Twilight Sparkle; Appleloosan Sheriff

by Peridork

First published

Twilight Sparkle becomes the sheriff of Appleloosa and has to deal with all the craziness that will come with the job.

Twilight Sparkle gets sent to Appleloosa to learn about the magic of friendship and get a job. Twilight will have to learn how to get friends and deal with the crime that a frontier town would have to deal with. Not to mention the problems that the Equestrian Industrial Revolution brings with it. The frontier will never be the same...

Inspired by the movie Wild Wild West.

Pomp and Circumstances

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Twilight was sulking. She felt that her life was completely over and rightfully so.

Canterlot was celebrating the Summer Sun Festival. Twilight Sparkle sat in the front row waiting for the show to begin. She looked around the pavilion, noticing four alicorns: Princess Luna, Princess Celestia, her daughter Natura, and Cadence. She also saw the Royal Consort, Discord, lounging on his favorite cotton candy cloud. This was the 1000 Celebration since the defeat of King Sombra and it was a celebration for the entire populace of Canterlot.

This was also the night before Twilight’s new reassignment in Appleloosa.


Earlier This Morning

Twilight was super excited for the Summer Sun Celebration. She had been looking forward to it since the last one. She loved the pomp and circumstance of the Royal Court ever since she first saw Princess Celestia raise the sun when she was just a filly. While she was just exploding with excitement, a knock broke her out of her daydreams.

“Twiley? Princess Celestia wants to speak with you.”

Twilight opened the door with her magic and her brother walked in. He was garbed in his usual red coat and had one of those new weapons that had been cropping up since the discovery of magical technology. Those guns.

Twilight turned cold instantly. She was against having such weapons in polite society, it was just more fitting to have such technology in the borderlands where the colonization of ponies had just begun. The boom towns where lawlessness and disorder abounded.

“What did she want of me? I was getting ready for tonight’s party.”

“She decided on your thesis topic for study.”

“Really? But I just came up with a thesis! Don’t tell me she rejected my study on alicornication?”

Shining Armor grinned a little at that. He could never see his little sister with wings. “She said that the topic was silly and if you created a way to make everypony an alicorn, it would be completely ridiculous.”

Twilight was speechless. When she tried to speak; no words came out. There was just one thought in her mind: find Celestia.


Celestia was having a great day in her Day Court. Well, as great a day as possible when you raise the sun and have a crazy family that never seems to get along with each other without your help. If on cue, the doors opened with her husband, Discord, and Luna bickering about some disagreement about something or another.

“Now Luna, you know that Celestia and I love each other very much or else we wouldn't have a kid and be married for Faust knows how long. If you have issues with us please don’t turn into Nightmare Moon again, I still remember the last time. Mainly because that was our wedding night and Celly had to spend our honeymoon calming you down by explaining what marriage means...”

“Don’t make me laugh. Discord you know why I don’t like you. You tried to kill me when you first saw Nightmare Moon.”

“How was I to know you turn into that every month or so? I thought you were going to rip my face off with your teeth.”

“Oh you little...”

Celestia finally had enough with her family’s bickering. “Ahem.Can you please find another place to continue your conversation. I am trying to conduct my court here.”

Discord and Luna both looked around them and realized where they were. They turned to leave when an angry purple unicorn galloped into the hall.

“Princess! Why did you give me a new thesis?” Twilight panted.

Celestia sighed and calmly answered, “Because I believe you are ready to figure out the meaning of friendship that you are woefully lacking. You do realize that the world does not revolve around Canterlot and as my personal student you can learn much about the world when being a productive member of society.”

“But what does that mean?”

Celestia smiled. “That means my dear student that I feel that its time to send you to Appleloosa. I've heard from Discord himself that the innovations on combining steam technology with magic is progressing rapidly and I need a representative for the work. You might even find it fun.”

“WHAT?”


The Next Day

The royal carriage landed in the middle of Appleloosa. Twilight grumbled and acknowledged the two Royal Guards that had flew her all the way here and walked off with Spike, her assistant following her.

“Twilight, this can’t be all that bad. Think of all the new ponies you’ll meet.”

“I know that, but I want to be back where I was the most well known unicorn in Canterlot. Being Princess Celestia’s personal student was a great experience. Graduating with honors from her School for Gifted Unicorns and being in my brother’s wedding were both in Canterlot. Even though those Changelings did almost ruin the wedding...”

She continued walking until she bumped into a pink mare with a stetson hat on her head.

Twilight tried all her friendship tricks she knew, which weren’t many at all. “Hello. I’m new in town. Can you direct me to the nearest town gathering place?”

“Uh, it’s that way miss,” The pink pony pointed at the nearby saloon. “Sorry but I got to get back to rock farming.”

The mare galloped as fast as she could away from Twilight, as if she had other pressing business to attend to.

“Well that seemed suspicious...”

She heard a large commotion coming from the bar that was down the street and began to head there. As she came closer to the establishment she heard more of an argument coming from inside.

“AJ, you need to hide me. Remember that shipment that I said was “so awesome”? Well maybe there was a little part of the deal that wasn’t so legal.”

“Rainbow what did you do?”

“I, uh, sold my cargo to the highest bidder. Which so happened to be the zebras.”

As Twilight entered she saw the anger on the orange mare’s face. “That was my brother’s new prototype for a bomb. You sold it to those creatures?”

“I-”

Twilight tried to diffuse the situation as much as possible. “Hello, you two. Have you two seen the mayor of this town, I’m new and I need to get a job.”

“Oh, really. Well we don’t really have a mayor. Don’t need one. The Apple Family just runs the daily business of Appleloosa. Now, Miss-”

“Twilight Sparkle”

“Miss Sparkle, we do have one job opening.”

“What?” Twilight was dreading whatever job that orange mare would give her.

“Town sheriff.”

The blue pegasus that Twilight still hadn’t spoken to, began to walk slowly away.

“Now Rainbow, where are you going? You know exactly where that prison is. Show it to her.” AJ grinned.


Twilight attempted to talk to this Rainbow that was showing her around but their conversation was short and to the point. It went something like this:

“So...know any ponies that I should know?”

“Well, I know some ponies...

“Who exactly?”

“Well there’s me of course, and then Applejack...”

Twilight nodded, remembering that orange mare.

“And the Pies, Inkie, Blinkie, Pinkie, Clyde, and Sue. They’re our town’s chief exporter of rocks. I see Pinkie on a regular basis.”

Sounds like that pink mare I saw earlier. I might want to see what they do one of these days.

“Then there is Rarity, part owner of the bar you just visited.”

“Where did she come from?”

Rainbow Dash sighed. “Nopony really knows, her and her sister Sweetie Belle showed up one day. There were rumors that she tried Canterlot for a while and I did ask her but its a mystery.”

“Anypony else I want to check out?”

“There’s one more,” Twilight didn’t notice but Rainbow began to blush just a little bit. “Fluttershy, the town’s inventor. She is kinda reclusive though.She lives in the old fort. We no longer use it except in emergencies. She kinda likes being left alone.”

“Well thank you, Rainbow...”

“Dash.” the cyan mare offered.

“Well, Rainbow Dash, I hope we’ll learn to respect each other. Remember to stay on my good side cause I am the law in this town.” Twilight smiled.

“Yeah, uh, gotta go. Bye!” Rainbow dashed away from Twilight as quickly as she could.


“Dear Princess Celestia,

My first day went well . I met some ponies that might be good, but I’ll have to continue watching them. I believe there is something different to this town. Everypony seems to treat me too nicely. I am going to meet some more ponies in the coming days to see how they are. I guess I have a new job as well. I am now the sheriff of this little town. As if anything bad could happen here, I’ll probably go crazy with the waiting around.

Your Student,

Twilight Sparkle”

Master of Puppets

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Twilight stared at the landscape surrounding her She knew of the bar. After spending a day or so in the town she realized how rambunctious its patrons could become. She hadn't yet needed to break up any fights yet because of Applejack’s strength. Even when intoxicated, she could control any mob with it.

Nearby the tavern was the airship port. The constant roar of the engines kept her awake at odd hours. Yet Twilight continually saw Rainbow sneak out of the airport like a thief. Note to myself- do a background check on these ponies just to be safe.

Outside the town there were two structures she wanted to look at today: the rock farm and the old fort.


Big Rock Candy Mountain Farm

Twilight trotted to the farm stopping at the sign.

“Why does that sign look so tacky?”

The sign in question said “Big Rock Farm” and in pink paint said “Candy Mountain.”

“What do ya find wrong with this here sign. stranger?” a brown stallion walked towards Twilight.

“Hello, sir. I’m just showing my face around here because I’m the new sheriff.”

“Oh you must be the new pony my daughter was talking about. She hasn’t stopped talking about you.” he cocked an eyebrow. “She seems to like you,”

“What? How do you know?”

The stallion chuckled. “I know my daughter. This happens with all her crushes. If you like her too, you better tell her,” the stallion’s voice grew quiet. “because if you break my daughter’s heart...I will hunt you down and lecture you to death.”

The tension was cut by the pink mare Twilight had seen the day before pulling a cart full of rocks.

“HIya there. What’s with your expression? Its like you saw a ghost.” Pinkie Pie asked.

“Nothing...nothing at all. Where are you going anyway with that?”

“Oh this here cart? Fluttershy said she needed some materials for something she’s making. Only she didn’t say what it was. Well, I guess I got to go, see you later Sheriff Sparkle.” Pinkie winked.

