Crunching of dead leaves under my hooves as I walk through the age old forest is all that can be heard, besides my steady breathing. The trees are almost bare of their leaves, a cold wind blowing against me. To anyone else, it would seem I was just wandering around, not heading for something at all. There is a small worn down pathway I’m walking on, can only be seen if you know it’s there, worn down over a few years of hooves walking or running down this path. My breaths create a small puff in front of my muzzle. I take a look around once more, ruffling my wings to try and get some warmth back into them; I start to realize that I’m close to it now. Damn, it’s cold out here; I should have gotten a thicker coat. I’m so close to it now.
As I walk a little further, I can see my destination in the distance. Without knowing it, I have picked up my pace a little bit. As I get closer, the ache in my chest grows. I finally reach the clearing, staring at the thing I came all the way out here to see. The clubhouse. I’m surprised the thing is still standing after all these years. The thing looks pitiful, what with the broken door, the peeling paint, part of the railing busted, and I think I see some of the roof caving in. It’s a complete mess. Yet it’s a place where a lot of memories were created. Some were good, some were bad, others were just plain awesome, while others are really simple.
I walk up to the ramp that leads to the clubhouse, testing it first with my hoof to see if the old thing would even hold me. Once I was satisfied, I walked up. I stand in front of the broken door, just barely hanging by its hinges. I step inside, ducking a little. I just stand there, looking around. Most of the stuff was still there. The table in the corner, the random things of equipment from past adventures, even the map of Ponyville is still hanging on the wall. I walk over to the map and chuckle at the sight, remembering the day we went all around town, trying to figure out what we were good at. It had all the major spots we could think of: Twilight's Library, Sweet Apple Acres, Rarity's Boutique, the school, and even the town hall. There is a pathway marked between each of them with a red crayon, and also each placed crossed out with the same crayon once we tried to find our cutie marks and it didn't work. I look around again, and that’s when I see something that brings a couple tears to my eyes.
It’s a picture of me, of us, huddled together, smiling, trying to get all of us in the picture. I slowly walk over to it. Standing in front of it, I just stare at the picture, looking at each of us in turn. I look at a little girl, with curly pink hair, giant smile, and eyes shining like no other. Her name is Sweetie Belle. I take a look at the other girl next to her, with long, red hair, big bright red bow in it, flashing a toothy grin. Apple Bloom, we called her. Then I take a look at the final girl in the picture and chuckle a little. It’s me, with my magenta spiky hair, that cocky grin, narrowed eyes. The one thing we all have in common. . .were the capes we were wearing. Those capes symbolized our club, our friendship: the Cutie Mark Crusaders.
It was a little club we all made together, a band of little kids without their cutie marks. I have mine now; I would have never guessed, back then, that it was the one thing I love doing the most, going pretty damn fast and doing awesome tricks with a scooter. I heard Sweetie Belle got hers for singing, which now that I look back on it, was pretty obvious, what with her angelic singing voice. I believe Apple Bloom found out she was really good with. . .what was that word? Oh yeah: carpentry; something with wood and building, I think.
I place my hoof on the picture, remember all the fun times we had. I take one last look around, and I see something on the ground. Confused, I walk over to it. It’s covered with some old leaves. I quickly brush them aside and gasp a little at what I saw. It was one of our capes, torn up. The cape was a maroon color, with our emblem decently stitched into the middle of it. It was a figure of a foal wearing the cape on a light blue background, nothing too fancy. It definitely didn't look that fancy now, all torn up. Memories of that day come flooding, unbidden; the day when the CMC broke up. The day our friendships ended.
It was only a few years ago, maybe three, but I remember it all too well. It started off as a normal day, really; we all met up at the clubhouse, trying to think of new things to try. We sort of just sat around, listing random things before realizing we had already done everything we listed. It wasn’t really that big of a deal, but then I started getting angry, angry and frustrated. Angry that we couldn’t think of anything good; frustrated that we wasted all that time and had nothing to show for it. The others tried to calm me down, but I wouldn’t listen. I started getting worked up, saying things I should have never said. I called Sweetie Belle out on how she was holding us back, being all dainty and fragile and whatnot. It seemed like she did nothing but constantly put down the ideas that I came up with. She started crying, but I didn’t notice, because that’s when Apple Bloom came in, telling me I was out of line; that I went too far. I didn’t care; I was in the heat of the moment. I practically yelled at her, calling her a farm hick, saying she was stupid and that it showed in school with how bad she did. Tears formed in her eyes, and her face showed pure anger and pure hurt.
“You ain’t all that great either, Scoots. Y’all are reckless, bull-headed, ’n’ always putting our lives in danger with those crazy ideas you get. Y’all have a serious anger problem. Ah mean look at what you done; you made poor Sweetie Belle cry.” Apple Bloom sniffled, trying to hold back tears. “Yeah, I know we been havin’ a hard time figuring it out, but that don’t excuse you acting like such a jerk. Ah thought we were friends, but friends don’t treat each other like this,” she finished.
