The Skyla Pseudonym
by iisaw
Sequel to The Celestia Code, The Luna Cypher, The Twilight Enigma, and The Cadenza Prophecies
Chapter One
The Heart of the Problem
I love my darling niece with all my heart, but….
When she was my little Furry Burry and I was her Auntie Twi-wi everything between us was simple and delightful. But foals grow up, and the only known natural-born alicorn, Her Exalted Imperial Highness, Heir Crystalline, Princess Flurry Heart had some difficult[1] phases in her teenage years.
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[1] That isn't the precise word I want, but there is no good word in Equuish for the concept of constantly dancing on the knife edge of catastrophe, so it will have to suffice.
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The heart of the problem wasn't something terribly unusual in teenage ponies, or teenagers of any other sapient species for that matter. Rebelliousness is a perfectly natural way for a young pony to begin to form a personality and interests separate from those of her parents. Experimentation with outré music, clothing, and such-like is usually harmless, no matter how irritating it might be. Usually harmless.
Unfortunately, Flurry wasn't a typical teenager. She was the most powerful natural sorceress in recorded history, and inextricably bound to the Heart of the Crystal Empire by destiny, blood, and magic. Her connection to the Crystal Heart that literally sustained the Empire and fed the gentle magic of the Pax Equestria, made her emotional instability a matter of grave concern to everyone in the entire hemisphere, and I'm afraid that the unfortunate direction her rebelliousness took was at least partially my fault.
I suppose I should explain.
With some modifications to the spellwork, the intra-dimensional warped space that King Sombra had added to the Crystal Palace made a fairly secure place to store sensitive material, and Cadance kindly let me use it to squirrel away some of the books, scrolls, and artifacts that I aquired on my travels.
The space had the added benefit that it was convenient for Sunburst when he wanted to do research. He was unable to cast the dark magic required to reveal the hidden archive, but I provided him with a précis of each document I added to the collection, and he called on me to retrieve any particular item he wished to study.
It was on one of these occasions, when she was still my little Furry Burry, that I exposed my niece to a side of me she had never seen before. I had come to the Empire straight over the pole from the west coast of Zebrica to lessen the chance of being ambushed by pirates, while pushing my airship Nebula's engines hard to make sure I wasn't being pursued. The item I was intent on sealing away had caused a great deal of trouble, and several ill-intentioned individuals would be more than eager to get their hooves, claws, or hands on it.
I had learned from hard experience not to dilly-dally before containing such things, and so, immediately upon arrival, I moored Nebula directly to the Crystal Palace and marched into the throne room looking more like a back-alley thug than the Princess of Friendship. I was in aeronaut half-armor, goggles askew on my forehead, mane and tail whipped into tangles by high-altitude winds, wearing my two trusty and battered short blades slung across my barrel.
Unbeknownst to me, Flurry Heart had made a fort on the dais behind the throne with some tapestries, a hoofstool and a couple of ceremonial trumpets, and was involved in a whispered conversation with the nuzzled-to-rags plush bear that Fluttershy had given her. Separated by the throne, we couldn't see each other, but Flurry could certainly hear the boom of the throne room doors being flung open and my clanking hoofsteps. She must have peered around the throne just in time to see my eyes suddenly blaze with dark power and the hidden stairway stand revealed by the black miasma that boiled from my horn.
I hadn't yet dropped the dark magic matrix when a half dozen Crystal Guardponies rushed into the room in response to Flurry's scream of fear, and so I'm sure my appearance was more than enough justification for their unhesitating attack. There were several seconds of confusion before I had gotten them all—including the two who had fallen into the open pit—subdued and securely wrapped in my magical grasp, and was blurting out a hurried explanation. Somewhere in there, Cadance teleported into the room, stuffed her daughter under one wing and teleported away.
As you might imagine, several awkward apologies and explanations to several different groups of ponies occupied most of the rest of my day. The most important of all, of course, was with Flurry Heart herself.
I cleaned up and put on my crown before meeting Cadance, Shining, and Flurry in their private apartments. Little Flurry had been given a light supper and had settled in next to her mother with a mug of hot cocoa in the parlor. Her parents had told her I would be coming and that I was Auntie Twi-wi, and not that scary thing she had seen in the throne room. She was still doubtful, but at least she didn't burst into tears when I made my appearance.
