The Three Sisters: Like Fudge
Chapter XIII: I'm on a Highway to Nightmare Night
By Wanderer D
Twilight Sparkle and Hidden Tale stepped out of the train and onto the platform at Ponyville Station just as the day was starting to darken.
"I'm telling you, Hidden Tale," Twilight said, smiling at her companion. "Nightmare Night is a very important tradition to Ponyville. It's the ideal day to spend some time with some of your daughters. Ponies will be disguised, there'll be plenty of magic tricks, and everypony here really gets into it!"
"Ah'm gonna dah on the Night of Nightmaaaares!" Granny Smith wailed from somewhere in the crowd.
Twilight nodded. "See? Granny Smith is already in character."
"I... see." Hidden Tale looked around at the Ponyvillians decorating the structures in town. "I doubt it'll be as... flamboyant as the ones in Canterlot?"
Twilight chuckled. "No, it's delightfully rustic. Plus! Luna might visit again this year, I know the colts and fillies are certainly hoping she does."
Hidden Tale pondered this for a moment. "Okay, I'm leaving."
"Oh no, you're not!" Twilight growled, levitating the disguised changeling and having him float behind her as she made her way downtown. "You're going to spend some time with Acari before she and I leave for the Crystal Empire, and then you're going to find all your daughters and spend some time with them. It's been years since you've seen them all! And they are all different ages, you must take advantage of that an—" Twilight stopped talking and walking, her brow wrinkling in a frown. "Wait. If you were working for Celestia all that time and doing missions, how can they all be your daughters? You were in Canterlot most of the time, correct?"
Hidden Tale shrugged. "I visited Chrysalis on my off-time."
"But didn't she order that you should be disposed off when you were posing as a worker?"
"That's just the way she was."
"But you were spying on her!"
"Ponies—and changelings—say a lot of things in b—"
"I don't want to know!" Twilight interrupted. "Fine. You found the time to get busy every time you visited Chrysalis. And now you have daughters that need your attention."
Hidden Tale didn't struggle, but he didn't seem too enthusiastic either. "I fail to see how that is my responsibility given that I was unaware of any progeny of mine until recently."
"Hidden Tale."
"Yes?"
"Do you know what Litmus' Limited Leverage does?"
Hidden Tale raised his eyebrow. "I'm not familiar with three-alliteration spells."
Twilight told him.
"I suppose I could spend some time with my daughters," Hidden Tale conceded.
Sæla glared at the two fillies as they continued to wash the dishes. "Hey, brat," she called, pulling a dish from the drying rack and showing its stained surface to Diamond Tiara. "Does this look clean to you?"
"It's cleaner than before!" the filly growled.
"Well that doesn't mean it's clean!" Sæla retorted, dropping the dish into the soapy water.
"Do you really need to give us that attitude?" Silver Spoon asked tiredly as she placed a clean bowl on the rack. "We're already being punished."
Sæla snorted. "Not nearly enough after that stunt you two pulled." She shook her head. "Not only do you two spend time antagonizing us omnivores and carnivores, what you did could have turned really nasty, really quick."
"It's not our fault that you are uncivilized brutes, willing to eat animal produce!" Diamond Tiara snapped.
"Tiara!" Silver Spoon hissed. "That's—"
"I hate to break it to you, brat, but those cakes and cupcakes and ice cream you like so much? They have animal produce in them." The gryphoness replied icily. "I've seen ponies eat chicken. You all like your milkshakes, which contain... guess what? Milk. Which comes from cows, most of the time, for your information, brat." She shook her head. "And even if you were truly ignorant of those facts, it doesn't excuse what you attempted to do to those poor fillies earlier. I mean, what's your problem, brat?"
"My NAME is Diamond Tiara!"
Sæla looked at her silently for a moment. "And that's your problem?"
"No!"
"Well, then we're not getting anywhere with this conversation, are we?"
Diamond Tiara gritted her teeth furiously as she turned to glare at the soapy water in helpless fury.
"I expect you two to be done soon, so we can all go home and enjoy Nightmare Night," Sæla said, walking out of the kitchen.
"Sæla..." Diamond Tiara hissed. "She'll rue the day she found me! I shall add her to my plans for tonight!"
"Tiara," Silver Spoon said, not looking up from her own dishes.
"What?"
"Shut up."
Spike pondered his next course of action. On the one claw, he knew that Thysa really, really liked him. But he dared not act, just in case Rarity finally confessed her love to him, as star-crossed lovers usually did. Never mind that she had shown no actual interest in a romantic relationship with him, or that she treated him like a really, really young friend, with that sympathetic smile adults sported when trying not to cringe at what their foal or filly had just said. Or the fact that they had little in common other than knowing Twilight and an appreciation of gems. One as culinary ingredients (or munchies) the other as potential glittery material for dress-making. Spike imagined that, in the deepest recesses of her heart, she was somehow aware that she loved him just as much as Thysa did. Maybe. Possibly.
