Diamond Tiara barely checked into the inn before she was guiding them out to the street. "First order of business? Food, but keep your eyes open. Our goal is to find where the griffons aren't doing things right. Look, don't talk. We'll compare notes after we've treated ourselves." She waved them forward and led her group with a confident walk to the first little cafe she saw.
She liked the look of it, with the griffons all being dressed well, the energy relaxed, and not a single vagrant in sight. This was a place for people with money and purpose, people like her. She strode into it and moved to an empty table, then hopped up onto a chair and settled herself. Her friends joined her, and they waited for service, which proved slow in coming.
With growing dissatisfaction, Diamond Tiara clopped the top of the table. "Maybe I was wrong. I thought this was a place of refinement."
A griffon approached. His dress made Diamond think more of a maƮtre d' as opposed to a random waiter. "I'm afraid we don't serve... that." His gaze fell squarely on Gneech.
Diamond Tiara waved a hoof dismissively. "He is my servant and my responsibility. We are ready to be served."
Her thickly-entitled tone of voice and casual dismissal put him off-balance. If she was as rich as she sounded, perhaps... "Of course, madame. We will have to apply a ten percent fee, for the discomfort presented to our other patrons."
Diamond raised a brow. "Your other patrons are less cosmopolitan than I thought, but very well. Can we have our menus now?" She snorted softly. "I hope you aren't expecting much of a tip with the way this is going so far."
Silver Spoon lowered her glasses lightly and shook her head at the griffon. "Hmmph, I thought they would have better manners in such a deceptively classy establishment."
Gneech glanced between the two, wanting to help, but unsure how to do so and sound properly snooty. "Yeah..."
The waiter slid menus before them and retreated without another word, looking embarrassed and infuriated. Diamond smiled at her companions. "Gneech, you're getting more valuable. While you're here, they're focused on you, and not us, which leaves us the chance to observe, and act." She tapped at her chin. "Go ahead, pick what you'd like to eat. Today we eat like kings and queens."
The menu had a variety of foods, plenty to satisfy a pony or kobold's appetite with a selection of nuts, vegetables, fruits, and glorious meats for a very happy Gneech. "Gneech knew following you would be good idea. He had hunch, when was stupid and hit by trap he should have stopped and saw. Gneech, hunch said, pink pony is last chance. She will either kill you, or save you. So Gneech gave dagger, and you save Gneech."
Diamond Tiara didn't bring up that she had fully intended on murdering Gneech at the time. "It all worked out in the end, didn't it?"
Silver Spoon sipped at the citrusy juice that filled her glass. "Whatever the fault in service, the food is excellent, isn't it?"
Gneech bobbed his head. "Is good!"
Diamond Tiara gestured with her head subtly. "Now look around, what's missing?"
Gneech was the first to reply. "Gneech not sure..."
Silver Spoon adjusted her glasses, pushing them up along her snout. "Like, they're dressed kind of plainly."
Diamond nodded. "I'll wager if we went up to the really ritzy areas, they're dressed better. There's a supply issue, either in talent, or in dyes and pigments, so only the richest can afford bright colors around here, and you saw the poor ones. If we can resolve that, we're looking at instant returns." She lifted her glass of milk. "To profits."
Diamond and Silver clinked their glasses together. Gneech was slower in recognizing the gesture and hurriedly banged his mug in. At least he didn't shatter their glasses.
Silver Spoon tilted her head. "We should find out what the laws are about opening businesses around here."
Diamond nodded at her. "Great idea. Silver, that's your job after we're done here. I'm going to investigate where the tailors are getting their supplies, and who's in the business. We'll snatch one or two up to work on our side."
Gneech pointed at himself. "What Gneech do?"
Diamond frowned with thought. Gneech subtly gestured at a griffon. "Double stitch with single dye. Lazy manufacture. It'll fall apart too fast. Gneech knows how to tell."
Diamond smiled. "You talented little lizard! Your value keeps expanding. You're with me."
Gneech bobbed his head. "Gneech is dragon, more reptile, less lizard, but will come with, yes."
Diamond suddenly imagined Gneech as a red-scaled version of Spike and burst into a fit of giggles, much to his confusion.
Pinkie looked around the exotic oriental stylings of Yi Sheng architecture before approaching one of the unicorns that seemed to dominate the town. "Excuse me. I'm trying to get to the griffon mountains?"
The unicorn looked Pinkie over a moment before smiling. "Curious pink pony, may I trouble you to come with me for a moment?"
Pinkie tilted her head. "Um, sure? What's up?" She began to follow him through the streets as he led her towards one in particular, with large gates and a larger courtyard.
He shook his head. "It shouldn't take too long, but I'd be willing to pay. It's not often I encounter an outsider that so closely resembles a pony."
