In Somnis
In Somnis
Teeth grabbing on the vine, flexing my strong neck, twines around the hoof, another three inches up. Earth ponies were not made for climbing. The route that would take a pegasus ten seconds took me nearly an hour by now. Need for silence, need to blend with the vines whenever the guards passed below. An ache of my neck, strained with the effort of supporting my whole body — still, nothing compared to the cliffs of Gull Harbor, six years ago, stealth storm on the demon fort. That was my past. Once again, I pondered my folly. Just one glimpse up close, hearing her voice once again, and then I'd likely spend the short remainder of my life in prison. But it would be worth it. Bite into the vine, flex neck, secure position with hooves, look around for dangers, repeat.
“Luna.” I whispered the name, and the whisper felt sweet on my lips against the bitter juice of the vines. The most beautiful mare of Equestria, my employer until recently, and my dream since I saw her for the first time, the day she returned. I dreamed about her ever since — fifteen years by now. I joined the Shadow Guard, a military force under her command, and I fought the most dangerous battles to prove myself worthy to become one of her personal Elite Guard. Then — with three medals on my chest, I presented my application to the clerk. And the clerk stamped “Denied” without ever looking. “We don't need earth ponies in Her Majesty's personal guard.”
At first, I thought I'd murder the clerk in my rage, but then... I was no longer the infatuated colt who would quit, broken-hearted. I was a veteran, a master, and she was my whole life, my purpose of existence. If she herself denies me, my life will lose purpose, but I would not give in to a fancy Canterlot clerk.
Bite. Flex neck. Hold with hooves. More than two thirds of the way to her tower.
A cramp twisted my leg in paralyzing pain.
“Luna.”
And the pain didn't matter.
* * *
I jumped onto the balcony. The curtain revealed the inside, dim, luxurious but harsh; big, heavily decorated furniture by bare stone walls, dark paintings, lavish, heavy couch, a huge four-poster bed, a large mahogany desk loaded with papers, a wardrobe the size of a wagon; everything barely outlined by the weak light of a single bright candle on the desk.
She was there; I saw her shadow in the light of the candle, sitting by the desk. That was the moment when my life would reach its culmination. Five steps in, and she would see me.
The curtain felt heavier than the door of the commander room of the demon fort.
And then I stood inside.
She was sitting with her back to me, at her desk, outlined by the light of the single candle.
“Princess,” I whispered. I wanted to say it out loud, but I could only force myself to whisper.
“Sergeant Shadow Step,” she said, turning to me.
She knew my name! How did she know my name?!
“No longer a sergeant, your majesty.” I bowed my head.
“Sergeant, retired. Narwahl Bay, Blizzard Sea, Gull Harbor. You were the one who fought commander Khuzul, the baroness of succubi, one on one. That takes some fierce bravery, but then your record isn't impeccable. There was a case of insubordination, questioning orders of your superiors.”
“I believe I saved the lives of twenty by my case of insubordination. Frontal assault was bound to fail. I think the young officer didn't really get the memo that shadow scouts are not heavy infantry. We achieved the goal, but through stealth instead, with no losses at all.”
The princess nodded, a small smirk on her face. I recalled the fact that Lieutenant Ironshod, the superior who'd given me the order of frontal assault and later filed the reprimand, was quietly transferred to Canterlot, to a position where she couldn't do much harm.
“So, why did you come?” she asked.
Her smile was so beautiful, my heart jumped.
“I... I wanted to apply for your personal guard... considering that I was able to slip past them...”
“Considering that your file is on my desk,” Luna levitated a binder, “you didn't. But don't let that discourage you. You overcame thirty-two percent of countermeasures along the route unnoticed. That is the third best result so far.”
I stood there, my heart pounding wildly. She was not angry with me. She was... coy.
“Currently, you don't qualify," she continued. “Your exceptional bravery and skill exceed the expectations and your tenacity is precisely what I expect — not a single official application to Elite Guard is ever approved. Your insubordination was deemed justified. Still, what I demand from my personal guard is complete trust and absolute honesty with me. You were not completely honest with me.”
I gasped. “Princess, I would never lie to you!”
“No, not outright lie. More like... withholding your true intentions.”
“I... I really want nothing more than to be one of your Elite Guard!”
“Nothing more? Just a guard?” Luna asked, her coy smile making my heart flutter wildly. “You are either lacking in honesty or in bravery.”
