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Shinka24

Shinka24 Joined 3rd Mar, 2022 · Offline

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He was just a man, who lost everything, but in the cold hug of death, a second chance is given to him and now he will make sure to enjoy it, while evading isekai tropes.
Chapters (10)
Incomplete Published: May 13th Download
66,401 words
Comments ( 34 )
Ralanost
Ralanost #1 · May 14th · · · Chapter 1: Thing happened, a lot. ·
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Two things. Calling his pony birth parents his adoptive parents is confusing and incorrect. And look up Stockholm Syndrome. That didn't happen here.

Otherwise not a bad start.

Shinka24
Shinka24 #2 · May 14th · · · Chapter 1: Thing happened, a lot. ·
Reply

11903183
Yeah, ik, what i mean for the thing of calling is pony birth parent his adoptive parent is because he didn't recognized them as his parent until that moment and for the Stockholm syndrome, i mean it like he became attached to them not only for his interaction with him but also because they were the only people he saw for most of the time, not counting his nanny or other kids, that's why i said "a little because of Stockholm syndrome".

Ralanost
Ralanost #4 · May 14th · · · Chapter 1: Thing happened, a lot. ·
Reply

11903318
Stockholm Syndrome involves a hostage and their captors, usually there is abuse involved. Is being a child with parents a hostage situation? Were his parents abusive? If not then this is nothing like Stockholm Syndrome.

Nonnyaddic69
Nonnyaddic69 #5 · May 14th · · · Prologue ·
Reply

Intersting start fav liked and followed ;)

Aiwhisper
Aiwhisper #6 · May 15th · · · Chapter 1: Thing happened, a lot. ·
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Not bad so far. You probably don’t need that bit at the front every chapter or at least put it in the author box as it might be considered word padding.

Aiwhisper
Aiwhisper #7 · May 15th · · · Chapter 2: Schooldays ·
Reply

Another nice chapter. Will be interesting to see what kind of relationship you give the two after not showing it for so many years.

Ralanost
Ralanost #8 · 4 weeks ago · · · Chapter 3: Ponyville ·
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I feel like English isn't your first language? No problem with that, but it means you could do with some extra proofreading. Early on you mention Twilight putting a helmet on Platinum's face. Pretty sure you meant hoof. And you have ponies with paws a lot. Those should be hooves. That's just what I remember.

Shinka24
Shinka24 #9 · 4 weeks ago · · · Chapter 3: Ponyville ·
Reply

11908063
Is more than sometimes i forgot what they have, like i'm not used to write mlp fics, more about human fics and is kinda weird, and i kinda forgot to change it after finished this chapter, because it was a very long chapter

DareBoy
DareBoy #11 · 3 weeks ago · · · chapter 4: the ticket master ·
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I can’t wait for the next chapter. I just love how you’re writing your character. 👍

RyRy
RyRy #12 · 2 weeks ago · · · Chapter 5: Applebuck Season ·
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you keep mixing up your gendered pronouns. you use 'he' and 'his' for applejack several time in this chapter. and I think you've done similar in past chapters

Shinka24
Shinka24 #13 · 2 weeks ago · · · Chapter 5: Applebuck Season ·
Reply

11916843
Seriously? Oh man, i didn't notice it. Thanks for telling me!

616e6f6e
616e6f6e #14 · 2 weeks ago · · · Prologue ·
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So, to make sure I'm not, I have to stay away from the main characters.

Was going to drop the story here but you convinced me to stay with that line.

616e6f6e
616e6f6e #15 · 2 weeks ago · · · Chapter 7: Platinum vs baby bear ·
Reply

dhow off is not one of them

show off

I did not expect you to parrot espisodes with an OC put in it where end result is no differnt than canon... as if the OC did practically did not change anything in grand scheme.
Do not let my comment break your spirts, it merely my observation. You can do something about it as much as you can keep going and ignore this comment.

GeneraLeeDiscord
GeneraLeeDiscord #16 · 1 week ago · · · Prologue ·
Reply

Gleaming armor? Don't give your hope up he's just a guard. There not limited to just canterlot

GeneraLeeDiscord
GeneraLeeDiscord #17 · 1 week ago · · · Chapter 3: Ponyville ·
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Stop swinging helmets around your going to hurt someone!

noxa442
noxa442 #18 · 1 week ago · · · Chapter 3: Ponyville ·
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Just as he was about to open his mouth to continue this endless argument, he suddenly stopped and raised his head, squinting from what I could see, and before I could say anything, he disappeared. Most likely to the direction where Twilight and the others were.

