Chapter 2: One More Soul To The Call
The council of ponies trickled into the throne room over the course of the early hours of the following morning, arriving in groups or pairs to take up their positions on either side of the throne room’s rather expansive hallway, some standing and others sitting while their conversations wrought about the echoing space in regards to the subject of this off the records trial.
Security was limited to just two ponies standing guard either side of the main entrance, stalwart and statuesque in their duties, only moving to salute the council as they entered.
Amongst the members of this newly formed political conglomerate were notable faces that many would come to expect amongst their ilk, such as Flash Sentry, Filthy Rich, Mayor Mare, Spitfire, Raven, Fancy Pants; and much to the surprise of many, even Prince Blueblood.
Two other members; Prince Shining Armour and the Gryphon lobbyist Quill were missing, however, having to attend their own private audience with Princess Mi Amore Cadenza. Quill being the nephew of the sovereign King and Ambassador to the Crystal Empire - which was the closest neighbour to the Gryphon Empire - in regards to the recent fractured political minefield between Equestria and the Gryphons over Princess Celestia’s assassination.
Prince Blueblood arrived last, flanked by Spitfire - the captain of the Wonderbolts - and Flash Sentry, the recently anointed captain of the Royal Equestrian Guard in lieu of Shining Armour's expanding duties as Prince of the Crystal Empire.
Spitfire and Blueblood ignored the guards as they saluted to them, having been already knee deep within a heated debate since their departure from the barracks that morning, leaving only Flash Sentry to return the salutes with his own.
Breaking from the two squabbling ponies, Flash Sentry approached the guards, his face expressed into a fierce determination.
“I hope you both realize that whatever you hear within this room stays in this room,” Flash Sentry gave each pony a stare, “by the order of Princess Luna. You cannot utter a single breath to anyone; not even your families. Is that understood?”
“Yes, Captain!” Both ponies chimed as one, saluting to Flash Sentry who merely winced at being called by his title. He still never really got used to the concept that he was perhaps the most influential and powerful pony out of all of the members of the council. His word carried the might of the whole Equestrian army behind it, and to a degree, it unnerved him.
Turning away from the guards with his own salute, Flash Sentry reproached Spitfire and Prince Blueblood, who was still arguing. He groaned inwardly, thanking the sun that the Princesses have yet to arrive.
“We can’t just walk in on griffin territory and start churning up rocks as we please!” Spitfire waved a hoof about in her fluster, exasperated that Blueblood seemingly did not understand basic politics. “We could very well start a war and that is something nopony wants, especially the Princesses”
Blueblood turned his nose up at the Wonderbolt, his high born attitude only grating on Spitfire’s nerves more so. Especially how he barely looked at her in the eye when he spoke, as if he was above looking at what he so elegantly called ‘cannon fodder.’
“I for one don’t see why not. It is not as if we are going there to invade. However, if the Empire continues to dance about the issue that they are harbouring criminals and rebels without due course of action, then I say, they are as much at fault as the assassin. Besides…” Prince Blueblood raised a brow to Spitfire. “How do you know they did not send him in the first place?”
Flash Sentry stepped forward, “Prince Blueblood, that is a wild accusation. If the griffins did send the assassin, then why would they send one of their own ambassadors to lobby within our council? They wish to maintain the peace as much as we do. Underhandedly attacking us when we vastly outnumber their forces four to one seems to me like suicide to me. The griffins won’t willingly start a war they cannot finish.”
Spitfire nodded to Flash Sentry, huffing. “Exactly my point; there is no motive! This is more than likely the work of a terrorist attempting to usurp the peace between our two kingdoms.”