In fact, her reaction, given a few hours to think about the incident, surprised us all.
After I had settled in and said my soft and totally non-threatening hellos to everypony, Flurry wormed her way out from under her mother's wing, trotted over to me, pressed her soft little nose against mine, and frowned in that adorable manner that only completely serious small foals can manage.
"You scared me, Auntie Twi-wi!" She stomped a tiny forehoof that made no sound at all on the plush carpet.
"I know, and I'm very, very sorry, Furry Burry! I didn't mean to. You know I would never, ever hurt you, right?"
Still frowning, she said, "I guess. But you looked super-scary. Like a bad old monster."
No armor could have protected my heart from that barb. I winced. Monsters were real. We all knew that, and ponies who tried to deny the fact did their foals no service.
"Sometimes good ponies can look like monsters. You know how Auntie Luna plays pretend on Nightmare Night?"
She looked at me for a moment and then said, "You weren't pretending."
Ouch. Second touch to Flurry Heart. Cadance gave me a particular version of the stink-eye that suggested I turn the conversation around right now.
"I—I have to fight monsters sometimes. They're strong and scary, so sometimes I have to be strong and scary to stop them. I just forgot to… uhm… to be not scary when I got here."
Her frown became one of puzzlement and I let her think about it, while grinning apologetically at her parents. They didn't smile back.
Flurry poked me in the chest with a dainty hoof to get my attention. "Mummy and daddy are the strongest and bravest ponies in the world. They said they will save me from any monsters. They said I have a whole bunch of guards to help keep me safe."
I sighed with relief. "That's right, Furry Burry; they will always keep you safe."
She frowned again. "You stopped all those guards. They couldn't even move."
Oh roadapples. Third touch and match to the diminutive Princess Flurry Heart.
I made a distressed sort of gugh noise as Shiny winced and Cadance glared. "I… uh… they...uh…"
Ever gracious in victory, my niece suddenly reared and threw her forelegs around as much of my neck as she could. "That means you gotta be Monster Twi-wi for me an' help fight all the bad monsters and did you bring me back a present from Zebrica?"
She was delighted with the little mechanical elephant, and I was not banished from the Crystal Empire.
One must savour narrow escapes as well as victories.
= = =
That day may have seemed like a small incident, but it was the turning point in my relationship with my niece. Sometime thereafter, Flurry added a set of guard ponies to her collection of toys and appropriated their armor to use on my doll from her Equestrian Royals figure set.[2]
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[2] I've always been vaguely embarrassed by the toys (or "collectable action figures" as Spike calls them) based on myself and my friends, but I suppose they are no worse than some of the hyperbolic works in the Royal Portrait Gallery.
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To add veracity to her make-believe sessions, Flurry began asking all sorts of inconvenient questions about my adventures. I quite correctly discussed with Cadance what would be appropriate to share with her daughter, though the look I received as an immediate answer was a more helpful guide than the rest of the discussion. I tried to stick to travelogue-style descriptions of foreign lands and peoples, but Flurry would inevitably ask something along the lines of, "Were they bad people? Did you fight them?"
I carefully explained to her that there was no such thing as a bad race or culture, and that only individuals could be considered bad, and only if they consistently persisted in bad behavior.
Thereafter, her massive toy battles were fought only against creatures that had consistently persisted in bad behavior. Well, it was something.[3]
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[3] And Spike getting Flurry a toy aero-dreadnought for her birthday took a lot of the heat off of me, even though I was a bit miffed that she obviously appreciated it far more than the puzzle box I brought her from Abyswhinnia.
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= = =
Flurry's fantasy adventures came to a sudden halt after the battle against Grogar. The appearance of an ancient evil being intent on the destruction of Equestria was a shock to everypony, but it had happened before and the Equestrians are a strong and resilient bunch. After the struggle and devastation, they cleaned up and went on with their lives.
SPOILER for The Cadenza Prophecies:
But Cadance had been directly involved in the fight and instrumental in Grogar's defeat.[4] We kept Flurry safe, as promised, but we were unable to keep her from witnessing the brutality and hard truths involved in fighting real monsters.
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[4] A popularized account of the incident can be found in the novel The Cadenza Prophecies. It is fiction, but the details of all the major events are correct, if simplified for the sake of readability.