“Can I come with you?” Twilight glanced over towards Pinkie’s father, gulping as she did so.

“OF COURSE YOU CAN! I mean, uh, no problem. I don’t mind at all.” The pink mare controlled her emotions as best as she could on the outside. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.

“Great. Let’s go then!”


“So Pinkie, I’ve never heard of earth ponies doing rock farming. I thought that since unicorns have gem finding spells, ponies like you would go out of business.”

“Silly Twilight. my family has been doing this for generations. It just comes naturally to us like a fish drawn to water. You unicorns have your magic, but all ponies have magic.”

“All ponies? I thought that that was just a myth.” Twilight had heard of such a thing, but in her infinite wisdom she thought it was a load of crock.

“Yes Twilight. Pegasi have mainly weather magic and us earth ponies have geomancy. Not to mention all the variants those powers involve. Necromancy still is known around these here parts. Alchemy, and its variants are an art in itself.” Pinkie Pie continued sprouting out powers that pegasi and earth ponies had until they finally got to the front door of this “Fluttershy” everyone was talking about.

The sign itself almost made Twilight turn around.

Any Trespassers will be dealt with on sight. And unless I called for you, or I know you personally, leave these premises at once.

“Don’t worry Twilight, that’s just up for show except for those instances where those “Elder God cults” come around every once in awhile. I remember the last time that happened, she blasted them to their kingdom come. It was funny.”

“Whatever you say.” Twilight hoped Pinkie was right. Is everypony in this town insane?


The two ponies gingerly stepped over the scraps of metal on the floor and Twilight noticed multiple drawings of animals in this place. Models of them made with metal creeped her out. Princess Celestia had taught her the sanctity of Creation and this seemed like a perversion of that belief. She heard clanking coming down the passage and saw a yellow pegasus covered in oil and grease

“Fluttershy! I have the minerals you wanted.” Pinkie Pie huffed.

Fluttershy jumped at the unexpected noise. “Pinkie! What did I tell you about spooking me like that? If I was holding something explosive at the moment, I would have gone boom!” Fluttershy explained as nicely as she could.

Pinkie kicked a hoof. “I know but I wanted to surprise you a teensy bit.”

“Oh Pinkie how could I stay angry at you?” Fluttershy hugged her friend. Twilight noticed that when the two were standing close to each other, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie looked like sisters.

“Sorry to break this touching moment but I’m the new sheriff in town. Just wanted to make your acquaintance.” Twilight put her hoof toward her new “friend” and waited.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Fluttershy, the town’s mechanic. They ask for my help whenever we’re attacked by buffalo or those changelings that were flung out from Canterlot. And you are?”

Don’t say your name. Don’t say your name. How did we know where the Changelings went. It was for the best of the nation! “Twilight Sparkle.”

Fluttershy’s mood darkened quickly. “Oh I now know who you are! Your that unicorn that Princess Celestia has in Canterlot. I thought you looked familiar. I remember the last time you came here on one of your “royal duties.” I tried to show you my creations but you said they were unnatural and ugly things! Do you know how hard it is to hear that coming from the royal student?” Fluttershy had grabbed onto Twilight and was shaking her in anger.

Twilight held her at bay with her magic. “I’m sorry! I don’t even remember who you are.”

“Maybe this will remind you.” Twilight was thereby bucked in the face by Fluttershy.


“She’s...waking”

Twilight’s eyes snapped open. She looked around and saw that she was still in the fort.

“Hey, Twilight. Fluttershy says that she’s sorry for punching you. I should have told you that she has some anger issues.” Pinkie Pie chuckled a bit.

“Understatement of the century.”

“Don’t worry Twilight. She said she wants to be friends. Just give her time.”

“You know what I want right now? Alcohol. Pinkie, want to go to the bar?”

Pinkie grinned. “I’d love to.”


Hours Later

Twilight was out of it.

“Hey, Pinks...who’s that over there?” Twilight slurred while waving her arm towards a pony she didn’t know.

“Oh her? That’s Rarity, the co-owner of this bar. She’s pretty good.” Pinkie was sober because she was a True Earth Pony and they didn’t drink alcohol. She just liked the party atmosphere.

Applejack was performing with her house band, the Apple Cores, and she was providing the music on this night.

“That’s the pony Rainbow was talking about.” She noticed the white mare walking towards her.

“Oh my darling. You look terrible. What happened?”

Twilight thought long and hard. “Let’s see. Princess Celestia told me to get a job and I’m the new sheriff in this crazy town. Oh yeah, I was punched out by your town’s mechanic. Now I just want to go back to Canterlot.”

“Canterlot, you say. I tried to be a designer there, but it wasn’t meant to be. But now I have a decent life here in Appleloosa and thanks to AJ, I have money saved up to send my sister to school.”

“That sounds nice. Sorry but I kinda have to go now. You know...all that law stuff.”

“Well nice speaking to you as well.” Rarity helped Pinkie with carrying Twilight to the Sheriff’s Quarters.

Twilight didn’t remember what happened next but she sent a letter to Celestia.

“Celly-

This is your student I like it here. I wish you were here so I could make out with you. Don’t tell Discord, he creeps me out. Just come over and we’ll have fun.

Oh and Spike says that I should ask you about Rainbow Dash, I don’t know why. Must be important.

-Twilight

P.S. I enclosed pictures.


Dear Twilight,

I read your letter and please never drink alcohol again. I had to burn the images that you sent me because I have never and will never think about you in that way. Do I have to send Natura to help you get a special somepony? Because I will, so help me I will. She says hi and that it might be a good idea for us to visit you in Appleloosa. See you in two weeks. Discord says that he hopes for a good dose of chaos.

Oh here’s the information you wanted.


In a Secret Base near Appleloosa

“The tyranny of the Equestrian nobility is at an end. My compatriots, it is time to say no more to rulers that don’t listen to us. Now with the technology given to us by providence and wisdom we can secede from this here nation and found a republic of equals. Equality is our ideal. We of the Republic of the Southern Frontier.” A brown earth pony with an hourglass cutie mark oozed charisma and the gathered crowd cheered. The clanking of machines droned out the cheers as he walked off.

“Equestria shall be ruled by me.”

Little Talks

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Twilight was ready to talk to Rainbow about Fluttershy. She also had another thing she wanted to talk to her about the other information Princess Celestia sent her.


A Few Days Ago

Twilight was nursing a hangover that now was the bane of her existence. Celestia know thought that Twilight needed to get a special somepony especially after what Twilight had sent her. The purple unicorn still wondered if she did have feelings for the ruler of Equestria. She dismissed it at once because of the sheer craziness of that idea. She stared once again at the sheet of paper in front of her.

“Search for the sky pirate Rainbowmane. Last seen around Appleloosa. The mare’s most defining feature is her mane. It is the shades of the rainbow. Genetic information is that the pigment denotes a branch of the family of the past hero Commander Hurricane. The probability that a mane color like that happens outside of familial lines is one in a billion.

Twilight-

As you can see I talked to my Guards and we believe that your friend is a pirate. Rainbowmane’s list of accomplishments is vast. She has disrupted trade between Appleloosa and Canterlot for a few years, traded state secrets to Equestria’s enemies, and caused quite a bit of trouble with the law since she was a foal. Use caution.”

Princess Celestia

Twilight laughed. Since she sent the letter she hadn’t seen Dash do anything threatening or illegal. She slept all the time and was an overall decent pony with a loyal streak a mile wide. She had to talk to Dash about this.


The Shipyard

Twilight knocked on the hatch of Rainbow’s ship, The Prism, and the hatch swooshed open. “Hey Twilight, what’s up?” Rainbow looked around shiftily.

“We need to talk. I wanted to learn more about you and I sent your name into the Guard records and this came up,” Twilight held up the paper. “oh and have you heard? Fluttershy punched me.”

“Can we talk about this later? I have company and I-”

“Dash? Who are you talking to?” Twilight realized that she knew that voice. She pushed Dash out of the way.

“YOU!” Fluttershy glanced up when she saw Twilight and smiled.

“How are you?” She asked with a meek little grin.

“Dash. Tell. Me. Exactly. How. You Know. Fluttershy. From the beginning.”

Dash looked back and forth between the two mares in her house. “Okay I guess.”


“It all started when I was just a small filly living in New Cloudsdale. This was around the time that machines started popping up and the Wonderbolts became a thing of the past. The new thing was airships and boy did I love them, my dad and I started going to all these shows and I knew that when I grew up I wanted to have my own airship. So I joined the nearest flight camp.”

Fluttershy piped up. “This is where I come in.”

The Past

Fluttershy was trying to keep away from all the bullies who teased her for being different. It wasn’t her fault she liked building things instead of flying. She hid inside the closest ship that she could because she knew they wouldn’t find her there. Just when she was about to get comfortable, a voice scared her half to death.

“This is so cool. I can’t wait to fly this thing.”

Fluttershy peeked over the boxes to see that the pegasus had a rainbow mane and was close to her age. She also didn’t have a cutie mark. which Fluttershy found to be okay since she didn’t have one either.

“Well I don’t see anypony else around. I’m gonna see how fast this baby can go.” And with that, the blue pegasus started hitting every button on the console. Fluttershy knew that was completely wrong since she knew a bit on how these ships worked. She was going to show the other filly how to fly this properly until the engine blasted them off into Equestria’s blue sky.

“This is just so awesome. I can’t wait to tell my family about this.”

Fluttershy crawled to the blue pegasus and said, “My name’s Fluttershy. And, um, the strain you are putting on the ship will cause extreme altitude loss in about fifteen seconds.”

