Discord teams up with the Announcer on the war-torn battlefield of Badwater Basin, and forces the Mane 6 to battle the TF2 team against their will. Curiosity gets the better of both teams, however, and they come to question why they're fighting.
Discord teams up with the TF2 Announcer on the war-torn battlefield of Badwater Basin, and forces the Mane 6 to battle the TF2 team against their will. Curiosity gets the better of both teams, however, and they begin to wonder why they’re fighting in the first place.
Please critique/comment on what I need to improve. I want to get better, but to do that I need feedback. Thanks!
No gore, no obscenities, no shipping. Just plain, clean storytelling. The ponies don’t know where they are or how to fight. The teams aren't automatically “friends”. This story is about what I think would happen if the Mane 6 and TF2 Team suddenly met for battle.
Above ground, sounds of gunshots, ricocheting bullets and empty struggle shot out from an enclosed battlefield. Rockets, bombs, and angry glances flew haphazardly over the weathered desert terrain. The war was going nowhere, and the men were going nowhere as well. In a few short minutes the battle would be decided, a victory fanfare would play over the loudspeaker, and the men would wait in a small square room until the day’s next conflict.
Hundreds of feet down, under a layer of dirt, a layer of rock, and a thick tempered layer of stainless steel sat the Announcer, posed in front of her sixteen-panel display. She sat in contemplation, her long fingernails making a ratta-tat against her smooth plastic armrest. On most days she would watch the screens intently, working the camera angles and typing up the score and killfeed at a million words per minute. Today, however, she had a guest, and it wasn’t just management to bring her toast and black coffee. Her guest didn’t have any security clearance, and yet here he stood before her, seven feet tall in a three piece suit. He was unexpected and entirely unaccounted for. As they sat and chatted, they made eye contact at an odd angle to her metal desk.
“So let me get this straight,” said the Announcer, slightly amused, “you don’t work here and yet you’ve managed to end up in the very center of this very secure facility and none of the staff have managed to spot you yet.”
“Well, yes, I suppose you could say that,” said Discord, “though I must say it took barely any effort to get here. These walls are made of plain metal, you know. If anything, the walls conduct magic, rather than hindering it.”
“Well, I guess since you’re already here there’s not much I can do,” said the Announcer. “If I call management to throw you out, it would put the entire company on edge. They take security very seriously here. I guess I don’t blame them, with all the guns and bullets flying about up top.”
The Announcer shifted some weight to her armrest, her bony fist pressing up against her face. She was poised in her chair, eyes half-glossed over, and only slightly interested in what the god of chaos had to say.
“So, why are you here?” she asked, her other hand flipping over in a weak inquisitive gesture.
“I mean, it’s not a particularly exciting job,” she continued, “Of course I get a laugh here and there, and the pay is pretty good, but most of the time it’s just working numbers. Lots and lots of numbers. Red Scout died once. Mark one for Red Scout Deaths, and mark one in the kill column for the other poor sap that got the high ground on him. The Red Demoman sent the Blue Sentry skyward. One point for the Demoman, and an ear-piercing alarm for the blue Engineer. The blue spy managed to chain-stab the entire red offense again, so we’ve got to account for that too . . .”
Her voice trailed off, and a blank expression washed over her face.
“It just gets so blasted boring sometimes. Sometimes I wish something would happen. Something that hasn’t already happened a thousand times before.”
“And that’s exactly what I’m here to help you with,” Discord resolved. “After all, is there any harm in introducing a little fun every now and then?”
• • •
“Where are we?” Twilight asked from the center of the room, though she wasn’t expecting a good answer. “Is everyone okay?”
“Ah feel fine.”
“Um, okay I guess.”
“Don’t worry darling, I’m fine.”
“I feel great, Twilight! Can we do it again?”
(“No.”)
“I’m feeling pretty awesome, Twilight.” The most modest pony of the group paused for a moment in thought.
“But come to think of it I guess I always feel this awesome. So what spell did you botch this time, Twilight?”
“I didn’t do anything, Rainbow, I swear this time it wasn’t me.”
“Yeah save it for next time Twilight, can you just get us back so I can keep on training?”
“Sure thing. Everypony ready?”
Without much effort Twilight produced a small purple aura at the tip of her horn, which quickly grew to encompass all six of them. In a bright flash of light, the six ponies disappeared for home, and in another flash of light they reappeared in the center of the very same room.
“Come on Twilight, stop fooling around,” Rainbow said, slightly annoyed, but upon looking over at Twilight she took back her words.
Twilight was frazzled and confused.
“I didn’t bring us here and I don't think I can get us home. Something is keeping me from getting a magic lock on Ponyville. Since we’re here - and presumably stuck - we’d better figure out where exactly ‘here’ is.”
The room was relatively small, brightly lit, and painted white except for the tasteful red trim along its perimeter. There was a bench near the edge of the room, and next to it a cabinet containing all sorts of first aid. A wide metal door represented the only way out of the room, and it was locked. A bookshelf caught Twilight’s eye, but to her dismay it was filled with metal instead of books.
