Principal Celestia pulled the lasagna from the oven – a scratch-made recipe, modified to be vegetarian friendly and cooked just long enough to bring its many ingredients into harmony.
It wasn’t perfect. No time to try again. She slapped the dish to the oven top with a resigned sigh.
Luna sat on the counter next to her, munching from the salad bowl. “It looks fine, Tia.”
“We are hosting royalty.” Celestia didn’t quite snap the words, but her stress came through as a growl. “‘Fine’ isn’t good enough.”
“Pony royalty,” Luna said around a cucumber slice. “They probably eat raw carrots and hay. Besides, you were the one who wanted this.”
Celestia shook her head, releasing another hard sigh. “I did not. I have nothing in common with that woman, and I do not look forward to meeting her.”
“So why’d you say yes?” Luna asked, then waved her hand. “Never mind, I was there. Sunset was all, ‘Mom, can I have some friends over? And by friends I mean your horse princess demigod clone?’ And you saw that hopeful, smiling look she gets and caved like a spelunker.”
Celestia snatched the bowl from Luna’s side and placed it on the table. “What else was I going to say? ‘No, because I’ll look like shit next to Princess Perfect?’”
“I love it when you swear.” Luna smiled. “But seriously, if she asked me I would have said no. At least your clone is flattering. Mine tried to–”
“I found the silver!” Sunset followed her voice into the kitchen, bearing a massive grin and the dusty case of Celestia’s good silverware.
“Thank you.” Celestia turned to face her with a cheery smile. “I’ll take care of setting them. Can you look for my nice teapot? It’s going to be in the basement, in one of the boxes by the rifle rack.”
Luna pushed herself off the counter. “You nervous, Sunset?”
“A little.” Sunset added a chuckle to her grin. “We’ve been trading letters through the journal. At first I wondered if she was just being polite, but then she asked to visit. This is amazing. She forgave me, she invited me back, she said she loves me… it’s real. She wouldn’t be coming if she didn’t mean it.”
“Of course she does.” Celestia’s smile remained.
“Anyway, thanks for letting them come! I really look forward to you all meeting.”
“We look forward to it, too.” Celestia said as Sunset departed.
Luna waited for the young woman to leave before adding, “We do?”
The mask dropped, and Celestia groaned. But she didn’t respond to the wit – she pocketed her hands, looking to the side with a thoughtful frown. “You think she’ll go home?”
“She is home,” Luna answered.
“The student of royalty.” Celestia’s long leg kicked once at the floor. “Her own room, servants at her beck and call, her magic returned, a world of fairyland adventure…”
Luna cut in. “She’s a teenager. She doesn’t want that shit, she wants to hang with her friends, eat pizza, sneak beer, and maybe get a little nookie. It’s completely against her own interests, but she’ll stay.”
Celestia drew a sharp breath, eyes closed and eyebrow twitching. “Thank you for making me feel better about this, now don’t you have something else to do?”
A knock on the door snapped her eyes back open. “Shit, they’re here? How’s my hair?”
“Heh, you swore again.”
“Ooh-ooh, I got it!” Sunset was already pounding to the front of the house. She caught her breath in the hallway, tried unsuccessfully to fight down her grin, and threw open the door.
“Sunset! It’s so good to see you.”
The next thing Celestia heard was a piteous squeak. She leaned into the hallway to find a red-faced Sunset being embraced by two women – perfect copies of herself and Luna, smiling happily and butt-naked.
Luna, at least, had the good grace to step back into the kitchen before she burst out laughing.
Fortunately, the obvious problem was easily solved – go figure, the principals had plenty of clothes in the princesses’ size. The five of them sat around the table, with Sunset bouncing giddily in her seat and the other four smiling with mixed sincerity.
“Thank you for having us.” Princess Celestia bowed her head to the two humans. “Most of all, thank you for taking care of Sunset.”
Princess Luna nodded, already scooping out her own helping of lasagna. “Indeed! Tis most gracious of thee to share thy meager resources with one in such need as her.”
The human Luna did not hide her wince. Celestia did. “You are most welcome,” she said with a smile.
“Luna, dear!” Princess Celestia playfully chided her sister, who giggled in response. “Manners! We must have dessert before we load our plates.”
“Dessert is served first in Equestria,” Sunset offered.
A brief flash of teeth and honesty graced Luna’s smile. “I’m okay with that.”
“My student is correct. And I believe she shall recognize these.” Princess Celestia raised a small golden chest and set it on the table. With no apparent unfamiliarity with fingers, she clicked open the latch and flipped the lid to reveal a dozen sugar cubes, drizzled with a clear pink syrup.
