopped cold. Diving forwards, he placed his hoof beside her neck, feeling for a pulse. It was there, but faint. Lifting her up with his magic, he ran through the mess on the floor towards the door of the balcony. Slamming it open with his body before gently passing Octavia through. Luna looked after him, still giggling.

Running through the dark corridors to the infirmary, Midnight tried to make sure that Octavia's ride was a smooth one. He dampened the inertia of his sudden changes in direction at each corridor and held her away from walls that he skidded into. He reached the infirmary in record time, opening the door quickly and bringing Octavia through. Carefully, he put her on one of the beds as the nurse hurried up.

"What's the problem?" she asked quickly, almost snapping out the question.

"Alcohol poisoning I think," replied Midnight, panting after his long run.

"Fuck, I hate treating that. How did she get it, where did she get it and how much did she have?" the nurse snapped.

"A game of drinking monopoly, Luna's balcony, I have no Idea. Probably 20 shots."

The nurse stared at him.

"Are you suffering from it too?" she asked, an angry expression coming across her face.

"No. I'm Midnight, Luna's personal guard. We were playing a monopoly drinking game. Later it turned into just drinking. The mare on that bed is my marefriend." He didn't think it wise to mention that Luna was in on a threesome. That would cause more problems. "Just save her!" he pleaded.

The nurse's expression changed to one of minor panic. The marefriend of Princess Luna's personal guard. And probably a personal friend to Princess Luna herself. She turned and hurried to get the necessary supplies. As she returned, she found Midnight sitting next to Octavia, head down. He looked up as the nurse came back in.

"What can I do?" he asked, desperate to help Octavia.

"Lie down on that bed there and sleep." the nurse told him.

"How will that help?" Midnight said, slowly getting up.

"When I am through getting her medicine sorted out and the machines hooked up, you can keep an eye on her. I want you rested for it."

"Yes Ma'am," said Midnight walking over to the bed and lying down.

He put his head on the cover, trying to calm down enough to let himself sleep. Twenty minutes later, he cast a spell, forcing himself to rest...

Consequences

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Two hour after he went to sleep, the nurse gently shook Midnight awake. She had a pot of coffee in her hoof and a smile on her face. As Midnight's eyes opened and his vision started to clear from the blur of minimal sleep, he sniffed, smiling at the beverage in the nurse's hoof. She proffered the mug as he sat up on the bed and he took it gratefully. Sipping from the hot coffee, he asked her," Is Octavia okay?"

"She will be fine, barring any allergic reactions to the medication. That's why you need to be awake and watching her. The coffee machine is over there," the nurse gestured with a foreleg, " I trust you to moderate yourself, but have another mug every couple of hours. If she has a reaction, Give her a shot of epinephrine, followed by some anti-histamines. They are on that counter there." She gestured towards a counter near to the bed with Octavia lying on it. "Remember, epinephrine first then anti-histamines. Then come and wake me up."

"Ok" replied Midnight, accepting the barrage of information.

"She will probably wake up after an hour or three. I highly discourage any energetic activities when she does. Don't stress her out too much. I'm going to sleep now. Wake me up if anyone else comes in."

"Ok" said Midnight again. He watched the nurse disappear into an office off to the side. Turning around, he walked over to the bed beside Octavia and pushed it over to her. He sat down on it and began to gently brush her cheek. Thinking about the evening, he began to believe that this was his fault. He had decided to play drinking game monopoly. He swore under his breath. Silently berating himself, he sat there, waiting.

It was two and a half hours before Octavia's eyes began to flicker. Midnight had just returned from getting himself a coffee and instantly noticed the shifting in her face. He resumed his stroking as her eyes opened. The first thing that she saw was a concerned and sorry looking Midnight leaning over her.

"Hey", she said weakly, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Hey", Midnight replied, sadness filling his voice.

"What's wrong Midnight?" Octavia asked, instantly picking up on his tone.

"I'm sorry. Its all my fault that you're here." he said, tears slowly coming to his eyes.

"No it isn't. I let myself go too much. I should have stayed more reserved. You didn't make me do anything," she said, trying to sooth him.

"Of course it is," he said, a sad smile beginning to form on his face below the tears.

Octavia reached up with her hooves and cupped Midnight's face.

"No, it really isn't Midnight. I chose to do the drinking. You just saved me when I got out of hand." Octavia said, slowly bringing his face down to meet hers on the pillow.

Midnight sighed as the kiss took control of him with a magic deeper than that of a unicorn or even an alicorn. He felt himself warm up inside. Without realizing, he had closed his eyes. He opened them and saw Octavia. The same expression of bliss covering her face as had covered his. He didn't break it, he let the two of them keep going, feeling the magic flow between them. Their tongues slid out gently and into each other's mouths Midnight reached down with one hoof, moving aside the bed clothes to reveal Octavia's form. He shifted his hoof to-

"Hey Midnight." Octavia's voice called to him from the next bed. He jerked awake, trying to hide the evidence of his wet dream. He turned his head and smiled, one hoof over his crotch. He slowly turned around until he was sitting so the his body was parallel to hers.

"Hey Octavia. How about I go get some coffee?" he said, faking joviality. One hoof still protectively covering himself.

"I don't really feel like coffee at the moment" replied Octavia, looking confused at the panicked expression of Midnight's face.

