“Sweet Celestia.”
Cheerilee peeked out of the small crack of the schoolhouse door, scanning the scenery before her. The usual view of thatched-roof cottages, vibrant green grass and blooming flowers between the playground equipment greeted her. Though the differences between the normal view from the door and the scene she saw now stood out more than the similarities.
Corpses littered the street, all ponies she knew. Her stomach turned and roiled as she screwed her eyes shut and fought the urge to go back to hiding. Blood stained the grass and the dirt path, dried and almost black now in the hot midday sun. It had been some time since it was spilled, and the bloated and sometimes burst open bodies of the ponies in the street only attested to that more and more.
“What’s going on?” A little orange head with a wild purple mane poked out from behind the schoolmare, wide eyes looking around the carnage before them. “I-” Words caught in the filly’s throat as she clung to one of the rear legs of the grown mare.
“It’s okay, Scootaloo.” Cheerilee turned around, embracing the filly and holding her close. She stroked the little pegasus’ mane and made quiet shushing noises in hopes of calming her. It was about as easy on Cheerilee to see that kind of scene either, but she had to be strong for her student.
They both had heard the screams over the last several weeks, of course. Cheerilee had some idea of what was happening out here, but she didn’t think it would be quite this bad. Whatever had caused all of this, or whatever did it, was more dangerous than she could ever imagine.
The mare’s stomach growled loudly, reminding her why they had finally decided to come out of the school’s basement.The store of food had run out in the basement, leaving the two taking shelter there in desperate need of sustenance after a few days without any.
Her father had been something of a doomsday prepper, constantly stocking their home with supplies and food, something Cheerilee had taken up as well. After Nightmare Moon had returned, she had moved her stores to the tornado shelter underneath the schoolhouse. It had let her survive Discord, Tirek, and various other little horrors that had afflicted Ponyville over the years. It had been awhile since she restocked though, so instead of being able to bunker down for close to a year, they lasted only a few weeks.
When this all started, Cheerilee had been tutoring Scootaloo after school. The telltale signs of an unexpected and dangerous event started to show, namely large amounts of screaming and panic. She had quickly taken her student into her bunker to wait it all out.
That was almost four weeks ago now.
With a deep breath and some calm thoughts to soothe her shot nerves, she released Scootaloo from her grasp, opened the door a little more and stepped out into the dangerous new world she found herself in. She did her best to keep her eyes off of the faces of the ponies on the ground, their faces twisted in agony. Scootaloo kept her face buried in Cheerilee’s side, not wanting to see the bodies around them.
All of their names flashed through her mind; Derpy, Lily, Octavia, Twist, Rose. All of them right outside of her door. Neighbors, friends, and students were all gone now. No longer ponies, just bodies. Just lifeless corpses now, colorless and without spirit.
Cheerilee didn’t quite gallop out of her house, too terrified of the prospect of making too much noise and not wanting to lose Scootaloo in the process. Instead she walked as fast as she could, minding her hoof placements and the filly sticking to her side. Her body pressed against the rough exterior of the house next to hers, Rarity’s parents. Her coat was already damp with sweat from stress and nerves.
“Food...where should we go?” She mumbled to herself, trying to think through the bevy of prey instincts still firing off in her head and telling her to run or hide. The store was the obvious choice, but if anypony had been out here before her then it was probably already raided. Did she want to take that chance or try something else?
“Miss Cheerilee, I’m really hungry.” Scootaloo complained as her little stomach rumbled and growled, Cheerilee’s own growling in response as well.
“I know.” She spoke through clenched teeth at her student’s near-starving body. It wasn’t in the best shape right now, skin already starting to cling to her ribs and her once lustrous purple mane and orange coat faded and greasy.
Cheerilee wasn’t in much better shape. She had let Scootaloo have the last of the food, just wanting to keep the filly as healthy as she could for as long as possible. Cheerilee could feel that her strength was waning considerably already. Celestia knew her body wasn’t in better shape either. A few times when she had gone up to see what was happening outside, she had to hold the door closed while something battered it with all the strength it had. Once something had even punctured the door and caught her side, leaving her with a shallow but painful wound in her side.
Some TLC would be wonderful right about now, but it wasn’t in the cards. If she was lucky and the world could wait this all out, then maybe she could take care of herself in the future. She had already gone a few weeks without a proper cleaning and the last week or so without food, what was a little while longer? Patience was a virtue after all.