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This spoiler block will remain in place until The Cadenza Prophecies has been completely released.
Flurry Heart didn't seem unduly anxious or fearful after the event, but her imaginative play took a disturbing turn. After Cadance found several of her daughter's toy figures disfigured and broken, she asked her what had happened.
Flurry replied with uncharacteristic petulance. "They're just dumb toys. I didn't like them, anyway." And she refused to say anything further about it.
Cadance arranged a meeting with Luna and me. Luna, because she hoped to get some more information via the Dream Realm, and me because she somehow got it into her head that I was an expert on abnormal psychology. Or personally experienced in the subject. Or something.
"Well," I said, holding up one of the trampled toys, "this is a little goat that she went to the trouble of painting black before smashing. It's clearly supposed to be Grogar."
"May he rot in Tartarus," Cadance growled.
I ignored her curse and went on. "I think Flurry's just trying to express some sort of retroactive control over a situation where she felt helpless. Perfectly understandable."
"To her credit," Luna put in, "she was most fearful of losing you and Shining Armor, not for her own safety. She occasionally has nightmares, but they are mild, and I intervene quickly when they occur."
Cadance frowned. "But she's broken some of her favorite toys as well. Ones that are… well, good ponies."
Luna and I exchanged a glance, and that brought a smile to Cadance's face. "No," Cadance said, "they were guards and some dress-up mares. All the princess figures still have a place of honor on the shelf above her bed. You two have nothing to worry about."
We pretended that we weren't inordinately relieved by the news.
"Give it some time," I told Cadance. "I'm sure she will be just fine. She's growing up quickly and soon she'll be more interested in boys than toys."
Luna grinned and said, sotto voce, "Or girls."
Cadance's eyes widened. "Do you know something—"
"No, no!" Luna hurried to reassure her. "She hasn't had any of those dreams yet. But it won't be long before she does, I believe."
Cadance sighed and rolled her eyes. "Then it will be Shiny I have to worry about trampling things!"
= = =
And, indeed, Flurry's destructive behavior was only another phase that she quickly outgrew as she matured into an accomplished and beautiful young filly with much more worrisome phases.
The appearance of her cutie mark, a blue crystal heart overlaid by golden swirls representing magic, was a wonderful climax to the 243rd Crystal Fair, and reassured her family that her destiny was secure.
Cadance relaxed, and her husband turned into one big knot of worry.
Shining Armor threatened each of the Crystal Guard personally and individually with dire consequences should any lowly soldier dare to even look at his daughter, the princess, in "that way."
Yes, my darling brother turned into quite the hypocrite, as I never got tired of pointing out to him.
"Just you wait until you have a daughter of your own, Twi!" he rumbled at me after a particularly pointed teasing session. "You'll… oh, wait. Uhm… I guess you won't ever… uhm…" His pale coat was absolutely worthless at hiding a blush.
"Oh, we've no plans at the moment, but I've come across some very interesting old spells that would make it possible," I said, twisting the knife he had stabbed himself with. "In fact, they sound like fun, even if they don't…"
He fled before he had quite achieved the same coat color as Pinkie Pie.
It was easy to find the situation humorous when I wasn't personally involved, but that didn't last long.
= = =
"Oh, Aunt Twilight!" Flurry Heart called to me as I came to a landing on a Crystal Palace balcony about a month after her fourteenth birthday. "I'm so glad you could come!"
"I got your message and came right away." As I hugged her, I couldn't help realizing that she had gotten quite a bit taller than me without my noticing.[5]
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[5] Not counting her amazingly long horn, of course. By that measure, she had overtopped me sometime around age eleven.
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"I hate to bother you," she said as she broke off the hug and smiled down(!) at me. "But this is really important and personal, and I just don't feel comfortable discussing it with Mother."
Uh-oh. I was certain that Cadance must have given her The Talk by then. Why was she coming to me?
"You can talk with me about anything, Flurry! You know that." I replied, mentally steeling myself. "But surely, your mother…"
She sighed and glanced over her back at the towering spire of the Crystal Palace. "If I was a normal filly, maybe. But I'm not, Twilight! I'm the Little Princess, heir to the Empire, and so stifled by protocol and manners and what's expected of me by a thousands ponies who don't even know me, that I feel like I'm being strangled sometimes." She tossed her head, and her nostrils flared in anger. "If I hear, 'nice fillies don't do that,' one more time, I swear I'll scream! And I don't care if mother has to glue the accursed Crystal Heart back together again or not!"