"What do you feel like? Milk? Juice?" Asked Midnight, still not turning fully to face her.

"I want to hug you, you foolish stallion." Octavia giggled. "Come on."

Midnight swore in the privacy of his head. He had to delay for another couple of minutes. He just had to. Maybe he could. Octavia's hoof curled about his foreleg that was desperately hiding his embarrassment. As she began to tug at the arm, he resigned himself. He looked over to her, hoping to keep her eyes trained on his face, not certain other body parts. He turned around, keeping his eyes locked on to hers, trying to maintain his gaze. He began to walk the few feet between them. Gently, she pulled him closer.

Okay, just a couple of feet before it is below the line of the bed. I just need to get that far, Octavia's eyes ranged over his body. At his nether regions, they froze, then grew very wide.

It was at precisely this moment that Luna carried Vinyl in, Vinyl had been drinking the most, but her tolerance was higher. She still got blood poisoning though and Luna brought her down to get her sorted out, but also to find Midnight. As she walked through the door, she took in the tableau in front of her. She saw the shocked expression on Octavia's face, the terrified expression on Midnight's face and the proud, standing glory of Midnight's body. It saluted, a giant throb raising it and the lowering it again, Luna managed to drop Vinyl on a bed before collapsing. Octavia managed to grin. Midnight managed to curl up on the floor, hating himself more and more with each passing mistake.

Midnight's past?

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The screams of terror and pain followed Midnight Guardian as he sprinted down one of the corners of the Saddle Arabian palace. The demons that had been summoned by the mad unicorn had torn through his squadron, leaving most of them as nothing more than a mess on the carpet. Still sprinting, he opened a door ahead of him, his magical radar informing him of the tentacle monstrosities turning the corner behind him. Diving through the open doorway, he slammed the door shut behind him and shoved his pike through the handles, barring it from opening. Next he glanced around the room, his trained eyes finding pieces of heavy furniture with which to barricade the door further.

A few short seconds later, he was through the opposite door, his magic erasing his trail behind him, even as one of the demons began to batter at the firmly closed door. Soon enough Midnight was out of the wing containing the demons and into the main area of the palace. They had already been through here. The air smelled like a charnel house, the floor was strewn with- Midnight! -pieces of- Midnight! -the fourth squad- MIDNIGHT!

He jerked awake, his blood running cold, his whole body drenched with cold sweat, tears running down his cheeks at the memory of his past. Ponies had never known war, but only because of black operations groups. Groups like the one that Midnight had belonged to. He had seen some shit. He had lost friends, saved lives and-

"Midnight, are you okay?"

"Of course he's not okay, look at him."

"We should kill that nurse. What she said to him was-"

"Don't say that, remember his reaction to what she said. You'll make him worse."

"Midnight, can you hear me? Can you understand me."

The effects of the dream were still heavy on his conscience. His last mission had ended in disaster, with only one pony walking out alive. Slowly, he opened his eyes, looking at the two mares who could make or break him. He couldn't manage a smile. He could barely manage a whimper before he closed his eyes, buried his face in their chests and cried. They didn't react at first, simply surprised at his reaction. Evidently they had no idea what he had been through. Slowly, they looked at each other. Octavia looked over to Luna.

"Did you take that look into his dreams?"

Luna's face turned from her usual indigo to an almost sky blue as the colour drained from her face.

"I did." she replied in a flat voice, her eyes turning from concern over Midnight to a deep fear and sadness. Octavia looked at her "friend", their actual relationship still hazy. She could understand that she didn't want to know what had come from Midnight's mind. She could see that Luna herself didn't want to. Her own mind reeling from the thought of what it could be, she turned her attention to Midnight, putting a hoof around his shoulders and pulling him in close.

It took Midnight hours to calm down. Luna and Octavia stayed by him as he sat their, tears constantly rolling down his cheeks at the bottled up emotion. He hadn't resigned from Celestia's service, even after the incident with the demons. Instead, he had volunteered for the royal palace guard, eventually being reassigned to look after Luna shortly after she arrived back from the moon. It had been a little rocky since then. Things had happened, he had sorted out security for her during Nightmare Night. Interestingly enough, he had been improving over the years, the stress of looking after Celestia's troublesome sister relieving some of his survivor's guilt, Celestia's own magic, numbing any PTSD that he might have gotten, even accounting for his incredible constitution.

Midnight had only lost it once during the music picking incident, but Octavia's intervention prevented it from developing. Now though.

Octavia and Luna sat with Midnight, alternately hugging him or softly kissing him, singing, crooning, comforting and watching. They loved him too much to leave him. Eventually, his breakdown began to stop, his eyes out of tears, his lungs weak from the sobbing. Eventually, he dropped into an uneasy dreamless sleep. Luna wrapped him with her magic, settled him onto her back, then she and Octavia carried him to her room. Settling his form on her bed, Luna drew the covers around him and laid down beside him, Octavia resting herself on his other side. Together, the three of them slept, their restlessness during the past few days carrying them for two complete days of sleep.

Octavia and Luna woke almost at the same time. It was light outside, the clock on the dresser in Luna's room reading noon. Silently, Octavia slid away from Midnight, signing with her hooves for her to keep Midnight asleep for another hour. Luna looked at her quizzically, but then she shrugged and cast the spell. Quietly, the two crept out of the door and into the hallway.