Her beautiful smile made my mind fuzzy and I was unable to come up with words that would rebuke her accusation. And that thought that kept surfacing, that compulsion that would ruin everything, I must resist, I must...
No, actions speak stronger than words; I must prove my honesty, and my bravery too. I will pay dearly for that, but at least she will know me for my true feelings.
In two quick strides I approached the princess and kissed her mouth, quickly, without hesitation, bracing myself for the inevitable impact of Luna throwing me off, pushing me away.
And then, a second later, a second of the sweetest kiss of the universe, a second of feeling the most wonderful touch and breathing the scent of my deepest desire, I felt the blow, staggered and fell to the floor stunned.
No, it wasn't a blast of her magic or a kick of her hoof.
It was the merest touch of the tip of her tongue on the tip of my tongue, but the sudden impact it had on me — the sudden realization what it meant — sent me rolling like I was hit by a train.
Through the daze I heard a giggle like crystal bells. “Oh, my. We will have to work on desensitizing you a little.”
Levitation magic surrounded me. I felt it carrying me through the air and place me on a soft bed. There was some motion and quiet steps out of my focus. My senses returned slowly; I was lying on Luna's big four-poster bed, and she was standing by it.
“You took your sweet time to overcome your fears and come to me at last. I observed you for quite a while... I've been in your dreams...”
My eyes shot open wide. Luna stepped forward and lay on the bed beside me.
“Some were your tests of loyalty. Most of them I just observed...”
“Did you... did you see...” I stuttered, suddenly feeling cold sweat gathering under my coat.
"The earlier ones, yes, I did see. The last few... as your subconscious was about to create a figment in my likeness, I would step in and take its place. We are not exactly strangers, to put things mildly. And in all honesty, I enjoyed those dreams a lot!”
“I...you...” I was choking on my words, my eyes bulging. “Did I...? The scarves? The armchair?”
“The royal carpenter said the armchair will be ready by the end of the week. I ordered some modifications though; the armrests would mercilessly cut into my thighs. As for the scarves... these were more readily available...”
Four long, colorful silk scarves levitated over the bed, surrounded by glow of Luna's magic.
“Princess, are you... do I... we shouldn't....”
“It is your right to argue with me, my brave guard, but don't you think it's better saved for more worthy occasions?” Luna's smile was nothing short of naughty as she held her forehoof out, with the end of one the scarves tied in a knot around it already.
I swallowed loudly and took the other end of the scarf in my teeth, cautiously.
“You were more eager three days ago.” Luna smirked.
“I wasn't quite aware of my actions,” I mumbled around the scarf.
“But you followed your heart's desire back then.”
“You were very... alluring.” I stepped off the bed and began tying the scarf to one of the posts. “Truly, this is my true desire, my dream come true.”
As I picked the other scarf, which Luna had tied around her other hoof by now, I felt a pleasurable shiver in my spine. That was truly a dream come true...
Or was it? Was it true?
I threw a glance at a bookshelf near the bed and tried to read the first title. “Renaissance of the Pony...” “Reconnaissance?” “Resonance?” “Renounce the Pony?”
The story that you can't feel pain in your dreams is an urban legend. Reading though... You can't read in your dreams. No sentence ever reads the same twice.
I began noticing other inconsistencies. “Big, heavily decorated furniture” — I knew it was heavily decorated, but I had to focus on the decorations to make them anything more than a fuzzy concept of decorations in peripheral vision. The couch was just the same as in the lobby of the inn where I stayed on my visit to Canterlot. The wardrobe was so ludicrously oversized it was totally impractical. One candle was not nearly enough to keep the whole room of this size lit — there was some ambient, sourceless light, and the shadows were all wrong. And on top of that, I didn’t feel temperature or smells, I lacked taste and my hearing was all about understanding speech and tone, not about actual sounds.
My heart sank. This was a dream. Just a dream. Vivid, beautiful and painful for feeling so real...
I looked at the princess with her two hooves bound already. “I'm sorry, my dear figment of imagination, but that would be disrespectful to the real princess.”
Luna slapped her forehead with her hoof. “Yes, this is a dream, but that doesn't mean I lied. I am real. There; she wasn't very cooperative...” Luna used her magic to open her big wardrobe. There, under fancy dresses, bundled in the corner was another Luna, hogtied with a rope, gagged with a piece of cloth, and with a dull green, donut-shaped puff of magic surrounding her horn. “There's your figment. I'm the real thing.”