“Hello little ponies.” A familiar villainous voice came suddenly from the loudspeaker. “I know this is probably not how you saw yourselves spending the afternoon, but I really think you’ll come to enjoy it. I’ve made a new friend, you see, who watches men play games all day. From what she told me, it sounds like it would be an absolute blast to play with you ponies. I can’t wait to get started, but first she’ll fill you in on some of the details.”
A faint metallic screech and a fumbling noise punctuated the change of speaker.
“Listen up men, err, horses, or whatever you are, today’s game will be Payload, on the map Badwater Basin. This means there’s a heavy little cart for you to pull. The people dressed in Blue are your enemies. They will do everything they can to prevent you from getting the cart to the end of the tracks.”
“Enemies?” spouted Fluttershy incredulously, her legs shaking as she realized that she’d spoken up.
“Yeah, if you want someone to move that cart so badly,” added Applejack, “wouldn’t it make a lot more sense to work together?”
The loudspeaker regressed to a feeble static hum.
“It’s a game, little ponies,” Discord retorted sharply. “The cart doesn’t mean anything, the game doesn’t mean anything. Not even the men mean anything, really. It’s just all in good fun. If you can get that cart down the tracks, you can go back home.”
And the ponies, unable to get home by themselves and unable to see their new supervisors, realized that’s exactly the way it had to be.
• • •
Over at the blue base, the team was aglow with anticipation of the upcoming three day weekend. They were lounging around the break room, slowly whittling down their last hours on the clock. Like most of the facility, the room was composed of concrete with some wooden accents, but it felt homely enough. Sniper was playing darts with Soldier, and Engineer was tinkering with bits of metal on the hardwood floor. Across the room on the beaten-up couch, Spy and Scout were laughing about the stupid happenings of the last few matches, and Pyro was over at the snack bar delicately trying to re-melt the sugar on a glazed donut. Heavy and Medic were sitting in the easy chairs talking to each other quietly, and Demoman was passed out peacefully on the center of the floor.
“Can’t wait for the weekend,” someone said.
“Just a few more hours,” said another.
A familiar voice came over the loudspeaker. “Break time’s over. Get ready for battle.”
Everyone slowly finished their conversations, got up, and made their way to the next room over.
“Today we’re going to change the rules a bit,” stated the Announcer in an unwavering voice. “The upcoming battle will be unlike those you’ve experienced before.”
“Oh what is it this time lady?” babbled Scout, equal parts excited and agitated. “Do we have to wear bigger hats this time? Is it melee-only?”
“Bitte schweigen, Scout,” said Medic. “It’s only for one more match. Whatever it is, it can’t be zat bad.”
“I don’t know, Doktor,” said Heavy, with his eyes on the ceiling in deep contemplation. “Maybe this time is not the same.”
“I don’t trust the Announcer on this one,” said the normally soft spoken Sniper. “She’s got a weird tinge to her voice. I can’t imagine it’s good for us.”
As the team suited up and chose arms from the supply shelves, the atmosphere was thick with unease.
The ponies stood in the cold white room, trying to think of a unifying plan as the beginning of the match approached.
“Ah don’t trust Discord to make this a fair game,” said Applejack, “If we get set apart for any reason, we meet right back in this room, y’all hear?”
The team expressed their approval.
“Mission begins in thirty seconds.”
“Well I think we’ve got our work cut out for us girls,” Twilight said confidently, “One of my friends is an expert on anthropology, and she told me that humans are squishy and not terribly strong. If anything," she said, "you have to watch out for their smarts.”
“Mission begins in ten seconds.”
“Get ready everyone.”
“Five.”
“Four.”
“Three.”
“Two.”
“One.”
A loud siren played in the far distance.
The metal door rolled up from the bottom and the ponies stepped outside. The warm summer air was crisp and undisturbed, as if the atmosphere itself was expertly curated just for this event. Weathered wooden buildings lay steadfast in a labyrinth, blocking and granting access at random. The landscape was dotted with light tan boulders that matched the arid desert sand. The air was still, the ponies were silent, and time itself paused briefly in hesitation.
“Ah think that’s the cart,” said Applejack matter-of-factly, pointing at a metal apparatus not far from where they were standing. “Best we start pushin’ it?”
Applejack nonchalantly trotted over to the cart and BOOM. A sharp sound echoed through the air.
Applejack flipped over forward landing squarely on her face. About a second later she disappeared from the field in a subdued *poof*, and after another second she popped out of the white room again, a bit confused yet entirely unscathed.
“I don’t think I understand the rules of this game,” Rarity projected towards the sky, with a slight frown on her face. “You want us to pull the cart, but as soon as we get near it you send us back to that room? How do you expect us to...”
BOOM. Rarity hit the ground, *poof*, and then trotted back out of the white room.
“Hey!” she snapped, "If you keep doing that, we might as well not play at all.”
“I unno, might be kind of fun,” said Pinkie, as she bounced unpredictably over to the metal cart. The same unmistakable BOOM filled the air a few times, kicking up little patches of dust behind her, but Pinkie remained more or less near the cart. To her surprise, the cart reacted to her presence and began moving on its own.
“Come on everypony!” yelled Pinkie, and the rest of them followed her lead, not really knowing what else to do. As soon as they huddled around the cart it began emitting a faint lively glow, accelerating along its rails. As the cart gained speed, the ponies gained confidence.
