“Gnngghh...” Revan limped out the front entrance to the Stronghold, gripping his aching skull with a hoof. “Why in the frosted hells didn't you tell me about this sooner?!”
“We... we weren't exactly sure what it was at first, Boss Revan!” stammered one of several guards crowded around him.
“Weren't sure what it was?!” Revan spun and shouted in the guard's muzzle, forcing him to fall on his flank. “They tore our headquarters a new flankhole with our own explosives!”
“Boss! S-sorry, Boss!” the stallion trembled. “Please don't blow up my family!”
“With what?!” Revan grumbled. “My eyebrow dandruff?! Those were the last of our ordinance! Guhhhh!” He kicked a nearby metal bulkhead and squinted into the setting sunlight. “Somepony tell me they were actually here to steal something and not just make me look like the king of idiots!”
“You saw one of them, Boss,” another guard said. “That mercenary who brought the midnighter in. Surely he was in on it.”
“That wasn't a mercenary,” Revan seethed. “That was a broken record player in a Verlaxion damn hat. Where's Cold Snap?! Somepony go find that unicorn idiot!”
A breathless guard rushed in from the Stronghold's interior. “Boss, the water's stopped rising!”
“Oh yeah? Where at?”
“The Third Floor, Boss,” he said. “Somepony opened the flood pipes.”
“Well, at least we've got a sprinkle of gold dust atop today's pile of shit.” Revan grumbled. “Find Cold Snap. I need his magic in tracking down our saboteurs.”
“Uhm...” The guard fidgeted. “Cold Snap's unconscious, Boss. And I think someone kicked him in the family jewels.”
“Huh... beat me to it.” Revan squinted. “Wait... how do you know this?”
“I saw him on the fourth floor. He's a sobbing, blubbering mess... and... uhm...” The guard bit his lip, glancing at the others.
“What?!” Revan glared. “Spit out!”
“It's... it's about... uh... the Fourth Floor... uhm...” Nervously, the guard leaned in and whispered in Revan's ear.
Revan stared off. Gradually, his coat paled and his ears folded. He fought off the panic with a loud, hollering voice: “I want every able-bodied stallion to search the lengths of Rust for the mercenary in the hat!” He spun, waving an angry hoof. “He's got to be with the other saboteurs! Bring me them so I can personally feed them their own nutsacks!”
“Sir, one of our guys woke up from being knocked out,” a thug said, trotting up. “Mentioned something about a blue pegasus mare and some griffon dude with a metal arm.”
“Where were they seen last?”
“On the Third Floor. Right where it was flooding.”
“Wait... that means...” Revan gnashed his teeth. “Sonuvabitch... they used the floodpipes to escape!” He broke into a gallop, heading due south. “Follow me! To the Iron District! Two of you! Run to the marina and grab some boats!”
“Yes, Boss Revan!” A pair of guards galloped in the opposite direction as he tore off down the platforms, causing several citizens to glance nervously, fitfully.
“They're dead the moment they try leaving this place,” Revan snarled in mid-stride. “Ungrateful slobbering pissants... I'm the one thing holding this whole damn ocean up!”
“Come on, Feathers,” Rainbow Dash said, hobbling along as she supported the weight of Wildcard leaning against her. The two of them attracted no small amount of curious gazes from the citizens of Rust populating the streets and storefronts all around. “I'm sure it'll be a cozy ride on board the Arrowfish. It'll be just like... a zeppelin! Only, like, on water.” She glanced at him. “You're not allergic to peanuts, are you?”
The griffon merely shuddered. Ocean water leaked out the edges of his goggles.
“Y'know...” Rainbow shifted the weight of her bulging saddlebags and reached for his eyepieces. “Maybe it'd help if you just—”
WHAP! He swatted her hoof away with a metal talon.
Rainbow blinked. “Yeesh.” She picked up the pace, dragging him over a bridge leading to another platform. “Bard's right. You are loud.”
“Freeze!” A young, thin stallion rushed up. He fumbled with his crossbow before aiming the thing at the two, shivering slightly. “Boss Revan says to take you down! So... let's d-do this nice and easy!”
“...” Rainbow smiled. “Easy is right. Easy peasy!” She dropped Wildcard (Thwump!) and rushed forward on blurred wings.
The guard gasped and fired wildly. Th-Th-Thwifft!
Each crossbolt whizzed past Rainbow's body as she galloped, side-stepped, ran up the side of a lamppost, bounced off, and slammed her hoof across the guard's face in the descent.
“OOF!” He spat a tooth out and fell down hard.