“And who is to say that our dear griffin council member is not just a spy for the Empire? How are we to know that they are telling the truth? Who is to say that the griffins have not been playing us for fools all this time all so they could achieve what we all thought to be the impossible,” Blueblood retorted haughtily, waving a hoof about as flamboyantly as he could, “they killed Auntie. In cold blood. Under our own roof! I don’t know how; I don’t know why, but I am going to find out and I can assure you I am not alone in this way of thinking. Mark my words, I will get what I want and the guilty verdict of this assassin is but the first step towards that end. I look forward to watching him rot in the cells.”
“It does not matter what you say Princey, because the majority of the votes will outweigh any suggestion you or even Prince Shining Armour will put forward. I am still amazed he even agrees with the likes of you in this case…” Spitfire gave Blueblood a dirty look, “perhaps ponies lose brain cells when they get their Princely titles.”
“How dare you speak to me like that you tomboyish rake—”
Stepping between the two, Flash Sentry shot them both a glare, attempting to defuse the situation.
“Cool it off you two! We are supposed to be here to help run Equestria for the Princess, not tear it apart from the inside. Please keep your opinions to yourself until the council meeting tomorrow evening.”
Prince Blueblood clamped his mouth shut, yet showed just how indignant he was in regards to Spitfire’s blatant attempt to get a rise out of him by simply trotting off with his head held high and yet with a twitching brow.
Once safely out earshot, Spitfire sighed in frustration, as if she had been keeping in a great amount of air in her lungs. “I hate that stallion so much.”
Flash Sentry cocked a half smile to her. “You ain’t alone in that, Captain. But you didn’t exactly help the situation either.”
She grinned mischievously at Flash Sentry. “Someone had to put him in his place, right
Returning the smile somewhat, Flash Sentry nodded some. “I must admit, I wanted to slap him when he brought up the integrity and usefulness of the Wonderbolts and the Guards…”
Snorting, Spitfire turned her sight away from Blueblood, who was now conversing with Mayor Mare. “He’s got some nerve.”
“...but he does have a point though.”
Shocked, the Wonderbolt shot Flash Sentry a glare. “Excuse me?”
“I mean…” Flash Sentry lowered his gaze as he found himself unable to say what it was that was on his mind. “It’s just… the guards posted throughout the palace that night did not hear a thing. It was as if nothing had happened at all… if it was not for Raven stumbling upon the scene and alerting the guards, we may never had discovered the assassination until the morning. We could had lost Princess Twilight Sparkle as well as never discover the culprit...”
Spitfire nodded slowly, “I’m amazed the assassin got through so much security. The Shadowbolts are always on patrol at night over Canterlot airspace… nothing normally ever escapes their eyes… they see pretty damn well in the dark,” she scrunched her face up as she pondered as to how such a feat could had been accomplished, “it was as if the assassin just suddenly appeared... which is impossible, since gryphons cannot use magic, right?”
Flash Sentry shook his head. “Not that we know of… but what I mean is, Spitfire, is that I can see why Prince Blueblood is pretty angry towards the likes of us right now. He feels we did not do our duty and protect the Princesses as we should have, but, while I see his point, I cannot simply agree with it. I know for a fact the ponies on guard that night were experienced soldiers… I would trust them with my life let alone the Princesses’... but that does beg the question, though, doesn’t it? How did the assassin get into Twilight Sparkle’s bedchambers and manage to keep it all so quiet?”
“Maybe I was a bit harsh on him…” Spitfire muttered, “he is grieving harder than the rest of us. I just wished he’d vent it out in a different way other than being an arrogant ass.”
That comment alone elicited a chuckle from both captains, which was swiftly cut short as the doors to the throne room opened once more, allowing the two alicorns they awaited for to silently trot on in.
The collective of ponies silenced as they lowered themselves into long and elegant bows, all except for Prince Blueblood, who merely stared out at Princess Luna and Princess Twilight Sparkle with a sadness that was reflected within both the alicorn's eyes, even if they wore expressions that were completely neutral.
