The pirate war lord Vaas Montenegro has been resurrected in Equestria. Bloodied, transformed and more insane than usual, Vaas begins his journey of insanity.....again. Crossover with Far Cry.
Based on a FanFic by TheAnalogKid113(also known as thepopemobile100).
After dying at the hands of Jason Brody in Far Cry 3, Vaas Montenegro is transported to Equestria. Bloodied, transformed, and even more insane than usual, Vaas begins a new killing spree. However, messing with the residents of Equestria, can have deadly consequences....
Post 'Bad Ending' of Far Cry 3.
'Human' tag for events in Far Cry universe(if there's anything besides memories).
Rated Mature for blood and gore, violence, alcohol use, and strong language.
Insanity....is....doing the exact same fucking thing expecting shit to change. That is crazy. But, the first time somebody told me that...I don't know, I thought he was bullshitting me. So, boom, I shot him. But, the thing is, he was right.
And then I started going around and everywhere I looked, I saw all these fucking pricks doing the same fucking thing, thinking, 'this time it's gonna be different.'
No, no, no, please, this time, it's gonna be different. I'm sorry, it's just I don't like the way....you're looking at me. Is there something fucking around in your head? Do you think I'm bullshitting you? FUCK YOU!!!
Now, you see, the thing is, I've already killed you once, and it's not like I am fucking crazy! It's okay....it's like water under the bridge.
Have I ever told you the definition of insanity?
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Night Fury the Black presents.....
A take on a story by thepopemobile100....
THE DEFINITION OF INSANITY
NFB EDITION
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"Don't you just enjoy enthusiastic walks through the woods, Lyra?"
Lyra, whose face was buried deep in a book, simply nodded her answer, "Yeah, um hm, sure."
Fluttershy couldn't help but smile. Even though she barely knew Lyra and Bonbon, the duo would always lift her spirits, and that's something Fluttershy needed desperately, especially since they had convinced her to go through the Everfree forest with them.
"Fluttershy!"
Fluttershy was brought back to her senses when Bonbon said her name. "Huh?"
Bonbon pointed at a pair of large oak trees. Fluttershy looked closely, then noticed what it was.
It was a deer, a brilliant white-tailed doe. But something was wrong with it, as it limped on its back left leg. Then, she noticed that it had a small hole in its leg.
Fluttershy and Bonbon approached it carefully, not wanting to startle it and tear the wound further.
"It's okay,", Fluttershy said in a quiet voice. The deer came closer, Bonbon stopped, but Fluttershy kept inching closer. Eventually, they were right next to each other. Fluttershy inspected its injury, the small hole had been caused by a projectile of some sort. Maybe a small rock? Fluttershy was about to soothe the animal again, but she was interrupted by a loud voice.
"HEY!"
Fluttershy, Bonbon and even Lyra turned around to find a rugged looking stallion staring at them with strange eyes. The stallion was tan, with a solid black mane that had several holes in it, many matching that of the hole in the deer's leg. He had many schratches and scars covering his coat, including a large one going across his face. He wore a red shirt that was tattered. His Cutie Mark was two large knives crossed across each other. He did not look happy.
"YOU FUCK! THAT'S MY FUCKING DINNER! GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY DINNER!"
Fluttershy froze. The stallion was a hunter. She remembered when two of the stallions in Ponyville, Caramel and Big MacIntosh, had gone hunting one winter. The town was running out of food and the supplies from Canterlot wouldn't arrive for days. So, Caramel and Mac went hunting for food. They'd been gone for four days and barely caught enough for the town. But, everypony figured something out: when a stallion goes hunting, he won't easily stop the hunt. The reason hunters were rare in Equestria was the fact that ponies don't typically eat meat. Only those who were desperate or completely insane ate meat, and judging from this stranger's appearance, it was the later.
"WHAT ARE YOU FUCKING DEAF?! I SAID GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM DINNER!!!"
The hunter drew a large knife and stood on his hind legs, aiming the knife to throw. Bonbon stepped in front of Fluttershy and scolded the hunter, "Now just wait a minute, why are you hunting a poor, defenseless animal?"
The hunter jumped down and put the knife to Bonbon's throat, causing the mare's eyes to widen with fear. "I'll give you three words, you little piece of shit: I'M. FUCKING. HUNGRY!"