“Sugarjoys?” Sunset’s smile wobbled. “Wow, you shouldn’t have.”
“But I did.” The princess smiled first at Sunset, then to the humans. “They’re an Equestrian delicacy. The sugar is mixed with powdered joy, with just a little bit of blossomberry syrup added to give it that light taste. They’re Sunset’s favorite back home.”
The last word’s emphasis was all in Human Celestia’s head. “That’s nice,” she said, very pleasantly.
Principal Luna accepted a cube along with the other three. She eyed the moist treat for a second, shrugged, and popped it in her mouth.
“How does it taste?” her sister whispered.
“Like the nectar of angels. Of course.” But the bitter comment did not stop Luna from claiming a few more.
Evidently the louder of the pair, Princess Luna pushed the box closer to Principal Celestia. “Have some! To hear mine sister tell it, thou must indulge whilst thy may, lest Sunset Shimmer devour them all!”
Both Sunset and Principal Celestia gave weak chuckles, the latter raising her palms out. “I’m sorry, I really can’t. I have diabetes.”
The equine Luna tilted her head. “Diabees? What do they have to do with this?”
“No, ‘diabetes.’”
“Right, ‘diabees.’”
The two sides stared blankly at each other before Sunset intervened. “Princesses, ‘diabetes’ is a disease some humans have that make it dangerous for them to eat a lot of sugar. Miss Celestia, Miss Luna, ‘diabees’ are a race of flying insects that invaded Equestria a few hundred years ago. They pollinated in sugar, which made it poisonous.”
“But that’s long past,” Princess Celestia continued. “At the height of their invasion, a young baker named Sweet Delight had the idea to show the bees just how delicious sugar could be. She baked them a feast of cake, cookies and pie, and it was so good that not only did the diabees agree to stop poisoning our sugar, they also resolved to make their own sweet treats and trade them with the ponies. That’s how honey was invented.”
A brief stillness followed the explanation, broken only by the tremble of Principal Luna’s fist around her fork.
“That’s very interesting,” Principal Celestia said with a tiny twitch in her smile. “Let’s eat.”
“We are a step ahead of you!” Princess Luna had already piled her plate with food while the others were talking. She closed her eyes as she took her first bite of lasagna, chewing and swallowing with relish. “Tis excellent repast, mine sisters from another world! Truly, thou hast worked a culinary miracle within thine humble means.”
Sunset paused with her fork poised for a second before digging in. Celestia’s eye began twitching, so she closed it and tilted her head. “Thank you, your highness.”
The pony scoffed. “Please, as We have said, thou art our sister and we shall speak as such. I have read Sunset’s letters to Twilight of the work thou doeth here, and tis grand! Fighting the good fight against the forces of evil who threaten thine world. Equestria has had many similar battles in recent years: Tirek, Chrysalis, and more. A war, even, some sixty years ago when mine sister fought the Unicorn Supremacists and their leader, Small Mustache!”
The humans blinked, and exchanged a glance.
“‘Small Mustache?’” Celestia asked, scarcely believing the parallel she saw.
Luna was even more incredulous. “‘War?’”
“Indeed!” Princess Luna bellowed. “On the fields of Prance the Equestrian army met them, sword to sword!”
Principal Luna stared at her twin. “Like… metal swords? For killing?”
Princess Luna waved her down. “Heavens, no. Foam swords. When one was hit, one then had to sit out.”
The two humans gave another blink as their minds digested, indigested, and vomited. While Principal Celestia turned her attention to the food with a quiet sigh, her sister pressed on. “What if they didn’t sit out?”
“Then a referee would penalize them.”
“You had referees!?” Human Luna asked loudly, her indignation finally defeating her tact.
“Of course. How else would cheaters be detected?” Princess Luna sniffed regally, then raised a hand to stage-whisper to her sister. “Hm, this other me seems a touch slow.”
“Now Luna…”
“Don’t ‘Now Luna’ me, We speak the truth.”
Princess Celestia smiled gently across the table. “At any rate, as hard as the war was on all of us, it ended well. At the height of the fighting a group of ponies began a song about acceptance and love, and it was so catchy that soon everyone was singing along. The Supremacists realized they were in the wrong and disbanded, and Small Mustache went on to be a fine painter.”
“Oh. My God.” Principal Luna laughed, then gave a few more laughs that sounded like sobs. “No wonder the changelings kicked your asses.”
“Luna!” Principal Celestia chided, then turned her painted smile back to the ponies. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m not,” Luna followed with a shrug.