Under normal circumstances, the young Princess Twilight Sparkle would have ran up a storm of worry appearing in her first ever trial as the voice of Equestrian law in her first official duty as a Princess, instead however she held nothing but an odd bittersweet excitement coursing through her battered and bruised body; the aches and pains numbed as adrenaline coursed through each and every cell, over-exciting her already active mind into an explosion of thoughts towards a singular purpose:
Justice.
Twilight wanted to see justice for Celestia prevail. And it will.
It has to, no matter the cost.
Twilight’s voice would be heard amongst a select few; a council that was formed by the order of Princess Luna upon the demise of her sister, Celestia.
This group of ponies were elected to deal with the daily management of Equestria – such as the Day and Night Court, where Luna would play a minor role in the decisions there and various other governmental duties, giving the Luna the ability to deal with the day to day manipulation of the moon and now the sun, which was of itself a tiring task.
Luna was an inexperienced ruler compared to her recently departed older sister, so this course of action; although unexpected and democratic - unlike the rule that had existed under Princess Celestia’s iron hoof of benevolence for a thousand years - was a logical course of action.
The lavender mare herself was too young to take up the mantle of the Sun Goddess and the manipulation of the sun, and, if the truth be known, Twilight felt herself unworthy to carry such a burden.
The young princess was lacking in experience as an alicorn and was still learning the extent of her powers, so picking up the pieces of what Celestia left behind upon her death was madness to even consider… and Luna had to agree. The Council had to be formed to keep the peace and to return the operations of Equestria to a normalcy as quickly as possible.
As the two alicorns approached the thrones, both kept their attention firmly upon the vacant sun throne, which was decorated with a various array of flowers in tribute to the fallen goddess, Celestia’s crown nestled within the seat of power where she once used to sit and rule Equestria with her beauty and grace.
Stay focused, Twilight, Twilight willed herself as they came to a stop before the dual thrones, be calm and push aside those dark thoughts from your mind. Justice will be done. You’ll see...
Upon their journey here, Twilight was instructed by Luna to say nothing and simply sit quietly upon the throne where her great mentor once sat, yet the young lavender mare found it more suitable to stand next to it and almost guard the vacant throne, as she stared out of a singular amethyst eye down at the crown sitting lonely upon it.
Spike had talked her into wearing the bandage around her head, as to conceal her injuries, even though she wanted nothing more than to face the griffin down with his handiwork. But Twilight eventually submitted to wearing it.
As a wave of animosity washed over her, Twilight stole her gaze from the crown and regarded the ponies that stared up at them.
She could almost taste their pity.
No… no Twilight… they’re just as sad as you are.
It’s fine.
They’re not looking at you.
They’re looking at the empty throne besides you… that’s all…
Although she loved Spike to no end, she could not help but feel disgust and betrayal whenever the baby dragon Twilight considered like a brother looked upon her with such similar trepidation and sadness.
Spike had yet to look at her in the face for more than five seconds when he changed the gauze—or worse yet, he barely looked at her in the eyes at all. He always avoided looking at her face and it annoyed her to no end! Spike never had that problem though when Twilight had this stupid bandage covering up her horrific imperfections.
Was he ashamed to look at her now?
Was he disgusted by how she now looked?
Was he pitying her just like the others were by simply avoiding the fact that she was now a crippled, weak little alicorn?
What am I thinking…?
He’s just sad for what has happened to me…
I know he cares about me and I know he’d never do those things no matter how I look… so why do I have to think so wrongly of him? He’s concerned he will hurt my feelings, that’s all… oh, Spike... how can I think so wrongly of even you?
“Twilight Sparkle, art thou feeling unwell?”
The sudden question broke Twilight out of her reverie and she shook her head, blinking an eye to Luna who sat in her own throne, looking over at the lavender mare with concern etched upon her features.
“No, Princess Luna. I am fine. I-I am just a little tired, that’s all. The travel from Ponyville was long.” She smiled softly to the Lunar Goddess, lying perfectly.
And it worked.