"We should make him a breakfast," said Octavia, her eyes virtually sparking with love for Midnight and an insistence to heal him.

"Can we cook?" asked Luna skeptically.

"Ummmm...I don't know."

"Well, we could try I suppose."

"To the kitchens then."

"Right!"

Enthusiastically, Luna and Octavia made their way to the kitchens. As they walked they optimistically began planning all the foods that they would make. They arrived at the kitchens and looked around. The midday meal was underway, and there was almost no food left in the larder. All of the stoves and ovens were being used. There wasn't enough material to make a slice of toast. Luna turned to Octavia who had sat down and was rubbing her hoof on her chin.

"What are you thinking about?" asked Luna looking towards Octavia.

"How deep is the royal treasury?" said Octavia, still rubbing her chin.

"Very, why?"

"Lets go buy the supplies. We can have a shopping trip."

"But what if Midnight wakes up?"

"Keep him asleep. Set it so that it will remind you every fifteen minutes. It wakes him up if you respond with a certain kind of magic or code."

"How do you know about that kind of magic?"

"I hung around with Midnight for a full day after he used it on me. I asked him. I figured that as princess of the night who can go into people's dreams, you might know a thing or two more."

"Logic dictates that such an explanation makes sense."

Octavia looked up at Luna then, her eyes searching for any expression on Luna's suddenly deadpan face. Luna managed to hold it for five complete seconds before bursting out laughing. Octavia joined her.

"Come on then," said Octavia after they had both calmed down a bit. "Lets go to the treasury."

"Right!"

SHOPPING TRIP!

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Luna and Octavia strode down the steps of the castle, saddlebags heavy with gold.

"Right then," Luna said cheerfully. "Where to first?"

"We need a stove." said Octavia, a list of things still forming in her mind.

"Where are we going to keep all of this anyway?" asked Luna, her eyes narrowing. She looked suspiciously at Octavia.

"Well, I don't exactly have a royal suite, but somepony does." replied Octavia slyly. Luna caught her look.

"No. You can share a room with Midnight now. I will give you a royal suite. What we buy can go there."

Octavia's eyes widened like a little foal. She began to nuzzle at Luna even as they walked. They drew some odd looks, but nothing too serious.

"Stop it," chided Luna, running a hoof down Octavia's mane. "I will pop in too from time to time."

"I think that we can have some fun. A more private place will be good."

Luna giggled, knowing what Octavia was talking about. Octavia giggled a little too. They continued walking until they arrived at the store for kitchen appliances. Octavia looked in through the window and saw a massive kitchen range, stove-top, oven, extractor fan. It was perfect. Luna looked at it as well.

"We could make do with something smaller." suggested Luna in vain.

"No." was all Octavia said.

It was a few minutes later. The new stove was sitting in the main hall with a note directing it to be taken to Cadence's vacated rooms. She wouldn't need them, being in the crystal empire ever since the "human" incident with Shining Armour. Luna had transported it there after Octavia had insisted that they lighten the load on their saddlebags. While Luna hadn't objected to that, she was a little bit less impulsive in her spending.

"What next then?" asked Luna, "We are only here for cooking implements remember, not random décor."

"Would I do that?" asked Octavia, a hurt expression on her face.

"I think it likely." replied Luna, grinning.

"Well, I won't. Not today anyway. Today, we are going to go and find some pots, bowls, plates, knives, forks, a grille, and ingredients plus condiments. Asda will do."

Luna just followed her. They strode down long promenades and beautiful streets, past ponies that had been eating lunch together while the couple passed by. They kept walking until they reached a massive building. It was huge. It looked like a warehouse.

"Asda." said Octavia simply, Luna's mouth hanging down beside her.

"It's huge." exclaimed Luna, the sheer enormity of the building taking her breath away.

"It's Asda." said Octavia, walking towards the doors in the front.

Luna followed her in. The aisles were well marked. Octavia appeared from the right , half riding a shopping cart.

"I love these, all four wheels are on pivots, not just the front two. Watch!"

She spun the cart as they walked, the wire basket moving with them while inscribing a full 360 degree turn. Luna was impressed.

"Come on, food's this way." called Octavia as she rushed off. Luna lifted herself into the air with her wings and followed. Octavia was sprinting towards the food aisle, grabbing pots, pans and a grille from hooks on the displays as she ran. Her cart was half full when they arrived at the food aisle. She also had a big bottle of maple syrup in it. Luna pulled the remaining ingredients off of the shelves and they went to the check-out. Octavia looked over the huge lines and winked at Luna.

"You're a princess. Would you mind getting us through this?"

"I do mind. I will not abuse my power."

"What's the use of having it then?"

"They use is that I can use it when I need to."

"But you need to now. Midnight is still..."

Octavia's voice trailed off. Luna looked down at her and saw a tear in Octavia's eye.

"Fine. ALL YE ASDA SHOPPERS, IT IS I! PRINCESS LUNA IS AMONGST YOU AND WISHES TO APPROACH THE CHECKOUT!"

"Great job Luna" Octavia said, tears forgotten as she ran down a corridor to checkout 1.

Was I just manipulated? thought Luna, flying along behind her. They checked out and returned to the castle, where lunch had finished, the clean-up after lunch had finished and the palace pantry had been restocked. Luna facehoofed as they headed over to the lead chef.

