Twilight Sparkle is being sent to Ponyville to learn about friendship. She's not happy about it.
Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06
Family Appreciation Day
Dear Princess Celestia,
Why can't all old ponies be like you? I mean, you're more than one thousand years old, and you still look perfectly fine. Every old pony I know is wrinkly and smelly. And they keep on trying to tell me that you are the one true God, and Luna is just a false prophet. But to tell you the truth, I think both of you are pretenders. I think the sun and moon actually raise and set by themselves and you two are a bunch of power horders.
I'm not even that old yet, and I can tell how everypony pretty much sucks. Kids are cruel, teens are assholes, and adults walk around like they're always right and kids are always wrong. Screw that.
So we just had Family Appreciation Day, and because my teacher is the most sensitive, empathetic pony I know, she chose me to bring family in. Me, when I'm pretty sure my mom and dad are dead. And even after I explained that this week is the Zap Apple harvest, she decides to find reason in Diamond Tiara of all places, and tells me to bring in the granny who 'wouldn't remember her mane if it wasn't attached to her head.' Great. Why? Grannies aren't for Family Appreciation Days. Grannies are for pwning noobs. Besides, there's a Family Appreciation Day every week, and there are only like 8 in our class. So basically, every two months is gonna be the same thing. Sure, they could bring in different family members, but once you've met one, you've met them all, I'd say.
Then, I decided to get help from the only two ponies who consider me worthy enough to associate with. Too bad that they're just as dim as I am. They thought that painting my face a sickly green would make Granny think I'm sick, or that Cheerilee somehow wouldn't see the ropes when we played puppet with her when she was napping.
So I finally came up with a believable plan that actually, ALMOST worked. I sent her off to visit Uncle Apple Strudel, and was almost home free when Granny Smith walked in with Uncle Apple Strudel. So I must have accidentally put her on Doctor Emmet Brown's train. Whoops.
But it turns out, that my Granny Smith was responsible for founding all of Ponyville. Even Silver Spoon decided to show some respect. So then I decided to shove it in Diamond Tiara's face, that if Granny hadn't made the Zap Apple Jam, that her dad never would've struck it big, and she'd probably be on the street corner for money.
You know, if there's anyone out there that actually wants to fuck a sassy stuck-up bitch.
Your faithful laborer,
Apple Bloom
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Brilliant
Keep it up!
Damn AB!
Apple Bloom! LANGUAGE!
Wow, Applebloom is giving Twilight a run for her money in nastiness.
Applebloom writing this letter made my evening.
Damn, guuuurl.
...
Did I really just say that?
"I'm not even that old yet, and I can tell how everypony pretty much sucks. Kids are cruel, teens are assholes, and adults walk around like they're always right and kids are always wrong. Screw that."
Alicorn Applebloom right now.
Yay for AB and her dim friends.
Typo I noticed:
hoarders
this Equestria is so very full of snarky ponies xD
Brilliant, lol.
Well, at least Apple Bloom is a bit more respectful than Twilight. She insults herself at the same time she insults her friends.
As for that Celestia/Luna thing... Apple Bloom, you are completely wrong. Now go pray for forgiveness, do your homework, and go to bed without supper. *into a radio* She knows.
Disgruntled!Twilight + Disgruntled!Applebloom = Equestria --> Nazi Germany in ten seconds flat. Just some basic math.
1617949
i.imgur.com/fgWTa.gif
That's why I chose to be the God-Empress of Love. It's so intangible you couldn't even prove I have control over it if you wanted to. Hopefully, Twilight won't let anyone else see my potion recipe book after I lent it to her for study in ambrosial foods and potions.
1618168 how old are you realy?
Hey, DT is best bitch-pony and everypony wants a piece of that hot filly flank!
...
OH GOD, BLEACH MY HANDS, BLEACH MY EYES, BLEACH MY EVERYTHING!
1618220
I'm this many.
1618229 38?
1618018 Damned Straight.
1618229
Yep sounds about right
~Reggie
1618258; 1618283
[youtube=4Jp2Or0Zli4]
I drink a fifth, I mean plead the fifth as far as that DT comment goes. XD
You know what... when I die and go to Equestria, THIS is the Equestria I wanna spend eternity in! (Or at least a couple seasons)
PISSED OFF PONIES WITH ATTITUDE FTW!!!!!
If anyone's curous as to what Diamond Tiara tastes like, she's's like an overcooked tur-duck-en.
I can prove it:
Tiara's an overstuffed turkey, a bigger chicken than Scootaloo, and a lame duck.
And the overcooked part? Well, there be naught but cinders left after that SICK BURN
She knows.
1618168
Holy crap there's a Princess Cadence in fimfiction now. How many people did you surprise everytime you make a comment in this site?
Applebloom, you have no idea how many people would love to do just that. It's not so much enjoyment of her personality, it's the ability to rip that away and show her just how little she matters. It's often referenced as "breaking a bitch" and I think Little Miss Tiara could be quite the loyal lapdog if you were to shatter her pride. Good Luck.