Bonbon started to slowly back away. The hunter apparently lost his rage, noticing the deer had fled, he sheathed his knife and turned to the mares, "I'm sorry, miss, but I'm really hungry, do any of you have any food?"
Bonbon was too frightened to answer him. Fluttershy simply shook her head. Lyra answered him, "Nope."
The hunter put a crazy look on his face, "No...no food? Well, that's just great. Now, you have no FUCKING WAY TO REPAY ME!"
He inched closer, unsheathing his knife again, "But don't worry, I'll have plenty of ways once you happily belong to me!"
The trio began to step back, until the hunter lunged at them. Bonbon took off running in the direction they'd ran from. Lyra soon followed. But Fluttershy, she tripped as she ran and soon found the hunter on top of her.
"Shhhh, stay calm, hermana, I've got you.."
Fluttershy felt something hard hit her head. Even though it hurt, she wasn't focused on that at the moment. Her vision began to go blurry, her mouth filling with the taste of blood. Eventually, all she could do was wait until unconscious overtook her, and that it did....that it did.
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"So, why is it you're not laughing anymore? I mean, you were laughing when I found you about to propose to your love, by the way, between you and me, the diamond you picked her really sucks, but anyway, why aren't you laughing anymore?"
Fluttershy woke up, with her forelegs tied to a tree and her mouth gagged. Looking to her left, Fluttershy saw two stallions tied and gagged like her, both were either asleep or dead, and she couldn't tell which. But it was to her right that frightened her more.
Another stallion, tied and gagged, was fully awake. But, speaking to him was the hunter who'd attacked her, Lyra and Bonbon earlier, looking as crazy as he did before.
"Well, I guess I'm not fun anymore, and you know what? FUCK YOU!"
The hunter smacked the prisoner and spit in his face. Then, looked at Fluttershy. "Well, glad to see you're awake! So, lets see here...."
The hunter picked up a piece of bark from a nearby tree stump and examined it. Then, pointed to each prisoner. "Wheater. Star Pelted. Fluttershy. And Sky."
Fluttershy froze at the name of Sky, the name of her childhood crush. She looked at the prisoner to her right, who looked at her with worried eyes. Yes, those blue eyes, that was him. Fluttershy couldn't believe it.
Sky turned back to the hunter and mumbled something. The hunter was apparently annoyed by the comment, "I'm sorry, what? What was that? DO YOU WANT ME TO SLICE YOU OPEN LIKE I DID YOUR FRIEND?! SHUT THE FUCK UP, OKAY? I'M THE ONE WITH THE FUCKING DICK HERE! SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
With that he turned to Fluttershy, "I'm sorry you had to see that, my dear. It's just he's such a dick...that I had to put him down to his level. Anyway, the name's Vaas. Now, if I were you, I'd pray to whatever the hell gods you worship, cause you and your friends look very...expensive....and I like expensive things!"
"I suppose I could hold you four for a few hundred dollars...or, whatever the fuck you ponies use as money..."
"YOU THINK YOU CAN DISRESPECT ME?! YOU WANNA FUCK WITH ME?! HUH, SKY?! I KILLED YOUR BEST FRIEND AND YOUR LOVE, YOU DON'T THINK I CAN DO THE SAME TO YOU?! COME ON, BITCH! THROW A PUNCH!!!"
Sky could barely lift his legs due to the amount pain on his back. Overnight, he and the unicorn Star Pelted had managed to break free of their bonds. But, when they'd attempted to free Fluttershy and Wheater, Vaas had caught them. He'd thrown the four of them in a cage and tortured them with his words until morning. Vaas had told them to stay put while he thought of a punishment. It in about an hour, Vaas returned, carrying a ten tailed bone whip. When the prisoners asked where he got it, Vaas looked at Sky and smiled, "Don't recognize 'em? Why it's Dark Mane and Lavender! Yes, I turned your comrades' corpses into a weapon, bravo, encore!"
Vaas began to laugh, but when he noticed the others weren't, he got up in Sky's face and menacingly grabbed the stallion's throat and lifted him up.
"YOU CHICKEN FUCK! WHY WON'T YOU LAUGH WITH ME!? AM I NOT THAT ENTERTAINING?! DON'T YOU LIKE ME?! FUCK YOU, HORSE!"