"We want you to cook the best waffles in Equestria. Now!" said Octavia, an aggressive side asserting itself once more. The chef said nothing, just turned around, walked into the kitchens and began to prepare ingredients. Octavia gave a girlish giggle and hugged the old mare. The mare blushed a little, but still said nothing. Octavia turned to Luna.

"What the hell?" asked Luna, her voice coming out before Octavia could say anything.

"What?" asked Octavia, all innocence.

"How are you so good at manipulating people?"

"Well, when you have a younger sister..."

"I am a younger sister and 'tia...isn't...good..." Luna shut up.

"Look, go get Midnight ready to wake up, I will come up with the waffles."

"Ok, fine. I don't care anymore." said Luna, shaking her head.

10 minutes later, Luna was sitting next to Midnight who had recently woken up.

"You and Octavia can have the day off. You need to finish recovering from your breakdown." Midnight nodded meekly, accepting the rest. Suddenly, Octavia knocked on the door. It opened in a purple aura and Octavia staggered through on two legs. She was balancing two plates on her front hooves and another on her head, a bottle of maple syrup was sitting on her muzzle. Midnight looked at her.

"What the fuck?"

An unexpected day off.

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“I’m fine now, really.” said Midnight, sitting on the bed in princess Cadence’s old rooms.

“Nonsense,” said Octavia, massaging his shoulders. “After that breakdown, I’m surprised that you are even talking coherently. Just take it easy, and let me look after you.”

“I’m serious, there’s no need.” Midnight said, then moaned suddenly at the pleasure. Octavia smiled, rubbing the area a little bit more firmly. Midnight moaned again, a bit more loudly as Octavia’s hooves dug in over his shoulder blades.

“Just relax. I will make you feel better.”

Midnight groaned again. Suddenly, he rolled over, reaching out and pulling Octavia close to him, they rolled around on the bed, kissing furiously. They bumped into the headboard and switched directions. Their kiss was interrupted by the end of the bed. Midnight was the first to go over, his weight dragging Octavia down on top of him. They hit the floor laughing. Midnight crawled out from under Octavia and turned, still laughing. For her part Octavia was lying on the floor still, her body also shaking with mirth.

“So, what are we going to do today?” asked Midnight. Octavia looked up at him, before getting to her hooves.

“We could go for a walk,” suggested Octavia.

Midnight looked at her. “We could…” he suggested, a devious note in his voice. “We could walk to a bar. They should be open until midnight now.”

“I could go for a drink. We should get Vinyl.”

“Sure, Shining Armour is in the Crystal Empire. He wouldn’t want me too.” He paused for a minute. “But he’s in the Crystal Empire so he won’t know, come on.”

He strode out of the door, Octavia following behind.

“We do still need to contact Vinyl,” she reminded him.

“All in hand my dear,” he said, putting on a fake high class Canterlot accent. He conjured a paper plane out of thin air. Octavia could see writing on it and recognized it as the same method of communication that he had once used to contact her. He walked forwards, sending the plane out into the afternoon air. It was only 4:00, but the sun was already starting to tint towards the horizon. The paper returned as they arrived. Midnight opened it and read the very shaky writing.

Hye Midnite. M’at tha’ bar on maen strit. Seeeeee you their.

Midnight turned to Octavia after phonetically reading the letter out loud. He cocked an eyebrow. Octavia giggled as he showed her the note.

“So, we have a destination then,” she said.

‘I suppose we do. By the looks of it, she’s already drunk off her arse and onto the floor.”

“Don’t count her out so soon. She will probably still be able to walk, albeit wobbly.”

“You’re right, I forgot about the absinthe drinking.”

Midnight began walking, Octavia following behind. They followed a similar path as that Octavia took with Luna earlier that day. Midnight lead, and Octavia was surprised that he knew his way to each of the bars so well.

“How do you know your way around Midnight?” she asked, voicing her thoughts.

“I was a young recruit once remember. Not only that, but as the only night guard, I have had to break up a fair few disturbances at each of the bars. Admittedly, I usually teleport from the balcony, but sometimes if we catch them early enough, Luna and I would stroll through the city. I don’t even need to look at the street signs anymore. When you spend a lot of time looking at the city from above, you learn to make a map in your head. I know where everything is.” He explained.

Octavia looked at him. Her expression showed, admiration, wonder, scepticism and the usual adoration. She walked over to him and nuzzled his cheek. He blushed and gave her a quick kiss, and she blushed as well. They turned onto Mane Street to see Lyra, Bon Bon and Vinyl standing near a bar. Vinyl was clearly drunk, but Lyra and Bon Bon were still only tipsy. Midnight and Octavia trotted over to them to say hi. When they were about halfway there, Vinyl looked up and yelled at them over the non-existent noise of a non-existent crowd.

“Heeeeeeeeeeeeey! Howr ya doin? Youuuu gonna come ‘ere and gimmie a kiss lil Octy or d’wi have to force wun out o ya?”

Midnight and Octavia stopped for a minute as they worked out what Vinyl had just said.

