But Wait...There's More!

by McPoodle

Epilogue

Another Sun had set, another Moon had risen, and Princess Celestia was trying to get the last of the curls out of her mane before getting a well-deserved beauty rest. She was also examining a spot next to her left eye that was irritating her for no good reason.

There was a knock at the door. “Tia, we need to talk.”

“Come in, Sister,” said Celestia, scratching absently at the spot next to her eye with the edge of one hoof.

She took one look at Princess Luna and fell to the floor, laughing out loud. From the ground she tried to point, and fell to laughing some more. “Wh...where did you get that thing?” she finally gasped.

“A present from Pinkie Pie,” said Luna. In the middle of her forehead, right beneath the horn, was the cutest little third eye that you could possibly imagine. Its iris was the exact same shade of rose-magenta as Pinkie Pie’s mane. “I wore it to the reading of my port tax bill. It’s too bad you weren’t there to see it.”

Celestia climbed to her hooves. “You didn’t!” she exclaimed in dismay.

“I did. I made sure to mention that I had computed my figures while under the influence of Miss Scratch’s invention. Then I started doing this to random senators...”

A beam of reddish light slowly emerged from the third eye and made its way to Celestia’s forehead, winking on and off to create a dotted-line effect. At the same time, the eye itself made the following noise: “Da-na-na-na-na-na!”

Celestia fell over and began laughing again. “You...you really shouldn’t have done that!” she managed to get out. “Defying me in public like that. But still...bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!”

Luna used her magic to pop the fake eye off of her head and levitate it to a nearby table. “I then explained the device to them and told my so-called ‘victims’ to stop trying to scrub their foreheads with bleach. Afterwards, the press asked me about the story that started this mess. I told them I had recently discovered it. As for you, sister, I told them that you don’t have time to refute every statement a foalish editor might put in your mouth. After all, wasn’t modern society more knowing in these matters than the one I left behind so long ago? The next hour saw a mad run on Trottmans and compact discs, and I hear that a whole train is being commandeered to bring more product up from Fillydelphia.” The lunar princess sighed. “Of course, it now looks like our little ponies are trying to buy Trottmans to look good in our eyes, instead of shunning them to look good in our eyes. Sometimes I wonder if we’ll ever succeed in this ‘free will’ business after all.”

Celestia nodded. “Those Ponyville ponies are a bad influence on you, sister.”

“Tia,” Luna protested, “I was going to expose the truth today anyway. Pinkie Pie simply provided a humorous way for me to do it.”

“And what about the prophesy?” asked Tia, one hoof wandering up on its own accord to scratch near her eye again.

“You don’t have to worry about that anymore. I pushed Comet Anheuser into the Sun last night, moving the solar minimum out by three years and six months.”

Celestia looked between the raised hoof and her sister. “So that was you?”

Luna nodded.

“Do you realize what you have done?”

“I believe I just invalidated one inconvenient prophesy. Now anything can happen, and you’re free to do anything you want about Vinyl Scratch...and Prince Steadfast.”

Celestia sighed. “He has been incredibly annoying lately, hasn’t he? Oh, I know, I’ll make him our ambassador to the Northern Sea Dragon delegation. He’ll have to spend the next decade or so sailing that silly yacht of his back and forth in the icy wastes. We can let him stay in Castle by the Sea.”

“Do you think that’s safe?” Luna asked with some trepidation.

“That place has been abandoned for so long that it’s become suspicious. Some pony would have stumbled across it eventually. With Steadfast living there, there’s absolutely no chance that its secret will be revealed—that unicorn wouldn’t recognize a true mystery of the cosmos if it put extra cutie marks on both his shoulders.”

“I suppose that CD Pinkie Pie brought around earlier put the idea into your head?” asked Luna.

“Where else?” replied Celestia. “Now let’s get back on track. You don’t actually think you can overthrow a prophesy just by throwing a rock at it!”

“It’s not just a rock, it was your birthday present to me 4300 years ago! And yes, I do think you can overthrow a prophesy that easily, because it’s been done before.”

“It has?”

“What about the Hamite prophesy?” asked Luna, referring to a recently-completed and rather unfortunate piece of business from a month earlier. “That prophesy got one of the four ponies wrong.”

“That’s right!” exclaimed Celestia. “Why didn’t that ring any alarm bells at the time?”

“That’s not the only one,” Luna said, removing a scroll from her saddlebag. “I have a list of over fifty prophesies that have been altered in the last few decades. Most of the prophesies, and the changes, have been small enough for us to miss before now, but at least three were completely overturned.”

“Do you know when this started?” Celestia asked, the answer already suggesting itself to her.

“Well, the earliest I could find was in 6963.”

Celestia’s eyes narrowed. “Sister, there is only one force other than ourselves that would dare to challenge a prophesy, and put the very fate of Equestria in jeopardy on little more than a whim.”

“Who, Sister? Who would dare to do this?”

“Time Ponies.”

My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic is copyright Hasbro, with due respects to Lauren Faust for her brilliant re-imagining of the franchise. Most of the characters in the story are borrowed from that source. Doctors Three and Four and their companions are from the program Doctor Who and are the property of the BBC. The Perturb family are pastiches of characters from the series Invader Zim, created by Jhonen Vasquez and property of Nickelodeon. Sundance, Hoyden, Abacus and part of the character of Luna come from the Progress series of fanfictions by Andrew J. Talon. Crack Shot, Check Mate, Nomde Plume and Storm Stunner are from the fanfic “In Her Majesty’s Royal Service”, by Sagebrush. Mentar is from the Mentar the Magnificent Merchant of Magical Mixtures series by Quell (which really needs to be added to FimFiction.net someday). “The Hamite Prophesy” is a reference to the fanfiction “One Last Quest”, by Vanner. The phrase “THERE’S NO TIME” is 100 % owned by the fanfic series Michael Bay Presents: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic by Cold in Gardez. The fandom pretty much owns “Trollestia”. Finally, Uncle Philo, Prince Steadfast, the Telegraph family, Oars In Wells, Blue Bubbles and the rest of the RIAT cast, Kappa Cider, Judge Keen, Kong Fun, TEDS, and sundry company and etheric show names are my creations, as are the interpretations of everybody else’s intellectual properties (meaning it’s entirely my fault if I screwed them up). The songs “Technologic” and “Derezzed” are by Daft Punk (with PMV of the latter by Mr. Yaridovich), “The Fear” is by Lily Allen. The song played by Octavia (“Avast Octavia’s Plot”) is by makkon06, and DJ Pon-3’s big number is really by Danny Elfman, from the soundtrack of the first Mission: Impossible movie. “Da-na-na-na-na-na!” references Bill Cosby’s “Go Carts” skit.

And finally, anyone who hasn’t yet should watch Nina Paley’s excellent animated film Sita Sings the Blues.