June 24
Today, I woke up at my usual time, still a bit stiff and sore from flying in the storm, and on top of that I had some fresh new bruises from Stellan's sword.
I turned on my computer and plugged in my pocket telephone and my radios—I should have done that last night—and then I went into the kitchen and made a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast.
It looked nice outside, and I was looking forward to my morning flight. I was gonna have to stay low again, 'cause my radio was really low on power. So I decided to go over to the nature center and fly around there, plus I could trot around some, too.
I didn't take my vest or blinking light, 'cause I wouldn't get as lathered if I didn't wear my vest, and without my vest I didn't have anywhere to attach my light. I guess I could have clipped it to my tail.
It was a nice, easy flight over. I passed a couple of people on bicycles, and they had bright vests like mine, and they stayed on the road as I curved into the park and made a big turn to get to the clearing.
I did a couple of quick laps by wing, and then I landed on the high spot and looked around. There was a little patch of grass that looked tasty, and I thought that if it was okay for deer to eat it, it would be okay for me to as well. I knew I wasn't supposed to walk off the path—Peggy had told me that—so I flew over to the grass and landed just long enough to get a mouthful and then took off again. It was nice and juicy because of all the rain we'd had last night, and so I went down and had another mouthful before going back to the path for a good trot.
I went three laps on hoof, then two more on wing, and one last one on hoof to cool down, and then I decided that I might as well fly over the railroad tracks and splash in the river to really cool down, so I did that and then shook myself off on the riverbank and then took off for home.
Right as I got above the trees I saw a shape off in the distance, and at first I didn't know what it was, but when I got a little bit closer I saw that it was a hot air balloon. I didn't know humans had those at all; I would have thought that with their airplanes and their apparent general desire to get places as quick as they could, that they wouldn't use hot air balloons at all. Obviously, I was wrong, and I flew off in its direction to get a closer look.
And then I had a kind of dilemma, 'cause as I got closer it was obviously above a thousand feet, and since I didn't have my radios with me, I couldn't call for permission to fly up to it, and even though it looked safe and we used to fly up to balloons all the time in Equestria, I didn't want to get in trouble, so I just circled below it, looking up and studying it. And I could see a couple of people inside who were looking down and probably studying me, too.
I probably could have followed it until it landed, but I had better things to do with my time. Still, it was nice to know that humans had them, because it would be a lot of fun to have some of my friends in a balloon and me flying along next to them.
Since I'd been following the drifting balloon, I'd gotten a little off-course, so I turned around to fly home, and on the way I also flew over to Aric's house, and waved at Angela who was sunning herself in the backyard. If she'd waved back, I would have landed, but I think she was asleep, and if she was it wouldn't be nice to wake her up.
I landed on my balcony and checked my Facebook. Aric had sent me a message saying what play they were doing next (I had never heard of it) and he said that people in Lafayette had heard about Gusty's performance and that he'd been basking in some of the reflected glory 'cause he knew me and I knew her.
I told him about the storm and how the electricity had been broken and that was why I hadn't been able to talk to him yesterday. And I told him about my neighbors that I had met, too.
He probably wouldn't get the message until it was late, 'cause of his theatre work.
When I turned on my portable telephone, I had a message from Miss Cherilyn, and she wanted to know if I needed to do any shopping, and I thought that would be a good idea. I'd used all the gauze in the first-aid kit, and there were a lot of other things I needed that I hadn't thought of when I first moved in.
It was so much easier to live in a college dorm. Almost everything you really need is given to you.
So I sent her a telephone telegram back saying that I would like to go shopping and that I needed to be back in time for dinner with Jeff and Caleb and Lindy and Trinity. And it wasn't very long before she said that they were on their way over.
I ate a quick lunch while I was waiting, and then used Facebook to send a message to Meghan and see if she wanted to come over tonight. I thought maybe she would like meeting my neighbors, too, since they were so nice.
Mister Salvatore was a little grumpy, and when we got out of Sienna Miss Cheirlyn said it was because he had been worried while I was stormwatching and then he hadn't heard anything from me so I told her that all my electricity had gone.
She said that hers at home had too and it had been really inconvenient and I guess I hadn't thought of how it might be for a person, but it hadn't really bothered me any.
Then I asked why they hadn't told me about Orlando when they came and visited after my trip, and Miss Cherilyn said that she'd wanted to but Mister Salvatore had said that I didn't need to know that.