The blue pegasus jumped in surprise. “Woah, didn’t think somepony else was here. My name’s Rainbow Dash, and I want to be the greatest airship captain in Equestria. And what was that about the airship?”

“I-” The airship began to nosedive strait towards the ground.

We are so dead.

Fluttershy jumped into action. “Rainbow Dash, there are switches that control the flow of magic in this airship. Pull those and the engines should right themselves and then you can straighten out the issues with falling to our deaths.”

“How do you know that?” Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow.

“Well, I plan on building machines that make everypony’s lives better so I do have to have an idea how these things work.”

“Okay then.” Rainbow Dash did the necessary actions that Fluttershy had outlined and the airship evened out, but not before it crashed into the Rainbow Falls.

The two fillies looked out of the ship and, besides being a little worse for the wear, were okay.

Rainbow Dash was ecstatic. “Woohoo! Did you see how awesome we were? That was so cool. And how you just were like ‘I know what to do’ and blam we were flying and falling and I have so much adrenaline right now.” Fluttershy was shocked when Rainbow Dash surprised her by kissing her.

Fluttershy blushed heavily while Dash continued speaking. “Now Fluttershy, this is going to be the start of a great friendship.”

Neither noticed the new cutie mark Rainbow Dash had of a airship billowing a plume of rainbow colored smoke.


A Few Years Later

Rainbow Dash was excited for Fluttershy. She had finally gotten her cutie mark after building a robotic bird that sang a familiar tune and she had been running all over the airship that they lived in for an hour.

“Calm down Fluttershy.” Rainbow Dash chuckled a bit. Seeing Fluttershy like this was a breath of fresh air especially after that Iron Will character had given her “assertiveness” training and she had developed a nasty anger management issue that kept most of the ponies away from her fearing her wrath. Which was usually unfounded.

“But Rainbow...I am just so happy that I finally got my cutie mark.” Said cutie mark was of thre gears with wings.

“I know but we have to get going to Appleloosa. The next shipment of Princess Celestia’s gold reserves is heading towards the city and I want to pick it up.” Rainbow Dash grinned.


“Stop the story.”

Dash looked straight at Twilight. “What?”

“So you are Rainbowmane!” Twilight said angrily.

“Uh yeah. You just figured it out now. How many pegasi do you know of with my color of hair? I only know of my family that has this.”

Fluttershy piped up. “I came up with the name.”

“Twilight, I know that you probably don’t like this, but it was one of the few ways we survived out here. The frontier is not Canterlot. And even “the jewel of Equestria” is flawed. How many poor ponies have you seen in Canterlot? Probably none. I've dealt with the lowest of the low and the highest of the high in my profession and I have to say that you aristocrats live a lie. You think everything is going to be fine when actually there are hints of rebellion in the poor.” Rainbow Dash spoke with vigor.

“But...”

“And what of your ideas of harmony in these times of machines? You only see the good side of the Equestrian Revolution: more things for you to buy, more prosperity. While you sit on high moral ground, I have tried to spread the wealth a little better so you don’t have to see your ideals of peace and harmony get dragged through the filth that is reality.” Rainbow Dash sighed.

Twilight had no answer. She was conflicted: on one hand, Dash was a pirate, on the other she seemed to be a good pony.

“I’m going to have to think about this. See you later, Fluttershy.”

“See you too.”


“Dear Princess Celestia,

I talked to Rainbow Dash and she did say that her family had that special mane. But after talking to her, I found out something about my, dare I say it, friend. You might think that a person is a bad person, but maybe if you get to know them maybe they aren’t half bad to hang around. I believe that Rainbow Dash had a good reason for her actions and as such i believe that she has changed. If she has ever been Rainbowmane, she did it for reasons that are not so cut and dried than her just being a bad pony.

Twilight Sparkle"


Canterlot Castle

“Natura are you ready to visit Appleloosa yet?”

An alicorn that looked very similar to Celestia trotted on out of her chambers. “Yes, dad.”

Discord grinned at his daughter. “Remember that this is a vacation that we all wanted to go on. Plus messing with Twilight is going to be fantastic.”

Celestia walked in. “Yes Discord, I will allow for that to happen. But remember everypony the real reason for our visit. We definitely need to get Twilight a special somepony.”

(I Can't Help) Falling In Love With You

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Twilight was having a great day. There was nothing in this town that had tried to kill her outright and she even was being treated well by the townsfolk. She wondered what sort of things might happen today. As she thought this, a knock was heard at her door. She opened the door with her magic and quickly closed it. The Royal Family (minus Luna, who was in Canterlot) was standing right outside her door.

“Oh horsefeathers! I thought Celestia was joking about coming here.”


“Now Pinkie, Granny Pie always said to me that if you liked somepony you needed to corral them and keep them locked in your house at all times. Then she took her own advice too literally and locked herself in a burning building. But that doesn't mean its not good advice. You go get that Sparkle mare and find a way for you two to have children. Especially after your two sisters ran to ‘civilization’” Sue Pie drawled while thinking her two strange daughters.

One was a cellist and the other was a photographer of some renown. But it still hurt that they hadn't seen the light of rock farming as laid down by the True Earth Ponies founder, Rock Steady.

“Yes, mother.”

“Don’t you ‘yes mom’ me young lady! I forbid you to come back home until you consummate your engagement vows the True Earth Pony way!”

“But mom that involves-” Pinkie Pie whined.

“I know what it involves! Don’t question our religion...you know where all those ponies go.”

Pinkie looked around in fear. “They go to Tartarus?”

“Yes. That is where all those questioners will go one day.” Sue Pie looked solemnly into the distance, surveying all of the rock farm.


Pinkie walked towards the bar. For she knew one thing. If she was going to ask Twilight out she knew what she had to do.

“Hey there Pinkie, what can I do you for?” Applejack was surprised at the pink mare’s sudden appearance in her establishment.

“What is the strongest alcoholic beverage you have?” Pinkie said with a determined look on her face. Everypony in the bar stopped what they were doing and quickly hoofed it out of a perceived war zone.

“Uh, follow me.” Applejack prayed to Faust that Pinkie wasn't going to destroy the town in a drunken rampage.

Pinkie didn't leave the bar until a few hours later. By that time, she had found a way to drink all the alcohol in the bar in her valiant quest to get with Twilight.


“Have you seen any ponies in this town that have caught your eye?” Celestia was getting tired of Twilight’s hospitality towards her family.

“Nope. There’s nopony here that I like.” Twilight attempted to lie through her teeth.

“That’s a complete lie. Mother, she did one of her eye twitches. Knowing Twilight’s past attempts at lying, that is a signal. Now Twilight tell little old me who you actually like.” Natura smiled the all-knowing smile gained from years of practice that could break the hardest of liars.

Twilight used her skills of occlumency to keep Natura’s mental jab away from her thoughts.

“Darn it. That usually works. Daddy, bring out the dolls.” Discord chuckled a little. Now it was getting to the fun part.

“Now Twilight, I used your descriptions of your friends to sew little dolls.” Natura waved a hoof over the collection of five dolls. “Since you didn't start telling me your special somepony it gets a little more violent.”

Celestia glanced at Discord. “Discord, I did not train her to be somepony like this.” Discord whistled innocently.

Twilight finally broke down. “I might like somepony...they are-”

A persistent knocking came from the door. “Twilight. It’s Applejack. We have a definite problem on our hands.”

Twilight stomped to the door and threw it open ready to yell at Applejack but couldn't get out any words out once she saw the town. It looked like a ghost town. Everypony was hiding from the pink mare drunkenly walking towards Twilight’s humble home. A poofy haired version of her. And she was singing.

“Twilight I’m sorry but the last thing she said was that she was going to find you cause her mom told her to get a special somepony.”

Discord began laughing at Twilight’s predicament.

“Great I thought my day couldn’t any worse.” Twilight grumbled.


Appleloosa Town Square- High Noon

Pinkie Pie was so happy to see Twilight. Finally she could tell her how she felt.

Twilight was ready to get this over with. She was the sheriff after all. “I have no clue how to beat her. Any ideas?” She quickly glanced over to her side of the field. Nopony had any ideas...except for one alicorn.

“I have a plan, but I have to cast a spell on you.”

“Fine get it over with. I have no other idea how to fight that thing.” Twilight gestured over to Pinkie who bounced around the square oblivious to everypony except for Twilight.

“Ready?” Natura charged up her magic and aimed directly at Twilight. The blast hit Twilight directly in the face and temporarily made her vision blur.

“What did you do to her?” both Celestia and Discord whispered to their daughter.

“Oh just made her have the same symptoms as Pinkie right now. If she couldn’t find the path of least resistance by telling me who she had feelings for I did it the funniest way possible. Goodbye Twilight, hello Twilight’s subconscious.”

“That’s my daughter.” Discord wiped a tear from his eye.


Twilight felt fantastic. She felt like she could do anything. She was ready to say what she thought of anypony. Celestia damn the consequences.

“Why do we have Princesses anyway? Shouldn’t we have a king and queen. I mean we were attacked by Queen Chrysalis and every other nation has a king or queen, King Sombra being one of them, Is Celestia hiding that she has parents somewhere?”

Celestia nudged her daughter. “Maybe guide the conversation. She could be at this for hours.”

“Uh, right. Twilight who do you want for a special somepony?”