“Hah!” Rainbow Dash landed in a squat, still dripping with seawater. “Whew! After nearly drowning, that sure as heck felt goooooo-oo-oo-oo—” She stood up, eyes wide.
Eight stallions rushed up, all equipped with the same standard-issue crossbows and clubs. They shoved gasping citizens aside and growled at the mare. Their shiny weapons raised at the ready.
“—oo-oo-oohhh boy, this is gonna suck,” Rainbow's voice cracked, already backtrotting.
“RAAAUGH!” The group rushed forward. The stallions in front swung their bludgeons while those in the rear let loose a violent barrage of projectiles.
Rainbow Dash side-stepped two swings, ducked a crossbolt, deflected another attack, headbutted a guard, then leaned back—flinching—from another crossbolt. Pting! It ricocheted off her Loyalty Pendant. She blinked, grinning wide. “Hah-HA!” WHAM! A club connected hard with her side, pinballing her over to a rolling stop besides Wildcard. “Mmmfnngh... no fair... not even first inning...” She stirred, looking up with pained eyes.
The seven remaining guards loomed above the two heisters, raising their weapons.
Then, from high above. “YeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeHAAAAA!”
The Syndicate thugs looked up, their unwitting bodies christened with a large shadow.
FWOOOSH! Bard came sailing straight down, wings spread, swinging his staff at full force. WHUDDDDD!
The impact of his weapon against the bridge was so intense that it broke off several decrepit metal panels—which dropped out beneath the guards. “Aaaaaaaaaaugh!” The group of Syndicate thugs shrieked as they fell deep into the drink, sputtering and splashing below.
“Oooof!” Echo shook, slitted eyes spinning as he clung painfully to Bard's backside. “...I want to ride another pony now,” he wheezed.
“Howdy, y'all?” Bard smirked, still recovering from the reverberation of his staff-strike through his muscular frame. “Mind if I dr—”
“That's only cool if you use it beforehoof,” Rainbow said.
“Awwwww.”
“Still...” Rainbow stood up with a frazzled smile. “Thanks a ton.”
“Only wish I did it earlier, but I had to make myself scarce.” The mercenary glanced at Wildcard's waterlogged figure. “Wow, you sure look worse for wear, Dubya-Cee.”
The griffon staggered to his paws, regaining some of his strength. Nevertheless, he struggled slightly before hand-signing a few choice words.
“Really? She did, huh?” Bard smirked at Rainbow, then back at Wildcard. “Reckon she deserves a kiss for that.”
Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Dude...”
“Better yet.” Bard collapsed his staff and adjusted the weight of the sarosian on his back. “Lemme kiss her for ya later.”
“Dude!” Rainbow shrugged, frowning.
“I'll kiss all three of you if you would just get us the hell out of here!” Echo spat.
“Dayum skippy.” Bard nodded. “Got the goods?”
“And then some,” Rainbow said.
“Good.” Bard led the charge. “Let's mosey!”
The three galloped, spread their wings, then glided low over the gasping, gawking crowd.
I sure hope things are going okay on Theanim's end. Haven't seen anything from him since he sold the boat.
Also, WC's already gotten his kiss.
Really starting to wonder what ol' metal beak is hiding under dem goggles...
heh
No. Just shut up. We don't need you following us for 600 chapters.
6235222
orig00.deviantart.net/221b/f/2012/026/a/c/cyclops_says__mother_of_god_by_nebezial-d4np0cp.jpg
6235222
Most likely just an excessive sensitivity to light. You remember how he reacted when RD flashed him with her pendant light.
Or perhaps his eyes are just too beautiful for a commoner to behold.
There's not much time left, for things to go absolutely awfully. So I'm going to assume it'll all work out perfectly! Zombie Shell won't be able to catch up in time!
I wasn't aware that griffon's could do the same natural gender change that clams can. That's neat.
I'm just waiting for Wildcard to tell Bard that Dash is into mares.
That's going to be hilarious I bet. Lots of apologies.
Or maybe Dash doesn't mind cause his drawl reminds her of AJ.
-Memories given light, ease a lonely flight. Ynanhluutr.
6235222 Silvery-blue eyes. Duh.
I would love to see the captain of the Arrowfish demand perfect peace, so you've got Rainbow's crew and a couple of Revan's that are just sitting next to each other making small talk on the way down to Shoggoth.
On a side not, I saw someone suggest Background Pony to someone by advertising it as a "cute and light-hearted" fic. That is some twisted person right there.
Nice save Mr. Bard!
6235273 I'm thinking WC's got eyes like Riddick
6235240
Civie Shell 2.0.