Vaas threw Sky to the ground and opened the cage. He drug the pegasus out to the large tree stump in the middle of the camp and tied Sky down.
"I'VE DECIDED YOUR PUNISHMENT, DICKWAD! Now, I'll give you a chance before every swing: Do you fear me?"
Sky turned his head to face Vaas, then spat on the ground in disgust, "Fu- Fuck you."
Vaas apparently went back on his previous decision, as he beat Sky one hundred times with the bone whip. Now, the royal guard's back had turned meat red, blood dripping from several wounds. Even though guards were trained to endure pain if they got hurt, this hurt like HELL. But, of course, Vaas enjoyed every minute of it.
"ARE YOU HURT?! DO YOU NEED A FUCKING TISSUE TO CRY INTO?! HERE!", Vaas kicked dirt in Sky's bloody face, then looked the gray pegasus in the eye, "Sky, I swear to God man, I love the amount of strength you're putting into this shit. But you're gonna lose, you'll die, the others will die and I'll carry on, so let me ask you: why do you continue to fight it?"
The question was actually the first thing Vaas had said to Sky that comforted him somewhat. But, nevertheless, Vaas was a psychopath, so Sky couldn't stay comforted forever.
"So I can protect the ones I care about from ponies like you."
Vaas chuckled, "Well, you failed with two of them."
Vaas knelt down next to Sky's bloodied body. "Let me tell you something: I'm gonna put a hole in Fluttershy's head, like I did to Lavender."
Vaas drug Sky back into the cage, then motioned to the other prisoners, "Let me show you fuckers how I deal with uncooperative slaves."
Vaas pushed the large Earth pony, Wheater out into the camp and slammed the door to the cage behind him. Then, he whistled. Wheater simply looked back to the other prisoners with a look of sorrow. But, his focus was lost when a loud metal cling filled the air....and when a sharp pain hit his gut.
Wheater looked down, his gut looked fine. Then, his coat turned a darker color. Wheater's eyes widened when he realized the liquid was blood. But things got even worse, as the air directly in front of him began to fizzle, until it revealed a perverted bone spear, protruding from his gut.
Wheater fell to his back. His blood leaking out onto the ground. He could hear Vaas scolding the other prisoners, however so faint.
"YOU SEE?! THIS IS WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENS WHEN YOU BASTARDS TRY TO FUCK WITH ME! Now, I'm gonna chill...."
Wheater couldn't hear anything more, as the cold touch of death hit him, and he slipped out of consciousness....
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Fluttershy could barely handle it when Vaas had nearly beaten Sky to death, so when the spear hit Wheater and the large stallion fell over and died, Fluttershy almost cried. Then, of course, Vaas laughed at the misfortune.
"YOU SEE?! THIS IS WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENS WHEN YOU BASTARDS TRY TO FUCK WITH ME! Now, I'm gonna chill, but I want you three to meet a few people. Saw! Claw! Maw! Get the fuck out here!"
For a minute, nothing happened. Then, similar to the spear, three figures materialized.
Fluttershy and Sky recognized them immediately: they were Changelings. But these were....different. First of all, their eyes weren't blue like the ones who attacked Canterlot, these were red. These also were slightly larger than Chrysalis's followers. Each looked different too. One wore a sleeveless, black vest and a doo-rag. Another wore a perverted version of the royal guard armor, and the other wore nothing but two metal shoulder pads; this one also had a large scar across its face.
The one in the guard armor walked up to the cage and eyed the prisoners, then, spoke in a cold, dry voice.
"These will be perfect for the Queen, you've been a great partner with our race, Vaas."
Vaas chuckled, "Where's the money?"
The Changeling turned to Vaas, "You be able to swim in bits once we tell our Queen and bargains with Celestia, it may take some time, but you'll be the richest stallion in Equestria!"
The Changelings and Vaas continued to talk, paying no attention to the prisoners, so Sky took his chance and turned to Fluttershy and Star Pelted.
"Alright, it's only a matter of time until Queen Chrysalis and the other Changelings get here. Apparently, Vaas is in cohorts with them. How do I know that, well yes, those are Changelings, but not just any, those are Changeling Elites, the special guards of Chrysalis. They haven't been seen in centuries, until now. But, anyway, I've gotta plan, follow along, cause we're getting the hell out of here."