Twilight thought about this for a while. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash are taken, Applejack and Rarity seem to have something going on but I'm not sure...the most logical is that I like Pinkie Pie. Like, hmm what a strange word. But I can finally say it to myself, my other friends aren't as special to me. She makes my day not as boring. I guess...

She finally blurted out the first pony she thought of. “Pinkie.”

Everyone in the square stopped to digest the information Twilight had just said. Pinkie most of all.

“Time for all ponies to think clearly, can’t have things repeating themselves can we?” Natura laughed at the memory of Cadance and Shining Armor’s first meeting. She still couldn't believe that the marriage had even worked. She did learn a little bit too much information about the weird things those two liked to do in the bedroom.

Twilight’s mind cleared but she wasn't fast enough to dodge the pink blur that blindsided her and grabbed her into the tightest hug Twilight had ever felt. “Uh, Pinkie. Can you please let go of me a little bit?” Twilight wheezed while attempting to extricate herself.

“I’m just so happy. I never thought you would like me and...” Pinkie began crying tears of joy.

“Well isn't this great you two,” Celestia walked up to the new couple. “seem to be enjoying your new love that has grown between you and I give you my blessing to be married as soon as possible.”

Twilight’s eye twitched in desperation. “Princess this seems way too sudden. Can’t you give us time on the wedding plans? I mean we just got to express our feelings.”

Celestia’s eye twinkled in glee. “Oh I guess there might be one way to slow it a little bit.” She leaned towards Twilight and whispered into her ear.

“Really? That seems easy.”

“Then I extend it towards all your friends. Tell all five of your friends that I want them to send me reports on their escapades in this town. I have been running out of things to read and Luna would probably like to hear about this town.”

“Thank you Princess.” Twilight’s mind was attempting to believe that Celestia would let her off this easily.

“Ready for departure everyone? I believe that Luna would like to hear about this little outing of ours.”

Discord rolled his eyes. “And what would that mare know about taking a vacation? She never leaves the castle. I wonder what she does on her free time? I bet she has a harem of lovers, one of those old fashioned ones.” Discord nudged his wife.

“Discord, you know that whatever my sister does on her free time is her business alone.” Celestia glared at her husband.

“What? Just wondering.”


Sheriff’s Quarters

Twilight finally felt relaxed. She was ready to curl up with the Canterbury Tales and read some of the tales within, but she was interrupted by her guest.

“Yes Pinkie?”

“I can’t go home yet.”

“Why can't you? As you can see I’m kind of going to be reading a book.”

Pinkie quietly muttered to herself until finally getting the courage to speak. “Its part of my religion.”

Twilight thought deeply about all the religions she had heard about. The cults on the Elder Gods, the Church of Equestria, druids, True Earth Ponies...

“True Earth Ponies, right?”

Pinkie shook her head in agreement.

“What do we need to do again? I haven’t studied the religion in years.” Twilight sighed.

“Well we just need to give each other a gift which shows that we are engaged.”

Twilight’s ears perked up. “That’s it?”

Pinkie giggled. “Silly Twilight. That’s just the engagement. Then we have to swear that we will love each other until we die of old age. And maybe get some foals at some very distant point.”

Twilight then was surprised when Pinkie Pie pulled out of her saddlebags the largest ruby she had ever seen outside of Canterlot.

“Pinkie is that for me?” Twilight said with some apprehension.

“Yep, I begged my parents for it and they finally gave it to me.” Pinkie pushed it closer to Twilight. “Now what do you have for me?” Pinkie stared at Twilight.

“Uh.” Twilight looked around the library. What would be good. No. No. No. Ah here we go!

She levitated a cookbook out of the mess, “Here you go Pinkie!”

Baking and You. A Guide to Culinary Delights that Any Customer Will Love by Madame La Farine. Ooh, Twilight that so fancy...but I don't know how to make some of the things in this book. I mean my baking ability is limited to cakes, cupcakes, and pies.”

“Don’t worry Pinkie. I know you’ll learn quickly.” Twilight smiled.

“Thanks Twilight. See you tomorrow.” Pinkie kissed Twilight before she left.

Twilight felt happy.


Outside Appleloosa

The ground shook as the first magebot hit the ground. It continued to shake as a veritable army of machines fell from the sky. The magebots waited for instructions from their creator. They would spread the influence of The Republic of the Southern Frontier starting with this little town. There were no ponies that could stop them. Its programming was absolute: resistance was futile and the prime directive was conquest.

The unchanging stars gazed down upon Appleloosa’s newest inhabitants.

Behold the Machine

View Online

Fluttershy’s day was in full swing. She had wrote down her prototype for mechanical wings and was ready to take a break when Angel, her one animal friend, ran into her work space.

“Yes Angel?”

Angel gestured outside. His frantic movements showed that it was more important than when he just wanted food. There were very few things that made him act like this.

“What is it?” Fluttershy asked as sweetly as possible.

Angel smacked his face. He always hated using charades for such important matters and so he did the next thing that came to him. He dragged her out the fort.

“Now Angel what’s so important-” She stopped speaking after she saw the mass of ponies surrounding her.

“Rabble, rabble,rabble”

“Uh, if everypony can tell me why you are outside my house, I’d gladly appreciate it.”

Then the yelling began.

“My garden is ruined.”

‘I saw a large machine destroy my house.”

“The railroad tracks were ripped out from the ground.”

Fluttershy was worried. From continued exposure to the angry ponies she deduced that it definitely wasn’t one of her creations running rampant. It was too large and had a more human-like appearance. Or as close to it as possible. Humans were a myth of the First Age and as such were looked at with extreme skepticism.

Fluttershy stood determined. “Okay everypony! I’ll, ah, no, get ready to find this robot and override its program.”

Everypony stared back with a blank look on their faces.

Fluttershy facehoofed. “I’ll turn it off.”

A chorus of understanding noises washed over the ponies before they walked back to the town.

Five Minutes Later

“Oh Angel! I don’t know if I can do this. I have an idea where a robot could hide. It couldn’t stay too close to the town or else the ponies would find out quickly about it. It has to be in the MacIntosh Hills to the South.” Fluttershy was terrified.

The MacIntosh Hills were right next to the newly reformed Changeling Hive.The South was a uncivilized place that sane ponies avoided like the cutie pox.

“The robot has to come from somewhere, right? The Changelings can’t have created a robot with what- Angel...you aren’t listening to me are you?”

Angel shook his head.

“What do you think I should do?”

Angel began gesturing wildly. “I think you should be okay for once. Have you even looked in your weapon cache anytime recently? Our house is so difficult to get inside that when I tried to hop out of here to prank a few people, my tail was set on fire. That didn’t grow back for three weeks...”

Fluttershy was totally oblivious to her pet’s continued angry rant. “Oh thank you Angel! I should go get Rainbow and ask her for help! Who’s a good rabbit? You are! Oh and before I forget, I should grab the weapons in case of an emergency. Bye, Angel.” Fluttershy ran off towards her weapon stash.

Angel was livid. “Did you hear anything I just said? You just repeated it all. Okay this is it. I am going to find some other thing to do. Something like praying to a Rabbit God or something. My existence totally needs some higher power to get me through these charades from Tartarus.”

And so Angel hopped away on the quest for life, liberty, and the pursuit of carrots.


Rainbow felt somepony bouncing on her.

“Wha-” Rainbow tried to open her eyes but it was a slow process because of her late night antics with a certain small orange pegasus.

“Heya Rainbow!”

Scootaloo stared happily down at her adoptive big sister.

“Hey Scoots. Didn’t I tell you to not wake me up? I know that you like hanging out with me and all but I do need to sleep sometime...”

Scootaloo looked glumly down at the floor of the airship. “But...Fluttershy asked me nicely to wake you up.”

Rainbow felt terrible. “Sorry, kid. So, uh, I think you should go have fun.” Rainbow looked around and found a small bag of bits. She tossed it to her adoptive sister. “Go have fun. Knowing Fluttershy I think she wouldn’t wake me up for no reason.”

Dash pushed Scootaloo out the door and proceeded to greet her friend.

“Hey Flutter-” She was dumbfounded. Her kind friend had enough weapons to make an army jealous.

“Hi Rainbow” Fluttershy smiled sweetly.


MacIntosh Hills

“And that is why you saw me with all the weapons” Fluttershy poked Dash with a hoof.

“So...where is the robot anyway?”

Fluttershy knocked on a rock that they were next to. “It’s right here.”

“What that thing? It looks like a rock.”

Fluttershy giggled. “That’s the beauty of robotics. Ponies can build them in any shape they want with a bit of hard work. Why do you think my gear cutie mark has wings? Its just another view on this idea of forms. Functions are important...almost as important as our cutie marks.”

“Oh, okay. So how do we wake it up?”

“Easy. Most robots have a wake up protocol. Um, if I remember correctly...it goes something like ‘Domo Arigato, Mr.Roboto.’ If it wakes up I’ll know who made it. It’s just a hunch though...”

Wáke͟ p̷ŗot͝oc͟ǫl͟ ͞àc̵cepted. ̕
M͞y͞ pu͢r͜p̢ośe ̀i̴s ͟to ̀b͡rin̕g po͠ni͜ès͠
t͠ò ͜t̵h̴e R͠ep͘ubli͟ć ͘òf ͞t͡h͝e̷ S͘outh͢eŗn̶ ̧
F͢r̕o̢ntie̶r.̡ W̴h͡o ̵w͏oḱe̶ mé u͞p?̸

“Execute Protocol 00-1234”

W̡h͘aţ Acces҉s̶ ͝Col̀or do ỳo͘u ̕h͜a̢v̀e̡?̧

“Black-1b”

Sorry̡ Mist͝ŗe͏ss,͠ ̕m̨y͜ v̕i̵su͢àl҉ ̡r̛e͡cept̡o͢r͏s̨
̢d͡i̵d̵n't͏ ŗeçog͡n̡izȩ ́yo̡u. ̀Begi҉n̸nin̕g sh͏ut-
do̷wn ́in 3,2,̶1̴.