It was too easy, they thought. And they were right.
When the cart reached momentum, a cadet blue figure popped out from behind one of the rocks. Then another, and another, and soon an entire group of humans were charging angrily at them.
Twilight tried to count the hostiles that emerged, but she didn’t have enough time. In a flash of intense light and sound, she found herself square in the center of the white room. One by one her friends popped in around her, with mixed expressions on their faces. Pinkie Pie was smirking and trotting in place, whereas Applejack was looking down in contemplation. As Rarity paced back and forth, Fluttershy buried her nose in the far corner of the room, whimpering quietly.
Twilight walked towards Fluttershy and paused to compose herself before she spoke, but Fluttershy interrupted in a distressed string of word pasta. The strongest voice she could muster was a vocal whisper:
“Twilight!” she whimpered under her tears, “Twilight, can we go home?” Fluttershy pulled her face out of the corner and looked up at Twilight with soulful eyes. “Please Twilight just try. I know you tried before and it didn’t work but please can you try again? Just one more time?”
“No problem Fluttershy, I promise you I’ll do what I can. I think I can speak for everyone in saying we don’t want to be here. Is everyone ready?”
Twilight stood tall on all fours and her horn began to fluoresce, but she faltered as she remembered she was forgetting something.
“Where’s Rainbow Dash?”
Twilight turned to look back at the rest of the ponies, and as she did so, Rainbow Dash popped into the back corner of the room upside down, falling on her back, and jumped right back into the air on her wings.
“Did you see that?” Rainbow exclaimed, beaming as she did restrained loops and rolls around the tiny room. “I swear I’ve never felt so alive. I don’t even really know what happened to be honest I guess I was up in the air and I just flew really fast. I saw the rocks and the tunnel and all the buildings, and everyone was just standing around on the ground yelling at each other and looking at you guys. One of them was really fat and he could barely even run!” Rainbow snickered to herself for a moment, then continued on. “I’ve got a great feeling about this and I just thought of a plan too, listen up. I bet if we can get close enough to them we can pin a few of them down. Maybe we can get some info from them or at least take ‘em out of commission. Those gadgets over there are what they’re using to send us back here, you know.”
All eyes fell on the bookshelves with the weathered metal tools.
“It’s a precision thing,” continued Rainbow Dash. “Every one of them was holding one of these as steady as they could. Remember when you were practicing turning things into oranges, Twi?”
“So we just have to figure out how to use them?”
“Exactly, Twilight. They could only hold one each in their stubby little paws. I bet with your magic you could pick up this entire shelf at once.”
• • •
“Mission begins in sixty seconds.”
The blue team stood in the cold white room, trying to think of a unifying plan as the beginning of the match approached.
After a moment the spawn doors opened, and the team moved out to defend.
“I don’t trust ze Announcer to make this a fair game,” said Medic, as the nine of them jogged up to the rocky Badwater outcropping, “I say we should take cover until we know what’s up. If things start going bad, we’ll need to meet up again and think of a new strategy.”
The team expressed their approval.
“Mission begins in thirty seconds.”
As they situated themselves around and behind the rocks outside of red spawn, Scout ran in place, flipping his bat in his hands out of nervous habit.
Pyro glanced back towards blue respawn, then looked onward.
“Mission begins in ten seconds.”
“Everyone ready?”
(“Ready as we’ll ever be.”)
“Five.”
“Four.”
“Three.”
“Two.”
“One.”
A loud siren played in the far distance.
Each one of them stood still, peeking out at the distant respawn from his position behind the boulders. The air was crisp and undisturbed, and the battlefield was quiet enough that they could hear their own heartbeats. A few moments passed in silence, then a little purple figure ducked through the respawn door, then a pink one, an orange one, a yellow one.
“Are those . . . horses?” Sniper whispered quizzically to Engineer, who was one rock to his left.
“They look more like ponies, actually,” replied Engineer under his breath. “And I’ve never seen colors like that before. I’m thinkin’ maybe the Announcer’s goin’ nutty. ”
“She’s already a grade A nutcase if you ask me,” joked Sniper, who looked a bit guilty as he realized he’d raised his voice far above a whisper.
On the opposite side of the battlefront, Heavy, Medic and Soldier peeked over the rock, a mix of dumbfounded and amused.
“What should ve do?” whispered Medic.
“What you think Announcer want?” inquired Heavy.
“She would want us to fight like the men we are,” replied Soldier.
A faint rustling caught Sniper’s ear. One of the opposition had started towards the cart.
With the orange pony in his sights and urgency in his voice, Sniper whispered over to Engineer, “What do I do? Engie, they’re going for the cart! Do we fight them?”
“Heck yes. That’s the point of the game, right?”
Sniper’s finger was resting in the trigger guard, unsure of whether to shoot or wait for more to unfold. His mind was racing, and his thoughts turned to mush.
BOOM.
Before the orange pony could get to the cart, Sniper had landed a perfectly aimed, unpremeditated crit. Seconds later the same pony walked back out of the respawn room.
After a moment another one started whining indistinctly, the pitch of her voice wavering at high frequency.