If Princess Celestia was here… I bet she would had seen right through me…
“Do well to remember my council earlier, young Twilight Sparkle. Do not speak, if you hath no desire to. We will deal with this assassin’s verdict, personally. He has admitted to this heinous crime in private to us and I have come to a decision with the council on his sentence. We will not burden you Twilight Sparkle by looking upon his sight for a second longer.”
Surprise had managed to find its way onto the Element of Magic, “B-but… I was not told he—”
Luna lifted a hoof, to silence her, “We are sorry, Twilight Sparkle, but we thought you needed not be burdened any more by this tragedy. If… i-If ‘Tia, was here… she would not have wanted you to be here to witness this trial or to have a hoof in it… you are still young and you are still healing, so we kept this information from you until now.”
Twilight struggled to contain the bile in her throat. “What did he say?”
“The beast admitted to his crime and stated so boldly he was acting in the interests of the Gryphon Empire and it’s King.” Luna swallowed hard, uncertain if she ought to have parted with the entirety of that information and yet, she felt she owed Twilight that much.
Swiftly, Luna directed her gaze to the gathering below and towards the set of double doors at the end of the throne room as they begun to open once again, the creak of heavy doors fan faring the arrival of an entourage of six guards flanking a heavily chained gryphon, marching slowly on in.
Twilight Sparkle, still aghast at the news, took a few steps towards Luna, ignoring the arrival of the criminal in question. “You mean to tell me this wasn’t just a criminal act of a violent, insane griffin? You mean to tell me he was acting upon the orders of his King?”
“Silence for now, we speaketh more of this later, Twilight Sparkle, I promise.”
Rising, Luna took a step forward from her throne, her eyes aflame with an inner fury that made all ponies before her twitch nervously. All except the gryphon, of course, who smugly grinned up at Luna in an act of defiance as they approached the dais where the thrones were raised upon.
“No,” Twilight stomped a hoof, wincing as she did so, keeping her voice soft enough so that only Luna could hear, “if this is true then, surely, this is an act of war?”
Out of the corner of her eye, Twilight could now see the smile upon the beak of the griffin and it only served to bring a deep rooted vehement hatred to rise in that amethyst eye of the lavender mare, as she swung it and her head towards him, casting her mane to cover most of the bandaged side of her head.
Their eyes locked for what seemed like an eternity. Familiarity glittering in his eyes as he stared on back, smugly curling his beak into a deeper, more sinister grin at the growing expression of disgust upon the face of the young alicorn mare.
“Nay, Twilight Sparkle, this shalt not end in war. ‘Tia fought hard for the peace between the Griffin Empire and Equestria. My sister would not want war, despite her… Passing. Nay, we must rise above this without violence. It is what ‘Tia would have wanted.”
Yes… Luna’s right.
The Princess would want justice served fairly and within the confines of the law, even if creatures like him don’t deserve it...
Fighting back the bile rising in her throat at such a sentiment; vivid memories of that fateful day assaulting her mind as the death of her mentor plagued her once more, Twilight Sparkle silently returned to her position besides Princess Celestia’s vacant throne and simply did what she was told, bit back her tongue and simply remained silent, despite wanting to strangle the life out of that monster with her own two hooves.
The guards seized their approach and moved to force the griffin down onto his haunches before the dais and the two princesses.
However, in act of defiance, the griffin hoisted his head high and continued to grin up at the two alicorn princesses, before speaking out in a nonchalant sort of way, “Good morning, what a fine day it is for a stroll in a courtroom.”
“SILENCE!”
Boomed the Royal Canterlot Voice of Luna, who stomped a hoof so harshly onto the dais, that the room itself shook under the weight of her cosmic power, blinding white eyes blazing with anger along with her outspread wings of onyx at the impenitence and audacity of the prisoner to smile and talk so casually in the face of his judges.
“What hath you to say to this court in regards to the assassination of my sister, Princess Celestia, the Sun Goddess of Equestria, to whom you admit murdering in cold blood?”