To both of their surprise, Princess Luna laughed with a full mouth and slapped her twin on the shoulder. “Neither are We! We see ourselves in this other me. She and I are the blunt and truthful ones.”
“Don’t compare us.” Principal Luna jerked her shoulder away from the hand, her scowl finally breaking through. “I will wither and die in the time it takes your royal ass to make a shit. We have nothing in common.”
Her Equestrian counterpart’s humor dropped, replaced with an imperious glare and a mouth pressed to a thin line. “Thou art correct. I am courteous and companionable, and thou lackest these qualities.”
“Great pasta, Miss Celestia!” Sunset called with strangled cheer.
Principal Luna ignored her, still focused on her twin. “Yeah, I guess you are nicer than me. Maybe you learned it during your thousand year time-out after becoming a genocidal maniac.”
“Now Luna…” Principal Celestia began in a warning tone.
“Don’t ‘Now Luna’ me,” Luna huffed. “We have to suffer, bleed and die to do anything in this world. I’m not going to sit here and get my nose rubbed in it by this bitch and her exposition-spewing sister.”
“THIS IS SERIOUSLY THE BEST LASAGNA I HAVE EVER TASTED!”
“ME TOO!”
Sunset’s feeble interruption was unsurprising, and duly ignored. Its note of support, however, drew four sets of eyes to the humanized Princess Celestia, wearing a beard of tomato sauce around her bashful grin.
One Luna laughed out loud. The other reddened and demanded her sister cease embarrassing them.
Hiding behind her teacup, the human Celestia finally allowed herself to frown. She had watched her twin eat daintily all meal, then quickly decorate her face as the conversation flew out of control. One move and one line from her mouth had averted disaster. Brilliant. Perfect.
Celestia could recognize the stab of jealousy in her heart – one that twisted as she saw Sunset laugh and scramble to wipe her mentor’s chin. But that wasn’t fair, and she knew as much. The princess was incredible, Principal Celestia was not, and there was nothing to do but accept it and move on.
“Do you have movies in Equestria?” she asked sweetly, quietly ensuring the Lunas wouldn’t pick up where they left off.
“We do,” Princess Celestia said. “Although we must go to a cinema for them. I gathered from Twilight that humans have the ability to watch movies at home.”
Principal Celestia brought her teacup down, her smile back in place. “It’s true, and I have one I think you’ll find interesting. It concerns the unicorn legends we have here on Earth.”
That perked the Celestial sisters’ interest. “It’s called, ‘The Last Unicorn.’”
Princess Luna made a face. “That is not a pleasant title.”
“But we’ll be happy to watch, and then form our opinions,” Princess Celestia followed diplomatically. The pair of them and Human Luna moved to the living room, leaving the leftovers to their host.
Sunset began stacking plates. “I’ll help.”
“Leave it to me.” Their eyes met, and Principal Celestia gave a truthful smile. “She came all this way to see you.”
The smile widened as Sunset stubbornly collected another plate. A good kid – doing what’s right, and damn everything else. It was how she rolled. How she made it this far, and how she seemed set to keep on rolling. Not just a do-gooder, but a confident, smart do-gooder who could turn will into action.
The future was bright for Sunset. It held whatever the girl wanted: a career in science, politics, law…
…Wizardry.
Servants at her beck and call. A palace home. A peaceful world.
A perfect mother.
Celestia’s gentle smile remained as she collected the dishes from Sunset. “Go with her.”
Maybe Sunset caught the double meaning in the words. Maybe she didn’t. Her sideways glance betrayed no thoughts. “It’s my choice.”
The sentimental heartbeat passed, and Celestia took the plates to the sink. “I grew up with that movie. Go watch, I think you’ll like it.”
Initially, Celestia went to join them in the living room. It was her favorite movie: the touching story of three flawed and homely souls bringing a lost unicorn to her destiny, then waving goodbye with glad smiles when she found it.
But seeing Sunset curled up next to that woman… no. Principal Celestia rationalized that she had paperwork to do, and set to in the dining room. She had seen the movie enough. She knew how it ends.
An hour and a half later, Sunset opened the connecting door, bringing with her the sound of two Lunas crying in stereo.
“How’d it go?” Celestia asked.
Sunset’s own eyes were a little puffy. “Pretty good, but you’re out of tissues. Princess Celestia is getting some toilet paper to substitute.”
She folded her arms. “To be honest, I hated it.”
“Not a fan of tearjerkers?”
“It’s more than that,” Sunset growled. “The prince, the cook, the wizard… they loved the unicorn. They did everything they could for her. Then when she learns she’s not the last after all, she ditches them to go hang with the others. It’s like, ‘Thanks for loving and caring for me, suckers!’”