Sky drew a line in the dirt, finishing his plan, with both Star Pelted and Fluttershy watching at him curiously. Sky hoped these two were following along, because he was probably the last hope they'd ever have. He didn't know about Star, but he did know that Fluttershy couldn't survive in the wild alone, at least with Vaas and the Changelings here.
Sky and the others were startled by a rattling on the cage door. They turned to find one of the Changelings scraping a stick across the door. It was the one wearing a doo rag with a black vest. His lips were curled in a snarling smile. He wore a look that just screamed "kill." But, it was his voice that startled them the most.
"I'm sorry, did I startle you? It's just you ponies seemed so...lonely. I thought I'd give you a little company."
Sky backed in front of Fluttershy and Star Pelted, a looked the Changeling in the eye, "We have plenty of company, go away."
The Changeling shook its head, "Wow, I would've expected something more from a royal guard who had just witnessed little old Saw impale a fellow pony's gut with a spear, but I guess not..."
Saw pulled a insect-looking hatchet out of his vest and strode over to Wheater's fresh corpse. The spear had been removed, but Wheater's face still held a horrified expression. Saw knelt next to it, turned to Sky and pointed at Fluttershy.
"I'd block her vision if I were you..."
Sky realized with horror what Saw was going to do, and quickly blocked Fluttershy's eyes with his hooves.
With that, Saw turned back the Earth pony corpse, then began to laugh. He drove his mouth into Wheater's dead body. Sky heard Star Pelted gag and go to vomit behind him, as well as Fluttershy cringe in fear at what she heard, and although he had been trained to not faze at things like this, Sky had to resist the urge to vomit as well. He closed his eyes for about a minute, cringing as he heard the squishing sounds of carrion being eaten. When he finally opened his eyes, Sky found that Saw had completely eaten Wheater, leaving nothing but a small pool of blood in its place. Star Pelted continued to vomit and Fluttershy teared up and backed into a corner when she saw Wheater was gone. Saw, apparently satisfied, turned to walk away, but stopped one more time and spoke.
"Unlike those stories your kind tells fillies about us; regular Changelings don't eat ponies at all. However, we Changeling Elites absolutely love pony flesh, and let me tell you something: IT'S DELICIOUS!"
Saw walked back inside the huts where Vaas and the other Changelings were, leaving the ponies to suffer at the memory of what had just transpired....
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Princess Luna was searching for somepony.
Ever since the news from Lyra and Bonbon had reached Ponyville and Canterlot that Fluttershy had been abducted by an insane pony hunter, her sister Celestia had issued a search warrant for Fluttershy and an arrest warrant for the hunter. While Celestia and the guards searched during the day, Luna and the newly reformed Discord searched during the night.
For three days, Luna and Discord had searched the dreams of ponies all across Equestria. Now, they'd found a lead, but not just any lead, THE lead. They'd found Fluttershy's dreams, a miracle.
However, Fluttershy's dreams were filled horrific memories, things even Discord would not have done in his chaotic state. But that wasn't all, apparently, the hunter, who's name they'd learned was Vaas, slept not yards away from her, and from him, they learned a great deal of his plans...
After hours of looking through memories, Luna finally found something useful. You see, a hero would be needed to defeat Vaas and the Changelings, but not just any hero. It couldn't be somepony like herself or Celestia. Nor could it be an Element of Harmony. Discord or anypony else wouldn't work either.
Then, Luna remembered a prophecy she had read long ago: When the insane and morphing unite as one; three must be chosen: a kind heart, a morphed soul, and two not of Equestria for the evil to be done.
Now Luna understood, this was that prophecy! Vaas and the Changelings were the insane and morphing and Fluttershy was the kind heart! While she still did not know what the "morphing soul" was, but she had a pretty good idea who the others where...and she had Vaas to thank for that.
Focusing her magic into her horn, Luna prepared the spell that would allow the two souls to enter a new life. All she had to do was speak two words:
Claw, Maw and Saw. Quiet, kiss ass, and insane. This is what Vaas thought of his new found allies.
So, his opinions standing, he slowly walked over to Claw, who was watching his companions wrestle over a knife. Lighting a cigar, Vaas stood watching the Changelings fight, then offered a cigar to Claw.
"Want one? It's a special type I got from an...'old friend.'"
Claw shook his head, "No, I don't smoke."