*SHE

noxa442
noxa442 #19 · 1 week ago · · · Chapter 6: Griffon and platinum have a talk. ·
Reply

"Eh... preparing beforehand, not bad Princess ," I said after I finished reading the book a bit and not understanding anything it said, as I had never been interested in history in general.

Before-hoof*

noxa442
noxa442 #20 · 1 week ago · · · Chapter 6: Griffon and platinum have a talk. ·
Reply

"Of course," while I don't regret my actions, I regret letting my anger get the better of me, there were better ways to act in that situation. "What I did was childish, impulsive and careless of me to physically assault her." Better it would have given her nightmares. "And I'm sorry I lost control."

Childlish => Foalish

GeneraLeeDiscord
GeneraLeeDiscord #21 · 1 week ago · · · Chapter 7: Platinum vs baby bear ·
Reply

I have grown quite fond of this little town. While it's not a large town, it falls more in the category of a large town than a town if you ask me

Are you have dyslexia? The first half and last part feel like they should be swapped. I'm enjoying the story but every now and again you manage to confuse me with this sort of wording

GeneraLeeDiscord
GeneraLeeDiscord #22 · 1 week ago · · · Chapter 8: Runes and a dragon too. ·
Reply

...the ability to use ambient magic is a vary dangerous ability to have. This dude's going places that I don't think even he knows he's going to

Luckyfanisaac
Luckyfanisaac #23 · Last Tuesday · · · Chapter 1: Thing happened, a lot. ·
Reply

What does that have to do with anything, you may ask? Well, it's simple. It means I'm in Canterlot, or Cancelot, or whatever how does it his name, which puts me close to one of my favorite characters, Twilight Sparkle.

And here I thought they were in the Crystal Empire.

I tried to take it from her by force but obviously I couldn't, I was or rather am a colt I couldn't even reach her, so I could only give her a look or a pout as I imagined taking the spoon from her.

Anyway, as I was saying, all the critters of this realm can use magic but in different ways and different uses.

Seriously, all it took was for her to put her paw on her, give her a look, and wham, Twilight calmed down.

You mean hoof?

Main mission: Avoid Twilight Sparkle at all costs: Failed.

Luckyfanisaac
Luckyfanisaac #24 · Last Tuesday · · · Chapter 2: Schooldays ·
Reply

...meh, she will be fine.(——

"Because it's a task given to me by Princess Celestia,(——" proudly proclaimed young Twilight.

"Well, that's not for you to decide, princess.(——" I said and then walked away towards my house.

Luckyfanisaac
Luckyfanisaac #25 · Last Tuesday · · · Chapter 3: Ponyville ·
Reply

I raised my hoof to answer her, but stopped myself as I reflected on what she said.

as she quickly removed her hoof from my now slightly drooling mouth. "Did you just lick me?" she asked incredulously.

:rainbowlaugh:

proceeded to walk towards the cowgirl mare, "Well, let's get this over with,(——" she said as she raised her head again and we followed her.

It was funny until she tried to do the same with me, something about my cloak and hat being out of style or something, and only stopped after hearing we were from Canterlot.

while we're in Ponyville, and my poor baby dragon needs sleep,(——" at that, Spike whined saying

the best we can do is wait and pray that things are not that bad,(——" with a smile, I offered her a science book that I saw was in the pile of books I attracted.

With a small smile, she said,(—— "You'll still have to teach me this spell, you know?"

"Oh, oh! I love guessing games! Is she hiding?" said Pinkie Pie as she looked around.

"Oh, oh, more guessing games. Um... Pokey Smokes, or how about Queen Meanie? No! Black Snooty, Black Snooty...!" said Pinkie only to be silenced by Applejack.

"And I know who you are, you're the mare in the moon, Nightmare Moon,(——" Twilight finished saying.

At Twilight's fearful look, the mare just laughed evilly and said, "Remember this day, little ponies, because this will be the last time, from this moment on, the night will reign forever!" she said before laughing villainously as her fur went crazy.

she throws me to the ground only to leave again.

