Scootaloo goes back to the old clubhouse, to remember old memories one last time of her best friends. It was going good, with her remembering some good times. Then she finds something that brings up a tragic memory, one that changed her life.
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I did see a few grammartical errors here and there but that's a good story
Its good, But I think there's too many grammar mistakes and alot of "I don't get this" in the story. But you still have my like.
Is this in humanized form?
Besides that the story was awesome but sad...
But still awsome!
2185613 Yeah it was, i fixed the terms. I originally did this as a school paper and thought it would have been best to completely humanize it, guess my editor missed a few things.
2185224 Thanks for letting me know, i believe i got most of the grammar errors, and some of those "i don't get this". If you still see some of these, please just let me know
To some extent this feels like a good idea for an episode. Scootaloo starts getting upset when the CMC can't think of any new ideas and lashes out at Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle. All 3 of them say very mean things and storm off and throughout the entire episode the ponies in town try to encourage them to rekindle their friendship and make up.
Still this really hit in the feels.
This story touched my heart. As I am typing this, I am crying. This story is very touching and very sad, and yet, I still read it. These are the type of stories I like to read. Its such a great story, and yet, its still sad.
Yeah, I can see scootaloo having anger problems. THE FEELS!
yes, these emotion thing's don't fit what I'm trying to say, but there the only CMC character's on the list. 
No feels. I'm sorry, but it was mostly because you kept changing tense. Also because it seems a little outrageous that one fight can break up such a strong friendship so easily.
Still, the idea was good. You get a thumbs up.
Alright, I know I made this out to seem like it was a one-shot, but I had to do another assignment for school and decided to do a second chapter. And yes you see that right, it is incomplete because I am going to be doing another chapter for this, possibly the last one, or maybe not. It may not be perfect with grammar and spelling or anything else, I edited the best I could, so if you see any mistakes, please point them out to me, that would be really helpful...so I guess enjoy the new chapter and I hope y'all like it
one big mistake, you're supposed to use "hoof" instead of "hand"
. Anyways I like the sadness of this story, keep it up
don't worry man, I haven't seen many grammar errors, well, except for the pony terms
2708216 GAH!! I thought I got them all! Well they are all fixed up now, thanks for telling me
Let's start with addressing the first issue: sentence choppiness. Here - if you read the paragraph below again, you'll find that the sentences are split up into several sections, all tied together with commas.
You can combine the sentences to make it flow better like this: (which may/may not involve deleting or adding parts of sentences, depending on how you choose to rephrase it)
As I walk a little further, I can see my destination in the distance, and I subconsciously begin to pick up my pace a bit. As I get closer, the ache in my chest grows. I finally reach the clearing, and I see what I came all the way out here to see: the clubhouse. I'm surprised the thing is still standing after all these years. The thing looks pitiful.... [continue from here]
Another thing: tenses of verbs. Sometimes you tend to change it.
Example sentence:
It's not as obvious in that sentence, but the first part and last part don't quite add up. Usually, based off of the story, you switch between using 'ing' at the end of verbs, but you also tend to use what I believe is called "future-perfect" tense (forgive me if I forget the name) - eg: have _____ed, or had ______ed, etc. with the 'ed' at the end.
If you change all the tenses to be the same (usually, the majority of the audience tends to prefer past tense, with a simple 'ed'), reading it becomes easier for the audience.
Overall, not bad for a first, and good luck with the rest of your story!
-Hannah
2715046 Uhmm..wow, thank you so much, now that you point it out, I can see what you mean
Just saw this one.
Wish we had Sweetie Belle's take and Apple Bloom's take on all this.