“Rainbow Dash, lets fly go back to Appleloosa now.”

“But what about the-”

Fluttershy glared at Dash. “We are going back right now. I’ll get the robot later.”

Dash knew that when Fluttershy glared it was serious business. She almost never got angry without reason. And she never got angry at her. She could count with her hooves how many times the yellow mare had glared at her. It must have been from before. Her friend never talked about her past for reasons only known to the shy mare.

“Okay then.”

The flight back was silent except for the song echoing in the distance.

D̸ai͜s̸y͢,̨ ͝d҉aisy g͞ive me yo̵ur answ̶er͘ ͜ḑo͘.
I͝'m̶ h̕a̶l͝f̕-͠c҉r̸a҉z̨y ͝al͏l̸ fo̶r ͜the͠ ͜l͡o͠vè ̧of ̛y̢ou̴.
It ̕wo̷n̶'͠t̷ ͝be ̢a̴ s̶t͜y͝l͜i̡sh̷ ͢márr̨i͝ag͏e,
I ̢c͟an̡'̶t̶ ͏affo͡rd a̷ ̧c͞a̸rriaģe͘.
͠Bu̵t̶ ͜y̕ou'l͟l̸ looḱ s͞wee̵t̸ o̶ņ ̀a b͟i͏c̷ycle͝
̨B̸ui̛lt..͟.for...͠t̀w̸o..̕.̛

Fluttershy flew with a new determination. “So you are back. What’s your plan for Equestria now...Doctor Whooves, or should I say...dad.”


Secret Lab

Doctor Whooves grinned evilly as he got his greatest chemical creation out of the container.

“Yes, this is magnificent. I never thought I would see the day where poison joke could be purified into its most perfect form. Poison joke doesn’t cut it anymore. What’s a good name for this- oh I got it! I call it morbid joke. I have tested it on test subjects of dubious merit and through diligent study I have found out that it causes your heart’s desire to be amplified up to its greatest extent.”

He chuckled happily. “And now we just have to try it on the final test subject...Princess Cadance. Guards, procure me this test subject and leave her suitor. We need her to be as jovial as possible in the Honeymoon Suite.”

He programmed the location of the Crystal Empire into the robot guards. He built the robots with anti-magic properties to make them impervious to meddling by those almighty unicorns. Alicorns were just a higher form of Chaos. The newest Princess embodied that fact with her Love Spells of dubious intent.

“Oh how I love my job.”


Crystal Empire

Princess Cadance and Shining Armour were calmly sitting in the thrones of the Crystal Empire. The two twitched nervously. The guards had been sent to deal with some unknown intruders that had entered the airspace. Shing had been trying to contact the guards but they were not answering.

“Shiny, what do we do? You know I’m not as good at protecting myself than the other Alicorns. I only can do so much. I only recently got my powers from Love.”

“Yes dear, I know that. I did attend your coronation.”

Boom. Boom.

The doors exploded inward. Robots poured into the Crystal Chamber.

W̴̵e̡͘͟ ̕͘͜hàv͡͝e͏̀ ̸c̵̛͜o̷̶m̷e͘ f͢or̡҉͟ ͝t̵̕h̕͡e̶ ̀P̵̸̨ŕ̷i̸͟͝n͝c̀ęsş̴.̧
̀͡C̡͠ò͜͞m͢҉ę͘ ̛w̴̧i̶t͡҉h̕͟ ̵us n͠ơ͝w ̵͝o̷r̴̀ ͘͏e͞ļ̵́se̷ w͜e̵͟ ̀w̕i̴͝l̢̨ĺ͞
͢͟h̛͜͝à͟v̶e̷͝ t̶̛o ̴́u̸s͠ȩ ̶f͡ǫ̢̡rc̴e͡͝.

The Royal Couple complied.The robots plodded toward Cadance.

O̴҉͠u͟r̷̛ ̶̢́Ć̡͜r͞e̸àt͏òr͘ ̛h̢á̷͜s͞ ̡͏͡a p͡r̵ęs͢e̢͘̕n͢t͞ ̸̧f̡́ơ̸̷r̷͝ ͡y̨o̕u̴͜͞.̧

The vial was jabbed into Cadance’s leg. She felt its effects immediately. “What is my greatest wish? I want to be a normal pony...normal...nor..no...n..”

Cadance screamed in pain because her body was regressing into what she was before her ascension. Her horn shrank until it was nonexistent and her wings fell off as the magic that created them began to fail. Shining Armor watched as his wife became an earth pony. Cadance slowly rocked back and forth on the floor as her mind tried to cope with the torturous pain that had just transpired. It brought back her memories of the Changelings.

“Please...help me.”

The robots swept her up in their arms and left the room. Shining just sat there on the floor dumbfounded. The applications of the fluid would destroy the balance of power in Equestrian politics. The existence of a potion that made immortals mortal was unheard of.

“Faust help us.”

The Crystal Empire began to burn. The fires spread until the beauty of the city was only a legend in a silly mare’s tale. Shining Armor gathered the survivors and headed out on the journey to Canterlot. The reality of their situation covered the crystal ponies like a shroud.

What King Sombra had tried to do 1000 years ago had finally happened.

Chaos and disorder was brought to the Frozen North.

Moral of the Story

View Online

Takes Place Concurrently with Chapter 5

Scootaloo walked slowly into the entertainment sector of Appleloosa. She glanced at the movie theater that was new. It had only been built a few weeks ago and the line stretched around the theater because of the newly arrived double feature of “Night of the Undead” and “Evil Zombie.” Scootaloo remembered Dash talking about the movies when she spent her money that she got from her most recent job.

Scootaloo shrugged and turned towards the bar. Applejack might have some fun story to listen to. Her ears picked up when she heard a conversation through the swinging doors of the establishment. She pushed the doors open with a hoof and saw a small yellow earth pony and a white unicorn trying to help the two ponies in the middle of the bar.

“But, sis...I wanna help y’all with the bar...I promise tha’ I ain’t gonna break anything.”

“You said that last time. And you- oof- gave some of my customers the wrong drink.” Applejack groaned, remembering the incident.

“But I didn’t know tha’ difference between vodka and water.” the small earth pony tried her best to make AJ feel guilty by attempting her best sad face but the orange mare was unamused.

“This ties back into why I said I don’t need your help until when you’re older and I know you want to be a big pony but you just have to wait for your cutie mark.”

“Awww” Applebloom cantered off into the back of the store.


“Darling, I know that our parents kind of dropped you off here and went on their merry way. But, that doesn’t mean that you can’t just do whatever you want...Miss Cheerilee told me that your magical studies have been lower than most of your other classmates...are you sure you don’t have a problem...oh my goodness, don’t let it be Magical Blight” Rarity began to pace back and forth worrying about her sister, who had completely tuned out the conversation; the white unicorn dragged Applebloom towards Scootaloo and sat down.

Scootaloo stared at her companions. Finally the two newcomers gained their voices.

“I’m Sweetie Belle.”

“I’m Applebloom.”

Scootaloo pointed at the older mares. “What was that all about?”

“The usual. We want our cutie marks but nopony wants to help us.”
Scootaloo thought long and hard on this statement. “What if we took it into our own hooves and went out on an adventure?”


One Short Lie Later

“Now y’all be careful playing. We don’t want to worry ‘bout ya.” Applejack waved the girls out of the bar and cantered back to the counter.

The three fillies ran off giggling into the sunset. Straight into the San Palomino Desert. Its flora and fauna were used to the extreme temperatures. It was also one of the few places in Equestria were the natural magic of the place caused weather to be wild and free. And the three fillies might have walked into a deathtrap if they weren’t adept at causing chaos.


“I know we shoulda brought a map!” Sweetie tiredly limped through the now dark desert. Her hooves hurt because of how long the three of them had been walking in circles.

“Well, so-oory.” Scootaloo was tired of her new friends. She liked them but they weren’t used to the work that came with outdoors fun. Applebloom was the only one that seemed to have the most fun right now.”

“Oh my gosh, this is so cool!” Applebloom poked a large rock and squeed in joy. “These rocks in the desert, I heard, hold the most ore for airships and..”

BLAH. BLAH. BLAH.

Scootaloo was almost ready to yell at her friends about being completely utterly lost. Then she heard a noise that Dash had told her about when the orange filly needed an adventurous bedtime story.

Sand sharks.

Think Scootaloo, what did Dash say about the things? She began to remember what Dash had said.


The memory Dash turned and faced Scootaloo. Her prismatic mane shone in the fake sunlight and the awesome mare opened her mouth.

After Scootaloo finally picked her jaw off of the floor, Rainbow turned to her and began a much more scary monologue. “Sand sharks are able to eat the smallest of fillies in one bite. You won’t even see them coming because when you do it will be too late...too late...too late.


Scootaloo snapped her eyes open as the rustling sounds stopped. The fin of the sand shark tore the ground and she saw the teeth that had broken the surface. Sweetie and Applebloom were screaming in fear; their voices carried through the night as the incoming pain was going to come. Scootaloo scrunched her eyes tight and prayed to the Princesses to stop the creature.