I suppressed a sigh and promised myself that I would help my niece no matter how awkward or troublesome it might be. "It'll be alright, Flurry. I will do whatever I can for you. And I think you'll find that ponies who pontificate about what nice fillies do or do not do are usually dreadfully mistaken."
She threw her forelegs around me again and squealed in happiness. "Oh, I knew you'd understand, Twilight! I love you so much!"
"I love you, too, my darling niece," I replied, feeling warm all the way down to my hooves. "Now let's go inside and you can ask me your questions."
"Well, I don't have a lot of questions, actually," she said as we walked together into the palace. "I've read everything about it I could get my hooves on. What I really need is a mare with experience." She glanced shyly at me from the corner of her eye. "Somepony who knows, you know?"
All the dry, mechanical advice I had been mentally preparing evaporated. "Uhm… what, exactly—"
She turned to me, blushing slightly. "I want you to teach me; to train me. I want to be better than any other mare, ever!"
I froze. "Uh… that may not be—"
"Oh, I know you're busy and couldn't spend all your time with me! But I know a few other ponies here who aren't too afraid of Daddy to help me practice. And I've heard that Rarity is really good, so maybe you could ask her if she could help me sometimes, too? Yes, Daddy's going to be a bit upset, but he'll get over it. Oh yeah, I forgot! I've saved up to buy all the proper equipment, but I wanted to wait until you could tell me the right things to get."
"Things?" I managed to get out.
"Yes," Flurry said, looking at me questioningly. "I need to get it all fitted, right? And I've always heard that the best fencers always get their blades custom-made."
Blades? Oh, sweet Sun and Moon, blades! A huge wave of relief washed over me. Flurry just wanted me to teach her how to kill ponies with a sword.
On a moment's reflection, my relief began to wane.
= = =
=
*snifling*
You beautiful bastard, iisaw
OH HELL YES.
HERE WE GO AGAIN.
~Skeeter The Lurker
I bet Spike's got all of them, including the rare Scorpan figure.
Was the way to challenge insanely powerful, reckless protagonists - to curse them with responsibility for younger versions of themselves?
Dude.
Huh, an interesting start of things.
Hoping it doesnt end up as the luna story did for me, and having to set it down for immersion breaking reasons.
Alright, so Skyla's feeling a bit rebellious and a call for adventure and wants to follow Auntie Twilight. Let's hope her adolescent rebellious phase goes better then Twilight's did. Please Skyla.. let's NOT nearly cause the extermination of the entire world.....
D'awwwwwwww That is so CUTE!!!! So, another fic all from Twi's perspective? that could work, have her keep tabs on Flurry, agree to take her on a trip, a grand pirate adventure, but be around to watch over her. Be interesting to see how Twi handles this given her revelations about the best way to lead, to be just stay out of ponies ways, protect them from what they can't protect themselves from, and just let them figure out the rest themselves.. with maybe a few gentle nudges now and then. Be almost the perfect way to deal with a rebellious youth.
Also adorable!
..... Well, given how thing were, guessing Tia and Luna weren't 'born' per se, more 'created'.
With title that long... yeah that's just asking for her to cause trouble.
Hmmmmm.... maybe "Twilight Sparkleish?" I mean, if anypony knows what THAT is like it's you afterall.
So Teen years.. figure when the trilogy takes place... about upper single digits after those events?
Yes.... so long as you don't go through that phase after getting enough personal power to end the world... right Twilight? But yeah.... more this goes on, more.. Twilight really does feel like a perfect choice to help Skyla through this.
MARY SUE! OP! PLZ NERF!!!
Twilight....... way to go Twilight, you go and nearly break the world.... AGAIN! But... ohhhh really like that aspect, didn't consider that, that her being connected to the Heart, and how it reacts to Emotions would mean some pretty bad feedback between the two and cause issues..... yeah that can kind of be a problem. Also... poor Twilight, even after learning her lesson, she's still having to do damage control for past Twilight.
And then Flurry Burry found them and thought they were SO COOL! (Seriously I love that name!)
Damnit story, you are going to make me go use google to learn something aren't you?