BOOM.
“I don’t know, Engie, do we keep fighting them? It feels wrong. Like strangling a kitt’n.”
“As long as they’re coming out of that spawn, they’re enemies. You remember basic training, don’t you Sniper?”
“. . . yeah,” Sniper replied hesitantly.
“The Announcer wouldn’t have sent them out here if we weren’t supposed to fight ‘em,” added Engineer. “Remember the first time she sent those metal imposters out?”
“. . . yeah I guess you’re right,” stated Sniper, with a bit more confidence.
Sniper looked through the scope to find the pink one bouncing up and down. After establishing its gait, it started bounding randomly towards the cart.
“Steady, steady . . .”
BOOM.
Sniper cursed under his breath.
BOOM.
BOOM.
“Aw come on,” chided Engie, “I’ve seen you do way better than that.”
On the other side of the field, Soldier was getting antsy, running his giant launcher through his hands repeatedly. “We should fight, men. Sniping over rocks is for cowards. The sooner we fight, the sooner we win.”
Heavy and Medic looked at each other, trying to gauge the other’s enthusiasm.
Soldier cried out and pointed at the respawn door. All the ponies had started moving at once, and Soldier seized this opportunity to take control.
“Go Go GO, Charge!” he yelled, sprinting out from cover.
The team was instantly mobilized. Heavy jumped out from behind the rocks and Medic followed immediately after. Pyro, Demoman and Scout ran around to flank on the right, and Spy went invisible and positioned himself near the spawn door. Sniper stood up to get a better view, and Engineer sat there and kept him company.
The team worked in tandem as they had rehearsed a thousand times before, and this time was no exception. Heavy and Pyro went in for close-range battle, while Medic juggled an ubercharge between the two. Demoman and Soldier followed behind them with mid-range blasts, and Sniper and Engie functioned as remote support. The adrenaline of the fight flushed their faces in the afternoon sun, but when the opposition had been decimated and they congratulated each other with cursory glances, they couldn’t help but feel empty. Was this really the Announcer’s test? The lopsided battle resulted in no casualties, and the defending team had barely broken a sweat.
It was too easy, they thought. And they were right.
“Listen up girls,” instructed Twilight, inside the spawn room, “I’m going to need each and every one of you out there and on your hooves if we want to win this. I’ll lead and Rainbow Dash will provide aerial support. Rarity. Applejack. Flank on the right and disarm as many of them as you can. While I’m creating a distraction, Pinkie and Fluttershy can sneak through the tunnel and attack from behind. We can win this if we cover each other’s backs. Is everyone ready?”
“YEAH.”
“THEN LET’S GO KICK SOME FLANK.”
Twilight busted out of the spawn room door holding somewhere between twenty and thirty guns in an aura three times the size of her body, screaming at the top of her lungs and shooting in all possible directions at once. Rainbow Dash bolted over the horizon in a zigzag path, Applejack and Rarity galloped over the boulders, and Pinkie and Fluttershy made a break for the tunnel.
Twilight mowed down the front lines with all the grace and precision of an orangutan with epilepsy, taking out Heavy, Medic and Soldier all at once, then focusing her efforts on the second line of defense. Applejack popped in and out of the rocky cover, disarming Pyro with a swift upward buck that sent its flamethrower in an arc across the battlefield. Rarity trotted alongside her, plucking the sticky launcher out of Demoman’s grasp. In the meantime, Twilight had already pushed the cart halfway through the tunnel. So far, the blue team was down three with two disarmed, and the ponies had received minimal return fire from the stunned opposition. Scout had fled as soon as the majority of his teammates had been rendered useless, Engineer picked up his gear and retreated for better cover, and Sniper followed shortly behind. With their agility, stamina, and massive element of surprise, the ponies were positively annihilating the unprepared enemy team.
Twilight was sure they had figured out the rules of the game.
• • •
Just past the first checkpoint, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie explored the concrete architecture. As they trotted through corridors and past door frames, a blue glow caught Fluttershy’s eye.
“Hey Pinkie,” Fluttershy said in a voice that sounded loud to her. “Pinkie, look!”
Pinkie Pie kept on bouncing along. ‘She probably heard me,’ thought Fluttershy.
Fluttershy cautiously peeked around the corner to investigate the source of the light.
“Twilight? Is that you?” she asked, as she continued into the room.
The small room was filled with a few objects that Fluttershy couldn’t place. One of them was short and spinning, another sort of tall and rocking. Yet a third just stood there, with a funny gauge on the front like she’d seen on some of Twilight’s inventions.
“Twilight?”
Just then the short spinning machine began to spin faster and glow more brightly, and Fluttershy closed her eyes to protect herself from the light. When she opened them again, a large human over twice her height stood in front of her. Fluttershy stood facing him, paralyzed in fear, legs shaking, looking up at him with her large teal eyes.
“Da,” said Heavy, looking curiously at Fluttershy and seeing that she was unarmed.
“Pony,” he spoke once more, while Fluttershy stood as still as she could, her legs unwilling to move.
The two of them stood facing each other for a few more seconds, neither sure of what to do.