I said that I didn't want to know that, but it had happened and I should know it because pretending it didn't happen was insulting. I understand that there are things that you might want to keep from a filly or a colt but even if you want to sometimes you have to tell them that their mom isn't going to come home ever because her ship sank in a storm and we tried our best but it wasn't good enough.
And then Miss Cherilyn turned to Mister Salvatore and whispered to him and I probably wasn't supposed to hear but I did and she said that she'd told him so. And he got even grumpier.
He said that if she wanted to tell me, that was fine, and he was going to go look at power tools and fishing supplies and then see if somebody had accidentally put Playboy magazine with all the other magazines and when we were done making house to come and find him.
When he was out of earshot, I said that I thought maybe he needed a nap.
Well, me and Miss Cherilyn talked while we were getting the things on my list, and she told me more about how there were radical groups that used religion as an excuse to do terrible things, and how difficult it was to balance the freedoms of our country with the security requirementes to keep everyone safe, and then somehow the conversation got turned towards ponies a little bit and she said that when they had first started to come over, their handlers had been with them all the time; there had been three teams for each pony, and there was always one team within view and a second on nearby backup.
But now they gave us a lot more freedom than they had before, and in a way I kind of had the most of all, because I could fly off wherever I wanted and they wouldn't be able to follow me at all. She said that it was good that I had that freedom, but it came with responsibility, and Mister Salvatore wasn't totally sure that I understood about that.
He said that the different teams talked to each other all the time and that one of the ponies in their district had been a real handful and I wanted to know who it was but she wouldn't tell me. I bet it was Cayenne, though.
So I promised that I would try and be a better pony and let them know what I was doing just so they wouldn't have to worry, and they could tell me things.
And then I moved the conversation back to Orlando, and asked if she knew why, and she said that some people hate people who are different than them, and that includes sexual orientation, so maybe that was one reason. And she told me, like Liz had, that some people had a very narrow view of their religious texts and used that to justify hatred, and often times they were goaded on by someone else.
She said that there were people who hated ponies, and some of them had set up computer pages where they could talk about how much they hated ponies, and I asked if the angry man was one of those. She said he wasn't, yet, but she kind of thought he might be. And she told me that they kept a good watch on people they thought were likely to commit violence, but they couldn't always be sure, and so my best option if I found myself in a bad situation was to get away as fast as I could, and if I couldn't to fight my way out. And she said that Mister Salvatore would probably be happier if I never went anywhere alone, and even happier if I had him with me everywhere I went.
I thought that was a little bit extreme.
Then I asked if it was bad to be homosexual, 'cause Gusty was having sex with Nicky and maybe that was why she had tried to keep it a secret on the train.
Miss Cherilyn said that it was legal; whether or not it was moral was up to an individual to decide. She said that some religions prohibited it and others didn't.
Well, when we were all done with shopping, I said I'd trot ahead and find Mister Salvatore, and she told me not to fly in the store, so I kept my hooves on the ground and went looking. It was a like a really big game of hide-and-seek, 'cause there was so much stuff and so many people.
I didn't know where everything was, so I kind of wandered through the store, and I found myself in an aisle with pillows and blankets and other bedding, and I got to thinking how even though it hadn't been on my list it might be nice to have an extra pillow for when Meghan came over so that I would have one to sleep on when I wasn't sleeping on her breasts and I poked at a couple of them with my hoof to see how soft they were, and when I found the one I liked I went and grabbed it with my mouth and just then someone whistled at me and said that he liked my pussy and at first I didn't understand what he was saying, but he kept on talking about what he wanted to do to me even though I wasn't interested in him at all and I clamped my tail down and tried to ignore him but he kept following after me.
The floors in Meijer aren't made for galloping, so I didn't try, but I did pick up my pace to a slow trot and he kept even with me (I was kind of glad he was talking, 'cause I could keep an ear on him and know where he was), and I went past aisle after aisle and I couldn't decide if I should try and lure him out of the store so that I could fly away or go towards other people who might discourage him but then I went around a corner and saw Mister Salvatore and I knew he'd keep me safe so I went straight to him.
At first he had a smile when he saw me coming and then he saw the man behind me and his face got hard and he started going in our direction and the man was so busy concentrating on me that he didn't notice when Mister Salvatore leaned down and said something into his coat, and he didn't notice how he moved his legs as he stepped away from the shelf, and then I was behind Mister Salvatore.