Twilight... why couldn't you have just said a 'summary'? Oh right.. because you are Twilight Sparkle, Super-Nerd!
Well.. so she still going on being a Pirate even after all that... or given "Back when she was still Flurry Burry" this just happen way back during that year of Pirate Queen Twilight?
"I only sank ONE ancient legendary city below the waves because of taking to long. But in my defense the Atlantean bazaar had this REALLY amazing street performers guild that was putting on a show. "
Not "Fort Book"? Guess this IS before she starts taking after Auntie Twi-Twi.
This had better be back during her 'phase' for her to be doing stuff like this.... otherwise she should have learned better....
"THAT WAS SO COOL!"
Seriously story... so.. much... D'awwwwww ar you trying to to give us diabetes!? To...sweet.. and cute.. and adorable!
Okay.. but to be fair... most ponies don't encounter monsters able to destroy the world and/or enslave populations every few months like you seem to Twi.
And then you just saw just how effective they are when Autnie Twi-wi took them out in what I am assuming was something akin to ten seconds flat.
Smart foal. Very perceptive.
Again D'awwwwww seriulsy you are writing her so damn ADORABLY! Just... so.. so....so.... Now to see that turn into spoiled, surly teen angst Flurry Heart....
Do they have 'kung-fu grip? But.... 'action figures' of the mane 6....I can so believe that.... now the real question.. how many of her own figure does Dash have? Per room.
Foals got a one track mind, and I cannot blame her, who wouldn't want to hear all the cool, exciting adventures Auntie-Twi gets up to rather then boring, stuffy geography and history lessons you get from your tutors?
Very, VERY smart move Twi, and very good, also, very Pony... I love this.. and love that Twi was very specific to make this clear... good show, way to be Princess of Friendship!.. Whiling regaling her with stories about you was "The Pirate Queen of Kicking Flank"
Oh I've missed your style of writing... so damn good.
... the wha? Awwwwww we have to deal with an off scene battle of epicness? BOOOOO!!!!! I take back all the good things I've said so far story..... okay, I take back like.. .01% of them.
Yup, like every two or three years. Pony homeowners insurance has got to be the biggest market ever. By this point, most schools and business probably don't even bother closing unless the school /office itself gets stepped on.. it's like snow up north, it's no excuse for taking a day off, best case, you won't get yelled at for being a bit late because of it.
Story...... stop being a plot tease!
Oh..... ow.... yeah this.... not a good turn.... being a bit traumatized.. that might have been better, more directly, visibly effected, if this hit her on a deeper, more subtle level... yeah that's going to be a LOT harder to deal with.. especially if it doesn't really show up till later.
Gee... wherever would she get an idea like that?
Granted, could lead to Twilight thinking she knows more then she really does and coming out with this cliche based on general ideas rather then getting to the true core of the issue. Granted, could be part of it.
Define 'intervene'. If it's just ending them quickly, not letting her go through that.. that might not actually be the best thing.. since it's not giving her a chance to confront those fears. Now more like what you did with the CMC.... very much yes.
Trying to deal with the realization that sometimes good ponies get hurt too and work out the issues of having to face that after always thinking good ponies always are safe and win because they are good?
Also very well done, little bit of levity to end it off, they are concerned, and there is something not quite right but, far as they can tell it's just something minor she needs to work through, everything seems overall fine just, keep an eye out, and defuse that amount of tension.. because we, knowing this is a story and hence bound to the Laws of Narrative Causality, know it's going to be far bigger deal then they think right now so, little joke that works well in context to lighten things up... again.. I've missed you!
Sometimes being the closest thing to a physical embodiment of love itself has it's perks. Now, just how insane did Shiny get trying to deal with this 'phase'?
Well, let's be glad she never found out about Flash Sentry's little.. reassignment..... Hey, somepony has to clean up after Cerberus, three heads means that thing eats a LOT.
Luna is a shapeshifter, and you can't tell me Twi couldn't find a spell or relic, or something to deal with that if Luna couldn't.
Called it.
Well we already knew Twilight and Luna have quite the kinky streak. *cough* weathervane *cough*
Alright so, last story ended in 2015, We have good reason to suspect that far less then the six years it has been seasons passed before that, the whole implication season 1-3 were all over a single year. So figure, 2-4 years total there, 5 at most... wait she was young young and Twi was still going on trips.. and it was made as if she was YOUNG YOUNG.. okay so assume 6 years, she'd be 8-9 at that point in 2014 when Twi was being all Pirate... wait does that add up? GAAAHH where's a timeline when you need one? So, 14 now so best case 2-5 years after the events of Enigma?