The shark did not eat them.

Scootaloo opened her eyes and was surprised to see three ponies. Rarity, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie stood against the shark which was huge. if it wasn’t in the sand it might have been thirty feet long.

“I’m surprised that one of these things still is alive.” Applejack grunted as she tightened up the lasso that she held in her mouth.

“And you guys thought my Pinkamena Sense is just something I made up for ponies to leave me alone.” Pinkie brandished a pickax and charged the sand shark.

“Yes, dear, we are going to pay attention to you more often.” Rarity levitated a few of her rocks that were surrounding her and began pelting the creature.

Scootaloo realized that these were the friends that Dash had talked about when she was tired from a long day’s work. The orange filly stood dumbfoundedly in the middle of the battle. She fainted from a mix of relief and sheer awesomeness.

“Yoo hoo? Hello, Scootaloo? Ya okay?” Scootaloo focused and saw Applebloom shaking her hoof in front of her face. “Sweetie said that you just spaced out for a few moments. Or fainted.”

“Huh?”

Scootaloo looked around at her surroundings. She noticed that they were not in the desert anymore and that she was laying down in an unknown bed. “Where am I?” Applejack walked in on Scootaloo and asked if she was okay and that she had some news from Dash.

“You’re here in the Zap Apple Bar. Ya kinda passed out after we dealt with the sand shark. I finally found Rainbow Dash and told her about it. She wants you to come back as soon as possible, though she didn’t tell me why.”

“Okay.” Scootaloo thought about how the day went. It hadn’t been a complete failure and she got some friends out of it. Plus, she finally saw some of Rainbow’s other friends for once. She liked Fluttershy, but the mare was always silent about her past and became cold whenever she innocently asked about it. But these ponies, her friends, took her with them and listened to her for once. It was a nice feeling and she didn't know how to take it. Scootaloo felt wetness run down her coat. Applebloom noticed this and had to speak up in her drawl, which had begun to grow on her.

“Ya okay, Scoots?”

“Yeah, just fine. I realized something and sorry but I have to go home,” The orange filly began to walk out of the bar but she turned one last time to tell Applebloom something that she had never shared before. “AB, if you want me on any more adventures...just ask your sister about Rainbow Dash's house...I e-enjoyed being with you and Sweetie.”

“Don’t worry, Scoots. I think we all sorta liked it. Friends?” The yellow filly held out a hoof.

Should I? I don’t know, but I think that its going to be okay.

Scootaloo decided to hoof bump her new friend. “Bump...”

“What?”

“I’m going to have to tell you about a special hoof bump one of these days.


Twilight sat in her room in the sheriff’s quarters. She had to send Pinkie away after she had came back because today had just been too much. With Rainbow’s story about Fluttershy hiding something about that magebot that had appeared. The magebot was in her custody right now and she stared at the thing. It had reacted violently when she tried using her magic on it and she had to stop using her magic because it had activated the weapons and tried to shoot her.

Then there was AJ’s story about how her sister and her friends went off on their own and found a sand shark. That was a dangerous thing to do but there was something else. Sand sharks were one of the largest things in their habitat. Besides the errant dragon in the San Palomino, there was almost nothing that made them move out of the central breeding grounds this time of year.

And Twilight looked at the last straw. The letter.


Dearest Twilight Sparkle; Discipulus Caelestia et Vicecomiti de Appleloosa

I am informing you that my sister and I have lost the mental link with Cadance. After searching for the disturbance, Shining Armor contacted us about what happened. The Crystal Ponies are relocating into Equestrian borders and Cadance wa taken by some strange constructs that reacted violently towards any magical influences. We believe that these automatons are dangerous and you should tell us anything if a creation comes near your district. Also, do not count on help from us because the madpony who created these monstrosities has some sort of weapon that reverts Alicorns like my fair sister and I into our original mortal forms. Realize that the nation of Equestria is headed towards a state that we have not seen in a millennia. Outright war towards an enemy that attacked one of us.

Principem Luna; Dictator de Sphaera Lunae


Cadance woke up. She didn’t know where she was, but she knew one thing. Somehow one way or another...somepony brought her back to her Pre-Ascension level. She hadn’t seen the world like an earth pony in what, two hundred years? Either way...it brought back recent memories of a wedding. She heard footsteps and a strange buzzing that she took as just a trick that her mind created. Her heart dropped out when she saw her new friend.

“Well, Doctor Whooves said he had a present for me. This takes all my hopes and dreams of ruining your life and makes me feel like this makes my day. Especially after you and your stallion threw me out of Canterlot.”

“Hello Chrysalis.”

Lateralus

View Online

Twilight grinned as she glanced over her blueprints for the machine that would let her peek inside that head of one ‘Pinkus Piecus.’ better known as Pinkie Pie. Though she had heard that the entire town had learned to keep their mouth shut about information of the phenomena that she had seen.

The Pinkie Sense.

***

Fluttershy stared at the machine that was sitting in Twilight’s office. Twilight had pestered her about her mechanical knowledge and, unwittingly, Fluttershy had helped her build this machine as a result. Its wires snaked around the room and made a mess of everything that was around it. Overall, Fluttershy thought it was probably one of the ugliest things that she had ever seen. And that’s why my dad said you don’t let bureaucrats near technology. They always mess everything up.

Twilight had other plans for the yellow pegasus. Through an extreme invasion of personal space, Twilight’s purple aura wrapped around Fluttershy’s body She tried to squirm out of the grip that the purple mare had on her body but she was stuck fast.

“Maybe I didn’t tell you about your other job Fluttershy...you see you're the only pony free today so I guess you’ll be the pony that helps me test what my memory machine might do...”

After a while Twilight’s spells kicked in and Fluttershy drifted off to memory lane. Not the happiest, not the saddest but the most
(truthful)

Fluttershy saw herself nuzzled up with her mother. Her mother always was the one to settle her father down after after one of his disputes with his work as a scientist. This was before the times of (hatred. fear, pain, feelings best kept inside) want.

Fluttershy remembered the drought that hit Appleloosa when she was a foal. Sure there were those few times she went to a new place. New Cloudsdale, Canterlot, even Ponyville. But it seemed from the moment she was born- Fluttershy felt stuffed in by the small town life. She always had that need to help ponies,

But it never happened. The drought took care of that. The Apple Family was hit hard and had to change business model. They went from owning just an orchard to owning most of the town and that was what set the Appleloosan Apples into land barons.Not without taking the lives of Applejack’s parents.

(Ring around the Rosie)

The worst of it was when all the grasses and food stores ran out. Then anarchy broke out between the haves and have nots began a civil war to take the food supplies for themselves. My mother, Posey tried to send a letter through some of her draconic contacts to th Princesses but it was already too late.

(A pocketful of Posies)

My mother, to stop the fighting marched right up City Hall and called out our neighbors about the violence but they tried to trample her to death when she made the mistake of getting too close to the enraged mob. I know that the hungry ate well that night and all nights until the drought ended. I still feel apprehension towards the townsponies after what they did to my body after they trampled it to near death and my husband-father brought me back to life.

(Ashes! Ashes!)

My father dragged my mother’s body back to his laboratory and didn’t tell me what happened to me mom whose cutie mark was defiled by bruises and blood from when she died. She would never talk to me again on how she would make her garden grow; her green eyes shining in delight as the morning dew reflected off the flowers. How with just tender loving care she could make the most ornery plants grow. How we would never have those bonding moments where she would teach me the “Windigo’s Sight.” My mind kept reeling off a list of things that I just could couldn’t do without my mom, Posey, and it hurt.

(And we all fall down.)

My father, who had been hooking up wires to my mom’s dead body, yanked me by a hoof and hooked me up to a similar machine.

“Dad, what are you doing?” I nervously asked since I had never seen this side of him until this moment.

“I think I know how to keep both you and your mother alive. In my university days, there was this professor that hypothesized that the personality of ponies lasts hours until they get picked up by the Night Princess in her duties...I am going to put your mother’s ind into your body, and since- by sheer coincidence you and her share enough similarities in body types...besides that you have wings that this might work.”

He yanked down on the lever and, for the first time in my life, I could hear my mother clear as day right inside my head. I was six years old, I had a still long way until that airship crash at Flight Camp (which was one of the few times I let Posey take complete control of my body. I had the knowledge, she was calm. Though she did come up with a stupid excuse as to why I knew all that technical stuff. Though I did meet Dashie...)

***

After that success, my father grew distant as he worked on his experiments I barely escaped after he tried to make me invulnerable to magic just like one of his own creations. Though he did train me how to create robots whenever I asked. After a few years of living with a father who couldn’t tell if you were his wife or his daughter...it got confusing. He finally trusted me enough to tell me that he planned to make a Southern Republic and wage war on the Princesses who never stopped the drought and killed his wife.

We- my mother and I- couldn’t take it anymore so we escaped in the middle of the night and walked by foot into Appleloosa. Nothing important happened until that robot my dad made attacked the town and I deactivated it since all the robots are attuned to the sound of my voice...

***

Fluttershy awoke with a start, punching Twilight out of reflex. “Don’t you ever do something like that to me again. I only scratched the surface of what my father did to me. I don’t even tell Dash what you just stole from me. Destroy that machine or we- neither my nice side. which is Posey, or my not so nice side, which is the actual me ever since my dad experimented on me for half my life, will ever talk to you again. Did we make ourselves clear?” Fluttershy used her Windigo Sight to make sure that Twilight would follow her rule to the letter.

