Fire rained down around me as I flew through the smoke filled skies. I coughed and choked as I flew, desperate for fresh air.
A ball of flames struck Discord and sent him straight to the ground. Then I felt my wings buckle and snap.
I opened my mouth to scream, but I never got the chance. I slammed into the earth, and was sent skittering across the charred landscape. I tried to stand, but was slammed back into the dirt by an unseen force.
A short distance from where I lay, I could see Discord. He lay on his back, bleeding out, only inches away from where Twilight stood.
The world around her seemed to shift, as if the entire universe was bending to her whims. Cracks of purple lightning seemed to ripple through the air around her. Her eyes glowed, just as they once had when she had been the wielder of Harmony.
She had grown since I last saw her. She looked more regal now, more godlike.
I closed my eyes.
I didn't want to watch.
Although I couldn't see, I could hear. I heard Twilight speak for the first time in forever. Not transmit her thoughts, but speak. For the life of me, I couldn't understand the words, yet knew from whence they came.
"Va'hatah, hamilchama hagedolah bainaynu ba'ah l'suf."
She was speaking to Discord in his native language. A language that had been dead for countless eons before I had even been born. This was... uncanny.
The words seemed to echo in my mind, and my body shook with every syllable. Every letter was like a hammer pounding on my eardrum.
I knew now why Discord never spoke his native tongue.
The very letters that made up the language were blasphemies against nature. It felt as though the air around me had somehow been profaned from the words staining it, and that the fibers of my being had soaked up that profanity.
Then suddenly, the world grew silent. The roar of the flames, the screaming of ponies, the thundering of hoofbeats all in one instant ceased. Only one singular sound pierced through the veil of silence.
A low, painful gasp.
I opened my eyes as much as I was able, and saw Discord gasping, as something bright and ethereal flowed from his eyes and mouth. A second later, he fell to the earth, still and unmoving.
I feared he was dead, but his head slowly lifted up, just before he vanished in a flash of purple light.
The sky began to grow dark, and I watched with a mixture of awe and disgust as a cloud of Changelings descended upon Twilight. There must have been thousands, if not millions of them, headed by their Queen. They swarmed around the goddess, striking with magic, fangs, and chitinous hooves.
She didn't even flinch. Through the black sea of carapaces, a single shaft of violet light arose, reaching high into the atmosphere and beyond my line of sight. This line expanded into a ring, and then expanded outwards, like a ripple on the surface of a lake. In its wake, the Changelings dropped like flies. Those immediately around her fell instantly, while those further out had a few extra seconds before their inevitable death.
All that remained was their Queen.
She looked broken, utterly defeated as she watched her hive perish. It was hard to tell at this distance, but I could have sworn that I saw tears in her eyes.
The Queen without a kingdom let out an earsplitting scream, channeling her sorrow and rage into a powerful burst of magic, delivered directly to Twilight's chest.
Nothing.
Chrysalis was thrown suddenly to the ground, just before Twilight brought a hoof down on her skull, crushing her like an insect.
Then, Twilight turned to me.
I tried to fight.
I tried to run.
I tried to scream.
Nothing.
"I'm not going to kill you."
My entire body went numb from her words. It suddenly dawned on me that it was not Discord's language that had disturbed me so.
It was her voice.
"Not yet."
It was a single voice, and yet it was many voices. It rang out at a volume I scarcely could describe. Like tens of thousands of shouts ringing in my ears in perfect unison.
"You and Discord started this, and plunged Equestria into madness. Its only fitting that all of Equinity should watch as you die."
Her eyes suddenly bored deeply into me, and I felt an intense heat ignite my body. I screamed, and this time my mouth remained open. Through my mouth a viscous, ethereal fluid began to flow. I recognized this feeling.
It was the feeling of magic flowing from one's body.
I tried to resist, but found I was rooted to the spot. Just as suddenly as it had began, it was over. My magic hovered in front of me for a second, then fell into the dirt where it vanished. Before I could even react, Twilight was gone.