“So, I got the ‘hey’. Then she said ‘how are you doing’. Next was ‘you going to come here and give me a kiss little Octy od do I have to force one out of you’. Is that about right, Octy?” said Midnight, grinning at Octavia. She was blushing a bright shade of scarlet to counterpoint her usually grey fur. In fact, she looked like a totally different pony as the blush appeared to spread over her body. Midnight ogled her a little, also noting a dull glow coming off of her.

“Ummm…yes. That seems to be accurate.” Replied Octavia, whose blush was beginning to affect her hair.

They were interrupted by a high-speed Vinyl cannoning into Octavia and knocking her over. Midnight put his two front hooves between the two mares and tried to pry them apart. Meanwhile Lyra and Bon Bon walked over.

“So, hi,” said Lyra, stepping onto the other side of the two entwined mares and applying her own hooves. “Who are you?”

“Midnight…Midnight Guardian…at…your…service. It’s a pleasure to meet you officially,” Midnight replied, grunting as they finally managed to pry Vinyl off of Octavia. His last sentence earned a blush from Lyra as he plainly referenced her temporary insanity from when she had been turned into a human. Midnight looked down at Octavia, who was gasping at being deprived air for so long. She was still bright red, but her blush seemed to be receding. That was a good sign at least. He looked back up a Lyra.

“So, what’s your name?”

“I’m Lyra. Lyra Heartstrings,” she replied, walking around Octavia and offering Midnight her hoof. They shook.

“If it’s all the same to you, I would very much like to forget that that incident ever happened. It is kind of an embarrassment, but that was the best sex I have ever had with Bon Bon,” Lyra confided, whispering so that nopony else could hear.

“I have no objections to that. And you are?” Midnight asked, directing the question to Bon Bon.

“I’m Bon Bon. I’m Lyra’s umm… partner.”

“Glad to meet you Bon Bon, so what happened. We got a message from Vinyl saying that we were going to meet here. Did you guys get kicked out?” Midnight asked.

“Yes, we did,” confirmed Lyra.

“Where to next then?” asked Midnight.

“Have you heard of the Rose street challenge?” asked Lyra, a huge grin spreading across her face.

An unexpected announcement

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Sorry everyone, no writing for the main story this morning. I just stayed up all night, so I have no idea what would come out. But anyway, I will be starting a new fic soon and I will leave the most important decision for all of my readers. To make this easy, I will post two comments below. One will have one of the options, one will have the other. I will check them fairly frequently, but I am really raring to go on this new fic idea. For the basic outline, here is a blog post with my ides in.

The dilemma is this:

New universe of Equestria. One that is separated from the Luna's Boredom Cure series. This version would be anthro, so not without benefits.

or:

Luna's Boredom Cure universe.

Essentially, do you want me to reference things from one fic to another, or not? It will affect the characters from each fic. Another question is, do you want it in Canterlot, or Ponyville? Both are options either way so choose carefully. If it is LBC universe and Canterlot, the references will be fairly constant, but the main story might suffer. Alternatively, it could be in Ponyville and references would be rarer, but the story would work out to stand alone better. The placement of the fic affects the main characters too. In Ponyville, it would be the mane six and Lyra/BonBon, in Canterlot, we would get Octavia, the princesses and possibly the wonderbolts.

And then I get an idea. We are still doing the voting thing, but if the votes are close, I will do both in one fic. Trust me when I say that I can make it work. The main point of the comedy in this fic will be parallel universes, and here I am presenting you with the option of two parallel universes that each have their own plots. Chapters will be longer and take longer, but you can see where the fun will come from. Anyway, to vote, simply like the option of your choice. Dislikes will not be counted. Enjoy your literary democracy! :D

Back to the Story

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Midnight woke up in bed. He sat up, dislodging a traffic cone in the process. It was still dark and the slight glow of moonlight through the window was doing almost nothing to improve the blackness. He sniffed the air and got a stink of sweat and alcohol. Right, he thought, First thing's first. I need a shower. He rolled to his left and bumped into somepony. Okay not that way. He rolled to his right and bumped into some other pony. Okay, this will cause my hangover to be even worse, but...

He cast a spell, illuminating the room. He was sitting on a king size bed, Vinyl and Octavia off to his left, Lyra and Bon Bon to his right. There was a surprising amount of clutter around the room. The traffic cone was still lying at the foot of the bed, but there were articles of clothing. They included some guard uniform pieces and what looked like a garment worn by an erotic dancer. A pole had been installed that hadn't been there before and there were scorch marks up the wall beside the stove that Octavia and Luna had picked out.

Midnight carefully somersaulted his way to the foot of the bed and tried to find somewhere to put his feet. The floor was covered in stuff. The stuff included an unrecognised mare lying on the floor at the foot of the bed. She was blue with a lighter blue mane that had a white stripe on it. It kind of looked like toothpaste. Suddenly, the door burst open and a pink pony with a fuchsia mane swayed in.

"Miniiiiii~! Ohhh Miiiniiiiiiiii!" she called before her eyes rested on the blue pony at Midnight's feet.

"There you are Mini!" she shouted, immediately waking all of the ponies up except for Vinyl, who turned over and snored.

"What's all the noise?" asked Lyra, rubbing her eyes.

"Well, that's a question for our new guest." said Midnight, cringing from the shout acting on his hangover.

"Who-. Berry!" exclaimed Lyra.

"Lyra? What are you doing with my Mini?" asked Berry angrily.