The yellow pegasus stormed off towards her personal fort. Once Fluttershy left, Twilight locked all the doors, windows, and sent Spike off to play with the Crusaders as she began to dealt with post-traumatic stress disorder just from looking at Fluttershy’s (and Posey’s) memories.

That night, she destroyed the machine.

“Dear Princess Celestia,I learned that privacy is a great thing to have and that friendship is built around it. Without it, ponykind would fall apart into savage animals that would fight to the death to get ahead

P.S. Have you ever heard of a Posey near Appleloosa?”

***

“Dear Twilight,
On your question about Posey, she was one of my best friends. Well, we did have a business relationship. She was one of the Six Knights of Harmony and she helped keep Equestria safe. I hope you can weaponize up soon because we lost contact with the Crystal Empire and Cadance. Without the Knights, we can’t use the Elements of Harmony.

Celestia”

Ode To My Family

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Dash stared down at the letter that she had received today. She had completely forgot about the event. It held so many implications: the good, the bad, and the family. She knew she had to bring Scootaloo since the orange filly hadn’t seen her adoptive parents in quite a while. It wasn’t like Rainbow had found her with a note attached to her coat saying that her parents were too busy.

But that almost did happen.

With both of her parents on the payroll of Princess Celestia- it’s just what happens. (Actually she wondered why her parents hadn’t arrested her yet for piracy and smuggling. Must be a parent thing.) Her mother never did say what she did for the Princess so she made the explanation in her head a combination of a caring mother and a ninja. After that, her father being part of the Pegasi Brigade boring in comparison.

If only her mother wasn’t so embarrassing.

Now she had to tell her friends about coming as well. They, being her friends and all, must want to see her compete in the Pega 500. Well now with airships, anypony could compete but the name still stuck.

***

“Hey, Applejack, can you and Rarity spare a few days? No, I’m not smuggling anything. Just I’m participating in a race and I want you there.”

“Hey, Fluttershy, if you can get your rabbit off me I’ll tell you what's going on,”

“Mr. Pie, tell Pinkie that...oh hey Pinkie. And you’re already packed. Okay then. Pinkie Sense, right...”

“Twilight, ever wanted to see the Pega 500 and pegasus history all in New Cloudsdale.”

***

And Rainbow’s friends were dragged to see her perform in a race. But first Rainbow had to find a place to put her friends. And so with a heavy heart, she finally called her parents. Even Fluttershy hadn’t met her parents.

***

New Cloudsdale

A ringing noise echoed throughout the entire house as the female pegasus walked stealthily towards the door. Possibilities ran through her head as who it could be. Since she was part of the Celestial Knights, it could have been anypony ready to strike her down as a political message. Or even worse it could be that dragon that she had slayed a few years back come back to eat her as revenge. Or worst of all, it could be the tax collector. So she gingerly opened the door and as the beams of light shone into her eyes she saw her prismatic daughter in all her resplendent glory and the rapscallion that had stolen the hearts of both her and her husband.

“Oh my dears! You are finally home! Oh how I missed you and- I mean welcome.” The five friends were surprised. Rainbow and Scootaloo were not.

“Girls this is my mother Firefly. Where’s dad?” Slowly a stallion strode out with bags under his eyes and looked at the pile of estrogen that would enter his house and walked back inside grunting some foul words against the rulers of the land. And still the ponies stood there.

“Don’t mind Bifrost. He’s not a morning pony.”

“Mom. It’s the middle of the afternoon.”

“Well then he’s not one of those ponies either. He’s been overworked by Luna.” Shocked looks were passed around. “Not that kind of work. He’s just part of her Night Guard.”

Rainbow stopped. “Dad got a promotion? I thought he was too old to be part of the Guard.”

Firefly felt a little tinge of anger. If her own daughter was calling her husband old, what did that make her? In all her years of being in the guard, nopony had survived after calling her old. “Dashiel, what did you call your father?” Rainbow turned and saw her mother’s wrath. And so she ran as far away as possible.

The five mares just stared at the huge house. Rainbow had never told the girls what her family life was like. Rarity was practically gushing over the revelation that her smuggling friend was actually rich. Fluttershy just calmly slunk away at Posey’s command, mostly because Fluttershy had fainted from the news and Posey got the body controls for once. Twilight and Applejack just exchanged looks as Pinkie began planning for “Party number whateverty eleven”.

Slow methodical hoofsteps surprised Twilight and she turned to see Rainbow’s dad smirking. He quickly shushed her and dragged her towards the back of the house.

***

Twilight glared at Rainbow’s dad. “Why did you drag me back here? Do you know how weird that could have looked if somepony saw you drag me to a secluded room?”

Bifrost ran a hoof through his colorful mane and smirked. “You silly, narcissistic pony. I’ll have you know that my wife is very demanding in those kinds of affairs and that I came to talk to you about my lovely daughter. Be glad that you got me and not my Knight Rider.”

“Knight Rider?”

Bifrost just blushed as he remembered why her gave her that silly nickname. “Let’s just say that our first meeting was very different than normal. I wonder what she’s doing right now?”

***

At That Moment

Firefly gently set the bowl of fruit down on the table and waved the girls towards the snacks. As they all sat down to eat some tasty treats she began to get ready for The Talk.

“Now dears, I know that one of the few reasons my little bird of paradise would bring so many mares at my home is. . .”

Dash just shuddered as her mother embarrassed her yet again.

***

Twilight curled up on the chair that Bifrost led her to and gently sat down and looked around the room for the first time. Medals and decoration hung on the walls while the same six ponies kept appearing on each successive picture. One was Firefly and Twilight could see that her smile changed through each picture. Twilight guessed that the ones on her left were earlier in time because the pink pegasus’ smile was the broadest. Then she finally reached end of the pictures, It was markedly different than the rest. First of all, Celestia was present in the picture and everypony was crying. Second, while the other pictures had six friends, this one only had five present. Then she noticed the engraved words on the small plaque that told her all she needed to know.

“Posey- the best friend a pony could have, the mother of an adorable filly, and an Equestrian defender that knows no equal. May we remember her sacrifice always. Kindness shall miss you.”

“So you noticed the decorations, Miss Sparkle.” Twilight almost fell out of her chair as Bifrost spoke. “That was the day that my Knight Rider cried; she kept that picture to remember her friend. I don’t know most of the details, but I suggest you ask her.” He sighed and looked straight at the purple unicorn. “Now down to business.” With a thought he switched into his guard uniform.

Which surprised Twilight because he transformed into a bat pony.

“Ponyfeathers, Princess Luna told me that a transformation would be painful. but. . .” Bifrost gingerly poked at his fangs that magically came in, stretched his wings, and bade Twilight to stop hyperventilating. “Lunar Commander Bifrost and personal confidant of her Lunar Majesty Princess Luna- and on those monthly hormonal moody times- Nightmare Moon. I always did find that epithet a wee bit demeaning. How would you like to be called “a really annoying shut in” for example because that’s what vibe you’re giving off right now.”

Twilight frowned and wanted to have a chance to speak but Bifrost had something else on his mind.

“Now we have a matter of national security on our hands. I know you have an inkling of what I’m going to say. The Crystal Empire has been off the radar for almost three weeks.”

Twilight squirmed. She knew that the Crystal Empire was having issues but three weeks of silence was unheard of. Normal procedure called for the bare minimum of two check-ins through the magic lines every fortnight. “So what does this mean?”

“Well. It isn’t good. We have a few witnesses of what happened at the scene and they spoke of mechanical things that had some sort of nullifier armor- Magia class-”

Anti-magic shields? But that’s-”

“Highly theoretical and shouldn't be remotely possible? Yeah, we’ve heard. So I am telling you right now that Equestria is on high alert. It’s hush hush of course. Here’s the information that the Princesses gave me. You can have it. Rule number one of being a Commander in the Lunar Guard- memorize every document just in case some awe inspiring tantrum burns some documents.”

Twilight just turned and slowly began to walk out of the study. She laid a hoof upon the door. Then remembering a question, she turned. “What about Cadance and Shining Armor?”

Bifrost cocked his head and smiled. “Your brother and his love doctor? Dunno. As far as we know, they are currently missing. Oh and Twilight- tell Rainbowmane that she still owes me fifty bits from her last race.”

Twilight was shocked. He just chuckled. “You think Celestia doesn't keep tabs on a Lunar Commander and one of her five remaining Harmonic Knights Let’s just say that she sees the use of a smuggler- but she has to keep up her prim and proper demeanor. Now run off to your friends.” Bifrost waved her out and pulled out a large tome that he had planned on reading again. “The Commander of Mount Celestia. . .autobiography of Commander Hurricane.”

***

The dinner passed without much smalltalk as Firefly’s stories had scarred the mares that had heard it. Twilight didn't know what got into them because she was spared from The Talk. (And an anecdote about the time that Fancy Pants wanted to go drinking and Firefly told him that Bifrost was busy with personal matters. Of a rabbit nature.)

***

The Next Day

“Welcome folks to the annual Pega 500! I am your announcer, Madden, and with me today in the sound both is Equestria’s very own Sapphire Shores! We have a very wonderful for all you ponies out there in this very inclusive race. We have all the racers competing in their very own personal, in some cases, hoofmade airships! I hope that you remember the slogan of this New Cloudsdalian race: Anything goes! And now a word from our sponsor- Ponactin, for all those sports related injury needs!”

Rainbow looked over the competition. A few earth ponies that were probably related to Applejack were flying in an apple themed airship. Spitfire was in her Firebolt, Fancy Pants was somehow in the race, and nopony else was here. Last year must have scared off the competition.