As soon as your friends arrive, they will witness your swift demise.“(——

she suddenly stopped and raised his head, squinting from what I could see, and before I could say anything, she disappeared.

At that, the crystals reacted to her words and rose up, much to the moon mare's disbelief.

"Applejack, who reassured me when I had doubts: she represents the spirit of honesty!" said Twilight confidently, to which one of the broken crystals surrounded her.

Luckyfanisaac
Luckyfanisaac #26 · Last Tuesday · · · chapter 4: the ticket master ·
Reply

"I've told you before Spike, it's for the creation of a new form of magic,(——" I said without taking my eyes off my notebook as with my magic I held an open book with a spell I was trying to pierce, or rather adapt.

"Thanks, I hope I'm not interrupting anything,(——" Fluttershy says as she gives me a shy smile looking at all the books lying around along with several of my notes and some objects.

"But...it's the Grand Galloping Gala! How could you possibly not want to go?" She said as she looked at me, not taking the tickets from my hoofs.

"Uhh... phew, looks like Twilight's magic wasn't controlled,”(—— considering Spike's appearance.

"That's right," added Fluttershy as she flew over to us, offering her support. "It's terrible how I, how all of us—" hey, don't include me in that group, "—made you feel bad."
(New paragraph)
"And so did I! It's no fun picking on a friend!"

gut, "now that if I'm going, you have to go too Platinum,(——" Twilight finished, standing practically in front of me.

to which I sighed and grabbed the ticket. "Fine, I’ll go."

Luckyfanisaac
Luckyfanisaac #27 · Last Tuesday · · · Chapter 5: Applebuck Season ·
Reply

We were planning on throwing her a party to show our appreciation for Applejack."

"You're still going through with that? I thought you were done with it,(——" Twilight said as I could tell she was looking away,

"Well... no," Spike finally admitted with a sheepish grin at my amused look, "but, Platinum, you can tell me! It's been a while since we've spent time together," he added sheepishly, with a hopeful look in his eyes.

Awwww

"I guess friendship it is magic," I chuckled a little to myself as I walked out of the library.

before smiling in a state that told me she hadn't slept in a long time, I could tell,

and Granny Smith who is not old enough not to do these jobs again, then Applejack has to do all this work alone.

After a while of apple picking, I could hear Applejack say, "How about y'all take a little break? I got some fine apple juice waiting for ya!“(——

"Girls, and boy," she said, directing that last part to me, "I can't thank you enough for this help. I admit I was acting a little stubborn-"

"Don't worry girls, thanks to someone-" she said looking daggers at me, to which I just smiled, "put me to sleep, I'll be able to help you with those no problem." She finished his sentence then looked at all of us with a soft look. "You know, I know the city gave me an award for most appreciated pony, but my real award is having friends like you guys,(——" she said to which then we all proceeded to drink some of the juice Applejack brought us.

As I followed him, I heard a voice stop me, "Looks like you listened to my advice,(——" you know Twilight, it seems in this episode you are willing to stop me for anything.

Luckyfanisaac
Luckyfanisaac #28 · Last Tuesday · · · Chapter 6: Griffon and platinum have a talk. ·
Reply

"Are you seriously doing this to me, Twilight?”(—— I said looking at her with a blank stare, to which she just shrugged indifferently as she stuck her tongue out at me childishly.

I pondered her words a bit, then shook my head, "No, it's perfect just the way it is."

That means that she's thinking of talking about it with the girls.(——

Pinkie just continued walking as she said, "Maybe Twilight is right,(——" at that, I just raised my eyebrow as I followed her,

I really don't know, so I simply decided to keep her company until I went home or until she said something, whichever came first.

"And also dangerous, Granny Smith is not in the age to get played with that kind of 'prank' anymore,(——" I said in agreement, frowning as I continued to stare at the gryphon.

"No, no, I can't misjudge her. It was kind of a funny joke, I guess,(——" at that,

I don't know how things work from where you come from, but what you did is unforgivable.

I said as I watched her figure disappear into thin air.