Mister Salvatore asked if there was a problem, and the man who had been following me said that it wasn't any of his business, we were just having a little talk, and Mister Salvatore said that the conversation was over and he had best be getting on his way, and the man said that nobody was going to tell him what to do and tried to push by Mister Salvatore, and a moment later he was on the floor with a knee in his back and Mister Salvatore said that was the wrong answer. And he reached back for his belt and pulled out a pair of silver bracelets that had a chain between them and he put them around the man's wrists and then pulled him back up off the floor, and then he showed him his wallet and the man got kind of pale.
Then Mister Salvatore reached into the foul man's back pocket and took out his wallet and opened it and when he saw his ID, he wrote down everything on it and then he gave it back to the man and said that he was in a bad mood and he didn't really feel like getting in a worse mood by writing up an arrest report and that everyone would be happier if the foul man just left and did his shopping elsewhere and Mister Salvatore said he would be very happy if he never met the foul man again and then he asked if he was being perfectly clear.
The foul man said that he was, and so Mister Salvatore got a key and unfastened the bracelets and told the man to get lost.
He was in a more cheerful mood after that, and we went and picked up my pillow and Miss Cherilyn said I could get a different one instead but I thought I'd kind of earned this one, so she put it in the cart and we went up to the cashier and then out to Sienna with my new things.
I kept on thinking about him while we were driving back, though, and I wondered if maybe Gusty had met a person like him and she'd decided to just wear clothes to help herself fit in. But it was hard to see how that would help; she was still a pony under those clothes.
When we got home, though, I could kind of put it out of my mind as Miss Cherilyn and Mister Salvatore helped me put away my things, and he reminded me to keep my front door locked all the time and then when they were ready to leave he told me that I could call him any time I needed to, even if it was the middle of the night.
Then I hugged both of them and I said that they'd given me a lot to think about, and once they'd gone I set the dreamcatcher out and sat on the balcony until I saw Meghan walking over, and I had to open the door for her 'cause she couldn't just go up on the balcony with me.
Well it was nice to have her with me, and Jeff didn't mind. He introduced me to some of the other people who lived in the neighborhood, and when the kids came out I gave them the dreamcatcher and we played for a little bit but we couldn't use the water-squirters because we might accidentally spray one of the other guests who didn't want to be wet. And Trinity begged me to give her a ride, so I did, but I remembered to tell her not to squeeze my barrel too hard.
Jeff had some tables and chairs where people could sit, and we also could eat standing up. Most of what he cooked was meat, but there were also some vegetables, and they were really good—he'd made ears of corn and green peppers and asparagus and there was a sugary drink called punch that was for the kids and people who didn't bring their own beer.
We stayed over there until it was getting dark, and when I wasn't playing with the kids people were asking me about what I was going to college for and how I liked Kalamazoo and could I really move clouds and could I do magic and if I'd ever met any of the Princesses and some of them used their portable telephones to show me pictures of their stuff, because some humans think that having things is a symbol of their worth.
Before we left, I nuzzled both of the girls (Caleb didn't want a nuzzle) and thanked Jeff for inviting me and I thought that next time I would bring enough beer for me and to share, because that was the friendly thing to do.
I flew up to the balcony so I could open the door and let Meghan in, and she went and put up some curtains just like she'd said she was going to but I insisted that she leave the front windows open and she decided that was okay. But all the windows looking towards Jeff's house and the one in the kitchen were covered, and she closed the door to the bedroom, too.
Between the party and her being over, I'd almost forgotten about the foul man at Meijer, and what little thought I gave to him was pretty quickly gone when I rested my head on my pillow (that still smelled a little bit like Aric) and Meghan put her arm around my barrel and kissed me on the forelock.
This is teh point where someone with a streaming Facebook cam in their chest pocket could lable and identify known criminals and it be added to their sheet before the cop next to them even manages to turn round.
Have you seen the new autonomous fluid logic softbot hydroxypus? Theres so many useful things possible with that design, and given I first saw it in the 80s at university, it means the tech to make it a lot better is vastly more advanced. I wonder how magic based Twilight will look on it relative to her scientific equipment, given its fluid logic, not electronic.
Now waiting for an aerogel dirigible ray form that can float and glide through the air.
Hey Silver, have you seen this new childs inflatable drone that can fly with you.
There is always that one obnoxious jerk.
I asked if it was bad to be homosexual
Miss Cherilyn said that it was legal
Lawful Neutral
a moment later he was on the floor with a knee in his back and Mister Salvatore said that was the wrong answer
Chaotic Good
damn now i wanne read a story about the handler teams that watch over the ponys from their point of view!
Okay, Meghan. Stop making excuses for yourself and do it! Make that pillow smell like you!