I was hurt by what she said, and that hurt only made my anger worse. “Well then, maybe i ain't a crusader!” I yelled at her. The anger vanished from her eyes, only hurt left in them. “And maybe,” I yank off my cape and throw it on the ground “we aren't friends, neither!” That did it. Tears started flowing from Apple Bloom’s eyes. She gently grabs Sweetie Belle’s leg, putting her other leg around her, trying to comfort her. “L-let’s go, Sweetie Belle,” she whispered to her. Sweetie Belle clings to her, crying her eyes out. They both start slowly walking towards the door then stop. Apple Bloom looked back at me, and I look at her. She shakes her head and walks out.
I stood there, seething with anger, staring at the door. Then I slowly start to calm down, remembering what happened, then my anger flares up again, this time towards me. I start stomping on the cape, then pick it up and start tearing at it. I stop mid tear, my anger quickly turning into sorrow, and toss the cape aside. Tears start welling in my eyes at the revelation at what just happened, I looked around the clubhouse, then quickly ran out, hopped on my scooter and drove away.
I stare at the cape in my hooves now, remembering that it was mine, tears dropping onto it. I hold the cape close and silently cry. After a few minutes, I wipe my eyes, trying to get rid of the tears, and walk out of the clubhouse, the cape slung over my back. I look around the clearing, remembering all the fun times we had out here. I remember the time we were preparing for our school talent show, and how much of a disaster it was. With me trying to sing, Apple Bloom coming up with the moves, and Sweetie Belle coming up with the costumes. We didn't get the medal we were trying to go for, but we got a different one, the most comedic act. We didn't care, it was just another opportunity to get our cutie marks, but were still happy that we actually won something.
I slowly start down the ramp, not even bother making sure it can hold my weight this time. As I reach the bottom, I take one last look at the falling apart clubhouse. A few fresh tears rolling down my face, I turn away and start down the same worn pathway I used to get here. I was leaving behind a great piece of my childhood. A place where I had the greatest memories. . .and the worst. No matter what happened, I would always remember my time there, with my two best friends, who are lost to me now. I hope that one day, we can all get back together again, and go on one last adventure, for old time’s sake.
I plop down onto my twin sized bed, exhausted after a day of practicing my tricks. I’m so close to getting my latest trick down, just needs a little work. As I lay there, thinking about ways to improve my trick, I slowly start drifting off to sleep, wearing my protective gear still.
As I drift off to sleep, I start dreaming. I’m sitting there, once again fixing a wheel on my scooter because of a dumb rock. I finally fix it and race onwards, in the direction of the clubhouse. It was an awesome summer day, the weather was warm and sunny, not a cloud in the sky. Seems like a perfect day for some crusading.
As I’m zipping around on my scooter, I see the clubhouse, and grin with excitement. I arrive and quickly place my scooter against the tree and run up the ramp and burst inside. I see Applebloom and Sweetie Belle Belle already seated around the one small table we have. They look at me and smile, greeted me, and went back to talking. I walk over and say “hey guys, what’s up?”
“Oh just thinkin’ of more ways to find our cutie marks.” Applebloom says in her southern accent.
“But unfortunately, we can’t think of anything,” Sweetie Belle Belle pipes in with a touch of sadness in her high pitched voice “maybe you can think of something?.”
I sit down between them, scrunch my face into a thinking one “hmmm, maybe we could…nah, already tried that, hmmm” my eyes shoot open “oh, maybe we could” I sigh and slouch” wait never mind, did that too.” It goes on like this for over an hour, one of us either starting to say an idea and realizing we did it, or an idea gets suggested and the others say we did it. I thought I had a couple good ones, but once again, Sweetie Belle Belle shot them down because they are either “dangerous” or “risky”. She really needs to lighten up.
After an hour of silence, I got angry, and started yelling at them. That memory of the fight playing as a dream, feeling all these emotions again, I didn’t want to go through that again.
I jolt awake, sitting up. I take a couple of breaths and let out a big sigh. This is the fourth time that has happened, ever since I went back to the clubhouse a couple months ago. I keep telling myself that I’m over it, but these dreams are telling otherwise. I shake my head and look around my room, seeing how much of a mess it is. “Maybe picking all this up will take my mind off it” I mutter to myself.
I get up and start picking up and putting away the various things around my room. I picked up clothes, some equipment, a couple Wonderbolt memorabilia, a picture of Rainbow Dash “how the hay did this get down here?” I exclaimed as I put it back up on the dresser, and few things of trash. As I am doing this, I pick up a small pile of clothes, and I uncover something that I lost not that long ago. It was that torn up Crusader cape. I look at it for a sec, put the pile of clothes in my hooves to the side, and pick up the cape. I run my hoof over the emblem on the back, a tear coming to my eye. It finally hits me how much I truly miss them, miss the fun times we had, and how much I want them back.