“Alright. Simple.” She knew she would have to be careful though. The Pega 500’s slogan of anything goes did extend to weapon restrictions.

Dash tightly gripped the controls and she noted that Fluttershy added a few buttons that weren’t there before. The colorful pegasus hoped that Fluttershy hadn’t put too much power in the weapons. She remembered the last time Fluttershy had doled out her own brand of cheering. It didn’t end well for the spectators. . .

A roaring boom reached her ears and she pressed the ignition button. The mana battery roared to life as the flight spells were activated and she made her hunk of metal fly.

***

“And folks they are off! We have a varied crowd of racers today. Crowd favorites seem to be Rainbow Dash from our very own New Cloudsdale and Spitfire from Canterlot. these two ponies have some bad blood between them ever since last year’s spectacle of Dash’s loss at the last second to Spitfire’s Firebolt.

“Next on the list of ponies is Braeburn. Ponyville’s Apple Family. Now we don’t know much about him since the reporter than we had sent to Ponyville mysteriously disappeared with the words ‘I am now straight.’ Strange because I knew the mare and she was in a definitely happy same-sex relationship. I have to say that that Braeburn seems to have a magnetic personality!

“And finally we have Fancy Pants! He is an all-around gentleman and one of Canterlot’s elite! He has a ship he purchased on the spur of the moment and he said before the race that he would win the race for his wife! Isn’t that sweet, New Cloudsdale?”

***

Dash gently guided her ship, which was hurtling at speeds faster than normal pegasi could fly, and did another left turn. The Pega 500 was a test of a pegasus’ endurance since the same driver had to be in their ship for the duration of the race. 500 laps around a track.

***

Lap 290

Dash was forced to action when she heard the cannon yet again. The second cannon meant that a weapon had been implemented and had taken down one of the contestants. She quickly looked to see that Braeburn had been taken out by Spitfire.

“Wow! Wow! Wow! Did you see that? Spitfire has fired the first shot in the Pega 500! Her signature flame crystal missiles did the trick! Those things are the maximum explosive rounds allowed by the Games Commission and boy did l feel like a colt having a sugar coma. Isn’t that right, Ms. Shores?"

Dash cursed under her breath. Missiles definitely made Spitfire extremely dangerous. The orange mare really had a score to settle. Rainbow readied all her weapons.

***

In The Stands

Applejack cheered as her cousin was shot down. “That’s for sending me letters full of your gloatin’ and for turning everypony I know gay every Family Reunion. Your parents were cursed to have an insufferable stallion. . .”

Pinkie Pie just looked at her friends and did a twirling motion with her hoof as Applejack continued to rant about how perfect her cousin was.

***

Lap 450

Dash didn’t feel remorse as she blasted Fancy Pants out of the sky with a harpoon stright to his engine crystal. That caused the explosion to travel through the wires of Fancy Pants’ ship and it hit the ground with a resounding clang. Rainbow knew that the medics would be on scene in seconds since the sport of airship racing was notorious for extreme violence.

A message came through on the ship’s radio: “Hey, Dash, this is Spitfire. Wanna go all out and lose in the next lap? Cause I’m going to come for you and win. This is for blowing up the aerodrome last year!”

“I’m telling you! That was Fluttershy’s mistake. Sometimes she adds too much firepower to my ship!”

“So?”

“Okay.”

***

Lap 451

Dash stared down at Spitfire’s ship with fear. Spitfire had turned around her ship and was aiming straight towards Dash’s. “Oh Sweet Celestia. She is going to ram me.” Spitfire loosed all of her missiles and smiled as she saw the zooming rods of death head towards her adversary.

Dash prayed and hit all of her buttons at once. Even the ‘Do not press’ button which she headbutted. Dash saw stars as the payload of her ship was sent towards Spitfire. Rainbow Dash was speechless as a rainbow laser cut through Spitfire’s hull and through one of her wings. It ship listed to one side as it smoldered and rammed the ground with enough force to cause a shockwave to hit the stands/

“Yeah! I win! I win!” Then Rainbow saw that her engine battery was dead. “Fluttershy! You drew the power for the laser from the main battery?”

It was not a pretty landing.

***

The Hospital

Rainbow Dash stared at the ginormous medal that graced her bedside table. She felt accomplished and ecstatic about her win. Sure, she didn’t finish the race’s 500 laps- but when you have explosions everything is fine.

Rainbow spied a book nearby. “What’s this?” Rainbow read the cover. “Daring Do, Book 1: The Quest For The Sapphire Stone.” Rainbow looked around. “I guess I have nothing better to do. . .”

Back In Black

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Twilight groaned as she looked towards the blue unicorn that was sobbing in her jail. The day had been a long ordeal of chaos and disorder for Appleloosa as the street magician had used a currently unknown amulet. That caused Rarity of all ponies to cast magic that nearly broke all the magical rules set by the Founders, try to rule Appleloosa, and be just not a nice pony. Also she was black and by the most likely not-racist rules of Equestria (because Luna was not black- just a dark blue- except on full moons.) therefore all black things are somewhat evil. And Nightmarity was definitely black.

Twilight stared at her reflection in the mirror. The unicorn staring back at her had a new black eye and part of her mane had been burned off. Her whole body ached as she slowly brought forth her aura of magic and lifted a bottle of cider to her parched throat.

“Okay, Miss-”

“Trixie.” The mare choked her name out in between sobs. Twilight felt like she knew her from somewhere. Probably the School for Gifted Unicorns- that’s where most unicorns went to learn magic nowadays.

“Ok. Next question: Where did you get this “Alicorn Amulet” that seems to have placed one of my friends in a coma.”

“It all began. . .”

***

Trixie hated the Frozen North. Ever since her father, Presto, had been lost in a freak snowstorm in midsummer, her view of spending time in the frozen wastes were of a cautious sort. And then she still always went along for the dangerous trek North because the Crystal Empire payed the best for a jack of her trades. She loved being a performer- but she never was a truly powerful unicorn- so she had to look into other fields of work. So that was why, at her mother’s insistence that the line of Lulamoon had been street performers ever since the reign of Discord. Her mother must be happy somewhere, Trixie mused, because she had taken the performer route- though she had become a singer in places of ill repute and not a magic slinger.

Trixie shook her head vigorously to get that argument out of her memory and wrapped her parka around her to keep the bite of the cold from her senses. She hoped the stories she heard as a filly weren’t true. Creatures of great size and cruelty. Things like the White Ones of the Far North beyond the Empire and other fantastical beasts. She had to find cover soon or the small heat spell that she had cast earlier would end soon with how her magic reserves were getting low because the telltale sign of a headache that pulsed behind her eye had started a mile back.

“What I have to do to survive is ridiculous.”

Noticing that a cave had appeared from the falling snow, she trudged through the snow to get to the protective shelter of the cave. Her hooves echoed through the stone walls and she walked deeper in the dark cave. Once the light dimmed, she lit up the cave with a blue aura. She soon discovered, after a few minutes searching, that there was a staircase that led downwards into the earth.

“Well I pray to Celestia that nothing will happen.”

The room that she appeared in was covered in black crystals and a dank miasma hung powerfully throughout the cavern. Trixie had no idea who or what built this place but she did notice the centerpiece of the place. A black pillar jutted out of the ground and on top of it there was a something or other. Trixie had no idea what the stupid thing was because it looked similar to the Princesses’ choker things but it was black and red and had a giant ruby in the middle of it with wings and a unicorn head.

And Trixie thought it looked gaudy as buck.

Then to top of the ridiculous stupidity of the moment, because finding a jewel necklace in a cave isn’t ominous at all, the thing started talking to her.

“I am the Alicorn Amulet and I demand you to wear me! Or at least take me to the middle of the desert because I feel a spawn of mine living there! OOOOOOOOOOOO!”

Really it was a sad attempt of scaring fillies at this point. Almost as bad as the reveal of the Wizard in the Wizard of Oz- Trixie chuckled because somepony would be dead if they had to wait for Celestia knows how long to just scare some weary traveler; therefore, this pony amulet thing had to be a bumbling idiot.

“Fear me for I am King Sombra back from the dead!”

Now Trixie could believe that. Sombra, if the stories could be believed, was for the most part a terribly scary king. But sometimes kings want themselves to be known as scary- so he made himself into a monster. Really Trixie thought all those stories were hogwash anyway. So she put on a most wonderful act to trick Sombra into going to warmer climes (mostly cause Trixie heard that Appleloosa was a nice place this time of year.)

“Oh how terrifying! The fear has got me shaking in my non-existent booties. . .”

***

“And that’s how I brought a bumbling evil being into Appleloosa. Well, besides that stop in Dodge Junction where he did cause, in the week I was there, a zombie plague and the road to become a sea green color- which clashed so much with the houses. . .”

Twilight nursed a headache. “So you are telling me that Rarity is related to King Sombra?” Trixie half-nodded, more confused than anything. “And with how Princess Luna has been checking her vitals, the curse stuff isn’t going away anytime soon. Great. Add in the destruction caused by yet another Harmony Knight. . .” Twilight groaned, that Surprise pony was making less and less sense as she tried to understand the ramblings of a madmare.

“Oh can I stay? I mean- I did promise the bar owner a song or two after she liked my last one, and these ‘Crusaders’ seemed to like me.”

“Okay. But please continue with your story. How did the day become so mad?”

Trixie just grinned. “Oh have I got a story for you. . .”