“you . . . you can speak?” Fluttershy asked in a restrained sort of way, still looking up at Heavy.
“Da,” replied Heavy, “You speak too.” Heavy put his hand up to his chin and raised an eyebrow. “Is big surprise for me.”
Another moment passed by, the two of them looking directly at each other, trying to think of what to say. Fluttershy continued to look up at Heavy with her sparkling blue-green eyes, and an innocent smile gradually made its way across Heavy’s face. Fluttershy saw Heavy smiling and she couldn’t help but start smiling too. Her legs stopped shaking, and she blew her hair out of the way of her eyes.
“You . . . are . . . adorable!” said Heavy as his expression erupted into a big goofy smile. He picked up Fluttershy behind the front legs, gave her a small hug, and held her out at arm’s length, the both of them beaming at each other the whole time.
“Soldier said to fight you,” Heavy said, with a slight frown on his face, “Soldier is great leader. But I also think Soldier sometimes is wrong.”
Heavy put Fluttershy down and paused another moment in reflection.
“Why do we fight ponies?”
“I guess I don’t blame you,” replied Fluttershy softly, “After all Discord said this is a game, and it makes sense that you would want to win . . .”
“Dis cord?” asked Heavy, picking up an electrical wire running out of Engie’s dispenser.
“He put us here and made us play, and he made me cry too,” Fluttershy said firmly, “I hate him so much, he doesn’t even care about us. It’s all for his own fun, nobody else matters to him.”
“Sounds like Announcer,” replied Heavy. “She put us in many many battles. She does not ask if we are tired or need break. All that matters is if we win. She says we win more battles, then we get break.”
The small spinning device began to pick up speed again, and in another flash of light, a leaner figure appeared in front of Fluttershy. She jumped and backed a few steps away, looking back at the doorway.
Medic’s eyes locked onto Fluttershy’s as she hunched down and took a few more steps backwards.
“Raus, RAUS,” Medic projected firmly towards Heavy. “Schnell, Heavy, ze pony is our enemy!”
Heavy stood there taken aback, his gaze divided between Medic and Fluttershy. So many thoughts were running through Heavy’s simple mind, and he just stood there trying to make heads and tails of everything.
“Pony is . . . friend?” said Heavy, looking up weakly into Medic’s piercing frown of disapproval.
“No, Dummkopf, pony is enemy.”
Heavy stood there for another moment, looking at Fluttershy and then back up at Medic.
As Heavy’s gun began to rev up, Fluttershy scampered down the hallway and out of sight.
• • •
As the teams adjusted to each others’ attack patterns, the battle became more chaotic and evenly matched. Over a handful of respawns, Twilight and Applejack had managed to push the cart past the first checkpoint, and had begun progressing towards the middle of the map. Pyro was chasing Pinkie all around the battlefield, but couldn’t manage to keep up. Engineer and Sniper had picked up a few more times in retreat, taking cover as the offensive front advanced. Both teams had lost all organization, and combat had more or less devolved into a free-for-all.
Engineer and Sniper were chatting with each other near their mechanical stronghold, which sat on top of a building overlooking the second cart checkpoint.
“I’ve got to thinkin’,” started Engineer, as Sniper was concentrating on battle, “Why exactly would Announcer send out little horses to fight us?”
Engineer sat down next to where Sniper was standing, his legs dangling over the edge of the building.
“Is she fixin’ to humiliate us, maybe?” Engineer continued, “‘Cause it’s workin’ if you ask me. Maybe it’s another test, just to try and see if we can keep the team together . . .”
Sniper continued to look down his scope, taking shots now and then.
As Engineer turned around to check up on his gadgets, he found Applejack staring him square in the face, with Rarity behind her, backing her up with a sticky launcher.
“I’ll send you ruffians right back to where you came from!” exclaimed Rarity emphatically, yet managing to retain propriety in her voice.
Engineer raised his hands, reluctantly accepting his fate. Sniper ignored them and kept on shooting into the distance, figuring he might be able to get a couple more shots off before being sent back to spawn.
“Now wait just one minute sugarcube,” said Applejack, “maybe these fellows have some last words.”
Engineer thought for a moment as Sniper took a few more shots across the map. He let out a sigh, and looked down at nothing in particular.
“Y’all remind me of someone . . .” Engineer said, turning his head towards the far-away battlefront. “Y’all remind me of my days at university. Things were simple back then - I would set off in the day to study, and at night I would come back and tend the farm with my Pop.”
Engineer sat for a minute in reminiscence. The battle raged on as a single tear rolled down Engineer’s face.
“Y’all remind me of my very first horse, Cassy. Beauty she was, passed down to me by my father. We used to go everywhere together. I rode her to university every day, and every day I would take her past the general store to buy her a fresh apple and a sugarcube. Times were tough, what I spent I didn’t have, so I had to take the first job I got, which was here. I promised I’d come back as soon as I could afford to.”
Engineer covered his forehead with one hand. Tears were streaming down his face, and his breaths were heavy and irregular.
“She died a year after I got here. I’ll never forget the day I received that letter from my Pop.”
Engineer took a deep breath and wiped his tears on his sleeve. He looked up at Applejack, his voice fortified with resolve.