But that was not his problem at this time. His problem was that he had found out that Acari, who was soon to leave with Twilight, had a crush on him. And the poor girl was so shy she had hid it so well he hadn’t even known. But maybe Acari was like Rarity. Maybe the young—although still older than him—changeling was just shy and would not vocalize her feelings due to… something. Or other.
Spike sighed. A handsome, promising, well-educated, gentle-drake like himself with an almost guaranteed future in an important position (in the next 120 years or so when he finally reached dragon maturity), was a prime catch, after all. The Hydra in the Everfree Forest had said so itself, while tossing Spike into the air and opening its maws wide to eat him whole.
Thankfully Twilight had been there and teleported him out of harm’s way. But, if a monster with nine heads was of the opinion that you were choice material, who were you to argue, really?
And that might have been technically battle, or at least lunch, but Spike was sure that the same principles that applied in War would apply with Love.
He pondered that conclusion.
“So… in order to get Rarity I must cut her supply line?” He frowned. “That… doesn’t sound right.” He shook his head. “Focus, Spike! Rarity is not the problem right now. You have to decide what to do with Thysa and Acari!”
He sat down. “Okay, Thysa already told me she likes me. She can transform into a dragon… but then so can Acari. Thysa is closer to my age, but Acari probably has more in common with me about things to talk about… but she’s leaving tonight! I need to make a decision! It’s not fair to all three of them if I’m stringing them along!”
Spike sighed and put his face in his hands. “Why does this have to be so difficult?” He looked out the window at the ponies decorating for Nightmare Night. “And on Nightmare Night of all nights.” He snorted. “I bet it’s an easy night for Changelings to disguise themselves. They’d do it quicker than Rarity, in any case.”
He stared out the window in silence.
Rarity… Thysa… Acari…
Changelings.
Disguises.
Spike blinked. “Wait. Can’t Thysa or Acari turn into Rarity? Maybe even a Rarity my age?” His eyes widened. “Wow. Why didn’t I ever think of that?”
Spike smiled. “I can get what I want in one single pony!? And they both want me, so I’m sure they’d be willing to be Rarity for me since they’re changelings! This is perfect! And I get a dragoness whenever I want, too!”
Spike grinned as he jumped off to the floor. “I’ll have to find Thysa and ask her to be my aged-down Rarity for tonight! Then I can ask Acari when she comes back, to be my Rarity for the days I want her to look normal! They won’t mind, I basically own their hearts!”
“Spike! I’m home!” Twilight called from outside as she magically opened the door and walked in, dragging a pony behind her in her levitation field.
“Oh, hi Twilight! Hi, Hidden!”
“Spike.” Hidden Tale nodded politely from where he floated.
Twilight tilted her head. “Spike, you seem a bit different, did you trim your claws?”
“Huh?” Spike looked down at his claws. “Nope.”
“I think he’s a bit taller,” Hidden Tale quipped. “At least from last week, when I saw him in Canterlot.”
“That might be it,” Spike said, nodding. “I’m a growing dragon after all.”
Twilight frowned. “Have you been taking things for a hoard again?”
Spike shook his head. “Nah, I learned my lesson, Twilight. I’m not taking stuff just for myself.”
Twilight smiled. “Okay then! I need to pack, do you think you could give me a hoof?”
Spike cringed. “Um, I was hoping to do something really quickly, if you don’t mind, Twilight.”
“Oh,” Twilight shrugged. “Okay, Spike!”
“Thanks, Twilight!” Spike called back, already on his way out.
He closed the door behind him and started trotting towards the Crusader’s HQ. “This is going to be the best Nightmare Night ever!”
o.0.o End Chapter 13 o.0.o
why didn't I get a update notice? Oh well, now to read.
Um, Spike? I forsee this turning rather ugly for you and cringe/entertainment worthy to us
Actual reaction on reading this line:
*skullpalm*
Spike... Just... No.
Spike... It's called a hoard, not a Harem!... Then again, Changelings might be flexible enough for that...
Emotionally! Not nimble!
I know! I can emotionally manipulate these women into changing themselves into the image of the mare I truly desire, thus pleasing myself and making her feel unwanted and worthless!"
Bravo, Spike. Today, you are a man.
... I want popcorn! Anyone else want popcorn? I'll just go make a housefull or so. This should be good.
5479661
This would explain why Spike turned into a dog in Equestria Girls. He's just reflecting his inner self.
If they are willing to act like a dragon for him, why not look like Rarity. It is not like they don't normally hide as other to get love.
Spike. Spike. You are a horrible dragon.
This... sounds like it might end painfully. Painfully with a lot of awkward build up.
5479689 Greed Growth 2: Spiketastic Boogaloo
5479668 make two please
This is going to end so badly for Spike... and right now, the only thing I can say is 'good, he needs a reality check'...
Wat.
Spike, no.
Spike. No.
Whyyyyyyy
Oh Spike. You will realize after this is over that your hindsight is perfect, and would wish it had a time travel ability to hammer those ideas out of your skull in the first place
Silver:
Spike:
Spike trotted?
Isn't that for ponies/hooves only?
I do like your idea that the power of a spell can be measured by how many alliterative elements are in its name. I imagine the greatest challenge of some spells is getting the language to cooperate. I wonder how many neologisms have been coined in such efforts, or if that's considered cheating.