You gotta love getting a chance to say that.
sounds like silver is having a vary good time at her new home and meeting new friends.
but there is always one to spoil it.
7513135 I imagine that the first few ponies that came to Earth were a security nightmare. Celebrities?
Of course the Equestrian Guards have stories about the crazy humans who actually wanted to see a timberwolf.
I thought that aliens who came to Earth sightseeing would want to meet Mickey Mouse but then be disappointed that it's a human in a costume.
7513090
I knew there was a reason I liked Cherilyn: she's my peoples. Lawful Neutrals of the world, unite!
Also, it seems SG just can't catch a break at Meijer half the time. I'm surprised she's not developing a dislike for the place.
"And she said that Mister Salvatore would probably be happier if I never went anywhere alone, and even happier if I had him with me everywhere I went."
As a government nerd, I'm still a little torn over what fraction of our fractionated security services would be playing ponysitter. Certainly, there would be a large behind-the-scenes wrestling match for the privilege between the State Department Diplomatic Security Service (as unofficial ambassadors of a foreign power), the Secret Service (as part of their normal protective services), and the FBI (as honored guests but still representatives of a foreign non-allied state). I'd lean to the FBI, as both State's DSS and the Secret Service have very small staff, tightly focused on single tasks, while the FBI is much more flexible, with field offices for support just about everywhere a bunch of pony college students might travel.
Well, for anyone who has a problem with it, the fact that the pony and the human are the same gender would be the last thing on their mind.
That was intensely satisfying to read.
not that way <_<
(Oh, and "any tried" -> "and tried")
'course he did. Just embarrassed to ask.
Every time silver mentions how stuff isn't important I keep thinking of how rainbow dash lives in a castle.
Mr Salvatore must have really enjoyed the chance to take down a slimeball like that.
Hey bozo! You just made a watch list.
7513239
Some chapters ago I asked this question, and Biscuit didn't give a precise answer, but hinted he was leaning toward the State Department.
Some heavy thoughts and harsh truths here, but it's balanced out with happier times. Still, it's not surprising to see that there are anti-pony hate groups out there. Sad, but not surprising. At least Silver handled that creep quite well.
7513090
However, they split differently when it comes to freedom versus security. At least when it comes to Silver.
7513193
I think the other unpleasant store encounter was at
WalmartWalgreens, actually.Edit: Walgreens.
The foul man's name is now on a list. I'd suggest moving to a foreign country -one without close ties to the USA.
For our Lady readers. Mr Salvatore being happier after roughing up someone. It's a guy thing. In our hearts we are all Batman & 3 years old.
Also, you have to be a slack twisted idiot to behave that way in a big store. There are cameras everywhere & it's all on tape.
It seems like there are a few sexual deviants out there just waiting for the right opportunity...
The overprotective papa Wolf is already very ticked offf. DO. NOT. PROVOKE. HIM!
At all...
That was pretty convenient timing for the creep to show up just to illustrate Mr. Salvatore's concerns. Do I smell conspiracy?
...No. No I do not.
Cayenne would be a handful wouldn't she?
And yet, I find myself loving the little minx.
Wonder how she'd handle the creepy pervert at Meijer, though...
7513135 Or even a collection of short stories from different handlers!
It's really fun to wake up to a new chapter of this every morning. Thanks to Admiral Biscuit for keeping this great story going.
7513656
Given her cutie mark, she probably knows some spells to summon something hot or spicy, something that would be very uncomfortable on exposed human skin.
7513718 "So, how did your genitalia got burned again?"
"I swear I don't know doctor! How did she even manage to do that? It wasn't exposed at the time, I swear!"
7513135 If he does he'd better contact me. I might not have ever done mobile close protection (ie bodyguard) but I've done enough venue work that I've done escort and other fun stuff like decoying celebrities out side exits and and whatnot.
I love clearing up mysteries of the security world.
7513090 I don't think that makes Mr. Salvatore chaotic. I'm pretty sure he has the legal authority to do everything he did.
7513656 Now I know the artist calls her 'Pepperstep' and it's anthro but... that's very her.
orig08.deviantart.net/6ea1/f/2015/257/9/0/pepper_step_by_tlatophat-d99l0eh.png
Maybe, the rude man might be happier as a gelding. We should give him the chance to try it, whether he likes it or not.
BAM. Yes, the cute little SG has experience with horrible fates, even of breaking the news to those left behind. She comes from a harsh world, never forget that.
I also remember Mr Salvatore being in the second amendment camp, so inviting discussion on mass shootings is probably not his foremost wish.