“It’s my fault for not staying at the ranch.”
Applejack and Rarity stood silently across from Engineer, eyes wide open in shock. Sniper was still shooting into the distance, oblivious, and beginning to forget there were others beside him.
A figure of a yellow pony slinked up aggressively behind Rarity and Applejack, and a second later they found themselves back at spawn.
• • •
“Fat guy on your right! Explosion man up on the building! Rocket man just around the bend!”
Rainbow Dash was up in the air, relaying back and forth over the battlefront and barking overhead intel to Twilight, who kept steady pace with the cart. They had made it past the second checkpoint and were pushing further and further into enemy territory. Rainbow Dash had been in the air since the teams first met, yet hadn’t been hit once the whole time. Sniper had long since given up on her, preferring the easier targets on the ground, and the rest of the team had realized she was out of range and not a direct threat. As the battle progressed, Rainbow’s turns were becoming loose and sloppy, and she found herself fighting air resistance.
“Twilight I’m takin’ a break!” Rainbow shouted over the noise.
She turned back and landed on the building near the second checkpoint. Rainbow took a deep breath, stretching her legs and wings. She wanted to be quick in getting back to Twilight, but she’d been flying near top speed for a while, and realized that a few seconds rest could mean a few more minutes in the air.
After taking a few deep breaths, Rainbow stretched one last time in preparation to rejoin the battle.
As she saw Twilight push the cart in the distance, she watched Scout run parallel to her through the buildings, ducking and dodging through doorways. A few yards in front of him was an exit to the main battle area. He was going for a surprise attack on Twilight, Rainbow was sure of it.
Rainbow Dash jumped in the air and took off at full speed towards her opponent. In less than a second she had covered almost a quarter of the battlefield. In approaching Scout she braced herself, planning to take him down and yell for Twilight’s attention.
Just as Rainbow Dash was about to make contact, Scout jumped a bit up in the air to clear a piece of terrain, causing Rainbow Dash to hit his feet as she swooped by. The surprise impact caused Scout to flip over backwards, his hat, gun and headset landing in the packed dirt behind him. Rainbow Dash stopped in mid-air and glanced back at the crash site, seeing Scout and his accessories strewn across the sand in display. Rainbow flew over to get a better look.
“You okay?” Rainbow asked, holding back a chuckle.
“That’s what I’m talkin’ about!” Scout yelled enthusiastically. “I seen guys pop out from behind buildings, jump down from ledges, peek around corners and even go invisible. Ain't never seen a guy come clean out of the sky like that.”
“Not a guy, mister. Name’s Rainbow Dash and that’s kind of what I do. I’ve been in and out of the sky since I was a little filly.”
“Yeah, well a team could do good to have someone like you around, just takin’ out knuckleheads from the clouds the whole time. Say, you’re awful fast for a little ball of fluff, would you mind helpin’ me gather up my junk?”
Rainbow Dash and Scout both burst into laughter. “As if,” she said, rolling her eyes, "I’m not about to give you your weapons back.”
“Yeah well I thought it was worth a try at least. It worked one time on Heavy.”
“So where are you guys from? Where exactly is this place?” inquired Rainbow Dash, sitting down next to Scout as the battle receded farther into the distance.
“You mean they didn’t tell you?” Scout asked, looking at Rainbow Dash in disbelief. “TF Industries, weapons manufacturer. The one over there’s a Scattergun Model 104. They make prototype versions of these guns and give ‘em to us. Our job is to fight on this simulated battlefield, they do the numbers and then give us more weapons to try. They’re all totally harmless, the prototypes at least.”
Scout paused with a smirk, then asked Rainbow Dash half-jokingly, “Wait, are they even payin’ you?”
“I’m stuck here - not sure how I ended up in this place actually.”
“Aren’t we all,” Scout replied with a snicker.
“If they’re paying, though,” continued Rainbow Dash, “I gotta remember to collect my paycheck.”
She thought for a moment, then looked back up at Scout.
“Payment in bits, right?”
“Dollars, and what are bits, anyway?” Scout asked. “I’m guessin’ you’re not from around here, I mean I ain’t never heard of usin’ bits as money. Guess I haven’t seen too many talkin’ horses either.”
“Proud Pegasus from Cloudsdale, and don’t you forget it. Winner of the best flier award, first pony to break the sound barrier, and all around best gal to hang out with.”
The conversation went silent, and Rainbow Dash and Scout sat for a moment looking at each other awkwardly.
“Well I gotta go back and be there for my team,” Rainbow Dash said. “Maybe I’ll catch up with you later.”
With that, Rainbow Dash spread her wings and flew back towards the action.
“So what happened next?” Announcer asked, trying not to crack up. Discord sat across from her as they shared a pot of earl gray tea.
“Well, they all went a bit nutty really. All I’d done was make a few renovations to Ponyville. I bet they would have gotten used to it after a while. But even after I put spells on them, they still came back to defeat me with the Elements.”
Discord stroked his beard with a slight frown.
“I guess it goes to show that you can’t be in charge forever - these things have a way of correcting themselves.”
Discord snapped his fingers and a small plate of baked goods appeared on the table in front of them.
“Would you care for a scone?”