“She went with her people,” Celestia offered.
Sunset shook her head. “The people who love you are your people.”
Celestia paused, and responded softly. “Sometimes love means letting go.”
“That doesn’t excuse leaving you.”
“What?”
“That doesn’t excuse leaving them.” Sunset looked steadily back to Celestia, showing no embarrassment at the slip. Or had Celestia just misheard?
The young girl looked away. She sighed, and shook her head again. “Tell you a secret?”
“Of course.” Still wrong-footed, Celestia fell back to her kindly smile.
“I hate sugarjoys.”
Sunset gave a quiet chuckle and closed the door behind her. “They were my first real memory with Princess Celestia. I had gone from hobo orphan to personal student in the space of an afternoon, and I was terrified. She saw me like that, so she took me to the kitchen, dismissed the staff, and used her own hooves to whip up a batch of sugarjoys. They became ‘our’ treat – the thing she would make me as a reward, or to get me through a long night studying.”
“Here’s the thing: they’re awful. Like a sugar cube mixed with syrup, cola, and doughnut glaze. I loved them when I was four, but I grew up.” Sunset sighed, and cast her eyes back to the living room. “I grew up, and she never noticed.”
“Sunset…” Celestia began, though in truth she had nothing in mind.
“That’s not a dig on her,” Sunset quickly clarified. “That’s just how she is. Compared to her, no one ever ‘grows up.’ She’s literally thousands of years old, so of course she thinks I still like sugarjoys. To her, fifteen years is yesterday. Fates bless her for trying, but she doesn’t understand me, and I don’t think she even can.”
Sunset shuffled in place. She glanced to and away from Celestia, a pink tinge coming to her cheeks. “I used to think of her as a mother. That was a dream. A mother isn’t someone who cares for the whole world forever – queen, matron, and god. It’s someone you think you can be when you get older. Someone who forgives mistakes not because she has endless love and experience, but because she’s made mistakes too and knows what it’s like. Someone who can say, ‘You’re special to me,’ without having to tack on, ‘just like everyone else.’”
Another glance, to and away. The pink in her cheeks turned red. “Someone who’s not too polite to say you screwed up. And who’s there to remind you that… y-you’re not a loser.”
“Sunset…” Celestia tried again, but Sunset pressed on first.
“Sorry. This is pretty heavy. I’ve been doing some thinking. I told you she invited me back, right?”
Celestia nodded. “Yes.”
“Well I’m not going.” Sunset’s voice shrunk to a whisper.
Celestia’s matched it. “I’m happy to hear that.”
She blinked, and Sunset was in her arms. The skinny, shorter girl wrapped her hands around Celestia and squeezed.
Celestia hugged her back – the move was instinctive at this point. It felt natural. And right.
The words also emerged without thought, giving the brain no time to intercept. “Love you.”
“Love you, too.”
Five quiet words they already knew. Sunset stepped away, grinning. “Now come watch me shoot that old mare down.”
Despite the bravado, their parting was peaceful. Princess Celestia stood on the porch, turned to the door for a last goodbye. “You’re free to come back, Sunset. I want you to know that.”
“I do,” Sunset said, standing with the principals inside the house.
The princess nodded once, accepting the unspoken refusal with perfect grace. Of course, but at least she was leaving.
Princess Luna picked at her shirt. She abruptly looked down to it as a memory struck, and began pulling it upwards. “Sister, we must return their clothes.”
“Keep them!” The principals cheered, hands out and smiling desperately.
Whether they grasped the fear or not, at least the ponies ceased to disrobe. Princess Celestia’s calm smile never moved. “Thank you. You keep the sugarjoy box, too. It’s just bettergold, I have a dozen like it.”
“I’ll walk them to the portal.” Sunset jogged ahead to the sidewalk, giving the sisters a moment of their own. The Lunas shuffled awkwardly, neither quite meeting the other’s eye.
“We doth apologize for our outbursts.”
“I don’t.” The human Luna smirked.
Princess Luna frowned fiercely, waging a brief and futile battle to hide her own smile. “Then neither do We.”
“It was a pleasure.” The words brought Principal Celestia’s focus to her own twin – a mirror image, and just as untouchable. “Perhaps next time you might visit Equestria.”
Celestia had smiled so much this evening her mouth was numb, but she forced its corners up once more. “It was good to have you.”
“You don’t need to lie.”
Of course the princess had seen the truth. Maybe she was never fooled at all. “I hope at least you will visit, and give us a chance to be better hosts than guests.”