MARY SUE! OP! PL...oh wait I used this joke already? damnit....
This being Cadance, certainly, and with no embarrassment... other then having to facehoof at hos Shiny tried to bury his head under a cushion to avoid hearing anything or being part of it.
Yup... overly strict, being buried under 'decorum' at this age.... this is just a disaster waiting to happen.. Twilight, get her out of here and let her breath a bit before it reaches critical mass.
I should not be laughing at that and yet.. just the delivery and.. and.. the.....
Twi, not helping this will just make her want to go with you more, because you 'get' her and understand.... which is not a bad thing, at least she has an adult she trusts and respects and will listen to because she believes you do understand her. Don't blow that.
Just.. just... I need to see Twi's face right now.... some artist, get on it! Please....
Damnit story I.. I want to read you but.. but you are making it WAY to hard to do so... I can't read while.. laughing so hard... everything get's blurry and I spend time coughing...
Best unwitting double entandra conversation ever! Well at least one of
No... no.. THIS is the face I need to see......
Well I think that reactions says it all... this is a freaking AMAZING start to what look sto be one hell of a fun ride.
I really have missed your writing, it's just so damn GOOD and funny, and sweet, and just.... MOAR!!!!!!!
Mwahahaha, it's alive!
Oooooh boy. This is gonna be something...
YES!
Also I am HIGHLY amused at Twilight's reactions to dear little Flurry asking for training.
And we're off to the races!
I should have some of my Flurry Heart's Crystal Guard Cadet Corps stories published... Flurry looks good in armour.
Other than that... I can't WAIT to read more!
Aw yes. I'm ready for more!
An auspicious beginning! Definitely looking forward to more.
And here we go again... IISAW, GOGOGO
On that note, GET YO MIND OUTTA THE GUTTER, TWI-WI
Also, it's a good thing I don't drink while browsing on my computer
*checks out the diagrams*
squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Why am I not following you yet
Huzzah! A new adventure, and Flurry Heart (whom I am coming to like as a character in all the fandom's disprate interpretations, especially the one's where she's evil or something) is front and centre and...
...
...
*eyeglow twitch*
*eyeglow twitch*
Dammmmn yoooooooouuuuuu iiiiiisaaaaawwwwwww!!!!!!!
*shakes fist at uncaring sky*
Ahahaha, glorious! The first part actually reminded me of my own niece and how intelligent and imaginative she is, seamlessly folding stuff she sees and hears into her stories. She's a LEGO fanatic, at age 4, so I imagine my sister is going to have her hands full.
And then that hilarious double entendre conversation at the end. :) So glad to see you going forward with this!
Now this has potential. I wonder what Sunburst would think of Flurry Heart's antics?
How many of these bloody things are you going to write?!?
*Sniff sniff*
Sir, I do regret to inform you that I have detected a minor infestation of plot bunnies in your general vicinity.
Super-powered, angst driven teen titan..... hooooh boy, our purple pony princess will need some serious therapy after this.
Dis, as always, gonna be good.
Well... I was going to wait until the whole thing was published and then read it...
My resolve held out for... what, 3 days? Not even?
That conversation with Little Flurry. Flurry Heart is going to grow into a magnificent and dangerous mare. Dangerous for everyone involved, probably. But those are the best friends to have, anyway.
Naw, Twi. He just knows how it works. They are always smitten by the seemingly powerful ponies that guard their life and kingdom and aren't directly related to them. At least you are safe from her affections, Twi. God help the poor sap she takes an interest in.
I'm not sure if Flurry Heart actually intended that whole last conversation to be taken wrong, right up until the last line, in an effort to make her real question seem worse or not.
My exact thoughts as I read The Cadance Conundrum were: "Wait, did he publish another story when I wasn't looking?" As I opened another tab and looked through your stories. Finding none, my next thoughts were very similar to 7969281
So many lines in this made me laugh. I hope the rest of the story approaches this level of funny.
Who's an adorable little kinetic missile? You are! Yes you are!