Announcer looked up into Discord’s content, smiling face, down at the baked goods, and finally towards the line of monitors.
“I’d better start typing up the battle report. The boys at QA will want to see something for all this time.”
“If you insist,” said Discord, in good humor.
“Let’s see . . .” the Announcer started, as battlefield noises rolled in over the tinny speaker. “The battle has been pretty well matched so far. The team has kept together as well as I could expect them to.”
She paused for a minute, populating a summary table with the tippy-tap of her nails against the keyboard.
“And the color puffs are good learners. Impressive, in fact. You’re positive they haven’t fought before?”
“Sunshine and lollipops, the whole way,” reassured Discord. “Well, whenever I’m not around.”
The typing went on for a few more moments and then came to an abrupt stop, acknowledged by a beep from the computer. The Announcer leaned over and pressed the microphone toggle on her desk.
She spoke loudly and clearly, with a sly undertone in her voice: “The cart has almost reached the final terminus.”
Announcer reached over for some more tea, leaned back in her office chair and watched the rest of the battle unfold.
• • •
As the cart rounded the final corner of the map, Rainbow Dash instantly recognized the goal at the end of the tracks. Both teams were beginning to wear down in spirit, but as the ponies drew slowly towards the finish, they were reinvigorated by the knowledge that it was almost over.
Twilight and Applejack pushed the cart as Rainbow patrolled the air. Rarity slinked through the shadows near the enemy respawn, and honestly none of them really knew where Fluttershy was.
A ways down from the action, Pinkie Pie bounced out of the spawn door, humming her own little tune that harmonically conflicted with the gunshots in the distance. Taking a few meters in each bound, Pinkie made good pace back towards the battlefront.
Pinkie stopped bouncing and looked back reflexively. The entire path back to spawn had been perfectly packed dirt, and yet her cadence had been somehow thrown off. A shiver went down Pinkie’s spine as she retraced her steps to investigate. The gravel resonated with the pitter patter of her hoof prints connecting her chain of landing spots.
Squish.
Pinkie stepped on what appeared to be another flat patch of ground, but instead of the rough sound of shifting gravel, she was met with a soft squelch. Even more shockingly, her hoof wouldn’t touch the ground. It was as if there were some unknown force keeping her from touching down all the way. With a blank expression on her face she put all four hooves on that same spot, and then looked down to find herself a few inches off the ground. She looked at her legs, amused. She was standing in mid air!
Just then she heard a sharp moan come from under her feet, and she shrieked and jumped off to the side.
“Eugh,” muttered Spy, as he decloaked under where she was standing.
“WHO ARE YOU?” Pinkie yelled at Spy, growling under her breath.
“Well let’s just say I’m not on your team,” said Spy, still lying face down on the ground, “I bet you probably figured as much.”
Spy carefully righted himself in the dusty crossroad, and took a moment to brush dirt off his suit. The sun hung low in the late afternoon sky, and the buildings cast long shadows across the narrow path.
“Your pony friends have been befriending our team,” said Spy emotionlessly. “I heard it with my own ears.”
The two of them faced each other as the first hint of evening chill blew through the basin.
“I saw Heavy holding the yellow one,” continued Spy, “and Scout with the blue. I sat and listened as Engineer poured his heart out at two others.”
Pinkie stared at Spy with a mild look of distrust, which quickly changed to a snarl. “No way I’m letting my guard down,” she said with a sneer. “There’s no way my friends would do that. They know what’s best for us, and that’s pushing this cart so we can go home.”
“I think not.”
Spy matched Pinkie’s stare with a calm, calculated glance, and faced towards the battle.
“And the strangest thing,” Spy added, “I think it will be to your advantage.”
Pinkie stood across from him, her aggressive stance slowly dissolving into confusion.
Spy brushed himself off and adjusted his watch and tie. In an abbreviated gesture, he disappeared silently in plain sight.
“Wait!" Pinkie yelled. But Spy was already long gone.
• • •
Blue spawn filled with a flurry of colors as the ponies and men battled at the crux of the cement stadium. Frigid evening air swept through the battlefield, rattling patches of loose sand across the concrete. Spawn after spawn, the ponies would push the cart up, and the blue team would defend it, rolling back their advance. The sun could be seen only on the mountaintops of the distant desert backdrop, and the first stars began to appear in the sky. Both teams fought incessantly to prevent the other from winning, but they were beginning to fatigue after the day of battle. As the last of the evening warmth faded over the horizon, the pit was suddenly illuminated by the bright blue glow of fluorescent fixtures. This was the last stand for both teams, and they knew that the fight would be over soon.
“Ding.”
Everyone looked over at the cart, which sunk into the ground and shot a small, singular flare into the air. The battlefield immediately went silent, and all that could be heard was the faint whistle of the wind blowing through the rickety buildings that surrounded them. Everything was quiet, and for the first time, everything was peaceful. Both teams, chaotic a few seconds prior, now looked at each other without vitriol, without the contempt and criticism that drove them a few moments prior.
The loudspeakers scratched indecisively before relinquishing control to the Announcer.
“Bravo, well done, all of you,” she said straightforwardly, chasing her praise with a series of claps.