Out of habit the once-teacher looked up in the sky to gauge the time, forgetting that it was a worthless unit of measurement anymore. From her home she had seen that the sun hadn’t set in almost a week now, perpetually stuck at the zenith of its arc. If she had to guess with her internal clock, it had to be somewhere around ten o’clock at night...not that anyone could tell.
She continued her slow trek through town, head and ears on a swivel as she clung to what little shadows the overhead sun allowed. There was nothing in town, no movement or sounds, just more bodies of ponies she knew and loved. So many houses had their windows or doors broken, their occupants either directly outside or a short distance away...more than likely gotten while running away.
“Wait…” Cheerilee was near the town hall now, and she had traveled a few streets over in about twenty minutes. She had seen dozens of bodies by now, but something stood out.
“Where are the unicorns?” Scootaloo finished Cheerilee’s thought for her. A shiver was sent up the teacher’s spine as she thought about all of the bodies that they had seen so far.
Out of all of the ponies she had seen strewn across town, none of them had a horn. In fact, a vast majority of them had been earth ponies with some pegasi mixed in...but not a single unicorn. A sense of dread washed over her as she thought about it more and more.
SNAP
Cheerilee nearly jumped out of her skin at the sound, her hooves spinning her around in an instant to face whatever had made the noise. Scootaloo went behind her, holding the mare’s long pink tail in front of her little body.
Cheerilee immediately wished she hadn't turned around.
The thing that stood before her was three times her height, standing on four legs with what had once been a fine lavender coat. Its muzzle was lengthened, filled with row after row of razor sharp teeth, and dripping with thick black saliva. A lengthy and shabby mane covered its eyes, a deep purple color with a pink and lighter purple stripe in it. Despite its teeth, Cheerilee couldn’t tear her eyes away from the thing on its head...and the pair of things on its back.
A horn shot through the rat’s nest of a mane, about two feet long and sharpened to a deadly point. Maybe once it had been purple like the rest of the beast, but now it was dripping with crimson. Then came the two massive wings on the things back, flared out and twitching eagerly as it looked down on her.
“I-is that…?” Scootaloo rattled out in a small voice, her eyes wide with terror as she stared up at the massive beast. Cheerilee could feel the little filly shaking, every bone rattling as fear wracked her form.
“T-twilight?” Cheerilee stammered as her whole body began to shake, her eyes shrinking to mere pinpricks as she was faced with the monstrosity the alicorn had become. The only response she received was one of the beast’s massive hooves moving forward and hitting the ground with a thud.
Those prey instincts kicked in again, activating a long dormant fight or flight response that Cheerilee had little use for before this moment. Cheerilee turned on a dime, picked up Scootaloo onto her back and galloped the opposite direction of the deformed alicorn.
Instead of the expected sound of massive hooves hitting the dirt chasing after her, a blood curdling howl went up to the air. It shook the buildings as Cheerilee ran through the town, vibrating and breaking what few windows had survived this long.
“Miss Cheerilee!” Scootaloo shrieked in terror as she pointed above them. Little wings buzzed, the filly’s own instincts telling her to fly away even though she couldn’t.
Shadows cast down around her from the rooftops, drawing the mare’s eyes skyward once again. The roofs of the houses and stores were now lined with the missing unicorns from town, all looking similar to what Twilight had become but smaller. They were still bigger than Cheerilee, but not as big as that thing.
Dozens of sets of hooves hit the ground behind her as the changed ponieslanded, now chasing after her as wild blasts of magic hit the walls around her. She zigged and zagged through the streets, trying to make herself as hard to hit as possible. It was only then that massive gusts of wind whipped the dust and debris around her up into a frenzy, clouding her vision but not stopping her gallop.
It was Twilight, she was overhead. Cheerilee didn’t need to even look up to confirm it, she just knew.
Her hooves had carried her to the entrance of Twilight’s castle, the large crystalline structure reflecting the permanent noon sun in a blinding fashion. She wasn’t sure why she had run here. It just felt safe. Or it was supposed to.
Her body ran up the stairs and she hit the front door with all the might her weakened and malnourished body could manage. It didn’t budge, not even an inch. She weakly pounded a hoof against the smooth surface with a whimper as she crumpled to the ground. She placed Scootaloo against the door and shielded her student with her own form.
The things were behind them now, at the base of the stairs. Every unicorn she had ever known, transformed and twisted into vicious beasts, with Twilight hovering overhead. Tears streamed from Cheerilee’s eyes and down her face as she came face to face with her demise.