Thank you. If ever there was a time for Silver Spoon to speak up, it would be now.
And yeah, milk and eggs don't exactly grow on trees.
Spike and Rarity do have one more thing in common: they're both hopeless romantics. And I do mean hopeless.
Great stuff. Looking forward to more.
5479885 alliteration spells were actually captain chrysalids idea I'm just referencing him
SPIKE, YOU MORON!!!!!!!!!!! Also, you do realize you are now hoarding women!!!!! You have a hoard going on, albeit the term would be a harem but still.
5479902
Welp, shows what I know.
5479903
And can you blame him?
Lol Spike trim your damn neckbeard please.
5479668
I'll get it!
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5479778 Because he is a socially stunted child who has an obsessive one-sided love with a close friend. I'm surprised something as horrible as this hasn't happened yet.
5479681
5479945
How true is this? Unfortunately, very true.
Really, though, who even needs two different shapeshifters if you're not going to use them at the same time? Spike really needs to think more about his options, here.
Awesome chapter! Someone smack Spike upside his head before he hurts himself though. That boy ain't right
Poor, misguided (insert Brooklyn accent) Baby Dragon. I feel bad for, but I kind of want this to backfire on him for thinking of such a deplorable action. But it'll just have to wait for the next chapter.
5479928 As a 19 year old, no. But since I grew up fast and have a more grownup mindset than others my age, yes I can. He should just confess to all three of them, at the same time, that he loves all of them and that he cannot decide among the three, atleast not as of yet.
5480031
But what if, against all sanity, this actually works out for the three of them? I'm not saying that it's likely, or even that it's something I would want. I'm just saying we don't know what WandererD will come up with. For all I know, he could end up with an extensive harem of Rarities.
5480074
If that happens, I will buy a hat and eat it that's how unbelievable that is. Especially since Rarity may become a queen and one of his young "admirerers" has a crush on another. I think.
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P.S. Spike. You gonna f***ed up, kid.
"The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting.”
Disregarding the questions this raises about Spike's mindset, I actually have a few philosophical questions about dragon hoarding mechanics here:
- Do metaphysical constructs like hearts and minds count towards a dragon's hoard?
- Do objects contributed to a dragon's hoard without the dragon's knowledge cause the dragon to grow? (AKA, is it the hoard that causes growth, or the knowledge of it?)
Spike, spike, spike . Ever heard the phrase: 'way out of your league?'
5479852 I've seen trotting used for humans before, so it could work for dragons too.
5479902
Oh i was hoping for a tip of the hat that way. The alliteration systen he made for his story feels like it belongs in the show
All I have to say to this chapter is in regards to spike's future plan....
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I'm guessing it's like Evard's Spiked Tentacles fo Forced Intrusion
AWESOME!!! Hopefully if Tiara does start to do something stupid Silver will run to a nearby responsible pony and get help.
You little dragon are doomed. He'll be lucky if Thysa, Acari, Rarity, and Twilight don't all rip him a new one and make him the most reviled being in Ponyville. That is if Hidden Tail doesn't personally castrate him for trying to mess with his daughters.
Starts filling goblets with cider for the inevitable hijinks that will follow
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5479668 I do! Anyone got marshmallows for the flames that are sure to erupt from somepony/ling???
5480625 Why are my votes so worthless?! *cries in the corner*
5479903
Nothing wrong with hoarding romantic/sexual partners if they want to be hoarded.
But something tells me these girls aren't into that.
5480625 most likely four other people voted roughly the same amount of time you did and so when you updated your vote it showed the additional votes as well
5480321
Honestly, the main theory is that the size of your hoard isn't related to your growth as a dragon, on natural terms. The theory encapsulates the idea that Greed Growth is a protective magical 'evolution' that triggers when a young dragon has to protect their hoard, when they are otherwise too weak and vulnerable to do so themselves. So they... grow, into an effectively mindless and greedy violence-machine. Temporary measure, however.
5480772 But that's completely unsupported by canon. Spike's greed growth started when he was given something, which triggered him to grow and want more stuff. A feedback loop of maturity. He didn't need to protect that hat he got.
5480818
And yet he still had his hoard when he forcibly regained lucidity, and then immediately became an infant again with no changes whatsoever. If it were an aspect of dragon maturity, there would have been more to it. If the size of your hoard is related to your age as a dragon, then when Garble and the others pool their hoards together and eat it, they should have regressed - they did not.
It makes far more sense as a defensive measure for whelps. So reason, AND canon supports it more than the 'hoard = age' theory.
Commence read.
Welp.
Spike.
I don't even.
nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope
Don't do it you moron.
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5481112 well, it was nice knowing him.
5479958 Socially stunted is going a bit far. He's a kid with all the social inabilities of being a kid. The obsession bit I'll grant, though. (It's actually one of my complaints about the show itself - I'd hoped they would have worked him past his ultra-crush/obsession with Rares by now.)
This entire chapter has been a riot. Between Spike and Silver... yeah, I'm good.