“Well.. I think it could have gone better. I was hoping to take out the purple one, too,” he craned his neck towards Twilight Sparkle and winked, “a shame really I went and ruined such a pretty face instead.”
A heated huff passed the nostrils of the lavender mare, as she smoldered a look at the prisoner that could had melted steel.
He has no remorse. He does not care he took the life of someone so pure, someone so innocent and someone so merciful that she would had spared his life if his attempt had failed…
How…
How DARE he!
How DARE he smirk like that...
How DARE he talk about my face!
Twilight took a threatening step forward, her entire body trembling as she resisted the urge to just go down there, and… and what? Kill him?
The revelation shocked Twilight as she turned to look away, disbelief crossing her features as she attempted to rationalize where such a barbaric intent would had come from.
What is happening to me? I… I’d never… ever… do such a thing.
No sane pony would ever think that…
Am I… Am I starting to lose myself?
No...
No… I’m fine. I am strong.
I-I am not like him.
I am not a murderer!
Despite the goading, Luna was surprisingly calm, even though inside she seethed and shared unknowingly a similar mind to the lavender princess.
Luna knew that in this day and age she could do no more than sentence the assassin to life in imprisonment. The death penalty was abolished years ago, due to the newfound peace that blessed Equestria under the golden rule of Celestia, while the Luna was banished to the lunar object in the sky as Nightmare Moon.
But now?
Now stood before them the perfect candidate for Luna to revoke that law and be done away with the griffin permanently… But killing him... Killing him would gain Luna no victory and no peace of mind.
She had lost a sister, regardless if he lived or died. At least, she was content in knowing that her sister’s killer was caught and that he would rot away in the cells beneath the castle for her own viewing pleasure.
It was of some solace, but it did not mean Luna had to like it.
“For your crimes against Equestria, I hath been informed by the King of the Griffin Empire by envoy that I am the full custodian of thy fate. Thou in fact acted out against the wishes of your Empire. You are nothing more than a radical and an anarchist and will spend the rest of thy dark days in the castle prison, effective immediately with no visitation rights. Never to see the light of day.”
The verdict, rather than shock the griffin or instill fear for his well being, instead took it upon himself to laugh very loudly at the decision, sending the council of ponies that lurked on the outskirts to whisper and mutter among themselves at the sudden fit of madness animating from the prisoner, while one pony amongst the lot - most notably Blueblood made his voice be heard.
“You ingrate!” The Prince flew forward with a raised hoof, though was held back by a much stronger Flesh Sentry.
Luna lifted a hoof to calm the room and simply stared at the prisoner, raising a brow as she resisted the urge to take back her decision and just run the griffin through the chest with her horn right there and then herself.
“And… What is so funny, pray tell, prisoner?”
“You ponies, that’s what! You’re all just a bunch of clucking idiots! You can’t even bring yourself to execute me even though I killed your precious, little Princess! Some Goddess she turned out to be, huh?! That’s fine—I’m happy with the verdict because now I get to see the looks on all your faces when you realize that it is too late!”
“Too late? What doth thou speak of, prisoner?” Luna approached the edge of the dais, her face clouded with confusion. "Explain thyself immediately!"
“Oh I’m going to enjoy it when you’re the next to die, Princess! And then when you’re dead, I’m going to have my fun with y—ACKGH!”
Alarmed, Luna took a step back and watched in utterly mortified confusion as the griffin threw his chained talons to his own throat and started clawing wildly at it, his wheezing, gasping breaths only intensifying when he was magically hoisted from the ground, his rear talons flailing wildly in the air as a constricting dark purple band of magic tightened around his neck.
The guards stepped back, including the council members as all eyes were trained upon a single lavender mare, who was the apparent perpetrator of the sudden assault.