Magus Neon, Equestrian Nomad
1618468
Plenty. Get's a little annoying when ponies come groveling to my page though. I feel as though I should answer them all, but I don't really have anything to say.
1618018 Kids ARE always wrong! That's why they keep needing abortions.
1618304 You must have a terrible life if you'd rather live in this Equestria.
You must be from Detroit.
Hm, am I the only one wondering if Twilight made some "edits" to this before she sent it? Some of those references do not sound like something Applebloom would know about, and I also cannot see her insulting herself in a letter to the princess.
1618511 You should just tell them to go bang somepony at random.
1618511
Considering that we're all pretty much saying the same thing, I can see why you don't really have anything to say. Especially if we're not your friends, speaking of which, I went to your page and you mentioned Pinkie Pie showed you this, does she have an account of her own here? I get the feeling that Pinkie doesn't really bother getting accounts on the internet, but I can never be too sure. If not Pinkie Pie did any of the other ponies start making accounts here?
1618595
I think all the Mane Six have accounts...type: /user/<pony name here> after the fimfiction.net and see if they do.
1618574 BWA-HAA-HAA-HAA!!!!
Actually, I live in a place that's an even smellier armpit... Central Maine
1617920 Well she DID grow up on a farm. She was raised differently.
1618605
Well I did as you say and I found at least some of them because a few of them just stop coming all together. I wonder if they went throught that whole "too much internet is bad for you" episode before deciding to quit. I've also seen that Trixie has an account as well. I gotta ask, are you going to let a fanfic, that might disgust you in some way, change you judgement of your fandom entirely?
1618737
It would only affect my view of the author, not the fandom as a whole or the canon from which the story is based. Why do you ask?
*listens to A.B.'s foul language.*
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST APPLEBLOOM WATCH YOUR GODDAMN LANGUAGE
A back to the future reference?
i2.wp.com/puttingonthefoil.com/wpfiles/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/great_scott_400.png?resize=400%2C341
1618223
OKAY
stuartduncan.name/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/bleach.png
1617949 No.
You applied pressure in key points of an input device in succesion of one another, inciting the input device to send certain electrical signals to your Central Proccessing Box Thing. These electrical signals were then routed through your "internet" cable that leads to the Fimfiction.net server through the World Wide Web. The server then recognized those electrical signals as the content of your comment, and inserted the neccesary translation of those electric signals to the correct commands for certain tiny bulbs on the screen of any web page viewers to turn off, leaving a black pixel, all aranged in such a way that it reveals a comprehensible language for the viewers to be able to understand.
Have I answered your question?
1618468
Ah, Princess Cadance, the only character whose name is misspelled more often than Apple Bloom's
1618806
Well I see you getting along with this fanfic, actually going along with the setting in that universe, and I just wanted to make sure. Because I have this kneejerk reaction to people, or ponies, hating or leaving the fandom because they run into this one bad story or picture that spawned from it and I'll be sadly disappointed in them if that one story and picture was the one that turned the entire thing around for them. It's almost as if all the other good pictures and great stories that they experienced so far has become irrevelant after this one thing. It makes some sense to me if the one who now harbors negative feelings for the fandom now was because of a member of the fandom did something bad to them. But still, I don't think one bad action or a few should overshadow all the good that you've seen from others up until now and decide to hate everything associated with it.
I just wanted to see if you were like those people who give up on a group because of a couple of bad things happen from it despite the amount of good things that come from it.
1619204
I'm pretty sure the named is captioned like that as well. Especially if it also fits into the "Cadenza" part of her name anyway.
Applebloom knows too much...drastic measures must be taken
1619259
Hasbro refers to her as Princess Cadance. Probably for legal name claiming reasons. Though it looks like the season 3 premiere went with Cadence. Guess they need to hash it out between themselves what the proper spell is.
Was that last line a jab at Twi?
Also, Julian Smith!
Heh, almost thought it was Twilight writing the letter, despite what I think I said in last review I wrote, about her not being in that episode (only other one where she makes no appearance whatsoever is... Putting Your Hoof Down? I think that's the title, though she makes little airtime in few other eps as well, but still an appearance). Was gonna call you out on the faithful bit (since I skimmed this before actually read it, even though it's short like all the others), but eh, anyway.
Well, AB sure isn't awkward about being crude or honest about her feelings, I guess. Probably thanks to her sister being the Element of Honesty, truthfully. It is funny how she questions the princesses like Twilight, but then calls herself faithful at the end. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Applebloom.png And as someone else pointed out, should be hoarders instead of "horders" at that part. She does bring up a good point about Family Appreciation Day, not sure what the deal with that is, when should probably be a once-a-year thing. Definitely good to see her smugness from Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 at one point show up here, even though was more about wishing DT was homeless and whoring herself out for money. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Applebloom_lolface.png
Didn't enjoy this one as much, but eh, maybe I'm just used to seeing Twilight being the one who rips apart actions and such in this story, lol. Waiting on the next one, if that'll have Twilight again! iambrony.steeph.tp-radio.de/mlp/gif/h74256__safe_twilight-sparkle_animated_green-isn-quo-t-your-color_clapping.gif