I lay on my back against something cold and hard. Gone was the fire, the injured ponies, the charred homes and ashes. In their place was a marble throne room, now fitted with only one throne.
I lay there for what felt like hours. I knew I could move freely now, but I had lost the will to do so. My body was aching, my head was swimming, and my magic was gone. What was there left to fight for? The right to die?
I looked to my right, where Discord now sat. He glanced down at me, sighing softly.
"Took your magic too huh?"
I nodded.
Discord laid on his back, assuming a position similar to mine.
"What I wouldn't give for an ice cream sundae right about now."
I am Princess Luna.
I am nothing.
5728193 aka, poorly thought out plot convenience.
seriously this is not a good story at this point. contrived and contrived again here.
5682966 that is bullshit dude. ever heard of expert of all yet master of none? while she has a lot of magical skills and potential she does not have specialization. she could use chaos magic, but even a her greatest effort discord owuld be better. she could move the usn or moon but even at her greatest effort, she owuld be inferior to celestia and luna.
expert of all yet master of none.
this is just your run of the mill op tiwlight takes over fic, and with as much thought that is put into any of those involved.
5674456 yet the element of magic is not that powerful on its own. its true power comes from the other elements. in reality its importance and power is simply as a focusing device. it is whta turns magic of the five virtues into power, yet without them it is far less.
thus it is a contrived plot device at this point.
5673224 or it is plot contrivence....... seriously you actually think that it is something thoughtful and not just lazy writing?
Book-Horse is OP. Nerf plz.
5537899 because she is a villain sue in this fic. a very blatant one.
5753481
Can't contain that sort of chaos to just 1000 words. Believe me. I've tried.
5728193
In that case, Twilight has no hope of winning, or even of achieving anything.
If her power knows neither limit nor bound, it can not be under her control, but only she under its.
And even if her power answers her whims and not she its, all she ever does will be meaningless since she can undo it just as easily. In the end she has nowhere to go but her own shallow nihilism, for her power may be beyond limit, but not she. Then she will forever be trapped in a world of cardboard where everything has ceased to hold meaning. And she will not be able to end herself, since her power defies limitation and therefore cannot abide her destruction.
Well done, Twilight Sparkle. You will forever be miserable. And probably angry.
Look at how angry she. Proper lil' divine temper tantrum.
5753420
My biggest complain is, we still have zero insight of how Twilight changed from adorkable bookworm to mad tyrant.
5753404
Except that's not the saying. It's 'jack of all trades, master of none' meaning, you're competent in many things, but not particularly outstanding in any of them.
5753661 I'ma just idly point you up to the story that, hopefully, you also read.
Sounds kind of familiar, don't it.
Ah, the madness of power unlimited and unleashed. It's a heady brew, and it's far too easy to lose sight of what really matters in the rush of it.
Somewhere between the start and the end, Twilight's gone and forgotten that there are other ponies to care for, and other beings that matter. Because all she can see are the tides of power she wields.
I give her, what, 10 days? 3 weeks at the outside. After that, either she'll absorb an energy field bigger than her head and explode, or some jumpity upstart with more hope than good sense and delusions of grandeur will give her the business end of the Rainbow Laser. A month at the absolute latest.
5753755 aaaah. thanks. thought i got that saying wrong.
5753418
Completely agree. The earlier story was good, but this one is just getting sucked down into Black Hole Villain Sue territory. Unless the author does something major within the next couple of chapters, this story may be beyond salvaging.
5753808
Didn't she already kinda do that, you know, at the beginning of the prequel?
Unless you're taking her ego into consideration, I would suppose absorbing Discord's and Luna's magic counts as 'energy field bigger than your head'.
img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20140512101532/mlp/images/7/7b/Alicorn_magic_transferred_to_Twilight_S4E26.png
Well, I suppose only Luna would just be about a third of that, but remember the square-cube law.
