Trouble times a Thousand

by DreamWings

First published

Ponyville is over run with clones. Everypony run for your lives.

Clones, clones, everywhere, and not a drop to drink. So many ponies, so little time to save Ponyville from their counterparts.

There's too many-- of everypony.

No clone gets left behind.

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“What in Equestria is going on here?”

Twilight stared around at the madness in front of her, perplexed. She had only been in Canterlot for a week and already Ponyville had descended into pure havoc without her. Surely she didn’t have to spend all of her time babysitting these ponies; she had other royal duties she needed to work on now too. Clearly she had her work cut out for her.

“Uh Twilight,” AppleJack simmered up behind her, “When did ah get another brother?”

Big Mac smirked at her from the corner of the field-- and from the left side of a tree-- and from behind the apple cart-- and from every other place in the Apple Orchard. And he wasn’t alone. Granny Smith waved all of her hooves from all over the farm before going back to her job of making all of the Apple Strudels for the thousands of mouths they would now have to feed. There was no way AppleJack was going to be able to pay for all of these brand new relations; they already struggled enough with there just being four of them.

“Please Celestia let this be a dream. Please Celestia let this be a dream,” Rainbow Dash begged into her hooves as she looked at all of the Derpy’s flying through the air up above them and crashing into every building in the small town. Building after building collapsed down near them; letter after letter dropped from the sky and down to the soaking wet ground. Rain flew down in torrents, the pressure of the crowded pegasus skies too much for them to not release their water. If they didn’t look out there would soon be a flash flood and no Ponyville left to speak about.

“Rainbow Dash,” Twilight shouted through the mass of cantering mares and stallions, “Get into the sky and clean those clouds up, quickly.”

“There’s no way through. I can’t get up.”

“Try Rainbow. It’s important.” The desperation in Twilight’s voice alerted the blue pegasus to flap her wings and shoot upwards, only to be kicked by one of the Cloudkicker’s hovering up twenty feet and crashing backwards on top of a Blueblood. Rainbow shook her head and looked down at the stallion underneath her.

“What the..? Why are you in Ponyville?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Blueblood snorted. He raised his eyebrows and puckered his lips. “You’re beautiful.” He moved his lips towards hers and Rainbow jumped off his back, kicking dirt into his face and shouting:

“And you’re desperate.”

With that she ran off to be with her friends again. Blueblood grumbled to himself.
“Typical. All of these mares, and yet even the clones don’t want to date me.”

“If it’s any consolation,” his duplicate stood next to him said, “I wouldn’t date you either.” He grimaced and flicked an overhanging hair on his forehead. That showed him--self.

The cyan pony made it back to her friends quickly, avoiding any Blueblood clones she saw on the way. Twilight frowned at her when she arrived, breathless, back on the scene.

“Rainbow, I told you to get rid of those clouds. Where were you?”

“I’d rather not say.”

The ex-unicorn frowned at her.

“Fine. I’ll keep trying Twi, but it might take a while.”

A rainbow shot behind her as she went back upwards and was greeted by another horde of ponies. Her friends watched as she shot back to the floor again. They grimaced. That one looked like it hurt. But they couldn’t afford to watch it for too long.

“Rarity,” Twilight said, “You and Fluttershy need to find out how this all started.”

The white unicorn nodded to her friend and looked around.

“Fluttershy?” she questioned, “Fluttershy? Where are you?”

From far away a mumbled call tried to answer her. The yellow pony, smothered by copies of her animal friends, couldn’t escape from their cute, furry little grasp. Help! Help! The cuteness, it burns! She didn’t know how long she could survive in their smothering hugs; she could only hope her friends would find her soon.

Twilight was just about to give up. Pinkie had been trying to make the arguing ponies stop fighting one another, but to no avail. Trixie clones paraded around starting fights with anypony who stood in their path, which was just about everypony in these crowds.

Each clone seemed to take all of the qualities of the original and enhance it by hundreds. So Lyra’s bounced more, Doctor’s ran more, Carrot Top’s ‘Carrot-topped’ more and Cheerilee taught whatever pony was next to her without a question as to whether they already knew the answers. It was pure and utter havoc, and Twilight didn’t have a clue what she should do. She could zap all of the clones like she had done when there were too many Pinkie Pie’s, but then she’d need to test each and every one of them to see which one was the real one. She couldn’t test every single one of these Ponyville citizens, it would take too long.

Supposing she merely asked the real ones to move over to one side, it still wouldn’t work. She wouldn’t know if the liars were telling the truth or whether the truth was telling the liars or-- anything like that.

And Rarity still hadn’t found Fluttershy.

AppleJack pushed furiously, trying to stop one of the Mac clones (or was it the real one?) starting a relationship with Gilda the Griffon. She didn’t even want to think about what the foals would be like if they got married. There was no way she would foalsit for them, that was for certain. After a while of trying to drag them apart she noticed the endless amount of other brothers flirting with all the other mares and colts in the large crowd. Why did Mac have to be shipped with so many different ponies? It made everything too difficult.

Twilight shut her eyes and listened to all of the noise. The banging of Pinkie’s drum, the loud crash as Rainbow fell to the floor yet again, Rarity’s intense searching for Fluttershy, the thousands of pony voices lifting from the air into her ear-drums. Really, being an Alicorn was even more challenging than she thought. Her temper boiled up inside her body. The noise was too intense.

Magic lifted through her horn and bursted into the air with a large flash of light. Silence fell.

She opened her eyes and saw nothing. Ponyville-- had disappeared, and all of the ponies along with it. Oh horsefeathers, so much for being a good Princess. She’d destroyed a whole town.

The violet alicorn sighed. Well, there was only one thing she could do now

“My turn.” And in a second she too had gone; nothing but an uncolored white space left behind for Celestia to find the next day. When it is discovered the Princess shall be upset; this is exactly why they couldn’t give away nice things. Hadn’t she already learnt her lesson last time when Atlantis ‘vanished’? Clearly not. Oh well, she’d have to start all over again with another pony. Better luck next time-- or the next time-- or the next time-- or the many times after that. At least nothing else could go wrong today.

MEANWHILE IN THE EVERFREE FOREST:

“Two bits Mr Discord and you can have a dip in our pool,” Sweetie Belle told the monster waiting at the cave entrance where they had set up their stall. Discord gave over his money and went inside, settling down into the water and relaxing his body.

“Ah think today went well,” AppleBloom stated. Her friends nodded. It had been highly profitable; it was a lucky day when they had discovered the secret pool in the Everfree Forest.

“Cutie Mark Crusaders Business Ponies rock.”

Inside the water a loud laugh came around the area. Discord opened his eyes and peered across the pool. His living reflection stared back at him with a smile.

“Chocolate milk?” he offered, while more clones walked onwards out of the trees to the wide outside of Ponyville. Time for chaos-- times a thousand.