“That's exactly what my brain would show me to convince me.”
Luna didn't hide her ire. There was a shade of malice in her stare. “I will not tolerate disobedience. If you ever are to be my guard, you will follow my order. Do me.”
I smirked. “I may not know everything about our princess, but I know she would not abuse her position like that. Begone, nightmare.”
And there, with my wish, by my will of driving the reality of the lucid dream, my princess dissolved into blue mist and vanished.
I untied the bound copy and she slipped the gag off her mouth, but I was unable to remove the ethereal ring of energy from her horn. She looked at me; there was some fear in her eyes. I shook my head sadly.
“My dreams start worrying me. I mean no ill, but I wish you to be gone too, my troubling companion.” I sighed, smiling to the other Luna gently, and focusing on dissolving her too.
It didn't work.
She smirked, though without malice.
“And now you'll tell me that it happened because you are the real one, right?” I asked, sighing quietly.
She shook her head and answered in a gentle tone. “I might, but you wouldn't believe me anyway. Would you believe a mere figment living in your own subconsciousness managed to subdue the real princess? I have no way of proving to you here that I am real anyway.”
“If you are real, you should be able to leave.”
“Not with the magical blockade. Wish it away from my horn and I'm gone that very moment. I hate to overstay my welcome in others' dreams...”
“Nice try. I wouldn't mind the real Princess here, but honestly, what are the chances? And you... Nice and kind as you are, you are just my idealized image of her.”
I focused on the ethereal ring and wished it out of the horn. The ring stretched thin, flowed out but parts of it stuck, then it flowed back and reformed, flowing like slime over the horn surface. I tried again, but try as I might, I couldn't grasp the substance which would find leaks in my wish and flow back.
“Oh for goodness sake,” the princess scoffed. “The ungraspable goo! Your subconsciousness is more tenacious than I thought. Forget it. Just wake up.”
“Why? A lucid dream this vivid has countless possibilities that would not be disrespectful to the real princess. I can just leave you here, can't I?”
“Ummm...” this visibly troubled her. “Do you have to? I'd be stuck here for who knows how long until you wake up... and...”
“Come on, grab yourself a book or something... oh, wait. You can't read in dreams. But you could take a walk in the gardens or something...”
“Please?”
“Are you... scared?” I grinned.
“That fake me that lives in your mind is really creepy. I'm worried she might take her frustrations out on me.”
“And there we have a proof you are not the real one. Would the ageless Princess Luna be afraid of some boogeypony lurking in my mind?’
“You'd be surprised...” She shook her head. “Please? Pretty please?”
“Oh, all right. Spoilsport.” I sighed, then pushed myself against the fabric of the dream, asserted my reality, felt for my real limbs.
Before the dream unreality vanished, I saw her smile to me thankfully. “In Somnis Veritas,” she whispered.
With some effort I sat up, and opened my eyes.
* * *
I was sitting on a cot. Rock walls. A torch behind the bars.
Bars? Oh, drat.
With a sinking feeling, I realized I was in jail. My legs were bound with two pairs of manacles.
I tried to recall how I got here.
Yes, I tried it. I sneaked through the Canterlot Gardens. I bypassed the outer walls, got through the servants’ quarters and was about to climb the barrack’s roof when...
I rubbed my rump. Yes, a tranquilizer dart. I failed. They must have spotted me.
There, my failure of a dream in ruins.
I stood up and hobbled up to the bars.
“The sleeping prince woke up!” a screeching voice sounded. It was an old prison guard, a mare with so many wrinkles that her face was barely visible, sitting at a desk on the end of the corridor outside. “Took your sweet time to wake up.”
She rang a small bell on her desk, and soon I heard approaching hoofsteps. Two strong guards. The crone opened my cell, and the two told me to follow. They led me out, down the corridor, then pushed me into an interrogation room.
I knew the interrogation room. I had interrogated a minor demon once in a room exactly like this one. I remembered the change, an order signed by the Princess that stripped the interrogation room at our base in Iceberg Straits of all torture devices, and this one was to code: just a chair with straps, a strong lamp, a table and another chair on the other side of the table. They didn't need to strap me in, there were bolts to attach the chains of my manacles that were much faster to use.