Strategy? Simple: Draw blades, preferably three or more. Rotate blades around rolling axis of user in unison, but thrust blade at the zenith forward and retract it as it descends. Repeat with each blade at zenith of rotation. Slice in 180 degree arc toward rear at minimum frequency of 2Hz so that all blades not at zenith create continuous buzzsaw effect during rotation around user.
Attach high-tensile strength cable to handles for flying sewing machine of death!
7967337
Aww, I don't suppose "The Cadance Conundrum" exists anywhere for us to read...?
Ah! Iisaw! I forgot how much I love your writing style!
The thing is... I hate to be the one to break this to Cadence but... Well, Flurry is an alicorn princess in a dangerous, uncertain world. It will be her destiny to protect Her Little Ponies one day and there is little to be gained by trying to wish that away. Grogar proved, once and for all time, that there is no respect for childhood and innocence amongst the evils of their world. The fact that Twilight is a feared, accomplished and notorious adventurer, sorceress and warrior made it all the more inevitable that she'd be forcibly brought to face that reality of the world sooner rather than later.
I could think of worse paths to tread than to allow Flurry to do a few tours on the Nebula. A little time of actual front-line operation and the drudgery, terror and boredom (that makes one almost wish for the terror) of life on a pirate corsair will probably do a far better job than any hypothetical lesson to dissuade her of the 'romance' of adventuring.
This promises to be wonderful. You sir had the majority of my attention before but now you have all of it.
I hope you are aware that your readers will have your bead on a pike if you don't write this.
Where did this line of thinking come from? She said the best fencers, which is a type of sport.
8025899 I sense a sequel title.
8177929
I thought I had skipped a story for a second there, I was kinda confuzzled
8068000
HYPERBOLE!!!
8196129
No, that was me who skipped a story... or three.
8025899
George R. R. Martin'd! Well, I suppose I'll get to it eVentually... if I don't die first!
Looks up the story.
.
.
.
Wishes he hadn't looked up the story oh dear Celestia why
8250670
Not that Cadance Conundrum!
Oh geez, this is wonderful! Beautifuly written, with a solid plot and and good comedic affect.
8276621
Thank you!
8298078
But, you see, Twilight is also terribly pedantic about it. Even though you'll almost always see "I" used in this case, "me" is technically correct, even though it sounds off. If you remove the secondary subject (Luna) it becomes obvious. "Cadance arranged a meeting with me," is correct, not, "Cadance arranged a meeting with I."
We're off to a good start here. I really like Twilight as narrator. Something makes me suspect that she won't be the narrator for the entire story, though I guess it could potentially be written in that way. Either way, I'm excited to find out. Adventure, ho!
I had forgotten how refreshing your writing is. It's adorable and terrifying and funny as hell.
8372140
Thank you!
lol
8372140
I completely agree! Your writing is interesting and exhilarating.
So, I'm gathering from the comments that "The Cadence Conundrum" is not a story I've missed, and also that, um, I'm not just forgetting something from Enigma when it comes to Grogar, I think. Guess I'll need to reread Enigma sometime.
No, The Cadence Conundrum comes before this story... but it's not yet written.
8610678
That's... Sad. I need to go confirm this.
So I just spent forever trying to find the story The Cadance Conundrum, and the only thing I could find on this site was a traumatic parody-fic. Now I'm not sure if I should read this in case there are spoilers, while desperately trying to un-remember The Cadance Conundrum by Super Trampoline.
Then I read the comments and figured it was safe to finish the chapter. So I did, and I'm still recovering from the ending. I had forgotten what it sounded like to laugh that hard.
8702770
Into the fourth!
Corrections offered without malice.
acquired
collectible (…ok, American vs British spelling)
1. You used 2-s spelling in your map
2. Abyssinia is in comic canon
Ha.
The end of that chapter.
edit: I've now read The Cadance [sic] Conundrum, Super Trampoline's.
9430165
Thanks for all the corrections! You wouldn't believe how many people have been over these books and not found so many! I'll be going back through and fixing them as soon as I can get some time... (and have two hands to type with again.)
BTW, I deliberately refrained from using Abyssinia even though it's used in the comics because it's a well-known, real-world place, (or was at any rate.) The comic writer that came up with it obviously didn't know that, and thought they were making up a country based on a breed of cat.