Vaas laughed, "You fucking joking? Wow! I didn't think someone who looks badass would be such a pussy to something as simple as smoking!"
It was then when a knife wedged itself in a tree next to them. Saw and Maw both quickly rushed over to it, while Vaas and Claw shook their heads, Claw in annoyance and Vaas in amusement. Saw made it to the knife first, and in one fluid motion, drove the knife into Maw's right hoof.
"Aw, Chrysalis dammit!" Maw yelled as the knife pinned him to the ground, with Saw's evil grin laughing him down.
"Don't think I've killed before," Saw said menacingly, "'cause I'll gladly do it again!"
A loud bang echoed through the forest, startling several birds and the prisoners. Both Saw and Maw turned to see what made it, only to find Vaas with a strange looking device that was smoking, like a tiny cannon.
"I'm sorry if I interrupted you twos' sexual intercourse," Vaas said with a chuckle, "but I think I have a much better game than you two trying to kill each other. So, come on, get the fuck up!"
The Changelings did as they were told and followed Vaas to the center of camp. There, they found a table with a set of cards and four chairs, Vaas motioned each to a chair, then sat in one himself.
Vaas then checked a sack for money, finding none, he loudly cursed, "Fuck!"
"What is it?"
"I don't have any money, we can't play without that shit!"
Maw stood up,"If you mean bits, then I can get you some!"
Under his breath, Vaas heard Saw mutter "kiss ass."
"Be my fucking guest," Vaas puffed out of his cigar.
Maw nodded, then motioned for Claw, "Come on, you can help."
Three hours later....
"And that's how the Cutie Mark Crusaders were born!"
Vaas, annoyed, sat up, and looked at Saw, "Saw. Why the fuck did you just tell me a story about three little girl ponies who want to get tattoos on their asses?"
Saw shrugged, "I was bored. Hey, maybe tomorrow I can tell ya about the time the Carmine bros came to Equestria!"
It was then when Maw and Claw finally arrived back at the camp, both carrying two large bags of...wait, where those fucking gold coins?
Vaas looked at them, confused, "Where the fuck did you get all that gold?"
Maw chuckled, "We robbed a Chrysalis damn bank. I tried to reason with the teller, but he wouldn't since I was a Changeling, so, I pulled his spine out and threw his body in a river!"
Vaas shook his head, "Whatever, man, lets go ahead and play."
They laid some bits on the table and Vaas distributed them, then, he went over the ground rules. Then, he spoke, "Guys, have ever told you, any of you, the definition of insanity?"
All three Changelings shook their heads. Vaas smiled as he passed out the cards, "Insanity....is....doing the exact same fucking thing over and over and over again, expecting shit to change. That is crazy. Now, take all that in, and throw down your cards."
They all did. Vaas earned an Ace and a 5, earning him a 16. Maw earned a 20 with a King and a Jack. Claw earned a whooping 9 with a 4 and a 5. And Saw, Saw earned a 21 with an Ace and a Queen.
"Hey, Vaas, how much is 21?"
"Oh, 21 fucking wins. Wait, WHAT THE FUCK?!"
Vaas stared in disbelief at Saw's cards, "How the fuck?"
Saw shrugged. Vaas shook his head and sat back down, "Beginner's luck, you know, that's fucking crazy man, I did the exact same thing the first time I played Black Jack."
Saw had a smug look on his face while he spoke, "Or I'm just fucking good."
Vaas laughed, "Yeah, let's see you get it again then."
Saw started laughing and pounding his hoof on the table. However, Vaas quickly silenced him when he held his pistol to Saw's head.
"Give me your fucking cards..." Vaas said with venom in his voice.
Saw did so. Vaas took them and slowly lowered his gun, but still kept it out. Examining the cards, Vaas found that they were in fact different from last time. Vaas looked at Saw, then back to the cards, then chuckled, "Well played, Saw, very well played..."
Vaas put his gun away. They continued playing for a good remainder of the day and night, but around 3:00 AM, Vaas called the whole thing off.
"Alright, that's enough, lets go torture those fucks. Great game though, and I'll admit something else: you three would make kick ass pirates."
With that, the four slowly made their way to the prisoner cage, eager for more blood....
Little did they know however, that the knife that Saw and Maw had been wrestling over, was now in the possession of a certain pegasus....