One guard switched the strong lamp on, while the other removed lamps from the walls.
They left the room, but then soon I heard another set of hooves. Shifting of the chair. There was my interrogator.
“So we meet again, Shadow Step.” The female voice was filled with malice.
“Ironshod.” I sighed.
“Yes. Lieutenant Ironshod. Three years after Black Frost Forest and still just a lieutenant, all thanks to you. But I still outrank you, if I'm not mistaken.”
“You surely do, lieutenant. I'm a civilian now.”
“In whose service?”
“My own.”
The blow was quick. Ironshod did live up to her name, famous for her heavy, cast iron horseshoes. The pain and shock weren't anything a veteran like me couldn't handle, but I knew Ironshod.
“Who do you work for?”
Before Black Frost Forest two good guards were sent back home, permanently crippled by her “training”. There was a rumor that she was the reason why Princess Luna banned the torture devices. I knew it was just the beginning, and besides... I told the truth the first time over. What else was I supposed to say?
“Nopony.”
Another blow, to my stomach, and as I bent down, another hit me in the face.
“Talk now.”
“Just myself.”
She hit again, twice. Blood ran from my mouth, and I felt one of my teeth moving. She certainly knew how to cause pain; my body began giving in.
“Talk.”
I looked at my tormentor with hate.
A kick to my hind leg, then another to my stomach.
The pain was becoming unbearable, so I used the best painkiller I knew. “Luna,” I whispered, and the pain lessened.
“What did you say?!” Ironshod pushed my face up, holding it between her hooves.
“Luna. Princess Luna. I only answer to her.”
“If that's a lie, you are going to regret it dearly. It so happens the Princess is visiting the barracks tonight, so we should be able to verify it easily.”
She left the room, leaving me in my pain.
True to her word, she was back maybe ten minutes later, followed by four guards — and then, by Luna.
By Princess Luna, regal and powerful.
Princess Luna approached me.
Last glimpse... I struggled to remember her beautiful face but the darned lamp blinded me and I barely saw her outline.
“I don't know this pony. I mean, I understand he used to be one of my soldiers, but you can't expect me to remember them all,” she said to Ironshod. Then Luna's horn glowed as she lowered it to my head. Then she stumbled back, as if repulsed.
“I can feel the dreams of this one, dripping with perverted emotions, directed at me. He is not a spy. He is a sick pervert.” She scoffed, turning away from me, indignant and angry. “I'm not going to touch this one. You decide what to do with him, lieutenant.”
“I heard he was a veteran of the Gull Harbor, a war hero,” I heard one of the guards tell Luna.
“So low has he fallen... How did a hero become this despicable creature?”
My head sunk low as the door closed after the princess. Not for long. A punch of the iron-shod hoof felt... deserved. And another. And another. I spat two teeth while Ironshod was catching her breath.
I didn’t even struggle to oppose the pain. I didn’t dare to speak the name again, to tarnish it with my tongue.
Then Ironshod kicked me in my balls.
“Sicko,” she spat at my face as I curled in pain.
Three more blows and I began losing my consciousness.
* * *
There she was, in darkness of my pain-induced daze. She still had the ring of magic blocking her horn. Her mane was frazzled.
“Wake up! For goodness sake, wake up!” she shook my shoulders. “You are still dreaming!”
“Well, duh, Princess Obvious. Sure, I just got knocked out,” I blurted out through my daze.
“Not this! Do you think I banned the torture devices to have sick officers browbeat the prisoners? Do you think I would keep that inept buffoon in the Castle Barracks? Wake up!”
Another blow woke me up.
I raised my face and looked Ironshod in the eyes. “Wait,” I said.
“For what?” Ironshod smirked.
“Let me read something. Anything.”
“I'm not falling for that one again.”
“Again?” I smirked. Then I fought, pushing against the unreality and forcing myself to wake up.
* * *
There I was in the darkness of my own room of the small inn on outskirts of Canterlot, in my bed, covered in sweat.
No, wait. I did go to the Gardens. I did try to get to Luna. How did I get back here? This is wrong!
“Give up.”
There was a movement in the corner, and Princess Luna emerged from the shadows. She had a rather ravenous smile on her face.
“Give me what I want, and I will let you wake up. Or wake up in another torture if you refuse.”