"Well, we were doing the Rose street challenge and then, oh never mind, where did I put the video camera? I recorded the whole evening. Thank you for letting us all share the bed by the way Midnight."

"You're welcome?" said Midnight, still clutching his head. Octavia sat up behind him and crawled her way over to sit beside him. She wrapped her forelegs around him and kissed him.

"Ooooo," cooed Berry, watching them. "Octavia, I thought you were with Vinyl."

Octavia began to redden as she replied.

"Well, Midnight is just...so much...cuter...and nicer...and less of a drunk...and actually sleeps some times," she said, her voice trailing off to a mumble. Midnight pulled her close and kissed her again.

"I see." Said Berry, no longer swaying.

"Midnight, do you know Luna's spell?" asked Octavia, rubbing her head with her hooves.

"I think I do, give me a second." Midnight's horn flared up and his navy blue magic surrounded both him and Octavia. It died down a second later. Midnight sat up to the sound of raucous laughter. He rubbed his eyes and looked at Berry who was rolling around on the floor. He turned to Lyra and Bon Bon who were laughing despite holding their heads in their hooves.

"What is the matter with all of you?" demanded a familiar, but masculine voice.

With a feeling of dread, Midnight turned and looked at Octavia. She looked a little different, but it didn't seem major. He looked down and froze. That shouldn't be there... he managed to think to himself. Octavia turned to him, ready to ask what they were laughing about, but stopped at the sight of him. Midnight let his gaze drift further to his own crotch area. She instantly understood what they were laughing about.

HELP!!!

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Apart from the laughter of the other three, which was pretty loud, there was no sound. Midnight and Octavia stared at one another. Their sex changes had been fairly flawless, which wasn't really a good thing. On the other hand, their hangovers were gone. Neither of them panicked. If they did, nothing would get done. Midnight calmly stepped off of the bed, guiding her hooves past Minuette and slipped out of the doorway past Berry, who was rolling around laughing. Octavia followed her out, knowing that wherever she was going, it would be better than-

They walked out into a corridor that held a surprising number of members of the Canterlot elite. One of them turned towards the two sexually switched ponies. Midnight reacted fast, she grabbed Octavia and teleported them away from there to the doorway of Luna's chambers. Midnight knocked, hearing the noises of shifting furniture as her hooves touched the door. Slowly, it opened to reveal Luna, looking faintly disheveled.

"Yes, who are- MIDNIGHT?"

"Please can you not ask questions and just reverse this?" asked Midnight, lowering her eyes to meet Luna's hooves.

"No, I'm going to ask questions." replied Luna an evil grin appearing on her face. "What happened?"

"Just change it back." pleaded Midnight, sitting back and raising her hooves as if in prayer.

"Not yet, you look far too good as a mare." teased Luna.

"Oh, I know right" cut in Octavia. He pushed Midnight a little to the side. Luna looked down at him.

"You too, really Midnight, I knew that you must have had fetishes, but this?"

"What?" exclaimed Midnight, jumping up from the floor. "I didn't mean to do this. Just...never do magic with a hangover."

"You did? Oh My GOD! It really is your fetish."

"WHAT?" asked Midnight and Octavia together.

"Well, you see. If a pony has a hangover and tries to cast a spell, then the magic does it's job yes, but it also does certain other things. It reacts to the pony's mind and fulfills a suppressed wish. You apparently wanted to turn into a mare and get dicked by Octavia!"

"No. No. No, I don't want to turn into a mare!"

"That's only because you already are one."

"Well now I want to turn back."

"I'm not doing that without some...experimentation."

"No."

"What?"

"No, we are not going to be your sex toys for the...what time is it anyway?"

"About 4:00 in the morning."

"So why aren't you on the balcony?"

"Well...I."

"Were you cheating on me?" Midnight looked at Octavia. "Us." she corrected.

"No! How could you even think that I would. I wouldn't be so horny if-" Luna cut herself off, but the damage was done.

"Well, well Princess. I think that you should turn us back if you don't want that to get out."

"Are you really threatening me Midnight?" Luna asked sadly. Her eyes turned to the floor and began to fill with tears. Midnight's own eyes began to fill and she rushed forwards to hug her princess. Octavia sat back, watching as Luna's horn flared. Octavia was soon turned back into a mare. Midnight turned around, her sexy hips waving as she did a full 180 degree turn. She turned back to Luna, looking at the grin on her face.

"Fuck you." she said, turning to walk away from Luna's chambers.

"Is that a promise?" asked Luna.

"Only if you turn me back right now." she replied testily. He suddenly felt tingly.

"That was fast." said Octavia.

"Yes," replied Midnight, checking himself over. "Yes it- WHAT?"

"Oops," said Luna, her horn flaring up again, closing off Midnight's slit.

"You did that on purpose!" the ex-hermaphrodite accused.

"Would I do that?" Luna asked, conjuring a halo over her head.

"Yes." said Midnight and began to walk away.

"Hey. Hold it. You made me a promise." Midnight turned around and walked back to the princess.

"I suppose I did," he sighed. He walked past Luna into the room. Octavia followed him inside. Luna looked around and closed the door. It glowed navy blue for a second as it was magically locked.

Wait, a plot?