Then she offered her hand, and after a moment’s hesitation Principal Celestia accepted. Strangers though they were, they could at least shake hands.
“Take care of Sunset. She could not ask for a better mother in any world.”
Celestia warmed at the praise, in spite of herself. “Thank you. But I am not her mother.”
“Indeed?” A hiccup entered the princess’ endless serenity. Her mouth quirked upwards beyond its peaceful norm, and she turned away. “Perhaps that word’s meaning is different here.”
She strode from the porch, her sister at her side, and together with Sunset they departed from sight.
A sharp elbow poked Celestia in the ribs, accompanied by Luna’s voice. “Wow. Even the ponies know you’re full of shit.”
Besides, I DOUBT Celestia's gonna care that much.
I'm sure.
You're not wrong.
As am I!
Princess, what are you doing...
YIKES.
What.
Surely thou jest.
Oh my god you're serious.
Oh god, it just dawned on me who Small Mustache is.
Yeah...
Uh ladies...
Luna, calm down...
It's, not as bad as you think. Fun movie though.
I don't quite think it's like that.
Hm...
Ah, good point. She's immortal, she's seen generations rise and fall, while she never changes...
Dawww!
You're gonna enjoy this.
Never change.
Classy.
They need to quit horsing around (see what I did there?) and go fill out the adoption papers already.
Really liked this chapter.
From what little we have here, I question just how "not getting it" Celestia really is. Honestly, people's changing tastes takes even their loved ones by surprise. It was the juxtaposition of Celestia at the end and Sunset's description that made me pause.
I think it may be Sunset that isn't getting Celestia. Because she doesn't seem quite as slow to recognize change as Shimmer thinks--I mean that last exchange? Beyond the running joke of "you're a mom Celly" it kinda made me go back and wonder. The treat may be more about Celestia's nostalgia than "I know she likes this"... Which is a little sad, but actually is pretty believable.
Seeing these human sisters in Equestria would be amazing. In the most horrific way.
7377334
I assumed the sugarjoys were a metaphor: the human world is not merely "darker and edgier" than the pony one, but it´s also more mature. You can see how Equestrian version of historical events like the Second World War (Small Mustache, reallly? ) looks from Principals Celestia and Luna´s perspective: cute and peaceful yes, but ridiculous and childlike too.
This was absolutely amazing. I was expecting Sunset to wake up at any point and 'it was just a dream' but NO IT WAS ALL REAL AHHHAHHA
I really like what you did with Princess Celestia and Sunset Shimmer. They respect and love each other, but they cannot possibly hope to understand each other. Sunset talks about Celestia not understanding what it's like to be mortal and she has a point, but at the same time she has no understanding of what it means to be immortal. That sort of mutual-respect-despite-glaring-differences is a little hard to portray, and it's well presented here.
Also naked princesses got a good laugh from me. I imagine Human Celestia and Luna will have some questions to answer from their neighbors as to why they were standing on their front porch naked
Wait, if she was 4, and then 15 years passed, that would make her 19. Isn't that a bit old for high school?
7377450
uuuuuhhhhhhh
Mirror Magic
_I wouldn't say that MLP:FiM universe are that childish...or childish at all.
We can see certain dark themes running beneath the bright and cheerful surface. Only held back by the family rating.
Oh hell, it certainly isn't as messed up as our world. Closest to utopia any world can get to even...
The thing is, powerful and actually evil indivituals show up every once in a while to wrecks thing up. Magical artifacts that corrupt a person got into the...appendages of folks. There are secret agents working in the shadow. There are daring and adventurous indivituals out to stop doomsday artifacts from falling into the wrong appendage, or that there are any doomsday artifact to begin with. A lot of mind related magic...But maybe, that it is just their culture. Gender imbalance. Seemingly very advanced medical care that also seem to be free (the fact that it seems to be more advanced than our war-torn world). Mentions of advanced weapons with words like "bullet" and civillian versions of normal and self-propelled artillery pieces. RD's dream of fighting the changelings made Spike's dream of fighting Diamond Dogs mild by comparison. Great and terrible monsters.........
7377308 It might not be possible to do so without major complications depending on Sunsets legal existence in this world. Since she just popped into existence from the portal, it's quite possible that she has no clue regarding the legal systems and might not exist according to any government, which would in turn mess with the process.
Pleas note I don't know how this would be handled in the real world anyway (Thankfully, I hate bureaucracy) so I might be so far wrong that anybody with a clue will think this comedy gold.
Good chapter very funny, yet with an undertone that makes me reflect. I like the way you depicted the curse of immortality.