Pinkie stopped, frowning a little. "I am a pony! Just like you or anypony else."
He held out a hoof towards her. "This is a hoof." He used his magic to lift one of pinkie's. "This is a not a hoof. Where's the wall? Where's the frog?"
Pinkie became confused. "Hooves are supposed to have frogs? That's strange. Why would ponies have frogs attached to their legs?"
"I'll explain in further detail..." He led her onwards to his laboratory, where he could examine her better.
With lunch complete, the waiter returned, looking a little suspicious. "That will be six silver pieces, madame."
Diamond fished out a platinum coin and set it down. "I'll need change."
He was clearly surprised at the presence of the valuable coin, but plucked it up and soon returned with proper change. Diamond passed back one of the silver coins. "Can I have this in the cheapest coin available?"
"Copper pieces, madame?"
"Yes, thank you."
He returned with ten copper coins, bowed, and departed. Diamond set the one copper on the table. "That's what he gets for his attitude. We'll meet back at the Gilded Promise, alright? Let's go."
Silver hopped to the ground, feeling full and happy. She held out a hoof to Diamond Tiara. "Give me some coins, in case some hooves need greased, or for application fees."
Diamond raised a brow. "Be sure to get receipts." She slipped two platinum to Silver Spoon.
Silver shook her head. "They don't give receipts for bribes, but for everything else, I will." She tucked the money away and trotted out into the city, looking around for and soon finding a guard. She approached the armored griffon with a smile. "Hello! Can you, like, tell me where I'd go to get a business license?"
The griffon looked down at her before crouching to be on her level. "Oh, I recognize you. They were talking about you, little pony. Already going into business for yourself? Aren't you an industrious little soul."
Silver smiled kindly at the griffon. "Yes sir. I just need to make sure we have all the paperwork done properly." She raised a hoof. "We wouldn't want you to have to spend time with us because we broke a rule."
"Right you are," agreed the guard. "I wish some of my chicks had your attitude. Ready to go, but making sure your lines are crisp. Follow me and I'll get you where you need to be." He rose up to his full height, but stayed on all fours as he led Silver along through the streets. "Watch out for the pencil pushers. They think there's glory to be had in managing their little desks, and putting a crimp in your day just validates their belief that they have power."
Silver nodded as she followed after him. "I'll be careful, sir. Thanks for taking the time out of your busy day to show me here."
They nodded to one another before he moved off, leaving her in front of the large building that reported itself to be "Office of Records". Silver nodded at the sign before moving for the door, confident that she was in the right place.
The inside of the building reeked of paper, new and old, and ink. In direct view of the door was an aged pegasus. Her creamy fur was turning grey at the ends of her ears and snout. Silver perked, not expecting a pony. "Hello there, miss. Some business partners and I would like to open a business, and we wanted to be sure we're doing it properly."
The pegasus tilted her head. "You're mighty young-looking to be in here? Is this a prank?"
Silver held up a hoof. "Assuredly not, miss. I've been entrusted to make sure this is done properly, and that's, like, what I'm here to do."
She nodded slowly. "Right, I see. Well I'm Inky Quill. Let's see what we can do for you. What's the primary nature of your business? Were you incorporated in a foreign country and transferring to here? Doing business here? Or forming here today?"
Silver smiled with building hope. "Textiles, and local."
Inky raised a brow. "Textiles? Curious. You're dressed like you just came in out of the wilderness."
Silver internally cursed her lack of foresight in getting a new outfit. "How astute, Miss Quill. We just arrived and are eager to get right to business." Inky Quill pushed some forms across the desk at her and Silver picked it up, looking it over. It was as dense as she had expected, and she found a small desk to sit at and start filling it out, scratching away with the provided quill. "Miss? How long will it take for this for to become valid after I submit it?"
Inky shrugged softly. "New business incorporation? Upwards of a month, depending on how long it takes to get before the review board, and assuming they approve it."
Silver winced softly. "I... see. And what's the submission fee?"
Inky shook her head. "Oh, just a single gold piece. Hardly a trifling for anyone who's serious about doing business."
Silver nodded. "Oh, of course. In fact, that seems like far too little, especially with all the questions you have to answer all day long. Such a hard worker, like, deserves a bit more."
Inky huffed. "Preaching to the choir there, filly."
Silver slid from the desk and approached Inky. "No, I'm totally serious." She fished out a platinum and set it on the desk. "Here you are, for the submission and speedy processing, and for being a great pony to work with."
Inky slid the coin towards herself. "Oh, of course. Yes. We'll see if we can't get this pushed through right away. Leave your contact information and we'll get back to you as soon as we have answers."
Pinkie Pie is getting vivisected?
Nice business choice. If the adorabullies do end up back in Equestria, Barnyard Bargains may end up with a high-quality low-cost clothing line that eats into Rarity's business.
