RIP AND TEAR!!!!!!!!!!!

Alright, mini-review incoming. I don't typically do this, but you look like you could use some help.

First of all, that description. It's... not good, to put it lightly. Many people will instantly assume that this is a trollfic just by reading that. Couple that with the fact that it's filled with errors (you spelled 'quality' wrong, which is ironic), and you have given numerous people a reason to instantly downvote this story.

Next, the story itself. I can see what you're going for, but this is rushed beyond belief. You've given us no backstory whatsoever. And no, the description does not count. Even if the description of a story gives you a semblance of what's going on, it is still your duty as a writer to explain it in the story itself in a way that either comes off as entertaining or hooks the reader. Instead, you've started right in the middle of the story. You need to give us a reason to like your character, you can't just plop us down in the middle of the story without even giving him a proper description or backstory.

Unfortunately, your character also just isn't very likable at all. All you've done is written a character that does badass things and makes one-liners, so he's also a Gary Stu.

Hell, she even manage to bring my armour down to 69.

lol 69 joke guys this is very original. You forgot the 'd' at the end of 'managed', by the way. And writing out numbers numerically instead of alphabetically in a story is generally frowned upon.

Then there's the numerous errors. If this was edited, you didn't do a very good job, no offense. If it's not edited, then you need to go back and either edit yourself or find an editor that can fix it up for you.

Also, uploading a story and immediately placing it on Hiatus is going to destroy your viewership, because that means you wrote the first chapter and instantly ran out of juice. So either that's an error and you meant to mark it 'Incomplete', or you just uploaded a story that you have literally no intention of updating in the near future.

It's good i want to know why Tia put him in the rock

7226835 Well, either way, thanks for pointing these things out for me. You're only helping me and reminding me on how things should have worked out. Then again, I'm trying not to give any spoilers that will ruin the chances of playing and experiencing the game itself. Also, first time ever doing these kinds of fics, seeing as how many view Displaced fics, as somewhat good, or bad, depending on their opinion.

Not to mention, this has been stuck on my mind, and I basically wanted it out. Although, in doing so, made me rush the whole damn thing. Sorry for that, as I'm tired right now, which made it even worse, considering what I had to do in real life. So yeah, I'll be doing some more for this chapter, somehow. Taking your advices, again, thank you.

7226904 Thank you for actually taking it to heart, that's more than most people on this site can say. If I came off as rude or condescending at all in it, I apologize. I haven't given a review in a while and I'm used to just joking around about every new story that comes out with my friends, regardless of quality.

And if you ever want any help, feel free to PM me or add me on Skype (on my page).

7226913 Yeah, I need help with this. Could you help me please?

7226835 You fell for the bait, friendo.

7226935 What are you talking about?

more plz

7227195 Do I know a game I've been playing since the day it came out in 1993? Gee, I wonder.

That's not a good excuse, even the DOOM comic books delved deeper into the story and made it their central focus because they knew that since it was a form of written media, it needed one. The new Doom had a story. Doom 3 had a story. Even the original DOOM and DOOM II: Hell On Earth had stories. Just because they didn't make said stories the central part of the experience doesn't mean that it's fine for an author to do that as well.

7227195
7227206

While that may be true, it still has a storyline with it. Seventh Heaven is right, there is a legitimate story behind it all. We just get so caught up in the killing spree, that we start losing sight on what it was originally about. Killing is only half the fun, delving into the lore behind it completes the circle.

Remember: One half cannot survive, without the other half.

7227286 Yeah, I remember. But do you know why? Why was he fighting?

7227301 Doomguy was fighting because he had punched a senior officer in the face after said officer tried to force him to fire upon people he knew were innocent. As punishment, he was sent to Mars just before the demonic invasion occurred.

He died at the end of Episode I: Knee Deep In the Dead, and fought to get out of Hell.

7227275 Doom 3 is only horrible to people who can't accept change. It was a good game, even if it was slower-paced and more focused on horror than the original games were.