Not only Celestia is forced to see the ponies around her die while she remains the same, but she's unable to understand how the passing of time effect them in more ways than just getting old because she's literally frozen with her current mindset.
Oh, and clever reference to Hitler's past as an art student.
7377543 ci.memecdn.com/476/4654476.jpg
7377654 Sounds about right. Might make for interesting reading.
Goddamit Equestrians. Foam Sword Warfare?
Pony Luna and Human Luna should just go get a room.
Also, I feel like the princesses should join in on a hunt one day.
This read like a god damn fever dream.
Not a fan of the 'foam swords and referees' perfect fantasy world head-canon you have of Equestria, but I'm just going to disregard this chapter because the rest of them have been pretty solid.
7377450
it gets weirder because 30 moons isn't that long of a time, certainly a shorter period of time than Twilight's been Celestia's student.
She's probably closer to 30.
7377334
Yeah, I'm skeptical of the idea that Celestia doesn't get it, considering she appears to be a pretty on the ball politician and likely pays attention to all these things.
Well, that was a really awkward, funny and heartwarming chapter. Nice to finally see the Celestias (and Lunas) meet. Depending on the interpretation, that gap between mortal unicorn and immortal pony demigoddess is part of what drove Sunset apart from Princess Celestia (that and the arrogance and ambition, etc.). Though Princess Celestia is probably more fond of Sunset than she lets on, but Sunset is at peace with that by now. The Princess almost comes off as a doting mother or grandmother, with that sugarjoy gift.
Ah, Last Unicorn, that was always a sad/depressing movie for me, not the traditional fairy tale happy ending (I think the book was the same too). Good music too, I should rewatch it sometime, I haven't seen it in years, usually a bit too sad for me.
While dinner was tense, glad it never felt like a custody battle (or something like that), due to Principal Celestia wanting the best for her daughter, er, Sunset and Princess Celestia having perfect poise, as usual. Blunt Lunas clashing was funny (no wonder the changelngs won so easily, they didn't bother with a referee!)
7377450 I think the assumption has always been that she was transformed into her human counterpart, who is younger than her. But yes, Sunset is most probably in her mid-twenties or early thirties at this point, even if she has cheated a little.
Maybe that's the real reason she doesn't want to go back? She steps through the portal, and suddenly she's half a generation older than Twilight! :)
7377774 Agreed. I kept waiting for Sunset to wake up. The foam swords thing sounds more like the fanfic about the royal diet than a real event. Seems to me that sugarcoating aside, Tirek rather pointedly demonstrates that war in Equestria isn't a game. Not with Twilight pulling out her inner badass and redecorating the landscape with massively lethal energy blasts. I was wondering if it was just the princesses messing with the humans with silly, fake-history references.
7377635
Slings and Slingshots also use bullets. Not that it's well known, since most people just use rocks. They're much nastier to get hit by than rocks, though. Having cannons is definitely valid, though.
7377858 Chances there are more than one student of Celestia at any one time. How else could Sunburst have also been her student, the students are probably kept separate so they can focus on what Celestia chooses to focus their studies on
Is there a reason why the Princesses are naked (other than Rule of Funny)? Twilight had clothes when she went through the portal.
7378340
For ponies, clothes are optional.
Perhaps the Princesses thought the same for humans and took the clothes they appeared with off?
I'm starting to think "I'm not her mom." has changed from a statement to a running gag.
7377806 considering Tirek happened, and *didn't * turn them into chunky salsa, maybe the foam swords thing was Celestia's idea?
"Ok, you want to fight over something this stupid, fight with these!"
Maybe to shame them?
Or she's a massive troll
Best get Sunset some adoption papers
Am I the only one who thinks that another you from another dimension is still more or less you? We may be a sum of our memories, but the simple fact that you would be the exact same if you had experienced the same things basically means you can't blame the other you for anything they do, or at least blame them only as much as you would blame yourself.
7379384 I get what you're trying to say, but I don't think it's exactly a fair way to look at it. I mean, sure, if I had been in the exact same situation as Joseph Stalin, identical throughout my entire life up until before he killed his first man, I'd probably do the same things he did.
Memories and experiences, however small, make people who they are. It's impossible to replicate two people's situations perfectly since the tiniest, most seemingly insignificant event can change a person's perspective or feelings on something, and then the whole process is a failure. But I believe that, hypothetically, if two people had the same exact experiences down to the the most minute details their whole life, then their personalities would be 99% or more identical.
Therefore, I don't think it's plausible to say that just because they are you that you would do the same things in their position, since I believe that it's true for most people in the world.