This is what her patience had wrought, not her salvation but just death.
The thing that had once been Twilight landed in front of the pack of unicorns, less than ten feet from where the schoolmare laid and waited. Its maw dripped with that slimy pitch black drool as it stepped closer, its breath hot and smelling of death and decay.
“I...I tried. I’m sorry, Scootaloo.” Cheerilee muttered out as she looked up at her soon-to-be killer. She reached a hoof back to place it on the filly’s head, giving one last reassuring gesture before they were defeated.
“Sweet Celestia, it's Cheerilee and Scootaloo!” Her head shot up as the voice came from behind them. Being so relegated to fate, she hadn’t noticed the door behind them opened ever so slightly. A strong hoof grabbed her and the filly and pulled the duo inside, the door slamming shut almost immediately.
Before her were all of Twilight’s friends, sans Fluttershy, some of their family, and some random citizens of Ponyville. Notably the mayor, Vinyl, and one of the Cake twins.
They had survived!
“H-how…” Cheerilee asked no one in particular, every eye on the place now on her.
“We could ask y’all the same question.” Applejack, the pony who had pulled her inside, replied. The farmer had seen better days, a stitched up wound on her side and her hat nowhere to be seen...but she was alive. “Those things don’t seem to like this place much, won’t even try to get inside. So we reckon we’re safe here for now.” The lack of confidence in that statement didn’t calm Cheerilee’s nerves at all.
“Scoots!” Applebloom appeared from somewhere in the loose band of ponies, bolting towards her little orange friend. The two fillies hugged each other tighter than Cheerilee had ever seen before, tears of joy streaming from their eyes.
“W-where’s Sweetie?” Scootaloo finally managed to ask after a prolonged bout of hugging and crying. The long dejected look the pegasus received from both Applebloom and Rarity in the background only caused the filly to slump to the ground and shake her head. “N-no…”
“What now?” Cheerilee shook her head, wiping the sweat from her brow and moving her mane from her face. She stood and looked over the group, worried and destitute gazes all focused on her. “What happens now?”
A few moments of silence passed, all of the ponies and the one dragon looking at each other expectantly. Once upon a time, Twilight would’ve been the one to formulate a plan at a moment like this she guessed.
That wasn’t really an option anymore.
“Do what we’ve been doin’, sugarcube. We wait.” Applejack rested a hoof on Cheerilee’s shoulder, the grip still strong and reassuring. “Patience is a virtue, that’s what y’all teach my little sis. Not much more we can do, I s’pose.”
This is really good! If you’re willing, I’d definitely love to see more to this story!
Personally I very much enjoy darker, alternative scenarios with a lot of mystery over what sort of cataclysm has happened. On that alone I think i'd enjoy seeing this continued. However, to double that desire, I feel that this story needs more words and context to breathe a bit better, so a continuation would definitely help. As it stands it's a typical horror short - super bad thing has happened, ponies are holding out in a sanctuary, the end. It would definitely help to elaborate at least a little with further writing past this setup. I'm especially stricken by what is affecting unicorns specifically and why.
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I appreciate the input, really. Thank you. I'm definitely leaning towards continuing it the more I think about it.
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I'd love to see it!
As a reader, I feel that this story the author has marked "Complete" isn't so much a complete story, as a beginning. We learn neither why the unicorns have transformed, nor whether or how the surviving non-unicorns will or won't likely survive for much longer. I feel we're just left 98% hanging.
I agree that what you have is well enough written that I kept reading what there was for that reason. But that only makes my disappointment at the fizzle worse!
I think told you before already, but I'd definitely love to read more about this, especially because not every unicorn is afflicted by this thing happening, I'd love to know what the hell is going on, I need to know!
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Thanks for marking story as "Incomplete!"
Now it's an effective cliffhanger imho.
I'm Happy that Vinyl survived, I'm a HUGE fan of her's, so any chance we can get a run down of which ponies survived.
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You'll probably get a full accounting over what ponies are in the castle over time. It's not a lot from Ponyville, though.
Ooooh, this is fantastic! I'd love to know what happened to Fluttershy and why Rarity wasn't effected. Sounds to me like the start of an incredible journey of a fic! I hope there's more to come!
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The second chapter is already longer than the first
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Heck yeah! It's gonna be great and I'm HYPED to read what happens next!