“You can't hurt me. This is just a dream.”
“But I can hurt her. “
Another shape came into my focus. She was there, in the corner of the room, bound and gagged again.
“Next time you wake up in another dream, I won't be there. You will wake up to realize I'm somewhere away, tormenting her. And you will be unable to stop me; you will run an endless plain or blunder through unending corridors and I won't be there. I will be away, making her regret she ever tried to travel the dreams of her subjects.”
“She's not the real one.” I shook my head.
"Then you won't mind me doing this..."
“NO!” I shouted before she got a chance to show me what “this” was.
“Good.”
“Why? Why are you doing this?”
“That's none of your business. Do me.”
She turned and flicked her tail to a side, exposing her vulva, winking at me.
“All right.” I said, then stood up from my bed.
The bound princess shook her head rapidly, protesting.
“Under one condition. You will set her free.”
“Oh, no. She's my hostage. You do my bidding, she remains bound and unhurt. You refuse, you both regret it.”
“Let me ask for advice...” I said. I approached the bound princess. I wished her gag gone and my wish became reality. I bent my neck to her. “Any brilliant ideas, princess?” I asked, with a sheepish smile.
She bowed her head to me.
“Fight. Wake up. In Somnis Veritas.”
Then she kissed my cheek. It wasn't that stunning kiss that made me faint. It was feeling too real, too normal, too “flesh and bones”, a real kiss of a real mare who did care about me.
I pushed against the fabrics of the world.
* * *
I woke up in the middle of a desert. Endless sand in all directions.
I pushed against the fabrics of the world.
* * *
I was in my room in my inn, in my bed. I stood up and pushed the door. I ran down the corridor; there was a turn. Another row of doors, another corridor. Another branch.
I stopped and pushed against the fabrics of the world
* * *
I woke up on the cot in the cell in the jail. I tried pushing at the fabric. Oh well, I tried.
I walked up to the bars, chains on my manacles ringing.
“Took your sweet time,” the crone at the desk screeched.
I turned rapidly. I bit my fetlock hard, very hard. I pulled, ripping a chunk of flesh. Blood gushed from the wound.
I pushed my wounded fetlock against the wall, and wrote in blood, in large strokes. “In Somnis...”
Before I got to writing the last word, my gaze tried to process what I wrote. “In Sombris.” “In Sonic.” “In Solis...”
I pushed against the fabrics of the world again, hard.
* * *
I was hanging on a rope half a mile above the bottom of the Gull Harbor.
I let go.
Then, before hitting the bottom, a thought struck.
I wished myself a pair of wings.
I flew up. There was a rain of flaming arrows from the tieflings on the walls of the fort. I wished to shield myself from them and the arrows exploded on the magical bubble of my shield harmlessly.
A horned demon threw a net at me, then pulled me down and killed me with an axe.
No, wrong, denied, I refuse to accept this sequence of events!
A horned demon threw a net at me. A flaming shield burned through the net and I soared down towards the door of the central building, where the captain of the fort dwelt.
I kicked the door hard and rushed inside.
And just as I expected, Princess Luna was there.
“Are you going to attack me?” she asked with a smirk.
“Khuzul, drop this pretense. Show your real form.”
“Why should I? You don't feel attracted to my real form the least bit.”
“Get out! Leave my mind! Begone!”
The demoness chuckled. “Give me one good reason.”
“Because then I may let you live.”
“You? You pathetic, gullible creature make threats against me? You couldn't hurt me if you tried.”
“But SHE can!”
“She's trapped and at my mercy, and you can't set her free. The shadow guard use very potent sedatives. You know that perfectly well. You are to sleep for a long time yet, and the things I can do to both of you before you can wake up... I can’t leave even if I wanted. You killed my physical body. I saved myself by hiding in your mind. Feed me until I can reform my own body, and I will leave on my own. Deny me and your precious princess will suffer.”
I pushed against the reality of the universe. I pushed harder than ever before. I struggled through a dozen of dreams until I encountered one that refused to yield.
* * *
In Somnis Veritas.
In Somnis Veritas.
In Somnis Veritas.
The ornate writing on the plaque on the wall opposite to my bed swam a little but didn't want to change. I pushed the blanket away and struggled to my legs against the heavy daze. I was so sleepy! But if this is the reality...