7227314 Not to mention, Morality wise.

Oh look, today's cringe has arrived.

7227432 You know, I was shown a video about another shitty Doom fic before I found this one. All I thought at the end was it's only a matter of time before some wayward soul inflicts the displaced cliche on this game.

I love it sooooooooooooo bloody so much FUCKING GORE HELL YESSSSS HAHAHA

YESSSSSSSSSSSS MORE BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD OF KORNE MMMMMMOOOOOOORRRRRRREEEEEEE. RIP AND TEAR UNTIL NOTHING IS LEFT. UNTIL THE BLOOD IS GONE INTO THE RIVERS OF HELL!!!!!! MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MAKE US WHOLE ISSAC! MAKE US WHOLE!! JASON WILL COME FOR ALL OF YOU AND YOU WILL ALL REPENT FOR YOUR SINS!!!!!!!! PINKAMINA IS COMING FOR US ALL!!!

7230628 ... Goddammit.

7230638

7230638 what?

7230638 blame my dark psyche

7230647 I know you're excited about all of this, and to be frank, I kinda am too. More or less.

7227319 i own it on steam granted i only used cheats and havent ever got half way through without subconcesly exeting like i do with system shock two

7230660 Wait, there are cheats?

7230657 again blame the (for lack of a more discriptive word) hellish side of my personality.

7230670 yes see anytime a find out there are cheats for a game i have i am compelled to use them for what ever reason

7230676 ... I did not know that. And I've completed the game. I'm going back through it trying to find the secrets and such I haven't found or done.

I guess im just realy excited because after looking for days this is the first doom fic i found

7230688 dude like almost every game has cheats usualy put in by the debelpers in secret hell heven knights of the old republic has them

7230699 Jesus! I just thought only certain types of games have them, not most of them.

7230703 yeah just about all pc games have them see the coding teams sorta just slip them in. skyward sword also has them but its messing the fuck out of your save file which is a diffrent method

7230703 hell fucking mario 64 has them. Mario fucking 64!

7230762 Oh, on PC. Sorry, I'm on console.

7230812 well some console games have them but its rare

7230852 That's true.

7230812 wait how did this transition from my dark psyche to video game cheats?

Quick question the doom marine in the new game. He is the original doom guy right? Its not really explaned or al least to my knowladge it isint. im only going of markipliers play through since i dont have the game or a pc that can run it.

7230875 Well, the UAC send in a expedition team to go look for artifacts and relics, while fighting fighting off Demons, since they were in Hell. They found some Tombstones, upon which the Doom Marine was within, and brought them back.

He and his suit were in separate tombs, and the mark you see in his tomb and on his helmet is his own. Known as The Doom Slayer, as the Demons labelled him. There are Codex Testaments in Hell you'll find that explains his deeds, during his time in Hell.

The UAC just dubbed him Doom Marine. When they opened up his tomb, he was found sleeping, and they couldn't wake him up. Argent energy was also protecting him from them inflicting harmful tactics on him.

7230911 soo thats a yes and a no?

7230917 More like it's unclear, upon whether it is Doom guy, or not.

7226935

This wasn't a trollfic. The author just needs help, as is very common with Displaced/LOHAV fics. No bait.

DOOM MARINE IS BACK BITCHES!!!!

HAIL THE KING OF SLAYERS!!!!!!

7231519 i direct you to my second comment ot sould be at the end of this page its all bold have fun

7231526 bold...
Mine is double in size with unbolded letters and in blood red color, So i win

7231717 FOR NOW YOU DO

7231848 excellent. ...

..........

Soooooo......

Friends?

7232044 YESSSSS THE RIVERS OF HELL WILL RUN RED WITH THE BLOOD OF OUR FOES!

this another of those"tia want peaceful land! you peaceful, you go into statue/tomb/tartarus"? As long as she gets her ass beaten the hell up, I'm okay with that.