I liked the meeting and the subtext, but not the finer points. You really overplayed the love and friendship angle of Equestria, to the point of saccharine parody. Plus, the princesses' entrance provoked more questions than laughs from me. The only explanation I can think of—especially since I find it hard to believe that neither Twilight nor Sunset would've brought up the nudity taboo at some point—is that they did it deliberately to break their human analogues out of any sense of paralyzing awe or inadequacy. I'd say the same about the war stories, but those felt too genuine.
Don't get me wrong, everything from the double-shout onwards was quite nice. But you shouldn't have to warp one world just to make the other look grittier by comparison.
7378251
The word has been retroactively applied to sling ammunition, but originated in the 1850s from the Middle French for "cannonball." After all, party cannons had to come from somewhere.
I am confused. Does this mean that Celestia has very selective discernment skills?
7379973 Nah. I think what's happening is that Princess Celestia is living in the "I want to believe" moment, where she still hopes Sunset will come back. As a result, she's essentially living in a nostalgia haze. The dinner, even if most of the Equestria-side commentary was deliberately false just to mess with the school faculty's minds, was the Princess' wake-up call. (I can see the funny narrative about life in Equestria being how Celestia described world-altering events to a child Sunset, and being caught up in the moment she does so at the dinner just to tease her former student.) In the end, no one really knows what Sunset and Celestia talked about, but considering Sunset had issues with how Amalthea acted at the end of the story, and likely had issues with her behavior throughout the movie, I doubt the puffy eyes was entirely due to the movie.
Will Sunset ever go to Equestria again in this timeline? Who knows. But for now, Earth is where she needs to be. Maybe once the principal and vice-principal don't so blatantly obviously need her, that might change. But I think for now, Sunset is ironically the ray of sunshine the human sisters need very badly, and the princess can see that.
7380836
Again, depends on the strength of the vampire, if we're talking, stock Blade vampires, that's one thing, if we're talking Hellsing Ultimate Alucard or even just some of the more powerful Draculas, that's a whole other game.
7377308
Equinot believe you just went there.
7377450
Eh... I just kind of gave Sunset my own habit of not sweating numeric details. Honestly she's probably an adult by pony standards (likely older than Twilight, who lives independently), but I put her at seventeen earlier and that seems a good one to stick with.
7377654
She's probably clueless and officially nameless, but fortunately modern bureaucracy has her covered. Abandoned children and refugees often have no documentation, but legal arrangements exist for such circumstances.
7378340
7378669
Boom.
(Basically, though, nothing but rule of funny. Or if you want a defensible explanation: They took off their regalia before coming, as it wouldn't fit a human. Thus they considered themselves "naked," and the mirror reacted. As Twilight did not normally wear clothes, she considered herself to be dressed normally and came out as such. Also explains why nobody stressed the importance of clothes to them... "Oh, they'll just come out in clothes anyway.")
7379756
7377806
I think I get what you're saying. And my own headcanon is way cooler too, with muskets and lances and such.
As far as the show itself goes, though? Battles with high stakes and pitched emotions are fought with thrown pies and food catapults. Foam swords isn't that big of a jump. The land is populated with adults who act like children and children who have adventures: it's a silly, storybook world.
I think I'm getting a little too deep here, but I feel said silliness makes its own kind of sense. Presuming that Equestria has no military rivals, its only real threat comes from devastating evils so large that no amount of military could stop them. They are instead stopped by either Superelectromagnetic Love Shields or Harmony Space Lasers - things fostered and encouraged by their pacifistic, all-life-is-valuable society.
It is definitely a bit silly of me to debate canon in a fic about well-armed, smack talking, grossly irresponsible vampire hunters in EQGland... but hey, thems is my opinion. If it helps, I don't much plan on checking in with the ponies again except for a brief aside with Chryssi.
7379973
Two possible answers:
One, we all suffer from selective discernment. Each human being is incredibly sensitive to some issues and emotions while remaining oblivious to others. Celestia may be the same.
Two, the note on Celestia's obliviousness is Sunset stating her own perception, which may or may not be correct.
7380452
That's... a super-beautiful way of putting it. My stone heart, it moves.
This story is great. Faintly reminiscent of Buffy.
7378790 Heh, it'll make more sense if they wind up dating. 'oh, by the way, that young girl thing? I'm actually older than Luna!'. wut.
7377970 I always hated the ending to TLU. She's freaking IMMORTAL, and she can't spend the rest of her friends' lives hanging with her comrades, or at least visiting often, despite the fact that she seemed to have been fine without being around other unicorns in the beginning?