“Truth in dreams.” I knew the sentence. It didn't say dreams are true. It encouraged you to make your dreams come true. It was the motto of Luna's Elite Guard unit.
A simple, though sturdy and comfortable bed. A simple nightstand with a drawer and a lit oil lamp. A simple, tall wardrobe with a full weapon rack on the side, standard issue. A strong, low table and two pillows in dark blue linen pillowcases. I could recognize a standard single room in barracks of the Shadow Guard. The only thing out of the ordinary was the plaque with the motto.
I moved to the door. I pushed it open.
The hall of the barracks was bustling with activity of guards talking, training, busy with common occupations. One of them stopped, seeing me. She was a young yellow mare in Luna's Elite armor.
“Hello, Shadow Step. I'm Lemon Slice, and I guess we'll be seeing each other a lot. The princess asked to tell you to see her as soon as you wake up. It seems she slept in today; that's fairly unusual for her but there didn't seem to be any reasons to wake her up tonight. She's upstairs.” The mare pointed to a staircase at the end of the hall.
...oh?
“Come on, I'm sure she will explain everything. Go, don't make her wait!”
I nodded and trotted briskly up the curving stairs through a wide tower, two floors up. The wide landing in front of the tall double doors with motifs of the princess of the night was occupied by one of her guards and a unicorn butler pushing a cart with a couple fancy plate covers. As I approached the door, the butler stopped me. “You have to wait. Her Majesty just woke up and I need to tend to her before she begins her...”
“Nope,” the guard at the door shook his head. “Her Majesty made it perfectly clear she wants to see this one as soon as he regains consciousness, no delays. Come on, Shadow Step, she's expecting you.”
“Does everypony know me here?” I frowned.
“I certainly don't and I don't care...” the butler wheeling the cart towards the door scoffed, but the guard cut him off.
“The Shadow 'Demon Slayer' Step? The guy who took the whole Black Frost Forest leading a team of twenty and without a single casualty? It's an honor, sir. The princess awaits.” He pushed the door open for me, while standing in the way of the cart.
The room was basking in morning light falling through tall open windows. It was nothing like the luxurious, dim, dark study in my dreams. Tall, white walls were decorated with big paintings, some landscapes of Equestria and some modern abstractions. A glass table sat low in the center of the room, surrounded by a ring of pillows. A minimal desk, more like a lectern stood by the near wall. A huge “sleeping pit” occupied the other end of the room, consisting of a round depression in the floor padded in soft plush, surrounded by curtains of pastel muslin, with lots of pillows big and small, and at least three comforters scattered disorderly. The plaque, In Somnis Veritas, same as in the barracks, was hanging on the wall nearest to the sleeping place. There was a slim, tall vanity mirror, a dresser, and a narrow, lean, tastefully decorated wardrobe clearly too small to hide a pony. And in front of the mirror was Luna, the morning filly, whose sight filled my heart with joy.
She wasn't regal or royal or noble at all. She was incredibly cute instead, struggling with a brush through her long bright blue mane which displayed some extreme “morning mane syndrome”, with several puffs of star-like deep blue everflow sticking from the few places where she managed to get it brushed.
She noticed me, and opened her mouth in a voiceless “Oh!”
“I'm sorry if I came too early. I will leave at once, Your Majesty!” I bowed.
“No, no, no!” she waved her hoof. “Please, take a seat.” She pointed to the table. “The butler should bring breakfast any moment now, and... would you care to share it with me?”
There was something in her question, in her gaze — hope and fear.
“I would be delighted, Your Majesty.”
“I'm sorry for my disheveled state. I had hoped to wake up well ahead of you but as you surely recall... things didn't go entirely according to plan...” She looked at the hairbrush, then put it on the dresser with a frustrated sigh. She trotted to the table and sat on the other side.
“Your majesty,” I bowed a little, “I'm begging your forgiveness for my disrespectful behavior and for...” I struggled for words. Luna blushed and cast a spooked look towards me from under her disheveled mane that momentarily hid her face.
“Let us not talk about that for now,” she muttered, embarrassed. “Let me just assure you sincerely that I don't hold any of your actions against you. Quite opposite, I'm begging your forgiveness for invading the privacy of your dreams...”
“Oh, you surely realize you are more than a most welcome guest in them.”
