Prologue.
The name's Willie Hill, my job bounty hunter. For the right price anything's possible. Until there's one man on Earth somebody is going to want somebody dead. Need somebody dead, would you like fries with that? Need somebody somewhere, what's the deadline? I'm not such a bad guy, if you're on ma good side. All I need is a pea shooter and some pesos, and whoever ya want is deader than a door nail in ten seconds flat. And now I'm covered on all sides by horse lookin' mother-humpers. Yeah I reckon Houston went to hell in a hand basket while I was gone, but Hell is where I belong. "So thou art finally awake." They seemed to bow like she was some type a royalty, they turned their back on me. Big Mistake, I put my double-barreled shotgun flush to ones head and BANG!
"I just blew yer mind... Outta yer head!" The purple brains painted a masterpiece on the wall over there.
"Uh huh." She didn't seem to care but just in case, I reached into my vest and grabbed out some buckshot rounds and reloaded. I blew another's head clean off. Man I could do this all day. "There Thou hast had thine fun."
"Not my fault they're idiots. When one gets shot the others run, simple."
"They follow orders, those orders were to do no harm unto thee.
"I work alone. Things like loyalty don't fit in the overhead compartment."
"Thou hast been brought here for a reason."
"What do you want?"
"I need someone out of the picture so to speak."
"I'm listening," A job's a job even coming from whatever the hell she is.
"I am by no means a warrior. I have entire armies for that exact reason."
"So what do you need me for?" This all seems a little stupid, coming from the guy talkin to a horse.
"I lack the efficiency of a human, especially one of your caliber, William Hill Boothe, the hunter trained by Jack Duncan himself. Hand picked to lead the secret service for Ulysses S. Grant at the age of 18, and did dirty work for Al Capone at 27."
"I see my reputation precedes me, I'll need a name, how you want it done, and 45% payment up front, cuz well I'm skint broke."
"My list is long, better start with someone easy, King Bowie of the Diamond Dogs. His son David is willing to become allies with my forces when his father passes."
"So you want me to off this Bowie guy, in order to speed up the hostile takeover bid? By shoving the tail of the snake down it's own throat, it gives you a firm hand-hold and one step closer, to running the world." I found a chair, sat down, and kicked my boots off.
"That's not how I would put it." She rolled her eyes.
"T'swhat it sounds like. Give me a run down on this place cause it definitely ain't like I'm used to."
"Let's start from the beginning, about a thousand years ago."
"In the future."
"Right, There was a girl who loved her sister, but soon that love turned into hatred and jealousy, she tried pushing these emotions down into her heart and over the years these feelings got stronger until they burst forth consuming her. She became insane and grew megalomaniacal, she was banished from the kingdom until two years ago when she had fully developed two personalities, one her original self,"
"And the second into whatever your name is." I'll just play along for now, until I can find an address for the nearest loony bin.
"I am The Nightmare Moon, and these are the top ten creatures on my hit list as you would say." Ten pictures were thrown down on the table I was resting my feet on.
"Can I get some coffee?" A ceramic mug was placed in my hand within seconds. "Man the service here's incredible. I looked through the photos, and stopped at the dog. "So this is this Bowie character?" She wasn't kidding about that dog bit. "How much is his head worth?"
"One Million." I nearly choked down my coffee.
"Dollars, James Hardin was only woth twelve thousand." Holy shit,
"Bits." Still even if it's a million of those stupid half quarters, I pocket $125,000. They're like gold pieces." If this one worth a cold mill, how much are some of these others worth?
"Wait did you say gold?"
"Thou art correct."
"You got a map?" She pointed to a bulletin board, with a map on it. "Where am I and how did I get here?"
"This place is called Equestria, and thou hast arrived here due to magic."
"Magic? No there ain't no such thing, if you'da said Aliens, or time travel, or some weird shit like that I'da believed you. Right now we're on the wrong foot. Notice I don't care about the stupid species difference, because I'm gonna stick with Aliens. Cuz talking horses that just ain't natural." I felt a yawn coming on. "And don't get me started on the stupid name, so is this another planet?"
"It is very much Earth, in the year 4012."
"Aliens and Time Travel, ooh ain't I lucky? Now payment I obviously can't carry around that much dough without causing some kinda suspicion,"
"Tis not a problem. Here is your payment." Some saddlebags floated over and landed on the table.
"The hell am I supposed to do with these. I ain't got a horse."
"Thou canst borrow one of mine." She brought a hoof to her mouth and whistled, how in the blue hell can she do that? A black Clydesdale galloped into the room. "I have grown tired of this one think of it as a gift, and for some extra incentive, take this, tis dangerous out there." A new belt appeared around my waist sporting a brand new pair of Revolver pistols and a serrated survival knife.
"Well thank you kindly," I stood up and walked over to my new mode of transport, and I must say a mighty fine piece on work. Strong back, big lungs, deep blue eyes. "What's your name big guy?"
"He does not speak, I prefer the strong silent type, they have many advantages." It didn't take much to figure out that she used this stud for a slave.