And, about the Rainbow Laser of Horrible Sparkling Doom and Ultimate Friendship, if her power's limit truly is that it has none, she'd win anyway. Even against the Elements. Because that's what power without limit means.
My point is, it was said that her power is limitless, and unless it is told otherwise (hmm, delicious retcon), that is what I'll stick with. To the letter. Because taking absolutes thrown around with little thought to their logical conclusion is fun. Also, because, well, I am-
Yeah. That one, too.
5754053
The beginning logically includes the prequel. So yes, we're in agreement.
You'd be surprised how many villains have heroes completely at their mercy, but screw up and lose anyway. Unlimited power doesn't keep her perfectly safe; it just means she has more options, and more ways to screw up.
5753969
I'm with you on that one.
Discord was only defeated by Elements of Harmony >> Give Twilight access to Magic that cannot exist Logically. or at least the language. Tirek ate magic, so maybe, but powerful enough to drain Discord? No. Tirek needed every ounce of pony magic of all races to overpower Discord. Twilight isn't that powerful.
Chrysalis stood hoof to hoof with Tia and won >> Twilight slaughters an entire changeling kingdom and Queen with a mere thought.
Twilight is one goddess. Chrysalis, Discord, and Luna compose a Godlike being, an Elder God of Chaos, and a goddess. Twilight wins anyways.
It's illogical, utterly ridiculous, and is wrecking what could have been an amazing story.
I get this is supposed to be a tragedy, but the real one is and should be the fall of Twilight.
Hell another point.
Made an Alicorn through the Elements, and her friends. Kills everyone responsible for her assension (as well as the pony who practically raised her to take her seat among the gods, and her foal sitter that loved her like a sister (Eventually becoming her sister in law), nopony questions it (Or the balme she shifts onto Luna and Discord), and Shiny bows to her easily.
So yeah I agree Villain Marry Sue. And a horrible one at that. Not to mention that she has broken Evil Over Lord rules with impunity. Including eating eating an enery field biger than her head (And the physical manifestation of all chaos in the universe definitely applies.)
Ireally hope the author shapes this fic up, and makes it as good as it could be / has the potential of being. Rather than. Twilight is the villian. Let's give her all the power, nothing bad can happen to her, and every potential threat to her is killed off because magics.
This has turned into utter garbage. Please, please explain how you're going to make it all better in the end...
5755310
Can't exactly give away the ending. That would defeat the purpose of writing it.
Glad to see that this has rustled everyone's jimmies that much though. All I can say about the future chapters is that what goes up, must come down.
i1056.photobucket.com/albums/t378/Ryan_Nesbitt/Ponies/pony%20memes/mlp_meme_2_by_cartoonanimes4ever-d6u98dw_zps3eb96f51.jpg
5754523
Now, I think we're not quite talking about the same thing.
Are we talking about 'unlimited power', meaning a lot of power with the ability to do a lot but still less power than other entities such as the Elements of Harmony, Chuck Norris or Coin the Sourcerer?
Or are we talking about the absolute 'unlimited power', meaning omnipotence limited by the conception of the sapient mind? That kind does not really work with comparison like 'more' or 'less' power. If the user wants something to happen, it happens. If the user is trapped, they can free themselves. If the user dies, they can resurrect themselves. If the user is sucked dry of magic, they can use their power to return it.
5755995 First, a point about Unlimited Power.
Omnipotence does not equal immortality, and omnipotent beings tend to believe they're above such things as dying. (Un)Fortunately, it doesn't matter if one can literally crack a star in half and drink the core like an egg; if one isn't immortal, sudden overwhelming injuries can still be lethal. But the thing is, I'm pretty sure Twilight hasn't hit Unlimited Power. She's still afraid of Discord, she still takes his and Luna's magic, and she hasn't shackled all Equestria to her will yet. She's still limited in what she can do, and so she's merely attained Unlimited Power instead, which we all know is fallible and easily overcome with guile and a naive belief in a vague and generalized goodness. Which somehow works all the time anyway.