There are two spaces between these sentences.
Capitalize Silver's name, here.
6212904 Fixed!
Huh. Applejack was... actually kind of right. The fillies really are coming into their own in this world. Who'd have thought? Also, it seems that Gneech is a kobold of many talents.
As for Pinkie... Honestly? I pity the vivisectionist.
6213314 Gneech has ranks in Appraise, that skill people often ignore, but good for knowing which shiny thing is worth more than the other.
Having a member of your entourage that unsettles people can be quite valuable, but it's really tricky to make that work to your advantage.
comma between these words
Since Gneech is treating his hunch like an actual voice in his head, the hunch's words should be in quotes:
"Gneech," hunch said, "pink pony is last chance. She will either kill you, or save you."
Ooh, burn. She deliberately left a tiny tip rather than no tip just to make sure he knew she hadn't forgotten.
need to be greased
This is not wrong, but perhaps you meant to say "purported" as in claimed or alleged.
"them" in both places
I see only one problem with the way this story is going: The only way for there to be any adventure in the future is for some outside force to ruin everything.
DT has a shrewd and completely legal plan to get stupid rich. They are crossing all their t's and dotting all their i's and working the system. Somehow, though, I doubt that you intend to write a story where magical creatures travel to a fantasy world...and give the locals a lesson in economics. So far, they seem to be winning at the game of life, but that's not very exciting, is it?
I'm sure you have a plan to turn everything pear-shaped and drive them out into the snow to fend for themselves again, but it might be tricky to do that without it seeming really contrived.
6212943 I'm really enjoying how well things are going for the fillies! Diamond Tiara's business acumen is really great to see, as her competence helps to round her out as more than an irritating rich girl. In fact, it's noteworthy that this seems to be the first time that she's really making it on her own. That brings up a possibility that I hadn't thought before, that she might actually be able to overcome her inner demons, not by having to stop judging herself in comparison to everypony else, but simply by succeeding so much in her endeavors that she actually satisfies her need to demonstrate how she's "better" than everyone else. Heck, maybe she'll even overcome her daddy issues that way...though that's a stretch.
Still, it's a really great change to see the characters succeed at what they're setting out to do, rather than just scraping by. Up until now, we've seen them alternate between desperately trying to survive and having their plans continually delayed or foiled. This is the first time that things are going right, so I hope that this won't be snatched away from them with any undue haste. I do fully expect there to be a downturn at some point - both due to the narrative need for conflict, and because nobody's luck holds forever - but that doesn't mean it needs to be imminent, nor that it needs to wipe out everything they're gaining now. Let the characters enjoy their hard-earned successes for a while before the next crisis appears.
Of course, Pinkie Pie is moving from crisis to crisis all on her own. These vignettes remain amusing, and I'd like to think that Pinkie is going to show up and say "Hey! I'm here to rescue you!" just as the fillies have found their own way home, after their adventures are concluded.
The differences between Silver and Diamond were also underlined here. Where Diamond spotted opportunity, Silver Spoon is focused on social engineering. Diamond Tiara can talk down to people better than anyone, but Silver Spoon is the one who can butter them up. They're essentially playing "good cop, bad cop" in response to a situation. I suppose it's a coincidence how much this resembles the dynamic between Lex and Sonata, but this is the dynamic of a partnership at its best, where they work together to cover the areas the other one is weak, making them stronger than the sum of their parts.
Even Gneech is playing a role here. I'm a little surprised by his insight, and I'm starting to wonder if he's one of those "low Intelligence, high Wisdom" characters that tend to be more difficult to portray (at least without turning into Forrest Gump). He's a surprisingly skilled lackey, however, what with his knowledge of tailoring. Presumably he learned that by being a vagrant and so needing to know at a glance what was worth salvaging?
However it ends up, it's nice to see the team getting what they deserve for a change.
6215677 Having her daddy acknowledge her work would go a long way to resolving daddy issues, though that she's getting work done well enough to have something to show for it will help. Will their textile company get off the ground, spread its wings, and fly with the griffons? Only time will tell!
Diamond and Silver work at setting up shop...while Pinkie ends up as a unicorn's test subject...again.
Also, is it just me, or do kolbolds just make good sidekicks? Gneech reminds me of Deekin from the Neverwinter Nights games.
6213977 For the record, I would love that story, but I have been wondering the same thing. Don't forget Pinkie though, whenever someone has set up delicate plans that require long term planning and composure, Pinkie showing up can often overturn that apple cart, so to speak. And if Pinkie showing up acting all crazy doesn't collapse DT's business empire, I suspect they will have to journey to the pony capital to get back to Equestria, just as all previous parties have, so there's still that long and arduous journey.