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Midnight sat back on a chair across from the DJ of the third nightclub. The first two nightclubs were ready to open, but Luna and Vinyl had insisted on waiting. It seemed likely that they would make a decent profit. Midnight listed off songs to the DJ. Songs of his own choice this time, he didn't exactly want a repeat of last time. It was only a couple of days after his first disastrous attempt at pleasing people, but now he knew what he had to do. Slowly, he finished picking the music and looked up at Luna, Octavia and Vinyl.

"Well, we finally have our clubs." he said. "Shall we open them?" He smiled at his friends and they smiled back. For the first time in a week, he truly relaxed. He wasn't worried about what they thought. He looked towards a sofa nearby where Berry, Minuette, Lyra and Bon Bon.

"Yes." said Luna, standing up and walking over to him. Octavia got a weird look on her face and got up as well. Midnight didn't notice the brief change in her usual calm demeanor, but it spelled the end of his brief peace from two fighting mares. It happened again at dinner, Octavia sitting between Midnight and Luna, casting a surreptitious look over to Luna before returning to normal conversation. She considered it payback, but Luna looked at it differently. She had looked at her game board in secret.

It was equal. What could she do now? She could fight for control of Midnight overtly, or maintain the fiction of peace for her lover's sake. Octavia could not view the board, but she knew what was happening. The mysteries of the heart were unknown to stallions, but were instinctual to mares. She stayed at Midnight's side as they travelled from club to club in the evening, hugging him during the opening of the first two clubs. When Midnight stepped forward to open the third club, Octavia stepped up beside him, kissing him soundly after the fact, her eyes burning into Luna's with a hidden malice that only Luna shared.

Luna cast a thought into Octavia's mind. Meet me on the balcony in half an hour. Octavia blinked once in acknowledgement and broke off the kiss. Luna turned and teleported ahead. Octavia wasn't exactly sure about this, but she knew not to bring Midnight. Instead, she turned to Lyra and Bon Bon.

"Would you two mind coming with me?" she asked of them.

"Ok. Where are we going?" said Lyra, following Octavia as she turned to leave the crowd.

"To Luna's balcony." replied Octavia.

"Ok, I have a favour to ask of her." said Lyra, smiling to herself.

"Really? What is it?" asked Octavia, giving Lyra an odd look.

"You will find out later." said Lyra, still smiling.

Octavia shrugged and kept walking. Bon Bon followed her and Lyra lagged behind a little bit. They reached the palace and climbed to Luna's balcony. Octavia opened the door to see Luna standing with a chess set resting on the table in front of her. Octavia understood and walked over to the table. She sat down as Luna sat across from her. Luna threw the white king into the air. It came down pointing towards Octavia. She would take the first move. Amidst the silent seriousness, Lyra stepped forwards.

"Umm, Your Highness? Could I ask a favour please?"

"What is it Lyra? Octavia and I have business to settle."

"Could you turn me into a human again please?"

"What?" Luna said, completely distracted from what she was about to do.

"Can you turn me into a human again?"

"Why?"

"Well..." Lyra began to blush. She began to fiddle with her hoof. Luna looked back to Octavia, a questioning look on her face. Octavia looked back and shrugged. Luna nodded. A flash later, Lyra stood on two legs, wearing exactly the same clothes as she had before. Humans have far less modest bodies than ponies and Lyra quickly noticed just that. She was also a little bit imbalanced. Breasts will do that to you. Bon Bon walked over to her. Lyra caught herself from falling and thanked Luna, walking for the door. Octavia looked at her.

"Are you sure that that was a good idea?" She asked.

"Oh yes, as soon as she get more than 40 yards away from me, the spell will reverse. It should be happening any moment..." A shriek of rage cut through the air. "now," Luna finished. Octavia giggled, joined in mirth by her soon to be opponent. The mood slowly darkened. The board glowed as Luna enchanted it. Midnight could be directly affected by the actions of the pieces, while the moves that were made would be actions in his dreams. No mere corporeal moves could be made, only the mysteries of the mind and soul could shift a piece.

Luna sent him a message telling him that he should rest a little before their shift tonight. She cast a spell granting vision of Midnight. They watched as he made his way to the chambers that he was to be sharing with Octavia. He sat up waiting for a short while, then shrugged and went to sleep. Luna turned to Octavia.

"Well then, let us begin." she said as Octavia started the game.

Wow, updates!

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Midnight ran down a corridor, chased by giant purple hippos. This can't be real. It must be a dream. It is a nightmare. WHERE'S LUNA?

On the game board between Luna and Octavia, Luna's piece moved of it's own accord.

"Hey, I was going first!"

"He's having a nightmare and just called out to me. My piece responded to that."

"Its not fair."

"This isn't fair."

Suddenly, a new set of hooves joined his. Midnight turned to see Octavia running beside him.

"How did you?" he began.

"Run! This way." Octavia replied, reaching to him and pulling him into a small hole in a wall. The two crawled through a gap into a garden. It was beautiful, but suddenly, parts of it started to die.

"MIDNIGHT, OVER HERE!" shouted Luna from a doorway. A large plant started to lean towards Midnight and opened up a huge maw. Luna's magic threw the thing into the wall, letting Midnight rush past. They dashed through a doorway and found Octavia lying on a bed, her hooves raised and a sultry expression on her face. She looked over to him and beckoned with her hoof. Midnight looked to Luna, who had disappeared. He stepped forwards, then straddled his marefriend. He leant down to kiss her,, closing his eyes. He opened them to see that he was kissing a corpse in a hallway full of the things.