"Typical woman, once you're finished with em you just toss em aside like yesterday's trash. And us men fall for it every time, don't we Fella." He whinnied like telling me he agreed. "We'll set off in about an hour, and maybe we'll learn you to talk, like her." I threw the saddlebags on him climbed on. "I'ma put him through his paces, then we'll head out." I whipped the reigns and he trotted out the door. Once out of the castle he went into a full gallop. This horse was faster than any thoroughbred I ever rode. I started hearing this voice. "Whoa, boy." He stopped and looked around, apparently he heard it too. "Wait here, it sounds like it's coming from over there."
I hopped off his back and took out my new knife, and started bushwhacking. What I saw on the other side was a naked woman bathing in a waterfall, humming the most touching tune I ever heared in my life. Entranced by her song and curves I took a step forward, a twig snapped under my boot and brought me back. She turned around and drew a pistol. "Who are you!"
"You don't want to get in a gun fight with me, sister, lead is one of the few things I don't want to see put in you."
"I asked you a question, and I want an answer." She pulled the hammer back.
"William H. Boothe, and your's pretty lady?"
"Patricia Hayden, United States Navy but I guess that no longer matters." She lowered her gun and walked to her clothes which were folded on a rock. She still kept her eyes on me though. "Did you say Booth, as in,"
"John Wilkes yes,"
"Interesting, I see you have chosen a more western attire, whilst mine is more modern."
"When you from?" I sat down and took a good long look and my new six shooters. Shiny silver not a lick of rust, and the bullets were top of the line.
"2013,"
"Ooh from the future is we? How'd you get here."
"I was on a routine flying exercise over open waters, and in seconds I flew into a hurricane, that wasn't there a second before. Next thing I knew I crashed my plane near here. Mostly cosmetic damage though. All I need's a welding torch and a plasma cutter."
"So that Women's Rights thing worked?"
"Yep, now why are you here?"
"Born and bred in Texas, not much to tell without havin to kill you. U.S. secret service,"
"You're the William H Boothe?"
"The one and only, though I put an E at the end cuz well the whole Lincoln thing."
"Wow, a living legend."
"Not that I didn't enjoy the show, but I got a job to do.... Aw shit."
"What?"
"She didn't tell me where to go." I whistled for the Stud. He stuck his head through the brush. "I gotta go back and get directions." Y'know I really gotta think of a name for him. "C'mon let's go big guy." I hopped up on his back and offered my hand to the pretty lady. "I'm sure that Miss Moon'll give you a job if'n you want."
"I don't see why not, I mean there isn't anything to do around here."
"Partners?"
"Partners," She smiled and took my hand. I hefted her up and sat her down behind me.
"Hold on this's gonna be a bumpy ride." I whipped the reigns and Stud bolted back to the castle, only a few minutes later, we arrived. I turned my head back and she fell off. "I told you to hold on didn't I?"
"I didn't expect a horse to go sixty miles an hour!"
"Make yourself presentable Miss Hayden, I'd like you to meet my boss." I helped her up and she combed through her long black hair with her fingers. The castle door creaked open and we went inside. She kept her hand on her gun and followed slowly, I'll admit I didn't get a good chance to get a feel for the layout last I was here, but eventually I found the throne room.
"My, My, that was quite short," Miss Moon shouted from the throne holding a crossbow.
"What the Hell is that!" Miss Hayden drew her pistol and screamed. "Drop the weapon,"
"I'd prefer if thou wouldst first."
"On three we both do it. One, Two, Three." Patricia holstered her gun, and Miss Moon set down the bow. "Now give me some answers, first of all HOW CAN YOU TALK!"
"I know of primitive Earth languages, and thus I may speak in them, as can humans."
"That's idiotic, it makes no sense, how in your horse brain can you know the complex muscle movements and voice box needed to speak English let alone any other language?"
"She's an Alien,"
"I do believe in intelligent life out there but if she is how did she get here, and why work with us and not her own kind?"
"He is correct, I am from a planet thou may knoweth as Uranus, or Poseidon if thou art from 2200 of earth years. The Equestrians as we were called by the populace of this planet arrived here by what humans called teleportation, we prefer the term magic."
"How did your kind learn of Earth?"
The patron god of our race was well known by the Grecians as they referred to themselves as. The Equestrians worshiped Poseidon, for fathering our kind. And so did humans, which led us to believe that our two worlds were connected in some cosmic way, unbeknownst to either race at the time. But upon the eve of December the 31st 2299 we realized that we were here to protect the fragile human race, from extinction, sadly we failed in this respect, and decided to remain here and help the land return to it's former glory in hopes that one day the gods would recreate the humans which we had grown to love as our own family.
"What happened?"
From Earth's Moon came an abomination called X-od, led by warriors stronger than any we in our combined history had faced. It seemed that upon contact the humans became weak like the enemy radiated disease.
"How did you win?"
We by no means won the war, our allies weakened by the mere presence of the enemy fell rather quickly. We rallied against the technology based species with our vast catalogs of magical spells which seemed to catch them off guard at first, but when King Agenor was killed the X-od seemed to gain his memories, his thought processes, his power.
"So once assimilated they used his memories to topple the already crumbling resistance. Wait you said the war wasn't won, where are the X-od now?"
"The Enemy was indeed driven back but they remain a threat due to one crucial aspect, they are a hive mind, Each soldier knowing what the leader knows. The leader knows anything and everything, and all they have to do is touch, alive or recently dead, all of thine memories are added to their already vast knowledge." Ooh these things sound like the perfect prey, time to go hunting.