As well, she believes she can be defeated. As long as the idea that she can be defeated exists in her mind, it doesn't matter how powerful she is, she -can- be, either because she has accidentally willed it so with her fear, or because she isn't truly omnipotent. Either way, between that and her obvious confidence in her powers, she's still capable of screwing up big time and eating Weaponized Friendship and Harmony in the worst way.
If/When she is inevitably confronted by the forces of goodness and all that cliched nonsense, I do hope she at least has the sense to avoid the line "This cannot be, I am invincible!" There are no more absolute ways to ensure one's defeat than uttering that line.
Discord's native tongue reminds me of some words in the Hebrew language.
5757116
Fun fact:
Omnipotence, by definition, means you can't be immortal. If you can't die, you're not omnipotent, as there's something you can't do.
Ok, that's just semantics. Still, it's something interesting I'd like to throw in.
5768498 So we're in agreement then. She is, in fact, still very mortal, regardless.
And that saying "I am Invincible!" is a terrible plan that she'll do anyway. Because narrative momentum is as inexorable as the heat death of the universe. Which, coincidentally, will be what is likely if she -isn't- stopped.
5755331
That may be true, but the question is whether it can be done before readers lose interest.
5777708
The purpose of writing is to tell a story, not to please readers.
5777731 If your story isn't interesting (or good), then nobody but you will ever want to hear it. It's not about whether or not we like it, but rather about if anyone will care enough to read it.
Suddenly, pineapples!
*OP Horse of purple realizes that magically potent horses are allergic to pineapples*
*Purple horse now understands the reason why no pineapples are grown in Equestria*
*Twilight keels over and dies*
5753395 At this point I'm not wondering when will it end but how it will end. The already immortal beings becoming the heroes is kind of old in my opinion. And it makes less sense for Twilight to leave them around.
Who will replace the elements.
5777731
What is a story without an audience? A tale without it's readers? Every story out there has been written to be read. If you aren't making a story that's to be read and effect your readers, then what's the point of even going through the time to write it?
The only real reason people have been following this story. Has been because the original was what a story was supposed to be. It impacted, it touched, if moved (Even if it was a painful one). This follow up?
You have taken all that was good with the first. And defiled it.
As has been stated in the next chapter. You, have Twilight win and do stuff in the most conrived manner possible. Heck I give a bullleted list onto why it is contrived, illogical, and messed up. And not in a good thought evoking way. But in the there's no way it could happen Way.
Twilight in the last fic was tragic. Her fall was something that made the readers feel for her, in one form or another. When the sequel came up. We all wanted to see what was going to be happen next.
But from the moment ths fic came out. It looks almost as if you forgot what a story was suposed to be about. And all that was good about the last fic was tossed out. Discord, who before could only be touched by the Elements of Harmony, can all the sudden be wounded by a mortal spell? Even when in his release he ate all the spells that could be used against him other than the EoH Spells? Luna, who was there, a dream walker, and can affect dreams. Didn't warn her citizens? The EoH can't find 6 new bodies after their old owner violated friendship? Griffons who have no magic spell casting abilities hold Armegedon Spells? Seriously? And Celestia and Luna didn't take those away and store them someplace secure?
But yeah. A story is made to be read. And in the long term is for the reader. After all, why write anything, if you have nothing to say? And why say anything if you don't care about anyone who hears it? What's the point?
5919889
*Starts clapping*
6276534
Well not unicorn magic. But still not really. Since that also means they have 0 ability to protect from magic users who'd want to gain access to those spells, as well as magic users to charge / upkeep magical wards to protect from magic users just curb stomping the door out of existence. [both of which happened in this fic.]
Telling nothing of Griffon's would could just sell that knowledge to magic users who are enemies of Equestria. After all a good apocalyptic distraction could both weaken Equestria's defenses, as well as turn all eyes away from Griffons long enough for them to do something clandestine.
That last line...
5919889
just like to say discord was able to have his magic stolen from him also what exactly says it was a mortal spell Twilight used on him more like our own opinions of it