Luna quickly followed suit with her own eyes, screaming out to stop as the griffin's flailing began to slow, his tongue loitering out of his beak with his bloodshot eyes almost popping out of his head.
A deep, purple aura covered Twilight Sparkle, her magic savagely pouring out of every pore in her body as it enveloped the floating, strangulating gryphon totally and much to the other’s horror, the young Princess displayed a deep, wide smirk to rival the one that was once upon the prisoner.
“Granting this pest life was an act of mercy in honor of Celestia and yet he laughs?! HE DESERVE TO DIE FOR WHAT HE DID!!”
Twilight sparkle bellowed out much to the surprise Luna, in the traditional, Royal Canterlot Voice, her working eye wide and blind with rage, the pupil bearing an oval definition Luna seemed to somewhat recognize.
“Control thyself!”
Upon the last word a resounding crack, spurning a collective gasp from all the ponies in the throne room; including Princess Luna herself, emanated from the gryphon. The council watched in abject horror as the griffin's neck snapped awkwardly to one side, his body haphazardly tossed to the ground as an immobile heap before the sun and moon thrones, his body making a sickening slap and crack as it did so.
“Twilight Sparkle!” Luna announced, incredulous as to what had happened, “What have you done?!”
Twilight’s magical aura encompassing her dissipated swiftly as she lifted a hoof to forehead, suddenly feeling very, very unwell. “W-why…” Dizzy, the lavender mare stumbled forward as she broke out into a cold sweat, “w-what’s happening…?”
The world about her spun to a point where all colour had become a single mind numbing blur. From amongst the visual chaos, she felt blood seep from out of her nostrils and dribble down her chin.
Twilight fell, her amethyst eye rolling upwards as she collapsed into an unconscious heap against the vacant throne of the Sun Goddess and no sooner had she hit the ground, the guards rushed up the dais to aid the fallen princess within a heartbeat with Flash Sentry arriving first on the scene.
Stunned, Luna stood back shaking her head in disbelief as the guards worriedly attended to Twilight, demanding for a unicorn healer.
Luna turned her eyes sadly to the dead, twitching corpse of the griffin besides her hooves, then looked back to the unconscious Twilight Sparkle, who was hardly moving herself.
Breaking out of her daze, Luna took a single hoofstep forward and raised her voice over the chaos presiding within the throne room to affirm her dominance, all stopping and becoming silent the moment she spoke, their eyes firmly affixed upon Luna, except for Prince Blueblood; who only stared at the mangled corpse.
“Take Princess Twilight Sparkle to mine sister’s chambers immediately and send for the healer there. And…” She glanced to the dead griffin, “someone remove this filth from my throne room and summon an envoy to travel to the Crystal Empire immediately…”
Luna regarded the council of ponies, muttering underneath her breath. “It seems I have political damage to correct and a peace treaty to maintain.”
Now I really want you to go Adventure tag on us, exploring why the Griffon Empire would even consider this, all while Twilight's mind slowly but surely crumbles...
4062712 I'm beginning to get the same vibe. I wanted this to be a five-chapter long descent into madness, but now I'm beginning to question the original end-game of the story, and actually expand on the universe.
Good, good.
4062784
4063065 Thanks vinil, you too
Looks VERY promising. Please, proceed.
4063504 Thanks for that. Didn't even notice the error.
Amethyst what?
Luna was inexperienced ruler.
an inexperienced
so picking up the pieces what Celestia
of what
Rarity was here! And good story, deary. I love it a lot!
4063964 amethyst eye. Single amethyst eluded to her having one eye. Sorry for if it was vague.
4064077 Thanks.
4064077 No really, thanks. I can't believe I did not see that.
4064381 That's what I thought, the word 'eye' just happened to be missing.
4064412 It's not easy to spot small mishaps. I'm just happy I could help.
4064426 I want to said eye, but for creative sake, I'm sticking with it. I know it isn't right, when read, but for me, I like how it sounds. I do see what you mean tho. /)
4064428 No thanks, I can't believe I missed that. I need an editor for this fic so bad. XD
4064428 Let me rephrase that. Thanks, but, thanks? Gah. Yeah.
4064439
Not really? Because at the moment it just reads like she's looking through piece of amethyst as opposed to something amethyst coloured.