He jerked back, and fell through a hole in the floor onto a carefully placed couch full of cushions. Octavia was beside him, stroking his mane. He blinked and was in the sky, a pair of wings on his back. Luna was flying beside him, swooping in close to embrace him. The lunar princess turned into a hawk, talons outstretched. Midnight rolled and fell, the wings on his back vanishing. Then the hawk flew under him, catching him on its back. Octavia grabbed him and pulled him further on to the giant bird, crooning:

"It will all be okay. It will all be over soon."

The bird banked, then rolled, dropping the two from it's back. Midnight reached out for Octavia before Luna caught him in her hooves, leaving Octavia to... vanish.


___________________________________________________________________________________

Suddenly, it was light outside. The sun was streaming through the window and only one mare was sitting over him. He didn't need another. This was his mare. He reached up and caressed her face. A tear fell from her cheeks and landed on his face. Another fell, and then another. Midnight sat up and embraced her. She collapsed into him, holding him tighter and tighter.

"It could only have been you." said Midnight.

"Really? You knew?"

"It was pretty obvious after a while. You two could have been more subtle about it."

"I suppose."

They stopped talking.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Luna stood on her balcony as the sun's rays reached out over Canterlot. She looked through her telescope as Midnight woke up to be greeted by Octavia. Next time, I won't let a nice mare into his life. she thought to herself. She turned to her three companions on the balcony. Two guards stood by the doorway, freshly dressed in the navy blue armour of the night guard. Vinyl sat off to one side, watching the toned bodies of the new stallions. They stood straight up and alert, fresh from training in the palace guard. Luna walked over and cast a long glance over them.

"Well then, your first order is to slouch a bit. Come on, no cadets up on my tower, you two need to keep me company over these nights. I don't want to be bored." she said, managing to keep a straight face. It was undermined a little by Vinyl laughing from the game table. The two guards uneasily relaxed a little, still ready to leap to attention.

"Come oooon." complained Luna looking from stallion to stallion. "Is that the best you have, slooouuuuuch." she said, bending her knees and leaning back. The two guards leant back a little, one of them sitting down.

"There we go. Now, on the tower, we usually treat orders as suggestions." Both guards snapped back up to attention. "Except for that order to relax. I fully expect you to fall asleep a couple of times over the first few nights. That's normal. You know of Midnight Guardian?" she asked. The two guards nodded. "Well, he snores. Loudly. He also snored on that very bench over there." She pointed to her bench. The guards eyes widened.

"The Midnight Guardian?" asked one of the fresh guards, a tone of awe in his voice.

"Yes, and I just let him slip through my hooves last night. He loved me, but I lost him. So now I have you until he comes back from leave and thereafter. You will be working with him. Trust me, he's adorable. Like a puppy." There was a knock on the door. It opened in the aura of Luna's magic, revealing Octavia and Midnight. The two guards turned around and recognised Midnight. They snapped to attention.

"So, how new are they?" asked Midnight, casting a pained glance at the two motionless soldiers before him.

"Fresh out of training. I wanted to get them before those donkeys got to them." replied Luna.

"Listen up, if you wanted the easiest job in Equestria... you just got it. Lighten up, you two look ready to shit yourselves. While it would be terribly amusing for me and someone else would have to clean it up, it would still smell bad for a while and we would have to go and get a drink. Remember this. If Luna says she loves you, she does. Accept it. I have no doubt that you will return it. She is a skank and loves to get drunk and have sex. She swears with the best of them and knows how to throw a punch. She has a quick wit when it comes to almost anything other than insulting giant bees and knows how to get rid of the aftereffects of a good time. But for all that, she is sweet, kind, generous and everything that you could ever want. She is probably mare enough for both of you and she will probably add Vinyl into the mix." A pair of nervous and embarrassed glances caused Midnight, Luna, Octavia and Vinyl to look down. The swelling of the two new guards caused laughter from the other four and even more embarrassment from then.

"Good start you two." laughed Midnight. "Embarrassing yourselves will save you some time and this way, Luna won't have to embarrass you. I can vouch for that." And with that, Midnight turned and walked through the doorway, Octavia followed behind him. Luna was laughing too hard to notice him go. The two guards looked sheepishly at one another and their composure broke too. Then they were laughing with the two remaining mares. Vinyl pulled out a risk board and slowly, the group took seats around the table.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Midnight and Octavia walked down the stairs towards the palace gardens, discussing a vacation.

"What about Ponyville?" asked Midnight.

"I should probably go and get my stuff, it's true." replied Octavia.

"Well, we can do some other stuff while we are there." said Midnight. Music from Luna's tower started to blare out over Canterlot. The song "Rhythm Emotion" from Neighpon. The music dropped to the level of the gardens and Midnight and Octavia looked up towards the tower and smiled. A speck disappeared back over the edge. The slightly sad music followed them as they walked out into the city.

So, I tried again.

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I decided to do a proper sequel this time. It is coming along significantly better than the previous one started and I like it a lot more. It is called "What is madness?" The primary difference is, I am starting with something amusing, as opposed to implying that amusing things will happen. I hope that you can enjoy.