7378315 I forget, was he a personal student, or just a student? And I wonder how old he and Starlight are. He might be old enough to have been the student before Sunset.
7378167 Ancient, Immortal God-Princess Ponies have to get their jollies somehow, I guess. Or maybe the idea of pissing off the one controlling the sun makes their enemies rethink waging normal wars against them. 'Play nice until the crazy sun pony goes home, then we can recommence slaughtering the Prench.'
7377858 And just think how old the freakin' Sirens are. They assumably predate Discord's conquest/destruction of the original Equestria! Maybe, they even predate the original founding! 'Just delinquints with powers' my damn foot.
7338211 I was surprised too. I was expecting vampire, or at least werewolf, (though werepony would have been amusing too), but were-manatee? That was way out of left field. Hell if it wasn't funny, though.
7381010 ...that's a possibility.
7380947
They're not cows. Even legend puts them at vanishingly rare, making gathering enough to maintain a herd impossible. Combined with strong innate defenses, their own sapience, and natural human self interest ("To hell with King Yorrick's herd idea, I want to live!"), you really don't have any prospects of mass domestication without throwing out everything established in the unicorn myths.
Given that we've seen them fight real battles (especially with the alternative timelines where the resistance used most certainly real spears), I feel the whole foam weapons thing might have been a bit much, even if it was played for comedy (though I appreciated the history joke in it).
Unless, of course, this fellow is on to something with the Princesses trolling the living daylights out of the Principals.
7378167
7381357 Well, it's certainly established in canon that Trollestia is a thing. She deliberately invited Discord to Twilight's first Grand Galloping Gala in the hopes he'd "liven things up," after all. (Quite possibly even arranging the delayed ticket just to wind him up.) Much to Twilight's considerable shock, as I recall.
I could see the whole dinner event being elaborately staged by the Princesses to make the human sisters feel Sunset would be better off in the human world.
7379547 Well, what I'm getting at is since they are parallels, they would make the same decisions under the same circumstances. We are indeed more than our sum total of memories and experiences. You can't know what you would have done in Stalin's place, but if you were a parallel Stalin, then you would have a pretty firm bet. There surely can be emotions felt about such things, but having an 'us and them' mentality seems odd. I guess it is an easy view to take, and one many people would, but I like the stories that stress a little bit of intrapersonal conflict about seeing yourself become something you disagree with.
... You let Pinkie Pie pick out the title this time, didn't you?
7379756 Touche, sir. I stand corrected. From bola(or whatever romance variant) + dimunitive suffix -ette, I guess? Sounds like the etymology then is 'little ball'?
I'm fairly certain they actually had them, even in ancient times (It's not like ancient people were stupid, and lead wasn't particularly expensive). I wonder what they called them? Eh, probably something that likewise meant 'little ball' in their language, or otherwise related to being a missile.
Oh, apparently in Latin a bullet was just called a 'plumbum' (which is the word for lead).
7381612 Our memories and experiences shape who we are every bit as much as who we are shapes our memories and experiences, and thus decisions. The only other thing in there to who we are is the whole 'nature' bit, which is encoded in our genetics, and determines the baseline of how our brains and bodies develop (As any 'nurture' would be included under 'memories and experiences'). If you're adding in 'mind transfer' or some such, you could also include the mechanical structure of the brain and body (normally part of 'experiences' and 'nature').
A parallel universe version of you wouldn't necessarily be 'identical'...I mean, they could be a pony or something! And ponies definitely don't have the same nature as a human. Considering them a twin or a Patty Duke would make more sense.
7381010
It's been ages since I last watched or read The Last Unicorn, but I thought her leaving her companions to be with the other Unicorns at the end had more to do with the nature of Unicorns than with any ungratefulness or unwillingness to spend time with them. When she was turned human, the unicorn developed human feelings that she did not have as a unicorn, and presumably when she turned back those feelings started to fade.
Swearing is magic,
I just binged on this whole thing. It a thing of beauty and joy forever, and also wonderfully silly.
I like a story that is unafraid to mix both the utter ridiculousness of were-manatees and ripped, rhyming gym teachers called Iron Will with the rather touching sweetness of Celestia being adorably maternal and Sunset learning to trust.
7405369
They are called "curse words" after all.
Small mustache made this chapter
I retread every time this updates, and in rereading: I like this chapter a lot more this time around. Sunset's evaluation seems less damning, and the interplay of Luna's is great.
The best parts of this story have been the character by-plays, and this chapter really showed that well.
I didn't like the foam sword thing, but otherwise you did a great job of showing the differences between what at first glance are two pairs of identical characters.