4064488 It was descriptive sentence in regards to her eye color.
4064457 I'm really busy today and tomorrow. But I have some free time after those two days. I could take a crack at it. It's small enough right now to were I might be able to do it tomorrow even. You know... if you want the help.
4064412 meaning I would not mind helping, but it would have to wait a day or so... if that makes sense.
4064588 I don't mind waiting. I don't post often. :d
4064611 Alright So I'll be your proofreader... if you'll have me.
4064635 It's a date.
Is it bad that your title made me think of the DSM IV? After reading your intro, I couldn't help but have a cheap chuckle.
No insult meant, dear author. Was just things that added up to amuse me.
4064646 Should I bring flowers?
I'll Pm you my email address... unless you had something else in mind?
4064773 No fear dear sir, I am not insulted. The title of the story is an added play of the psychological equation of D=S-M, where by the underlying, secret theme, is a play of BDSM.
4064797 BDSM was another thought of mine. Then again, things like that are always floating around my mind. Ask my wife
4064803 Uhhhh... Yeeeeeaaahhh
4065878 I really wanted to go full wacko at this point, but then I realized I want to write this fic for the long haul, sooooooo, wait my dear Octatentacle friend, for yiu shall get you wish.
Damn I was going to use this as a coverart for a story I'm working on...oh well. I'm interested in seeing where this goes
Wait, I though he was an anarchist and a radical? I doubt the Griffon Empire would give a shit, especially since their little false flag-type plan failed. What are they gonna do? Declare war over the fact that their assassin was executed? That's Austria-Hungry-tier stupidity. What does the treaty say, anyway, "If you assassinate our leader and commit an act of war, we'll ensure that the assassin lives peacefully for the rest of his life."
Evil!Twilight's always good. Now, hurry up and develop that griffon bio-weapon to deploy in their capitol. C'mon, Twilight, I know you want to.
4069893 Sorry about that. I'm not too bothered if you use the cover art for your own story, as well, since I don't even own the cover art, I can't exactly stop you . And thanks for taking note of this story - I hope you like the rest of it.
4071375 The honest truth is that the treaty will be explained in due to course. And not everything is as it seems. And... gryphon bio-weapon - I looooove that idea.
I understand Twilight's actions. It is often times easier to remove the thing that causes us, or has caused us, pain entirely as opposed to acknowledge its existence and actively allow it to continue to be.
Easier... but not always right, especially when there is due process of law.
Edit: Wtf... is there a glitch or something, cause it posted my comment three times.
4071809 I've done that some times myself. Not sure if it is user error or a glitch of the chat box.
And yes, her actions were justified - in Twilight's eyes, at least. But she did put herself above the ruling verdict, and went against the wishes of not only Luna, but Celestia as well, since Celestia herself passed the law that executions were not needed, for it was rather barbaric and unnecessary in this day and age.
I hope you enjoy the rest of the fic!
I find your lack of faith disturbing.
>>>You mean to tell me he was acting on the orders of his King?”>>>
Ah yes, King Aepnet, from the TD-verse, who has an arsenal of Nightmare Weapons, I presume? (I told Bronywriter he shoulda killed that jerk off! NOW look what happened!)
Awww, I was hoping to see the look on his face when Luna smiled and said, "We don't need the death penalty. Magic gives us many more... interesting options. You shall learn of one of them tonight in thy dreams... WHEN THOU LEARNST WHY I WAS NAMED NIGHTMARE MOON!!!"
The dealth penalty is only useful for mortals, as they have no other means of properly punishing premeditated murderers, who are a danger to society by their very existence.
