"Buried... not many of us will ever get that honor... but we few will die below ground... never see the light of day or the beauty of night... as we deserve,"- Krieg engineer
Well this is a surprise but a most welcomed one. Oh Sweety Belle what the hell where you thinking? Truly your way to naïve, ignorant and cuddled here. It was a surprise for the Krieg to not kill a threat but I’m sure he’ll have a chance to correct when/if that leader comes looking for him. It’s safe to say the Krieg is in his kinds version of hell, wonder what the locals will do when they see him
When inspiration strike, it's good to ride it out. Who know how long it'll last ?
The sparing is a nice touch. I mean... just because you're born to fight doesn't mean you can't spare someone. Especially when you end up in such a colored world.
A few mistakes here and there, and I'd recommend to use commas a bit more to let some long descriptions breathe a little, but it's overall rather nice !
Cursing in his mind at the Equines actions he unknowingly moved his hand to his last pistol at his side pushing the leather strap holding it in place down with his thumb.
laspistol
Blood roared to the leader's lips before falling back onto the ground rips broke while the metal chest plate was bent forward. This caused all witnessing the event to go wide-eyed from the swift action, placing his foot down hard on the pawed hand of the leader who screamed in pain the Tunnelratte placed the tip of his bladed shovel on the fallen's throat.
I think I get what you were trying to say: Blood sprayed from the leader's lips as he soared through the air before falling back to the ground, ribs broke while the metal chestplate was bent outward.
'Holy emperor forgive for my transgression on life but please... why in your holy name was I sent to this place?'
If I were him I would turn back kill those Diamond Dogs if and when because they'll come back for Revenge Death krops krieg never Retreat Never Surrender
11137720 yes this is heaps better than some of your other stuff. if ya need an edito im down to do some. no promises to be perfect but i could probably catch some stuff
11138744 I'd be up for a bit of editing help if you need. I'm no native speaker, but I'd be glad to help... and I do spend a lot of time on the english web
Honestly I've actually tried to write something like this but for the life of me I couldn't get it out. Probably because I used ponies instead of Anthro or Humanized, something to keep in mind for when I take another swing at the idea.
11138066 Preach it but I’m sure they will come and after they become corpses the Krieg will tell the kids that being the bigger person and showing mercy to one’s enemies is stupid and will come back to bite you on the ass later
11139852 He’s done lots of 40K stories before, only problem is said stories either got taken down by the site for one stupid little reason or another or his brat of a cousin takes them down himself
Well this is a surprise but a most welcomed one. Oh Sweety Belle what the hell where you thinking? Truly your way to naïve, ignorant and cuddled here. It was a surprise for the Krieg to not kill a threat but I’m sure he’ll have a chance to correct when/if that leader comes looking for him. It’s safe to say the Krieg is in his kinds version of hell, wonder what the locals will do when they see him
KRIEG! KRIEG! KRIEG! KRIEG!
i like what i am reading
When inspiration strike, it's good to ride it out. Who know how long it'll last ?
The sparing is a nice touch. I mean... just because you're born to fight doesn't mean you can't spare someone. Especially when you end up in such a colored world.
A few mistakes here and there, and I'd recommend to use commas a bit more to let some long descriptions breathe a little, but it's overall rather nice !
You and me both, i also played with the thought of a guardsman sparing a pony.
And you got an interesting take, i always wondered how Krieg guardsmen look under their mask
laspistol
I think I get what you were trying to say: Blood sprayed from the leader's lips as he soared through the air before falling back to the ground, ribs broke while the metal chestplate was bent outward.
Feel like there should be a me after 'forgive'.
If I were him I would turn back kill those Diamond Dogs if and when because they'll come back for Revenge Death krops krieg never Retreat Never Surrender
11138047
Thanks again… god I need a editor so bad
11137720
yes this is heaps better than some of your other stuff. if ya need an edito im down to do some. no promises to be perfect but i could probably catch some stuff
That is no mere shovel, in the hands of a krieg guardsman it is a digger of doom
i.imgflip.com/63gyj5.jpg
11138621
I am returning this weekend for some new paint and new replacement brushes
11138202
I would be grateful for any help no matter how small
11138744
I'd be up for a bit of editing help if you need. I'm no native speaker, but I'd be glad to help... and I do spend a lot of time on the english web
11138966
Again any help would be a huge help
Honestly I've actually tried to write something like this but for the life of me I couldn't get it out.
Probably because I used ponies instead of Anthro or Humanized, something to keep in mind for when I take another swing at the idea.
11139134
Indeed and to be honest anthro or humanized versions of mlp characters are better then talking animal ones
11138066
Preach it but I’m sure they will come and after they become corpses the Krieg will tell the kids that being the bigger person and showing mercy to one’s enemies is stupid and will come back to bite you on the ass later
11139852
He’s done lots of 40K stories before, only problem is said stories either got taken down by the site for one stupid little reason or another or his brat of a cousin takes them down himself
K I sent u the edits I’d suggest, just waitin on a response
11139875
who's his cousin?
11140360
A little shit that never leaves him alone when he was living with his horrible excuse of a mother, but now he’s free from them
The word you're looking for is 'abhuman'.
11160668
Looks like I need to update my personal Grammarly dictionary
*you're
All I can say is: „No you author.“
11244073
Rude
i think the death korps of krieg worship shovels
(Help by Google Translate)
Your novel reminded me of this.
pbs.twimg.com/media/FmRYbHYaMAI0xN8?format=jpg&name=4096x4096
And for some (many) reasons, this is the cover of this novel in my head. Replace with applejack
img2.reactor.cc/pics/post/Mick19988-artist-Death-Korps-of-Krieg-Astra-Militarum-7804469.jpeg
There's a bit more to the cartoon if you're curious.
Here's the link. - https://twitter.com/Mick19988