I quickly finish up cleaning my room, putting the cape on my bed. After everything is put away, I take a quick whiff of myself, cough a little, and decide that I need a shower before I do anything. So I take off my gear and quickly jump into the shower. After about ten minutes I get out and start drying myself off, fix my hair into my usual messy but cool style, but some deodorant on, and exit the bathroom. I grab my saddlebag and stuff my cape into it, along with my emergency tool kit for my scooter.
As I’m about to leave it dawns on me, I don’t know where to start looking. Last I knew, they both moved away, and I have no idea where they moved to. “Hmm, oh wait, maybe one of their sister’s friends knows where they went, now just got to figure out whom to go to.” I start making a mental list in my head of who I could talk to. Rainbow Dash is working right now at the weather station and Fluttershy is probably helping some of her animal friends again. Maybe Twilight would know where they went; she is the town’s librarian and all.
I exit my house, hop on my scooter, and head towards the towns library. I hardly ever go in there since I don’t like reading all that much, but I do know that it’s big and has lots of books. It’s also a giant carved out tree, which is pretty cool I have to say, just like how Fluttershy’s house is also out of a tree. Also I know that Twilight and her assistant, Spike live in the upper part of the library, so she is almost always there, she is such a book worm it’s kind of scary.
I finally arrive at the library and park my scooter up against the building and go inside. I take a look around real quick to see if she is around, which she isn’t. I call out her name. She comes down the stairs on the other side of the room, not really looking at me.
“Hello, how can I help you” she finally sees who I am and her eyes widen a little “oh hey there, I haven’t seen you here in a while, is there something I can help you with?” she asked me with a quizzical look.
“Yeah actually I was wondering if uhmm, you knew where Applebloom and Sweetie Belle moved to” I ask, not really making eye contact.
“Now I don’t mean to be nosy but, I thought you three weren’t friends anymore or something like that, why do you all of a sudden want to know where they live?”
“Well, that’s just it, I want to find them so I can…hopefully be friends with them again. I went to the old clubhouse a couple months ago and found my old cape. I have been having this dream of that dreadful day…in fact I had one just this morning that finally got me to want to find them. I want to fix the mistake I made, and I was hoping you could help me with that” I look up at her with pleading eyes, a tear in one of them “do you think you could help me out? I know that you are really good friends with their sisters.”
She looks at me with kind eyes “Of course I can help you, I still send letters to Applejack and Rarity, since I know the addresses. Now, were you looking to send just a letter?”
“Yeah, that would probably be the better start, and since I have no way of actually going to go meet them, wherever they are. Oh and one other thing” I reach into my saddlebag and pull out my torn up cape “do you think you could fix this for me? Or know someone who can? I would really like it fixed and…possibly wear it if we all do meet up.” I look down at the cape as I say this, thinking of what might happen if that did happen.
“I’m not sure if I would be able to fix that, I don’t really know how to sow and well” she takes a look at the cape “it looks like it needs more fabric to repair it anyways, here, how about I give you the addresses so you can do your letters, and I will send my own for Rarity to ask if she can either fix this or make a new one. I’m sure she would just love to see you all get back together again.” She told me with a smile on her face.
“Thanks Twilight, I really appreciate the help” I give her the cape
“Alright then, let me just write down the addresses for you and you can get started” she walks over to a nearby desk and pulls out some paper and a couple envelopes, writes on the envelopes and comes back over and hoofs them to me “you can do it here and sit at the table over there if you want” she points at the table
“Ok, I think I will just do that, and once again, thanks” I hug her real quick and go and sit at the table. She goes to her room upstairs to give me some privacy and quiet to think. I sit and stare at the paper, wondering how I’m going to do this. I never really have been that great at expressing myself, nor that great at writing. This is going to be difficult.
After about 15 minutes of thinking, I finally decide on how I’m going to write it. I start writing on a piece of paper, saying how much I’m sorry for what has happened, that I visited the clubhouse recently and how it brought back the memories, and how it has started those dreams I have been having. I write down how these dreams made me realize how much I really miss them.
Twilight comes back down just as I was finishing the letter up. I sit there and reread it a couple times, making sure I have everything down that I wanted to get down. After I’m sure it all looks good I ask Twilight if she was done with her letter. She says yeah and asks for me to put mine in the envelopes so she can go and mail them. I quickly do so and give her the letters. She takes them and puts them in her own saddlebag, saying she will send them later when she goes out for some errands. I thank her once again, and leave the library, heading back home.
I was happy but also nervous. I really hope they forgive me for what happened, and that it took me so long to realize and apologize. Twilight said before I left that it would be about a week or so for a reply back. That means I have to wait a week, anxiously, to get their answers. This is going to be a terrible week; I just hope I can get through it alright.