I want to know more now. Will the SG be curious enough to dare having a look? I know I would in her place. Against my own better judgement, of course.
The thing with homosexuality in the context of pony-aliens is interesting. For my part I think that a lot of hardliners would immediately condemn Gusty's relationship because of its homosexual nature. That's the knee-jerk reaction I'd expect... unless sapient alien species are already covered in their hate pamphlets, which I kinda doubt. Homosexuality though is a huge red flag.
And a great view of how SG's mind works. The sexual harassment has to be caused by her being a pony, being naked as initiating factor doesn't even cross her mind. Love this.
And we finish with barbecue, pony rides and snuggles. *happy sigh* Great chapter!
her
Also, Mister Salvatore is best handler. He needs a spinoff series where he punches timberwolves in the face.
7513090 More of a Lawful Good. Chaotic Good aims for the face and chest, and tends to smile a little wider when they get an excuse to let loose.
7513008 i have not seen those yet will take a look later, sounds cool. ^.^
7514454 Let's just imagine for a moment that I was intolerant to the point of caring what people and hypthetic alien ponies does in their private time.
I'd be far more horrified at the immorality of an inter-species relation then an homosexual one.
On next week's episode of The Adventures of Silver Glow: Silver goes to the vet to get de-wormed.
I got angry just reading this section. This type of behavior just so happens to trip those particular switches for me. The dude got off pretty lightly, in my opinion.
7514454
Goodness, I hope not. Silver Glow has so little experience with the internet... If she decided to engage the people on those pages after reading them, it would be beyond upsetting for her. Possibly even dangerous. She's been on the internet (youtube videos), people can figure out where she is. Internet haters are like wasps with rabies. Best to avoid poking at them, no matter how well-intentioned you are.
7514916 Yes, but you seem to be a rational person :b
Gosh, just have sex with Meghan or admit love for Aric already! I'm going insane here!
7509349
Not to mention it would be really hard to convey that in this format.
... on the other hand, if the final chapter ended on a really scary cliff-hanger about being about to go out stormwatching, and then suddenly the story is marked "complete".
7513942
The way she holds her hand reminds me of Roy Mustang from Fullmetal Alchemist. And considering what happens when the Fire Alchemist snaps his fingers… Oh, well. One less Meijer's.
7516000
Not to mention it would be really hard to convey that in this format.
Doable, though.
7515216
Now I wonder how Equestrians handle either forms of parasite.
Fukkin cloppers, man.
7513086
Although that technology isn't without its limits. . . .
Is aerogel structural enough? I wonder if you could impregnate it with helium and thus make it into a solid that floats?
Silver Glow vs. a Drone . . . that's gonna happen sooner or later.
7513087
Who at least got what he deserved.
7513090
I think you hit them dead on.
7513135
Probably Cayenne's team has the toughest job. Poor bastards.
7513145
7513156
It was the highlight of Mister Salvatore's weekend.
7513165
Yeah, there's always that one guy. This time, though, she had Mister Salvatore to take care of business for her.
7513181
It would be completely awful to deal with, I would imagine.
I can see some of them being more relaxed than their human counterparts. "Oh, you want to see a timberwolf? Okay, there are some out by the forest's edge. If you need us, just scream.
That would be something that they probably wouldn't get right away. Especially when the information exchange was still pretty spotty. Likely they'd think that anyone in a mascot-suit was a real creature.
7513193
I knew there was a reason I liked Cherilyn: she's my peoples. Lawful Neutrals of the world, unite!
(I usually play chaotic neutral myself).
7513246
That's true, but that's not how Silver Glow thinks.
Teenage boys . . . he'll regret later that he never got that nuzzle.
7513262
Yeah, it's about the most inappropriate house for her ever.
There's a story on the site about how Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash traded houses, which I suppose is as plausible a reason for why RD has that house as any. (Or else she could have gotten it as part of her job--maybe weather managers have government-supplied houses.)
7513276
It's little moments like those that make him happy. He surely enjoyed leaning on the angry man from Walgreen's, too.
7513333
I'm sure that there are hate groups for everything on the internet.
I kind of miss the old days when people just painted angry messages on their barns.
Sometimes walking away and ignoring them is the best thing to do.
7513239
Alternately, all those agencies could be actively campaigning for the privilege of being 'not it', since it's one thing to accompany foreign heads of state, and quite another to be responsible for the safety of irresponsible teenage ponies who are surrounded by irresponsible teenage humans. That's a security detail I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
Probably the best compromise would be to create a new agency, and draw from all three talent pools, so to speak. The more I've thought on it, though, the FBI's probably got the biggest pool of manpower, and they've also got the most field offices. So even if it's an independent agency, making them closely linked to the FBI gives them the access to the most resources.