Hm. I'm curious. Please keep going!
The bit about the sun having stopped is so ominous, I'm scared
I cast my vote in the 'please continue,' camp. This is a great start to something bigger, and I'd love to see where it goes from here.
Yes, I want more!
Well done! Love stories like this where horrific cataclysms happen and there are much bigger effects going on in the world than just in Ponyville. If Twilight got turned into a monster, then this really doesn't look good for the other princesses.
Reminds me of a story where a group of dragons managed to brainwash nearly every unicorn in equestria into becoming essentially murder-addicts. If they saw anything that wasn't another affected unicorn, they attacked - it was described not as a rigid order, but as an irresistible temptation to draw blood. Some unicorns managed to avoid that, because the onset of the signal took a couple of weeks, and not all unicorns snapped at the same time. So some had their horns sawn off before they were affected in full.
Makes me wonder if that's how Vinyl stayed sane here.
I'll add another to the please continue list. Maby a backstory to tell how this came about (like spell gone wrong mutating sickness, etc since its only unicorns/alicorns effected) and maby working towards a cure. Maybe working with another race like the zebras who have alchemy.
Also "the sun hasn't moved" if Twilight was effected you know Celestia and Luna probably were too :)
I just need to know more lol. Any idea how long this story will end up being?
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Or she's already accustomed to dealing with magically-induced bloodthirst.
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I'd argue that openly stating the reason would detract from the horror.
As it stands, the implications of eternal day are already bad enough, especially if majority of unicorns are affected.
But it's the pure unknown that is the best part.
I would definitely like more of this
“And I looked and behold, a pale horse. And the man that sat on him was Death... AND HELL FOLLWED WITH HIM
Alondro gazes down on the... what is it now?... 999,999th Crapsack Equestria, "Eh, blow it up like the rest." He lazily raises his arm and fires a 'Super Ultra Anime Death Ball of Xenocide' TM and vaporizes the planet and its angst-ridden ruin to atoms.
One more blow'd up planet and Alondro gets a free Frogurt!
The Frogurt is also cursed.
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Hey you got the title reference!
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then Alondro woke up is his brain jar and remebered that his only use & porpuse under migo is gloriefied calculator and he is behind his qouta of π calculations
10821339
do you read the messages that you send
Needs more Explanation
I definitely feel that you have a solid foundation for a pretty good story here. I'd be very intrigued to see a continuation some time in the future. I do have to ask, however if you have an idea of where you want to take this?
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Yeah I have a pretty solid idea.
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Wouldn't be much of a mystery if they explained it.
turns out it's all a dream---the frogs are gay, everyone is high off their ass, and the Belgians invaded griffonstone. Hahaha...
whatchu mean them horses ain't me tripping?
"...And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him."
I have a feeling that this situation is probably Twilight's fault.
Now this is something worth keeping an eye on.
A good start with this chapter.
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That you would give such a description but no way to find this story pains me
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Unfortunately, I don't remember what it was called - and what little odd snippets of text I can remember don't rattle google's memory either.
Well?, what are you waiting for? Continue!
Odd bit is Rarity is all right in the castle but the Unicorns outside are twisted. So its possible that the Castle is protecting her and if she went outside she would turn like the other unicorns. Turn that on its head and bringing one of these feral unicorns inside for a time and they might turn back. Now the other issue is how much food is inside the castle to support the population?
Dude I love post apocalyptic novels, this is gonna be good.
Did Rarity cut her own horn? That would be an interesting concept
This is the one time I must complain about the cover- it kinda gives away Twimonster. Its not even a spoiler because its on the cover
This wouldn't be a issue if it didn't have the charecters acting suprised by something they then describe intentionally vaugely, which is then ruined by the cover.
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Not to mention that Vinyl is also there, being she is also a unicorn.
Okay. Well. You have my interest. Twilight apparently going batshit mad with power, transforming the rest of her former tribe into clones and killing the rest (or something going wrong with the ascension process to the same effect) is a new one.
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https://www.fimfiction.net/story/73954/the-signal
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/104816/frequencies-to-end-the-signal
10822149
Missed Vinyl completely! Didnt miss that Octavia had not survived.
Ok, this definitely has my attention.
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Purple horse gonna purple.
I would love to see more of this! Following :)
: WTF did you do to Twilight? :
Don't blame me, I never do anything
Git em DISCORD!
I'm Evil
but not a Doctor
With fricken lasers on their heads