Beings of power can deliver punishments such that the guilty wish they were allowed to die.
Yo man that was some freaking awesome Darth Vader shit there!
Ugh, sorry for taking so long; I am a terrible editor.
I think "have run" would sound better.
This feels like a run on. I suggest trying to break it up a little.
I think this can be combined. The "well" does not need to be capitalized' however, I feel it would work better if you joined it with the latter sentence.
Did you mean for "eye to be in there?
I think that should be a semi-colon.
This comma is unneeded.
Looks like another em dash. Alt+0151 and no spaces around it.
Stutters do no need to be capitalized: "B-but..." Em dash.
"by"? Again, stutters do not need to be capitalized: "If... I-if". Though I will admit it is a little stylistic.
The "on" feels unneeded.
I feel "pony" should be plural, "ponies".
I take it that "had" is just a quirk of Luna's speech. It has cropped up a couple times now.
I am not sure if aloof is the right word. The griffon is more cheeky and in contempt.
I think this should be "would have" but now I am second guessing myself and consulting others.
So you know, "thou, thee, thy, thine" are more used when talking with friends and people one is familiar with. Also, "thy" is wrong in this case in that is is analogous to "your". If you wanted to continue this usage, it would be "Thou acted".
Should be "raising".
Em dash
His rear talons are at his neck?
If he can breathe, he is not being strangled.
Doth thou mean "spun"?
I do not see how any damage was done. The Gryphon Empire said Luna was allowed to do whatever she liked to the prisoner.
You uh, have a few broken bolding tags. The rest of the chapter after that point is all bolded.
whoa, never seen twi so angry
Your grammar needs work. Also, the conversation between Flash, Blueblood, and Spitfire is overly casual and doesn't really feel like proper speech between ponies of rank.
I think that should be two separate sentences: “I hope you both realize that whatever you hear within this room stays in this room?" (perhaps swap 'hope' with 'trust' depending on if this is meant to be a statement (hope) or a rhetorical question (trust)). and "By the order of Princess Luna, you may not utter a single word (of this) to anyone; not even your families. Is that understood?
You don't generally 'utter' breaths and it's words/information that are supposed to be kept secret here. You seem to be mixing 'utter a single word' and 'breath a word' up together into something that doesn't work. Additionally, it should be 'may not' since they are not allowed to (without severe repercussions?) and they very well 'can'. Cannot generally implies an inability, not the deliberate attempt to avoid doing something. There's a difference between 'You may not leave this room.' and 'You cannot escape!'.
Ain't is generally not considered proper speech. Unless there is a reason for Flash to speak that way, it really should be "You aren't alone in that, Captain." Also, there is some title confusion here. Are the respective ranks of Flash Sentry and Spitfire equivalent? If so, then they might be on a first name basis. If not it's very confusing to have them call each other 'Captain ...' since titles are usually used for those who outrank you or perhaps in the case of equivalent ranks in different systems.
There are other issues, but I'll leave it at that.
I see a basic flaw with the story that could use some explanation somewhere. Unless you are striking out other parts of canon, Celestia has survived a 1000+ years. Why is it that, all of a sudden, a mere griffon can assassinate her and significantly wound Twilight Sparkle? I could dispense with immortality arguments for alternate universes, but it seems inconsistent that Celestia could survive Discord, the war with Nightmare Moon, and a thousand years of intervening time without being killed if it is so easy to accomplish. To make out that this is the first assassination attempt she has encountered seems unlikely given that time span and the implication that the Griffon Empire is hardly knew and has not been on the best of terms with Equestria in the past (hence a peace treaty).
For what it's worth this is a pretty good setup for some kind of mental corruption/possession due to an external force. Madness alone doesn't, in my mind, explain the double-mindedness that Twilight seems to be experiencing as well as the sudden and forceful nature of her attack on the griffin. It smacks of someone controlling her to shut the griffin up before he reveals something important.