The Conversion Bureau: Are all humans Truly Evil

by Shadow-Dancer

First published

My first one shot, there are only 500 humans left and humans and ponies have a tense relationship between the two races , Celestia interviews a human named Marcus. The subject, human nature

My first one shot, in which there are only 500 humans left and humans and ponies have a tence relationship between the two races, Celestia interviews a human and former soldier named Marcus. The subject, human nature

I wanted to do a story in which the reason for war, human nature and lastly why humans fight are explained in depth and TCB seemed like a perfect setting to do it in.


(I'm horrible at grammar)
(Inspired by "Why do we fight" by -Twilight)
(written in Marcus's POV)
(Teen for heavy language)
(I do not claim anything related to MLP: Friendship is Magic)

Chapter 1

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The Conversion Bureau: Are all humans really evil?

I was walking though the old ruins of Louisville, Kentucky, one of the only places not renamed by those damn ponies, the last place you can find humans, only 500 of us at that. If we try to go out of Kentucky we have to deal with the ponies. We now farm and hunt for food, the only good that has came out of this is now that our population is down there is no murders and few thefts because we all work together and if we killed each other the human race would be extinct, and we sure as hell don’t want that.

How we got to this; started with the “Conversion Bureaus” Equestria suddenly appeared in the Atlantic, and at first it wasn’t so bad with the Conversion Bureaus it was just an option. Mostly Bronies wanted to get converted and later others Equestria was just another country and we shared ideas and a small bit of our technology.

It was 20 years later when it became a problem, the ponies decided to force it upon those of us who did not want it, claiming it was for our own good. All hell broke loose, the rest of the world eventually declared war on equestria about 5 years later, it was slaughter, we did not expect that they built on the small amount of technology we gave them, they sent magically powered robots and some Unicorns we fought and died. Yes some ponies rebelled thinking it was not right to force conversion, they were disposed of by their Princesses. When we were reduced to a small population we surrendered agreeing on the terms that we keep Kentucky as a human state and if we ventured in equestria we would be converted. At the time there were only 5,000 of us, eventually murder and stupidity got all but 500 killed or converted. Now here we are the last few of the human race, our dignity, technology and over 5,000 years of history mostly gone.

I eventually walked to what use to be the KFC YUM Center and that’s when Celestia surrounded with several guards suddenly appeared in front of me “What the hell!” I shouted in surprise “Why the fuck are you here Princess?” saying Princess like a curse

“I’m here to ask several questions about you humans.” She replied disgusted at the very thought of humans.

“Why?” I asked now curious why the “all mighty and powerful Princess” cared anymore about us humans.

“Because, you were one of the few still alive that fought the war and the best at doing it.” “My intelligence said you killed 2,500 of my troops during the 10 year war, making you the most experienced out of your dying race.”

I let myself let out a slight grin that unsettled the Princess and said, “Wow I killed that many I never kept count.”

“Why did you grin like that? Did you enjoy killing all those ponies?” She asked with a hint of anger in her voice.

I thought for a moment and replied, “No!” I yelled “I did that to get you off balance. I don’t enjoy spilling blood; I don’t enjoy thinking about the ponies that would not see their families again, and if you asked any of the other soldiers most would agree with me! I continued yelling making Celestia flinch

“Why did you do it why did you fight?” She said raising her voice in return as I remained unaffected

“You want to know why!” “Then I will tell you why! I couldn’t stand by as you forced the potion down people’s throats, forcing them to convert! I and several others did not mind when it was done voluntarily, hell I was thinking of possibly becoming a unicorn. Well until you started forcing it at least!” “As soon as the war started I signed up to protect my race, my culture, my right to be human, and the right for the human race to exist!” “That is why I fought that long fucking war, watching my fellow humans die, in a slaughter!” “The only good you did was unite the entire fucking human race, even the damn Taliban fought alongside Christians, Jews, Americans and several other countries. I never thought that would happen in a million no, a billion years!” I laughed at the last part, still remembering those terrorist groups allying with us.

Celestia flinched at the strength of my response and said, “Okay then next question, Why did your race fight each other?”

I smiled and said, “We fought others to protect the freedom of the USA, to make sure that people were not scared to go out of their homes, to keep innocent children safe. Before you say it, no I did not take pride in killing fellow humans any more than ponies, but for a better tomorrow, for a better future free of fear.”

“Now my turn to ask a question, why did you force us to covert to ponies?” I asked

Celestia was caught off guard by the question and after a few moments said, “I, we forced it to help you to make you all better to get rid of your ‘evil’ ways.”

I stood there for a moment. Did she just say humans were in general ‘evil?’ That was the moment I really snapped and I said, “Why do think of our ways as evil but you progressed to force a change that some did not welcome! How can you do that and say that in general the human ‘ways’ are evil!

Yes some humans are ‘evil’ as you put it but as a wise man once said, ‘you must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty!’ This if you don’t already know, means humans are not inherently evil we are prone to emotion yes; there are some bad humans yes! That’s the beauty of humanity we fall but get back up and continue and learn from our mistakes. As I’m sure ponies do to.

Tell me if I’m wrong but ponies and humans are similar in many ways. So next time you start accusing another race of being ‘evil’ find out their motives and also look at your own civilization! It is just as tainted as humans. Before you try to ‘purify’ some other race look at your own! Now answer this question to yourself” I said, “Are all humans truly ‘evil’? Once you think on this for a year come back and try to call all humans worse and more ‘evil’ than ponies!” I said out of breath.

“Now I am done here” I said walking out as Celetia teleported away.