Her broadcast echoed starkly, trying to escape from between the cement structures. The teams looked at one another in anticipation.
“Well, I guess you can all go home now. Enjoy your three day weekend and I’ll see you back here on Tuesday morning.”
The microphone hummed faintly with feedback for a few seconds, and ended eventually with a click. The teams were getting a bit edgy, looking at each other with uncertainty.
The loudspeakers came alive again as Discord added a finishing remark.
“That goes for you too, ponies.”
Upon hearing those words, Twilight lost her composure, and her heart started racing. Adrenaline shot through her limbs and a blunt pressure rushed to her head. She tried to think of a reply to Discord, such as “You broke your word,” or “Take us home,” but instead she stood on the cement, silent and helpless, her friends surrounding her in a similar state of turmoil. She pictured herself battling in the same dilapidated compound every day for the rest of her life, or maybe for the rest of eternity. Fluttershy burst into tears followed by Pinkie, the two of them holding each other as Rainbow paced back and forth worriedly. Twilight attempted to collect her thoughts, still shaking from the prospect of being trapped.
“I don’t know what to do . . .” she murmured defeatedly, her head hanging low.
The blue team stood a few feet away from the ponies, beginning to recognize the gravity of the other team’s situation.
Heavy hesitated for a moment, then began to step cautiously yet deliberately towards the ponies. They had been demilitarized by Discord’s threat, and none of them so much as flinched at his approach. Heavy glanced back at his team, who were frantically signalling for him not to advance. He continued towards Fluttershy, kneeled down, and began softly stroking her mane. He stared back at his team with the intensity of a thousand suns, a tear of suffering rolling down his face, falling to the ground in martyrdom. Fluttershy looked up at Heavy, fighting through her tears and mustering a tiny empathetic smile.
Sniper was bold enough to make the next move, taking off his hat in somber recognition of the loss. He was followed by Engineer, who walked over to embrace Applejack, and in turn Scout stepped towards Rainbow Dash, who stopped pacing and looked up at him, the two of them sharing some sort of communion over the turn of events. One by one the two teams converged, attempting to carry the burden of the overwhelming sorrow in the air. They stood in each others’ presence for an indeterminate while, waiting as time tempered the intensity of their emotions.
Heavy was once again first to break the silence.
“I quit,” Heavy said with a disgusted look on his face, speaking sternly to convey the message to his teammates. He spoke adamantly, drawing energy from the tension in the air. “I have fought many battles,” he continued, “And when I fail, Announcer gives me will to keep going.”
Heavy took a moment to rest his voice, and to collect words for his next few sentences.
“Our goal is to win. Our team is forceful in spirit and battle.”
Heavy’s voice trailed off, and his nose crinkled in disapproval.
“But this,” Heavy gestured weakly with his hand, “Our team does not stand for this.”
Taken one for one, the team members were of negligible value to the company, but together they felt the professional power of being an irreplaceable team.
“I quit too,” Sniper said briefly, and tossed his hat off to the edge of the battle-torn arena.
“Yep,” added Scout, “I don’t need the money enough. I’m outta here.”
“Seems like as soon as you meet new friends in this place,” continued Engineer, “Announcer does something to muck the whole thing up.”
One by one the team came to agreement. None had realized how fed up the others were until everyone’s feelings came to an unguarded climax.
“How 'bout we all hit the bar,” suggested Engineer, feeling rather proud of the team’s accomplishment that evening. “There’s still plenty left of the night so far . . .”
Engineer’s voice trailed off as he looked back at the ponies, who still looked miserable on the cold cement. His train of thought was interrupted by the Announcer, whose voice blasted suddenly from the loudspeaker.
“YOU CAN’T DO THAT,” Announcer screamed, trying and failing to command authority in her voice. “I promise I’ll be better to you. I promise you’ll get more breaks, and I promise the battles will be easier. Leaving the company is not an option. What else can I promise you?”
Announcer’s voice conveyed genuine fear over her employment.
“I’m afraid it’s too late for that,” replied Engineer, and the rest of his team mirrored his decision in friendly glances.
They heard a loud bang over the intercom, and a door slam in the background. Another voice took over the microphone.
“Well you’ve got me in a bind, ponies,” clamored Discord, “Without Announcer on board, there’s not much I can do. Sure I could keep you here, but what’s the point if there’s no one else to play with?”
Twilight took the opportunity to speak up.
“How about you take us home then, Discord? You said yourself there’s no point in staying here, the least you could do is take us back to Equestria.”
“I guess I did say that . . .” Discord reiterated, trying to buy more time to think. “I suppose we can go back now. It just seems like such a shame that things turned out the way they did.”
Before Discord could teleport the ponies back to Ponyville, Twilight did so first, putting them near Twilight’s house and giving them a head start towards the Elements of Harmony. Discord followed shortly after.
The blue team stood under the stadium lights for another minute as static came in over the main loudspeakers. Contrary to what they expected, they felt closer to one another now that they weren’t forced together as a team by the company. Even if they were drawn apart by distance, as time would certainly guarantee, they would always remain together in spirit.
“Less get drunk,” murmured Demoman, and they all walked towards the bar down the road.