Could it have been because of my magic? Though I've never heard of unicorn magic responding like this before.

felt pretty tired after the incident and besides,

Luckyfanisaac
Luckyfanisaac #29 · Last Tuesday · · · Chapter 7: Platinum vs baby bear ·
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At the question, I couldn't help but stop and think. "Counting the spells I created, about 35 or so." Even though I've focused the last few years on creating my runes and Glyphs, it doesn't mean I haven't found time to study and learn magic that already exists, part of that I know I owe to Twilight and my parents.

it looks like that carriage does its show but it also lives there.

After a well-deserved snack, I returned to the library and entered it, immediately spotting the lavender unicorn who was reading a book.

"Oh, of course you can do that,(——" I said sarcastically to then jump out of the way of his teleporting bite.

"Come on boy, follow your daddy,(——" I said sticking my tongue out at him and then running off, with him following close behind.

was the reason she kept me alive for so long,

she said with a frown looking at me with anger and concern evident in his eyes, only to have them soften and give me a small hug. "I'm glad you're okay."

"ah, thank you Twilight,(——" I said as I patted her back. I would hug her back if I wasn't so tired.

"It was Snails and Snips fault,(——" Twilight answered me, as she gave a sigh of resignation

Luckyfanisaac
Luckyfanisaac #30 · Last Tuesday · · · Chapter 8: Runes and a dragon too. ·
Reply

I smiled at the obvious sign of jealousy and patted his head, "Don't think too much of it Spike, you know Rarity is a very generous pony and besides, she gave it to me to match the cape she gave me.”(—— I said, giving him an encouraging smile.

So, why are we here in the park?"

"Sleeping. According to Princess Celestia he's taking a nap. His snoring is what's causing all this smoke."

"I'll tell you what we're supposed to do: give him a boot,(——" I sighed in exasperation upon hearing the less-than-ideal suggestion from the blue Pegasus.

Now, how do I explain it... ah, I know. "Fluttershy, what do you think he courage is?" I said with a soft but loving tone in my voice.

"Close,(——" I said as I put a hoof on her shoulder, causing her to look at me surprised but not scared, which is a good sign.

Before Spike could say anything else, the rabbit, taking advantage of Spike being distracted, moved

After a few seconds, we separated and I looked outside to see the Pegasi cleaning up the black smoke.

Platinum is for the advice you gave me before I went to the mountain."

Mix-up
Mix-up #31 · Saturday · · · Chapter 8: Runes and a dragon too. ·
Reply

Fun story so far, keep it up.

DareBoy
DareBoy #32 · 20 hours ago · · · Chapter 8: Runes and a dragon too. ·
Reply

Oh god I need my next hit of this amazing fix. Please only a very few fic’s get me this invested. I actually like this oc. Such a well rounded character. Some grammatical errors but I don’t care it’s just that good. P.S I’m just joking I’m not that impatient. Can’t take a cake out before it’s baked.

Luckyfanisaac
Luckyfanisaac #33 · 15 hours ago · · · Chapter 10: Sleepover ·
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And thirdly, to give variety and see how well it works on diamonds, Emeralds,(—— and sapphires. Each crystal has a different ability to absorb magic, which makes it unique but interesting at the same time.

I could wait for him to return, but I'd rather send the letter to Princess Celestia at once.

"Well, now I have more reason to go home,(——" I said to myself with a small smile and then looked with a frown at the shredded letter on the floor.

"Worst timing in the world, Darn Pegasus," I grumbled to myself as I covered my backpack with my cloak and started walking back home.

I nod with a small smile, "Thank you for your understanding." I said to this time finally head to my room.

I couldn't help but sigh in relief as I looked at her, "Thank Celestia, don't worry me like that!" then proceeded to give her a hug.

"Oh, cute. Where did these come from?" said Twilight finally looking up from her book. "They're not in the book either,(——" oh for crying out loud.

"We look forward to having you again." Twilight said, before an obviously enthusiastic idea came up. "Oh, next time we can ask Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy,(—— and Rainbow Dash to join us!"

me." She said and then frowned a little. "Although I'd still like to know why you couldn't join us at the beginning of the sleepover, did something happen?"

I hope you are fixing these errors.

Fun1901
Fun1901 #34 · 9 hours ago · · · Chapter 10: Sleepover ·
Reply

It's one of the awkward things that have happened with him, although it wasn't as awkward as that time he said "dad" to me one day when I went to see him.

Well you and Twilight did raise him so it would make sense, maybe one day it be official.

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