The office by I-94 where Mister Salvatore and Miss Cherilyn work is the Kalamazoo FBI office.
So the official word, unless I change my mind again, is it's a joint project between the State Department and the FBI. (and also see below)
7513310
With the reasoning that Georg laid out, I'm leaning towards it being a joint arrangement with the State Department and the FBI. I think that the State Department probably has a lot of resources and knowledge that are handy in an exchange agreement with a foreign power (which is probably something that the FBI isn't all that good at) but that the FBI probably has more agents on the ground locally,and probably better working relationships with local law enforcement if they need to beef up their ranks for any reason.
7513345
You are correct.
Fun fact: Kalamazoo didn't have a Wal-Mart until very recently, and (since I personally hate Wal-Mart) I am taking delight in pretending for the story that it simply doesn't exist.
While most of the time things in this story are actually there IRL, the Meijer that Silver Glow went to is across the street from a Wal-Mart . . . in this story, it's an open field, like it was back when I lived in Kalamazoo.
7513355
Cuba used to be a good choice. Now it probably isn't.
A lot of people don't think of those things in the moment. And then they probably wonder why they get caught. . . .
Incidentally, not only does Meijer have security cameras, but they also have a couple of plainclothes loss-prevention officers who wander the floor.
At the shop where I work, this idiot who was apparently unaware that we have security cameras thought he'd vandalize his own car and then sue us for damages or something. We just gave a copy of the camera feed to the police chief and he went off to have a nice little talk with the gentleman and that was that.
7513426
Of course there are.
7513542
Nothing quite as stupid as annoying a grumpy Federal agent.
7513640
It was really only a matter of time before it happened.
7513656
How can you not? She's slutty and cute at the same time.
Probably depend on her mood. She might just wreck him with a spell, or she might take him home with her and break him that way.
Also, out of curiousity, what's going on with your current Lyra avatar? It kind of looks like she's got a potato there.
7513667
Ooh, that would be interesting. Even just a field report could be interesting.
7513718
That would be an option. I wonder how frisky he'd feel if he had hot peppers in his underpants?
7513795
Man, the implications of being able to teleport things places. Never mind hot peppers; how would he feel with an angry weasel in his underwear?
7513819
I shall keep that in mind
7513842
He does, but he probably could have just showed his badge and not tossed the guy on the ground.
7513942
Oh, yeah, that's her to a T.
7513966
In at least one fic, the ponies used to geld rapists. And I've hinted in one of my stories that they used to break horns, too, for certain severe offenses.
7514784
That's how he deals with his frustrations--he takes a vacation to Equestria and punches timberwolves for a week, then comes back.
I dunno, man, the best agents don't show any expression at all no matter what they're doing.
I actually saw a cop like that once in a live-fire exercise, and he terrified me. I was glad I wasn't the bad guy in that scenario, 'cause he was like a machine the way his eyes locked on every potential bad guy for just a second, and when he found the right one he just opened fire without a moment's hesitation.
Also, correction made; thank you!
7514916
See, the thing is that currently more people get worked up about same-sex issues rather than bestiality issues. I suppose it would vary by individual, though. And it could well be because of the current landscape in the US; if there were aliens visiting us there might very well be a huge backlash against interspecies sex.
7515216
If they eat enough grass back in Equestria, this opens three possibilities:
1. They've driven all those types of parasites to extinction one way or another
2. Pony digestive systems kill those types of parasites.
3. De-worming is a routine medical procedure for them, along with being shod and having their teeth filed.
I am considering a side story where someone tries that on Aquamarine when Cedric is around.
What makes him really lucky is that ponies in general seem slow to anger, because if she bucked him odds are she'd get him right in the jewels, and it might take a surgeon to fix what her hooves could do.
Yeah, she totally doesn't get how much bile some people have . . . and that's just in general. If she actively searched out pony hate sites in order to see what they were saying . . . well, to quote an overused meme, she'd have a bad time.
7515854
7516106
Most unicorns probably have better aim than that. Although we've seen that pissed-off Twilight is willing to engage in some scorched-earth battles.
7519739
For the worms, regular de-wormings. Maybe that's one of the treatments the spa offers. "We clean you inside and out."
For the guy at Meijer, a good buck to the junk would change his tune, I'm sure. Probably by at least one vocal range.
7521523