Her blush deepened. “You are too kind. I have failed badly. I let a demon surprise and trap me, I didn't realize the nature of the threat even after the fact, and in the end I became a hindrance instead of aid in your battle.”
“When the demon killed my hope and my faith, you gave me strength to fight. I would have never won without your help.”
“You would never get in this kind of trouble without my meddling.”
“Excuse me, princess, but I am the only one to take the blame for sneaking through the Canterlot Gardens and getting myself shot with a tranquilizer dart that prevented me from waking up when things got worse. Without you I would likely just keep feeding the demon until she'd achieve her goal, whatever it was...”
“Taking possession of your body after consuming your soul.”
“Then your intervention truly saved me in the long run.”
“Thank you for your kind words. I just wish I handled this better...” She looked around impatiently. “Where is that butler?” she muttered.
“Oh, he's just outside, probably waiting for us to finish.”
Luna scoffed, then used her magic to open the door. “Bring that food in!” she waved her hoof.
The stallion quickly approached contents of the cart were placed on the table, and the covers removed from the ornate silver trays, revealing all too little of everything, while the unicorn presented the fancy names of the dishes.
Luna stopped him. “Thank you for the nice appetizers, but where is my breakfast?”
“Princess, this is your breakfast.”
“I appreciate your sense of humor. Now bring me my breakfast, and another one for my esteemed guest.”
“But princess, I am not joking, this is a...”
“No buts. The size of the breakfast I requested was calculated to satisfy both me and any unannounced guests I might be having. Whoever took liberties with my requested menu put me in a very uncomfortable position. This,” she pointed her hoof at the six or so bites in fancy forms scattered around the table, “is an unacceptable violation of the diplomatic protocol, and will be dealt with accordingly unless remedied in a timely manner. I expect two healthy, tasty and nutritious meals of at least six hundred calories each in front of us in at most five minutes.” Luna reached with her magic to her desk and brought a hourglass to the table. She flipped it and placed on the table rather hard. “Time starts now.”
“But princess!”
“Do I have to explain what ‘dealt with accordingly’ means? Every single pony contributing to this diplomatic blunder directly or indirectly, through action or inaction will be discharged on disciplinary grounds with a permanent record, fined and barred from any work in the public sector for life. I suggest you cease stalling and start fulfilling my request now.”
The butler stood for three seconds more, opening and closing his mouth voicelessly, then he turned and ran.
“There”, she sighed, pushing the door closed with her magic, then moving half of the tiny plates to my side of the table. “I hope this does the trick.”
“That was scary,” I gasped a little.
“Oh...” she sunk in a little. “I'm usually... less... only when I'm stressed...”
“No, no, princess! That was quite impressive. I mean, you're very efficient in dealing with insubordination.”
“It's not what I meant... I mean, not what I intended... or implied...” she fiddled with her hooves. “I mean, I didn't want... didn't intend to imply anything.”
“I think I understand. No making connections with my incident with Lieutenant Ironshod, right?”
“I really wish I could officially clean you of all charges. But there are things... dependencies... diplomacy is such an ugly thing...”
“Can you clean me of these charges unofficially?”
She smiled to me. “I already did. You wouldn't be sitting here otherwise.”
“Thank you. This is more than satisfactory for me.” I replied.
We sat for a while in uncomfortable silence.
“Won't you try some hors d'oeuvre?” she nodded towards the tiny pieces of food.
I tried picking the dainty little silver fork with my both hooves. I managed after the third try. I managed to get some fancy pastry boat with cheese sail on a saltsette mast and the hull filled with some fancy cream on the fourth try.
Luna giggled a little, then covered her mouth, scared. I began sweating, lifting the odd thing to my mouth carefully.
“No, please. I'm sorry.” she said in an apologetic tone. “I didn't want to make you embarrassed. Let us forget one of us has a horn.” She took the fork off my hooves with her magic, shook the fancy morsel off it, then collected all utensils and sent them with her magic at the ceiling, where they stuck... next to, as I noticed, multiple holes that could have been made by similar utensils in the past.
Luna lifted her own plate with both hooves, then bowed a little to it and swept a figurine of a buffalo made of mushrooms and vegetables into her mouth. She gave me a little mischievous smile while munching on the piece of art.
I bowed to my plate and took the boat in one bite. I had to admit, tiny as it was (and considered one full course!) it was rather tasty.