....There is a lot of water to traverse.
i predict that Bard hitting on Dash is going to be a running thing
one that ends in pain for Bard
6235379
oh that's gunna be a cruel shock and a half
EDIT: closest thing i could find to someone calling it "cute and light-hearted" was 6219616 , inwhich he said it had "heartwarming moments"
which it does
6235457 *curls up in corner and tries to forget*
6235222 A hundred bits says they're green.
Is hat title is a reference to that one site people like to link to in the comments when discussing theories? Y'know, that one.
Don't you know Echo?You can't leave the ride, because Mr Bard's Wild Ride never ends.
Going to have to disappoint you there, Casaneighva.
6235379 Bonus points if the Arrowfish pipes elevator muzak into it's passenger space.
How many times has that thing literally saved her neck on this trip up until now?
6235921
It's kinda on her neck? And it is large enough to act like a half breastplate?
Do you want me to go through all of ynanhluutr for the neck saving count, or the entire austraeoh series?
Mister Bard wild ride never ends!
6235273 It's just the cool guy syndrome. He can't ever take his sunglasses off or he'd stop looking badass.
WHY HASNT ANYTHING GONE WRONG YET!
Nuh-uh Bard, she's into mares, isn't it obvious?
No dude, you're holding it down.
6236060
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/ee/96/6f/ee966fc390550a0f26b2f50f96ed1285.jpg
It's going to be hard for Dash to tell Bard the real reason she keeps turning him down with two invisible friends constantly floating within hearing distance. Bard doesn't strike me as somebody who gives up easily either. I have a feeling she's going to be hit on for quite awhile.
We're approaching the point where it all hits the fan.
Time to get to the ship and get the heck out of here. I have a feeling however, that they are going to fight Revan on the boat one last time before this whole thing is truly over.
Those guards sure can shift through those crowded streets, given Dash and Wildcard had a head start along fast flowing water before the alarm was even raised.
Then again, how good is the sound pipes, telecom system if any in this place? Even pneumatic tubes with money, mesages and the occasional wayward hamster?
Bard, nice of you to drop in. Now that the crews all here and airborne, hopefully theyll get to the destination far faster than expected, giving the local guards not enough time to set up a proper ambush.
6235981
Exactly. And it's proved to be a magnet for physical attacks on numerous occasions which is, indeed, rather fortunate. Though it is covering a especially vital area, which makes the literal and figurative 'neck-saving' all the more noteworthy in my mind.
I suppose it may also help that she's particularly petite in this universe. A little extra body coverage doesn't hurt, right?
Now, onto the Arrowship! I feel that Murphey is going to mess something up.
Bard confirmed for best companion since the Jury with every single word out of his muzzle.
6236797 Actually, RoboRed picked up on it here: 6217972
I'm kinda ashamed I didn't realise it earlier. And don't worry, you're not the only one that feels old around here sometimes.
RUN!
6235379
...What kind of monster would do that?
Oh hey, I'm finally caught up. I know for sure though that this isn't the last we've seen of Revan. Will he try pursuing them to Shuggoth? I suppose we'll find out, won't we.
6237761
More pertinent question: how long until the guards conciously realize that their boss can't afford to be the boss?
6235921 I wonder if even the might of AustraeohFactChecker would crumble before such a tough-to-search question. My completely unsubstantiated guess would be seven times. An average of once per book.
And now, escape.
-Spirit (Yeast and Treacle)
It may be disappointing, Mr. Bard, but Rainbow Dash is an expert in all three areas of coolness, radicalness and awesomeness. Its for your own good that you leave the one-liners to the experts.
Bard, dude, you're barking up the wrong tree on this one.
Just trust me.
Nothing ends this damn easy. Like, they're literally flying away into the sunset. Things couldn't be less cliché about them winning! That must mean that shit's definitely about to hit the fan.
She has faced something like ten times this number of Ledomaritan soldiers. Are you trying to tell me that eight random thugs with last millennium weapons is more capable than a platoon of professional killers with far more capable weapons?
6293660
Well, Rainbow Dash did just almost drown. She's got to be completely exhausted from that as well as weighed down by the bars of platinum, so I find it completely reasonable.
Nice of you to drop by, Bard. Your one-liner timing needs work though.
6295567
She once took out the Zombie Cyborg Queen of the Searonese with a broken wing, and just coming out of surgery and fighting a horde of monsters.
Don't worry, it's both.
I could swear this said "swinging his stuff" at first.
Uh, you aren't holding the ocean up. The ocean is holding you up.
Let's blow this popsicle stand and fast!