We munched on the tiny morsels for a moment. Luna got a drinking straw from somewhere and put it in the single glass of orange juice she left in the middle of the table, next to the one straw that was in it already. We both bowed to take a drink at the same time. We stopped, retreating. We laughed and bowed to the glass again together, taking the drink together, our noses inches apart. I could see her beautiful turquoise eyes and her little smile as we sipped the drink.
Of course the glass was far too small and we got to the bottom in a matter of seconds, the straws making that slurping noise.
The door burst open, spooking us both as the butler raced in with a cart loaded with two plates loaded with piles of daisy sandwiches and two tall glasses of fruit yogurt. He stopped, breathlessly.
“Do you like daisy sandwiches?” Luna asked me.
“They are my favorite.”
“I'm glad to hear that. I love daisy sandwiches.”
She waved to the sweating butler to leave the plates in front of us, and he trotted to the table. The plates shook in his magical grip a bit and rang as they landed on the table — by the looks of his attire I could guess he fought quite a battle in the kitchen.
“Is that all, Your Majesty?” He bowed to Luna.
“Yes, this is satisfactory. Just please make sure this doesn’t happen again.”
“Yes, Your Majesty”. He scuttled to the exit, taking both carts in the tow. Even before the door closed we held the sandwiches with our hooves and munched on them for a good while.
Luna licked her lips and sat up, trying to take a somewhat more regal pose. She was not too successful at that considering the state of her mane, clearing her throat.
“Commander Shadow Step...”
“Oh, just sergeant, if even that.”
“Commander Shadow Step, and if I'm saying Commander, this is effective immediately, following retroactive revocation of the acceptance of your discharge. You are hereby drafted into the Elite Shadow Guard. If you still wish to resign, you are free to reapply for discharge or transfer, and it will be accepted, although I sincerely hope you will not, as your qualifications are quite outstanding.”
“Yes, ma'am!” Suddenly my heart jumped. “I will not fail you!”
“Then let me give you a briefing on your duties. This information is top secret, so act accordingly. The structures, role and tasks of the Elite Shadow Guard, commonly known as my personal guard, are shrouded in secrecy for a reason. We are a secret task force, and if I'm saying 'we', I mean myself too. We are acting under the guise of a bodyguard formation for the princess, but you are under no obligation of protecting me any more than you are under obligation of protecting your direct superior in any level of the army. The formal structure is extremely simple. I'm your direct superior and then there is everypony in the guard, equal. They vary in military rank which is to designate merits and experience, but not the chain of command. If any more fine-grained chain of command is ever required I create it on an ad-hoc basis and dissolve once the necessity is past.
“In Somnis Veritas is not a statement of fact, but a statement of our double mission. We — primarily I — find hints of threats in dreams of my citizens. We face and neutralize these threats, whether here, in the real world, or in the dream world. We fish out grains of dangerous truths in dreams and use them to locate actual threats. That's our primary activity. The other part of the job is more benign. We locate good, worthy dreams and make them come true.”
“That's an extremely noble mission, your majesty! I'll be proud to be a part it.”
“Now for the other matter... I found your dreams, while troubled, and troubling, worthy of following. The threat present in them will be neutralized, make no mistake. My earlier error won't happen again and you'll have an opportunity to witness the deadly precision of your soon-to-be companions. Now for making your dreams true...” She blushed a little again, “I hardly know you beyond reports and soldier tales. I like what I have seen so far but I am definitely not ready to fulfill your dreams yet. Still, I'm willing... actually, quite enthusiastic about trying to develop this into something more advanced and maybe eventually... I mean, I am on very friendly terms with all of my Elite Guard, but I'm quite aware none of them share this degree... Oh, wait. I'm rambling, aren't I?”
My heart didn't flutter. It was pounding heavily. She was more wonderful than I ever imagined! Say something! Say something, stupid! You can fight demons, but you can't ask the mare of your dreams on a date! How to phrase it?! Simply! Simply will do.
I found the tongue in my mouth and said it.
“Princess Luna...” I smiled. “Are you free this evening? I would like to ask you out for a date.”
“Oh... yes!” she clapped her hooves. “How should I dress?”
My gaze wandered up and encountered the utensils stuck in the ceiling.
“How do you feel about informal? Very informal?”
“Yes!” she shouted out enthusiastically.